Omorfi: Beginning withdrawals and afraid by xyprexa result

[Omorfi]

After a year of being on xyprexa and lithium and feeling depressed and far way from myself I have started the tapering process. My new Dr first put me on Zoloft (I felt no result) and then she tapered me from 2.5 xyprexa to 0 in a month. This is the first time I got through it. But I'm 2 weeks in and sleeping but wake anxious and feel pretty dark. Is this the withdrawal? I wasn't depressed or anxious before the meds. I'm really afraid. I still don't feel like myself at all and I have 2 more drugs to get off of. I would so appreciate any words of wisdom

Edited July 21, 2016 by scallywag
tags added

[Petunia]

Welcome Omorfi,

 

I'm sorry you are not feeling well since stopping zyprexa.  Anxiety and depression are common withdrawal symptoms and you did taper too fast, we usually recommend reducing by no more that 10% per month.  If you didn't have anxiety or depression before starting medication, its quite likely what you are experiencing is withdrawal effects.

 

Why did your doctor put you on all these drugs?  What else are you taking and what dosages?  It would be helpful if you put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature, instructions for how to do that are here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Sometimes when people are experiencing withdrawal effects, reinstating a small amount of the medication and holding for a while can help.  If that works, then a slower taper can be started.  Here is some information about reinstatement:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

Also, please have a look through our topic on tapering zyprexa:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3743-tips-for-tapering-off-zyprexa-olanzapine/?hl=zyprexa

 

Once we have a little more information about your situation, we will be able to offer some suggestions, you will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petu.

[Omorfi]

Thank you Petu. I filled out my signature. I believe I have a sensitized nervous system. I am a performing artist and in college an advisor told me I would struggle in my career and that I was not attractive enough. It broke my heart. I was so sad and his advice was to go to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with depression and gave me Zoloft. I wasn't educated so I would go off and then if I felt sad I would go back on for years. Then while withdrawing I tore a disc and was put on steroids and had a psychosis. Then I was diagnosed bipolar and given many meds... Settling on lithium. Over a year I weaned off and stopped alcohol and caffeine and practiced daily yoga. I felt great.

Then I went to Paris to do a dance workshop of Japanese Butoh dance which is Shamanic in nature and emotionally intense and I drank coffee and wine and smoked cigarettes.....and had a mania.

Then came xyprexa, lithium...... Depression.....Zoloft.

So..... I have huge regrets and I'm paying now for my loss of discipline. I realize that I need to learn self mastery over my emotions and I may never be a performer again. But I can't live my life on medication.

 

I am so grateful for the support and for the community. You don't know how much comfort it gives

[mammaP]

Hi Omorfi, I am absolutely staggered that you were sent to a psychiatrist because you were

sad at being told you were not good enough for your chosen career and that you are not attractive!

And that led to drugs and more drugs 

 

The rest of your life starts right here, you can get off the drugs safely and get your life back. 

Please read the links Petu left for you and learn all about what you are taking and the right ways to 

taper.  I'm sorry I am not so good myself today and concentrate enough to offer advice except to

read and learn from the experts we have here. 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Omorfi.

 

It sounds like you might have gone off Zyprexa too fast. The dosage may look small but it is a powerful drug.

 

It's possible that if you take even as little as 0.5mg, you will feel better. Then, after a month or so of stabilization, you might taper by tiny amounts to go off safely.

 

Or, you may wish to stabilize on a small amount of Zyprexa and taper the Zoloft instead. Roughly speaking, Zoloft is an accelerator and Zyprexa is a brake (as is lithium). Going off the accelerator while keeping the brakes on might reduce the problem of withdrawal insomnia from Zoloft reduction.

 

For tapering Zoloft, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

[Omorfi]

Thank you for the support. I weaned off 2.5 of xyprexa even slower than my psychiatrist recommended. Good to know of the 10% rule. I am grateful I can sleep I just have this constant knot in my stomach that my mind decides is anxiety and then finds reasons to be anxious. It's quite lovely......makes me feel really sane. I will see the Dr this week and see what she says. She's the closest thing I found to a good psychiatrist and that ain't sayin much. I guess will be a slower road than I imagined. Thank you again. This is a wonderful place.

[Omorfi]

Okay.... I am off xyprexa now 2 weeks. I am sleeping but my stomach cramps and burns. I am doing energy work and my teacher taught me emotions happen when we pull up on the tissues of the body. So, instead of suffering this anxiety I try to relax my stomach. But is there a correlation with xyprexa and digestion?

[Omorfi]

I've been off xyprexa for three weeks and the fear and anxiety is scaring me. I have a therapist and a qi gong teacher who is mentoring me through this but I have terrible feelings that this is my fault. My thinking is making me suffer. If I could just change. I wasn't like this before. I was depressed on the xyprexa . Any advice on why I'm feeling like this would really help

[mammaP]

Omorfi, I have merged your latest post with this topic, it's onethread per person in the introductions forum.

This way everything flows and it is your journal. 

 

You are experiencing withdrawal, most of us have had bad thoughts and many suffer terribly with them.

It is not you, and is not your fault.  It is withdrawal. The only way to stop withdrawal is to reinstate the 

drug you are withdrawing from. As said before, it can be a very tiny amount that can make a difference. 

 

There are ways of coping with the bad thoughts, I got quite good at imagining that I was sweeping them

away with a broom and eventually they stopped.  Occasionally they pop up and I just don't give them

any time, just a quick 'where did that come from' and get on with something else.  You can learn

distraction techniques, such as changing the channel.

 http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/846-change-the-channel-dealing-with-cognitive-symptoms/

 

And a topic about self blame 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/517-blaming-yourself-for-mistakes-try-this/

 

None of this is your fault and you will get through it, we will all get there in the end, many have gone through

it and are living lives free from drugs and the problems caused by them.

[Omorfi]

Thank you so much. By reinstating the drug do you believe it's easier to taper without these effects? Or is it better to tough it out?

[mammaP]

Personally I would definitely reinstate the zyprexa. Alto suggested 0.5mg. I would stay on

that for a good few weeks to stabilise before starting a taper of either the zyprexa or zoloft.

 

You could feel better within a few days but it takes some weeks or sometimes months to

stabilise.  We all want off these drugs NOW but it really is best to take it at the pace your

body can handle to avoid the distressing symptoms you are having.

[Omorfi]

After over a year of being medicated by the drug Zyprexa and going to countless Dr's and being put on Zoloft and Lithium to clear the depression, I gained the strength to go through the process of tapering off the medications. The Zyprexa withdrawal hell was difficult but with a very good mentor training me in Qi Gong I tapped into my anger. Because what more is depression than suppressed anger? I did it and as the panic subsided I began to see and feel my light again. It was dormant the whole time I was on the Zyprexa. I am a performing artist and for they year and a half that I was medicated I didn't sing or dance or dream. I was trying to fit into a society of people that worked and had mortgages and I couldn't get out of my darkness. 

When I finished the Zyprexa withdrawal I began the process of withdrawing from the Zoloft and my days got lighter and lighter. My therapist was so happy with my process that she called my psychiatrist and told me to go off the Zoloft...I was at 25mg from 100mg. At this time I made a grave mistake. I went off the Zoloft and the Lithium cold turkey. 

 

I was elated to be free. But, I could not contain my elatedness. I went into what we label as "mania". I was free as an artist again but I couldn't be responsible. I was so free. 

 

I have spent the summer in mental wards. Medicated with this and that. I cheeked the Zyprexa in one hospital to be medicated with Latuda and back on the lithium in another. I was put on Saphris and I am no being taken off of Sapphris and put back on Latuda.  I am sad again. My artistic light in gone. My hair is falling out. I am afraid. I am depressed. And mostly I am sad. I am sad for all the work I put in...and now I am back at square one. 

 

 

[lexicon]

Gia sou glikia mou Omorfi ❤️

 

I have thought of you so very often, praying that you are doing well ..I am saddened that you have gone through so much, and that you are in distress ..

But you cannot loose hope .. You proved that you are strong, and that you will defeat these drugs, and be free once again ..

 

You are here, where there is care, encouragement and support .. With so many of us holding your hand, you will succeed ❤️

 

Keep walking, my dear Omorfi .. The end of this dark tunnel is there .. Waiting ..

 

Sending you much love, and wishing you healing blessings ..

 

Lexi

[Omorfi]

Thank you lexi for replying. I appreciate  your support. This is a difficult position I am in. And I am really lacking support. I was hoping to get some replies to this as I wrote from my heart. I guess maybe I didn't write the right things. I don't know what to do at this point. I hate this sadness. It disables me. I lost my strength to believe that I am okay without the need of medication. If the medication made me feel good I would take it. But, already after a few weeks I have lost my spark to live. 

Thank you again for reaching out. 

[lexicon]

Omorfi, please have faith and trust, that things will improve and that they will get better ..

 

Caring and supportive people will be here shortly to guide you ..

 

This is the best place to be, with cumulative years of knowledge.. Please do not loose your trust .. You explained your situation just fine ..

Help is on the way ..

 

Thinking of you, and holding you in prayer ..❤️

 

Love, Lexi

[bubble]

Hello Omorfi,

 

just like MammaP in April, I have merged your two threads for the reasons below.

Omorfi, I have merged your latest post with this topic, it's one thread per person in the introductions forum.

This way everything flows and it is your journal. 

 

I'm very sorry for your suffering and the summer spent in medical wards where they seem to have done more experimenting with drugs on you. 

 

It seems that you didn't reinstate Zyprexa as advised back in March and your withdrawal got worse and you ended on more medication that made things even worse It also seems that you started coming off of Zoloft too quickly and too soon. 

 

Coming off these strong medications, changing them, going up and down in dosages severely destabilises our CNS causing all sort of symptoms. But if we reduce them very slowly and patiently we manage to regrow our brain and thanks to its plasticity get ourselves back. So don't despair. 

 

Updating your signature with all the changes in medication you have gone through recently will help us offer more advice and suggestions. 

 

best, bubble

 

I see another reply came as I was writing this so as always you will get a lot of support here.

[Omorfi]

Thank you very much. I really really appreciate this support. I now have Dr's and therapists who really think medicine is the answer and now after some time being back on them I feel the fog of depression settling in. The Dr's can say "oh well this is bi polar" But I know when i was free from the Xyprexa and going slow off the others I was stable. I took some bad advice to go off the Zoloft at 25mg from my therapist and even worse advise from myself stopping the Lithium 

I feel powerless. I keep saying...maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am really bi polar and hoping the medicine won't be as bad this time. But as I sit here almost a month back in. I feel the familiar loss of life. The loss of my creative spirit that I love so much. My parent are afraid and say "you see, you can't risk going back in the hospital..stay on the meds" But, to me they feel like death. 

 

In my mania I lost the support I depended on and now I am left to the devices of people that think drugs are the answer. 

I feel so alone. 

[bubble]

Thank you for updating your signature. I'm not so familiar with Zyprexa and Saphiris and other meds you were taking but somebody more knowledgeable will come back to you soon to suggest a best course of action under the present circumstances.

 

It would be good if you could add at least approximate dates of when all those drugs were introduced and stopped and their dosages. If you are up to details of your taper of Zyprexa and Zoloft would be very helpful because this is what caused all this chaos. 

 

last spring doesn't really help because next year it will be hard to tell which spring was last so that's why we go for years  

[Petunia]

Hi Omorfi,

 

I'm sorry you have ended up back at this place of being heavily medicated again and having your light blocked out by the drugs.  After reading back through your thread, I don't think you needed medication in the first place.

 

The Zyprexa withdrawal hell was difficult but with a very good mentor training me in Qi Gong I tapped into my anger. Because what more is depression than suppressed anger? ...

 

... My therapist was so happy with my process that she called my psychiatrist and told me to go off the Zoloft...I was at 25mg from 100mg. At this time I made a grave mistake. I went off the Zoloft and the Lithium cold turkey. 

 

 I went into what we label as "mania".

 

 

Sometimes depression or sadness can be caused by suppressed anger, but I would think, from your drug history, most of your symptoms have been caused by drug side effects and withdrawal.

 

The Dr's can say "oh well this is bi polar" But I know when i was free from the Xyprexa and going slow off the others I was stable. I took some bad advice to go off the Zoloft at 25mg from my therapist and even worse advise from myself stopping the Lithium 

 

I keep saying...maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am really bi polar

 

If I were you I would stop saying those things about being crazy and bi-polar and pay attention to the first sentence.

 

You can get off your medication, get your life back on track and get your light back, but, its not going to happen if you keep making the same mistakes.  I'm so sorry you got put on these drugs in the first place, it never should have happened.  But now its up to you to take back control of your life, which you can do by learning how to taper properly, how to take care of yourself and by having patience.

 

I suggest you read back through your thread.

 

 

In my mania I lost the support I depended on and now I am left to the devices of people that think drugs are the answer. 

I feel so alone. 

 

I would re frame that as:  "The acute withdrawal symptoms from stopping my medication too fast caused me to behave in socially unacceptable ways and some people abandoned me because of this".

 

We here at SA don't think that drugs are the answer, so you are not alone.  But you do need to decide if you are going to take responsibility for stopping the drugs safely this time.  We can help, but you have to help us to help you, by answering questions the best you can, providing information about drugs, dates, dosages etc, letting us know what's going on and staying in touch.

 

Once you get back to us with more details, we will be in a better position to offer support and suggestions about where to go from here.

 

Petu.

[Omorfi]

Thank you. 

I tried to fix my signature with dates and dosages to the best of my ability. I feel really afraid this time because of how I behaved after I withdrew too fast. It scares me and my family just sees it as mania. I am really confused and started to feel more depressed everyday. 

[Omorfi]

I hope someone can help. 

After having a summer of what looks like Mania I am sitting in ruins. I am back to being on anti-psych meds and every day gets darker. Can someone please advise me on where to go from here? 

[Altostrata]

What are you taking now, when did you start, and what are your symptoms?

[Omorfi]

Currently I am taking 20mg of Latuda and 600mg of Lithium. I have been on this regimen for one week. 

For three weeks prior I was on 10mg Saphris and 600mg Lithium. This I was given in the hospital. 

 

After consulting a Psychiatrist she decided against the Saphris and we did a 4 day taper and switch to Latuda. 

 

My symptoms are weight gain, lack of drive and creativity, and depression. This has slowly gotten worse in the last two weeks. 

 

The Doctor would like for me to go up to 40mg of Latuda and possibly start an antidepressant. 

 

Thank you for your replay. Thank you. 

[Rhiannon]

Looks like they put you on Latuda and lithium, took you off the Latuda and put you on Saphris, then back off the Saphris and back on the Latuda, all within what, less than three months? 

 

And before that, you came down from Zoloft really fast and basically CT'd Zoloft and lithium at substantial dosages.

 

And even before THAT, you were in acute withdrawal from coming off Zyprexa over just two months (pretty fast)--which it appears is when you came to the forum.

 

This situation is complex. All that changing of meds, and the sudden withdrawals and CTs, is very destabilizing, so this is not a good time to be trying to quit meds. It sounds like you are under the care of a psychiatrist who is adjusting your drugs, which is not something we can help you with. We don't tell people what meds to take or not take, we just help them if they are wanting to taper off the meds they are on, if we can.

 

You might want to get a copy of Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker and read it with your parents, partner, or other significant people in your life, so that you can open a conversation about these meds and their impact on your life and where you would like to go with them.

 

I think most psychiatrists and other providers, if you talk to them about it, would be willing to work with you toward a goal of being on the lowest possible doses of the fewest possible meds that you can be okay on. That might be a good goal to begin negotiations with.

 

Eventually, if you do want to reduce or taper your meds, we have lots of information and advice about what works for people and how to do that in ways that will work for you. We will be glad to share that advice. However, it only works if you listen to it and follow it. If you don't, we can't fix the consequences. I wish we could!

[Omorfi]

Thank you. It is a very complicated situation. I have a mentor that has been more help than any Doctor and I have had to basically beg for his forgiveness to work with me again. It is an interesting process he has me going through. I must devise a letter explaining where I went wrong, what I could have done different and how I made amends. Because this summer I was not in a stable state whatsoever this process is very painful and humbling. I see right from the get go where I went wrong and it stems from coming off the meds too quickly, not having self care, being too ambitious and impatient and basically not listening to those who were trying to help me. It is hard and he has given me to time to go over and over this letter until I find answers. 

 

I guess at this point I will remain on the meds until I find some stability in my life. This is hard for me because I remember oh so well the feeling of being trapped on the Xyprexa. I really have no other choice. I admit I am afraid because I feel the darkness settling in. But, I have to be strong. I have to work now. Falling into a debilitating depression would only hinder any progress. 

 

Its humbling to start again. To know you basically caused your demise. To know you made real progress to only lose it in one second. I guess I share this with anyone withdrawing from meds. The importance of patience can not be taken lightly. It can take you steps back...even leaps back. 

 

I have returned to yoga and from being a pretty intermediate yoga practitioner, my body is worse than when I started. My body shakes. I cannot straighten my legs. And this only after 3 months of not practicing. All these changes to my nervous system must have affected my body. 

 

I thank you for your support. I will definately need it as this is a very humbling process. 

[Rhiannon]

Oh hon, I know all about humble! Sigh... :-)

[Altostrata]

Omorfi, who is this mentor?

[Omorfi]

My mentor is a man that I met in San Francisco. He is a Qi Gong Master among working with many other modalities.  He has been really helpful for me the past 4 years. I have been a truly terrible student. Really, I have broken rules again and again. I can't even believe he is considering working with me again. But, even this process of going through my mistakes as painful as it is. It empowers me in a way. In a very strange way because it is so painful. He never guides me on medication and insists before working together that I have Dr's in place. 

[Omorfi]

I wanted to thank you Rhi for the recommendation of reading the Anatomy of an Epidemic. I told my father of the book and he immediately ordered it from Amazon and picked it up from the library. After reading only the forward and the first chapter I am astonished. My father also thought it was quite interesting. He asked if there were any answers in the book of only questions. I hope to find some. Thank you again. 

[Petunia]

Copied from tapering:

 

I am back on medication and with advisement this is no time to start to taper. I understand that. But, it doesn't take away the dampening of my moods that the medications don't seem to help. 

 

So, what advice does anyone have to anyone in this position. When you don't feel good but it is not the time to taper? I know these medicines don't do great things to my mind and body. But, right now I must take them to become "stable". 

 

I would appreciate and ideas. 

Thank you

 

This would be a good time to put in place some healthy lifestyle habits which will then be able to carry you through your eventual taper and life after.  Eat regular, healthy meals.  Start an exercise routine doing something you enjoy.  Engage yourself in an interesting hobby.  Read, meditate, study, learn, spend time with pleasant, supportive people.  You might not feel good, but if you  do some of these things anyway, it will  start 're-wiring' your brain to respond positively to a balanced lifestyle. I think it takes about 6 weeks for something to become a new habit.

 

Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful non-drug ideas to help manage symptoms.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

[Omorfi]

I am currently on week 3 of Latuda and I feel similar side effects to Xyprexa. Does anyone have information on what Latuda actually does and also have tapering experiences. Thank you in advance 

[Abilifyneedhelp88]

coYes my experience on Latuda was quite horrific with very exaggerated abnormal muscle movements to the point where I put an er call into my doc who failed to call over a holiday weekend...left with a pharmacist call who immediately told me to d/c at 80mg however having medical training myself and thinking I might put myself in worse shape by ct'ing it I made a move to d/c it by crossing over to 2mg of risperadol which in my opinion was a smart move for myself since no one had sensible advice to me at the time..i remember at the time how fearful I was at just stopping it and my husband and I debated for a few hours on "what would the doctor do?

 

since we had no help whatsoever and was getting scary advise from the Pharmd...so that's what I ended up doing at the time then my story followed on....effects from not gradually tapering Latuda can be psychosis by the nature of the withdraw, insomnia, anxiety, panic and terror...sorry to say and hear you are having sx's but unfortunately latuda comes in 20, 40, and 80..some people not many can handle coming off in a month but to most w/d experts it takes a more gradually decrease of 5 to 10% within a liquid medium which you can find instructions here or on facebook for proper recommended techniques from those who have handled the throes of a ride bent on hell but what is needed are decreases over a few weeks at each decrease level...not something to mess around with...

 

many are put on latuda under the false pretense that somehow you can avoid a psychotic episode however due to the nature of the drug itself after resonating in your brain for however long, it reorganizes organic brain chemistry thus resulting in the primary w/d symptoms and the ever present psychosis itself to which the drug is supposed to be recommended for...its like a catch 22..going on this to avoid psychosis but in actuality coming off can produce the very symptom you were trying to avoid in the first place.....

 

. it takes time and patience for this and for healing to happen with the primary goal of returning to a homeostasis state with a resolution of symptoms using other methods of natural self care with a real emphasis of doing whatever it takes but to return to the pdoc who will likely say to you that the illness is returning b/c it at times w/d mimics relapse

 

however this is not what is happening, most likely the doc will look at you and say or try to either reintroduce or switch to something else as they truly have no clue and end up making the experience worse by their lack of experience, lack of education and true ignorance as to what is w/d and what are symptoms of an "disorder...

 

one has to delineate the differences, stick with the process and realize it may not be a smooth transition, however sx's eventually subside, clarity returns and you take a lookback at your checkered past and don't understand how you could have survived, but still breathing here to talk about it...

 

for me it was hell being on the drugs not having a clear indication that my behavior, suicide attempts, and quite unusual w/d symptoms were all related to the imbalance that was created for me from the uses of these drugs...question myself at times at the incredible marvel of healing the human body is if taken care of compassionately, sensitively with others who can offer support as to their experiences.

 

 I made my home into a temp. psych ward and luckily my husband learned that my wild rages, punches in the wall, screaming, punching pillows, breaking dishes, throwing glasses across the room at the wall- I never met a man who just got up and started cleaning up all the broken pieces and just accepted it. He could have called 911 on me so many times but he didn't because I think somehow he knew I had to go through this and a 22nd rehospitalization would have been futile since we were dealing with the exorbitness of w/d primarily as some of the worst human suffering imagineable. I am not sure what my husband must of thought when I was literally asking him to kill me so I wouldn't suffer anymore...glad those days are in the past...and all the times I walked around saying I just can't handle this.  And not to mention  exclaiming that I wanted and just needed to die were all part of the process including incessant crying and overemotionality were all attempts at regaining self control, achieving homeostasis and returning to a normal state..

 

I had to learn the depths of grief and emotional pain so intense and the fear I never felt on the drugs which literally closed me off from myself and my humanness and god given emotions...I learned the power of intense rage and anger and the ferocity of the depths of myself...I learned that medicating emotions is futile and that in order to appreciate being human we were meant to feel and to soothe ourselves. 

 

I have been literally overwhelmed  after realizing how duped I was into believing I had an illness but what I didn't realize is how insidious the drugs were to manipulating my mind until I withdrew entirely and the terrible thoughts and images dissipated...

 

it can be equated with living a horror film in your head all complete with violent intrusive thoughts which in the past I thought were an illness symptom but in research found it was from the d*** drug and at times the w/d process.and also towards the pathetic knowledge from the pdocs who are literally killing us off through their lack of awareness and expertise and willingness to allow w/d in fear of liability..can't say enough about the process of suffering and hanging on sometimes 5 sec. at a time until peace came around again...

 

never felt hate until I realized that a doctor with a drug coercion dx can be so damaging to someone labeled with a MI...its a true test of survival...bc ultimately whatever imbalance you were thought to have had now brings forth a new set of physical challenges once w/d is complete with periods of intense emotion and at times what can be equated with mental torture of a mind gone haywire in the dark realm.

 

It is not always a pretty picture...but we do make it to the other side...

 

..doctors should be required to ingest these drugs for themselves before coercing a patient under false informed consent under the subjectiveness of a checklist and then a lifetime of "you have an illness brainwashing..you must take these for the rest of your life so I can add an addition to my house while setting up for my long extended expensive retirement...

 

never be fooled by a pdoc who claims you need these drugs like its a survival mechanism..we do fine on food and water and rest, we do not need unresearched chemicals long term clouding our brains and suffering on a physical level not to mention the trauma of rehospitalization to abate the inevitable process of w/d and its rather unpredictable nature..I would say...fasten your seatbelt at this point...

 

Good Luck on your journey and know that there are many many survivors out there....who recognize the true insanity these drugs can cause to no fault of the patient themselves...It takes awhile to return to learning and rediscovering who you are but once have sunken to the depths and thus have the ability and can rise to the heavens...

Edited May 21, 2016 by JanCarol
paragraph breaks for ease of reading, color for good points

[Altostrata]

Omorfi, I moved your question and ANH's response here.

 

Here is information about Latuda http://www.drugs.com/pro/latuda.html

 

Google is always a good way to answer this type of question.

[Omorfi]

The feeling I get after a manic episode when I am medicated is awful. I fear everything. I don't feel sure about myself. I worry 100% of the time. I feel stuck. I can't laugh or have fun. I've been here before. I am not strong enough to go off meds right now. But, I feel every effect of them. I was given an anti depressant....now I'm not sleeping. They suggest seroquel and trazidone and klonopin. I refuse. I refused the anti psychotic too. Now its Lithium and Well butrin. But, I worry about my life constantly. I feel stuck. I don't feel like myself at all. 

 

I know better than to take the drugs they push. But, I don't deny my depression. I don't deny my anxiety. I've been here before. 

 

What do I do to get strong enough? How do I fight through this when i don't feel like myself? Of course I want to be off drugs but I had a summer of manic episodes because I cold turkeyed my lithium while i was just finishing withdrawals from xyprexa and zoloft. 

 

Can anyone give me advice how to push through this? Has anyone else felt like this? Every time I have a manic episode it feels like this. I feel lost and wandering and I don't want to live another year of this. 

[Altostrata]

Omorfi, I moved your post here. Please use this topic as your journal.

 

What drugs are you on now?

 

You need better medical care. You need a doctor who is going to pay attention to the adverse effects you get from these drugs.

[Omorfi]

First, I must thank all of the members of the website for having the courage to communicate their feelings on a very trying and taboo subject. I have learned that support is so deeply important to healing. 

 

I have fallen down again. After a great stride in tapering from Lithium and Trileptal I was not successful because of a steroid zpack for a sinus infection and not learning to ground when that subtle opening occurs after coming down off medications and becoming to speedy and ambitious to be free of the pills. 

 

Now, where I am is titrating from 3mg of Risperdol that I was given in the hospital. Luckily, my Doc admits to "hating" this drug. I fiercely dislike it as well. But what I really dislike is the withdrawals. I am currently at 1.5mg and I am staying here because my early morning risings filled with anxiety and my fun mood swings tell me to hold my ground for a minute or so. I am also on 450mg of Trileptal and 600mg of Lithium. I am Queen mood stabilizer I suppose. I am optimistic at the moment but 5 hours ago I was in tears and feeling completely trapped in this cycle. But, I am came here to find support once again. 

 

I welcome any advice. I thank you again for all you are doing to reach out.