I've initiated just about everything, Dalsaan. The card games, Mahjongg, Writers' Group, board games, volunteer work on the community newsletter, and the finance committee are all activities that were started by other people, mostly in my over-55 housing development, that I had to join on my own, and there is one once-a-month dinner that I started. The only things I can think of to which I was invited are the sewing group, another monthly dinner, and the Christian book club. I'd say that over half of what I do calls for some initiative on my part. However, the groups with which I've gotten involved now expect me to be there, which can feel burdensome, especially because I think I've gotten involved in too much. Some nights I need that escape from boredom and loneliness, but I'm hoping that my life begins to change into something that feels more purposeful. Maybe I'm just being impatient again. Like I said above, it's only been since mid-January that I've felt at all like my old self, and even then I was still dragged down by my problem with magnesium.
I have to remember too that I'm 68 and I just don't bounce back from things like I used to. This has been an aggravating week between waking up sick at 3:00 AM Wednesday, not being able to get back to sleep, having the roofers here at 7:00 AM Wednesday and Thursday, and again this morning from about nine until ten-thirty to finish painting my shed, of which one side had rotted away from being too close to the house. It's been an expensive ordeal too, and that's always stressful.
In reading over my first paragraph, I realized that I didn't realize how much I'd taken on. I've been wanting to find a church too, but I never seem to have the energy to go to Sunday morning services, which makes me think I've got my priorities screwed up and it's time for a review and weeding out.
I've still got some "must" stuff to take care of this afternoon--picking up my veggies at the CSA and another errand plus packages arriving late in the afternoon that will have to be put away--but I'm going to rest and relax with a book as much as I can and let the blankety-blank AARP course go until tomorrow or even next week. The heck with cards, too. One of the less likable women I've met here started women's poker on some Friday nights instead of the usual Phase 10 game, and I don't enjoy gambling at all, so maybe I'll start my weed-pulling by dropping out on poker nights.
Damn, I'm tired. I can hardly wait for 1:30 to roll around so I can go get these errands done (CSA hours are 2:00-7:30).