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LexAnger, April 18, 2014
Posted March 26
How is it going, Lex? Hugs!
Thanks Amy for checking on mea,
I have been holding at 0.13mg for a week now, feeling better overall, sometimes even feel pretty goo like my old self. Brain is not as consumed or melting as before, heart is back to its place most times, more pain all types new and old, bad head sensation various, Definitely still heavy symptoms everyday but overall functionality is better than the past month. A big improvement is in DR and drugged feeling which is pretty much gone most time. I used to live in Hanover status which is very disabliling.
I think the positive effects are from both the tiny dose ( DR, motivation, libidos, brain ) and the recent updose (heart, breathlessness and fatigue improved a lot))
I see fair couple hours to few hours everyday now so resumed gym too. Even did a 2.5 hour hike yesterday feeling a lot like my old self.
How about you? do you still feel obvious effects from the drug, and / WD when you stabilize after each cut?
I'm glad you're feeling better, LexAnger.
Thats great news, Lex!
You will continue to improve!
I am happy to hear that, Lex! Gym and a hike, wonderful news!
I am ok. Still symtoms and still wd, but it doesnt last long (fingers crossed).
Posted March 28
thanks all for checking on!
I feel like I entered to a new chapter since the updose to 0.13 from 0.06mg just a week ago.
heart/breathlessness/extreme fatigue gradually stopped since the updose. the other 2 major disabling symptoms from drug reaction --brain dead/confusion and DR are also lessoning quite a lot in terms of frequency and intensity.
what became very strong lately are the pains and aches, old and new, various types on head, face, jaw, teeth, shoulder, back, plus severe burning and needling all over.
what I found interesting is (have been a while though in the past month or two), I usually have one day with the pain symptoms and the next with burning/needling. When its a pain day, dosing would help with symptoms, while in a burning/needling day, taking dose can make the symptoms 10 times more severe. It makes sense to me as burning/needling always has been my drug reaction symptoms, and pain is my WD symptoms, but what I don't understand is the alternating pattern.
anyway, I am happy to have more brain functions back and that barria DR is a horrible state to live in.
Sending you love and healing vibes Lex.
Posted April 3
Hey Lex, hope you will stabilize soon!
Posted April 4
Thank you FSL and Rain! Your support is holding me up continuing the journey!
Hope you are coping well!
Posted April 5
I hope you are somewhat ok, Lex! Hugs!
Posted April 6
Thinking of you too Amy! Never been this bad, in huge struggle.
Hope you are doing ok!
Oh, Lex. Remember, it won't last forever.
I am much better.
Sending healing thoughts.
Hi Lex, hope you will feel better soon . Stay strong ! Whenever I have a terrible time I always think that the window will be around the corner and that gives me some relief .
Posted April 11
Hi Lex saw your comment in Amy's intro and thought it was your intro so moved my comment here to say....hope this latest wave passes real fast.
Hang in there.
Stay strong, Lex! Remember turtles win the race!
Lots of hugs!
Thank you all my dear friends! I feel blessed having you around in this darkest place.
Posted April 19
How are you doing Lex ?
Posted April 20
Wow, what courage! In similar situation so wondering, do you think switching to liquid may have affected you? I'm close to same dosage as when you started, and not sure if I should switch to liquid and not sure if I should taper to 2.5 as do you think your original drop to that caused problems?Do you think this affected your symptoms?
FSL, thanks for checking on me!
I'm still in the most severe situation ever. Both WD and reaction, hardly able to hang in.
How are you?
I don't think switching to liquid is the main issue for me, although it could have been some issues. My main issue has always been drug reaction after multiple updose.
How are you feeling since the recent updose? what are your symptoms now?
My symptoms vary day to day. Not to the severity of a lot of those but I'm guessing it gets worse the lower I go. Idk. How do you know what is reaction vs withdrawal? Aren't they similar symptoms? Did you updose by a lot and did your symptoms start right away? I've gone up and down on doses thru the 8 years with no problems till now when I stopped and reinstated.
No I never updose much as you did, it is shown in my signature.
Yes, I know which is from what as I got the reactions immediately from taking a dose.
What problems are you getting now from reinstate?
Well for the past week or so weird head sensations. Sometimes cold, other times hot, or like something is moving "busy", a little pins/needles, now heart palp I think, or course insomnia. Do u think this will get worse if I decrease. Do you think you'd feel better stopping your dose? At times I think if I can get stable, I'm not tapering. How do you keep going. You really inspire a lot of people. You have to be close to the finish line.
I forgot to ask do you take supplements? I don't know how to look up signature. So when you reinstated at what dose?
Posted April 21
Sorry you got those weird symptoms. For me those are typical symptoms of updose reaction. I had the worst akathesia symptoms today as a matter of fact, bugs crawling allover my head, entire back of my body, needling pain etc. they have been with me ever since I updosed about 2.5 years ago and got lot worse after couple more times updosing. I usually feel better with these after dropping doses, but I don't have much luxury now since I'm also in severe WD.
My signature and med history is at the bottom of every post I made. I updosed many times, 2014, 2015 then just a month ago ( from 0.06 mg to 0.12 mg).
The only thing I'm taking is fish oil.
I saw you up and down with dose quite a few times too. That could be the reason you are getting this weird head symptoms.
May I ask you what happened to you between 2014 and 2017 when you were off the med? Were you doing fine then? Why did you reinstate in 2017?
From 2014-2017 I just stayed at 1.5 ish. I don't really know cause I just cut the pill. One day decided to stop cause I thought I was on "low dose". So only a week later started up at 2.5 then dr told me to go to 5 and then I went to 4 and now 3.75 something I've been at for three weeks. The moderators said I should try to go to 2.5 x 2 weeks and then 1.5. I'm so confused cause I thought everyone tapers slow but I guess in my case I reinstated too high and I should try to go lower but I'm also afraid of withdrawal. Which is why I ask so many questions. Worried if I stay too long at this dose it's bad and worried by going going I'll have WD. Sorry to burden you, but I'm going through this without telling my family or dr. I do appreciate any advice.
So you didn't stop in 2014 as your signature says, rather you stayed on 1.5 mg all those years only until 2017 you stopped from 1.5 mg for one week before you reinstated to 2.5 mg?
You are right about why others advise you to faster taper as your case is now complicated by the reaction to the higher dose reinstate. Once one is facing the two opposite evils, you don't have the luxury to slow taper. Basically you have to balance the two sides at a level you can bear both.
It took me years to understand this super complicated señorio even now I still got confused from time to time. If you can identify symptoms caused by WD from that by reaction ( the new ones you got from updose), and see which one is the more unbearable, then up you would have a better idea weather to drop dose, how much to drop and how long to hold etc.
Do you know what are the origin nail symptoms that made you reinstate, and what are the ones added on since reinstate, especially those after 5 mg?
Hi my friend! Are you still at 0.13 mg? I so much hope you will feel better soon. You are so worth it.
Sending love and hugs.
Hope you are doing a little better today. Thanks for your concerns. Yes different symptoms. I don't want to disrupt your thread. As there are a lot of people cheering for you. If you want to know more about my symptoms and possible suggestions feel free to join mine if you have time. Keep it up!
Hello, I know I said I would leave this but I tried to PM you with no luck and needed your advice. I got a scale and realized my dose for three weeks is 4mg when I thought it was 3.75. I don't know what to do. Cut or hold and what dose
Posted April 22
Dear Amy, Happy to hear you as always:)
I am at 0.125mg now, dropped a few times in the past month since updose to 0.13. The drops are so incredible small (0.0004mg) but I always got the typical WD symptoms the day immediately following the drop. I cant believe my system is that sensitized. You are doing amazingly great taking it so slow at the low dose. I feel you can still cut a few times before reaching to zero, it wont hurt, and just a few more times you will be landing like air.
I am in similar situation to those who CTed, and plus the most severe needling pain and akathesia from the drug reaction. I will stay strong though until any major improvement for a more comprehensive update.
Hugs to you for such an life time achievement and your kindest friendship!
I am sorry you made a mistake in measuring your dose.
Even its impossible for anyone to give sure advise for this very complicated process, I do want to try to provide some reasoning when appropriate.
I am still very confused about your med history and symptoms from each dose change so its is not possible to say anything.
Its best to try to ask such major advise in your thread so you will get more people to chime in. If you can explain the main timelines, dosage and symptoms others will be able to provide better suggestions.
Posted April 27
Hi my dear,
I'm stuck at 1,75mg and I'm not tapering for a few more weeks. I feel like I need to give my brain a break from this constant changes caused by tapering.
I ran the half marathon and it went great
I have another one in 5 week, I'll try to improve mt time.
Hugs and love !
Posted April 28
Hi FSL, thank you for stopping by!
I'm sorry you feel stuck! It's ok to take more time for your body to take a breath from the stress caused by taper. I'm glad you have the luxury to hold long! It will settle as you hold!
I am so happy that you can torun for half marathon during withdrawal! This is incredible really, it sounds you are doing really well considering how this process can disable many others.
Posted April 29
Thx for stopping by my thread, Lex! The way you support others even in such hard times is amazing!
How are you feeling yourself these days?
Love and hugs!
Posted May 9
Hi Lex, you are in my thoughts. How are you?
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