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Iggy131313

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anyway, its 1.30pm, the dopamine spike from the tress is wearing off and i can feel the akathisia....also the time of day is worse

 

no hangover, no lack of sleep so i would have expected today to be more severe, im doing what i can to self talk through the sensations

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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Scares me to death to think I may have to suffer for the rest of my life....emotional anesthisia being the absolute worse.

 

5% recovery from tardive symptoms ....jeez!

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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no no, not 5% recvery from tardive stuff

 

5% recvery from tardive dyskinesia, and they have a poor understanding of it...its usually caused by antipsychotics which have a COMPLETELY different mechanism of action to ssris

 

we wont suffer for the rest of our lifves...it gets better, i know it gets better, and muddles, we are gonna find out what is going on, and we are gonna find ways to address it, and if your not better at 5 years, then there will be things we can do...im sure of it, we are learning so much more all the timme

 

dont be scared by what I say, other people are other people.......im pretty sure your issue is desensitisation of 5ht1a.....its all specyulation...but thats what makes sense to me, and although people may say we learn nothing from reading studies, thats ignorance.....readuing and relating, and understanding is the key...from my reading i would NEVER have tried fish oils, i should have educated myself.....and known it would mess me up..te use of cannabis is the opposite from literature it should help with the symptoms being a partial 5ht1a agonist...and it does......

 

one day we will escape this prison, one way, or another, but i cannot sit by and wait and wait,. I waited for 2 and a half years...then I found things that improved my condition...

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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Thank god for that! I've tried researching so much - I have found out a lot but still don't understand why many on here suffer intense anxiety - scared of everything etc. I am not scared of anything....I have no fight or flight response to anything. I know my dopamine is screwed too because I display all of the symptoms - zero pleasure from anything, no excitement - nothing compared to what I was before MEDS....I was always like a child...excited over the smallest of things. I get Akathisia on and off but that is nothing to do with adrenaline.

 

I kind of worked it out but my memory is so shot I've forgotten already.

 

The only other person on the board I can kind of relate to is btdt. I'm sure Effexor and Mirtazapine are similar. I can also relate to some who have been on an anti-pyschotic. Chemical lobotomy. I tried a beer a few months ago and it did nothing - my head just froze up more. There was no effect apart from making me so bad for the week following.

 

I don't know - it's very complicated.

 

And thanks for telling me I won't be like this forever. I honestly couldn't do it. I am survivng minute by minute in hope that the worst will be over in 5 years. I would be grateful to reach even 30% of who I was.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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akathisia actually as alot to do with norepinephrine, well mine does, but norepinephrine also depletes dopamine same as serotonin does, but via a different mechanism......

 

personally, I feel that your symptoms are different to say, mine, because mine are due to a supsensitivity to 5ht2a receptors....i had NO symptoms until 5 months off the drug (common) that is a tardive issue, and cause by upregulation...the question is, is it that the NORMAL amoutn of receptors came back but in an oversensitised state? or is it becasue the downregulated receptors came back and now I have a billion too many....or both?? Therefore the majority of my symptoms are due to too much serotonin hitting the 5ht2a receptors, depleting dopamine (as serotonin inhibits dopamine) and for me I know norepinephrine is greatly increased, GREATLY, as my akathisia can manifest as severe terror...as it is RIGHT NOW

 

Muddles, may I ask...do you have pssd?

 

Also I am similar in one thing, Im not scared of things, my ''anxiety'' is simply akathisia, too much norepinephrine, not enough dopamine, too much serotonin, there is no thought process behind it, im not worrying about anything, but my body and brain, and somewhere deep within that i cant describe, in my very soul is FROZEN with terror...which can then ramp up to akathisia....they are 2 different sensations but are the same thing on different levels.....horrific though

 

Ive just come back from walking with my son to the shops and the park, he had a pound he wanted to spend and got some sweets, i was locked inside my head (he didnt know that) trying to comfort myself from the HORRIFIC OVERWHELMING terror/akathisia...movement makes it worse for me, walking around.....it was so overwhelming, we have now got hom and its ramped up another level, perhaps becasue i just smoked a cigerette

 

im not as severe as i was a couple of days ago when i didnt have a hangover or anything, so im trying to hold onto that as a good sign...but the SUFFERING is more, as this sensation is so unbearable........i wasnt having this, this is back after the ibu[rp[hen setback....and my period is due soon, when that happens, its going to get far far worse

 

did you say you get worse on your period or after?

 

also, when you talk about the emotional numbness, is it complete? so you know you love your kids but you cant feel that love? you feel nothing at all?

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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Iggy, I honestly don't understand how being on this forum serves you. All this back and forth sniping can't be helping you. I see people offering you suggestions and compassion all the time and you repeatedly dismiss them. That's okay, I guess. I just don't see the purpose or what you gain from writing this journal or what you want or expect from others.

 

Perhaps those who want to support you and offer you kindness should be the only people writing on your thread and everyone else should just ignore reading it. We're all here to help each other through this and this kind of back and forth arguing and hysterics ramps all of us up in a very bad way. I hope you find the peace and stability you are seeking, Iggy.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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Caroline....this is a setback...you have been here before....you will not stay at this sevierity, distrat and survive, think positive thoughts, remember those who are so much better, and remember that the terror is better than the akathisia......it will be ok, you WILL be ok...there are more options too.....things will be happening, remembr you didnt even need a forum for months, you got by.....you coped...you will get back there...the ibuprophen has messed with all the levels and your brain couldnt cope, its ajusting, your ajusting and you will stabilise, the upregulated receptors will downregulate over time, or the sensitivity will wear off.......its slow, but it happens, look at paul, he had akathisia so bad for 8 years, now its just the terror...very rarely does he get akathisia.....he said its night and day difference...and he was as bad as you, he is 10 years off and still improving....

 

this is a setback.....it will lessen and lessen over time, its only been nearly 3 weeks and its not as sever as it was (although im now in the best part of my cycle and suffering horribly, it could well be as severe as it was once I come on)

 

but its always taken me alot longer than 3 weeks to recover from such a severe thing as messing with the level of ssri in my system....all i can do is hope

 

the nausea is far far less today, thats one thing, and though i would take the nausea in place of the terror anytime, my 5ht2 is far more sensitised than 5ht3 so the nausea WILL go away first....

 

Muddles, I dont know if your familiar with LOv4k9s story? I think you will get alot of comfort from it

 

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/13607-adverse-reaction-to-prozac-still-recovering/

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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Hi PUgknows, I read your story yesterday and im sorry for what your going through

 

I come here to keep a journal of my symptoms, I dont ask for advice on my lifestyle, I dont ask for judgement, yes, I would like support from people who understand....it helps me to keep a record here so I can look back and see when and what I did etc etc

 

compassion Im always grateful for.....judgements, accusations, and bad advice I can do without....being told to ditch the drug when i react so badly to the interference of ibuprophen for one day....this kind of advice could end up with me dead....pugknows, im so sorry for your suffering, i know the unbearable sensation of akathisia all too well, I have lived with it for 3 years

 

you say this

 

Perhaps those who want to support you and offer you kindness should be the only people writing on your thread and everyone else should just ignore reading it

 

exactly, and let me tell you, if you met me, if you saw me, and understood what my life is......you would want to support me and offer me kindness.....ive never asked for anything else....

 

occasionally I will ask someone like alto a question (for example when i reacted to the new bottle and alto was kind enough to tell me about the decreased strength of the old mediaction) other than that...I dont ask for help, advice or anything else, just kindness and empathy......i hope you feel better soon, I know how hard life is feeling like this all the time....

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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and even when i was doing better, its still the case that if I was given the option of dying in my sleep at night, quietly and peacefully I would do it, without hestitation....

 

all I want is to stop suffering or die......either one at this point is good enough for me....its been so long, and the only time i see REAL improvements is when I have used weed......dopamine increases and 5ht antagonism.....

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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Thanks, Iggy. Life is definitely difficult. Do you know anything about gabapentin?

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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I dont hon, all I really know is that its mechamism of action is different to ssris or TCAs..its a channel blocker isnt it? not directly effecting things?? can you tell me a bit about your symtpoms? and if they change or cycle at all...and can you try to describe your akathisia?

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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Ill deffo do some reading for you, not to find a cure, but, for me, sometimes understanding whats happening helps me to cope...like just now walking back from the shops, the sensations overwhelming me, I was repeating, i6ts norepeinephrine, its a brain chemical flooding your system...it will go away...it helps sometimes

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

Link to comment

I have cortisol surging that starts at 3am every morning and stays with me all day until 6pm. Very consistent. It causes the akathisia I have all day. I'm non functional and stay in bed all day panting with a racing heart. When I go to the store, I have to keep the panic at bay and get right back in bed before terror sets in.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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I don't have pssd and I really don't understand why not. I sometimes get PGAD on and off....awful!!

 

Yes I'm completely emotionless - look at my children and husband and know I love them but don't feel it....the worst kind of hell imaginable. The only feeling I get are toxic ones.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

how very familiar....if thats where you need to be, in bed, then stay there...i know when im very severe, thats all i can do, roll around in bed screaming and crying, trying to pretend im dying of cancer...thats what i imagione to comfort myself, that im being told im dying and have days to live, and then i go through the feeling on dying in my head....getting away from it all...the relief....awful I know, but its the truth....do what you need for a while, I was in bed for 5 months to start with...then i was bed ridden at least every 9 days for about 5 days or more, sometimes for weeks, and when I was bed ridden it was becasue it was IMPOSSIBLE to do anything else.....even to save my childs life, it wasnt possible

 

i hadnt had one day in bed for 11 months.....then the ibuprophen hit me, and i have had 3 days in bed....i havent been bedridden for maybe a week....but once my period sets in, thats when the severity will ramp up to a point i may well be again

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

Link to comment

Over the past 6 months, I've tried one pill each of the following with crummy results: PS100, ugh. Melatonin, ugh. Vit D, ugh. Taurine, ugh. 5Htp, ugh. If there's no lifting of this I don't take them after one pill. I take 400-600mg magnesium and have taken a few Lactium capsules just to try to stay calm. Also some tart cherry and Bach Rock Rose. Nothing consistently, as nothing seems to touch or decrease the cortisol surging at all.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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I admit muddles, I agree....and even though my symtpoms are immediate and the suffering is out of this world, i wouldnt trade them for anhedonia.....but read that thread i sent you

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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what makes you so sure its cortisol? i should imagine its norepeinephrine....

 

is there a time of day that it can get worse?

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

Link to comment

Anything you can find in the way of research would be greatly appreciated as I am severely impaired cognitively.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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also oug knows, i dont know why you took so many things that increase serotonin, i bet they made you feel worse? it looks like gabapentin effects gaba and serootnin, what a mix, ssri and benzo w/d rolled into one, how kind of the drs to give that to you.....I will pray for you

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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im on it, ill definitly do as much as I can xxxx

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Iggy, it's late here in Australia, I just saw your call for a Mod. 

 

Just want you to know it's being looked into.  I'm not sure I'm the right one to respond.  I can hide the post - but I don't even know the situation well enough to do that.  It's now 2 pages on, can you just let go of it ad let it fall away?

 

You were not attacked, from my perspective, hopeful and helpful suggestions were made.  Keep in mind there are prohibitions against weed in most countries and states, and at least 49% of people in the USA believes it is damaging.  The percentage goes higher when you are talking about psych people.  100% of psych practitioners here in Australia believe it is evil (but then they prescribe neuroleptics and such), and a trigger for many mental and emotional problems.

 

Here's 2:  http://www.madinamerica.com/2015/03/concerns-links-marijuana-use-schizophrenia/

and:  http://www.madinamerica.com/2015/02/heavy-marijuana-use-associated-three-times-higher-risk-psychosis/

 

It affects dopamine and serotonin and cannabinoid pathways.  I'm not judging you, but I can understand why others would think it is a "bad thing."  That said, it is prescribed for PTSD and depression in California.  However, California has special medical strains so that you can control the balance of the neurotransmitters affected, for different conditions.  Street dope does not have that benefit.  That said, it cannot be as bad as olanzapine, for example.

 

But again, I don't know the whole story.  A smarter mod will be along soon. 

 

Sorry I couldn't be more help.  I'm hoping I didn't stir the pot further - since I don't know the whole story, feel free to neglect my statements here, and feel free to ask me to hide it, if you are offended.

 

It's difficult to tell what will "set you off,"  Your struggles are unique to you, and I wouldn't presume to know what is right for you.  Tilly wouldn't have taken the time to respond to you if she didn't care about you.  Even if her comments didn't "feel good" or "hurt," they were not meant in a cruel vein, in my opinion.

 

But I'm just an egg, what do I know?  Take care.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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yes I can let it go....like I said what i saw as i direct attack was not about the weed or anything like that...Im puttin it out there and I exoect kick back from it

 

It was suggesting my son was at risk, unsafe and that I had obvious bonding propblems, that was cruelty for NO reason..but yes, i will let it go

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

Link to comment

She was only on short term :-(

 

I think its a lot of dp/Dr in the mix too. No connection to anything around me what-so-ever.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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Hi Iggy. I think it's cortisol surgings from the descriptions of it on this forum. It's very consistent and tied to my f'd up circadian rhythm. Wakes me up at 3am, surges throughout the day, worst at its peak between 11am-2pm, starts to abate around 4pm, relief comes at 6pm, then starts all over again at 3am.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

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Muddles, who are you talking about? Luv? she was on and off for 8 YEARS

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

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No the lady in the link

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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Pugknows.....its great that you get relief at 6..Im starting to speculate here, and let me look into it further, but your symptoms happen the OPPOSITE WAY to mine......how did you react to 5htp? it would seem that serotonin isnt your enemy...

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

Link to comment

Sorry Iggy - my mistake. Maybe there is hope. Thank you so much for that.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

yes, thats Luv4k9s......she was on for 8 years....

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

Link to comment

thats the thread which led me to know what had happened to me, I found it 3 years ago, I found out what kindling was, and I had the answers for now......yes, she was on 8 years, besides, I feel that its more relevant how many times one has gone on and off, not the amount of time on the drug that is crucial...you have much more than hope

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

Link to comment

I just took one pill. Made me feel a bit more drugged, but hard to tell because I took it in my first month after CT.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

Link to comment

Thanks for researching this for me, Iggy. Maybe you can explain what's happening to me in terms a 5 year old could understand.

January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain.

September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch.

January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch.

July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite.

August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again.

September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain.

October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps.

November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months.

December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable.

March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime.

Link to comment

I dont have the answers darling, but I will definitly look as I know that it can reasuuring to have something to explain thingss...even if its not 100% right,

 

its taken me YEARS to grasp what in the world happened to me, but if I can of any help then I will be, I have many reassuring emails...also Muddles and pugknows, even though pugknows is in the US...you can call BAT battle againsyt tranquillisers, they know alot about withdrawal and they support people on the phone....

 

therer is a woman called una there who went through a severe 6 year plus benzo withdrawal and she is really great....

 

google them, sometimes it can be good to hear from them....and muddles heres another one for you...this is woman 5 years of this is the message she sent me at 5 years off.....she was ripped off benzos and prozac and had been on many many other ssris etc over the years....I dont have anhedonia, but she did.....listen to this

 

Caroline, I have had EVERY SX. known except for severe pain!!!!! I told u I had over 200 sx's! I had 100% emotional numbness for almost 3 years... I was a complete zombie... I could not count to 2, I could not feel, I did not know who I was, I did not sleep for 2-1/2 years, I was psychotic, I had flashbacks for 2 years, amnesia, u name it I had it! I was in the TOP 10 of sufferers!!! All together for 3 years straight.... I hid in closets and walked 22 hours a day, day and nite outside rain, freezing weather, tried to kill myself more than once, had severe intense fear, etc,etc.... Most of it is all gone, except in my wave, stuff comes back for a bit but leaves... I am progressively healing... It take a ALLONG time... u will get there..

 

 

Im not the terrible scare mongerer people see me as you know....I say things the way I see them...I can also show you amazing recoveries and hope...the recivered thread on PP was 2 pages long when I joined..I made it about 10 pages long....I know just about every person there is to know who has been through or is going through this, at times those things can be scary, at others very uplifting, I have various emails and messages from people that could give you hope...in fact, speak to selmalady, she had zero emotion for 4 YEARS and it all came back...

damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement

 

akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily

 

severly disabled and lost everything

Link to comment

Thanks Iggy - really. I suppose I just struggle because Mirtazapine is one evil mother effer! I read post on here and think 'my god, I'm not like that, why can't I do that or just have that'? You know what it's like. I think if the emf and chemcial sensitivities would do one it would be easier. I managed to get out today to get some clothes for the kids...it wasn't pretty, but mainly because of the sensitivities - debenhams killed me big time! DP/DR is also hell as I'm waking around like an alien...I don't notice it so bad when I'm in the house....it stops me from wanting to go out into the world. I have a lot of famiky stress going on and feel like I need to cut a few people out of my life - I actually would love to move away but the children have too many friends here and love school. Stress throws me back or keeps me from moving anywhere - the recent stuff through me into hell!!!

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

But at least I was able to leave my bed today - that is huge!

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment
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