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steveo: 11 years of Citalopram


steveo

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Hi Guys. I'm Steven, 28 and from the UK.

 

I'll try and be brief.

 

I've suffered anxiety all my life since I was 5 years old.

 

At 17 years old I was put on Escitalopram, which later was changed to Citalopram (cost cutting measurement over here in the UK) and stayed on for 11 years until October 2012 last year. I tapered off VERY VERY VERY slowly. No problems there!

 

But things got worse and my mood was getting terrible. It all came to a head this year early January when I had the biggest panic attack of my entire life. It was out of my control. 3 Months on almost and I've had a complete breakdown since. I've had to move back in with my dad. I'm now worse than I've ever been in my entire life. I'm badly agoraphobic and scared of my own shadow. I've had daily and constant anxiety for these last three months. It's been hell.

 

On top of that I came straight back on Citalopram and those doses have been changing alot. 2 weeks ago I couldn't take anymore and figured that Citalopram was no longer working so I'm now 2 weeks into Escitalopram.

 

I truely believe that being on the meds for 11 years has ruined my brain! Citalopram no longer seems to be working for me. Escitalopram isn't really working yet. I'm in hell.

 

What can I do??

2002 (age 17) - 10mg Escitalopram

2006 - Changed to 20mg Citalopram

2012 - Slowly spent 7 months tapering

October 2012 - Stopped completely

Oct 2012 - Jan 2013 - Felt different

Jan 2013 - Had BIGGEST panic attack out of the blue

Jan 5th 2013 - back on 20mg Cit

Jan 12th 2013 - Lowered to 10mg Cit

Feb 1st 2013 - Upped to 20mg Cit

Feb 16th 2013 - Told to up to 30mg and start Pregabalin

March 1st 2013 - Stopped Pregabalin

March 5th 2013 - Lowered to 20mg Cit

March 11th 2013 - Changed to Escitalopram 10mg as I tried to commit suicide as I could no longer handle what Citalopram was doing to me.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Steveo,

 

welcome to the forum.

 

I'm so very sorry you're struggling and I am a fellow citalopram victim.

 

It's not uncommon to experience delayed withdrawal symptoms, even after a very slow taper.

 

Sometimes reinstatement doesn't work.

 

I see you stopped citalopram completely in October 2012.

 

When did you go back on it, and what dosages did you take? For how long?

July 2001 prescribed 20mg citalopram for depression;
On and off meds from 2003-2006.
February 2006 back on 20mg citalopram and stayed on it until my last attempt at tapering in September 2011.
By far the worst withdrawal symptoms ever. Reinstated to 20mg citalopram
October 2012 - found this forum!
Nov 2012 to Feb 2013 did 10% taper, got doen to 11mg - was going great until stressful situation. Cortisol levels hit the roof, hideous insomnia forced me to updose to 20mg.
March 2016 - close to 100% back to normal!



****** I am not a medical practitioner, any advice I give comes from my own experience or reading and is only my perspective ******

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Steven,

 

I'm sorry for all you've been through and are going through. You've come to a good place for great advice and warm, friendly support.

 

If you will add your drug history by following instructions in this link, it will help those wishing to offer advice:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Alto is truly an expert, IMHO, when it comes to these meds and will be along shortly.

 

Welcome to the community, I'm glad you found us!

 

Tezza

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Hi Steveo,

 

I know how you feel. I came off both Citalpram and escitalpram. The both used to work for me previously and no longer do anything for me, in fact they both make me worse now. I was also on them for 10 years. I've been off SSRIs since Feb. 15th, 2013. The withdrawal really is horrible to go through. I started a low dose of Lamictal, 5 mg, which is a mood stabilizer. I've been on it since March 2nd. It has helped quite a bit with my anxiety, depression, and withdrawal. I don't know if it would work for you. It definitely has taken the edge off for me. You aren't doomed though, you will get through this. It may seem impossible right now, but you will get better.

Celexa 40mg from 2004-Oct. 2012. Had to stop cold turkey due to Serotonin Syndrome. Tried to reinstate 3 weeks after ct, but had an allergic reaction to it.

 

Amitriptyline 25 mg from 11/07/12-11/30/12. Stopped due to inability to stay awake and made anxiety worse.

 

Lexapro started at 5mg and slowly increased to 15mg Dec. 8 2012-Feb. 15th 2013. Had to stop cold turkey due to Serotonin Toxicity.

 

Lamictal 5mg 3/2/13 to try to stabilize my nerves. Seems to be helping with the brain zaps, emotional rollercoaster, and DP/DR.

 

Find a reason to smile everyday :-)

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Hi Steveo,

 

Nice to meet you but sorry it is under such trying circumstances!

 

I am also a Celexa survivor, and had problems with a restart as well, and that was after an apparently successful cold turkey (don't anyone try this please!) In the process of learning about the downsides of antidepressants (and then later other drugs to "treat" the problem, which didn't help) I found out there is something called a "kindling reaction", which is a reaction that can happen on restart. Dr. Glenmullen writes a little about this in one of his books, it might be helpful to check it out. As basildev so rightly points out, restart doesn't work for everyone unfortunately. Also, altering the doses while on the drug can wreak havoc with your nervous system, as you have found out. It is no different than in a taper, your body naturally seeks an equilibrium it can't achieve when the doses are rapidly changing and so chaos ensues. What you are feeling is sadly pretty normal for the circumstances.

 

Hopefully a mod will be along soon to sort out what to do. Just wanted to say, no matter how bad it is, it will get better.

 

Unfolding Sky

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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  • Administrator

Welcome, steveo.

 

steveo, did your symptoms change when you changed your dosages of citalopram and escilatopram?

 

What is your recent dosage history?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi and welcome...

 

I was on Lexapro and I am on Celexa now. I had luck with Lexapro in treating anxiety & depression. I tried to get off of it twice and upon reinstatement it 'pooped out', so I did a taper. It was hellacious. You are not alone in this type of scenario.

 

As far as Celexa goes, for myself there is WD which I have decided not to attempt for a good while.

 

When anxiety (panic attacks) Or the depression became so bad I did take a tricyclic and it helped immensely.

 

Feeling Alone and Alto have talked about taking Lamictal. I am not familiar with this med, only with tricyclics and ssri's.

 

You may need to stay away from ssri's. Does not seem to help from what you have shared.

 

So sorry you are experiencing this...

 

Nikki

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Thankyou so so much for all your lovely replies. I didn't expect this much helpful love and support.

 

I'm so happy I've found this place as nowhere else will listen or believe my concerns about my long term drug problems!!!

 

I've never been anywhere close to this bad in my entire life. I've added my drug history to my signature. I'm in HELL and I don't know what to do. I spent most of 2012 slowly tapering off Citalopram. I felt absolutely fine. When I took my last pill in October I was OK. During October to Jan, I started feeling different. My mood lowered and anxiety came back differently. In Jan this year I had the biggest panic attack of my life. You can see all the dosage changes in my Sig since then.

 

The Citalopram was NOT working this time round. I was feeling worse. I eventually had to quit my job and move back home with my dad as I wasn't able to function. Finally I tried to kill myself and self harmed a few weeks back as I couldn't take feeling this scared anymore! I told my doctor that I don't think the Citalopram is working for me anyway so I asked to be put on Escitalopram. I changed 10 days ago. The side effects from changing were HORRIBLE for a further 4 days. All I could do was curl up in a small ball and cry all day long. I was being sick and couldn't eat either.

 

That's now gone but I still feel horrible and so so scared. I feel tired and lathargic. I am extremely agoraphobic for the first time in my life. Vivid dreams are destroying me. My depression is terrible. Depersonalisation and derealisation is constant. I have NEVER EVER EVER felt this bad in my life or even close.

 

I don't know what to do!!! I put myself back on the SSRI's in a panic. Now almost 3 months later and many dose changes, I'm still no better and on top of that I have side effects of the medication that's destroying me. I'm on diazapam too for the crisis.

 

I'm scared to come off the medication as I don't know how long withdrawal will last. I'm worried my neurotransmitters have been severely affected by this. The only thing I can see sense in doing is quickly getting myself back on the SSRI's which don't seem to work though!!!! I'm willing to try one more SSRI after this.

 

No health care professional understands this situation. My doctor doesn't know enough about it. They will simply tell me that it's a relapse. THIS IS NOT A RELAPSE! This is some severe damage.

 

Do I stick with the escitalopram for a bit longer? Do I come off the SSRI's completely and put up with hell for a year?! I've heard conflicting advice about taking vitamins and suppliments. I was planning on trying to come off the meds, trying a 5htp and tyronsine mix but this website tells me not too!

 

I just want some sort of a life back!!!

 

PLEASE PLEASE help and advise me as NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD will listen to me!!!! I'm literally begging for help off you guys. I understand a lot too as I have a medical degree so fully understand the process of the medications and the drugs.

 

PLEASE HELP ME THOUGH GUYS! I'm literally in floods of tears writing this as I feel you are my last option for support and advise on this!!

 

 

Thankyou so so much

 

Steven x

2002 (age 17) - 10mg Escitalopram

2006 - Changed to 20mg Citalopram

2012 - Slowly spent 7 months tapering

October 2012 - Stopped completely

Oct 2012 - Jan 2013 - Felt different

Jan 2013 - Had BIGGEST panic attack out of the blue

Jan 5th 2013 - back on 20mg Cit

Jan 12th 2013 - Lowered to 10mg Cit

Feb 1st 2013 - Upped to 20mg Cit

Feb 16th 2013 - Told to up to 30mg and start Pregabalin

March 1st 2013 - Stopped Pregabalin

March 5th 2013 - Lowered to 20mg Cit

March 11th 2013 - Changed to Escitalopram 10mg as I tried to commit suicide as I could no longer handle what Citalopram was doing to me.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Steven,

 

I really am sorry this is happening to you. I believe you when you say it's not a relapse, we all do.

 

Unfortunately, you can have withdrawals from a cold turkey switch from one med to another. You've made a few med changes so its going to take some time for your CNS to get adjusted.

 

You are right, there are very few health care professionals that know what is going on with withdrawal. This is a sad thing for us. If I understand correctly, you are under 30 yrs of age. This is in your favor, as older people tend to have a harder time stabilizing.

 

Be very gentle with yourself during this time. Please don't try to start another medicine, it would probably make things worse.

 

It took me at least six months to feel stable after I left off and reinstated my med. There is hope so don't give up.

 

We are here for you and understand how difficult this is.

 

Alto has done much research, she is truly a wonderful and knowledgeable person.

 

Take care and post often,

 

Tezza

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Thankyou Tezza.

 

Do you believe for now, I should stick with Escitalopram. I have had alot of dosage changes over these last 3 months. The escitalopram is alot milder to me than coming back on the Citalopram was. I have an appointment with a consultant psychiatrist on the 9th of April.

 

And yes you are correct. I'm 28 years old. I thought that was not in my favour as I started these drugs at 17 and I figured that a developing brain shouldn't be given a chemical altering medication.

 

I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm so confused and let down and mostly I'm very scared.

 

Steven x

2002 (age 17) - 10mg Escitalopram

2006 - Changed to 20mg Citalopram

2012 - Slowly spent 7 months tapering

October 2012 - Stopped completely

Oct 2012 - Jan 2013 - Felt different

Jan 2013 - Had BIGGEST panic attack out of the blue

Jan 5th 2013 - back on 20mg Cit

Jan 12th 2013 - Lowered to 10mg Cit

Feb 1st 2013 - Upped to 20mg Cit

Feb 16th 2013 - Told to up to 30mg and start Pregabalin

March 1st 2013 - Stopped Pregabalin

March 5th 2013 - Lowered to 20mg Cit

March 11th 2013 - Changed to Escitalopram 10mg as I tried to commit suicide as I could no longer handle what Citalopram was doing to me.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Steven,

 

If I were you, I would stick to the Escitalopram for now and try to stabilize, which I fully believe that you will do. The more changes you make, the longer it seems to take to stabilize.

 

Alto is the best one for advice so if she tells you something different, please disregard my suggestions.

 

I completely understand you being scared because I've been very scared too. I did finally stabilize, though, it took me several months to reach a point that I felt a lot better.

 

You are going to get better, time and patience are two very important factors in the process.

 

The brain strives for homeostasis and your youth will play a big role in helping that along. As we get older, even a skinned knee takes longer to heal. I speak from experience, I'm 55 years old.

 

Since you say the Escitalopram was milder for you to come back on, I think it's likely you will stabilize moe quickly on it than to try a different med.

 

Last year, I watched a show on TV about very young children in Foster Care that had been put on multiple medications. I remember one child that had been on 13 different meds. She had been taken off all of them and seemed happy and intelligent. The meds included anti-psychotic and mood stabilizers.

 

The show featured several children ranging from under 10 years old to teens. All had been on several meds and had stopped taking all meds. They all seemed to be doing very well. I hope this is encouraging for you.

 

Tezza

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Thankyou so much Tezza. I will try my best to stick with this dose and this medication.

 

It's a very scary place I'm in right now. Having to put my entire life on hold.

 

I want to come off the medication at somepoint. Doctors have told me it's likely I'll be on them for life. This scares me slightly.

 

I look forward to hearing what others have to say.

 

Many thanks

 

Steven x

2002 (age 17) - 10mg Escitalopram

2006 - Changed to 20mg Citalopram

2012 - Slowly spent 7 months tapering

October 2012 - Stopped completely

Oct 2012 - Jan 2013 - Felt different

Jan 2013 - Had BIGGEST panic attack out of the blue

Jan 5th 2013 - back on 20mg Cit

Jan 12th 2013 - Lowered to 10mg Cit

Feb 1st 2013 - Upped to 20mg Cit

Feb 16th 2013 - Told to up to 30mg and start Pregabalin

March 1st 2013 - Stopped Pregabalin

March 5th 2013 - Lowered to 20mg Cit

March 11th 2013 - Changed to Escitalopram 10mg as I tried to commit suicide as I could no longer handle what Citalopram was doing to me.

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Hi Steven,

 

I too am rather young. I'm 29 years old and started taking meds around 18. I've been going thru hell since Sept of 2012 due to switching from Citalpram to Escitalpram. It took me a good 5-6 weeks to stabilize on Escitalpram after a cold turkey from Citalpram. The Escitalpram worked good for me til my doc ignorantly increased my dose and my body couldnt handle the excess serotonin. I'm now on a very low dose mood stabilizer, which is helping. If you stay on the Escitalpram, don't give up. It just may take a lil longer to start working. You can read my thread here and you can see that even though it's slow progress, I'm much better now. Maybe it can give you some hope!

 

Feeling Alone

XOXO

Celexa 40mg from 2004-Oct. 2012. Had to stop cold turkey due to Serotonin Syndrome. Tried to reinstate 3 weeks after ct, but had an allergic reaction to it.

 

Amitriptyline 25 mg from 11/07/12-11/30/12. Stopped due to inability to stay awake and made anxiety worse.

 

Lexapro started at 5mg and slowly increased to 15mg Dec. 8 2012-Feb. 15th 2013. Had to stop cold turkey due to Serotonin Toxicity.

 

Lamictal 5mg 3/2/13 to try to stabilize my nerves. Seems to be helping with the brain zaps, emotional rollercoaster, and DP/DR.

 

Find a reason to smile everyday :-)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I Steven,

 

I agree 100% with Tezza.

 

The problem is the more changes you make in your dosages/meds, the more destabilized your CNS becomes.

 

Whether you go up a dose or down a dose or switch to a completely different drug, these are all HUGE changes to your brain chemistry and as a result your CNS is fighting to maintain equilibrium

 

The best thing you can do is hold on and wait it out. I know that's hard because you're in hell and you want to 'fix' this. But we can't hurry our CNS. It will take it's own time to stabilize and the best thing we can give it consistency.

 

I hope you feel better very soon.

July 2001 prescribed 20mg citalopram for depression;
On and off meds from 2003-2006.
February 2006 back on 20mg citalopram and stayed on it until my last attempt at tapering in September 2011.
By far the worst withdrawal symptoms ever. Reinstated to 20mg citalopram
October 2012 - found this forum!
Nov 2012 to Feb 2013 did 10% taper, got doen to 11mg - was going great until stressful situation. Cortisol levels hit the roof, hideous insomnia forced me to updose to 20mg.
March 2016 - close to 100% back to normal!



****** I am not a medical practitioner, any advice I give comes from my own experience or reading and is only my perspective ******

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  • Administrator

steveo, how much escitalopram are you taking? At what time of day? What is your daily symptom pattern?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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10mg Escitalopram which I believe is the same as 20mg Citalopram. Taking same time each day around 10am. I had terrible symptoms changing from Cit to Escit but now I'm on about 10th day of Escit and I feel the same as I did on the Cit. My symptoms include, DP/DR feelings of unreality, extremely sensitive to all stimuli, depressed and quite often suicidal, very vivid dreams which wake me, very tired and lethargic, lack of interest in anything, agorophobia, lack of concentration, I sometimes find myself just staring into space for long periods of time, constant underlying anxiety, increased anxiety attacks, unspecific anxiety (can't find a route cause most of the time), brain fog, sometimes mild anger, frequent crying. It's all mental panic.

 

This is in extreme contrast to my first 11 years on SSRIs. Also before the SSRI's I only really had very very mild anxiety and depression. Nothing compared to this. I've never been this bad in my entire life and no stresses brought this on either!! Everything in my life was going absolutely fine. The doctors will tell me it's a relapse but this is BS!

 

I just don't know whether to continue on the SSRI's or ride out the next 12 months off SSRI's and HOPE my neurotransmitters somehow get back to how I was before I started SSRI's back 11 years ago. Tonight I have been curled up on my bed in a ball, crying my eyes out. I don't want this anymore. I have never been anywhere close to being this bad in my life. I tapered off the SSRI's last year REALLY REALLY slowly too! Spent at least half the year trying to withdraw slowly slowly.

 

Please help!

 

Steven

 

EDIT - Might be worth mentioning I'm on a VERY low dose of Diazepam also (2mg a day normally about 6pm) But only been on it for a month.

2002 (age 17) - 10mg Escitalopram

2006 - Changed to 20mg Citalopram

2012 - Slowly spent 7 months tapering

October 2012 - Stopped completely

Oct 2012 - Jan 2013 - Felt different

Jan 2013 - Had BIGGEST panic attack out of the blue

Jan 5th 2013 - back on 20mg Cit

Jan 12th 2013 - Lowered to 10mg Cit

Feb 1st 2013 - Upped to 20mg Cit

Feb 16th 2013 - Told to up to 30mg and start Pregabalin

March 1st 2013 - Stopped Pregabalin

March 5th 2013 - Lowered to 20mg Cit

March 11th 2013 - Changed to Escitalopram 10mg as I tried to commit suicide as I could no longer handle what Citalopram was doing to me.

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  • Administrator

What is the daily pattern of the anxiety? Is it worse at some times?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Very bad upon waking. This stays bad until around midday. Sometimes it can remain all day. Worsens early evening until I'm in bed when it's quiet and all I have to do is go to sleep.

 

It's there all waking hours really but worse at mornings and evenings. Any sort of change at all makes it worse.

2002 (age 17) - 10mg Escitalopram

2006 - Changed to 20mg Citalopram

2012 - Slowly spent 7 months tapering

October 2012 - Stopped completely

Oct 2012 - Jan 2013 - Felt different

Jan 2013 - Had BIGGEST panic attack out of the blue

Jan 5th 2013 - back on 20mg Cit

Jan 12th 2013 - Lowered to 10mg Cit

Feb 1st 2013 - Upped to 20mg Cit

Feb 16th 2013 - Told to up to 30mg and start Pregabalin

March 1st 2013 - Stopped Pregabalin

March 5th 2013 - Lowered to 20mg Cit

March 11th 2013 - Changed to Escitalopram 10mg as I tried to commit suicide as I could no longer handle what Citalopram was doing to me.

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  • Administrator

Do you feel any different after you take Lexapro at 10 a.m.? How do you feel at about 3 p.m.?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I dont think I feel any different at all.

 

Mid afternoon is normally the best time of the day for me though, but thats because it's been a while since I woke up, and it's a while away from the evening when my anxiety increases more.

2002 (age 17) - 10mg Escitalopram

2006 - Changed to 20mg Citalopram

2012 - Slowly spent 7 months tapering

October 2012 - Stopped completely

Oct 2012 - Jan 2013 - Felt different

Jan 2013 - Had BIGGEST panic attack out of the blue

Jan 5th 2013 - back on 20mg Cit

Jan 12th 2013 - Lowered to 10mg Cit

Feb 1st 2013 - Upped to 20mg Cit

Feb 16th 2013 - Told to up to 30mg and start Pregabalin

March 1st 2013 - Stopped Pregabalin

March 5th 2013 - Lowered to 20mg Cit

March 11th 2013 - Changed to Escitalopram 10mg as I tried to commit suicide as I could no longer handle what Citalopram was doing to me.

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Thankyou for your input Marmite.

 

It's nice to hear similar stories (well it's not nice to know that people are suffering and have suffered!!)

 

For now I am trying to reinstate the medication hoping that it will stablize me (unless otherwise advised from those wiser and more experienced than me aka the people on here).

 

As you can see from my medication history this last 3 months alone... I have been all over the place so I do need some stability.

 

I think my main problem is that I didn't expect to feel so awful 3 months after complete withdrawal. I expected to be on a steady road. I had no idea I'd get worse. Then on top of that I had no idea that going back on Citalopram would knock seven shades of s**t out of me!!

 

Escitalopram is twice as strong which is why 10mg of this is 20mg Citalopram. I heard it's purer and going to be kinder on me.

 

Still more than open to any suggestions and advice on here!!!

 

 

Steven

2002 (age 17) - 10mg Escitalopram

2006 - Changed to 20mg Citalopram

2012 - Slowly spent 7 months tapering

October 2012 - Stopped completely

Oct 2012 - Jan 2013 - Felt different

Jan 2013 - Had BIGGEST panic attack out of the blue

Jan 5th 2013 - back on 20mg Cit

Jan 12th 2013 - Lowered to 10mg Cit

Feb 1st 2013 - Upped to 20mg Cit

Feb 16th 2013 - Told to up to 30mg and start Pregabalin

March 1st 2013 - Stopped Pregabalin

March 5th 2013 - Lowered to 20mg Cit

March 11th 2013 - Changed to Escitalopram 10mg as I tried to commit suicide as I could no longer handle what Citalopram was doing to me.

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  • Administrator

My guess is you are suffering from quitting citalopram the first time around, and reinstatement is not working.

 

Escilatopram is somewhat stronger than citalopram, more than twice as strong. You may be taking too much. If I were you, I'd try 9mg for a week and see if symptoms change.

 

Whether escilatopram is "kinder" than citalopram is a matter of individual neurophysiology. Some find it far more activating -- causing anxiety.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Steve,

 

I'm sorry you have to go trough this.

 

I believe you have to stick to your current dose and stabilize on it..wont happen overnight though. Don't lose hope please, you are very young and things will turn around for the better I know.

 

I have taken AD-s for 5 years too and after several attempts to get off - have been agoraphobic and panic stricken for many years - I'm finally off. After a year long micro taper almost a week medication free.

 

It's doable believe me. Please listen to Alto and others.

 

God bless you.

 

- O

1995-2008 Low dose of Klonopin

2008/09 Tolerance WD

2009/01 C/T of Klonopin

2009/3 30 mg Mirtazepin

2010/03 switch 60 mg Lexapro

2011/3 switch 60mg Cymbalta

2011/8 Quick taper of Cymbalta

2011/09 Back to 30 mg

2012/02 Start slow taper

2103/03 Medication free

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  • 3 weeks later...

Reading more and more stories of citalopram gone bad makes me so sad and angry. Im so sorry youre going through this. I was on it for over 10 years as well and after a too short taper, reinstatement did not help. Withdrawal started around 18 months ago (Im not done with my taper from the reinstatement) and while Im still not healed and I still have very difficult weepy days, I can honestly say that Im feeling much better than I did 18 months ago.

 

Of course I can't tell the future, but I also need to see hope in the progress. I hope that soon you can see some progress as well and that can serve as some sort of comfort.

 

As silly as it may seem, sometimes forcing myself to smile while Im crying helps a bit.

2003-2010 up and down 10-40mg celexa for anxiety
2/2011 10mg
8/2011 5mg for 3 wks, then stopped completely.
middle of night waking after apx 1-2 hours of sleep (nightly), panic/jitteriness after waking
11/11 back on 30mg celexa, ambien/many supplements-insomnia/panic.
2/12 30mg celexa, many supplements (Magnesium eliminated morning tight chest/jitteriness). Off ambien!
7/12 20mg
8/12 15 mg(sleep improving,mood pos)
12/12 2.3 mg got liquid celexa!
1/13 2.1 mg
3/13 1.2 mg
4/13 down to .6 too quickly- cortisol spikes, middle of night waking, night sweats...
4/13 held at .6 for 3 weeks so far. Off most supplements as well. Withdrawal depression almost gone!

7/13 OFF OF CELEXA!!!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi Steven,

 

I too was on Citalopram for 10 years. I'm 29, and for the majority of the time, I was on 60mg Cipramil (Citalopram) as well as a number of other psychotropic medications. Little did I know how I was hurting myself, instead of getting better! My psychiatrist just kept me on maintenance meds for years, and there was no talk of real recovery. I thought I would be on meds for the rest of my life. I thought I'd never have children because I'd never be able to go off my meds long enough (I still don't have any...but I could!). I wasn't even "better" on the medication, I still had bad depressions that would tear my life apart, time after time, several times a year in some cases. I thought that's just how my life was going to be.

 

I got very sick from my medication. I was physically sick in bed for six months, a few years ago. Many doctor and hospital visits and no one could find out what was wrong. I tried to go off my meds then, to see if they were making me sick, but my psychiatrist took me off them too quickly and my mood was unbearable and I couldn't do it, I went back to my normal dose. Some reiki helped and I went back to work. Then I started having difficulty breathing.

 

Just over a year ago my depression got so bad I sought emergency help. Another psychiatrist told me I had been wrongly diagnosed all those years ago and I shouldn't be on so many medications, in fact, I would probably be better without them altogether. My GP pointed out that 60mg Cipramil is a very high dose and toxic over a long period of time.

 

I take nothing now. Been off everything for roughly a year. I aggressively supplemented with magnesium when I was going off Cipramil. I went off it in about 6 weeks (no doctor advice, just used my own senses). It was pretty easy actually, magnesium saved my life. Very few withdrawal symptoms, just the odd headache whenever I lowered my dose but it would pass quickly enough. Because the tapering was made so easy, I wasn't scared anymore. I look back now and realise I was freed from an addiction. I never once, in 10 goddamn years, considered that I had an addiction.

 

I feel great right now. The last year has been a rollercoaster because of a very difficult and stressful relationship...but now that's over and I feel like I am past all that, I feel really great. I feel better than I have in years, and in fact I feel like the old me, the pre-nineteen me, is all starting to come back.

 

I'll always have my ups and downs, but I'm fine with that. I rather just deal, the right way. Supplements, therapy, nerves and balls of steel - that's all you need. The majority of people diagnosed with depression and treated with medication DO NOT need them, and in fact, the now widespread use of the likes of SSRIs is actually creating many more cases of treatment-resistant depression. The majority of sufferers can be helped through their depressions in other ways, or treated in the short term, with proper dosing and after-care.

 

I'm not telling you to get off your meds, Steven, but I am saying that what lies beyond meds is not what you're afraid it's going to be. What lies beyond the meds, is you.

 

Please feel free to ask me any questions.

 

Claire x

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  • Administrator

Hello, AliceInWonderpants.

 

Good to hear you've done so well going off citalopram. Please open an Introductions topic for yourself and tell us more.

 

You are one of the lucky ones to get over withdrawal symptoms so quickly!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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steveo

 

Both drugs are not agreeing with you. They are from the very same family. And yes the anxiety that ensues after taking these drugs is very strong and different than it may have been for us originally.

 

When getting off Lexapro which was a very difficult thing, I finally ended up taking Imipramine which is a tricyclic. It really took the edge off for both anxiety and depression.

 

When the ssri's are no longer working and members are having such a terrible time of it I think to recommend it in a small dose. Some people here have taken Lamictal which is for a bi-polar condition. I has helped some members.

 

The tricyclics are for anxiety/depression. I feel hesitant recommending medications as they have a mind of their own, but the type of suffering you are going thru is gut wrenching and doesn't have to be like that.

 

You tried reinstating and it is not working, someone suggested Lamictal and I am suggesting Imipramine which should help you calm down and feel better.... You can start off with 5mgs. it goes up to 200mgs.

 

As with all drugs, try to tiniest amount to see if there is some relief.

 

It is very sad and maddening that we have to take another drug to get some relief but sometimes the quality of our lives is greatly diminished by the suffering.

 

Alto knows about Lamictal (and just about every other drug out there) and I know what I've taken and the effects. I have taken Lexapro, I am on Celexa and Imipramine.

 

I hope this helps you.

 

Hugs and hand in there, you have choices.

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Steveo, it sounds to me like your seemingly successful taper off of Citalopram wasn't so successful after all as you began having withdrawal symptoms almost immediately. Like Alto, I believe you are still going through Citalopram withdrawal and now the picture has been clouded by the addition of other drugs.

 

At this point in time, decreasing the dose of Lexapro by 1 mg. and trying that out for at least four full days may be your best bet. I would strongly advise against adding any other medications at this time. You've been through so many dose and drug changes that adding another psychotropic drug at this time would just jeopardize your stability even farther.

 

There is no doubt that these drugs have done some damage, but please be assured that it isn't permanent. Eventually, with time, patience, and a healthy life style, you'll be able to get off antidepressants and live a normal life.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

....

EDIT - Might be worth mentioning I'm on a VERY low dose of Diazepam also (2mg a day normally about 6pm) But only been on it for a month.

 

Very bad upon waking. This stays bad until around midday. Sometimes it can remain all day. Worsens early evening until I'm in bed when it's quiet and all I have to do is go to sleep.

 

It's there all waking hours really but worse at mornings and evenings. Any sort of change at all makes it worse.

 

Anxiety in the morning is a typical withdrawal symptom pattern. I also wonder if you might not be having a paradoxical reaction to diazepam in the evening.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Steveo I just wanted to offer you some support and encouragement. Many many of us have been where you are through too fast SSRI withdrawal, I agree with others here who've suggested stabilizing on the drug you're on. It feels like hell right now, but it won't last forever, you will feel better with patience and taking advice from people here with lots of experience.

*** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***





http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/
Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007.
Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. 

A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido.

 

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