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Anhedonia, apathy, demotivation, emotional numbness


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#253 Newbeginning

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Posted 26 March 2016 - 03:14 PM

Do any of you with anhedonia have memory issues? i dont just mean crappy short term memory (I have that too, I can say something to someone and when they tell me later I have no recollection, or put something on my calendar and have no memory of doing so)..but I guess its like...memory "cues" they dont work. And the result is a lack of emotional continuity. For example...each season, I used to get memories of the previous years season, so when, say it was fall, i would remember the previous fall and some of the emotions or feelings that came with it, like the good smell of burning leaves, or the feeling of a cozy fire, memories of emotions i guess you could say. But in this state, fall arrives, and I obviously recognize the fact that this is not my first fall...however, there are no automatic memory cues that lead to any positive emotion?sense?feeling. Its like my mind simply says "Oh, my eyes and ears tell me its fall again, I suppose that means it will get colder now" and thats it. No "feeling". Yet when the anhedonia takes a break (and the breaks are often very short, flickers, even, moments, maybe hours) its a very different story. My mind automatically retrieves feelings, triggered by memories, nostaligia, ect. But the unnerving part of it is that when this happens, it is memories and emotions and so on, from 2009 and prior. Its like during wd, my brain has not packaged memories properly. Its not like I have a blank from 2009 to now...but its a very different thing. Its not just that Ive felt horrible in wd all these years so there simply arent very many positive experiences to draw on...its a very definitive void of emotional "pictures" to draw from. I wish I could articulate it better, but its like I slipped from a colour movie into a black and white set of 2 dimensional drawings, still, static pictures, rather than a fluid, vibrant world. It permeates everything from eating, smelling, touch, libido, music, movies, books, art work, nature...when you really think about it...emotion permeates every single experience we have, positive, negative, or neutral, they are all emotions. Anyway not sure if this makes sense. Just nice to share it with fellow sufferers. I often complain about my creative pursuits dying off but that because its the most easily explainable part about it...unfortunately, when recently discussing with a family memeber, the consensus was that I must really miss painting and the obvious solution was to just do it again. *sigh*. Or people just assume you are depressed. Not so...depression includes anhedonia but anhedonia does not necessarily include depression in my experience. I just want to engage so badly, I miss it so much, even after all this time, you would think we would forget it was ever any different but the flickers of normality  tell us otherwise. I so miss "being" alive in all its fullness, rather than 'acting" alive. Its exhausting. I feel like Im breathing recycled air and haven't been outside to take a full breath of fresh beautiful air in years...

 

I have not experienced that precisely (or maybe I'm just less aware). However, it makes sense that if we don't feel pleasure/joy with the same intensity, we might also have difficulty attaching emotion to memories or cues that used to trigger emotion prior to this.

 

It also makes sense that if 2009 is when you started having muffled emotions, then you won't have memories that are emotionally charged during that period.

 

It all makes sense logically speaking, but not "emotionally" (no pun intended). I personally struggle more with motivation than emotion, but I sure don't feel joy to the same intensity I did in the past.

 

The uglier part is that lately the numbness is not acting on my negative emotions as much as it used to. I'm feeling loss and the anticipation of it regularly---but don't have the capacity for joy and hope that is part of normal emotional range, so it's harder to cope with the feelings of loss/pessimism/hopelessness.

 

The anhedonia is the worst symptom for me because it deprives me of my will to fight back all the other symptoms. I still have some of that will left and grab unto it for life to keep going---but it sure is much more difficult to fight when life has lost most of its meaning...

 

Big hugs dear :)


  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivinganti...313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression

    March 27/2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues


#254 aberdeen

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Posted 29 March 2016 - 05:37 AM

"The uglier part is that lately the numbness is not acting on my negative emotions as much as it used to. I'm feeling loss and the anticipation of it regularly---but don't have the capacity for joy and hope that is part of normal emotional range, so it's harder to cope with the feelings of loss/pessimism/hopelessness."

 

I found that to be the same once my paxil dose got low enough. I could easily feel all the negative emotions, but not the positive ones, whereas when i was on the full dose i felt nothing in any direction, positive or negative. For you this could be a good sign, that the effects of the med are losing their grip. Its a step towards healing, however slow it feels.

As for motivation issues... I guess i link motivation with "excitement" and "anticipation" and call those emotions, but it is very hard for me to get interested in anything, and besides the basics, like caring for the kids and going to work and remembering to shower and take care of myself, there is zero desire to tackle anything else. I miss that part of myself, and I think its slowly slowly returning, but I'm more than ready for it to come back.

Hugs to you too, NB!!


2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16


#255 reachingforthestars

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Posted 20 August 2016 - 01:42 AM

I would love to read a success story where someone has gotten his/hers emotions back after reinstatement induced anhedonia.

Please, share if you know any?  :)


Citalopram 40mg from 2003-2015

Jan 2015 started tapering first dropped to 35mgFeb 30mg, March 25mgApril 20mg, May 17,5mg, June 15mgJuly 12,5mg, Aug 12,5mg,

Sep 0mg for 5 days because of stomac flu and after I raised to 7,5mg. All the symptoms of acute WD shaking, diarrhea, vomiting, barely could walk ect. Still didn't realize that it wasn't only stomac flu but I was also going through WD.

Oct 2,5mg and crashed again badly and quickly raised to 4mg. It was then when I knew my symptoms were due to WD.

Then in November after a month holding on 4mg raised to 5mg due to muscle weakness and had a VERY BAD reaction to reinstatement: akathisia(lasted for one or two weeks), insomnia, anhedonia... Drop quicly back to 4mg, Dec 3mg

Jan 2016 2,6mg( in the middle of Jan after I had been on 2,6mg for a week I tried to updose to 2,8mg and immediately had bad reaction to it: akathisia for a day, andehonia got worse. The next day dropped back to 2,6mg), Feb 2,4mg( a new symptom PGAD lasted 24/7 for 2 months after that on and off), March 2,4mg, April 2,3mg, May 2,2mg, June 2,1mg, July 2,0mg( Pgad almost nonexisting, sleeping pretty good, still some anhedonia but there has been a lot of gradual progress), Aug 1,97mg-1,89mg, Sep 1,88mg-1,49mg, Oct 1,48mg- 1,70mg,

Nov 0,65mg- current dose 0,5mg

 


#256 Newbeginning

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Posted 20 August 2016 - 08:32 PM

I would love to read a success story where someone has gotten his/hers emotions back after reinstatement induced anhedonia.

Please, share if you know any?   :)

 

I've had a big window that lasted like 2 months last summer. I've also had an improvement of 30-40% in my energy/motivation level in the last 6 months or so. This was in great part a result of changing my diet to healthier foods and pushing myself a LOT to do things that were good for me, no matter how I felt.

 

Currently looking into my genetics to find supplements and foods that can help my body heal faster.

 

So recovery is possible but it takes a lot of time (I only noticed it in year 3) and a lot of work in shifting to a healthier lifestyle that facilitates the body's own healing process (exercise and diet are key, but also staying engaged with life because it literally rewires the brain).

 

Hugs :)


  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivinganti...313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression

    March 27/2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues


#257 MySelfDevelpment

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Posted 22 August 2016 - 01:57 PM

I saw other threads like this but they were all outdated. This symptom is the main reason I am tapering off Lexapro. I am unbelievably numb. I feel nothing. Its getting to the point where I am being cold and blunt to the people I interact with. I have no sympathy and I am hurting peoples feelings and that is not okay. Thats not me, I was always a person to put others feelings first. I dont want to be this person, this cold, emotionless robot. Can someone please help? How do I feel again? 


"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans  to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

                                                                                                    Jeremiah 29:11                                                                           

 

​Past medications

  • Zoloft (1 year)
  • Prozac (1 month)

Current medication (tapering off)

Lexapro (9 months)

 

 


#258 reachingforthestars

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Posted 22 August 2016 - 10:00 PM

Yes, it would give hope if someone could tell that she/he has gotten his/hers ability to feel strong emotions back after antidepressants induced andehonia.

 

Hello, success stories needed! Anyone? :)


Citalopram 40mg from 2003-2015

Jan 2015 started tapering first dropped to 35mgFeb 30mg, March 25mgApril 20mg, May 17,5mg, June 15mgJuly 12,5mg, Aug 12,5mg,

Sep 0mg for 5 days because of stomac flu and after I raised to 7,5mg. All the symptoms of acute WD shaking, diarrhea, vomiting, barely could walk ect. Still didn't realize that it wasn't only stomac flu but I was also going through WD.

Oct 2,5mg and crashed again badly and quickly raised to 4mg. It was then when I knew my symptoms were due to WD.

Then in November after a month holding on 4mg raised to 5mg due to muscle weakness and had a VERY BAD reaction to reinstatement: akathisia(lasted for one or two weeks), insomnia, anhedonia... Drop quicly back to 4mg, Dec 3mg

Jan 2016 2,6mg( in the middle of Jan after I had been on 2,6mg for a week I tried to updose to 2,8mg and immediately had bad reaction to it: akathisia for a day, andehonia got worse. The next day dropped back to 2,6mg), Feb 2,4mg( a new symptom PGAD lasted 24/7 for 2 months after that on and off), March 2,4mg, April 2,3mg, May 2,2mg, June 2,1mg, July 2,0mg( Pgad almost nonexisting, sleeping pretty good, still some anhedonia but there has been a lot of gradual progress), Aug 1,97mg-1,89mg, Sep 1,88mg-1,49mg, Oct 1,48mg- 1,70mg,

Nov 0,65mg- current dose 0,5mg

 


#259 brassmonkey

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Posted 23 August 2016 - 10:42 AM

Hi MySelf and Reaching (love both your screen names) -- Yes the feeling come back, stronger then ever.  A few years ago I had severe anhedonia, I felt nothing for anything.  Over the course of my taper I have seen this improve.  Slowly at first then accelerating until today I'm feeling the full spectrum of emotions most of the time.  Read through my intro thread and you can get more detailed information:

 

http://survivinganti...t-myself/page-1

 

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mg it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking


#260 Newbeginning

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Posted 23 August 2016 - 12:12 PM

Hi MySelf and Reaching (love both your screen names) -- Yes the feeling come back, stronger then ever.  A few years ago I had severe anhedonia, I felt nothing for anything.  Over the course of my taper I have seen this improve.  Slowly at first then accelerating until today I'm feeling the full spectrum of emotions most of the time.  Read through my intro thread and you can get more detailed information:

 

http://survivinganti...t-myself/page-1

 

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Thanks for sharing BrassMonkey!

 

Did your energy and motivation/apathy improve too? How far into the taper did you notice considerable improvement? I'm on year 3 tapering. Down to low doses (7mg Effexor and 7mg Prozac). I've seen some improvement on year 3, but still quite impaired. Brain is not as sharp as it used to be, still fatigued easily, still struggling with motivation (need lots of pushing).


  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivinganti...313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression

    March 27/2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues


#261 wareagle82

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Posted 23 August 2016 - 01:13 PM

Just my two cents here, as I am only a couple of months into my Zoloft taper.  I am feeling much more motivation after years of numbness.  I am coming up with new and creative ideas at work, which had totally stopped on Z. 

 

I have a better outlook on life in general now than whilst on Z, more joy, more fun, looking forward to tomorrow kinda stuff.  I was very dark and dreary on my full Z dose.  I was actually suicidal on it when I had never had those kind of thoughts prior to any SSRI.

 

I actually look forward to my taper continuing as I am hopeful that my life will be more joyous and emotional with less Z. 

 

I know the mods will say that I am still on a very effective dose of Z with high SERT occupancy.  So difficult taper days are coming.  But I really want to see how this plays out, for better (I hope) or worse. 

 

Everyone is different of course.  Prayers for all to receive a reprieve from the suffering of SSRIs and the dull, lifeless feeling that goes along with them.


Began Paxil for situational panic attacks in 2000. Then psych put me on Prozac to transition me to Lexapro in 2008. I forget the dosage of Paxil and Lexapro. Switched to100mg Sertraline since 2011.

 

75Mg taper began 06/21/2016. 67.5 mg taper began 07/10/2016. 61mg taper began 08/01/2016. 54mg taper began 08/24/2016. 48mg taper began 09/06/2016. 44mg taper began 09/20/2016. 40mg taper began 10/11/2016. 35mg began 10/25/2016. 25 mg began 11/15/2016.  20 mg began 12/03/2016.  12.5 mg began 12/22/2016.  DRUG FREE JANUARY 16, 2017!!

 

Began daily meditation 12/01/2016.  Very helpful!!

 

Prayer, always, and Acupuncture, as needed.<p>Isaiah 50:7 (NLT): Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be dismayed. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will triumph!


#262 Newbeginning

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Posted 23 August 2016 - 04:26 PM

Just my two cents here, as I am only a couple of months into my Zoloft taper.  I am feeling much more motivation after years of numbness.  I am coming up with new and creative ideas at work, which had totally stopped on Z. 

 

I have a better outlook on life in general now than whilst on Z, more joy, more fun, looking forward to tomorrow kinda stuff.  I was very dark and dreary on my full Z dose.  I was actually suicidal on it when I had never had those kind of thoughts prior to any SSRI.

 

I actually look forward to my taper continuing as I am hopeful that my life will be more joyous and emotional with less Z. 

 

I know the mods will say that I am still on a very effective dose of Z with high SERT occupancy.  So difficult taper days are coming.  But I really want to see how this plays out, for better (I hope) or worse. 

 

Everyone is different of course.  Prayers for all to receive a reprieve from the suffering of SSRIs and the dull, lifeless feeling that goes along with them.

 

This makes sense with my experience too. I believe if I had reduced my SSRI dose when I started feeling tired and unmotivated, the issue would have resolved immediately. Instead, incompetent/ignorant drs insisted it was residual depression and kept trying more meds.

 

Every new episode of depression, the SSRIs/SNRIs helped sedate the anxiety, but soon after the apathy/lethargy/fatigue started. Every time I stayed on the antidepressant at the same dose when I should have reduced dose and only taken it for a few months instead of a year.

 

It is not surprising then that when I was put on the max dose of Zoloft for 2 full years, the anhedonia got so bad that it has persisted even after I decreased my dose considerably. It went from a side effect to a lasting possibly reversible med-induced damage--because I stayed on it too long, for too high a dose, even though my body was showing signs that my brain had been changed for the worse (I needed a much higher dose this last time, which indicated some form of tolerance or negative brain adaptation to the drug...).


  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivinganti...313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression

    March 27/2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues


#263 MySelfDevelpment

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Posted 24 August 2016 - 08:52 AM

Hi MySelf and Reaching (love both your screen names) -- Yes the feeling come back, stronger then ever.  A few years ago I had severe anhedonia, I felt nothing for anything.  Over the course of my taper I have seen this improve.  Slowly at first then accelerating until today I'm feeling the full spectrum of emotions most of the time.  Read through my intro thread and you can get more detailed information:

 

http://survivinganti...t-myself/page-1

 

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Hi Brassmonkey! Thank you so much for telling us your personal experience and giving us some insight. Your story is inspiring and makes me feel a bit better. I will definitely read your intro to learn more about your experience. Thanks again! 


"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans  to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

                                                                                                    Jeremiah 29:11                                                                           

 

​Past medications

  • Zoloft (1 year)
  • Prozac (1 month)

Current medication (tapering off)

Lexapro (9 months)

 

 


#264 Henosis

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Posted 09 September 2016 - 06:56 PM

After reinstating 20mg of Paxil to start a long taper, I was hit with severe anhedonia and emotional numbness (which I only experienced at a much lower level when I was on the Paxil for a decade, despite higher doses). From the forums, it seems that anhedonia is common during reinstatement.

I experience brief windows of time when the dopamine pathways start functioning again and suddenly I'm able to enjoy the small pleasures of life like music, sunshine, socializing, etc. Of course this seems to be a transient phenomenon, and I'm soon back to the lobotomized zombie state. These short windows seems to occur more frequently after a drop in dosage.

What I'm wondering is what to expect, i.e is it possible the anhedonia will slowly lift even before I'm off the Paxil completely as the dosage drops? I've looked at the SERT occupancy charts as a function of dose, and obviously large changes occur as you get into the single digits.

I'm at 8mg now and I'm hoping that once I get to 2-3mg, I'll really start to awaken and feel alive again.

Does anyone have experience to share? Did things get better regarding the SSRI apathy/anhedonia at low dose or did you have to discontinue completely before feeling like that lifted?

Thanks!

Medication before problems: Took Paxil 60-100mg from 2003 to 2014 for OCD.
1) Last pill taken November 2014, horrendous withdrawal started six weeks later.

2) Re-instated successfully @ 20mg May 2015, but accompanied by severe anhedonia, loss of emotion, apathy, and fatigue

3) Switched to Prozac, Viibyrd, Zoloft, Nefazadone, Cymbalta, Nardil in attempt at abating WD symptoms while not re-introducing anhedonia. Each one either failed to relieve WD or brought back anhedonia (the serotonergic ones)

4) Re-stabilized on Paxil at 15mg

5) Tried augmenting Wellbutrin (only increased anxiety), Vyvanse/Adderall (works for anhedonia, but the crash is brutal) low-dose Zyprexa (bad rxn), low-dose abilify (no effect), cyproheptadine (precipitated withdrawal), mirtazapine (knocked me out), Tianpetine (no effect) in attempt at relieving anhedonia through boosting dopamine directly or indirectly through targeted serotonin receptor blockade)

6) Tapered down to 7.5mg as of October 2016. More energy, anhedonia/loss of emotions remains apart from short windows.

7) Attempted Nortriptaline to paxil trapper to boost motivation and reduce anhedonia (it acts like an NRI, with target serotonin blockade at the "bad" receptors)

8) Stopped Nortriptaline after increased anxiety, no effect on anhedonia, and increased withdrawal symptoms. Only positive was alleviating ADHD symptoms.

9) Now struggling with a simultaneous Libirum and Paxil WD/taper...

 


#265 aberdeen

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Posted 12 September 2016 - 08:01 PM

Hi! I am not fully healed from anhedonia yet...however, my experience has been very gradual. My anhedonia began during a period leading up to or perhaps *because of* a very intense poop-out. This crisis led to a rapid taper (basically a cold turkey in hindsight), a subsequent period of swapping different meds around to quell the chaos my CNS was in, and finally a slow 4+ year taper. I have now been off all meds for 3 months. Ive had anhedonia the entire time, with little windows here and there. I would say the anhedonia has improved much more this past year than any other period, and that since being off ive seen even more subtle improvements in motivation and the ability to read novels for example. Another thing is that from 20mg Paxil to 12mg or so, I had numbed emotions, so I didnt feel sadness, and was unable to cry. Also the anhedonia. The numbess/apathy faded away by the last 10mg, by then it was only positive emotions that were blunted but I could feel sad/angry and even cry again.

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16


#266 Newbeginning

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Posted 12 September 2016 - 08:46 PM

In my case, anhedonia was a side effect of the meds that got better at lower doses, but came back after reinstatement when I started my taper.

 

Then I got windows that also got worse after reinstatements.

 

I was hoping I would get relief at lower doses, but even at 7mg Effexor and 7mg Prozac I'm still struggling.

 

I actually saw more improvement in that area as a result of better nutrition (more veggies, healthy fats, less processed stuff and sugar). I also cut carbs some and increased protein and healthy fat intake. At the same time, I pushed myself to be more active even if I had 0 motivation. After months of that, I saw a 30% improvement that lasted about 3 months.

 

I've relapsed into anhedonia now while holding my dose. No reinstatement and no dosage reduction. I'm not sure what caused it. I think it might be the Boron I was taking, which might affect hormones. I'm stopping the Boron hoping it will help.

 

Aberdeen, I'm glad you feel better!!! I just hope it won't take 4 years+ for me to get out of this state. Especially since I have 2 drugs to drop. Sigh...


  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivinganti...313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression

    March 27/2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues


#267 Henosis

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Posted 08 October 2016 - 08:58 PM

Has ANYONE recovered from Anhedonia that was brought on by re-instatement, theoretically by tapering their SSRI/SNRI down to a dose where there dopamine system started functioning? (or augmenting with anthing)? Or did feelings, passions, and excitement only return after getting to ZERO or beyond (I know some people don't get anhedonia until after withdrawal which is an entirely different beast altogether). I never felt it strongly when I was on Paxil for ten years, but during withdrawal everything was pleasurable and emotional again. Re-instatement brought out a fierce this fierce anhedonic/apathetic/zombie state despite a much lower dose than I was taking for a decade. It seems I've tried almost everything (save for nortriptline as an adjunct to me paxil taper - yes, I know dangerous, but I'm desperate).

 

It's at the point that I actively consider quick tapering just to feel alive again, and deal with the WD effects and likely loss of employment because it is so maddening. Maybe move to a foreign country and volunteer for a year until my neurotransmitters recover.


Medication before problems: Took Paxil 60-100mg from 2003 to 2014 for OCD.
1) Last pill taken November 2014, horrendous withdrawal started six weeks later.

2) Re-instated successfully @ 20mg May 2015, but accompanied by severe anhedonia, loss of emotion, apathy, and fatigue

3) Switched to Prozac, Viibyrd, Zoloft, Nefazadone, Cymbalta, Nardil in attempt at abating WD symptoms while not re-introducing anhedonia. Each one either failed to relieve WD or brought back anhedonia (the serotonergic ones)

4) Re-stabilized on Paxil at 15mg

5) Tried augmenting Wellbutrin (only increased anxiety), Vyvanse/Adderall (works for anhedonia, but the crash is brutal) low-dose Zyprexa (bad rxn), low-dose abilify (no effect), cyproheptadine (precipitated withdrawal), mirtazapine (knocked me out), Tianpetine (no effect) in attempt at relieving anhedonia through boosting dopamine directly or indirectly through targeted serotonin receptor blockade)

6) Tapered down to 7.5mg as of October 2016. More energy, anhedonia/loss of emotions remains apart from short windows.

7) Attempted Nortriptaline to paxil trapper to boost motivation and reduce anhedonia (it acts like an NRI, with target serotonin blockade at the "bad" receptors)

8) Stopped Nortriptaline after increased anxiety, no effect on anhedonia, and increased withdrawal symptoms. Only positive was alleviating ADHD symptoms.

9) Now struggling with a simultaneous Libirum and Paxil WD/taper...

 


#268 AliG

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Posted 12 October 2016 - 06:09 AM

Henosis. What makes you think your anhedonia (emotional anesthesia) was brought on from the reinstatement and not a withdrawal  symptom from your many drug changes over the years ?

 

This symptom has been ongoing for me and I haven't reinstated. It's an effect I noticed whilst on the drugs and then it was greatly intensified in withdrawal.

 

Many have had this symptom for quite a while as you already know from reading here. I don't think anyone has the exact answers for this dilemma of whether it's a drug side effect, withdrawal symptom or reinstatement effect. I think it seems to be all of the above in varying degrees and depending on circumstances.

 

You said everything was pleasurable in withdrawal. How long did that last ? It is unclear from your signature.  For many of us  there is a " honeymoon "  period of withdrawal for a few months where everything seems great. Maybe that accounts for the discrepancy. 

 

The main thing is that this symptom lessens with time and isn't permanent. I have found it to be one of the last symptoms to go but never the less it's starting to recede and I know it will make it's final exit at some point in the future. Patience is hard but also necessary.

 

I hope you have some relief soon as I understand that it's very hard to live with on a daily basis. However, It does get better.


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#269 Henosis

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Posted 12 October 2016 - 02:58 PM

Once the withdrawal symptoms hit, they were accompanied by a complete remission of (minor) emotional anesthesia symptoms I had had while on Paxil... I was anxious, confused, had memory loss, etc but simultaneously I could cry again during sad movies, music sounded *amazing*, even sitting in the sunshine felt fantastic. This lasted roughly 3-4 months (until the day I reinstated) When I re-instated, most of the withdrawal symptoms improved, but the anhedonia/emotional anaesthesia came back hard. When I would switch meds and do a 3-4 day washout from Paxil, withdrawal symptoms would come back while anhedonia/emotional anesthesia disappeared.
Clearly, it's the SSRI being in my brain causing it, it's unrelated to depression or withdrawal. However, I've still yet to determine why it was made so much worse after re-instating than it ever was during my original ten years on Paxil.

All of this was noted before jumping around like crazy on meds, which in fact was expressly done to try to avoid both withdrawal and the anhedonia being caused by Paxil reinstatement.


Henosis. What makes you think your anhedonia (emotional anesthesia) was brought on from the reinstatement and not a withdrawal symptom from your many drug changes over the years ?

This symptom has been ongoing for me and I haven't reinstated. It's an effect I noticed whilst on the drugs and then it was greatly intensified in withdrawal.

Many have had this symptom for quite a while as you already know from reading here. I don't think anyone has the exact answers for this dilemma of whether it's a drug side effect, withdrawal symptom or reinstatement effect. I think it seems to be all of the above in varying degrees and depending on circumstances.

You said everything was pleasurable in withdrawal. How long did that last ? It is unclear from your signature. For many of us there is a " honeymoon " period of withdrawal for a few months where everything seems great. Maybe that accounts for the discrepancy.

The main thing is that this symptom lessens with time and isn't permanent. I have found it to be one of the last symptoms to go but never the less it's starting to recede and I know it will make it's final exit at some point in the future. Patience is hard but also necessary.

I hope you have some relief soon as I understand that it's very hard to live with on a daily basis. However, It does get better.


Medication before problems: Took Paxil 60-100mg from 2003 to 2014 for OCD.
1) Last pill taken November 2014, horrendous withdrawal started six weeks later.

2) Re-instated successfully @ 20mg May 2015, but accompanied by severe anhedonia, loss of emotion, apathy, and fatigue

3) Switched to Prozac, Viibyrd, Zoloft, Nefazadone, Cymbalta, Nardil in attempt at abating WD symptoms while not re-introducing anhedonia. Each one either failed to relieve WD or brought back anhedonia (the serotonergic ones)

4) Re-stabilized on Paxil at 15mg

5) Tried augmenting Wellbutrin (only increased anxiety), Vyvanse/Adderall (works for anhedonia, but the crash is brutal) low-dose Zyprexa (bad rxn), low-dose abilify (no effect), cyproheptadine (precipitated withdrawal), mirtazapine (knocked me out), Tianpetine (no effect) in attempt at relieving anhedonia through boosting dopamine directly or indirectly through targeted serotonin receptor blockade)

6) Tapered down to 7.5mg as of October 2016. More energy, anhedonia/loss of emotions remains apart from short windows.

7) Attempted Nortriptaline to paxil trapper to boost motivation and reduce anhedonia (it acts like an NRI, with target serotonin blockade at the "bad" receptors)

8) Stopped Nortriptaline after increased anxiety, no effect on anhedonia, and increased withdrawal symptoms. Only positive was alleviating ADHD symptoms.

9) Now struggling with a simultaneous Libirum and Paxil WD/taper...

 


#270 dalsaan

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Posted 12 October 2016 - 03:15 PM

I had anhedonia/emotional anaesthesia on drugs and in withdrawal.   I think we have to keep gently testing where we are at with these symptoms and given them opportunities to diminish.   I say this because I think we can get into a habit of low expectations and thus are not looking for change.  When changes occur slowly they can be easy to miss.   If we miss changes in our emotional capacities then we extend the effect of the drug/withdrawal.   

 

I remember one day something happened that made me feel happy and I was surprised by that but then when I looked back there were other clues that change was afoot.   Withdrawal is painful, tedious and drawn out.  It has very real negative effects that necessitate very real ways of being, knowing and doing that can themselves be habit forming.  Recovery means recovering from negative effects and then developing habits that reflect and support our expanding capacities.     We need to look for, identify and enact our abilities as much as we do our disabilities.

 

D


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.
Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.
Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.
Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.
Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).
Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

>My intro post is here - http://survivinganti...ic/2250-dalsaan

#271 Newbeginning

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Posted 12 October 2016 - 07:08 PM

Has ANYONE recovered from Anhedonia that was brought on by re-instatement, theoretically by tapering their SSRI/SNRI down to a dose where there dopamine system started functioning? (or augmenting with anthing)? Or did feelings, passions, and excitement only return after getting to ZERO or beyond (I know some people don't get anhedonia until after withdrawal which is an entirely different beast altogether). I never felt it strongly when I was on Paxil for ten years, but during withdrawal everything was pleasurable and emotional again. Re-instatement brought out a fierce this fierce anhedonic/apathetic/zombie state despite a much lower dose than I was taking for a decade. It seems I've tried almost everything (save for nortriptline as an adjunct to me paxil taper - yes, I know dangerous, but I'm desperate).

 

It's at the point that I actively consider quick tapering just to feel alive again, and deal with the WD effects and likely loss of employment because it is so maddening. Maybe move to a foreign country and volunteer for a year until my neurotransmitters recover.

 

I've had a similar experience: anhedonia while on meds; got worst when I was on a very high dose for 2 years. Before that I could semi-function. After that, I couldn't.

 

Off the meds anhedonia got better, but reinstatements brought it back. And it didn't necessarily go away as I tapered, even though I reached very low doses.

 

I've had windows though. Not necessarily after a cut. Sometimes after a cut; sometimes not. My most recent window was after updosing and stabilizing. I think what caused it was improved nutrition, and forcing myself to stay active and achieve small goals for months. But then anhedonia came back few months later, and with a vengeance. I had not changed dose at all.

 

This time around, small reinstatement improved it.

 

Sooo....it's all over the place.

 

My best guess is that it is a lasting side effect of long term med use. This means it won't necessarily go away off the med or at low doses. It will go away as the brain recovers.  But it may get worse with any stresses to your system (such as withdrawal or updosing), simply because your brain is already stressed (and anhedonia is a manifestation of that). It can also get worse after reinstatements because it is a side effect too. And yes, it doesn't matter how low the dose is. Once your system is adapted to a dose, anything above that can cause the med side effects. Just like a tiny decrease can affect our sensitized systems, so can tiny increases.

 

My windows tell me this "stress effect" is reversible, but it will be slow to reverse, and progress won't be linear or predictable. And it does respond to external stimulation/learning, so when I'm not so bad, I push myself to do healthy things regardless of how I feel. And it helps windows last longer.

 

There is hope, but I won't lie: its a long difficult journey.


  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivinganti...313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression

    March 27/2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues


#272 Henosis

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Posted 15 October 2016 - 05:02 PM

In my continuing quest to alleviate horrific anhedonia and apathy caused solely by Paxil re-Instatement, I tried 5mg Nortriptyline (which is 10x lower dose than normal)
Pros: Motivation/energy improved
Cons: Terrible anxiety and restlessness, and *increased* withdrawal symptoms (cognitive deficits, physical pain, mild depression)

Apparently, blocking even the "bad" serotonin receptors (5ht2) (which is what Nortryptaline and anti-psych meds do to alleviate SSRI-induced apathy/anhedonia) doesn't work for me or (possibly) anyone in a mixed reinstatement/withdrawal state.

Also reaffirmed I can't tolerate strongly noradrenergic drugs which are also used to help with anhedonia (Wellbutrin, Nortryptaline, Atomexetine, strong SNRIs)

All of this despite the fact that I can pound coffee and nicotine all day without anxiety.

.... Giving up on the panacea search for now after exhausting 99% of options based on recognized pharmacological principles.




Has ANYONE recovered from Anhedonia that was brought on by re-instatement, theoretically by tapering their SSRI/SNRI down to a dose where there dopamine system started functioning? (or augmenting with anthing)? Or did feelings, passions, and excitement only return after getting to ZERO or beyond (I know some people don't get anhedonia until after withdrawal which is an entirely different beast altogether). I never felt it strongly when I was on Paxil for ten years, but during withdrawal everything was pleasurable and emotional again. Re-instatement brought out a fierce this fierce anhedonic/apathetic/zombie state despite a much lower dose than I was taking for a decade. It seems I've tried almost everything (save for nortriptline as an adjunct to me paxil taper - yes, I know dangerous, but I'm desperate).

It's at the point that I actively consider quick tapering just to feel alive again, and deal with the WD effects and likely loss of employment because it is so maddening. Maybe move to a foreign country and volunteer for a year until my neurotransmitters recover.


I've had a similar experience: anhedonia while on meds; got worst when I was on a very high dose for 2 years. Before that I could semi-function. After that, I couldn't.

Off the meds anhedonia got better, but reinstatements brought it back. And it didn't necessarily go away as I tapered, even though I reached very low doses.

I've had windows though. Not necessarily after a cut. Sometimes after a cut; sometimes not. My most recent window was after updosing and stabilizing. I think what caused it was improved nutrition, and forcing myself to stay active and achieve small goals for months. But then anhedonia came back few months later, and with a vengeance. I had not changed dose at all.

This time around, small reinstatement improved it.

Sooo....it's all over the place.

My best guess is that it is a lasting side effect of long term med use. This means it won't necessarily go away off the med or at low doses. It will go away as the brain recovers. But it may get worse with any stresses to your system (such as withdrawal or updosing), simply because your brain is already stressed (and anhedonia is a manifestation of that). It can also get worse after reinstatements because it is a side effect too. And yes, it doesn't matter how low the dose is. Once your system is adapted to a dose, anything above that can cause the med side effects. Just like a tiny decrease can affect our sensitized systems, so can tiny increases.

My windows tell me this "stress effect" is reversible, but it will be slow to reverse, and progress won't be linear or predictable. And it does respond to external stimulation/learning, so when I'm not so bad, I push myself to do healthy things regardless of how I feel. And it helps windows last longer.

There is hope, but I won't lie: its a long difficult journey.

Medication before problems: Took Paxil 60-100mg from 2003 to 2014 for OCD.
1) Last pill taken November 2014, horrendous withdrawal started six weeks later.

2) Re-instated successfully @ 20mg May 2015, but accompanied by severe anhedonia, loss of emotion, apathy, and fatigue

3) Switched to Prozac, Viibyrd, Zoloft, Nefazadone, Cymbalta, Nardil in attempt at abating WD symptoms while not re-introducing anhedonia. Each one either failed to relieve WD or brought back anhedonia (the serotonergic ones)

4) Re-stabilized on Paxil at 15mg

5) Tried augmenting Wellbutrin (only increased anxiety), Vyvanse/Adderall (works for anhedonia, but the crash is brutal) low-dose Zyprexa (bad rxn), low-dose abilify (no effect), cyproheptadine (precipitated withdrawal), mirtazapine (knocked me out), Tianpetine (no effect) in attempt at relieving anhedonia through boosting dopamine directly or indirectly through targeted serotonin receptor blockade)

6) Tapered down to 7.5mg as of October 2016. More energy, anhedonia/loss of emotions remains apart from short windows.

7) Attempted Nortriptaline to paxil trapper to boost motivation and reduce anhedonia (it acts like an NRI, with target serotonin blockade at the "bad" receptors)

8) Stopped Nortriptaline after increased anxiety, no effect on anhedonia, and increased withdrawal symptoms. Only positive was alleviating ADHD symptoms.

9) Now struggling with a simultaneous Libirum and Paxil WD/taper...

 


#273 reachingforthestars

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Posted 15 October 2016 - 09:40 PM


Apparently, blocking even the "bad" serotonin receptors (5ht2) (which is what Nortryptaline and anti-psych meds do to alleviate SSRI-induced apathy/anhedonia) doesn't work for me or (possibly) anyone in a mixed reinstatement/withdrawal state.
 

 

 

How did you came up with this idea that SSRI after reinstatement blocks 5ht2 receptors? It should block 5ht1a receptors normally.


Citalopram 40mg from 2003-2015

Jan 2015 started tapering first dropped to 35mgFeb 30mg, March 25mgApril 20mg, May 17,5mg, June 15mgJuly 12,5mg, Aug 12,5mg,

Sep 0mg for 5 days because of stomac flu and after I raised to 7,5mg. All the symptoms of acute WD shaking, diarrhea, vomiting, barely could walk ect. Still didn't realize that it wasn't only stomac flu but I was also going through WD.

Oct 2,5mg and crashed again badly and quickly raised to 4mg. It was then when I knew my symptoms were due to WD.

Then in November after a month holding on 4mg raised to 5mg due to muscle weakness and had a VERY BAD reaction to reinstatement: akathisia(lasted for one or two weeks), insomnia, anhedonia... Drop quicly back to 4mg, Dec 3mg

Jan 2016 2,6mg( in the middle of Jan after I had been on 2,6mg for a week I tried to updose to 2,8mg and immediately had bad reaction to it: akathisia for a day, andehonia got worse. The next day dropped back to 2,6mg), Feb 2,4mg( a new symptom PGAD lasted 24/7 for 2 months after that on and off), March 2,4mg, April 2,3mg, May 2,2mg, June 2,1mg, July 2,0mg( Pgad almost nonexisting, sleeping pretty good, still some anhedonia but there has been a lot of gradual progress), Aug 1,97mg-1,89mg, Sep 1,88mg-1,49mg, Oct 1,48mg- 1,70mg,

Nov 0,65mg- current dose 0,5mg

 


#274 Junglechicken

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Posted 16 October 2016 - 01:34 AM

Since quitting my job 2 weeks ago, I definitely feel apathetic about life because:

* I am unable to hold down a job - the type I was doing pre-drugged. Not sure what I am going to do now as my career is ****. Wanted to do a PhD, but as I have been non-resident for a while I don't qualify for funding. This dream has to go on hold for 3 more yrs.
* I am unable to run marathons, and although I had started training for the 5k distance, that all stopped as I managed to injure my neck whilst seated at a funny angle??
* Obviously my health is up the creek now - there is always something strange up, oh and living with mental illness.
* Have found out that my entire life might as well have been phony due to my mother's NPD. In retrospect, everything my parents did was for show and to boast about non-existent success/wealth. All the while I was busting a gut working my butt off trying to build a career for myself, and living in **** as I couldn't afford anything else. My mother didn't even know what I did for a living.
* Am in my 40s and living like a student on a freakin camp bed, whilst half of my capital has been ear-marked to keep my parents hunk-dory for the "rest of their lifetimes". Phony freakin ****.

Seriously, I already know the answer to the question...."where did my life go so freakin wrong??".


Edited by ChessieCat, 23 October 2016 - 08:45 PM.
edited out obvious obscenities

<p>Feb 2014 -Cipralex/Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms disappeared over a few days. Have been on this dose ever since and am experiencing "windows" and "waves". Nov 15th 2016 Re-started Therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT. Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 4th Jan 2017. Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment starts - anti-Candida diet starts as diagnosis of Candida Related Complex (CRC). 24 March 2017 DETOX (3 weeks) started for anti-Candida to help "re-set" my gut. April 2017 "Genova Testing 3 day stool sampling" Comprehensive Analysis.  Gut Cleanse - 6 weeks.  Plan to re-start taper (liquid Cipralex/Escitalopram) when feel ready.


#275 Henosis

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Posted 16 October 2016 - 02:41 AM

SSRIs don't do the blocking of 5ht2, agents like most anti-psychotics Zyprexa et al do (for negative apathetic symptoms of schizophrena). agomelatine also does this but its weak an only available outside the USA. The only otter 5ht2c antagonist is an opiate (ultram) that shouldn't be used with SSRIs as it has serotonergic effects I believe, and then there are the trycycics like nortripiline. All of these drugs have clinical studies showing a reduction in anhedona/apathy in SSRI patients, but apparently once you go into a withdrawl state everything is fucked up

 

5ht2c is directly implicated as a serotonin receptor that inhibits dopamine activity int the VTA and Nuclues accumbs, leading to lack of enjoyment from pleasureable activities.

 

Pubmed articles about for this abound, but can send specific links if you can't find them....

 

 

 

 

 

Apparently, blocking even the "bad" serotonin receptors (5ht2) (which is what Nortryptaline and anti-psych meds do to alleviate SSRI-induced apathy/anhedonia) doesn't work for me or (possibly) anyone in a mixed reinstatement/withdrawal state.
 

 

 

How did you came up with this idea that SSRI after reinstatement blocks 5ht2 receptors? It should block 5ht1a receptors normally.

 


Medication before problems: Took Paxil 60-100mg from 2003 to 2014 for OCD.
1) Last pill taken November 2014, horrendous withdrawal started six weeks later.

2) Re-instated successfully @ 20mg May 2015, but accompanied by severe anhedonia, loss of emotion, apathy, and fatigue

3) Switched to Prozac, Viibyrd, Zoloft, Nefazadone, Cymbalta, Nardil in attempt at abating WD symptoms while not re-introducing anhedonia. Each one either failed to relieve WD or brought back anhedonia (the serotonergic ones)

4) Re-stabilized on Paxil at 15mg

5) Tried augmenting Wellbutrin (only increased anxiety), Vyvanse/Adderall (works for anhedonia, but the crash is brutal) low-dose Zyprexa (bad rxn), low-dose abilify (no effect), cyproheptadine (precipitated withdrawal), mirtazapine (knocked me out), Tianpetine (no effect) in attempt at relieving anhedonia through boosting dopamine directly or indirectly through targeted serotonin receptor blockade)

6) Tapered down to 7.5mg as of October 2016. More energy, anhedonia/loss of emotions remains apart from short windows.

7) Attempted Nortriptaline to paxil trapper to boost motivation and reduce anhedonia (it acts like an NRI, with target serotonin blockade at the "bad" receptors)

8) Stopped Nortriptaline after increased anxiety, no effect on anhedonia, and increased withdrawal symptoms. Only positive was alleviating ADHD symptoms.

9) Now struggling with a simultaneous Libirum and Paxil WD/taper...

 


#276 Henosis

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Posted 16 October 2016 - 02:50 AM

It will be that make sweeter when you recover and half a hell of a story to tell (thats my thought anyways).

 

I was on a Phd track for neuroscience in undergrad until OCD and stress stopped by academic career. Picked up software development after dropping out of a prestigious neurosci college, going on Paxil for OCD, and pickup software engineering. All was well until the paxil quck-taper and now it been two years of hell. Potentially planning to return to neuosci to do what I can to help this !#!!$!$# mess of a situation with psychiatry, Would be a psychiatrist but feel too old for med school at 32. Also, as far as neurosci I'm not enthused about ******* with rats brains and then euthanizing them from a moral perspective. may just sell my **** and do something less demanding than software engineering despite the good paycheck. Will feel like saving the world from SSRIs when the the motivation returns.

 

 

Since quitting my job 2 weeks ago, I definitely feel apathetic about life because:

* I am unable to hold down a job - the type I was doing pre-drugged. Not sure what I am going to do now as my career is ****. Wanted to do a PhD, but as I have been non-resident for a while I don't qualify for funding. This dream has to go on hold for 3 more yrs.
* I am unable to run marathons, and although I had started training for the 5k distance, that all stopped as I managed to injure my neck whilst seated at a funny angle??
* Obviously my health is up the creek now - there is always something strange up, oh and living with mental illness.
* Have found out that my entire life might as well have been phony due to my mother's NPD. In retrospect, everything my parents did was for show and to boast about non-existent success/wealth. All the while I was busting a gut working my butt off trying to build a career for myself, and living in **** as I couldn't afford anything else. My mother didn't even know what I did for a living.
* Am in my 40s and living like a student on a freakin camp bed, whilst half of my capital has been ear-marked to keep my parents hunk-dory for the "rest of their lifetimes". Phony freakin ****.

Seriously, I already know the answer to the question...."where did my life go so freakin wrong??".


Edited by ChessieCat, 23 October 2016 - 08:46 PM.
editied Junglechicken's quote

Medication before problems: Took Paxil 60-100mg from 2003 to 2014 for OCD.
1) Last pill taken November 2014, horrendous withdrawal started six weeks later.

2) Re-instated successfully @ 20mg May 2015, but accompanied by severe anhedonia, loss of emotion, apathy, and fatigue

3) Switched to Prozac, Viibyrd, Zoloft, Nefazadone, Cymbalta, Nardil in attempt at abating WD symptoms while not re-introducing anhedonia. Each one either failed to relieve WD or brought back anhedonia (the serotonergic ones)

4) Re-stabilized on Paxil at 15mg

5) Tried augmenting Wellbutrin (only increased anxiety), Vyvanse/Adderall (works for anhedonia, but the crash is brutal) low-dose Zyprexa (bad rxn), low-dose abilify (no effect), cyproheptadine (precipitated withdrawal), mirtazapine (knocked me out), Tianpetine (no effect) in attempt at relieving anhedonia through boosting dopamine directly or indirectly through targeted serotonin receptor blockade)

6) Tapered down to 7.5mg as of October 2016. More energy, anhedonia/loss of emotions remains apart from short windows.

7) Attempted Nortriptaline to paxil trapper to boost motivation and reduce anhedonia (it acts like an NRI, with target serotonin blockade at the "bad" receptors)

8) Stopped Nortriptaline after increased anxiety, no effect on anhedonia, and increased withdrawal symptoms. Only positive was alleviating ADHD symptoms.

9) Now struggling with a simultaneous Libirum and Paxil WD/taper...

 


#277 RachelE

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Posted 23 October 2016 - 02:19 PM

Seems like a lot of us have anhedonia or something similar. Too bad we haven't reached the point of not caring about our apathy. :) (Just a joke! Actually that's a good thing.) In fact the very fact that we are troubled by anhedonia proves that we must still have some emotions after all. I know I do.

 

Unfortunately I seem to swing between numbness and states of depression and overwhelming anger.  I have to hide it from the people around me because I don't feel I can tell them about my decision to withdraw by tapering.

 

Sometimes I actually welcome numbness. I go from valley to gloomy plain to valley. No foothills or even mole hills any more it seems. :(


I have been on so many medications since I was 20 and diagnosed as "mentally ill" that I have lost count.

Right now, however I have been taking:

Lamictal 25 mg: I went on it in March for only 13 days, then cold turkeyed off when I thought I was developing a rash because of it. Pretended to go back on it, but didn't. Not the best idea, but I had no way to reduce the dose. Anyhow I had no adverse withdrawal reactions, probably because I was on it for less than 2 weeks.

Abilify 20 mg:  I have been on this for several years. Actually at least half the time I have spent as a meds "consumer" I have been on this nasty pill. I finished tapering off it at the beginning of 2016. Was reinstated during the 4 days I spent in a psych ward in March. Tapered off it again in 10 weeks, from say March 15-June 30. Needless to say this is not exact, but I remember I was off it before July 4 (patriotic holiday in America!) I am doing fine, although I know I may have to wait till Christmas or later to know I am out of the danger zone for withdrawal psychosis. The main thing I notice about being off is that I no longer crave sweets all the time and am losing weight without trying. Good thing since I used to weigh 350 lbs.!

Effexor 150 mg: This is the real trouble-maker. Since I have no other way of tapering I do the best I can by bead counting. I unscrew the gel capsule and count out the tiny micro-capsules or beads inside. This works fairly well with the generic time release version. Only 120 beads to count of almost identical size. Lately I have been "holding" at 20 bead removal due to some major stress in my life. Moving hundreds of miles from my old home and a bout of strep throat that wouldn't respond to antibiotics.  I guess that means I'm on 120 mg of Effexor right now. On October 16 I am going to recommence my taper since I am safely moved and no longer have strep! 

I admit now that I did something stupid. I had trouble opening the extra strength gel capsules containing the beads so I reinstated at the original dose for a week. I know it's not good to play ping pong with my brain, but I could never open the capsules without spilling those microscopic balls all over so I was never sure what dosage I was taking! Thank the LORD that I finally have the old kind again and can safely count out the amount. I am now back on 135 mg and feel somewhat better.

October 30, 2016. I am down to 120 mg effexor. November 27, 2016. Down to 105 mg effexor. December 25, 2016. 90 mg effexor. January 15, 2017. 75 mg effexor. January 21. 82.5 mg effexor. January 23, 90 mg again. Feb. 14, 81.25 mg. Mar. 15, 72.5 mg. Mar. 27, 65 mg.  Apr. 9, 58.75 mg.


#278 Henosis

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Posted 23 October 2016 - 04:20 PM

I agree with everything you mentioned.
Funny anecdote: I am usually researching everything to death, but I actually DID get to the point once where I was so apathetic about being apathetic (and anhedonic) that I didn't care anymore. It was an exceedingly strange mental place to find yourself in.

Medication before problems: Took Paxil 60-100mg from 2003 to 2014 for OCD.
1) Last pill taken November 2014, horrendous withdrawal started six weeks later.

2) Re-instated successfully @ 20mg May 2015, but accompanied by severe anhedonia, loss of emotion, apathy, and fatigue

3) Switched to Prozac, Viibyrd, Zoloft, Nefazadone, Cymbalta, Nardil in attempt at abating WD symptoms while not re-introducing anhedonia. Each one either failed to relieve WD or brought back anhedonia (the serotonergic ones)

4) Re-stabilized on Paxil at 15mg

5) Tried augmenting Wellbutrin (only increased anxiety), Vyvanse/Adderall (works for anhedonia, but the crash is brutal) low-dose Zyprexa (bad rxn), low-dose abilify (no effect), cyproheptadine (precipitated withdrawal), mirtazapine (knocked me out), Tianpetine (no effect) in attempt at relieving anhedonia through boosting dopamine directly or indirectly through targeted serotonin receptor blockade)

6) Tapered down to 7.5mg as of October 2016. More energy, anhedonia/loss of emotions remains apart from short windows.

7) Attempted Nortriptaline to paxil trapper to boost motivation and reduce anhedonia (it acts like an NRI, with target serotonin blockade at the "bad" receptors)

8) Stopped Nortriptaline after increased anxiety, no effect on anhedonia, and increased withdrawal symptoms. Only positive was alleviating ADHD symptoms.

9) Now struggling with a simultaneous Libirum and Paxil WD/taper...

 


#279 nicolantana

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Posted 18 February 2017 - 07:24 AM

Hey folks,

 

Just got pointed towards this thread

 

Anhedonia! what a beast, never heard of her until I met her.

 

So throwing my story out there as this website is the only place where one can find validation on this topic.

 

I had a mild depression last July....to put thing in perspective I was training for a marathon in may, on an enjoyable hoilday in Amsterdam, working daily, dating girls, etc....

 

A couple of situational factors happened to knock me a bit.......I was put on lex 10 initially. This did not go welll. Then I was put on seroquel 25. Combination led to hospitalization.......In hospital was fed with meds.....seroquel 125, zyprexa 20, lex 20, mirt 30.....I was on this mix for over four months. The moment seroquel entered my body, I felt nothing. no emotion, no memories, no imagination, no creativity. I was like a zombie with literally no window until I realised that the meds had done this to me....

 

The doc reduced the meds at the end of november.......instantly, I felt slightly more human

I was off all drugs by christmas which I know is an outrageous taper

 

However, I was not psychotic or anywhere near it.

 

I am better without the meds, and I have no real withdrawal symptoms.

 

However, I'm still largely anhedonic.

 

since dropping meds completely I've had maybe 5 windows in 8 weeks. Windows lasting 36 hours max.....where I feel a bit alive, emotional, creative,stimulated etc......so that's maybe two or three weeks in zombie mood......a day of life....back to zombie,etc......

 

it's pretty scary and challenging......it's impossible to connect with people, impossible to work, impossible to enjoy life (95% of time)

 

Feedback welcome......I'm scared that the mix I was on really damaged me and that I may never return to pre med self.....


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#280 raven530

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Posted 18 February 2017 - 07:40 AM

Man this thread was crazy depressing. Anhedonic for a year, really don't think I can keep moving forward, it's just a living hell.


PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)


#281 nicolantana

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 05:14 AM

hey hey...anybody else notice or experience an INABILITY TO YAWN when in this anhedonic/zombie state....like I never yawn!!!


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......

adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

 

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20

 

stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...

 

mid novemeber, began taper.....very small windows of emotion

 

Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....

 

8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks........doubting recovery......


#282 brassmonkey

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 11:28 AM

Went trough that for several months.  Sometimes I could trip one off by forcing my mouth wide open.  It cleared up after a while then rebounded the other way for a while, couldn't stop yawning.


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mg it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking


#283 raven530

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 11:39 AM

I can still yawn. Weird how it manifests itself in different ways in different people


PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)


#284 Julz82

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 12:26 PM

Hey!! 

 

About yawning... now that you mention it... I don't think I ever yawn in spite of being so "tired" (understand drugged)...

 

I know it is so incredibly difficult it is to stay somewhat positive when in such a debilitating state - I find Dalsaan's post spot on:

 

I had anhedonia/emotional anaesthesia on drugs and in withdrawal.   I think we have to keep gently testing where we are at with these symptoms and given them opportunities to diminish.   I say this because I think we can get into a habit of low expectations and thus are not looking for change.  When changes occur slowly they can be easy to miss.   If we miss changes in our emotional capacities then we extend the effect of the drug/withdrawal.   

 

I remember one day something happened that made me feel happy and I was surprised by that but then when I looked back there were other clues that change was afoot.   Withdrawal is painful, tedious and drawn out.  It has very real negative effects that necessitate very real ways of being, knowing and doing that can themselves be habit forming.  Recovery means recovering from negative effects and then developing habits that reflect and support our expanding capacities.     We need to look for, identify and enact our abilities as much as we do our disabilities.

 

D

 

...the balance between "routine" and trying something different every now and again is not easy to get as routine can shield us from suffering - to a certain extent, and probably moreso when you're tranquilised by drugs. We have to learn to cope in this chaotic environment which is that of withdrawal and recovery... trust that recovery is happening!! 


2004: Anorexia & Depression -> polydrugged as a result  :wacko:
- Venlafaxine(MR): 75mg
- Escitalopram: 60mg ...
- Diazepam: 10mg bedtime prescribed, no c/o
- Clonazepam: 4mg
 
2010: New Life in the UK - psychologically much better
GP wants to lower Escitalopram (side effects on heart) -> 2011 to 2014: come down from 60 to 15mg in 5mg steps (I had no idea)
January 2014: (after dropping from 20mg to 15mg Esc.: withdrawal symptoms seem to disappear) but plagued with exhaustion ever since - "Excessive Daytime Sleepiness" rather than CFS type (??)
 
December 2014: I decide to taper off Benzos...
 
March 2017 update:
- Venlafaxine(MR):  75 mg      (no change) 
- Escitalopram:       0              (tapered last 15mg Nov-Feb 2017 - feeling OK)
- Diazepam:             7 mg       (tapered from 10 mg August 2016)
- Clonazepam:         0.2 mg   (actively tapering, daily dry micro-taper) 
 
No longer anorexic nor depressed, but apathetic/flat and exhausted (excessive daytime sleepiness).
 
Varied balanced diet, no processed/refined foods. Plenty water. Yoga & Mindfulness.
Multivitamins - B and C supplements - D3 55 micrograms Magnesium Citrate: 400mg  Have stopped supplements for now
 
 
 

#285 Bobo32

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Posted 14 March 2017 - 06:14 AM

Has anyone experienced cognitive issues of any kind following AD treatment that did not subside even following years off medication.
Thanks in advance for sharing

2004-2007 paxil

2015- zoloft 3 months zyprexa 3 months lexapro 3 months xanax 2 months

no meds since march 2017


#286 Bobo32

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Posted 14 March 2017 - 10:05 AM

In my days pre drugs I used to be passionate about life excited about things and loved to do stuff. Post drugs and many years of withdrawal I'm not passionate about anything. I struggle with things that used to be normal for me especially socializing or interacting with others I need to think everything over nothing comes spontaneously. Anyone experience that even many years post withdrawal?

2004-2007 paxil

2015- zoloft 3 months zyprexa 3 months lexapro 3 months xanax 2 months

no meds since march 2017


#287 Bobo32

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Posted 15 March 2017 - 02:02 AM

I feel every symptom of anhedonia too. Totally relate.
Has anyone recovered from this?
Please help!!!

2004-2007 paxil

2015- zoloft 3 months zyprexa 3 months lexapro 3 months xanax 2 months

no meds since march 2017


#288 oskcajga

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Posted 17 April 2017 - 09:02 PM

I've had anhedonia now for roughly 4 years, and well over 3 of those years consisted of me not taking any antidepressants whatsoever.  I have had some small improvements but I have not felt too many emotions whatsoever.  I am also very stressed out because I don't have much money or security and I KNOW this adds to the problem.  The entire period of antidepressant withdrawal has been marked by financial stress in one way or another - either that or work related stress - but stress in general has been high since this started, and there's no way to alleviate it because you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

 

I really do envy those wealthy individuals who can just chill out and hire meditation experts and go to retreats and **** like that - that definitely will give you a MUCH better chance at recovery.

 

Every day working class people probably have a 50% lower chance of recovery compared to someone who's retired or someone who has a shitload of money and no mortgage to worry about.

 

I have actually had a couple of short lived windows, but they usually ended when something sh*tty related to my situation came back and hit me.

 

My next move here is to say "**** it" and just give up all my stress and just go out on my own and wish for the best, or meet my demise.  True freedom may be my only shot at this point, as it's been 4 years and I'm still trapped and it's not a good way to live.  I've been patiently waiting and holding onto the chance of success and recovery, but I don't think it's going to come so long as I am not out on my own and living my own life, regardless of how stressful and improbable my survival in such a situation.  Sometimes it's better to thrive for a short period of time than it is to survive for many decades.


8 Words of Wisdom about Adverse Effects and Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal Syndrome:

 

1.  Please do learn about this condition by thoroughly reading 1) Dr. Healy's website and SurvivingAntidepressants.

2.  Please read books like: 1) Anatomy of An Epidemic and 2) Mad in America.

3.  Success Stories do exist.

4.  Please be extremely cautious about reinstatements, recreational drugs, supplements.  Even low doses can complicate matters.

5.  Transfer all financial assets into your own name (hint: relationships end).  Do not spend money wastefully.  Keep your job as long as possible.

6.  Psychiatric drug "withdrawal" and adverse effects are serious neurological reactions to powerful "drugs" - do not take this condition lightly.

7.  These conditions almost never recognized by any medical doctors - hospitalization/appointments can be futile/potentially injurious.

8.  PSSD, anhedonia (no emotions), memory loss, brain zaps, etc are scary - don't worsen them by taking more drugs, supplements, and medications.

 

Stimulant free since September 20th, 2014; SSRI free since September 1st, 2013