that's great advice bubble and it really does work
if you can just try those things, Lobster, I really think it will help get you thru
also, are there any "warm lines" in Maine?
as I understand it, your PTSD is actually from those days when you could not sleep and ended up in hospital?
if this is true, it may help you greatly to talk to someone who will understand how traumatic that is to you.
I know resources are bad in ME, as they are here in NH too (although maybe not *as* bad as ME) but there may be some call lines that might give you some reassurance.
I'll look around and see what I can find.
UPDATE: I found this, not sure if it's any good but you might want to give it a try..?
One thing that has helped me with PTSD is a line from a song, that goes "Once somebody hears, listens to the fear, it's gone"
I try to find someone who is likely to be understanding, and I confide my fears to that person. often I may feel like crying when I do, which is good, it's good to cry and it's good to have empathy or even sympathy for yourself, for what you went thru.
Trauma is a terrible thing; it makes us more vulnerable to stress and anxiety.
You did not deserve what happened to you, and you should not have to suffer this additional pain and fear because of it.
Let yourself feel sorry for yourself, it *may* help get your mind on something besides the fear. That will make you calmer and you can then face the fear head on and realize, it's just a FEELING. it can't hurt you, as much as it seems like it can.
Going without sleep is awful, I know- I have not slept for more than 4 hrs per night for about 6 mos now (ok there's been a few rare occasions when I got a wee bit more than that) it's awful to wake up and be sweating and have those cortisol rushes with the pounding heart beat, I know.
when it happens, try to just take a breath and pay attention to where you feel it in your body. Don't try to fight it, don't get upset about it, if you can manage that (I know, it's hard) watch one of the videos linked in bubble's posts, If nothing else, they will distract you and give you time to talk yourself down and realize that the fear is just another feeling, like all feelings- it will NOT hurt you, you are safe, and the feeling will go away in time.
my heart goes out to you, but please know, you ARE going to get past this, and you ARE going to get back to being able to sleep well again.
tell yourself that over and over again, and let yourself believe it, because it's true. I am so sure of this, I would bet money on it, and I don't have much money, so..! I'm serious.
is there something that you esp enjoy doing? if you do wake up, try to think about the things that bring you joy and fantasize about doing them.
tell yourself that you have this extra time to savor your dreams or to reminisce about happy times, or to read, if you have something you'd enjoy reading.
if you are watching the news or reading newspapers, my advise is, don't!! put them away for awhile. It's too easy for the bad news (which is the only news they report) to take over and add to your fears.
you are just going thru a wave, it will be over soon and you will probably feel even BETTER than you did before this wave. The symptoms mean that your brain is working to put something else back the way it was before you took the drug; chances are good that you are going to be feeling better or thinking more clearly very soon.
1974-2002 many psych meds, all types; longest used drugs include lithium, seroquel, SSRI's zoloft & celexa; many CT's off drugs
2002-2015 on varying doses of lexapro, as high as 40 mgs, but usually 20mgs
June 2015: tapered too fast to 2.5mgs, then to 2.5mgs every other day Dec 2015: found SA forum; holding at 2.5mgs
Early May 2016: jumped off at 2.5mgs, not smart- crashed in late Sept.
Oct 26 2016 reinstated liquid lexapro 0.05ml/day at night, dose +/- til settling on 0.15BID (0.3/day)= windows and waves
Jan 8, 2017 too quick switch to single dose in the morning, 0.3mgs (bad mistake, led to a crash)
Jan 12,2017 added low dose zyprexa for SI, took infrequently as rescue med, last dose Feb.15
Jan 26,2017 lexapro 0.27mg Feb 25 lexapro updose back to 0.3mg due to unrelenting severe insomnia
March 1,2017 insomnia worse, back down to 0.29 to 0.27, to 0.25- improving!! March 17 0.24 April 7 0.21 May7 0.20
March 7, 2017 added low dose lamictal, adjusting dose based on response (currently ~12.5mgs)
Supplements: Magnesium taurate 250mg, chromium, pro-biotic, biotin, glycine