mayflower: where to post intro?

[mayflower]

Hello, I just registered and I'm unsure where to post an introduction and some questions. I'm in the right neighborhood as my med is xanax, but do I just start a new thread? Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.

[Jemima]

This is where you post your intro:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/3-introductions-and-updates/

 

In fact, I'm going to move your post and mine to that section in just a minute, but in the meantime, welcome to the forum! You'll find a lot of support and information here, including a number of people who are withdrawing from Xanax and other benzos. (There is no separate intro topic for the benzo group.)

 

Also, please add your drug history to your signature when you feel up to it. Here's how:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

This helps all of us understand what's going on and how we can best help.

[mayflower]

Thanks Jemima. I hope I've got it right this time.

 

I'll add my hx to my profile in a bit, for now I just want to get connected and hopefully get thrown a lifeline. A former participant here recommended this group.

 

6-7 yr history of Rx xanax (no other psych meds), 1 mg. at bedtime and avg .5 daytime (daytime dose was irregular, some days a little over .5, some days none). In hindsight I was having symptoms since last December suggesting that tolerance had developed but I didn't connect the dots and did not increase my dose. Lost weight first half of this year and was feeling generally unwell.

 

Another problem was developing as well. In late May I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. After getting the diagnosis I went into panic mode -- I knew that xanax can depress respiration and make sleep apnea worse. It would be a few weeks before I'd get a CPAP machine, and I was really scared. I completely stopped the bedtime dose and just took .5 during the day (.25 x 2). I could write a long and colorful essay about what ensued from that horrifically drastic cut but fast forward to now, almost 4 months later -- as soon as I got my CPAP machine in early June I added back in the bedtime dose, but only .5 instead of 1 mg. So essentially my initial cut was over 50% and I've been there (now at .75 mg total/day) for almost 4 months.

 

I'm having trouble with what to do at this point -- I never stabilized and continue to feel awful four months after that major cut. From what I've read it's best to hold until you reach a stable place. On the other hand, I have a feeling I'm not going to feel better until this med is completely out of my system and I've had some healing time. I don't know what to do: Updosing worries me because of the apnea and I'm not convinced it would offer relief at this point, but decreasing seems ill-advised too.

 

This is an abbreviated version of my story. My most disabling issue right now is physical pain -- neck and back. I'm going for a massage this afternoon in hopes it will help. I have some osteoarthritis in my cervical and lumbar spine so it was a vulnerable target for the withdrawal effects. Then there is the harm done from however long I had severe apnea and the oxygen deprivation that goes along with that. There's no way to tell how much of what I'm going through is withdrawal and how much is the effects of apnea which can also take a long time to heal.

 

I was completely unable to work for two months, I'm working part-time now but struggling through it and I'm also now in severe financial distress (single, self-employed). I welcome input from the experienced folks here. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

I have a psych doc who is suggesting using neurontin while I finish tapering; I had a phone consultation with Dr. Shipko who of course thinks adding any meds in is a bad idea. I'm lost and I also am very afraid that too much neuro damage has been done and I'm actually not going to recover. All reassuring words are welcome now... Thanks!

[compsports]

Welcome Mayflower as a fellow apneac. Glad you found your way here.

 

Great bunch of supportive people.

 

CS

[mayflower]

Thanks CS, glad to have an apneac buddy here!

[Jemima]

I can't say much about benzo dependency as I mercifully escaped it despite being prescribed Lorazepam (Ativan) rather liberally at one point. However, what I do recognize in your post is the very common sense of panic that you're going to feel like this forever, or at least for a long time. Please be assured that what you're experiencing is caused by withdrawal from the drug. It's not a sign of permanent brain damage or permanent anything else. Also, I've noticed in general that folks who are experiencing withdrawal are very impatient, so the anxiety itself may be a symptom of withdrawal. Things do get better, just not as fast as we all would like.

 

Do feel free to post and ask lots of questions in the benzo group where folks have specific experience with these drugs. This introductory section is for both you and us, something of a journal where you can not only post your intro but continue to post updates as things change. I've found my own intro topic very helpful, especially on those days when I feel stuck. It's reassuring to look back and see that I actually have made progress.

 

Again, welcome!

[mayflower]

Thanks Jemima, should I post my story in the benzo section too? I'm thinking that Rhi and the other benzo folks are likely the ones who can help the most with my benzo 'adventures.'

[Jemima]

Thanks Jemima, should I post my story in the benzo section too? I'm thinking that Rhi and the other benzo folks are likely the ones who can help the most with my benzo 'adventures.'

 

It's easiest to just enter your drug history in your signature along with a link to your intro post. That way you don't have to keep repeating yourself because it will all show up at the bottom of your posts.

 

You might want to do that and then ask about your immediate concerns in the benzo group. But we're pretty free-form here. Do what feels comfortable to you.

[Altostrata]

Dr. Shipko just published an e-book, Xanax Withdrawal, which you might find helpful.

 

Our informal benzo group is here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/29-members-only-benzo-tapering-discussion/

[mayflower]

Thanks Alto, I've read his e-book and had a phone consultation with him. I share his bias against using more meds to taper but I'm not sure I won't need some extra help after the brutal experience I've had so far. I'll move over to the benzo discussion area as you suggested. Thanks again, much appreciated.