Hetacle - clean of all psychoactive drugs i used for 8 months

[hetacle]

Hi everyone,

 

First of all, i'm sorry for my english, as it is not my first language. So if you don't understand me well, feel free to tell me so. It will help me to increase my level ;-)

 

Well my first quote here will be a positive one : " Yes it was a hard, terrible, unthinkable war against myself, But i have survived to antidepressants withdrawal !"

 

I've started to use Paroxetine (or Paxil in english) in February 2005. Because i had OCD, because i was scarred of being infected by AIDS. And after visiting my doctor, he give me my first prescription for this drug. 1 pill per day (20Mg).

I've started to feel better after 2 or 3 weeks, regarding my OCD symptoms. But after several months i started to have OCD again and this time not only about AIDS.

In june 2006 i had a depression, the OCD were too hard to manage, i hated myself to have bad and obssessive thoughts. Then my pyschatric doctor, give Risperdal (1 Mg per day) + Tercian (3 drops per day).

 

The first days with these new medications were awful, for me and for my family. I was in a strange mood and i started to experience some physical side effects like akathisia and i was heavily tired. Anyway my doctor told me to stop tercian at the end of august 2006.

 

Tehn my body and my brain were used to the use of the medications, and it's been like this for several years. Several years during when i was not feeling very bad, but not very good neither.

I stopped risperidone after 2 years, without any tapering time. But, to me i didn't experienced any withdrawal effects.In july 2011, i wanted to stop Paroxetine (Paxil). My doctor told me to pass from 1 pill per day to half a pill per day... Bad Idea, after 2 or 3 days, the brain shocks have started to poison my life. As well as constant anxiety trouble, OCD (again)...

I suffered too much, and i decided to go back to one pill per day... And it was not much better. The months after this withdrawal attempt, i felt depressive, nothing make feel better not even love of my family or love my girlfriend.In January 2012 i started a new love story, and to me it was the starting point of a "new me". My new girlfriend give the strenght and the will to start a new withdrawal attempt. So i started to decrease the medication by myself without any doctor advise this time. I took 1 pill a day, and 3/4 part of a pill the other one and so one during one month. The month after i took 3/4 part of a pill per day... And i decreased the medications following this model until my last "dose" Monday 18th october 2013 8:00 PM.

 

So the withdrawal process started on march 2013, and stopped on february 2013. One year (almost).

One year of struggle. One year of terrible feelings. One terrible and horrible year... During this time i've experienced these withdrawal symptoms :

 

- akathesia

- Anxiety

- Depression

- OCD/Obessessive thoughts

- Cognitive problems/ Memory problems

- Derealization/Depersonalization

- Sexual troubles

 

But, i've gone trought this mass, and i am here to testify that it's possible to be free !

 

And the other reason for wich i'm here, is to help persons who want to liberate themselves from Psychoactive. Talk about it remains the best way to help ourselves.

 

Hetacle

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, hetacle. Thanks for joining us.

 

It sounds like you tapered Paxil from March to October 2013 and suffered fairly severe withdrawal symptoms throughout the process.

 

If I read you right, you alternated dosages within each month: 1 tablet and 3/4 tablet; 3/4 tablet and 1/2 tablet; 1/2 tablet and 1/4 tablet, etc. Is this correct?

 

Do you have any withdrawal symptoms now?

[hetacle]

HI,

 

Actually, i tapered Paxil from March 2012 to February 2013. That's correct i suffered withdrawal symptoms throughout the process.

 

The dosage before i tried to taper was 1 tablet per day during 7 years. Then i modified the dosage like this :

 

March 2012 to April 2012 : 1 tablet a day and 3/4 day the day after, then 1 tablet the day after, then 3/4 tablet the day after

April 2012 to mid June 2012 : 3/4 tablet per day

 mid June 2012 to mid July 2012 : 3/4 tablet a day then 1/2 tablet day the day after, then 3/4 tablet the day after, then 1/2 tablet the day after

Mid july 2012 to september 2012 : 1/2 tablet per day

 

And so on... Sometimes i did not change the dosage after 1 month, but after 6-7 weeks. Because the withdrawal effects were too hard to manage for me.

 

From my point of vue the dosage is not efficient enough, i read on the internet that the better dosage is decrease by 10% each 3 or 4 weeks. But unfortunately, in France, Paxil is only available in tablet, but it's not easy to "divide" the tablets. So i tried to found another solution.

 

Now i have only two withdrawal symptoms which are remaining :

 

- akathesia : When i take some rest in the sofa after work. And when i go to bed, just before sleeping. But now i don't feel this symptom everyday, it seems that my body is healing from this symptom day by day.

 

- Memory troubles : I have this trouble for 4 or 5 years. But maybe it's not only due to Paxil. Now i'm 35 years old, and i guess that my memory is not as efficient as when i had 20 ;-).

So I try to train my memory by doing simple exercices, like crosswords, or try to memorize a list of words and write them in the correct order.

 

To finish, i start to take natural magnesium, and Omega 3 fatty acid. I will tell you if it helps me to recover my memory capacities and if i feel myself better in any way.

 

Have a nice Day

 

Hetacle

[tezza]

Hello Hetacle! Since you only have two symptoms and don't know if memory issue is WD related, or not, you seem to be doing very well.

 

It's great that you want to let others know it is possible and share your way of stopping; however, everyone is different and your method wouldn't be advisable. Alternating doses can actually set WD symptoms off for many people.

 

You've been off Paxil a short time and I hope you don't get delayed withdrawal. It would be a good idea to keep notes, daily, and watch for any new symptoms to pop up. I'm not trying to alarm you but it's better to be safe than sorry. If you notice any new or worsening symptoms, you may need to reinstate a very small amount, by making a liquid suspension.

 

Instructions here:

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2693-how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/

 

 

Some people don't get hit with the worst right away and by the time they do get really bad, it's not helpful to reinstate. When they try to reinstate, the drug seems to make them have even more symptoms. Then they have prolonged WD syndrome.

 

There are others that are able to leave off many drugs and have no withdrawal, at all. There's no way to predict how stopping a med will affect any one person, in advance.

 

I understand you had some other symptoms along the way that seem to have faded away, is that when you found this forum? I'm just curious...if you feel like you're doing much better, what made you look for us?

 

Do you recall at what point your other symptoms stopped? How long since you felt bad? Did you always hold each dose until you were symptom free? Does the akathisia interrupt your sleep?

 

I wish you the best and hope no symptoms return and, as you say, you continue to heal from the akathisia.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience with us!

[Altostrata]

hetacle, taking omega-3s and magnesium (magnesium glycinate is the best) in the evening may help those symptoms you identify as akathesia.

 

I would gradually build up on the magnesium so you can take it 3 times a day or more.

 

The memory issues may be what we often call "brain fog." This will also go away in time. Do your best to keep calm. Perhaps meditative breathing can help?

[hetacle]

Hi Tezza,I understand very well what you mean. Actually, i read several months ago that delayed withdrawal symptoms can appear a long time after you stopped the AD.So i'm always looking for informations about that. So i found a youtube channel call "Toxic antidepressant" and i've found a lot of informations. And the author of the videos has added the URL of your website in his signature, so here am i...I know that my method wouldn't be advisable. I use alternance because i didn't know how to make liquid from tablets, and no liquid medication are existing in France (well, as far as i know). And divide a tablet by 6 or 8 or 10... Well you know what i mean...Of course the effects of withdrawal are very different and the way to heal of it, are different for each person. My aim is not to tell to the members of this website that my method is good. No, of course, no.I just wanted to testify that,it's possible to let down gradually AD's, and start a new life after this struggle. By the time i felt so bad, i read some testify over the internet, and it gives me hope. I just want to share my experience if it helps people like me, like us...Here is what i can remember about ther moment when the symptoms stopped :

 

- akathesia : still existing until now, But it seems to heal slowly day by day

- Anxiety : It stopped after few weeks after "final" withdrawal

- Depression : i don't remeber

- OCD/Obessessive thoughts : about 10 months after i start to taper

- Cognitive problems/ Memory problems : cognitive problems, i don't remember; Memory problems remains until now

- Derealization/Depersonalization : i don't remember well, but probably near the final withdrawal date, more or less

- Sexual troubles : about 10 months after i start to taper

 

I didn't hold hold each dose until i was symptom free. And that was not a good idea... Some of the symptoms became worst... NOw most of them have gone, but i hope they will not come back. And i also hope that i didn't hurt my brain too hardly.

 

About the akathesia, it never disturbed my sleep at any time. Sometimes i wouldn't be able to rest and sleep because of it. But as soon as i slept, it was ok.

 

@ altostrata: Thanks a lot for your advices. I will try meditative breathings. I heard a lot of good things about this, so why not ;-)

 

Take care

 

Hetacle

[tezza]

I hope you continue to do well and heal quickly. Thank you for joining us to be of encouragement to others. We all look for the stories with happy endings, it does give everyone hope while struggling.

 

I'm tapering Risperdal very slowly, to be safe. It took me a long time to feel better after leaving it off for only two weeks. I'd hate to think what might have happened if I had not reinstated.

 

No sleep and no eating, yes, and many other horrible symptoms. It's an awful drug!

 

Please continue to keep us updated.