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Leeg81 -- Twelve months of hell; with and without Prozac


Leeg81

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Lee,

 

Someone will be along with suggestions for you. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. Seems like a common theme. The good news is that it will get better... and that you found this site

 

:)

Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone

1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox.

b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b]

2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax

November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b

Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax

My mantra " go slow & with the flow "

3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day)

4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day.

10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro.

1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms.

1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. :) 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut.

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Hi Lee. Welcome. I know it's hard to explain the depression. There's no way to get across to people the extent of it. When it's just in words it just doesn't convey it. But know that we here all know what you're talking about. I've also been through the agitation where I feel like I'll blow up. I've been off Prozac since the end of June. I tapered off it slow though. Things do get better and it might help you to read success stories. It always helps me because when in that darkness you feel like it'll never end, like life is just like that. But it does.

 

Have you tried natural ways to heal depression? Like supplements or therapies?

 

There is a story of a Buddha student that asked the Master "How do I make myself happy?" and the Master said "Easy. Make other people happy". It is true that when you help others the best you can, it does help yourself. Even when I felt I didn't have much to offer in help for others that are suffering, I found that offering support how I can did lift me as well.

 

There are others that are better at specific advice here than me. But I wanted to welcome you and let you know you're not alone. And yes, tell your g/f how much she means to you :)

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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  • Administrator

Hello, Lee, welcome to our community.

 

Withdrawal symptoms come in waves, and can be emotional symptoms of great intensity. Is your current pattern different from the way you were before the medications?

 

In our Symptoms and Self-Care forum, we have a number of topics about coping with these feelings. See Neuro-emotion and Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms, among others.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Lee

I am in the UK as well and tapering lquid Prozac, I was on AD's for a number of years though before I started my taper, I see you've only been on Prozac a few months, but it sounds like what you're experiencing is a mixture of withdrawal from coming off too fast and your original depression.

I'm another one who experienced extreme agitation from Prozac (and sertraline) as well (hence my really slow taper now).

There is lots of really useful information on this site.

Welcome to the forums

strawberry

*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

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Hi strawberry, shanti, areyouthere, and Altostrata. Thanks for taking the time to respond to my mail. I feel better knowing I am not alone, but in other ways not so great from knowing this - if you know what I mean. :-(

 

The symptoms I have now are 80% different from my initial depression. I never experienced this intense feverishness or nausea before, or a feeling of unreality. I also never then had any moments of being able to relax, whereas now it is possible. It seems each week the symptoms change; sometimes unbearable, others, not so bad. I believe I am getting better, just very very slowly. My only worry is over the coming months, I become worse and the depression returns with a vengeance. I can handle the readjustment if I know this is exactly what it is.

 

The undulating waves make me feel as if I am going crazy. I have told my gf to practically ignore everything I have said in the past 12 months, because I find with this illness, nobody gets to be themselves - just some ghostly type shell hidden within the normal looking you on the outside. All I do is imagine the days when it is finally over, and maybe then I will be able to appreciate life, people, animals and nature, and all the little things a hell of a lot more.

 

I am sick of this illness - angry with it. Reading all these stories just makes me wonder what ad's actually do for anybody? Our society lasted many many years without them.

 

If it makes any difference, I quit smoking over two weeks ago; I know it is a difficult time to do so, and smoking gave me an odd pleasure during the darkest months, but I don't think cigarettes are helping me long term.

 

Lee.

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I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. It sounds like you're really a very strong person - completing your first book - and even giving up smoking during all this. (Congratulations on both of those!)

 

Had you been taking any other medications (for any condition) during approximately the year prior to starting the citalopram? And did your doctor run tests for things like thyroid, Vitamin D levels, etc. prior to putting you on antidepressants?

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Thank you Brandy. I don't especially feel very strong as a person, but hopefully with the advent of time and recovery, I may be able to view this period in a more neutral light.

 

As far as medication, I never took anything before the Citalopram (Which was my first ever AD). In general I am not someone who is big on drugs beyond paracetamol and antibiotics for any infections. When it first began last September, I had a blood test which was all clear on all sides, and a couple of basic tests - blood pressure etc. I pretty much told my doc the situation, and he prescribed the AD.

 

Right now, I am also having the depression elements of life without smoking. But am trying to stick this one out as it is a long term solution.

 

Does anybody know if this is going to get any worse, or will - once the withdrawal symptoms vanish, things return back to a more calmer, consistent state? It has been almost four months since I stopped, I thought it would be back to normal by now. :-(

 

Lee.

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  • Administrator

Those definitely sound like withdrawal symptoms, which can amplify "depression" (see the Neuro-emotion topic).

 

Withdrawal symptoms come in waves and windows, with the windows of feeling better becoming longer and more frequent as time goes on. What is antidepressant withdrawal syndrome?

 

How long antidepressant syndrome lasts varies from person to person. It could be 6 months, it could be several years. We all need to learn patience and to take care of ourselves to assist healing.

 

Please also search the Symptoms and Self-care forum for omega-3 fish oil, magnesium, and melatonin. These supplements seem to help most people.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Altostrata. I have been taking Omega 3s, and they do make a difference in parts. Have not checked out the other items yet, but will do after your advice. There is definitely much truth in trying to heal in my own way as much as I can, and - although a fight and a half, I keep trying each day.

 

I do hope you are right, and - taking from someone who has posted over 6,000 times on this site, I imagine is a pretty good judge of this type of thing. Also I would like to say thanks for taking the time to reply to so many sufferers on here; that type of giving inspires me.

 

As far as Ad's are concerned. I never wanted to take them, but do not regret that I did at the time, because at the time, I needed something to give me some kind of bizaree, chemical hope - as ridiculous as that sounds now. I plan to write a book about this whole year, based around Antidepressants, and every last misconception behind the illness and the many ways in which it affects everyone.

 

Thanks again...

 

Lee.

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"I decided to try to wean myself off the drug. And after four weeks of steady tapering, took my last dose of the mindwarper on May 28th (107 days ago, or so); I have not taken any medication for my illness since." Lee

Lee, the reason I highlighted this was because from what we have all been thru, (4) weeks is a very fast taper. The taper itself will cause alot of what you are experiencing. You are off the drug and your brain is trying to adjust to not having Prozac anymore.

 

That's one part of what I believe I am understanding. The other part you mentioned is that you feel you may be going back to your original issue of depression. That's very possible.

 

You were quite depressed when you went on medications. Most likely you have both issues going on. A quick taper (even if you weren't depressed can cause depression and anxiety).

 

I hope I am not confusing you. In your heart-of-hearts you are going to have to determine if it is both and what you want to do about it. Please don't beat yourself up. We tend to do that :(

 

Read thru alot of the posts here on the site. Google any medications a Dr. may recommend for you. Have a physician you feel comfortable with and who is knowledgeable about AD's and the Discontinuation Syndrome you and the rest of us are experiencing.

 

Stay connected here, and talk to Strawberry....she has a Prozac Blog.

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I take Omega fish oils and think they help in a gentle way, I take these ones which are in the UK:http://www.vegepa.com/vegepa_pure_epa.php?n=VegEPA&indi=2 (hope the link works)

*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
Vegepa OK hope THIS link works LOL

*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

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I need to wait a couple of weeks before I see a doctor - (I live in a busy area where appointments take this long to attain. Unless it is an emergency, which I cannot justify right now). I am really trying to do all this without any medications, and just live clean and natural. I am very sensitive in general to most stimulants, so enjoy being as clean as I can (just for me, anyone is free to do what they wish).

 

I believe my problem is currently 90% withdrawal, 10% initial depression. The depression I feel is also added with the quitting of cigarettes, but again - much like with withdrawal, knowing for a fact this will slowly dissipate and pass, is more than enough for me to get through the suffering.

 

I love the 'windows and waves' analogy, by the way. I am trying to describe depression to my gf here, but have realised it is almost impossible. When using this analogy, it made much more sense. :-)

 

Thanks for the links Strawberry. Reading your story makes me realise how brave some people are on this planet! :-)

 

Lee.

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  • Administrator

Some people really do find that fish oil makes a noticeable difference in withdrawal symptoms and overall mood.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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