Looking for strength

[piscesrising]

I've been off lexapro for 9 months now after being on SSRI's for 13 years. The last 2 months have been scary bad, like where I feel hopeless and that it will only get worse, not better. I"ve done so many things over the years and these last 9 months to try to manage or fix or help my symptoms of mood swings, insomnia, depression, EXHAUSTION, anxiety, panic attacks and it seems nothing has made much of a dent. I've worked with my doctor and naturopath and gynecologist (hormones?) and counselor and no one seems to know what to do but I can't function like this and honestly am afraid I"ll have to get on disability. I cry at work and cry every day and even with 8 hours of sleep I feel terrible and have to lock my office door and sleep on the floor during lunch I"m soooooo tired and I don't know why. I've had so many tests done, except a sleep study. My naturopath wants me to try a whole new regime of supplements after my last test results of super high dopamine and seretonin (which I thought was weird-but high serotonin has same symptoms as low and high dopamine not good..anxiety etc), but I've lost faith in her after years of trying and failing with SO MANY THINGS. And it is soooo expensive and I just had to cut some hours at work because I am not managing my life well. 

I feel overwhelmed and alone. My close friends seem to be going away because I"m doing so poorly, it's hard to be around me when I am a downer mess all the time and I"m tired of saying I"m not doing well. 

I've never isolated this much. My house is a mess-I always clean. I have no desire to work out anymore. I"m in recovery from drugs and alcohol and part of me wants to just give up and start using again, that it would be easier. 

Sorry I'm such a downer. Just scared. Helps to see I"m not alone though. 

[GiaK]

dear piscerising...

 

I did a post on the blog a bit ago...about autonomic dysfunction...it's really what most of us are dealing with when we have protracted withdrawals...

 

I really think that understanding the broad view is helpful and can help the healing process...this can be a long journey, but people heal...all the time...

 

see if this helps at all:

 

Protracted psychiatric drug withdrawal syndrome, chronic illness, CFS, Fibromyalgia. Yeah, they all have things in common.

http://beyondmeds.com/2013/07/08/psych-drug-withdrawal-cfs-fibromyalgia/

 

for me, understanding that we will get better...even if it takes a good long time has been critical.

 

peace to you

[GiaK]

naturopaths etc...rarely understand the full picture...and a lot of what they throw at us can make us worse as well...and I know that is not comforting, but it's important to know so that you can help your naturopath help you

[Meimeiquest]

How did the idea of sleep study come up? Being diagnosed/treated for sleep apnea has truly changed my life. Right now, I am "that tired" again from withdrawal, but if you have any risk factors, I would look into it before giving up my job. Two sisters and I have husbands who swore we didn't pause in our breathing, but sleep studies said we did. Holistic dr. missed it. I was told the real damage from sleep apnea is the tiny bit of adrenaline that is secreted with each event. My heart goes out to you...I know you're in a very tough place.

[piscesrising]

@GiaK: thank you, I will read the article, yes I think most of what I need is hope. People say "I had a bad day" and Im thinking "It's been a bad year!" or this too shall pass BUT WHEN?! Also I don't know if I should stop any supplementation then with my naturopath. I think the next suggestions were Sam-e and amino acids and two other things I'm not sure of.

 

@Meimeiquest: Thank you for your response too. A friend randomly told me I should get tested a few weeks ago because she had it and had same sleep/tired problems I did. I looked into it and some of the symptoms matched- occasionally waking up gasping for breath, light sleeper up multiple times to use the bathroom during the night and not feeling like I got any rest even after a good 8 hours!

[piscesrising]

@Giak: I'm at work and am unable to watch the videos but does he go into how to treat or help it?

[GiaK]

the book does...healing autonomic dysfunction is really about learning how to live profoundly healthy and coming at it from many directions...which I've been doing and sharing for a long time...so, that is diet, sleep hygiene, things like meditation, contemplation, prayer (whatever works for you) -- appropriate exercise which is going to vary as you recover, something like yoga or stretching that helps the autonomic and lymphatic systems etc...

 

so it may seem overwhelming but one does it in bits as is appropriate...

 

his book is inexpensive...I think it's very helpful to understand the whole picture and he does a good job...

 

we are not exactly like the population he wrote the book for but we have lots and lots of cross over...