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Success: Recovery From Severe Zoloft Protracted Withdrawal


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#1 Iggy131313

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:49 AM

Hi All, I have permission from this guy to post this here, This chap took 4.5 years to feel fully recovered from what was TRULY a severe w/d, he is fine now.


Even I recovered in the end...
I used to post here years ago - I don't know if there's anyone still around who would remember me, but basically I turned up at the start of 2006 at the beginning of an almighty sertraline withdrawal (which had already been going on for a few months) and then spent the next couple of years going through the wringer. I don't need to go into the details of this, as I'm sure you all know exactly what I mean, but I had a pretty horrific time of it... there were people here who'd had it worse than me, but I think I was probably in the top 5% in terms of how difficult I found it, and how long my symptoms lasted. A really, really horrible period of my life which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Whatever you're going through right now, there's a good chance I had it too, and for a very, very long time. Seriously... it was grim.

Anyway, I'm just dropping back in for two reasons. Firstly, I sort of vanished from the site once I started to feel better and I wanted to come back and say thanks properly to the folks who helped me out at the time. So thanks - this place helped me out a lot.

Secondly, I can remember that when I was going through withdrawal myself, it was always good to hear from people who'd had it really bad and recovered... so here I am. I still have depression, sure. I have moderate anxiety issues and a whole cornucopia of hang-ups which make my life less than totally wonderful. But I don't think there's a single major problem in my life right now which I can point to and say "that's lingering withdrawal, right there" - and that's been the case for several years now.

Now... I've been off SSRIs for seven years, so that might not sound like much of a boast. But I was convinced I'd never recover. A year after stopping the pills, I would regularly find myself thrashing around on the floor screaming and howling; two years after that I was still in hell. I'm naturally a pretty pessimistic guy (like a lot of people with depression, I guess) and sometimes it was impossible to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I began thinking that the only reason I hadn't ended it all was that I didn't have the guts. And anyone who's been there will know that it's a pretty scary place to be, mentally.

Years after coming off, I still had PSSD. For someone like me, who'd always been what we in Britain call a randy git (and this hadn't been affected at all by a high dose of SSRIs) that was a big problem. My sex drive was still strong... the problem was, my mind was writing cheques my body couldn't cash. Erections were unreliable - though not completely gone - but the worst thing was the horrific premature ejaculation. It was like being a teenage virgin again... I could get started, but then seconds later... oh dear. To the guys here who are having problems even getting that far, that may sound not so bad, but trust me - it really is. Orgasms were almost totally pleasureless, of course. This went on for years. Just when my confidence needed a boost, it got the biggest kicking imaginable... and life's greatest pleasure was gone.

And while all this was going on, my life itself decided to go badly wrong. I haven't even got the time to list all the disasters and general "challenging" events from that period, but let's just say that even without the withdrawal it would have been a very difficult time indeed. As it was... I still don't know how I made it through.

But I did. I hung on, and eventually I got better. I'm not religious, I'm not into meditation or anything like that, I don't believe in any kind of alternative medicine and I'm even slightly dubious about the benefits of therapy (at least for myself - I'm sure it works great for others). I'm not what you'd call a positive thinker. I don't have great willpower, either (currently giving up smoking, years too late, and it's an absolute nightmare!). I found a couple of doctors who were sympathetic, but none who had anything useful to say, let alone anything useful they could do.

What I'm saying is, I went through one of the longest, hardest withdrawals and post-withdrawal periods I've ever heard of; I was totally unprepared for it, very badly suited to it, and unless you count the forum, I had nothing in my life to help me through. And somehow, I managed to beat it. What does this prove? Well, it proves one thing for a start: if a loser like me can do it, so can you.

The recovery was slow and painful, but I became conscious of every little improvement as it happened. I got used to the pattern: something would get better for a while, then suddenly everything would swing right back and all that recovery would vanish. But I learnt the trick - once something had recovered temporarily, it was only a matter of time before it recovered permanently. It made no difference if it came back for a while... it had already revealed its weakness, and sooner or later it was going to be gone for good. That was true in every single case.

I spent a while "pampering" myself, when things were really bad. If I was incapable of doing anything that day, I did nothing. Sure, I lost a lot of time I'll never get back... but what was the alternative? Then, when I had a good day, I'd grasp it with both hands and get as much done as I could - so when things got bad again I had some kind of achievement to point to, something to remind me that it wasn't always like this, and wasn't always going to be.

The PSSD was probably the last thing to go. It can last a horribly long time, I'm afraid. But once it's gone, believe me - you're so glad to be fixed, the joy drowns out any bitterness! Again it was a slow process, with lots of gradual improvements followed by depressing relapses, but after a while it was obvious that things were starting to change... and they did. Eventually, everything fell back into place. I'm 40 now, and I have a well-functioning sex life which is more affected by the fact that I was a smoker until a fortnight ago than it is by anything to do with SSRIs. I lost four or five years of my sex life, which doesn't fill me with joy. But I got it back, and it feels good, and ultimately that's what matters.

These days, I'm basically just a guy with moderate depression and anxiety... more or less what I was before I ever touched an antidepressant. Right back where I started, after going through a nightmare - that's pretty depressing, right? Well, not really. I coped with full-on nightmarish withdrawal, so now I find I can cope with depression. Things are a LOT easier than they were five or six years ago, and I made it through that - so making it through this is a piece of cake by comparison. No, I don't feel great every day. Yes, I feel a bit exhausted still by everything I went through. And yes, I can see little ways in which the whole experience damaged me: I certainly can't be the hard-living guy I was in my younger days, that's for sure. But I'm capable of enjoying things now, and looking to the future with a bit of hope again. It's all behind me now, that horror... and at last, everything's up to me. I'm not at the mercy of crazy bubbling brain chemistry with a life of its own any more. It's all up to me again - and that's the most important thing in the world.

And all I have to say to anyone who's currently going through long-term, heavy withdrawal symptoms: just hang on. You don't have to do anything... just hang on. So long as you don't let it beat you, in the end this stuff will just melt away. It really will. There'll be a bit of mental "tidying up" to do afterwards, as though a hurricane has passed through your house. But you'll be so glad you survived, so glad to see the blue skies again, you won't care too much about that. If it ever seems like everything's hopeless... well, it's not. It's really not. Honestly, it's simple as that.

Good luck to everyone. You'll get there in the end.
__________________

Edited by Altostrata, 01 February 2013 - 10:09 AM.
added emphasis

Citalopram 40mg 1 year
Citalopram 20mg 1.5 years
Cold turkey stop

w/d hits 5 months CT

Failed RI

now on 2.5mg/2mg/1.75mg/1.5mg/

 

0.48/0/42


#2 Iggy131313

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 08:50 AM

Alto, you may remember him, its LOSSLEADER

Citalopram 40mg 1 year
Citalopram 20mg 1.5 years
Cold turkey stop

w/d hits 5 months CT

Failed RI

now on 2.5mg/2mg/1.75mg/1.5mg/

 

0.48/0/42


#3 Altostrata

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 10:29 AM

!!!!!!!!! So happy to hear Lossleader has recovered. For many years, he was beyond gloomy.
This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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#4 Iggy131313

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 10:48 AM

Hes a great guy and he suffered very badly, he said he saw alot of improvements before the 4.5 year mark but it was then that he felt normal again..yeah he had a terrible time....he told me to hold my nerve, he said ''hold your nerve for long enough and all this will go away, it really will'' That message from him kept me going for at least 2 weeks!

Citalopram 40mg 1 year
Citalopram 20mg 1.5 years
Cold turkey stop

w/d hits 5 months CT

Failed RI

now on 2.5mg/2mg/1.75mg/1.5mg/

 

0.48/0/42


#5 Iggy131313

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 10:53 AM

In fact I will post a passge from his most recent email to me....of course you have to remember that Loss had depression before he started on ssris and still does now, but for those of us who were put on them for other reasons (like I was for a physical illness) I hope we wont have any lasting depression... As regards being healed - yeah, I think I am, although that doesn't mean I'm a bundle of joy. The point is, I'm back to being me, with all my own issues and problems, rather than a load of artificial SSRI-induced ones, and this is definitely better. I do have more anxiety than I used to (though much, MUCH less than in withdrawal - I mean, it's not even remotely in the same league as four years ago or whatever, never mind the first year off). Possibly that's a long-term effect of being on antidepressants so long, but having come through so much I'm strong enough to deal with that thought now... I mean, how I feel now is so much better than how I felt before, it's like being on a different planet. I don't really get free-floating anxiety any more, either - it's more about actual stuff in my life. This is better, obviously, because at least I can respond to it constructively, by trying to fix the stuff... I'd say the main lingering thing from w/d is mental exhaustion from years of that crap - I still get stressed out very easily, I need a lot of sleep, I feel a bit gloomy about having lost a few years, things like that. There's no point pretending that's not the case. But my God, I'm just a completely different person from the gibbering wreck I was after coming off SSRIs. Issues like this are just NOTHING compared to what you're putting up with right now. But if you put up with them long enough, they'll go away. They really will. It's just a matter of holding your nerve and waiting for the next improvement, until eventually you turn the corner and you know you're finally on the mend.

Citalopram 40mg 1 year
Citalopram 20mg 1.5 years
Cold turkey stop

w/d hits 5 months CT

Failed RI

now on 2.5mg/2mg/1.75mg/1.5mg/

 

0.48/0/42


#6 Jemima

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Posted 02 January 2013 - 01:56 PM

Great posts, Iggy. Thank you.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivinganti...oducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivinganti...r-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 


#7 Altostrata

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 04:09 PM

Please convey to LL my regards. There are a number of old-timers here who will be happy to hear he's doing so well.
This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#8 lionboy

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 12:24 PM

Fair play to this fella for posting this, I'm 2.5 years in, only 2 to go!
1999 50mg citalopram / celexa for anxiety / depression after history of illegal drug abuse
dec 2007 50mg - 40mg
march 2009 40mg - 30mg
july 2009 30mg - 20mg
aug 2009 20mg - 30mg
sept 2009 30mg - 20mg
jan 2010 20mg - 30mg
july 2010 30mg - 25mg (one 20mg and half a 10mg tablet)
july 2010 - july 2013 25mg

July 2013 began tapering down in 1mg increments, dissolving the tablets in water and using a syringe as suggested by Rhi. Had a few hiccups along the way as can be seen in my thread.

End December 2013, now down to 11.25mg

#9 basildev

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Posted 11 January 2013 - 12:42 PM

That's very encouraging. Hope for us all. Thanks for sharing.
July 2001 prescribed 20mg citalopram for depression;
On and off meds from 2003-2006.
February 2006 back on 20mg citalopram and stayed on it until my last attempt at tapering in September 2011.
By far the worst withdrawal symptoms ever. Reinstated to 20mg citalopram
October 2012 - found this forum!
Nov 2012 to Feb 2013 did 10% taper, got doen to 11mg - was going great until stressful situation. Cortisol levels hit the roof, hideous insomnia forced me to updose to 20mg.
Hoping for some quality sleep soon!



****** I am not a medical practitioner, any advice I give comes from my own experience or reading and is only my perspective ******

#10 Nikki

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 05:04 AM

I do remember LossLeader. God Bless him. There are two things he said that resonate with me. PSSD I took that to mean Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from WD. Is that right? I have it. It is the fear of ever feeling like that again - and - having anxiety or a bit of depression, and it feels like the end of the world because it was so bad at one time. When a symptom passes, it's gone. Thanks for posting. Hugs

Intro: http://survivinganti...ndown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine


#11 Altostrata

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 12:01 PM

No, LL was troubled by PSSD -- Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction.
This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#12 Altostrata

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:10 AM

Bumping for newbies -- everyone should read this!
This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#13 beans

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 10:20 AM

It's amazing what people can fully recover from. It's helpful to know that going in, that it is worth it in the end.

Celexa 20 mg  2002
Benzo FREE - Tapered clonazepam 8/11 to 6/13

 

Began Celexa taper 2/13, DIY fluid

4/29/13 - 17 mg
down 2 mg per month

11/13 - 4 mg

12/12/13 - 3.5 mg

too fast, too angry, updosed

1/21/14 - 7 mg

3/13/14 - 6.75


#14 dunerbug

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 07:13 AM

Needed to see that!! Thank you!
Started Fluoxetine Jan. 2010
Tried to go off of it in Sept. 2010
Weaned too fast and was back on it by Nov. 2010
Didn't work as good the second time around.
Started to wean again in Nov. 2011 and was off for good by April? 2012

#15 johnson

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Posted 10 March 2013 - 05:00 PM

Thanks for posting this.

2000 - took accutane for my acne 2001 - On Paxil for about 6 months. Stopped due to side effects mainly severe stomach pain, extreme fatigue, headaches

2006 to 2009 - Went on 150mg of Wellbutrin/Bupropion for about 3 years. Side effects were again stomach pain, fatigue and frequent urination. Didn't feel like it helped my anxiety/depression so I stopped cold turkey. I did not have any major problems after going cold turkey at the time.

2009 to 2012 - Starting taking 100 mg of 5htp and whack load of other supplements(multivitamin, omega 3, protein shake, amino acids, sage, magnesium, vitamin D3, apple cider vinegar pills) every other day. Helped with my anxiety/mood quite a bit.

April 2012 - first signs of sexual dysfunction(pre-cum all the time especially when going to the bathroom to pee and not aroused), but issues were minor. But also had feeling as if I am ready to ejaculate all the time.

June 2012 - major weight loss, was about 15 pounds underweight and severe stomach pain and cramps

Nov 27 2012 - Took last pill of 5htp 50mg. Worst issue severe sexual dysfunction(can't get or sustain an strong erection, loss of feeling, no orgasm, no desire for sexual activity, delayed ejaculation, pre-cum when i'm not aroused, feeling of arousal all the time without thoughts) and frequent urination which is why I stopped taking 5htp and all other supplements completely cold turkey. Experienced the following side effects the past year while still taking the supplement and while getting off;

Feb 2013 - started major symptoms of frequent urination Dec 2013 - issues with muscle tension. Neck shoulder and headaches

 

insomnia,hives,eye twitching, restless legs, frequent urination/tingling sensation, upset stomach, cramps, bloating, diarrhea, severe sexual dysfunction(no erection, no feeling, no orgasm, delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation, constant arousal, pre-cum a lot more than normal, morning erection not as strong as it used to be, cold damp genitals) ,headaches, brain zaps, dizziness, nausea, chills, fatigue, anxiety. Lack of natural body sweat especially when active. Not to mention I didn't really feel any emotion either. tinnitus

 

Present Issues - sexual dysfunction and frequent urination, headaches, shoulder and neck pain. Cold feeling in between my thigh area and Genitals. Tingling/arousal feeling in Penis. And I have gotten the so called "24 hour flu" 4 times over the past two years in withdrawal.

June 27, 2014 - 19 months off since I took my last pill of 5HTP, 5-6 years since taking last pill of Wellbutrin


#16 Iggy131313

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Posted 26 June 2013 - 12:25 PM

sorry just to say again, that this is not charlys story, this is lossleader, so need another swift title change!! 

 

not critising at all, just pointing it out is all...also of course its better because both carly G and Lossleader have made full recoveries!!!


Citalopram 40mg 1 year
Citalopram 20mg 1.5 years
Cold turkey stop

w/d hits 5 months CT

Failed RI

now on 2.5mg/2mg/1.75mg/1.5mg/

 

0.48/0/42


#17 Iggy131313

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Posted 26 June 2013 - 12:26 PM

maybe a btter title would be

 

severe zoloft protracted withdrawal - recovery - must read

 

I should have called it that when I posted it


Citalopram 40mg 1 year
Citalopram 20mg 1.5 years
Cold turkey stop

w/d hits 5 months CT

Failed RI

now on 2.5mg/2mg/1.75mg/1.5mg/

 

0.48/0/42


#18 Jemima

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Posted 26 June 2013 - 04:53 PM

How's this, Iggy?


Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivinganti...oducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivinganti...r-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 


#19 annelle

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Posted 26 June 2013 - 09:52 PM

Thank you so much, Iggy, 

 

for posting Loss' story!

 

It is very encouraging and reassuring reading, and I happen to be reading it on a bad day, so it was just what I needed.

 

I think it is so nice of him to care so much about other people trying to recover from AD withdrawal and actually make a point of telling everybody his recovery story. Although not perfect, as the states himself, it must definitely be deemed a success story.

 

It certainly brightens my day :)


Alopam (benzodiazepine) first prescribed 1994
Akarin (citalopram) from 2002

Mirtazepine for about 2 months for insomnia in 2003 or 2004
Changed from Akarin to Effexor 2005
Started Nexium 2005
Changed from Effexor to Akarin 2006
Stopped Alopam after slow tapering 2006
Changed from Akarin to Cipralex 2006
Started Seroquel (quetiapine) 2006
Changed from Nexium to Omeprazol 2006
Started tramadol 2008
Started pramipexole for restless legs syndrome 2008
Stopped Seroquel after quick tapering 2009
Stopped tramadol 2011
Stopped Omeprazol August 2012
Stopped Cipralex (escitalopram) (after an appr 6 weeks taper) on Oct 13, 2012
Reinstated Cipralex 5 mg on May 18 - on May 22 went down to 2.5 mg Cipralex - June 1 down to 2 mg Cipralex, oral drops - June 26 down to 1.20 mg - July 27 updosed to 1,30 mg - Sept 14 down to 1,00 mg of own tablet liquid - Oct 20 down to 0,90 mg


#20 Iggy131313

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Posted 27 June 2013 - 04:49 AM

great stuff and everyone is most welcome, I know the desperation for success stories. I feel very lost


Citalopram 40mg 1 year
Citalopram 20mg 1.5 years
Cold turkey stop

w/d hits 5 months CT

Failed RI

now on 2.5mg/2mg/1.75mg/1.5mg/

 

0.48/0/42


#21 Dani

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 07:08 PM

This is soooo inspiring! Thank you soooo much for sharing?
Dec 2004 - Put on Zoloft after having a panic attack from the Birth Control Ortho Evra Patch (the doctors thought I was completely insane when I told them I think the Birth Control Patch is giving me anxiety/panic. Funny how they tell you NOW that Birth Control can indeed cause anxiety) Started at 25mg, increased to 50 mg and 100 mg in 2007. They made me too sleepy so decreased back to 50mg until 2009. Reduced to 25 mg in 2010.

Oct 2010 - Decided to come off Zoloft to try and have children. Didn't know anything about tapering because apparently, my doctor didn't know about it either. WDs included heart palpitations, dizziness, tinnitus etc. Decided to go back on Zoloft within 2 weeks of stopping.

January 2011 - Knowing a little more about tapering, I decided to stop taking taking Zoloft with my doctors help again. She told me to hurry and taper in 4 weeks because the tinnitus could become permanent. I thought this was too fast so I took another month to taper.

March 30, 2011 - Last Zoloft pill.

Had a little dizziness & sadness, but felt fine until Aug 2011 after a relative died.

Since then symptoms include brain shivers, migraine headaches on right side of head, warm/hot sensations on right side of head and ears, internal vibrations, tremor, muscle twitches, strange sensations in right side of head, anxiety, just don't feel like myself :(

#22 theelt712

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Posted 26 July 2013 - 04:15 PM

Wow, this story truly is something to cling to- I love it. :)


I am off of all meds as of May 20th, 2013, after 5 weeks on Zoloft and a 4 week taper. Still experiencing: severe anhedonia & PSSD, I am otherwise mostly healed.

 

"If I walk away, don't hate me. I've got to see where the pain will take me.

 

I found no angels...I found myself."


#23 btdt

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Posted 06 August 2013 - 12:53 AM

I do remember LossLeader. God Bless him. There are two things he said that resonate with me. PSSD I took that to mean Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from WD. Is that right? I have it. It is the fear of ever feeling like that again - and - having anxiety or a bit of depression, and it feels like the end of the world because it was so bad at one time. When a symptom passes, it's gone. Thanks for posting. Hugs

 

 

While PSSD is post ssri sexual dsyfunction...ptsd post traumatic stress disorder ... are two different things I think you can get them both from cold turkey... cause I have had them both ... according to shrinks... ptsd was the dx after I quit some previous drugs cold turkey.. each in turn 

severer reaction to proac quit after two wks.. lasted at least two years ... I was medicated out of it by amitriptyline... leading to zoloft...leading to paxil ... quit them all cold turkey ... and ended up on the next drug before too long after the quitting paxil ct... I got the ptsd dx. and was put on Effexor and celexa.. quit the celexa ... staying on Effexor.. ct E 5 years 7 months ago. 

Sexual dysfunction can run a range for women.. I am female. 

No feeling absolutely numb sex organs including breast.  

I think that stayed at least 3 years gradually improving on a hit and miss basis.. don't check to see no partner.  At this point I can feel but rarely bother as when I do I have discovered Orgasm headaches... intense pain like my head will explode as soon as the orgasm starts... now I had the orgasm that did not feel much most of the time I was on Effexor but I would choose that to this as this one thing that may turn me off sex forever.

 

Loss Leader was at pp... I was a bit confused there for a minute as I know this site was not here in 2006... I remember him. glad he is doing well.

7 years for him and Charlie both... oh my I am almost there and I am going to feel like a complete failure if I can't pull of some healing magic in the next year and a half.  

There were times I was sure I was dying but I did not die... I have to admit I am a bit surprised by that.. I am not done either.  LL does mention he had set backs during his withdrawal he does not say what they were.. I wish he had. I have had setbacks too.. I would like to know what he has overcome... cause I wonder if this going to keep me from that magical  7 year fan fare of being healed...

Just another day in paradise...

I am grateful for the amount of healing I have now when I look back at the first year... I think the word is grateful... ya grateful to my body for surviving and to those who helped me along the way.. forums and in real life.

I am also angry about the way my life has been affected... there is this 5.5 years sure but there are also the 18 years drugged before...all for pain in my leg which I have to this day. I am damaged I know that.  Worse than the damage to my personal self is the damage to my family... to see your child suffer because of the effects a drug has had on your life is something a mother does not take lightly.  My inability to be helpful to him now still bothers me. The loss of financial security at time when I am ready to retire will eat at me thru these supposed golden years... should I reach that 7 year mark and be freed like the rest.  

I doubt this will be over for me and pharma.

I know I am weak I can't touch them but I will try to keep people off these drugs... I will try to tell them how bad they are as long as I can as long as I am alive.

Sadly if the past is any indication most won't believe me and take them anyway.  

Now that I think about it that is not much to aspire to for an entire life time... maybe I will rethink this at the 7 year mark.


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/


#24 Claudius

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Posted 17 August 2013 - 05:05 AM

This is a great story, and gives hope to the long termers.

I am now at 70 months, so close to 6 years and still not recovered, though there is absolutely a lot of progression.

I feel I have entered some plateau phase again so look forwrd to the next phase of recovery from protacted WD. I really REALLY hope that (almost) complete recovery is possible for all of us, albeit a very long term process.

 

I will definately post my story when I feel recovered. If I will recover, I am sure anybody will.


10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002
several attempts to quit since 2004
Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then
after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road

after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons
We are not lost even though it may feel that way. We are in transition.


#25 btdt

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Posted 21 August 2013 - 09:16 PM

This is a great story, and gives hope to the long termers.

I am now at 70 months, so close to 6 years and still not recovered, though there is absolutely a lot of progression.

I feel I have entered some plateau phase again so look forwrd to the next phase of recovery from protacted WD. I really REALLY hope that (almost) complete recovery is possible for all of us, albeit a very long term process.

 

I will definately post my story when I feel recovered. If I will recover, I am sure anybody will.

You are one month ahead of me how very interesting...I quit Nov 18 2007 wishing you healing... and peace.


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/


#26 catw66

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Posted 23 August 2013 - 05:44 PM

I am glad I read this just now. I am so happy for him that he got to the other side of all this. I am sad though that it took as long as I did and that scares me, but it seems he remained mindful and patient and hopeful.

 

I had a horrible day post my cymbalta cut down - cessation, and then reinstatement experiment. I truly felt sick as a dog with a major headache and it was the loneliest feeling in the world. I am 47 and I wish I was doing this when I was younger. I worry it is too late for me. By the time I am OK, I will be what? 54?

 

But I will be 54 anyway and maybe some better life still awaits me. I don't know. At least I haven't let myself go totally down the tubes physically over all these meds, but I've Lost SO much time and I get really really down about it at times. But maybe if I have to wait a long time yet to find some true mental homeostasis as much as possible, then it's still worth it to hang in there and get through this.

 

I went to a metro park tonight and laid down on the grass and felt the earth for a while. That was a help. I kept asking whatever power that might be at all for any help. On my drive home in the dark, I got the message that I need to come home and read the success stories. They truly are helpful at this point.


Finished slow taper on 4/6/14 from 20 mg to 6 beads over period of almost a year on Cymbalta and then quit cannabis around the time I DC'd Cymbalta.

Tried to go off completely 8/13 - 8/20 (didn't work) - Reinstated 10mg on 8/21/13

Off Adderall (2010 -2013) after 3.5 years since July 12th, 2013

Taking Tramadol 50 mg since 2007 for chronic pain

Lamictal 450 mg (from 2007 - 2009)

Lexapro (2004-2007 30 mg?)

Ambien (2009-2010)

Trazadone (2010-2011 for sleep)

2008-2010 -Trials of Wellbutrin, Paxil, Ritalin, Concerta, Effexor, Risperdal, Abilify, Seroquel, Trileptal

Earlier history includes - long courses of Tricyclics, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil. Serzone, Celexa, Remeron, Zoloft for shorter periods.

Haldol, Lithium, Stelazine. Xanax, Clonipin, and Ativan have been used on and off, mostly Clonipin. Went through serious Xanax withdrawal a couple times in my life so far. Methadone (2003-2005 - psychiatrist/pain management doctor decided that was the first thing I ought to try for moderate chronic pain).  MS Contin 2005-2007 (aka Morphine)

 


#27 Dani

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 10:09 PM

[quote name="Dani" post="57889" timestamp="1374116937"]

This is soooo inspiring! Thank you soooo much for sharing!!!
Dec 2004 - Put on Zoloft after having a panic attack from the Birth Control Ortho Evra Patch (the doctors thought I was completely insane when I told them I think the Birth Control Patch is giving me anxiety/panic. Funny how they tell you NOW that Birth Control can indeed cause anxiety) Started at 25mg, increased to 50 mg and 100 mg in 2007. They made me too sleepy so decreased back to 50mg until 2009. Reduced to 25 mg in 2010.

Oct 2010 - Decided to come off Zoloft to try and have children. Didn't know anything about tapering because apparently, my doctor didn't know about it either. WDs included heart palpitations, dizziness, tinnitus etc. Decided to go back on Zoloft within 2 weeks of stopping.

January 2011 - Knowing a little more about tapering, I decided to stop taking taking Zoloft with my doctors help again. She told me to hurry and taper in 4 weeks because the tinnitus could become permanent. I thought this was too fast so I took another month to taper.

March 30, 2011 - Last Zoloft pill.

Had a little dizziness & sadness, but felt fine until Aug 2011 after a relative died.

Since then symptoms include brain shivers, migraine headaches on right side of head, warm/hot sensations on right side of head and ears, internal vibrations, tremor, muscle twitches, strange sensations in right side of head, anxiety, just don't feel like myself :(

#28 CharlieBrown

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Posted 15 November 2013 - 12:57 PM

I'm so glad I read this, I continue to worry about never ending symtoms. But I've read that the body regenerates most cells in 7 years. I don't know how true it really is. But there are signs of progress when I look for them.

I still worry about the effect on 5ht-7 receptors that the inactivating antagonist risperidone has done to me. But I have hopes for the resilience of the body and neuro plasticity. Creating new synaptic connections as I grow.


Prescribed Various SSRI's, Benzodiazepines and Risperidone in 2009 for Anxiety.

Tapered off SSRI's within one year. Abrupt ending with Risperidone. No current prescriptions.

Transient but frequent Anhedonia and Akathisia.


#29 Bellisimo

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Posted 03 January 2014 - 06:13 PM

Iam so glad to read this story!! I realise many things will change in life while going thru this but i soo want to be good in the end, i pray everyday ( even tho i dont really believe in any god) i just pray (if there is anyone out there who can hear me) that i will be recovered one day. I can for sure handle depression, up and downs and so on , but everything else hard to handle :(


2007: was put on citalopram 10mg 1week then raised to 20mg.

2008: Doc decided me to quit, tapered down in like 2 weeks i think it was.

2008: Didnt work, got major issuses, went back on citalopram 10mg, then 20mg, then 40mg.

2009: Reduced dose to 20mg

2010: Was stabile on 20mg

2011: Tried CT, which ended up me going crazy and sick, went back on citalopram 20mg

2012: When I got stabile on citalopram again i decided once for all to quit this medicine, since docs schedule never worked and CT not either I made my own tapering schedule and reduced the medicine over a year.

2012: from 20mg to 10mg was ok. Then I cut the pill into 5mg, and last 2,5mg and stayed on 5mg for many months also 2,5mg.

2013/August: Took my last pill 2,5mg, was fine a few weeks then withdrawal hit me bad

2014: Still going thru withdrawals, been succesfully free 10months!

2014: July.  been ssri fri 11months. Very much healed, going for 12 months yey


#30 Zoe

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Posted 06 January 2014 - 05:53 PM

Thanks for posting this again- gives hope to all of us :)


 

Jan. 1994 Pamelor

2000 switched to Zoloft 

2011 Zoloft pooped out- Dr. switched me directly to Lexapro15mg -had a horrible 6mths

2013 upped Lexapro to 20 mgs-pooped out

June 2013 Dr. added 150 Wellbutrin to Lexapro.

July 2013 Switched back to Zoloft 100mgs.Was still taking Wellbutrin. Lots of anxiety from the Wellbutrin

July 2013 Started to wean Wellbutrin- off by Sept.

Oct. 2013 added 400 mgs of Neurotin to the Zoloft

Jan 2014 Tapered off of the Zoloft and onto Prozac 30 mgs. Also still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Feb 2014 Reduced Prozac to 13 mgs. Still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Aug. 2014 Prozac 13 mgs. Finished with Neurotin. .7 Risperadol

 


#31 btdt

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Posted 18 January 2014 - 11:02 PM

 

This is a great story, and gives hope to the long termers.

I am now at 70 months, so close to 6 years and still not recovered, though there is absolutely a lot of progression.

I feel I have entered some plateau phase again so look forwrd to the next phase of recovery from protacted WD. I really REALLY hope that (almost) complete recovery is possible for all of us, albeit a very long term process.

 

I will definately post my story when I feel recovered. If I will recover, I am sure anybody will.

You are one month ahead of me how very interesting...I quit Nov 18 2007 wishing you healing... and peace.

 

Is my face red... yes it is... I thought I was 7 years off the drugs... and I am not it is going on 7 now... if I had not read this post I would have thought I was in my 7th year... so much for my cognitive abilities.. yep they are hit and miss but the fact that I did not see this for months is really ... makes me lose confidence in myself... but can't get stuck there too long it is not like I did not know I have issues with my mind I know this... I just can't accept it. I make a lot of mistakes some days cannot make a batch of muffins like today with destroying the kitchen ... but other days I am almost normal... for a time. 

I hope I am getting better tho some days if feels progressive. :(


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/


#32 MaggieMayhem

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Posted 13 May 2014 - 08:51 PM

Thank you, Silver Star.  This read came for me just in time, I am off the meds for 7 months and am experiencing bouts of depression, anxiety, mood swings, and writing those checks that my body cant handle cashing.  Support helps, but not everyone understands, therefore Ive lost a tremendous amount of people from my life, but then again, just as you said- things get bad (losing people) then the sun comes out and you realize that theres good at the end of the tunnel (they weren't worth keeping around anyway).   Anyway, thanks for the great read- you are not alone and either are we.  Bless you and Good Luck in the future..  Hugs to you..

 

Maggs Mayhem

Pristiqe

Zoloft

Wellbutrin

Xanax


Maggie Mayhem

 

I cant begin to tell you the dosage, milligrams or dates OF ANY KIND.   One of the trophies I walked away with is the inability to remember numbers.  Birthdays, Anniversaries, Length of Time, Dosage, Phone Numbers, heck, Im lucky I can tell you my age..

 

 

Pristiqe

Zoloft

Cymbalta

Xanax

 

Cold Turkey


#33 Altostrata

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Posted 14 May 2014 - 11:27 AM

Hi, Maggie! Please start a topic for yourself in the Introductions forum so we can get to know you.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#34 Chrissy

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Posted 27 July 2014 - 04:13 AM

Thank loss leader for his update iggy please, did you used to be on pp as well?
Nov 2007 - Feb 2010 prozac 20mg
Feb 2010 - April 2010 prozac 40mg

Cold Turkey Prozac April 2010 due to severe cramps/bleeding

Severe withdrawal symptoms thereafter and protracted withdrawal continuing.

#35 areyouthere

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Posted 04 August 2014 - 06:35 PM

Thanks for posting this and especially for highlighting that part in red. It is nice to hear that when we experience those glorious moments of returned function of some sort & it disappears as soon as it appeared that there is a documented case/ example of that function returning for good eventually. 

 

That knowledge fells very wonderful.

 

Thanks again!

 

RU :)


Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone
1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox.
b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b]
2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax
November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b
Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax
My mantra " go slow & with the flow "
3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day)

4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13  3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day.

10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro.

1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 

1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. :) 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut.


#36 rainfall

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Posted 25 August 2014 - 04:14 AM

Wonderful to read Lossleader's story and update. New here, now 2.8 years post withdrawal 200 mg Zoloft and a few other drugs. Healing is happening for me too.  Windows and waves. Steadily increasing energy. 

 

Wishing all on this thread continued healing. Many thanks again.


1994 Prozac (became suicidal, manic, hospitalized)

1994-2008 every SSRI + wellbutrin, effexor, ativan, topamax, naltrexone, several benozo (2-5 meds daily)

2008 cold turkey klonopin: BP dropped; trip to ER; never told addictive; 3 yrs. ear ringing, dead feeling, panic, sound, light sensitivity

2009-2010 cont'd on Zoloft 200 mg + wellbutrin 300 mg; topamax

2010 AMA; no information cold turkey all meds

8 months wild energy, creativity, impulsive, crying + visions

Month 8 post withdrawal began extreme fatigue, flu-liike sx, dark depair, flat and hypersensitive

2014 now 2.8 yrs post WD 50% time flu-like; despair, anhedonia. 

 

** 3 months post WD bulimia stopped for 1st time since beginning prozac; suddenly, no obsessive thoughts of food.

No Idea SSRIs were cause; have not heard others have this, but it's real: IATROGENIC BULIMIA.