LexAnger

LexAnger: tapering or no-tapering, generic vs. name brand lexapro

771 posts in this topic

Hello LexAnger,

 

Can i ask how are you doing your drops? I saw your post on Amyk forum, you said your are putting 1.5 drop on 150 ml. How do you calculate 0.07 from the 150 ml? Im curious.

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Hi SERT,

 

After reaching the tiny dose round 0.1-0.2ml, I felt regardless how accurate you can do using the synrige, it can have daily fluctuation. I noticed each drop from the synrige is approximately 0.04 ml ( my original Lexapro liquid is 5mg/ ml) so at one time when I'm close to 0.08 ml, I changed to measure using drops instead of ML, which is much more accurate. Since then I dilute the 2 drops by adding 200 ml water, and tapering down from there by reducing whatever the doses I decided to as its so easy to measure from the 200 ml solution, just need to be careful about the math each time cutting down.

 

For my current dose, 0.062mg, it's an estimate as I don't really count the mg anymore since then, only Drops and ml, this is how I do,

 

Take 1 whole drop -- straight and easy, about 0.04mg

Take another drop into a container, add 100 ml water, then take 55 ml of it-- about 0.022 mg

 

So I use the second drop solution ( 0.04mg/100ml) to taper, it's not hard to make reduction of 0.0004mg as it measures 1 ml of the diluted solution. Also due to its super low concentration, the error is close to zero for even the smallest drop.

 

I do need to remember to shake it well though before taking the 55ml.

 

Right down the formulas so you can see it when you do the titration just be sure no mess up by accident.

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Nice and precise. :)

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LA you have been in my thoughts and prayers for a long time now.  Big hug x

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Dear GrandmaD, you too are in my prayer and I'm still following you. Most times in the past 2 months, I was not able to communicate verbally or in written so my apology for not being able to write much here.

 

I am very happy for your recent improvement !!

 

I'm patiently waiting, enduring for the day when I have a clue what this toroidal is taking me to, and when my fried brain can make a comprehensive post.

 

Love and hugs,

Lex

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May your patient endurance pay off!  You are almost there, look after yourself, thinking of you still x

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Hugs to you GrandmaD!

Even I'm completely crippled, I have confidence that my brain is working very hard and will get its original balance and functions back.

Now without much drug to play with, I can focus more on the natural healing, not like before I have to debating about dosage everyday, a huge stressor.

 

Hope you are still coping fine.

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Hi LA, glad you are  pushing through, not far to go now and then you can concentrate on recovering.  Thank you, I am coping much better this week, no headaches, very few pressure heads and able to breathe a lot better, that is, I can take a deep breathe now when I want which is such a relief as I couldn't do that before.  At the end of my taper with a week to go, so hoping next week is even better!

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GrandMaD,

 

I'm so happy for you having a window with the long hold! You deserve it so well.

 

 

I'm now very certain that my recent fast dose reduction is a big NO. Even it was a forced action due to drug reaction, I probably should have stayed at 0.2 mg without further dropping quicklly to the current dose of 0.06 mg, as the drug reaction was totally manageable by then. I'm paying it by being totally bed ridden now.

 

So be slow as much as possible. Turtles will win the battle.

 

Hugs,

Lex

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Lex, I hope you will feel better soon. It WILL change.

Lots of love, Amy

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Hi Lex,

 

You will make it! For sure!

 

We can beat these two evils! 

 

Hugs

 

Rain

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Thank you dear Amy for your dearest care and continuous support!

 

My apology for not being able to respond promptly. I used to have daily windows oftentimes in evening, but the past months have been in constant lost both physically and mentally.

 

Totally defeated is how I feel lots times, but I know I still have to continue.

 

You are so right dear Amy! Every time I'm in desparate, I would remember what you told me, that it will change! I guess the past month has been particularly challenging not only because the high level debilitating symptoms but also no sign of changing ( for better), I used to bounce back pretty quickly.

 

I try to remind my self this is no surprise for such a huge drop in one month, which I planned to do in a year.

 

Hope you are doing well!

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Hey, rain,

 

Thanks for stopping by and the world of encouragement!

I'm glad you are moving along well with the tapering plan!

 

Yes, I know in my heart that we will eventually make it to the other side. If not for the need of keeping my job, I can totally live with it until my Brian is healed by time.

 

Keep the good work,

Lex

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I'm sorry it has to be so hard for you!  Give yourself plenty of time to recover and for your nervous system to heal.  Take care, we are all here cheering you on! x

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Thanks Lex! 

 

We are together to fight these evils! 

 

Hugs!

 

Rain

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Hi Lex! 

 

How are you these days?

 

My head has cleared up a bit already after my drop to zero. I think you are right about the "reaction" thing. Just some insomnia and periodically akathisia/restlessness, but nothing more than usual. Hopefully things will continue to improve. How long did it take before you were hit by WD after your last cut? 

 

Cipramillion. 

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Hi cipromillion,

 

So good to hear your great news!! Finally-- how wonderful to be free from these killer drugs and land safely!!

 

Definitely hope the insomnia is not too bad and will resolve soon by itself. I had chronic insomnia pre Lexapro time, and thought it was resolved magically when I just started Lexapro only later I realized it's the sedation effect of Lexapro, a needed side effect for my case. I know once I'm off completely I will have insomnia again as that's how I am. I still sleep a lot now with the 0.06 mg, that's how effective this drug is.

 

My response to dose cut usually is rather fast, I would know it the night immediately after the day I make a cut with the classical symptom-- ear pain and less sleep (still 8 hours ). The last and the worst WD episode I'm still going through started also couple days after my biggest cut (0.8 to 0.2), I had one or two very clear minded days immediately looking like my old normal self, but was hit big soon and it has been evolving over the past month as I kept cutting everyday until I reached 0.06mg.

 

I used to bounce back quickly too from WD hit, but not this time. It's getting worse everyday. Well I never did such a jump either before, and never be so close to zero.

 

Go for wild celebration, nothing can beat this huge achievement!

 

Lots hugs,

Lex

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Due for a long delayed update, a brief one, as my brain is not capable of a comprehensive recap of all the wildness happened since I dropped dose like running into a tornado!

 

 

Quite a lot new and weird, scary symptoms since down from 0.9 to 0.2 mg in one month, most severe flu like, lost feeling of left body, strange pains, head sensation, But still managing with ok days or hours.

 

Been very unwell in general since down to 006 mg from 0.2 in the following month with the most severe symptom of breathlessness companied by paralyzed left brain and body, total confusion, burning, needling, heart failure like status.

 

Been having a heart failure feeling everyday past week while holding 0.06, touching the tiny dose usually helps lifting the heart up until today heart was like passed out not pounding barely feel alive and the dose won't do the trick.

 

Tried Celexa two days ago feeling it's good and bad are exactly the same as Lexapro plus something weird and unfamiliar, so decided to stay with Lexapro

 

Eventually convinced that updose is a must to save the heart, doesn't matter how determined I was to tough it out.

 

So took 0.12 mg for the day. After finishing 0.8 mg, I was like lifting up from death, felt energetic a couple hours later, enough for gym, so went and had the most normal 2 hours there for the 4 part routine, trade mill, weights, sauna and swim.

 

I think I was little manic from the updose while in gym, like full of good energy even laughed with ppl around, felt weak again back home but still livable. Great thing no drug reaction so fat.

 

Conclusion, that fast taper is a big NO.

 

Will see what follows as it goes.

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So nice to hear about your excersise, Lex! Things will continue to improve over time. Its all about surviving this terrible phase. There is so much preaching about permanent damage from SSRIs online, but the fact is that we dont know the long term outcome for these drugs. We need systematic reviews and unbiased design to answer that empirical question. Im fairly optimistic when it comes to tapering long term with these drugs. I thought my brain was fried forever when i first got that immidiate adverse reactions and then WD on top of that. But my CNS has healed so much on a ultra low dose/tapering. Evolution is no joke, and our CNS can repair itself over time. Amazing stuff! And there are no systematic studies on microtapering. But just look at the evidence from this site. Turtles win the race! Think about all the people that probably has recovered and never write on this site again. They might just want to forget all about this hell and move on. Who can blame them? I see alot of hope in that fact. In my opinion, Alto and the staff here are the most competent people in the whole world on the subject WD and tapering. Hands down! No doctor could even get close to the knowledge you have about your unique story and how to manage symptoms. Its an incredible achievement, and it will pay off in the end!

 

Sorry about all those words, but just wanted to share some optimistic thoughts with you in such a dark time. Hell, im even drinking my first cup of coffee without breaking down as i write this. It must be a good sign  :D

 

Hugs!

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Lex, I am with you.

How good of you to updose a bit. I hope will feel more relief and then can do a smooth taper from here on. I can understand the heart failures scared you. How does it feel now?

Many hugs!

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We've been fooled so many times. These drugs are dangerous, they were designed to make you a chronic patient for the rest of your life. 

The pharmaceutical companies want us to be dependent on them, so they created this...

 

Hang on there LEX. You did well in updosing, now please stabilize... HUGS

 

FSL

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How are you Lex? Sorry to hear about your heart problems. Have you been to a ECG?

 

Sigh. These drugs are just pure poison ????

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My heart is back to function most of the day, with the tiny dose incraese like a miracle, I actually couldn't finish the 0.12 mg last night feeling too much already so just took 0.11 mg. this morning felt the typical drug reaction ( or let's just call it side effects) with needling pain, tension, tight teeth, aches allover, and slight nausea, but energy was almost was back wuite a bit without much sick feeling in heart. My spirit was even high evenough to try on those clothes I couldn't wear due to sickness, and for the upcoming summer.

 

After quite a lot debating, Also decided to push out for a long drive along the coast ( my typical activity every spring, and missing it so much this year) but returned due to cloudy weather and feeling weak and sick again right around the time. Ended up having a quick lunch on the way back, still feeling very unwell, so started dosing , Half hour later feeling better with 0.02 mg finished, even better after 0.04 mg done so went to a hiking trail for one hour. Feeling even better during the hike.

 

Now back home done with 0.04mg, still feeling ok except for the pain.

 

As for the heart problem, there are published research on how Lexapro and Celexa can cause serious heart disease by interface the electric signals. We have one member in the forum got serious heart damage from CT 10 mg Lexapro, she helped me with my initial heart issues back in 2015.

 

Things can't be more dramatic in the war with ssri!

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Thank all my dear friends! I'm so grateful to have you with me along this most incredible journey! the special friendship we built will be one of the thing I will cherish for the rest of my life, and I am also very grateful to alto for having this site to have us connected.

 

Love

Lex

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I am glad you felt so much better! These drugs!

I hope it continues, Lex. Enough of this for you now.

 

I am also very greatful, for the friendship - and for the site.

Hugs!

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Hi Lex - stopping by to see how you are doing . You did a few changes I gues celexa was no good, but at least you tried so now you know. I can completely relate on how scary it is to decide on what to do switch updose or taper you just never know . It sounds like you are doing better with the dose increase . Being in the nature always makes me feel good, I can't wait to hike soon also

Wishing you continuing progress and hang in there

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LexAnger - did you ever experience anxiety while tapering or being on lexapro ? I know experiences are different but I am curious . I used to love going to the gym but anxiety was keeping me from it from actually a lot of social places .

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Thanks Any and Blondiee!

 

So the second day I was able to take 0.12mg, feeling pretty good for 2 days. Then after 3 days on the increased dose, the drug reaction flared back in full force. After the first tiny dose of about 0.004 mg in morning, severe reaction symptoms burning, tightening teeth, feel like every muscle in head is spasmed, super uncomfortable the entire body wanting to burst out, extreme dry month. These lasted entire day even without taking any more doses. These are my typical drug reaction symptoms. Now in evening the severe DR also flared back. I'm very scared of taking more doses.

 

The past three day my body is in great craving for drug, and the drug provided quick relief of the heart problem, paralyzed left brain and body, breathlessness. Now after the reaction this morning, my body is rejecting the drug completely. At the same time, no WD symptoms at all entire day even without taking the dose until now except for the tiny tough in the morning.

 

Totally stacked.

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LexAnger - did you ever experience anxiety while tapering or being on lexapro ? I know experiences are different but I am curious . I used to love going to the gym but anxiety was keeping me from it from actually a lot of social places .

I remember I used to feel very anxious those years when I was on Lexapro more consistently. During severe WD, I don't feel obvious anxiety if any, at most just some background anxious feeling. I also feel extreme difficulty in meeting ppl and getting in public places but I think it's due to my super uncomfortable and tense body. Or I should say my anxiety is more physical than mental.

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How did it go, Lex?

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So grateful to hear you Amy! You are always there for my rescue!

 

Feeling totally defeated and desparate entire night. Even the energy is good for gym, by pst skipped as feeling so uncomfortable every cell of my body.

 

Surprisingly, the rest dosing didn't bring up new symptoms neither worsening the existing ones. So finished 0.08 mg by now at 11:30pm. DR lessened too ( scary fell like close to hallucinations), still itchy allover plus needling and achy head.

 

Thinking to take the rest 0.04mg if doable, then see what happens tomorrow. As I know lower doses will bring the heart problem back, so need to bear with the reaction as much as possible.

 

No WD symptoms entire day, all from reaction. This is typical in my experience they usually don't coexist for a given hour, or day like today.

 

I'm guessing the dose incraese numbed great amount neurons so serotonin level is too high today causing the reaction symptoms, and the same reason for WD in check.

 

Hard to believe this tiny dose can do so much, must be the extremely sensitized system.

 

Hope is, giving the absolute dose amount is so small, reaction is limited in long term effects,

 

Been in so much tourture for so long, I couldn't help but cried few times talking to friends at work about the horrible suffering and how hard to get through each day,and how hopeless the situation is, not typical of me being a single mom and always strong for my son.

 

Will wait for a better update.

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Sorry focused so too much about my misery.

 

How are you doing?

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It must be so hard. Try to focus on that it won't be long until all this is over. When this whole drug situation comes to end. I really believe you will feel so much better drug free.

I cant give you advice, you know your body the best. Just remember I am here to support you.

Good of you to open up to some of your colleagues, that must be a relief.

I hope you can have a good night's sleep! Many hugs!

 

(I am ok. I feel "lighter" :). )

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Thinking of you Lex. Your strength is beyond what most people can understand. Being a single mom in all this. You are doing an incredible job!

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Yes, Amy. I'm very lucky in that regards. I have quite a few trusting friends at work (they are the only ones really as outsiders truely understand) who I shed my agony to. They even read books, informations, and SA stories to understand the real problem and suffering. One of them analyze my daily situation and provide her insightful opinion on strategy for tapering plan etc. helping me with decision on how to make it possible to keep the job.

 

Going through this process for so long without being the high performer I used to be is very heartbreaking, and it's very difficult to maintain respect from ppl around you-- which is even more heartbreaking, it's a true blessing these kind and wise souls not only have empathy but also kept respect ( to the minimal dignity I'm trying so hard to maintain when present myself).

 

I own them for life.

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Thank you cipromillion for your very touching words and encouragement!

 

Yes, being a single mom made a super women out of me going through the extreme journey. I put a period to my mind long time ago that regardless how much I want to take the easy path, I have no such option. Ppl know my battle often comments the streghth I have, I always tell that every single one going throu this is a hero, even you were not hero material originally.

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