Impatience -- Can I tough it out: Cold Turkey Lexapro

[Impatience]

All my life I had mild to moderate anxiety, but I have always been a tough person in charge of myself, and so I just dealt with it. In fact, I channeled that energy into being a seriously Type A personality. Then about three years ago I went through some pretty traumatic stuff. I couldn't recover before a new level of horrible kicked me again, and I became almost non-functional. I went to a therapist, and she sent me to a psychiatrist. He put me on 10, then 20, then 30 mg of Lexapro. I also had Xanax available if/when I needed it (which I hardly ever take -- haven't been through 30 in a year). Honestly, I feel like meds saved my life at the time. But... 60 pounds heavier, and a marriage that's seriously suffering because my husband is repulsed by me, and I am ready to move on to the next phase of my life. Life is more stable now, and I think I got the break I needed to be able to deal... at least I hope.

 

Somewhere in the middle of all of that I quit smoking after a 20 year addiction. I did it cold turkey. It sucked. Hard. But then it was over. And because it sucked, I have no desire to ever start again -- I don't want to have to quit ever again!

 

I want to be done with Lexapro, and I want it to be done and over.

 

Everywhere I read says you have to taper, but the only reason they give is because the withdrawal symptoms suck. Well, yeah. But if I just grit my teeth, can't I just get through it and be done forever? I haven't actually heard any reasons why you can't other than it sucks and you will probably give up. Uh, no I won't.

 

What am I missing?

 

Additional info: I'm on day 3 of zero Lexapro. Irritable. Brain zaps. Stupid headed. Bad insomnia. Probably take a 1/2 Xanax before bed. Am going to see my GYN this week to get my progesterone refilled, and I'm going to get my mega dose of Vitamin D. Probably take the 200 mg of Zen that I used to take before Lexapro (if you're not familiar with it -- good stuff).

[Claudius]

Impatience as your name suggests, you just do not have the patience to do a very slow taper. And so was I confirmed that "I could do this", more than 4 years ago. Though I still did not have any knowledge about tapering.

Addiction to an SSRI is completely different from smoking or alcohol or even heroin. An SSRI does not generate the typical craving behaviour (what is the pharmaceutival definition of addiction) but quitting c/t or by alternating dosis just makes you extremely sick, physically and mentally, and it can take years to experience even the slightest improvement. Many, many people who quit cold turkey, especially from Paxil and Efexor (Lexapro appears to be slightly less dangerous from whot I read and hear) were forced to commit suicide or get back to their pills just to end in a much worse shape than ever.

I ride it out, and still have many, mainly neurological, problems now after 4.5 years, though there is definately progression and I still expect to heal from this. But I have no family, no children and got financial support. Not everybody is so lucky as I was in this sense.

Bottomline, this is not about "toughing it out", it is about surviving! THat is why this site has its name!

Do not play with your life and do a consistent, slow taper!!!

[Jemima]

I tapered off of Lexapro 10 mg. over four months and that was still too fast. I took my last fraction of a pill on December 14, 2011, and I'm still not quite right. If I had it to do over again, I'd stretch it out to at least six months. Please note that I was on antidepressants for only sixteen months, and from what I've observed on the forum, the longer a person is on the drug, the longer the recovery. Recovery from cold turkey withdrawal appears to be far more painful and takes even longer.

 

You're on a very, very high dose of Lexapro, triple what most people are prescribed, and Lexapro is an exceptionally strong drug. My doctor switched me from 50 mg. of Pristiq to 10 mg. of Lexapro and I didn't notice any difference between the two doses except that I calmed down somewhat after the switch. Both drugs made me hyperactive and somewhat zombified.

 

There is no point whatever in going cold turkey. That will just make withdrawal and recovery far more agonizing and take far longer than necessary. The problem with SSRI drugs is that just getting the drug out of one's system isn't enough, because the drugs change our brains neurologically. That takes a lot of time to heal.

 

I very strongly advise you to take it very slow and very easy.

[Altostrata]

Hi, Impatience.

 

Going cold turkey is a role of the dice. Withdrawal symptoms may resolve in a few months, or you may be suffering terribly for years, even become disabled.

 

As Jemima says, there is no reason at all for taking the risk of cold turkey, especially at the ridiculously high dosage of Lexapro that you've been taking. That you are having brain zaps and insomnia is a bad sign.

 

Do not depend on the benzo to pull you through. You may end up having to carefully taper the benzo as well. The combination of benzo and antidepressant withdrawal syndrome is very, very difficult to deal with.

 

I suggest you go back right away on 15mg Lexapro and see if the withdrawal symptoms go away. If they do, stay at that dosage for a month, then taper more gradually -- see Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)

[Barbarannamated]

Hi Impatience -

Alto best explains the difference- I havent smoked but understand that is a brutal withdrawal so KUDOS on that

I was on opiates for ~8 years - daily use prescribed by reputable (ie not pill mill) anesthesiology pain doc - stopping opiates was much easier for me than the bizarre and unexpected withdrawal from Pristiq (last of SS/NRI after 18 years)- I did not get zaps so thought my bizarre perceptual and mood symptoms were situational anxiety related although I didn't suffer from anxiety pre -ADs - tapered very sloppily over roughly 10 months and THEN read Alto's post about protracted withdrawal on Beyond Meds a few months after my last dose and shortly after learning that my neuroendocrine system is extremely messed up with serotonergics being a large contributing factor -

Some use the term 'nonlinear' to describe SSRI withdrawal as opposed to other substances - it *seems* most comparable to how benzo w/d has been described but that is purely my own take and not personal experience - I don't know why I didn't get zaps this time when I used to get them with 1 missed dose of Effexor but I would have been much more careful (hindsight 20/20) -

You landed in the right place for guidance - the knowledge in this group amazes me -

[niknash]

Take it from someone who basically quit cold turkey (actually worse than that - I skipped doses and went back and forth)...IT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN PUSH THROUGH OR TOUGH OUT. i thought the same thing and 7 months later it is a struggle to make it through each day. I am 29 years old and I am out of work and barely able to find strength to exist each day. I have lost myself and do not see how i will ever be the same again - let alone a functional person. Before this I was a healthy, average young, newly married woman - worked hard, funny, intelligent ....trust me these pills do not just control anxiety - as the others said even though you may not notice it while on them - they change your brain and you could wind up being worse in so many other ways than what you originally were put on these for. PLEASE REINsTATE and listen to your body on how slow to come off - even if it takes years it is worth keeping your health intact....please listen.

[Jemima]

I suspect your "impatience" may be another side effect of Lexapro, especially at such a high dose. I got off it because it was making me so hyperactive (at 2.5 mg.) I was afraid I'd end up in the hospital for exhaustion. I also made some rather stupid purchases during my hyperactive period and expected way too much of myself. I wanted EVERYTHING and RIGHT NOW. I didn't get in over my head financially, but I did buy a lot of things way too far in advance, and now have a lot of annoying clutter sitting around, waiting to be installed, assembled, and whatnot.

 

It isn't easy, but try to take a look at yourself objectively. I sometimes had moments when I became very much aware that Lexapro was making me act in out-of-character ways. Things that would ordinarily be upsetting weren't, and the good days were lacking in some indefinable quality.

 

I do hope you'll take Alto's advice on a slow taper. Withdrawal from SSRI drugs isn't easy under the best of circumstances.

[Impatience]

I appreciate all the input, and I did take all of it into account. It made me extra vigilant about keeping up with my symptoms. I saw my GYN on Wednesday, and she said if I'd made it this long and was doing this well, she wouldn't discourage me from what I'm doing.

 

My w/d symptoms have decreased over the week. I started taking Magnesium Malate for the brain zaps, and that has really helped. They're not as frequent or as strong, and it's getting better every day! I am also taking Omega 3 fish oil and B-12 losenges. My GYN gave me a megadose Vitamin D, and I'm back on my progesterone. The sleeping is getting a lot better. Right now irritability seems to be my most common side effect, and I'm trying to relearn coping skills to chill out. I'll be glad when my bottle of zen gets here My symptoms are much worse at the end of the day -- really foggy headed, and sometimes that's really wearing, but every morning I wake up feeling great. Getting extra sleep helps. Laying off the caffeine helps with the brain zaps. I need to get better about drinking water.

 

I can see some of my old behaviors starting to surface as the Lexapro leaves my system -- obsessive thoughts and being super disturbed by certain sights or ideas. How I didn't miss that. But. I can deal. Sometimes I have to physically get up and move, do something else, to chase away the thoughts, but I am able to do it.

 

But some of the good w/d symptoms?! I feel so much more motivated and optimistic already! Things that I have been putting off for months, I just clicked through yesterday. I didn't even think about it at the time, and I realized that I had filled out these 7 little forms at work, made an appointment with my GYN, and called my pharmacy about my hormones script in like 20 minutes, and I have been putting those stupid little things off for months! Today, when I realized that I hadn't prebooked my hair appt last time, I just picked up the phone and called them. Normally that would've been something I dreaded and put off for days, if not weeks!

 

Don't get me wrong, Lexapro and my therapist and shrink saved my friggen life three years ago. Without a doubt. Even if I have to drag myself through withdrawals, I will always believe it was worth it. But I'm ready to move on -- clean and clear headed!

[Nikki]

Hi Impatience....

 

God Bless you. I could never have done what you are doing. I did a two year taper from Lexapro because that was all my body/mind/emotions could allow and that was alot for me.

 

My suggestion to you would be to reinstate some of the Lexapro because cold turkey can sneak up and leave you/us in a discontinuation state for a very long time. No distrespect to your GYN, but they are a GYN. Most physicians are unaware of the pitfalls of AD's.

 

Then again a friend of mine got off Lexapro in a few months time by cracking the pills. Se had a hard time, got thru it and was done with it. She was on a small dose.

 

Your supplements sound very hepful, and thank you for posting that.

 

Reinstating has a window of time. It did happen to me with Lexapro. Apparently, there is a month or so window of time to get back on the stuff to feel any type of relief. After a few months, it may be useless.

 

I am not trying to scare you, just present you with some information regarding cold turkey and the possible effects. Onl you live in your own shoes and know what is trly best, what you can and cannot handle.

 

I do admire your courage.....I wish I had some

[Impatience]

I do admire your courage.....I wish I had some

 

Oh please don't say that. The last thing I want to do is make it seem like this is a contest of courage or strength. I feel like I don't have the sticktoitiveness to taper. I am great for a sprint and terrible at a marathon. Terrible.

 

I'm just trying to journal my recovery. It's hard not to get discouraged when I'm feeling lousy, so I'm trying to record the good and the bad. It reminds me to look at the positive, not just the negative -- which is one of the main personality problems I have anyway.

[Altostrata]

Impatience, it's good to hear your symptoms are fading, and the supplements helped.

 

If they get at all worse, please consider going back on a small amount of Lexapro and tapering properly.

 

It's true, some people can get away with cold turkey. You may have won the lottery this time! However, take the withdrawal symptoms you did experience as a warning -- a person's nervous system can be hurt badly from too-fast withdrawal. It's possible your system has now been sensitized to psych drugs, you should go very carefully with them in the future.

 

It's also good to hear how you are coping with the symptoms that brought you to Lexapro. We have other suggestions here Psychotherapeutic techniques to cope with withdrawal

[Impatience]

15 days off Lexapro and W/D symptom free!

 

And the last two Sundays I have had the first authentic worship experiences in a couple of years. I feel like the blanket has been lifted off my emotions, which is both good and bad, but I'm ready for it!