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☼ Brassmonkey: Talking about myself


brassmonkey

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Merged with Brassmonkey's original Intro topic.

 

Welcome, all.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Greg-- you could be right.  Yesterday I copied and pasted all 87 pages of it, one at a time naturally, so I wouldn't loose all the information in it.  Took for ever for my computer to save the document.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi Brassmonkey,

I once spent a weekend reading through your entire journal on PP, it was about a year ago, so probably not as long as it is now.  I was fascinated to read about the time and effort you and your wife put into Halloween activities each year. :)

 

Its good to read that your slide taper is still going so well.

 

So, welcome (back) to SA, and to the other PP refugees.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Hi Tom, I've just joined over here now.  I had a feeling I joined this forum when it first started but I couldn't figure out what my sign-on was if I did.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Hi Songbird--glad you could make it over, seems like a lot of the gang made it.

 

@Petu--  You read the entire thing and survived?  I only know of one other besides you and myself that made it clear through.  Last count it was 87 pages and over 1500 posts.  It still amazes me how much response I got to it, especially the number of views 119,387 something.  I guess I was just too close to it, but it didn't seem all that interesting.  The taper is still going well, I have a week and a half to go on this hold period and then start another slide ending at 2.1mg.  If everything goes well I should be jumping off sometime next summer.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi BrassMonkey,

 

Nice to see you here, I was Gemini_girl from pp.

 

You helped me a lot so wanted to say hi!!

2010 started 10 mg celexa, 2011 went up to 20 mg

06/2014 started tapering (20 mg,10 mg alternate days)

19/09/2014 crashed at 10 mg

20/09/2014 updosed to 20 mg to try and stabilize- Never stabilized and CNS basically plummeted

August 31 2015- Started my 5% taper anyways

May 3 2016- At 14 mg the tapering caught up with me- Withdrawal included severe anxiety, feeling like im on speed, suicidal and homicidal ideation, akathesia, feeling like I was on heroin, memory loss, PGAD, feeling like I was on an acid

May 4 2016- Updosed to 15.5 mg to try and stabilize

​June 4- Started taking 2 mg 5 times a day which adds up to 10 mg because of akathesia when taking my full dose. Akathesia symtpoms smaller

July 27th- Dropped from 15.5 mg to 10 mg because could no longer tolerate taking drug- bad side effects mainly akathesia and emotional deadness.

​Oct 11- Improved a lot since May 4th after my crash. Withdrawal symptoms still left- DR/DP, emotional anasthesia, akathesia, tingling in head, feeling like my body and face disappears, messed up sound interpretation, perception and difficulty reading social and emotional cues during DR/DP, apathy, inability to tell if I am in dream or reality, disturbed sleep. Started having few windows

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Geminigirl-- Glad I could help and it's nice to see both of you (one for each post) lol  I really am glad you made it over.

 

OOH OOH  OOW OUCH!!!!!  Broke a tooth.  Took a big hunk out of my upper left back molar with a piece of cheese. Darn WD, if it's not one symptom it's another. lol   Break out the oragel I can't see the dentist until tomorrow. 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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hehe ya....

 

Do you like my new pic?

 

It's a funny cat...

 

Oh no, hope you fix ur tooth!

2010 started 10 mg celexa, 2011 went up to 20 mg

06/2014 started tapering (20 mg,10 mg alternate days)

19/09/2014 crashed at 10 mg

20/09/2014 updosed to 20 mg to try and stabilize- Never stabilized and CNS basically plummeted

August 31 2015- Started my 5% taper anyways

May 3 2016- At 14 mg the tapering caught up with me- Withdrawal included severe anxiety, feeling like im on speed, suicidal and homicidal ideation, akathesia, feeling like I was on heroin, memory loss, PGAD, feeling like I was on an acid

May 4 2016- Updosed to 15.5 mg to try and stabilize

​June 4- Started taking 2 mg 5 times a day which adds up to 10 mg because of akathesia when taking my full dose. Akathesia symtpoms smaller

July 27th- Dropped from 15.5 mg to 10 mg because could no longer tolerate taking drug- bad side effects mainly akathesia and emotional deadness.

​Oct 11- Improved a lot since May 4th after my crash. Withdrawal symptoms still left- DR/DP, emotional anasthesia, akathesia, tingling in head, feeling like my body and face disappears, messed up sound interpretation, perception and difficulty reading social and emotional cues during DR/DP, apathy, inability to tell if I am in dream or reality, disturbed sleep. Started having few windows

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Tom my old buddy my old mate ... feeling right at home now that you are here.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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Funny (strange) thing - I recently broke two of my teeth - chewing on nuts.  Guess that says something about me :unsure:

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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A piece of cheese? Must have been really stale! LOL. Man, I chew on ice all the time (darn anemia) now you've got me worried. :blink: I can't afford the dentist!

 

Hope they can get you in early, I know that's gotta hurt. :(

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Hi Brass, I found you guys!  Aberdeen, Songbird too!  I lost my support community and am so thankful you're here!  Can someone PM me what happened?

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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Finally made it to the dentist on Friday.  In and out in ten minutes.  Yep you have a broken tooth, here take these pills, we will call you later this afternoon with an appointment with a specialist to do a root canal.  So here it is 11:30 Saturday night and I still haven't heard back about the appointment and the pills don't do a whole lot of good.  Actually I've had teeth hurt a lot more than this, but it wears you down and I rather pissed about the short shrift and lack of follow up.  Monicas neck and stomach have been really playing up for the past couple of weeks and the helplessness of watching her in pain always causes me great stress. (For all you SAers Monica is my wife of 36 years and the definition of soul mate.)   I am surprised that the WDs have pretty well left me alone the last couple of days.  I'm not feeling great, but my head has been clear enough to take charge and make things happen with getting her to her doctors appointments, getting her meds and such while also getting my own stuff handled.  I have been very tired and achy but that is pretty normal right now.  I have noticed that the tinnitus has been spiking on and off a lot more, more than likely the added stress of the past week.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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As always, a good read. So pleased I found all you guys again, I'm sure I went through a period of grieving for you all when pp shut. So excited to see so many familiar names.

paroxatine.30mg-98-14 (16years)/15mg March 14/15mg may 2014 every two days on docs advice, went nuts so went up to 10mg. Took 2months to stabilise.10mg July 2014-sept 2014 (6.9mg)tried WD at 10% every two weeks. went nuts, nearly left husband, cats and country.10mg sept-December 14/9mg Dec-Jan 15/8.5mg Jan-Feb 15/8mg Feb-March 15/7.5mg march 15/7mg march-present. By October, off meds and on ivf. 3 failed ivf and end of 11yr relationship.10mg/July 16- July 17/5mg Jan 18- july 18

0mg july- present. Really struggling 

 

 

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Hi Brassmonkey, great to have you here. I love your brassmonkey sliding taper it sounds like a 

good way to taper and I'm glad it's worked well for you and others.  :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Thanks mammaP,  it all came out of being scared of the symptoms I had read about.  I was in a really bad place and didn't want to risk it getting any worse.  I hope more people will try it, I think it would really help them.

 

Started the third week or my current hold.  Things have been changing enough that I can't really set a baseline of WDnormal.  Currently I feel like I have slipped backward a bit in the feeling like c*** department.  The brain fog has been pretty consistent for a while now, when I am rested it isn't as bad, but when I get tired it really make itself known and I seem to be tired a lot lately.  I'm sleeping pretty well and feel fairly rested in the morning, but by afternoon I'm done in.  The tinnitus has calmed back down which is nice.  At least I don't have the pain in my hands right now they just have no strength and are totally uncoordinated.

 

Ended up calling the dentist to get my root canal referral, they made it up while I was on the phone, then I had to make all the arrangements.  I get to wait until next Tuesday, the soonest they could get me in.  In the meantime more pills.  At least I seem to be tolerating them so far.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Arrrgghhhh toothache and stuff is the pits.  Root canals are ok, it's just hard keeping your mouth open all the time.  Gets sore after a while.

As you said, at least you are tolerating the pills.  Hope it doens't cause too much trouble over Christma.

Personal history of GAD and 4 melancholic depressive episodes - two treated with Amityptline

Family history of Bipolar Disorder - goes back at least 3 generations

Adult son with autism, ADHD, intellectual disability and Bipolar II

Put on Aropax / Paxil in July 1997 for anther episode.  Decision to stay on it - worst decision of my life.

Began to poop out in late 2008. Switched to Lexapro March 2009.  Made me suicidal.  Tried Cymbalta for 19 days. Horrible w/d.

Found PP and RI'd Aropax at about the same time - August 2009.  Began slow taper in 2010. Crashed in 13-11mg range in mid 2013.  Switched to Citalopram 21 Oct 2013 in an attempt to stabilise.

 

There are things that are known, and things that are unknown; in between are doors - Anonymous

 

https://itunes.apple.com/au/book/longing-for-life/id958423649  My book about my unsuccessful journey through IVF

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Toothache, pills, Monica crook, stress.....  no wonder you aren't feeling the best Tom.   Hang in there.  xx

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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I swear these meds affect teeth too. I never had probs before paxil and in the last 8 years I had 4 root canals, maybe 5 I'm not sure. Seems my teeth got weaker.

Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg.

1/01/15 - .75 mg.

1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues...

2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me!

3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad!

4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 

4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. 

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Me too DLB!  It's the craziest thing.

zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks)
Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg,  1/15 10 mg, 3/15  9 mg,  5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg.  4/16  5 mg, 6/16   4.5 mg,  9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17  3.2 mg,  4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17  1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg,  1/18 0.79 mg

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I wouldn't put it past it, they seem to effect just about everything.  Right now especially me.  Had a really nice meltdown last night.  First in some time, I think I was in the 6-5mg range for the last one.  That range was not fun.  So my tooth started hurting right after I went to bed and I started thinking about how I had to call the dentist in the morning to get an extension on the pain meds and that got me thinking about the crappy way he had treated me during the consult and that got me up into my head (which is not a safe place to be) which then let loose some of the anger I have been suppressing about all the s*** from the past ten years what with the poopout, updose, more poopout, alcohol trouble, pain etc., etc. all because of the stupid pills and the medical community. (I think I just wrote a prime example of a run on sentence)  I've been holding in the main anger, because uncontrolled it can get really ugly and I never want to go back there again, and trying to dispel it a little at a time as I have the mental strength to cope with it.  So much for that idea, I didn't get violent angry but I was sure upset for a while.  Before things got too out of control I got up and went out and talked to my rock, Monica.  She has been so wonderful through this whole mess. After some emotional talking and such I was able to get a lot of it out and clamed down enough to sleep.  Today I'm just suffering the emotional "hangover" and not enough sleep.  The dentist did give me an extension with no problem, but I still don't trust him or any doctor.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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I am so sorry about your tooth/pain. It is so understandable that you would be angry as you have dealt with a lot - all because of medication that was supposed to help. I think it is good to have the anger directed outward. I often get mad at myself for taking these meds. in the first place. I am so glad you have Monica to talk to - it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship. I hope you are feeling better very soon!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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Teeth problems are the worst!  I've had at least 8 root canals, maybe more.  I've lost count.  I can't remember if any of them were before Paxil, but I've always had rotten teeth so I'm not blaming it.  I guess I've been lucky in the sense that whenever I was in enough pain to need a root canal, I could always get in FAST.  I hope you are feeling better.

Paxil 20mg 1994-2005
Tried to quit twice, finally did it on my 3rd attempt in 2005.

I went from 20mg to zero in about four months, believing at the time that it was a reasonable taper.  It wasn't.  I suffered mostly emotional symptoms: frequent episodes of "anxious depression" lasting for about 17 months before it got noticeably better.

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Well my views of the medical industry have been reinforced yet again.  I spoke with the dentists office this morning and they approved the new prescription and were going to phone it in for me.  Guess what wasn't waiting for me when I got there this evening, the pharmacy had no records of it at all.  Once I am done dealing with this round of treatments the insurance company is going to get an ear full.

 

I've had seven or eight root canal over the years and they haven't been all that bad, considering.  My problem stems from the eight or nine fillings I had as a kid, with out the help of Novocaine.  The arms of the dentists chair were never the same afterwards, and neither was I.  There are some things that you just can never forgive your parents for.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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So sorry Tom. :(

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Dental work is the worst! I can't believe you are having to wait! I too share a strong dislike (read terror) of the dentist. I had a tooth pulled and it about killed me. Hang in there. Would getting it pulled be quicker/cheaper/easier?

1998- Began taking 20 mg. of Paxil for homesickness 2001-CT and crash/hospitalized 1 week for anxiety. Tried quitting, changing to other ADs, gave up. 2014 -Weaned @ 10% every 4 weeks. Latest 5-14 11.7 mg., 6-14 10.5 mg., 8-21 9.5 mg., 9-17 7.7 mg.,10-14 6.9 mg., 11-14 6.2 mg., 12-14 5.6 mg., 1-15 5.0 mg. 2-15 4.5 mg. (miscalculated may actually be 3.3), up-dosed to 3.7 3-17-15. Hydroxyzine HCl 25 mg. as needed (antihistamine) for anxiety.

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My problem stems from the eight or nine fillings I had as a kid, with out the help of Novocaine.

 

When I was a kid we never got injections when we got fillings from the dental nurse at the "murder house" (school dental clinic).  Then as a young adult I used to forgo the injections as I didn't like them, I just put up with feeling the drill.  So far I've managed to avoid any root canals.  I didn't go to the dentist for about 12 years, and was expecting some when I finally went.  I had a couple of borderline teeth, but in the end just had to have four fillings.  My dentist is very nice and it was all straightforward. 

 

Sorry to hear you are having so many problems, all the other issues you've had on top of the actual teeth problems would multiply the stress.  Is there any way you could just have a big cry instead of getting angry?  That usually helps me, I'm a big cryer these days!  (Oh, I need the "big cry" emoticon we used to have).

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Hello BM,

Sorry to hear about your dental issues. I myself have some work scheduled and am not looking forward to it.

wishing you luck,

Tgirl

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS BRASS MONKEY! Hope the dental issues have calmed a bit.

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.

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I wouldn't put it past it, they seem to effect just about everything.  Right now especially me.  Had a really nice meltdown last night.  First in some time, I think I was in the 6-5mg range for the last one.  That range was not fun.  So my tooth started hurting right after I went to bed and I started thinking about how I had to call the dentist in the morning to get an extension on the pain meds and that got me thinking about the crappy way he had treated me during the consult and that got me up into my head (which is not a safe place to be) which then let loose some of the anger I have been suppressing about all the s*** from the past ten years what with the poopout, updose, more poopout, alcohol trouble, pain etc., etc. all because of the stupid pills and the medical community. (I think I just wrote a prime example of a run on sentence)  I've been holding in the main anger, because uncontrolled it can get really ugly and I never want to go back there again, and trying to dispel it a little at a time as I have the mental strength to cope with it.  So much for that idea, I didn't get violent angry but I was sure upset for a while.  Before things got too out of control I got up and went out and talked to my rock, Monica.  She has been so wonderful through this whole mess. After some emotional talking and such I was able to get a lot of it out and clamed down enough to sleep.  Today I'm just suffering the emotional "hangover" and not enough sleep.  The dentist did give me an extension with no problem, but I still don't trust him or any doctor.

I need a rock Monica... hello Brassmonky welcome I think I was at pp when you were there...long ago. 

 

Is Monica a rock or a person you call your rock... may be a stupid question likely is... I will assume Monica is your wife tho I may try a pet rock can't hurt. 

 

10 years of anger I can identify with that... a lot to drag around every day I wonder how much that has to do with things.  It has to be affecting all of us how could it now?  

 

I think withdrawal does affect our teeth I know it affects calcium may be related to that.... teeth have been some of my worst sources of pain... anger ect... as for root canals I had a ton since I started wd... and almost all of them have had to be pulled since.. a few more to pull and I may just feel better... may sound like a crazy thought but I will never again have a root canal if I break any more teeth they are getting pulled out I am done with root canals. I have a few teeth now that are always abscessed and the xray shows nothing wrong with them... so they will not pull them even tho they hurt like he double hockey sticks... so no treatment.  One has a lump on the side that one they pulled it practically fell out. 

If you were to ask me I know you didn't but if you were I would say pull it. but that is just me and my extreme situation with teeth ...pain dentists and crap. 

 

Withdrawal normal sounds like an oxymoron to me... I can't decide if I love it or hate it... but it is one of them. 

 

I hope the pain pills don't affect your taper and or self... and that you have a peaceful holiday... 

peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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Is Monica a rock or a person you call your rock... may be a stupid question likely is...I will assume Monica is your wife tho I may try a pet rock can't hurt.

 

:lol:  LOL, Monica the pet rock!

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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Monica is my wonderful wife of 36 some years.  I call her my rock at times like this because she is so steady to hang on to.  It is a role that switches as need be I've supported her through a lot too.  I just told her about several of asking if she would be your rock and she got all mushy and teary eyed.  

Actually I did let the anger out in the form of a good cry, very cathartic.   As long as I keep up with the pain pills (Tylanol #3) the tooth is pretty much under control and codeine has never bothered me.  I was on Vicodin for 18 months during my Seven Years of Pain and was able to quit in  a week with no problems. Thank you all for the support it really helps. 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi brass monkey! Good to see you here. I was Jupiter on paxil progress. I didn't post there much but you were very kind to me on there. Welcome!

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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Monica is my wonderful wife of 36 some years.  I call her my rock at times like this because she is so steady to hang on to.  It is a role that switches as need be I've supported her through a lot too.  I just told her about several of asking if she would be your rock and she got all mushy and teary eyed.  

Actually I did let the anger out in the form of a good cry, very cathartic.   As long as I keep up with the pain pills (Tylanol #3) the tooth is pretty much under control and codeine has never bothered me.  I was on Vicodin for 18 months during my Seven Years of Pain and was able to quit in  a week with no problems. Thank you all for the support it really helps. 

Sorry I did not meant to joke about your wonderful wife your very lucky to have each other.  I really did think it was a rock then went back and read it again... just let it sit... after that. 

Can I ask about your 7 years of pain... was it wd related... I have a lot of pain.  Hope the tooth is fixed soon. 

peace

 

ps I do get something like brain fog intermittently it is more like stupid fog...tho

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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Hey Brass, Merry Christmas. Hopefully the tooth dilemma ends soon. I have been lucky not to have any issues in wd with my teeth I guess! Gearing up for my next drop. How about you?

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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btdt-- we have to maintain our sense of humor through this entire mess, Monica and I both got a good chuckle out of it.  I, for one, love finding the absurd/obscure humor in peoples statements.

 

Many years ago, back when I was more bull headed than I am now, I wasn't feeling well and had stomach pains.  Even though the ultrasounds and x-rays showed nothing the doctor said you have gall stones and the gall bladder needs to come out.  Not being a trusting soul and not being shown any evidence, I blew him off.  About six months later the pain had grown to the point I couldn't take it any more and I went to the ER.  Next day they removed three pounds of gangrenous gall bladder.  To help clean up the internal mess they installed a stomach drain.  A week or so later, removing the drain caused a surgical clip to come off of what was left of the bile duct.  This resulted in a massive case of paritinitious  (sp), which required a second surgery to clean up.  It also caused 45 adhesions between the stomach muscles and the guts.  It took 18 months of intense pain for this to get figured out, including a case of pancrititius  (sp). Which is the most painful and disgusting thing I have ever been through.  A third surgery released the adhesions and I was able to start recovering.  It wasn't for another five years that I actually started feeling descent.  Now, 20 some years later, I still have occasional trouble with the area around the scar.  During those seven years I was a very angery and sensitive person which lead to my introduction to a new wonder drug called Paxil.  But that is another story.  I often tell people that ADWD will be the hardest thing they ever do in your life.  For me it was my Seven Years of Pain, which has made my WD experience a relative walk in the park.  

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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