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JanCarol

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It's like 2 rising stars, best friends  The beautiful one loses his body, and the super smart one loses his mind. 

 

 

Hi, Jan.

 

I really like what you wrote. The whole mind / body parallel is very nicely done. I feel a bit more inspired myself now, so thank you for writing this.

 

 

 

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I got interesting feedback from my acupuncturist.

 

As usual, my kidney channels were irritable, itchy, she talked about histamine and antacids (this fit, I've been having a bit of reflux due to some dietary laxness).

 

When she got to my head, she hit some awful points on the back of my head and neck (yeah, stiff neck = stubborn, I get that!), and said "mmm.  Gall Bladder.  Difficulty making decisions, decisions seem too weighty - paralysed by indecision."

 

Then, when my wrists started to itch, she said "pericardium."  Then she went into a story about the King.  She said something about - when you had a complaint, and wanted to take it to the king, first you had to go through the intermediary, the pericardium, who would try and solve your problem, and only if the pericardium couldn't solve your problem would you take it to the king.

 

I have to admit, I kind of drifted at some point during this story - and wasn't sure what I was hearing when it was all over - but again - it really

really

really fits what I've been going to.

 

Paralysed by indecision.

 

Today was garden bathing.  Kind of like forest bathing, but it was a planted forest, with orchids and bamboo and flowers and waterfalls and views across the beautiful Glasshouse mountains.  We went into a free-flying aviary, too, with over 400 birds, and I spent most of the time with a bird on my shoulder or head - lovely, stunning creatures! - in awe that I was being so blessed by the wind from their wings, their calls and cries, the beauty of their flight, their colors, and their obvious intelligence and personality.

 

That felt good.

 

I'm still in rest mode, though.  I told yoga teacher "i'm resting until further notice."  I got a new gi uniform for the new karate school, but I think I'm too exhausted to do it yet.

 

How to break this cycle?  I built up to all that activity over a number of months before - and it took one cold for it all to come crashing down.  I'm "well" - I look like a normal human being, I can breathe, no infection - but I am severely fatigued. 

 

When I reach this level of fatigue, nothing feels good - and then my diet goes off, because food brings me pleasure.  But like drugs - it does, until it doesn't.  Sometimes I have to do the awful things to myself, and then remember:  Yeah, that was awful, remember why I quit doing that before?

 

I did see the sun today, marvellous sunset from a mountaintop, and plenty of time walking around the garden.  

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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JC,

 

Good stuff going on.  You have a lot on your plate (too much?) so you need to make sure you don't feel guilty when you can't do it all.  I think you are wise to pick and choose and listen to your body when it says "no mas."

 

It's amazing what acupuncturists can tell from their work.  We get so used to the model of "MRI", "CT", "ultrasound" that we find it shocking that practitioners of Eastern medicine can tell so much just by looking, touching and listening. 

 

I thought of you today as I was listening to Ross Mackenzie speak on the Soul of Healing Summit.  Ross was "involuntarily drugged" using lithium (hence I thought of you) when his family did an intervention.  If you are interested you can sign up for the summit and listen today -- all free. 

 

http://soulofhealingsummit.com/

 

He's a very encouraging success story for you or anyone else who wants to listen.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Andy, thanks for sharing the Soul of Healing link. I bookmarked it to listen to this weekend. Looks really interesting.

 

Jan, "rest mode" sounds like a good idea. You do so much and you're only 5 months off your meds, so you're doing great. 

 

I'm glad you saw the sun today. Me, too. 

 

 

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Thanks for that link, Andy!  I don't know when I can get to it though.  LOOKS AWESOME but I just started a 2 hour Tolle thing....

 

That "list of things to do" has gone from a nutritious feast, to a couple of olives with a thin strip of carrot....still nutritious, but not nearly as satisfying.

 

My days are pretty sparse.  Today I pitched my shamanism to a new studio, and made a commitment to give her a session later this month to demonstrate.

 

Still no discussion of fees, etc., but her studio is better set up for this, higher ceilings with angles for the drum to bounce off of.  Got a new drum, too - a synthetic buffalo drum by Remo.  Not a "traditional drum," but hey, who made me a "traditional shaman" anyway? (um, nobody?)  Plus - the synthetic head is just crying out for paint!  

 

I feel like I'm in a deep time of re-evaluation.  Forms breaking down, and I"m left with what's really important.

 

Thanks for reading, Andy and Shep.  It's good to know you are there.  It's kind of a surprise when people stop by!  Bless you both!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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This is all sounding wonderful JC. I have found a "windows and waves" pattern to my activities. I push quit a lot and then have to cut back and catch my breath.  There also seems to be an "Anormal" baseline that establishes itself over time and like the WDnormal baseline it keeps raising as I do more and get stronger. Making sure to take breaks when needed I have really seen a great raise in the level of my Anormal over the past several months. Do pay close attention to the diet, it's really important and really easy to let slip.  The shamanism classes sound quit interesting, best of luck on getting them set up.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Things I learned from karate:

 

  1. Don't take it personally.  When the Master yells at you, it is not a criticism of you as a person, but an effort to make you a better karatika, a better person.  I have been reduced to tears from corrections, but learning to take them, and not take them personally, has taught me a method to learn and grow.
  2. Don't be afraid to ask for help.  If you don't understand something, there's a very real chance that someone else in the class doesn't understand it, too - and by asking, then everyone learns something new.
  3. Accept correction.  If you are doing something wrong, it does no good to repeat the wrong thing.  Accept the correction, practice the new thing over and over until the old, bad habit is gone.  Corrections are the way you transcend yourself and learn and grow.  Corrections are a gift - they show you the way, the things you need to learn.
  4. Learning control is key.  It's great to throw a terrific punch or kick, but it is also vital to know when to "pull" the kick at the last minute so that you do not damage your training partner.
  5. Sometimes you get hurt.  People hit you, you fall down, you get bruises and strains.  This is all part of life and growing.
  6. Sometimes you hurt other people.  Sometimes it's accidental, sometimes the person was careless and walked right into your fist.  There is value in saying "sorry," and expressing concern for the people who are hurt as a direct result of your actions.
  7. Because of #5 & #6, there is great value in politeness.  "I'm sorry," for when you hurt people.  "Thank you" when you get corrections, and "please" when you need help.  The Japanese tradition of bowing for respect is not about submission, but is about respect, and honoring that we are in each other's intimate space and need to honor our own path, and the learning path of others.
  8. Everyone is at the place where they are.  When helping others, show them what is next, not the super fancy advanced move that you think is ultimate.  A solid basic punch timed properly is superior to a flying spinning fancy beautiful kick that may just end up with more trouble.
  9. Follow, respect, and honor the form.  By following the form, repeating the form, you eventually repeat it enough times that the essence of the teaching will come.  It will come.
  10. Conflict is a great teacher.  It shows you what you really believe, and what is worth fighting for, and when it is good to walk away.  In conflict you risk getting hurt, or hurting others - and you stand to gain knowledge that you never dreamed you could have.
  11. Try new things.  Just because "it's always done this way" doesn't mean that there aren't adaptations and adjustments you can make to fit your style, your body, and your practice.
  12. Ensure that your practice is a practice.  Surrender to the time of instruction, and you will become a better person, just by doing the practice.
  13. Seek to learn something new each time you attend a class.  That is the measure of a successful class.  If you are going through the motions, you may be embedding good habits into your body and nervous system - but that extra added "learn something new" means that you are growing.
  14. Karate is the best possible mood stabilizer.  Not only am I learning the discipline of the class, the humility of accepting corrections, and the relationships of respect and politeness - I am harnessing my negative emotions and converting them into accomplishment.  That is the best mood stabilizer I have found.

 

I haven't gone to the new karate class yet, but I am looking forward to being among friends.  The opportunity to be a lower class belt among 5 black belts (a 5 to 1 teaching ratio!) is too good to pass up - but I need to wait for the current fatigue to pass before I can hold my own in class.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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I hope you get back to karate soon, Jan. It sounds like it has ways of teaching you how to get through withdrawal. And even life. 

 

Very nice list. I think this is my favorite:

 

10. Conflict is a great teacher.  It shows you what you really believe, and what is worth fighting for, and when it is good to walk away.  In conflict you risk getting hurt, or hurting others - and you stand to gain knowledge that you never dreamed you could have.

 

 

I like the concept that there's a certain inherent "guidance" (or teacher) for all of us as we travel the path of recovery, that there's a certain inter-connectedness of being. That this isn't completely random. 

 

And that brings a certain feeling of being "safe" at the end of the day.

 

I enjoy reading what you write.

 

Sending healing vibes your way. 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thanks BrassMonkey and Shep

Yes, the Karate stuff has been the molding of me in many ways.  Not just withdrawal, but survival!

 

It is so easy to make mistakes!

 

This post is dedicated to those of you who adjust your meds in microtapers or even tapers with slivers and drops and tiny % adjustments in your dosages.  Now I know, there is an element of fear, because if you get it wrong, you make a mistake, the price is awfully high, and often immediate.

 

My mistake was to thyroid (and inositol and antihistamine) so it took me 2 weeks to catch the mistake.

 

How did it happen this time?  In the past, sometimes I've made mistakes in filling my weekly trays.  This time, the trays were right, but - I use purple ones in the early morning, and blue ones in the afternoon.  For some reason, I put a blue tray out in the morning and another blue tray out for the afternoon (two different rooms, so they were never side-by-side).

 

NOW THEY ARE NOT LABELED AM and PM (maybe they should be!), just purple or blue.  So I took blue-tray tablets and supplements in the morning and blue-tray ones at night.  Additionally, when the tray was empty, I picked it up - thought "blue" and replaced it with a blue tray.  So I've had 2 weeks of medication error.  Taking afternoon meds and supplements around 6-7 am, and not getting any of my normal morning supplements.  Both contain thyroid, but the afternoon contains less.

 

This means that I have NOT been getting my adrenal glandular and pregnenolone, and it means I've been getting 33% more inositol (in the early morning no less!).  And no antihistamine.

 

But the big one is this:  a 20% decrease overall in my thyroid.

 

No wonder I've been tired!

 

Mistake has now been caught, I took extra thyroid today, and will start back on my regular supplement regime tomorrow.

 

It shows just how sensitive we can be - I was still on the supplements, they were just shifted a little (especially the thyroid & inositol).

 

I will say this - taking inositol in the early morning sure has me sleeping deeply in the morning!  (for future reference, maybe take extra if I wake up with insomnia)

 

Back to your regularly scheduled Jan.   :P

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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So - ortho-molecular GP said of my dosing error, and resultant crash:  "so - you see how important these supplements are for you."

 

Sometimes I feel like my whole day is planned around these supplements.  It's why adding a "blister" - my compounding chemist wants to combine most of them into a "blister" (powder) that I pour into juice -  just adds another protocol for me to keep track of.

 

I'm feeling better, I'm still tired, but able to move again, making appointments again.  Today was GP, who was thrilled that I'm totally off psych drugs, and seemed to understand when I said that I was never "bipolar," but that it was an effect of lots of fast antidepressant switching.  But the light really came on for her when I asked for something for pain.

 

Just codeine.  It's legal OTC here, but they've put in new, more invasive laws that says I can only buy a packet every 5 days.  I switch between the ibuprofen containing ones (kidneys and GI bleeds) and the paracetamol/acetominophen containing ones (liver toxicity) - so - sometimes I run out of packets and need to fill in less than 5 days (even though that's still far less than the "recommended maximum".  It's crazy, and I explained to her and rolled her eyes.

 

She said, so you are in chronic pain most of the time?  I said, yes, but I'm able to manage it with the OTC drugs, except for these new laws.

 

The #2 reason for poison control call outs is paracetemol.  Not codeine.  

 

So - she mentioned - as she is required to do - that codeine is not the best choice for managing chronic pain.  I fixed her in the eye and said, "Yes, but I won't take Lyrica, and I cannot take Cymbalta"

THEN she tweaked on the antidepressant thing, and I think it settled in that I will not take psych drugs for pain.  THAT's when I think I got through to her that my "bipolar" was likely a drug reaction.  She wrote me a healthy script to take "in between" the OTC ones, and I should be fine for a year with this.

 

Now, this doesn't mean that she doesn't believe that the drugs are still good for many people, but at least she gets it that it is not for me.

 

And she knows - because she did the "health plan" and the "mental health plan" that shows I am in physiotherapy and occupational therapy and she knows I do yoga and tai chi and walk every day.  I'm not a "malingerer."  It was affirming.

 

More in a mo - on low carb diets.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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I'm learning from a book called "The Adrenal Reset Diet" by Alan Christianson, MD, a doctor in Arizona.

 

His premise is not that low carb or high carb is the right diet.  His premise is that you feed your cortisol cycle at certain times of the day.  Proteins in morning (I still haven't gotten to the part where he says when I can eat carbs, he's still selling me on the idea that carbs are fine.), and reset your adrenal / cortisol patterns for better health and weight.

 

So - he says that Low Carb fires your cortisol, and throws your blood sugar out of whack (but I haven't read that part yet).

 

Here's what he says about low carb and cortisol:

 

 

low carbs raise cortisol

 

One problem is that when you cut your carbs too much, cortisol rises. Remember that one of cortisol’s jobs is keeping your blood sugar up. There’s a drop in blood sugar when you miss meals or you are fasting, but it also happens if your meals are too low in carbs. Your body needs cortisol to take glucose from your muscles and liver. This rise in cortisol can turn on the fat-storage enzymes and lead to poorer-quality sleep, both of which work against lasting weight loss.

 
Christianson, Alan Nmd. The Adrenal Reset Diet: Strategically Cycle Carbs and Proteins to Lose Weight, Balance Hormones, and Move from Stressed to Thriving (p. 51). Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony. Kindle Edition. 

 

He also is the one who recommended the glutathione infusion, which I took one yesterday.  I have noticed that sugar cravings are not as strong since then, and my ortho-doc who gives them - says that it takes a few weeks to "fire up" and replenish the adrneals.

 

She gives them, along with Vit C, intravenously, to her cancer and adrenal patients.  Yesterday was my first one, and I have hopes that this might be the boost I need.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Interesting, Jan. I found that a high protein, low carb diet really does help with fatigue. 

 

And since you got an instant improvement with lower sugar cravings, hopefully in a few weeks, it really will "fire up" the adrenals. 

 

 

 

His premise is not that low carb or high carb is the right diet.  His premise is that you feed your cortisol cycle at certain times of the day.

 

 

I think there's a lot of wisdom in this. I find that I'm "craving" certain foods throughout the day, especially protein earlier on in the day. So this whole recovery process has been a major lesson in listening to my body and separating out the "bad" cravings (i.e. sugar) from the "good" cravings. And because we're so acutely sensitive during this process, we sometimes find out quickly that indulging in a bad craving leads to a wave.

 

Sending healing vibes your way. I hope the infusion really helps you. 

 

 

 

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So I WENT to karate!

 

I asked if I could just go, and observe, just to get in the habit of going.

 

I couldn't commit - I couldn't even tell hubby what we were having for dinner - I just couldn't think that far ahead.  Then the IBS kicked in at about 4 pm, with a 6:30 class.

 

At the last minute, as I'm running out the door, I grab my gi - uniform.  And take some tablets - thinking it's better to be DOING something and on pain control, than NOT doing something.

 

I was worried that there would be no toilet access (there's not, without a key - not very comforting to someone with IBS) - but I asked anyway and put on the gi.

 

and did 50 minutes of training!

 

I nearly burst into tears as I was there, knowing what I was doing, hearing my favourite sensei calling out the moves - so familiar, and yet I had to think, too.

 

NEW RULES for Karate:

Tape the knee.

wear a hearing aid

wear my hand splint.

 

My form wasn't awful, and there were some tricky things in there.

 

But here's the good part: I left (they stayed another 40 minutes) - got in the car, and the music sounded better.  Yes!  That's the mood adjustment I've been missing!

 

And - never say never.  I kept making like I was going to go, no pressure, just to say hi, and scope it out - and I ended up - at the last minute - staying, and having a great time.

 

Training with 4 of my very favourite senseis ever.  Awesome!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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It was 2 years ago that I left the "rugby karate" dojo.  They were too rough, I was injured (hand), and the injury didn't get better.

 

It is better now,  but STILL healing, still vulnerable to injury.

 

In that 2 years, my blood sugar got out of control, along with my weight, my sleep, my mood, and my cholesterol.  But I've tried to keep a positive foot forward, in spite of missing my favorite "motivator."

 

The gi fits poorly.  I look too big.  My knee hurt, my hip hurt, my hand hurt.  But I did 50 minutes - and when I said "I'm done," they said, "thanks for coming!"  (instead of "oh no, you have to stay for what's next...." like all the other schools would do)

 

It feels like home.  MY dojo.  MY senseis.  MY karate.  MY process beginning again.  And I only need do what I can - and I WANT to do, so I will push myself (but not into "crash").

 

So - shift.  Yoga on Monday, Karate on Thursday.  Hubby being very patient with the ruined dinner plans. (no "dinner together" on these nights, I have raw food smoothie, and he "snacks around" - which he likes doing)

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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That's excellent news JC, can't wait to hear more about it.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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So today, was my goodbye visit to my psychiatrist.

 

We left on friendly terms.

 

If I had seen her 3 weeks prior (in the depths of my thyroid crash) it might be different.  But I told her all about it, and she could see that I am healthy, I have a number of healthy activities and interests in my life, and that I am adapting quite nicely.

 

I'd love to see that chart - to see how she reconciles the cognitive dissonance that once I did need meds and now I do not.  (I'm thinking she might be thinking that we were medicating "hypothyroid" instead of "bipolar," because as you know, the p-docs think that bipolar "never goes away."). I'm also thinking that she did not take my "side effects" very seriously, I had to convince her that I felt the drugs were draining my life away.  We also attributed a lot of mood relief to getting rid of cigarettes, statins, and PPI's, in addition to the lithium fog.

 

But I can let all that go.

 

We left it at:  "If you ever need to talk, please feel free to call me," and I said, "I trust you, and would call you if ever I needed your help."  I walked out without scheduling another appointment.  

 

I am holding my arms up in a "TOUCHDOWN!" and hubby is taking me out to dinner for fish to celebrate.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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PS - we talked about my severe delayed cycle sleep.  (she agrees with Alto - late night computer is the wrong thing to do - it's just that seems to be my only productive time at the computer!)

 

She said:  "I would not medicate your sleep unless it was causing you mental illness....."

 

Heh.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Another chapter closed. It's great it ended in an amicable fashion. Now, it's in the past, over and done with.  Fist pump  YESSSSS!!!

 

All that while handling some really tough mod work too. I am so impressed, you go girl.

 

((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Awesome stuff Jan! Love from NZ

Started Citalopram in 2005 (aged 15) for apparent "OCD" - 60mg 

July 2015 attempted 2 x 10% + cuts 4 weeks apart. WD symptoms intense at times. Need to slow down.

 

November 2016 - Resumed taper. 1.25 - 1.5% decrease weekly approx.

44.5mg November 2016. Jan 2017 42.5 mg. March 2017 40 mg. June 2017 37mg. September 2018 22mg. Nov 2018 Holding at 22mg to stabilise from moderate wave. January 2020 - Holding, mostly feeling fine, but still having some waves at times. 

 

February 2020 - Resumed taper , 1.5% reduction weekly/every two weeks. 

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:blush:  :wub:  :D

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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JC,

 

Love to read all the positives in your thread.  As I've said in several places, I've been getting KILLED at work the past 2 weeks and have not been able to come up for air.  I just wanted to make sure I acknowledged how well you are doing of late. 

 

Really proud of your achievements!

Best,

 

Andy

 

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Thanks Andy.

 

DAY TWO of Nutella CT withdrawal.  I got through yesterday with some peanut butter cookies and a bagel with cream cheese.  But wheat and dairy, and still, methadone is not as satisfying as heroin.  Not even cigarettes had this kind of hold on me!

 

Can I get through tomorrow without buying more Nutella?  My dealer (Costco) is on the way home from the massage therapist.

 

Or maybe, now that I've been through the first 2 nights, it will get easier?  I wish I could've tapered, but I just can't discipline myself to only take one spoon of Nutella.   I had to CT.  At least there are no seizures associated with CT Nutella withdrawal, but there may be some rebound depression to deal with.

 

Tonight will be rougher, as there is only one cookie left, and I had so much wheat last night, I'm afraid of that cookie.   I might just have to go to sleep, insead.

 

The horrors.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Day Three of Nutella CT.

 

The bridge to cookies and bagels was a bad idea, I see that now.  I'm too afraid of the side effects from the wheat.

 

I discovered a stash of Reeses cups, I wonder if I can bridge to them?

 

Except - it is only available in Australia in "Fun Size" which are not as satisfying as full sized peanut butter cups.  Maybe I can bridge to the full size Reeses cups and taper down to the fun size?

 

I survived the day, not going to my dealer, as my massage therapist cancelled.  Maybe she's in Nutella - or some other sort of withdrawal, too?  It seems that everyone around me is living in a cloud of addictive haze - asthma puffers, alcohol, sugar fixes, and psych drugs, making a cycle of corporate misery.

 

Will we ever escape?  Even if I go 3 days without Nutella, that means I can do it, right?  When do I start feeling better?  

 

;)  :D

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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This is quite the saga, JC.

 

Good lord willing you will escape this without suffering the dreaded "CHOCO-STHISIA."

 

When that hits all bets are off.

 

:P

 

Good luck.  You sound great.

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Be very careful with the bridging efforts, Reeses cups are highly addictive. DW Monica has been struggling with them for years, even got a verbal warning for eating them at work one time.  I've tried cookie tapers in the past and they end in failure every time. I'll get clean for a week or two then have to reinstate.  Over the years I've managed to substantially lower my dose but never been able to totally shake them off.

 

 "CHOCO-STHISIA." is the worst.  I'll get it after a binge of Toll House cookies.  I'll then CT them, because they're impossible to taper, and set off a binge/crash cycle that is really tough to break out of.

 

Best of luck on your journey. But please fine a different route that doesn't pass Costco.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Sad but True, Tom.

 

Perhaps JC should try the chocolate patch -- a bit messy but quite effective.

 

:D

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Day 4 of Nutella withdrawal:  OMG I've lost 2 kilos.  Could be from the GI problems from bridging to wheat products.  Ate another bagel today..

 

You see the Nutella started up because all Australian lollies use wheat glucose instead of corn.  Nutella was gluten free and oh-so chocolately.

 

I managed to bridge to one cookie last night, but found myself in Chocothesia (GREAT word!) tonight and the Reeses that I was holding back for emergencies - are now gone.  I can get the big cups here in Australia, but I have to make special trips to expensive lolly import shops and pay $10 a pack.

 

I'm trying to move the bridge to sesame sticks.  They don't have the chocolate flavour, but hoping that the fat in the nuts hits that Nutella receptor.  There are bars of beautiful dark chocolate in the house that I am allowed to have (choco-flavin supplements, you know!) but they are just not the same.  It's like taking benadryl instead of a benzo.  You get something, but not the right thing.

 

I hear you on the binge/crash cycle brassmonkey, and thanks for the addiction warning on the Reeses.  I suspected as much - they are just too good to be true!

 

But if the weight loss continues, perhaps my pain will diminish without these Nutella rebound attacks - I just might see the end of this woods!

 

Thanks guys for your support - I don't think Australia PBS has adopted the Choco-patch, yet.  Slow release Nutella would be the best way to taper, but, as usual, the corporations don't provide the form or dose of product that I need to taper safely!  And the Aussie PBS / TGA is always slow to adopt new alternatives.  Maybe it is a practitioner only thing?  I'd be calling my naturopath right away to look into this!

 

PS - karate was great again this week.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Well done on the weight loss ..give that gal a chocolate fish!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate_fish

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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I'm reading this and craving my chocolate addiction of choice - dark chocolate M & M's. It's the perfect chocolate because it comes in a "dose" that's perfect for tapering.  :P

 

I still can't have sugar, so when I can, I may have to "taper in" with just a few a day. 

 

You sound really good, Jan. That's great to read you've gotten back into karate. 

 

 

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Day 5 of Nutella withdrawal.  The 2 kilos has stayed off, even though my carb count is up.  Can this be all Nutella?

 

Chocothesia was more manageable today.

 

I have 2 chocolate spread jars in my cupboard from the health food store - a cocoa cashew one, and a coconut/peanut one.  The cocoa cashew is kind of like chewing dry cocoa out of the tin, and the coconut one is the same, only with pea gravel put in it, too.  So I can only eat one unsatisfying bite of these.

 

The Reeses are gone, and unlike Monica, BrassMonkey's DW, I cannot get more without mortgaging the house or selling the car.  This is Australia, the ends of the earth.  They are just gone, which is a good thing.  I can resist the fun size.

 

Tonight the bridge was a granola bar (still more carbs than I usually eat) and some toasted coconut chips.  With those, I was not tempted to touch the health food cocoa spreads at all. (as if they are tempting, at all.)

 

My pain does seem slightly better, too.  I'm thinking the Nutella was inflammatory.

 

Now, to go to bed at a reasonable hour.  It's too late, but at least it's earlier than it was (I've had several nights these past 2 weeks where bedtime was 6 am!)

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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I am so far behind in reading I will never catch up till I am rolling 100% if then... but I did read something about nutella and found you a recipe

 

  • 1½ c hazelnuts
  • ½ cup cocoa powder
  • ½ cup almond milk
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • ½ cup erythritol or sugar
  1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
  2. Spread the hazelnuts on a baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes. Using a paper towel, pull the skins off the hazelnuts. Transfer the hazelnuts to a food processor and process until smooth and buttery, stopping to scrape down as needed, about 10 minutes.
  3. Add in the remaining ingredients and process again until smooth, adding more or less sweetener to taste. Transfer your homemade Nutella to a 16 ounce jar. It will keep in an airtight container in the refrigerator for about a week. Devour.
  4. Serving size: 1 tablespoon Calories: 36 Fat: 3.5 grams
  5. This one sounds better to me and had 100 cal to Two table spoons.

Homemade Nutella Recipe

 
Author: The Coconut Mama
Ingredients
  • 1 Cup Hazelnuts, roasted
  • 1½ Tablespoons Coconut Oil
  • 3 Tablespoons Cocoa Powder
  • ⅓ Cup Maple Syrup
  • ½ Tablespoon Vanilla Extract
  • ¼ -1/2 Cup Coconut Milk
  • ⅛ Teaspoon Salt
 
Instructions
  1. Use a food processor to blend the hazelnuts until they form a nut butter.
  2. Add ¼ cup of coconut milk along with the remaining ingredients.
  3. Blend until mixture is creamy and smooth. Add more coconut milk if needed.

hope your well enough.... had my limit for today 

wishing you peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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Thanks B, that looks about as appetizing as the "health food store" ones!

 

I'm sure it's the evil stuff, the palm oil, that makes Nutella so creamy and yummy.

 

Shep writes:

I'm reading this and craving my chocolate addiction of choice - dark chocolate M & M's. It's the perfect chocolate because it comes in a "dose" that's perfect for tapering.   :P

 

See, Shep, this is part of how it all started.

 

There ARE NO DARK CHOCOLATE M&M's here!  (ergo, no Reeses Pieces, either)

When I moved here there was NO DARK CHOCOLATE at all!!!!  NONE!  Not until the "health benefits" became more widely known.

 

No Hershey's "Special Dark."  There was a short period of time when I could get a dark Mars bar, and that was very satisfying - but they've since pulled it off the market.  Too dark for Australians.  (even though it was probably only 30% dark chocolate, and that was just the "shell."

 

Aussies like a thing called "white chocolate" - what we call "bark" in the US.  Blech.  Unless it's wrapped around a mini pretzel. (a family tradition)

 

So when I came here, there were no comfort foods I liked.  Even the marshmallows were awful.  Artificial raspberry and lime and lemon "flavoured" marshmallows (and chockers full of wheat gluten - all Aussie lollies are sweetened with wheat, instead of corn glucose).

 

I gained so much weight looking for the right receptor!  Because I had a system in the US, I could keep a treat in my freezer and partake only when I wanted it.  Now, I was in constant craving, and couldn't get what I wanted.

 

THEN, Hostess folded their snack cakes division, so when I came back home to the USA, a Ho-Ho was no longer a Ho-Ho.    There was something called a Ho-Ho, but it was not the same.  Not that I would eat a lot of these, you've seen photos of me in the US, I was fit and trim.  

 

But when I wanted just that thing, in Australia, I had to kiss a lot of frogs, and didn't find the prince until I went gluten free, and found my jars of Nutella.  

 

It's an international, first-world problem, I realize.  And when I moved here I thought, "No Ho-Ho's?  No problem!"  Except it WAS a problem.  No beans-and-cornbread, pancakes were a "dessert item."  Steaks were made of shoe leather.  Orange juice was bitter and metallic.  All the yummy was taken out of food, so I started indulging more and more in fat and sweet.

 

Sorry, this is the analysis part.

 

Day 6 of Nutella withdrawal, only it's daytime (the cravings come at night).  I did find a stash of Japanese caramels to tide me over.  We'll see how I survive tonight.  I have some cashew crunch to nibble on, should it get intense.

 

Today is a special holiday called Ekka Day.  Everyone in the Shire has the day off work so they can go down to the Ekka (Exhibition), which is Brisbane's version of a State Fair.  But unlike an Indiana State Fair, you have to pay $30 to get in, and even if you get a bag of goodies from a corporation, it's not free, you have to buy it.  They call them Show Bags.  They are like a "lucky dip" from corporate sponsors, except you can pay up to $50 for a good "Show Bag."  Anyhow, the whole Shire is shut down today.  There's not even a yoga class to go to.

 

Just sharing a little foreign culture with you.  Imagine your state in the US is having a state fair.  Now, divide the counties by 5.  Each day, 1/5 of the counties get a day off to travel to the capital and attend the state fair.  I am affected by 2 of the days this week, as Wednesday is City Ekka Day (I live in the first shire north of the City).  

 

In olden times, going to the Exhibition might have been a big deal, see the biggest steers and finest chooks (chickens) and enter your jam or cake or needlecraft in State competition.  But this day off for Ekka is a relic from those times.  Quaint, and not very capitalistic!  

 

I feel I'm past the worst of the Chocothesia.  The hard part will be passing the Nutella display at Costco, where it is always 25% cheaper than anywhere else, and if you want, you can buy it by the tub or even vat (I've never done that, too dangerous!)

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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Day 6 of Nutella withdrawal - at the end of the day.

 

whoa, had a huge fit of choco-thesia just after midnight.  I thought I was going to rip through the house. 

 

We don't have 24 hour shops in Australia for those emergency late night cravings, either.

 

Well.  I had a plan, and it was the honeyed cashews with savory BBQ flavoring...and I didn't think it would work.

 

(this is why you have a plan BEFORE you go into withdrawal!)  It didn't look appealing, eating nuts instead of Nutella.

 

But - I'm here to tell you.  It worked.  I didn't need many, and was satisfied by the fat and sweet and salt of it.  Not the healthiest thing to eat - but not Nutella, either!

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to comment

I read on a health site to have almond butter for late night cravings not sure why... what do you think is in that nutella or chocolate that you crave?  My old chocolate cravings I learned were caused by lack of magnesium but it was not dark chocolate as I recall to long ago... maybe you actually need something decent as part of the craving.  I have this theory that what we crave we actually need in some way and generally search out what it could be. I know takes all the fun out of candy :0

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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