success ☼ MrAnxious: 3 months off Effexor XR (6 years on)

[MrAnxious]

Well I'd like to tell everyone that I have been off Effexor since Aug 17/2012 , So almost 8 months. I have noticed considerable progress, but still believe Buspar is covering up a part of the withdrawal from Effexor, only time will tell when i taper off that.

 

So far though I have come a long way to where I was and everyone remembers that. I could barely function the first 6 months off the drug. So I have had 2 presentations so far in the program I am taking and have done really well on tests,quizes, presentations. I have 2 weeks of school left and then I go into placement, very nervous and alot of stress going on right now, but i am staying strong. My average is like 89% so that's too shabby.

 

 

Thought I'd let you know that the windows and waves are killer but more and more it's getting better.

[Narcissus]

Thank you Mr. A, your progress is inspiring.

[strawberry17]

I agree you're doing so well.

[Karma]

Hi MrA. I'm so glad to hear you are having more good days than bad and thank you for the mention above. It does my heart good to see you post about how well you are doing .

 

I saw a post by a member recently where she had experienced some windows and the waves seemed even worse because she knew how good she could feel. I think that might be what you are feeling - the windows are so good that it makes the waves seem more profound. We do know from others' accounts that the windows extend and last longer and the waves do fade.

 

Do you take Omega 3 Fish Oil? I take 3000 mg daily and I started taking it when I went through bad withdrawals in 2011. I take 1500 mg AM and 1500 mg with dinner. I did find that it helped. Here is a link to information on Omega 3 fish oil: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/. When members are sensitized we recommend they start with a lesser dose and work their way up, but you might be able to start out on 1000 mg or so.

 

Karma

[Barbarannamated]

Hi Mr. A. I hadn't visited your thread in awhile and just checked in. I had the same hard crash of a wave after my first significant window that lasted several weeks. The bad days do seem much worse after getting a taste of better days and feeling somewhat *normal*... like a tease or taunt. Karma and others keep encouraging me and reminding me that windows are a good indicator of healing.

 

You've certainly come a LONG WAY in a short time! (My history is much longer and more complex).

 

Yours is an encouraging story.

[MrAnxious]

Hi MrA. I'm so glad to hear you are having more good days than bad and thank you for the mention above. It does my heart good to see you post about how well you are doing .

 

I saw a post by a member recently where she had experienced some windows and the waves seemed even worse because she knew how good she could feel. I think that might be what you are feeling - the windows are so good that it makes the waves seem more profound. We do know from others' accounts that the windows extend and last longer and the waves do fade.

 

Do you take Omega 3 Fish Oil? I take 3000 mg daily and I started taking it when I went through bad withdrawals in 2011. I take 1500 mg AM and 1500 mg with dinner. I did find that it helped. Here is a link to information on Omega 3 fish oil: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/. When members are sensitized we recommend they start with a lesser dose and work their way up, but you might be able to start out on 1000 mg or so.

 

Karma

 

 

Thanks Karma, you have definitely helped me along the way and I am ever so grateful for it. I would say if it wasn't for the of the members in this room , not sure where I would be. You are so right about these waves and windows, like I will feel good and then boom it will be like i am back where i started but different feelings, like for the past week my mind has fixated on a mistake i made when i was a teenager that i totally forgot about for the longest time, even though I have forgave myself it just keeps replaying in my mind over and over, just hoping it's the wave that has brought this to my mind. Good News : 1 week left of school, I just completed 3 months through this w/d in a program called PSW personal support worker and now I am going into a placement at a long term care facility, so nervous especially with these waves, hope everything goes okay. I know I am putting alot of stress on myself but I am 30 and need a job and stability. Don't really have any other options. So right now it's been anxiety/nervousness, the physical symptoms are really almost gone. The Naturopath I am with has me on Sulphur which i think has helped but it could just be a money grab, but he seems to know what he is doing. The last time I took effexor or anti depressant was August/2012 so following a timeline i think i am doing well. I Just have to say the biggest problem now is talking to people and having eye contact and actually retaining what i say to them and trying to understand them in my head. Any advice to this ? I hope you are doing well, take care. Oh and yes I swear by the fish oil, have taken it through all the years on the meds, i think thats why i avoided alot of the brain shocks.

[MrAnxious]

Hi Mr. A. I hadn't visited your thread in awhile and just checked in. I had the same hard crash of a wave after my first significant window that lasted several weeks. The bad days do seem much worse after getting a taste of better days and feeling somewhat *normal*... like a tease or taunt. Karma and others keep encouraging me and reminding me that windows are a good indicator of healing.

 

You've certainly come a LONG WAY in a short time! (My history is much longer and more complex).

 

Yours is an encouraging story.

 

 

Thank you very much and yes you helped me out so much with ur advice in the past and I am ever so grateful, could you read what i just wrote to Karma and see if you know anymore also. I hope you are feeling better and progressing well, and yes these waves and windows are very confusing because sometimes its hard to know what is what. cause they keep changing with different symptoms everytime.

[strawberry17]

Mr Anxious it is great to see you doing so well with getting on with your life after where you were before, you're doing great. I absolutely recognise what you're saying about things going well, and then boom, happens to me and it feels like the end of the world but then it passes again.

Not sure I have any advice on the eye contact thing, I remember you mentioning it before, it might be that you're fine on this and you've just perceived it to be more of a problem than it is? I swear by fish oil as well.

[MrAnxious]

Hey Strawberry

 

Yes I seemed to be doing fine and made alot of positive changes until these past 2 weeks. I have felt very nervous , anxious, my head feels like a pressure cooker , my sleep is really broken where i am waking up a 3am,4,5 and then not getting back to bed and then i will just lay in bed and my head just feels wonky. It's so upsetting when you feel like you are recovering and then BOOM it hits you gradually and you can't see recovery anymore. In a way the only support that I get is right here and you guys are amazing, because you take the time to help others and it feels really good. The eye contact thing would be like this : I have super blue eyes apparently and it seems when i talk to somebody i am reading into them more than what they are actually telling me, it's been an issue since i got off the drug. Like I will get lost in their eyes and not concentrate on what they are actually telling me, like a trance or something, i could really use some advice if anybody has some. Good news, I have been off Effexor since Aug 13/2012, Bad news is i feel like it's calling me back slowly. Also is Benzo withdrawal the same as anti depressant w/d ?

 

Love all you guys so much,

[Karma]

Hi Mr.A

 

I know exactly how you feel when you start fixating on a mistake ... I have had this very same thing happen to me. In fact, when I had severe withdrawals in the fall of 2011 it was brought on by a mistake I made in a spreadsheet at work ... totally freaked me out. Turns out that the mistake didn't matter at all in the long run. I've had it since then, too, but allow myself to feel the emotions around it and then eventually it passes. I do think it is associated to withdrawing from the drugs.

 

On the eye contact thing ... try focusing on only one eye rather than looking at both eyes. I find that people act like I'm looking them in the eye, but it is less distracting to me. Maybe this will help you keep your focus and maintain your train of thought.

 

We've talked about waves and windows, but I also think that since your future is uncertain there is a certain amount of anxiety that goes along with the territory. I find that when things are consistent I cope with them better, but when my daily routine is challenged I find it a little more difficult. Remind yourself of the success you've experienced in school and try not to fight the anxiety you are feeling.

 

Hang in there - you are really doing well and we are rooting for you.

 

Karma

[Barbarannamated]

Mr. A,

 

I don't have anything significant to add. Just wanted to say that "wonky" is a perfect word to describe most of the last 2+ years since withdrawing from Pristiq.

 

I also relate very much to fixating or perseverating on an issue. Things are popping up from my memory of young adult years and are clear as if they happened yesterday. They're not new / repressed memories, but things I thought I had dealt with or pushed through. I don't push them away too forcefully because I suspect they come up for a reason ~ reconsideration from a new perspective, for example.

 

B

[MrAnxious]

Hi Mr.A

 

I know exactly how you feel when you start fixating on a mistake ... I have had this very same thing happen to me. In fact, when I had severe withdrawals in the fall of 2011 it was brought on by a mistake I made in a spreadsheet at work ... totally freaked me out. Turns out that the mistake didn't matter at all in the long run. I've had it since then, too, but allow myself to feel the emotions around it and then eventually it passes. I do think it is associated to withdrawing from the drugs.

 

On the eye contact thing ... try focusing on only one eye rather than looking at both eyes. I find that people act like I'm looking them in the eye, but it is less distracting to me. Maybe this will help you keep your focus and maintain your train of thought.

 

We've talked about waves and windows, but I also think that since your future is uncertain there is a certain amount of anxiety that goes along with the territory. I find that when things are consistent I cope with them better, but when my daily routine is challenged I find it a little more difficult. Remind yourself of the success you've experienced in school and try not to fight the anxiety you are feeling.

 

Hang in there - you are really doing well and we are rooting for you.

 

Karma

 

 

Karma thank you so much for giving me this new perspective, you truly are a angel and I really hope you are doing well. I am going to try the one eye thing because I actually think thats great advice. From the start of this w/d I have come along way, the only thing left is the intense jittery/anxiety feeling that seems to be 24/7 but I think this should decrease as time goes by. You are also so right about the future as it is up in the air.

 

 

Thank you so much for answering/responding to me, you have been a great support that I will never forget. *hugs*

[MrAnxious]

Mr. A,

 

I don't have anything significant to add. Just wanted to say that "wonky" is a perfect word to describe most of the last 2+ years since withdrawing from Pristiq.

 

I also relate very much to fixating or perseverating on an issue. Things are popping up from my memory of young adult years and are clear as if they happened yesterday. They're not new / repressed memories, but things I thought I had dealt with or pushed through. I don't push them away too forcefully because I suspect they come up for a reason ~ reconsideration from a new perspective, for example.

 

B

 

You are so right about the new perspective, it was actually something I did as a teenager that I am not proud of today it was petty stealing from somebody's house and when I look back on it, I feel such shame and guilt when I know this is not the way i was raised or who I want to be, it was about 17 years ago so not sure why it keeps coming in my head, maybe cause this w/d has gave me so much perspective on life and has changed me. Do you think it will eventually go away cause i have prayed for my sins to be healed and asked for forgiveness. I hope you feel better soon, and 2 plus years is a long time to feel this way. *hugs*

[Fizz]

MrA, here's my perspective, there's people that have done far, far worse things, please don't worry, they are w/d thoughts! I am all too used to the obsessive thinking too! You're not alone on that one. Have a lovely day, hugs.xxxxx

[MrAnxious]

MrA, here's my perspective, there's people that have done far, far worse things, please don't worry, they are w/d thoughts! I am all too used to the obsessive thinking too! You're not alone on that one. Have a lovely day, hugs.xxxxx

 

 

Thanks Fizz, I could use your perspective anytime. It's like why does it pop into my head this long after and how do i go about clearing my mind from it, or will it just pass eventually when all this other non sense does.

[MrAnxious]

This wave is really kicking my butt. This one has affected my sleep and I wake up with my head feeling like a pressure cooker, really tense and anxious upon waking but then gets gradually better as the day goes on. I really don't understand, it's been a week and a half feeling like this, when you are feeling like this it seems like you will never have a window again, so i must note the progress on here WAVE WAVE WAVE right now. This too shall pass. I hope. Like sleep is so important , why does it have to be affected. I am 8 months out right now.

[Fizz]

So easy to get caught up in the wave each time, do you find it's like living in two different worlds? Mine eased up for a bit on Saturday, bit smoother waters now, I know yours will, hoping it will be very soon. Xxxxxx

[Karma]

 

Mr. A,

 

I don't have anything significant to add. Just wanted to say that "wonky" is a perfect word to describe most of the last 2+ years since withdrawing from Pristiq.

 

I also relate very much to fixating or perseverating on an issue. Things are popping up from my memory of young adult years and are clear as if they happened yesterday. They're not new / repressed memories, but things I thought I had dealt with or pushed through. I don't push them away too forcefully because I suspect they come up for a reason ~ reconsideration from a new perspective, for example.

 

B

 

You are so right about the new perspective, it was actually something I did as a teenager that I am not proud of today it was petty stealing from somebody's house and when I look back on it, I feel such shame and guilt when I know this is not the way i was raised or who I want to be, it was about 17 years ago so not sure why it keeps coming in my head, maybe cause this w/d has gave me so much perspective on life and has changed me. Do you think it will eventually go away cause i have prayed for my sins to be healed and asked for forgiveness. I hope you feel better soon, and 2 plus years is a long time to feel this way. *hugs*

 

Here is a thought, you might want to forgive yourself. As Oprah says, "when you know better, you do better." Forgive yourself and perhaps you can let the guilt and shame go.

 

Karma

[MrAnxious]

Thank you Karma and Fizz for your replys. So I am going through a window where my sleep is effected big time. I am waking up like every 10 mins so I am not getting into that rem stage at all. The only think that has worked to get a good sleep is a over the counter gravol. It will put me out for a good 7 hours if not i just can't sleep and I just started my school placement at the nursing home and feel so ill just think about this 5 week placement that I have to do, the anxiety is back as a huge wave and Im just like what hell am i doing. I feel like i am losing grip on everything, it's 8 months out and I really thought I was getting better, now i can't hardly look at people and talk to them or ill avoid them when they talk its just like i dont take anything in cause the anxiety. I just don't know what to do. Can somebody please calm me or something, I also had a few cigarettes after quiting over a year ago.

[flower]

hang in there Mr A..Patience is difficult when anxiety is doing it's thing..Is Buspar the only drug you are on?

[strawberry17]

Sorry to hear this Mr Anxious, it's bloody hard and horrible isn't it? I know I've just been through something like this as well. I bet you're actually functioning a lot better to the outside world than you think you are. Hang in there, the only way to go is up and better again, this is just a horrible stage on the journey.

[MrAnxious]

hang in there Mr A..Patience is difficult when anxiety is doing it's thing..Is Buspar the only drug you are on?

 

 

 

Yes it is , only on 20mg which is a relatively low dose for it, i don't feel much from the buspar.

[MrAnxious]

Sorry to hear this Mr Anxious, it's bloody hard and horrible isn't it? I know I've just been through something like this as well. I bet you're actually functioning a lot better to the outside world than you think you are. Hang in there, the only way to go is up and better again, this is just a horrible stage on the journey.

 

 

Yes this wave has just destroyed me , especially with my placement starting tommorow its all just overwhelming, but i have to take it min by min and make it through and get my certificate i am gonna need a lot of support from you amazing people , so keep a eye on me please its only 5 weeks ! I can do this i hope i can do this !!!!!!!

[strawberry17]

You can do this!! We'll cheer you on, report back on how it's going, you might find that your wave lifts as well and you'll be fine, if not just as you said, minute by minute.

[MrAnxious]

Okay Update : After 3 weeks of waking up all the time at 3-4am and having to go to school placement (day)3 for 5am. My brain hurt and I felt like a Zombie, very spaced out, my body aches, my words are slow and every sypmtom when I went off this drug has come back. So I went to a walk in clinic where he asked if "anybody hears me sleep at night. Wierd, cause before I left my dad said " You sleep very loud" i could hear you from upstairs. I told the doc that and he prescribed me Imovane which is a sleeping pill. Let's just say it works and puts you out for a full 8 hours but I feel groggy the rest of the day. But I have to sleep. It's terrible because right now is my school placement, and it's in a very busy position. So let's just say their is alot of stress on myself for the next month. I just have to get through it and then I will have my certificate that has took me 6 months to get. It's just so hard when I feel like this. So long story short.....

 

I went to my actual doctor yesterday and told her how I have been feeling, timid,spacey,body aching, frightened, slow responses when somebody talks to me, have to try hard to find the words to say back, and all this is creating anxiety because of the way I feel. Like I feel very stupid and slow and don't want to respond like im lazy too.

 

She says everything you told me is a "depressed brain" and my response was " well i think this is withdrawal from the Effexor ,it's been 7 months since being off a anti depressant" She says I should try " Trazadone" and I am like that's a antidepressant and I am not taking one of those again. I asked her if my brain will heal over time and she said yes " i promise you will get better" but just watch out on those sleeping pills, i can get people off trazadone just the sleeping pills i cannot. Sooooo like I am so confused now on what to do.....................................................................................

 

Now I am gonna feel like my brain is depressed when it's really probably w/d. I don't know what to think anymore, could my buspar being slowly down the Effexor w/d and making me feel like this, im scared to go down on the Buspar atm cause I already feel terrible.

 

I really need some indepth help and support here because I am at a point where I don't feel like my brain is just gonna switch into normal functioning mode, I have all these school responsibilities and I am back in the public eye, it's hard when new people are talking to me and my only response more or less is yes or no or just sound like a stupid stoner.

 

 

HELP PLEASE EVERYONE! Give me some imput. Mr. A is at a standstill...Effexor has ruined me

 

Are these waves more intense because of the stress that is put on me right now ? will they even let up because of the position i am in, it's 40 hours a week for the next 4 weeks.

 

 

[MrAnxious]

Okay Update : After 3 weeks of waking up all the time at 3-4am and having to go to school placement (day)3 for 5am. My brain hurt and I felt like a Zombie, very spaced out, my body aches, my words are slow and every sypmtom when I went off this drug has come back. So I went to a walk in clinic where he asked if "anybody hears me sleep at night. Wierd, cause before I left my dad said " You sleep very loud" i could hear you from upstairs. I told the doc that and he prescribed me Imovane which is a sleeping pill. Let's just say it works and puts you out for a full 8 hours but I feel groggy the rest of the day. But I have to sleep. It's terrible because right now is my school placement, and it's in a very busy position. So let's just say their is alot of stress on myself for the next month. I just have to get through it and then I will have my certificate that has took me 6 months to get. It's just so hard when I feel like this. So long story short.....

 

I went to my actual doctor yesterday and told her how I have been feeling, timid,spacey,body aching, frightened, slow responses when somebody talks to me, have to try hard to find the words to say back, and all this is creating anxiety because of the way I feel. Like I feel very stupid and slow and don't want to respond like im lazy too.

 

She says everything you told me is a "depressed brain" and my response was " well i think this is withdrawal from the Effexor ,it's been 7 months since being off a anti depressant" She says I should try " Trazadone" and I am like that's a antidepressant and I am not taking one of those again. I asked her if my brain will heal over time and she said yes " i promise you will get better" but just watch out on those sleeping pills, i can get people off trazadone just the sleeping pills i cannot. Sooooo like I am so confused now on what to do.....................................................................................

 

Now I am gonna feel like my brain is depressed when it's really probably w/d. I don't know what to think anymore, could my buspar being slowly down the Effexor w/d and making me feel like this, im scared to go down on the Buspar atm cause I already feel terrible.

 

I really need some indepth help and support here because I am at a point where I don't feel like my brain is just gonna switch into normal functioning mode, I have all these school responsibilities and I am back in the public eye, it's hard when new people are talking to me and my only response more or less is yes or no or just sound like a stupid stoner.

 

 

HELP PLEASE EVERYONE! Give me some imput. Mr. A is at a standstill...Effexor has ruined me

 

Are these waves more intense because of the stress that is put on me right now ? will they even let up because of the position i am in, it's 40 hours a week for the next 4 weeks.

 

 

 

Please reply to above "

[Petunia]

Hi Mr Anxious,

I'm new here, only registered two days ago, but I found this site a couple of weeks ago and have been following your thread. I'm sorry you have been going through such a difficult time, I relate to so much of the way you have been feeling over these last months.

It amazes me how you have managed to do a course along with what you have been going through with withdrawal, and now you are taking on a new job placement, that's stressful for someone not going through withdrawal.

 

I'm sure other more experienced members will be along to offer more support, but my opinion is, don't change anything with your current BuSpar medication, changing it in any way will just add more stress as your body tries to adapt to another change. I also don't think you should take drugs to help you sleep, for people not in withdrawal, they can cause problems the next day and with dependance, and in our case, with our damaged nervous systems, they can cause worse problems.

 

I know its difficult, you have to get some sleep because you have to go to work the next day. Probably worrying about how you are going to deal with the next day is increasing anxiety and keeping you awake.

 

When I have problems getting to sleep I drink some warm milk, have a light snack and listen to sleep hypnosis audio through headphones which I can sleep in. I download it from youtube, maybe something like that would help.

 

Also, don't focus on having to get through 40 hours a week for the next 4 weeks, concentrate on what is right in front of you, minute by minute, day by day, just do what needs to be done right now.

 

I think the new stress of this job placement is a big factor in your current wave and once you feel more comfortable in your work situation, your recovery will continue to progress, but for now, you just need to get through this added stress one day at a time.

 

Keep us updated and I hope you feel better soon.

 

Petu

[MrAnxious]

Hi Mr Anxious,

I'm new here, only registered two days ago, but I found this site a couple of weeks ago and have been following your thread. I'm sorry you have been going through such a difficult time, I relate to so much of the way you have been feeling over these last months.

It amazes me how you have managed to do a course along with what you have been going through with withdrawal, and now you are taking on a new job placement, that's stressful for someone not going through withdrawal.

 

I'm sure other more experienced members will be along to offer more support, but my opinion is, don't change anything with your current BuSpar medication, changing it in any way will just add more stress as your body tries to adapt to another change. I also don't think you should take drugs to help you sleep, for people not in withdrawal, they can cause problems the next day and with dependance, and in our case, with our damaged nervous systems, they can cause worse problems.

 

I know its difficult, you have to get some sleep because you have to go to work the next day. Probably worrying about how you are going to deal with the next day is increasing anxiety and keeping you awake.

 

When I have problems getting to sleep I drink some warm milk, have a light snack and listen to sleep hypnosis audio through headphones which I can sleep in. I download it from youtube, maybe something like that would help.

 

Also, don't focus on having to get through 40 hours a week for the next 4 weeks, concentrate on what is right in front of you, minute by minute, day by day, just do what needs to be done right now.

 

I think the new stress of this job placement is a big factor in your current wave and once you feel more comfortable in your work situation, your recovery will continue to progress, but for now, you just need to get through this added stress one day at a time.

 

Keep us updated and I hope you feel better soon.

 

Petu

 

I just want to say thank you very much for that reply. I needed this just before I went to bed, and could use your support and talk to you more often. If you want to inbox me and add me and send me a private msg we could connect more regulary on fb if u have it etc.

 

What you said just calmed me, id write more but i have to sleep. I am battling but with people like you , every bit helps.

 

 

Nice to meet you Petu and hope we can chat more.

[Petunia]

Hi Mr A

I'm happy that my reply helped you, I know how it is, sometimes just having contact with another human being who actually gets it, can be calming. I hope you got some sleep. I'm on the other side of the world from you, so its morning for me. Since getting a few replies to my into thread, I have more confidence in what I'm supposed to be doing now. This site is a real blessing and probably one of the few places in the world where accurate information about anti-depressant withdrawal can be found.

 

Something I noticed while reading your thread was that every time you see a medical 'professional' its like you start to doubt what you have learned here, and begin to believe that these possibly well intentioned doctors can actually help you, when in fact they know very little and probably nothing regarding the truth about how the brain works, including the effects of anti-depressants.

 

I understand though, because we are all brainwashed to believe that these trained, authority figures in our society have all the answers, when often they don't, they are just trying to do their job and earn a living.

 

Compared to some people, your life circumstances are good, regarding housing, responsibilities and social support. There's no reason why you wont get better, you're doing fine.

 

You will recover if you listen to the advice here, especially from the more experienced people, have patience, and take life one day at a time.

 

Petu.

[strawberry17]

Hi Mr Anxious

How's it going, Petu gave some excellent advice about minute by minute. I recognise the anxiety about sleeping and the need to get a good night's sleep before a busy day, something I suffer with. Occasional use of a sleeping pill is ok but be very very careful, it can be a slippery slope and can quickly turn into another drug problem. Lately, I've just decided to accept if I have a bad night, I have a bad night and I can still function the next day, ok it's crap but I always then sleep like a log the next night.

You are doing incredibly well you know, I know you don't feel like you are, but you're achieving so much lately with your course and now the placement you're on.

strawberry

[MrAnxious]

Hi Mr Anxious

How's it going, Petu gave some excellent advice about minute by minute. I recognise the anxiety about sleeping and the need to get a good night's sleep before a busy day, something I suffer with. Occasional use of a sleeping pill is ok but be very very careful, it can be a slippery slope and can quickly turn into another drug problem. Lately, I've just decided to accept if I have a bad night, I have a bad night and I can still function the next day, ok it's crap but I always then sleep like a log the next night.

You are doing incredibly well you know, I know you don't feel like you are, but you're achieving so much lately with your course and now the placement you're on.

strawberry

 

I was actually waiting for your response and Petu calmed me down alot yesterday. After reading what you wrote, After taking (1) 7.5 of immovane(zyclopin) for two nights(1) each night, i was knocked out and somewhat rested after 3-4 weeks of sleepless nights. It worked until last night, i tried taking half of that pill, felt wired all night and never slept a wink, i had to call into my placement and my teacher( she already knows my situation) and tell them to put me on my day off next week due to no sleep. After reading about this sleeping pill i am very scared of what to do now, am i already addicted from 3 pills , cause i took the other half this morning and still haven't slept. I will have to take 1 full one tonight so i can get rest for tommorow, but now it feels like a cycle and i don't know what route to go because i need sleep in this placement its fast paced. Ahhhhhh it's like the insomnia I had for the first 4 months off the Effexor. I was crying this morning because I have 4 weeks left of placement and have come so far i have to finish it. Thinking ill take 1 pill before bed until this long weekend coming up and then don't take it for a night, will probably be up all night but will give a space inbetween.

 

I really need some sound advice here , you guys are all i got. I just feel like I was doing alright and you have told me that too, but now I am sliding.

 

What do I do? I've read the addiction to these pills and people that can't get off but that was mostly after months of abuse, i just wanna take these until im through this course, gonna have to taper off i think and its gonna push back my w/d, so many anxieties now, i can really see why people cave and go back to anti deps. BUT I NEVER WILL !

[Karma]

Hey Mr. A.

 

Have you tried taking melatonin or phosphatidylserine to help with your sleep? I recently made some adjustments in other medications I take and started waking up early and then I couldn't get to sleep at night. It felt to me like excessive cortisol coursing through my body (it is something I've learned to recognize). I tried 1.5 mg melatonin (which has helped in the past) and it didn't help. The next night I took 600 mg phosphatidylserine, fell asleep easy and slept through until morning.

 

The next day I made another adjustment in my other medication and slipped right back into a normal sleep pattern.

 

I could have tried more melatonin, up to 3 mg is safe, but I've learned that you don't want to take too much because it can leave you groggy in the morning if you take too much. I don't seem to experience that with phosphatidylserine.

 

In my experience I have used both phosphatidylserine and melatonin and they have worked for me and they don't cause dependence like the sleeping pills. If it were me I would look into some of the other options available and save the sleep pills as a last resort. Look through the Symptoms and self-care section http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/ for some suggestions on what to do about insomnia.

 

You will make it through this.

 

FWIW - I think this is the effexor withdrawal that has been masked by the buspar - you are in a more anxious circumstance now and I think it is exposing the withdrawal. I congratulate you for saying 'no' to more antidepressants!

 

Karma

[MrAnxious]

Hey Mr. A.

 

Have you tried taking melatonin or phosphatidylserine to help with your sleep? I recently made some adjustments in other medications I take and started waking up early and then I couldn't get to sleep at night. It felt to me like excessive cortisol coursing through my body (it is something I've learned to recognize). I tried 1.5 mg melatonin (which has helped in the past) and it didn't help. The next night I took 600 mg phosphatidylserine, fell asleep easy and slept through until morning.

 

The next day I made another adjustment in my other medication and slipped right back into a normal sleep pattern.

 

I could have tried more melatonin, up to 3 mg is safe, but I've learned that you don't want to take too much because it can leave you groggy in the morning if you take too much. I don't seem to experience that with phosphatidylserine.

 

In my experience I have used both phosphatidylserine and melatonin and they have worked for me and they don't cause dependence like the sleeping pills. If it were me I would look into some of the other options available and save the sleep pills as a last resort. Look through the Symptoms and self-care section http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/8-symptoms-and-self-care/ for some suggestions on what to do about insomnia.

 

You will make it through this.

 

FWIW - I think this is the effexor withdrawal that has been masked by the buspar - you are in a more anxious circumstance now and I think it is exposing the withdrawal. I congratulate you for saying 'no' to more antidepressants!

 

Karma

 

Karma I can always rely on your timely advice , just like strawberry and others. I have been down the melatonin route and it really had no affect on me (at the time) and I believe it made me more anxious. But now I am going to look into this phosphatidylserine and try this out. You are so right about the withdrawal peeking out, it's probably from all the added stress that I have on myself right now and the Buspar is probably becoming uneffective by masking up the Effexor withdrawal. I still have a long way too go but I am taking it minute by minute, as I am really struggling with all of this right now. I really appreciate your support and will get through this huge wave. It's amazing how much we can learn from others through this fight. I am right in the thick of things. Figured out from another site PP that my last pill of trying Effexor was Oct 9th, so right now it is the 7 month mark yesterday. I tell you if it wasn't for the insomnia I'd probably be whizzing by pretty good, right now I am in the (my brain won't shut off at night mode) I know my body is exhausted and so is my mind, but the switch won't flick off.

 

 

Love all you guys and I can't thank you enough, this site has saved my life, literally.

 

 

" Never give up fighting , because the fight is what makes us who we are"

 

Mr. A

[MrAnxious]

Alright a few questions

 

1. Does anyone feel like their body is like a giant heart beat at times, like your just sitting there and all of a sudden ur body starts beatings all over and eventually goes down but stays awhile even like 3 to 4 hours, I've been getting this alot in the past few months it's lessened a bit but still is happening. Is this my nervous system being damaged and trying to repair or is it lots of cortisol soaring through my body...im confused.

 

2. Why do I keep dwelling hard on the past ? It's like I am focused on things that were years ago that I am not proud of but that's the past right, is this because of the withdrawl. Does anyone get the feeling like they don't know what is normal anymore because of the heightened state of anxiety and sleeplessness ? This is how I am feeling. It could be a huge wave, but also because I am on Buspar, have lorazepam for emergency's and i don't take them often(1) a week...and now sleeping pill. I know these are still meds but honestly with everything going on I need to be sleeping for the next 3 weeks it's vital.

 

I almost feel like I am going backwards again but that's the devil of withdrawl im thinking as alot of it is still physical and the anxiety is still so intense.

 

3. When I am struggling cognitively still and finding it hard to have a flowing conversation i get very hard on myself, does this stuff last for a long time, it's almost like a dull buzz in my head and i just don't care to have a convo but also my mind doesn't seem all there at times. It's so disapointing at times.

 

I need some support as so much is going on, I am 7 months now off a Anti-depressant that I was on for over 5 years.

 

 

 

Thank you for taking time to read, starting to panic a bit. I'm trying so hard to stay with it.

[MrAnxious]

Alright a few questions

 

1. Does anyone feel like their body is like a giant heart beat at times, like your just sitting there and all of a sudden ur body starts beatings all over and eventually goes down but stays awhile even like 3 to 4 hours, I've been getting this alot in the past few months it's lessened a bit but still is happening. Is this my nervous system being damaged and trying to repair or is it lots of cortisol soaring through my body...im confused.

 

2. Why do I keep dwelling hard on the past ? It's like I am focused on things that were years ago that I am not proud of but that's the past right, is this because of the withdrawl. Does anyone get the feeling like they don't know what is normal anymore because of the heightened state of anxiety and sleeplessness ? This is how I am feeling. It could be a huge wave, but also because I am on Buspar, have lorazepam for emergency's and i don't take them often(1) a week...and now sleeping pill. I know these are still meds but honestly with everything going on I need to be sleeping for the next 3 weeks it's vital.

 

I almost feel like I am going backwards again but that's the devil of withdrawl im thinking as alot of it is still physical and the anxiety is still so intense.

 

3. I am struggling cognitively still and finding it hard to have a flowing conversation i get very hard on myself, does this stuff last for a long time, it's almost like a dull buzz in my head and i just don't care to have a convo but also my mind doesn't seem all there at times. It's so disapointing at times.

 

I need some support as so much is going on, I am 7 months now off a Anti-depressant that I was on for over 5 years.

 

 

 

Thank you for taking time to read, starting to panic a bit. I'm trying so hard to stay with it.

 

 

PLEASE READ ABOVE..

 

I am going through some tough times here. Felt very depressed today.

[Rhiannon]

Alright a few questions

 

1. Does anyone feel like their body is like a giant heart beat at times, like your just sitting there and all of a sudden ur body starts beatings all over and eventually goes down but stays awhile even like 3 to 4 hours, I've been getting this alot in the past few months it's lessened a bit but still is happening. Is this my nervous system being damaged and trying to repair or is it lots of cortisol soaring through my body...im confused.

 

2. Why do I keep dwelling hard on the past ? It's like I am focused on things that were years ago that I am not proud of but that's the past right, is this because of the withdrawl. Does anyone get the feeling like they don't know what is normal anymore because of the heightened state of anxiety and sleeplessness ? This is how I am feeling. It could be a huge wave, but also because I am on Buspar, have lorazepam for emergency's and i don't take them often(1) a week...and now sleeping pill. I know these are still meds but honestly with everything going on I need to be sleeping for the next 3 weeks it's vital.

 

I almost feel like I am going backwards again but that's the devil of withdrawl im thinking as alot of it is still physical and the anxiety is still so intense.

 

3. When I am struggling cognitively still and finding it hard to have a flowing conversation i get very hard on myself, does this stuff last for a long time, it's almost like a dull buzz in my head and i just don't care to have a convo but also my mind doesn't seem all there at times. It's so disapointing at times.

 

I need some support as so much is going on, I am 7 months now off a Anti-depressant that I was on for over 5 years.

 

 

 

Thank you for taking time to read, starting to panic a bit. I'm trying so hard to stay with it.

 

I have experienced everything you describe at some time or another in my withdrawal. I know it's hard to remember, because the anxiety just keeps making us forget, but this is just the process, and you're going to get through it, one step in front of another. Just keep hanging in there. You're not broken, you will get through this and you will feel better. You will survive.