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LexAnger: tapering or no tapering, generic vs. name brand lexapro


LexAnger

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Yes, I have been on the increase dose (3.2mg) for 4 days. I started to have periods of ok energy since day 2 on the higher dose, and the heart rate changes also narrowed down quite a bit (60-120) and happened only a few times each day instead of constantly. My other symptoms (strange head twist, pain, numb etc.) were back though which is familiar. Overall I am glad about the heart issue being stablized gradually as I consider it much more serious even the other physical symptoms are more turturing.

 

I hope I can ride this out without further adjusting doses. I will be holding real long from there for my system to fully stalize. I also cant affort to lose my job. I can't keep my job if the condition I had in the past couple weeks continue.

 

 

I will keep everyone updated as day 4 is supposed to be the starting of the effect of dose change. Fingers crossed, no new surprises.

I am glad to hear that your conditions have eased slightly. Keep us up to date. Fingers crossed everything settles down. 

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Yes, I have been on the increase dose (3.2mg) for 4 days. I started to have periods of ok energy since day 2 on the higher dose, and the heart rate changes also narrowed down quite a bit (60-120) and happened only a few times each day instead of constantly. My other symptoms (strange head twist, pain, numb etc.) were back though which is familiar. Overall I am glad about the heart issue being stablized gradually as I consider it much more serious even the other physical symptoms are more turturing.

 

I hope I can ride this out without further adjusting doses. I will be holding real long from there for my system to fully stalize. I also cant affort to lose my job. I can't keep my job if the condition I had in the past couple weeks continue.

 

 

I will keep everyone updated as day 4 is supposed to be the starting of the effect of dose change. Fingers crossed, no new surprises.

 

I am glad to hear that your conditions have eased slightly. Keep us up to date. Fingers crossed everything settles down.

Definitely! I also made an appointment with a cardiologist specializing in electrophysiology on 11/5. I will share any findings from that too.

Looking forward to hearing good news from you when you are back here next time.

 

Take care and be kind to yourself,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Glad to hear your heart issue is stabilizing! All the best with your appointment with the cardiologist, I hope he has the answers that you want to hear.

October 2011 - Given sertraline 50mg for dizziness. 

Not informed that this was an antidepressant. Stopped after 2-3 weeks as it was not helping with dizzy spells.

 

March 2012 - Given escitalopram 10mg 

October 2012 - Became aware of what I had been prescribed. Started slow taper.

April 2015 - Last dose escitalopram 0.19ml liquid.

 

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Hello again Lex,

Just popping in to follow your progress in your own thread too.  I am so new at this, but I really believe there will be a time in the future when you are well and at 0 meds.  I only wish it could be sooner for you - you have been through so much already.  

 

Hugs and love,

KarenB 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Glad to hear your heart issue is stabilizing! All the best with your appointment with the cardiologist, I hope he has the answers that you want to hear.

Thank you ThoughtTree!

Yes, I hope nothing serious will be found about my heart as I can't take any treatment due to super sensitized system by the drug. One pill of vitamin D threw me into hell last time I tried.

 

I saw You were put on the ssir for off label use too. So heartbreaking and makes very angry whenever think of it, I started lex for headache using free samples that drug companies give away. Can you believe these most dangeripous poison are giving away as samples without any safety information! My perfect health detoriated in every way ever since the 1st sample pill of lex.

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hello again Lex,

Just popping in to follow your progress in your own thread too.  I am so new at this, but I really believe there will be a time in the future when you are well and at 0 meds.  I only wish it could be sooner for you - you have been through so much already.  

 

Hugs and love,

KarenB

 

hi Karen,

 

Your continuous support touches my heart especially during this very difficult time feeling discouraged and disappointed. I believe I will regain hope once my system is stabilized and feeling better.

 

You take good care

Hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hi Lex, dear friend.

 

I am not on here much of late, but follow your progress even when I do not post.

 

I have every faith in your ability to heal and thrive.

 

Be kind to yourself. You have enough love in your heart which you share with this entire community. Show the same love to yourself. You are so worthy of it.

 

You are a beautiful woman, capable of more than you ever believe yourself to be. I follow your progress closely and look forward to the day that we resume and share our world travels.

 

We have and will survive so much in these coming months and years. The best is yet to come. We are capable of so much. When we experience life post withdrawal, pain free, we will relish every second with a joy previously unknown to us.

 

Look forward, Lex. A lifetime of experiences await us. One foot in front of the other will get us there :)

 

Love and hugs, as always.

 

Tilly x

1999 - 2004 Paroxetine 20mg  -> 2004 - 2007 Citalopram 20mg -> 2007 -  short term Trazedone use (insomnia) -> 2007 - 2009 Fluoxetine 20mg  ->

2009 - Jan 2012 Citalopram 20mg  (Spring / Summer 2012 protracted withdrawal & related agoraphobia) -> 2012 - September Restarted Citalopram - unbearable start up effects. Discontinued in under 1 week -> Oct 12 -   October 2014 Escitalopram - 10mg prescribed. Started on 5mg and worked up to 10mg in 2.5mg increments  -> Oct 2014  - 5mg; 30/03/15 2.5mg; 15/04/15 3.5mg; 20/05/15 2.9mg;  19/09/15 2.8mg; 30/10/15 2.7mg; 13/11/15 2.6mg. Holding until March.

Diet:  mostly pescatarianl & lots of veg. Weekly offal for b vitamins.  Turmeric, nigella seeds, avocados, apple cider vinegar, coconut products daily. Lots of fluids: water, lemon juice, coconut water, herbal & green tea (decaffeinated).

Supplements: vitamin C 4000mg, Omega 3 fish oil - high DPA & EHA, vitamin E 400iu, vitamin D3 5000mg (Winter only - from sun in Spring / Summer), probiotics.

Current Symptoms: chronic fatigue, erratic sleep, extreme photophobia, eye floaters, noise sensitivity, tinnitus, cognitive & speech difficulties, dizziness, irregular gait, poor co ordination, severe facial and upper body muscle tension, head and neck pressure.

Coping Strategies: good nutrition, cooking, gardening & growing my own food, cycling, dancing, yoga, photography, sewing & creative pursuits, self massage, pampering, meditation, journalling, nature, cuddling cats & humans, laughter & humour, gratitude, self care, aromatherapy, audio books, word games & believing in myself, my potential and my future.

 

"Everything I need is within me" - Shakti Gawain

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Dear Tilly,

 

How dear to hear you! How are you doing, my friend?

 

I am very sorry I have been down in spirit and low in hope lately. I feel I have been holding all the pain and sickness to myself for too long and feeling exhausted allover.

 

Thank you for your kindest words and dear encouragement! Yes, I remember our promises to heal and travel the world together. I need to be stronger and I think I will be with all the supports I get from everyone here. I believe I will think differently when this wave passes and when I have a break during a window.

 

More understanding from the daily learning about the ssir and ssir WD, more I think what we deal with during WD is much more complex than just dose. I feel that the greatest danger is the damage made to our body during ssir treatment and WD. The body referred here can be anything that makes the whole of a healthy human being. Giving this understandin, and knowing most if not all my struggling in the past years were mainly caused by the body damage instead of dose change (giving the tiny change I have been making). SO I feel its critical for me to give my whole body a long break to heal first before further fighting. My body is way too fragile now to win any battle and most likely will get injured more on top of losing the war.

 

I hope in the future, I will be well enough to resume the taper, and I hope my stablized system will handle the taper easier without too much too severe symptoms.

 

I will be watching you and everyone continuing the journey and sending cheers and shed tears for each.      

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Hi Lex

How are you holding up? Have you noticed any improvement since reinstating and holding your dose? 

You are always so encouraging to everyone else, even when you are feeling bad. I appreciate your positivity here and know how hard it is to remain like that when you are feeling so awful. 

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Hi Starburst,

 

My heartfelt appreciation for your continuous and kind support and care!

I can say holding on the increase (by 0.025mg) dose has shown sign of stabilization since the hit about 6 weeks ago. I ams still experiencing the original typical set of symptoms numbness, pain, pressure, needling random time and place and severity to as bad . The severe weakness reduced over time in duration, severity and frequency as well. I can do light exercise most of days walking and swimming. The one thing still flares up is the heartrate which still jumps around high and low even the fatigue is not much and bad any more. I will find out more tomorrow at the cardiologist appointment. I'm not bed ridden anymore but pretty much house bound (I work from home except 3 afternoon going to office).

 

I do feel defeated overall with depressed thought of never being able to get out and will live like this not dare to taper in future.

 

How are you coping? Hope you are still having the window!

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Thank You for the update Lex. I look forward to hearing what the cardiologist has to say. You have had some nasty withdrawal symptoms with little relief, of course it is natural to feel depressed when you feel bad every day. I hope that by stabilising on this dose you will reach a window. You deserve it, you really do.  It is good that you can work from home, at least you don't have the added pressure of having to go in to work.

 

I have let exercise slip which is really not a good thing to do in these circumstances. I always feel so much better when I have spent time swimming. Still feeling quite good. Slight underlying anxiety but nothing like what it has been the past few weeks. 

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Hi lex. Just wanted to say hello. Thinking of you x

The only way out is through.

 

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia

Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn

Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg

End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg

End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg

End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn

April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014

29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever

29 June 2014 - med free

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Hi WinningThrough,

 

Thank you very much for stopping by and your kind greeting!

 

You have always been a great inspiration being so very strong! Its heartbreaking to read what you went through but the rewarding time should be coming very soon!

 

Best

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Thinking of you & sending you love, Lex.

 

I hope that your symptoms are abating. Baby steps. We will get there  :)

 

Tilly x

1999 - 2004 Paroxetine 20mg  -> 2004 - 2007 Citalopram 20mg -> 2007 -  short term Trazedone use (insomnia) -> 2007 - 2009 Fluoxetine 20mg  ->

2009 - Jan 2012 Citalopram 20mg  (Spring / Summer 2012 protracted withdrawal & related agoraphobia) -> 2012 - September Restarted Citalopram - unbearable start up effects. Discontinued in under 1 week -> Oct 12 -   October 2014 Escitalopram - 10mg prescribed. Started on 5mg and worked up to 10mg in 2.5mg increments  -> Oct 2014  - 5mg; 30/03/15 2.5mg; 15/04/15 3.5mg; 20/05/15 2.9mg;  19/09/15 2.8mg; 30/10/15 2.7mg; 13/11/15 2.6mg. Holding until March.

Diet:  mostly pescatarianl & lots of veg. Weekly offal for b vitamins.  Turmeric, nigella seeds, avocados, apple cider vinegar, coconut products daily. Lots of fluids: water, lemon juice, coconut water, herbal & green tea (decaffeinated).

Supplements: vitamin C 4000mg, Omega 3 fish oil - high DPA & EHA, vitamin E 400iu, vitamin D3 5000mg (Winter only - from sun in Spring / Summer), probiotics.

Current Symptoms: chronic fatigue, erratic sleep, extreme photophobia, eye floaters, noise sensitivity, tinnitus, cognitive & speech difficulties, dizziness, irregular gait, poor co ordination, severe facial and upper body muscle tension, head and neck pressure.

Coping Strategies: good nutrition, cooking, gardening & growing my own food, cycling, dancing, yoga, photography, sewing & creative pursuits, self massage, pampering, meditation, journalling, nature, cuddling cats & humans, laughter & humour, gratitude, self care, aromatherapy, audio books, word games & believing in myself, my potential and my future.

 

"Everything I need is within me" - Shakti Gawain

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Hi Sraeburst, so kind of you thinking of me and following up!

It turned out I missed the appointment :( this doctor has two address/phone # posted online and I contacted the one closer to me for the appointment. I went for it and just could not find the bldg until after 10 minutes past the appointment time then, guess what, the bldg is the one for hospital then I just realized it must be where he also works in the hospital for ER. It was too late then to run for the other location so I just went back home. This type of mistake/error is not something I normally make, but you know how much my brain function is detoriated.

 

Anyway, my irregular heartbeat seems got quite less lately along with improved fatigue/sick issue. I'm very slow still with entire morning typically trying to deal with symptoms and afternoon trying to catch up some work etc. so haven't got a chance to make another appointment yet. Also I feel not much can be done or found really even I go. I think I still need to make one soon just to understand.

 

Otherwise, it has been 2 months since the hit and 3 weeks since I up dosed by 0.025mg, I feel things are gradually in an up and down pattern improving somewhat, something like from acute to chronic manner, I still have all typical sx like needling, numbness, pain all over, brain nonfunctional daily and scattered fatigue, elevated heartbeat, light pshyc issue but are not as severe. I have been sleeping too much still like 9-10 hours straight every night still hart to wake up. In the past, I usually sleep this much after each cut but usually get back to normal (7.5-8) 1-2 weeks when I consider the cut effect disappears.

 

Somehow, i do feel the positive effect of long hold. I will be holding here at 3.2 for long time maybe couple years to catch up life and work etc. and hope it provides the expected results.

 

Hope to see your next positive update soon.

 

Hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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I

t turned out I missed the appointment  :( this doctor has two address/phone # posted online and I contacted the one closer to me for the appointment. I went for it and just could not find the bldg until after 10 minutes past the appointment time then, guess what, the bldg is the one for hospital then I just realized it must be where he also works in the hospital for ER. It was too late then to run for the other location so I just went back home. This type of mistake/error is not something I normally make, but you know how much my brain function is detoriated. 

Anyway, my irregular heartbeat seems got quite less lately along with improved fatigue/sick issue. I'm very slow still with entire morning typically trying to deal with symptoms and afternoon trying to catch up some work etc. so haven't got a chance to make another appointment yet. Also I feel not much can be done or found really even I go. I think I still need to make one soon just to understand.

Otherwise, it has been 2 months since the hit and 3 weeks since I up dosed by 0.025mg, I feel things are gradually in an up and down pattern improving somewhat, something like from acute to chronic manner, I still have all typical sx like needling, numbness, pain all over, brain nonfunctional daily and scattered fatigue, elevated heartbeat, light pshyc issue but are not as severe. I have been sleeping too much still like 9-10 hours straight every night still hart to wake up. In the past, I usually sleep this much after each cut but usually get back to normal (7.5-8) 1-2 weeks when I consider the cut effect disappears.

Somehow, i do feel the positive effect of long hold. I will be holding here at 3.2 for long time maybe couple years to catch up life and work etc. and hope it provides the expected results.

 

Oh Lex  :( I can totally relate to that experience. Unless I map out the journey a few days before I leave I am totally useless at finding new places. These days I seem to resort to using my GPS to get me anywhere new. But that is stressful as I find myself tuning in to hear the directions and getting quite muddled whilst driving. 

 

I hope you don't have a long wait before they can fit you in again. Here to see a specialist can take up to ten months. I can only imagine how hard it would be to miss that valuable appointment and have to wait another ten months. Hopefully it isn't that long for you.

 

I'm glad to hear that the irregular heartbeat seems better. Perhaps the reinstatement has helped after all. And also improvement in not feeling as nauseous is a good report. Hopefully there will be an improvement in the other areas once you are stabilised. I guess it is like running your own experiment really. Nobody can tell you what to expect, whether there will be improvement in what you are doing. But at least by documenting your own story it can be of help to others in the future who may experience the same symptoms. Do you journal? I find that by reading my own journal it can be very helpful in determining how far I have come (or not come) in this journey. 

 

I also sleep a lot. It is hard for me to say whether or not it is 'normal' because for such a long time I was sleep deprived with young children, toddlers and babies. I also mucked my sleep pattern up with alcohol. I would fall asleep easily but then wake each morning around 2.00a.m and not be able to get back to sleep. Since quitting alcohol I am sleeping so well. I tell myself that my body is catching up for lost time. But the other night I went to bed at 8.00p.m and woke the next morning at 7.oo a.m so that was 11 hours of sleep. I really don't think that is 'normal'. But I would rather have that problem than sleep deprivation. 

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Thank you again Starburst!

I just made another appointment on 11/20. It's ridiculous that it takes that long for an appointment in your area. Guess they intend for ppl to use ER for any illness.

 

While my energy and heart issue Improved, I'm getting more frequent and severe brain nonfunctional problems lately which is very scary. When it is bad I can not get any work done even my work is mainly email and meeting related. Speaking, typing has been very difficult not only the intellectual work. I really hope this is short lived otherwise my life will be completely different quitting the job and whole situation will be on a much worse level.

 

Yes, I have been keeping a daily journal for years from the very beginning of the taper. As a matter of fact, I have been doing it every hour as the sxs changes in minutes.

 

I understand and agree that sleeping too much is still better than insomnia, I had insomnia most my adult life until I started lex. Now I enifeel I am knocked off every night like in a Second.

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Yes, when my son was waiting to be assessed for Autism it was a twelve month wait to see a specialist paediatrician who dealt with those cases. I'm not sure if it is due to the enormously high amount of children being diagnosed with Autism these days or a lack of specialist. I guess if it was a life or death situation it would be quicker. 

 

Take care Lex. Even if I am not around much or 'disappear' from here please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. 

 

Much love x

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Lex.

 

Now I realise that you haven't updated your thread in a while but your wrote in my thread things were rough so I wanted to hear more about it. 

 

I totally understand the fear of worsening cognitive problems. A whole new level of horror. The same as you, after many years of working through multiple withdrawals I started thinking whether I will be able to continue working. 

 

I hope things improve for both of us and look forward to hearing from you.

 

xo, Bubble

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Dear Bubble,

 

Thank you very much for stopping by and your kindest care!

 

I have been too sick to update and also lost mind for what to conclude.

 

Things are getting worse and I am in deeper water since the last update. I haven't been able to do any work in the past few weeks and today I'm bedridden again with brain and body non functional plus DR/DP. Yesterday I pushed myself out for a lunch and almost fainted fora few minutes. I also got another scary symptoms with severe cold/ numb/weakness left side head to toe feeling paralyzed not able to use the left hand, arm, leg to type, walk, do light house work. I thought many times before that I was not able to keep the job now this time is for real as I can do zero things or catch up with flexible hours. for a few days last week, A severe pain around my right breast also brought lots worry up even it subsided now. I am guessing the important hormone in my system has been shifted by the ssir. It has been 3 months since the last tiny cut to 3.2. Without sign of improvement actually getting worse with new serious symptoms flaring up one after another made me wondering if the long hold is causing all these. I read ladybug's thread today about her pooping out and getting worse from long hold, and struggling whether I should decrease dose. Another big time losing direction.

 

I'm wearing the heart monitor the cardiologist gave to me and will see him next year, I also will see my OB doctor tomorrow to check the breast.

 

I never had this level of disability before and for this long. It's so hard to still think any possibilities of getting better by any way considering I'm still at 3.2 mg and been micro tapering.

 

A serious time needing help from everyone who can share thoughts about an explanation (WD or pooping out?) of the phenomena and what I should do with the dose, up or down?

 

Thanks so very much and hope everyone is doing better for the holiday!

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Och! Lex so sorry it just doesn't give you a break does iit? Hugs xxx

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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  • Administrator

Lex, so sorry you're feeling so poorly. Acupuncture might help many of your symptoms, including heart rate. Have you tried it?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Dear Lex,

 

It's rather late here but I wanted to drop you at least a short line or two. I started reading through your thread to look for more clues although I am familiar with your overall situation. I made it till April from today...

 

At this point I's just like to say that I hope for both of us that this is just a setback and not how things will be from now on. I find it helpful to try to think about this as something that will pass although it totally doesn't feel like this at the moment. I took a week off in the wat of a sick leave to get some breathing space.

 

Giving any opinion on what to do with the dose in your case is what Alto says your guess is as good as mine. I'm always startled at how untypical your reactions have been. I personally feel like I can only believe in holds to save me. But I remember a few people where that didn't work (we were both following ssriwarrior and goldielocks).

 

I will continue reading through your thread tomorrow. I just came across your post from 8 April where you also express faith in holding but I totally understand how the latest developments make you question everything...

 

I know you are super careful about everything but is there anything your gut feeling is pointing to as a trigger? For me it's definitely too much too intense work and trying to live like a normal person forgetting how my cns is compromised. You did mention something about feeling worse after the Thanksgiving...

 

This is just me, feeling better when a potential culprit gives me an illusion of being in control...

 

I will be stronger seeing how bravely you are fighting. Hang in there.

 

B.

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Och! Lex so sorry it just doesn't give you a break does iit? Hugs xxx

Thanks loveandlight! Feeling losing all on a new level. Hope you are hanging on well.

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Lex, so sorry you're feeling so poorly. Acupuncture might help many of your symptoms, including heart rate. Have you tried it?

hi Alto,

 

Thanks for stopping by!

I used to do regular acupuncture but not anymore as I didn't feel too much difference.

 

I know it's the hardest question to anyone in the whole universe, but I'd really love to hear your thoughts ( not direction, just thoughts) as how you think about my situation! I most probably won't make any changes only love some help and assurance to understand.

 

Compared to my constant pain symptoms ( lessened somehow sometime lately), these new symptoms are not as tourture as the Killing pains although their diapsabling power is much greater.

 

Thank you so much in advance!

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Oh Lex, I feel so for you and all the horror that taking this damned drug for headaches has done to you.  It is truly criminal.

 

I hope that each day improves upon the last.

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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Dear Bubble,

 

How kind of you spending time reading through my threads and reaching out with your supporting hands! It touches me deep down in my heart!

 

Yeah, it's a constant adjusting our minds, belief, analyses, and strategy as no plan is guaranteed before we test it. I feel I tried all the possible little hope left until I hit each wall hard and back to a shrunk square one. I tried. Micro taper after I was excitedly found the slow taper thread thinking that is the way out, got hit at this level with serious heart issues, then thought the lack of long hold might be the problem, then started experiencing episodes of many new disabling symptoms. My stress level from external world is minimal if any all these years. I'm managing a great team at work which has been with me many years and each functioning almost independently with minimal supervision, I have been working from home most time in the past year. I also live alone at home with nothing worries me really and nobody upsets me. My daily routine before this hit was like programmed, long sleep, natural waking, morning walk, light work, gym in evening for sauna and swim. Even my diet is ridiculously boring with egg and oatmeal breakfast, chicken salad lunch, fish and veg dinner.

 

I don't feel anxious or depressed or stressed either even with all the physical and mental symptoms. Even the struggle I had for years over the fact that I started the meds myself for headache based on recommendations of my friends was over for a while as I managed to fully accept.

 

It is very possible I am missing something big as I am so focused on the things I remember and think.

 

Also, my most severe brain nonfunctional and weakness started on the thanksgiving day not after. I have been making so many mistakes when typing and talking.

 

How are you doing lately? I hope the work stress gets less for you with holiday gets closer!

 

Love and hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Oh Lex, I feel so for you and all the horror that taking this damned drug for headaches has done to you.  It is truly criminal.

 

I hope that each day improves upon the last.

 

SG

Hi SG,

 

Thanks much for stopping by and your support!

Lovely seeing you here!

I read lots of your post but not your main thread yet. I'm glad we are now connected and will read your thread tonight.

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • Administrator

I don't know, Lex. The cardiac symptoms have decreased, is that correct? Why are you still wearing the monitor?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Alto,

 

I decided to see the cardiologist even the heart issue lessened to just check to be sue no damage was made there so in future tapering if this happens again I will know how much I can/can't push. He ordered the monitor and the stress ecg which is scheduled late December so I can only see him again next year.

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Dearest Lex,

 

You are in my heart today.

 

Wishing you peace and windows,

Hugs,

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

2023 Now on 7 micro-beads of Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops.

 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Dear Karen,

 

You warms my heart!

I'm holding strong for myself, my family and for everyone here as we need each other. Whenever I'm in deep desperate, this community is the very source of strength and comfort to continue.

 

Love and hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Another update with more improvement. Still on the slow taper with 1%1 cut every 10 days or so. Getting more ok days and the bad days are not as bad as before. Overall feeling better both physically and mentally with hopeful thinking for future and life. Now get a sense of the so called stablizing.

 

Lessons learned #1, no big changes of anything, dose up or down, supplement, food, exercise,

Lessons learned #2, when being hit with severe symptoms, don't panic trying different things, just hang on, endurance and careful management is a must to get through the bad waves

 

Hope things move well from here without hiccups for the next few years till the end of tunnel.

 

How are you doing Lex?

 

I've been reading through your thread and as the first time what I highlighted above seems very important for me. 

 

When we hit bad times we all panic and want to do something. That's what makes bad times bad times. I also noticed that I revert to my long term behaviour and thinking to try and make sense of things in desperation. When I read about the way you were using Lexapro initially (for quite a few years) it struck me that you were taking it as a painkiller (to stop the headache). There were times when you felt almost symptoms free but it seems you connected it with a particular dose and not stabilisation. That's why you maybe feel tempted to change the dose when things get rough believing it will help. 

 

You also had similar symptoms with numbness of one side of your body when you went to hospital some time last year. And it went away. It's so hard to believe things will get better this time round again. Every time it feels final. Like nothing can put Humpty Dumpty together again. That's why bad times are bad times. 

 

I would listen to my (your) own voice and message to yourself from good times. 

 

One of the most awful things about waves is that I lose the sense of perspective, even hope. So I would like to remind both of us: this passes.

 

(I feel a bit better...) And I'm hoping for some good news from you too.

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Oh Bubble, my dear friend, you overwhelm me with your love, care and kindest help by reading through my thread in depth with great insight! I'm so grateful to have your company and friendship!

 

You are so wise about us losing perspective when in waves! I found myself in that manner often when I feel so hard to get through each minute with intense pain.

 

You are so right about how I used the meds in the first couple years! I probably CTed hundred times without knowing it. Even worse, I have been biting off the tablet randomly from 2009 through 2013 until I started the liquid, so my dose has been changing literally everyday!!! To be honest, I never thought about those much in understanding my situation. I remember I used to think my case was a less severe one as my Days on the meds is less than what I reported.

 

Another thing I have been doing oddly, and may never mentioned in my posts is, I have been taking the liquid in 2 hours everyday to help with the needling pain I usually get quickly during dosing. I now wonder how that might have been making things differently.

 

God, I think you found the biggest issue I missed seeing for all these years! It's scary to imagine how much my system endured and amazing it's not completely destroupyed! Wow, it makes me hopeful actually thinking about the incredible surviving ability our brains possesses.

 

I'm so thankful to you and everyone stopped by and helped! I always tell myself I won't make it to today without this site and everyone on the road as a company!

 

I'm glad to report that the left side paralizing is only showing weak heads the past couple days. The brain along with energy also picks up some times yesterday and today, although the needling pain rushes back again. Thanks so much for reminding me of my own lessons (I lose them when in Greta pain and disparate)! I am more convinced now that my brain needs a long break to heal from the past truma before taking further challenges.

 

As for the OB visit, I am waiting for some lab results and an MRI on December 28th. I will update with any findings.

I'm very happy you are feeling a bit better!! I hope you continue feeling even better for the holiday!

 

Lots love and hugs!

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Lex!

 

I just read that post you wrote above to Bubble, and it gave me joy!  I feel so excited for you, in that you have understanding, awareness, and that is so empowering!  I am also inspired by the positivity in your post. You put it perfectly, that we lose perspective in waves and our thoughts run away with us, and that is why it is so important to check back here, so that kind folks like Bubble can remind us!  

 

When it gets bad it does wear us down, and it becomes hard to remain positive, but really, it is a mindset that we have to struggle to maintain.  Baylissa Fredericks' is another glowing example and inspiration for having the right attitude in WD, no matter how bad it seems to be.  She always phrases perceives WD symptoms as signs of HEALING!  And that is something to be happy about :-)

 

So glad you are here!

 

SG

Started ADs back around 1995 after bad break-up, starting with Prozac.  Switched to Wellbutrin, and then to Effexor in 2002
Effexor XR 2002-2014 up to 225 mg at one point, down to 37.5 mg towards end but back up to 75 mg in 2014; now realize I had W/D as I dropped down, memory very poor about history.  Extreme emotions, poor concentration as I stepped back down, didn't connect the dots!
Summer 2014 reduced to 0 very quickly, was sick of anhedonia/sexual dysfunction due to meds, depression never controlled if not worse. Didn't recognize WD since symptoms built slowly (thought I had ADD! and menopausal on top of it), starting with severe sweats, very bad cog-fog and memory issues, culminating in weight loss, severe anxiety and depression, panic, severe apathy and insomnia by eight months off.  Saw p-doc who put me on Remeron, increased from 7.5 mg/day to 37.5 mg by May 22, 2015; still doing very badly though able to sleep.

June 1. 2015 Reinstated Effexor XR 37.5 mg, Remeron dropped to 30 mg PM. Immediate relief of symptoms, like nothing had ever happened!  Joined SA and began on advice of friend who recognized it was WD all along! Began tapering in July 2015.

Been tapering both meds ever since, focusing on one more than the other or doing no more than 5% of each per month.

12 mg Effexor and 5.8 mg Remeron (mirtazapine SolTabs to make a solution with OraPlus) as of 5/4/2017 

Update 3/14/18: 2.9 mg Remeron and 6 mg Effexor; 6/10/18:  2.6 mg Remeron and 4.9 mg Effexor

 

My intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9313-squirrellygirl-effexor-withdrawal-etc/page-2#entry196679

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

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