gemini Withdrawal or underlying condition?

[gemini]

Hi all. This is Gemini. I about seven months into Zoloft withdrawal, currently taking a teeny tiny amount of latuda for withdrawal symptoms. I am majorly depressed and confused and would like to know the difference between withdraw al symptoms as opposed to uh underlying condition symptoms. Currently my almost psychotic depression has alleviated but don't know if that's from latuda intervention or a window in recovery. I can no longer work so moving in with family. I've lost everything but getting off Zoloft is worth it!

Edited August 5, 2016 by scallywag
tags added

[gemini]

Hi, although I'm seven months into withdrawal from Zoloft trileptal and strattera I am seeing some of my odd symptoms abating, namely the obsessive ruminating and anger (rage really) but I have fear over everything, almost to the point of paralysis. Paranoid ideations as well. May I hear some experiences concerning these lovely psychological torture devices?

[gemini]

I'm experiencing an almost fear of movement (possibly induced by fear of physical pain) to do the simplest things, like showering grooming cleaning. I'm less depressed seven months into my Zoloft wd but is this a common wd symptom, an almost catatonic state? I also had this symptom somewhat while on ssri cocktail.

[gemini]

Just want to say how grateful I am for this site!! Although I will have to go on disability (for the first time in my life) lost my career, lost home (moving in with family) from ssri wd I recognize now I do not have an underlying condition, just episodic depression from a traumatic childhood, and one day I will be healed from wd. I hope to become a naturopath and help others recognize the evils of psychiatry. Yes I have major resentment towards the psychiatric community at large.

[nz11]

gemini just thought i would point out

There is only one topic to a member in the Introductions forum. Moderators will merge multiple topics started by one member in the Intro forum.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/80-new-to-the-site-please-start-a-topic-in-the-introductions-forum/?p=167542

[Altostrata]

Welcome, gemini.
 
As nz pointed out, there is only one Introductions topic per member. I've merged your posts into this topic. Please add posts to this topic to track your progress and your questions.
 
Please read

Intro to antidepressant withdrawal syndrome (applies to all psychiatric drugs)
 
Is it withdrawal or relapse? Or something else?
 
The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery

"Is it always going to be like this?"
 

 

You may find that many people here have suffered an intense "depression" like yours as a withdrawal symptom.

Most likely, your symptoms are decreasing because the nervous system tends to heal over time. If you feel Latuda helps, if I were you, I'd stay on it for some months before tapering off it. Let your nervous system settle down.
 
See The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

Please put ALL the drugs you take in the Drug Interactions Checker http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html and copy and paste the results in this topic.
 

[gemini]

Okay will do. Thank you!!!

I'll be moving to Georgia soon and gettong on disability. Can no longer work, barely functioning.

[gemini]

Alto, thank you.

[gemini]

I saw my pdoc today and blood work came back all excellent after 7 months off Zoloft, whereas i had high glucose and suspected hypothyroidism while zoloft. Im still suffering from wd from the Zoloft but getting incrementally better. She said it's not wd but my underlying condition. Bull. I take 10 mgs of latuda at night, barely negligible, just to stabilize some horrific symptoms. Then why am I getting better off Zoloft? No more ocd, no more blurry vision, rage gone. Psychotic depression gone.

[Altostrata]

That's good to hear, gemini.

 

You may wish to find another doctor. Or, at least, stop trying to get this one to agree you have withdrawal syndrome.

 

Please add your updates to this topic, your Introductions topic. That keeps your history all in one place. Bookmark or follow this topic so you can find it again.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[gemini]

Okay will do!! I'm taking 10/mgs of latuda negligible amount to reduce symptoms. It's helping:)

[gemini]

Why am I still depressed, almost catatonic ally so, at 7 months off Zoloft? I'm also suffering intense waves of fear. The only thing that makes me feel safe is being in bed.

[Altostrata]

That is not catatonic depression. If you were catatonic, you would not be able to post here.

 

Please stop starting new topics about your own personal situation. Post in your Intro topic until you understand how this site is organized.

[LucaDiProspero]

You know gemini? I also surfed the web searching for catatonic depression, but as altostrata said none of us posting here has it.

Like you I have bad waves of fear and many times I find myself stuck in my bed or in my couch incapable of doing anything.

Luckily it's not catatonia, but drugs wd.

[gemini]

Alto I'm confused. I did post in my intro. Why can I not start topics?

[gemini]

Thank you Luca.

[gemini]

And alto this site I thought is for personal situations, to glean info?

[gemini]

Okay I went back and looked at forums. I understand alto:) also, Luca, do you still suffer from the crippling fear and depression?

[Altostrata]

Good, gemini.

 

Discussion of your own personal symptoms belongs in your Intro topic. You're welcome to start topics elsewhere that are of general interest -- but you've been starting so many topics, perhaps you should just post here for a while.

 

Too many topics make finding information difficult.

 

I'm now going to attach these posts to your Intro topic, where they belong.

[gemini]

Thank you alto:)

[gemini]

Aw, I became debilitated from Zoloft wd. I am in my 8th month of cessation from this drug and I am having to move in with my sister, leave everything behind and move cross country. Yes, the drugs left my body in a few weeks, but no, my nervous system, brain are in the stages of a slow healing. I'm seeing a breaking up of my symptoms, ocd mostly gone and rage mostly gone as well as loopy thinking slowly abating (thoughts stuck on a repeat/circular motion).

 

I am grateful to have lost everything to gain med-freedom!!!! I get my life back!

[gemini]

Aw, also physical symptoms are incrementally at a snail's pace getting better, I.e, blurry vision, certain body aches, global/systemic pain. These psych meds are designed to kill humans, not aid us.

[gemini]

Doing better. Most of my symptoms are abating. Either that or I'm in a window. Past symptoms:

 

Extreme depression

Extreme agitation

Incapacitating body aches

Debilitating fatigue

Fogginess

Malaise

Extreme fear/paranoia

Sensitivity to light, sound

Gait imbalance

Body tics

Akathasia

Tardive dyskinesia

Ruminations

Ocd

 

 

Current symptoms:

 

Fear/paranoia

Mild burning sensations in legs and arms sans global pain

Mild depression

Currently off Zoloft trileptal and strattera 8 months.

Taking 10 mgs latuda to stabilize nervous system.

 

I am in a bad living situation, currently staying with older sister and her daughter in another state ( geoegia) from my home (CA). I am in nterroggated, harassed,by the duo. I believe the sister is mentally unstable. Prior to coming here out of desperation I had not seen nor spoken to her in ten years. She has a Jekyll/Hyde personality which leads me to believe I cannot stay here more than a few months, at most. I've been in her home for less than a week and already she has asked for power of attorney to oversee my medical condition. She has no medical background and is on effexor, she said, for a "rage" problem due to issues arising at work. She is on a high dosage 150 effexor xr and seems volatile but nonphysically violent. I'm scared for me. Her daughter, who is also a terror, seems to have adopted the odd angry/aggressive personality traits of the mother and also harasses me. It's difficult for me to be free here, get rest, and deal with the onslaught of daily harassment. I have lost everything, my home, and was initially given greenlight and welcoming arms to stay with insane sister and niece. Now that i am here i feel stuck and powerless. A friend in san diego has offered me a place to stay for a few weeks if conditions become intolerable. I have also applied to soteria house in-residency in burlington vt. I believe I can go back to work (which work I can do remotely for a company in CA) fairly soon. Wondering, since I'm not under physical, but verbal attack, and my housing and food are being provided for, at least, and the fact that she will not ask me to leave, whether I should just deal with the harassment as long as I can, not work, and try to heal at least to 75% capacity. I have currently isolated myself to my bedroom and trying to have minimal contact with the schizoid sister and niece. I realize why I took such a potent ssri now - to deal with the trauma caused by a dysfunctional family. When i leave this place i will cut off all contact and wholly disengage myself from my family of origin. At times the sister is supportive, and then turns on a dime. I cannot predict the odd behavior and there is no consistency so I feel I am in a nightmarish situation. If she left me alone that would be a huge help and aid in healing but it's not happening.

 

Feedback much appreciate d.

[LoveandLight]

Sounds like your recovering very well

 

Soteria sounds really great . How long is the waiting list to get in there? Your healing whatever you do. Good job!

[Skyler]

Soteria sounds really great . How long is the waiting list to get in there? Your healing whatever you do. Good job!

 

Burlington, VT is great, and truly beautiful.  A wonderful place to recover, and a place that, far as I've heard so far, is pretty much in the know about withdrawal.  You might even want to stay!  This is the view from where I sit and have my AM coffee (in the summer at any rate). https://www.google.com/search?q=burlington+vt%5C&espv=2&biw=1536&bih=758&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAgQ_AUoA2oVChMI_YyE5NOZxwIVhdceCh1MSAbe#tbm=isch&q=battery+park+burlington+vt&imgrc=P5aSCOFZ45GuVM%3A  and https://www.google.com/search?q=burlington+vt%5C&espv=2&biw=1536&bih=758&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAgQ_AUoA2oVChMI_YyE5NOZxwIVhdceCh1MSAbe#tbm=isch&q=waterfront+burlington+vt&imgdii=-Zh7asj-Iupp5M%3A%3B-Zh7asj-Iupp5M%3A%3BFNZG-j90RYEp2M%3A&imgrc=-Zh7asj-Iupp5M%3A  Lots of good peeps here.  

[gemini]

I would be so grateful if I got in. The harassment is awful where I am and some of my symptoms are returning I cannot sleep nor rest for very long because of the bizarre psychotic behavior that the sister and her daughter exhibit and with which they constantly harass me with. I called a crisis hotline and I explained what's going on. They suggeste d I leave immediately. I have a doctor's appointmentbsoon but don't know if I'm going to make it. I know I need to get out of this psychotic home.

[gemini]

Once I leave the sisters home I can never go back and I get to cut all ties with family of origin, for which I'm grateful. I don't care if I have to go live in an sro or temporary y housing for a while. I am currently living with someone who I believe has some sort of dementia/psychosis for which she is getting no help. At least, finally, now I know why I was depressed and I do not have an underlying condition. I have got to help myself right now, even though I'm still sick. I hope to god God will help me.

[gemini]

http://beyondmeds.com/2013/09/12/the-quick-fix/

[gemini]

I want to give an update on what  has/is happening during my time off these meds:    Zoloft, Trileptal, and Strattera.

 

I was polydrugged on these for over a decade by well-meaning and not so well-meaning physicians/psychs.

 

I am almost 9 months off the above highly offensive meds and  taking Latuda as a "maintenance" drug (having started at 20 milligrams nightly 5 months ago) weaned down  to .05 milligram of which I will further lower in dose over the next several weeks ineluctably down to ZERO milligrams!  Yay!

 

My central nervous system is adjusting nicely and I am able to sleep and function at about 80% for which i am eminently grateful.  

 

I cold turkey'd off the diabolical drug trio which i regret in retrospect.  i should have weaned off in percentage doses.  

 

During my acute withdrawal (which first  hit me with  flu-like symptoms, electrical brain zaps a couple of weeks after stopping the meds, and then about a month afterwards painful, debilitating, neuralgic depression to the point where i had to crawl from my couch to my bathroom in my teeny tiny studio apartment) i wasn't sure whether my condition was an "underlying" one, the return of my  original condition of which i can't even remember what my original condition having been polydrugged since i was basically a teen!

 

I now feel secure in saying that i don't have an "underlying" condition but i have human problems, human ailments, human emotional/biological processes and conditions that led my mother to take pause all those years ago and sought psychiatric help for me and an inevitable scrip for a psych med to "fix" me, as it were, although i was never broken.  I don't believe any of us are broken, but human, and i believe in letting emotional illnesses (and yes i believe my situation was a temporary emotional illness with a timeline) run its course with a helping of psychological support,  maybe. 

 

At almost 9 months off the offending meds, i find myself homeless, having lost the ability to work in my professional field temporarily, unable to keep up with bills, drained all of my savings (who knew protracted ssri wd would last months and months. really?  yes, really!  sometimes even years!)  and life spiraled out  to the point where my home and lifestyle in southern California had to be exchanged for a small room in a very toxic family member's home in Georgia!  But do I regret what I did for myself, taking myself off the cocktail of meds I was on for over a decade?  No.  I'd do it again!  If i had stayed on them they would have ended my life. never mind being given a choice of homelessness or being six feet under, the choice would become moot!

 

I can't tell you the undeniable, provable inner strengths I've discovered and discovering about myself to endure what so many of us find unimaginable and to live with pain to its finite end, to endure it.  

 

Right now I am at 80% of how I would like to be neurologically, synaptically, physically.  I am at 10% of where i would like to be with  living situation and work situation (i need to work anywhere right now, even Wendy's ).  i don't regret having traveled through Dante's Circle of Hell and traversed it to a clearing!  

[LoveandLight]

Amazing, Gemini..!

 

Whats Wendy's?

[gemini]

Wendy's is a fast-food burger chain:(

[gemini]

We should know there is always a clearing in our hell is path!

[oskcajga]

I want to give an update on what  has/is happening during my time off these meds:    Zoloft, Trileptal, and Strattera.

 

I was polydrugged on these for over a decade by well-meaning and not so well-meaning physicians/psychs.

 

I am almost 9 months off the above highly offensive meds and  taking Latuda as a "maintenance" drug (having started at 20 milligrams nightly 5 months ago) weaned down  to .05 milligram of which I will further lower in dose over the next several weeks ineluctably down to ZERO milligrams!  Yay!

 

My central nervous system is adjusting nicely and I am able to sleep and function at about 80% for which i am eminently grateful.  

 

I cold turkey'd off the diabolical drug trio which i regret in retrospect.  i should have weaned off in percentage doses.  

 

During my acute withdrawal (which first  hit me with  flu-like symptoms, electrical brain zaps a couple of weeks after stopping the meds, and then about a month afterwards painful, debilitating, neuralgic depression to the point where i had to crawl from my couch to my bathroom in my teeny tiny studio apartment) i wasn't sure whether my condition was an "underlying" one, the return of my  original condition of which i can't even remember what my original condition having been polydrugged since i was basically a teen!

 

I now feel secure in saying that i don't have an "underlying" condition but i have human problems, human ailments, human emotional/biological processes and conditions that led my mother to take pause all those years ago and sought psychiatric help for me and an inevitable scrip for a psych med to "fix" me, as it were, although i was never broken.  I don't believe any of us are broken, but human, and i believe in letting emotional illnesses (and yes i believe my situation was a temporary emotional illness with a timeline) run its course with a helping of psychological support,  maybe. 

 

At almost 9 months off the offending meds, i find myself homeless, having lost the ability to work in my professional field temporarily, unable to keep up with bills, drained all of my savings (who knew protracted ssri wd would last months and months. really?  yes, really!  sometimes even years!)  and life spiraled out  to the point where my home and lifestyle in southern California had to be exchanged for a small room in a very toxic family member's home in Georgia!  But do I regret what I did for myself, taking myself off the cocktail of meds I was on for over a decade?  No.  I'd do it again!  If i had stayed on them they would have ended my life. never mind being given a choice of homelessness or being six feet under, the choice would become moot!

 

I can't tell you the undeniable, provable inner strengths I've discovered and discovering about myself to endure what so many of us find unimaginable and to live with pain to its finite end, to endure it.  

 

Right now I am at 80% of how I would like to be neurologically, synaptically, physically.  I am at 10% of where i would like to be with  living situation and work situation (i need to work anywhere right now, even Wendy's ).  i don't regret having traveled through Dante's Circle of Hell and traversed it to a clearing!  

 

That sounds amazing - 80% recovery is absolutely phenomenal.  I'm sorry about the family situation, but I look forward to hearing about your continued success.

 

I agree that there is no such thing as an underlying condition - just human behavior.  There's nothing wrong with any of us - just the changes the psychiatric drugs made. 

 

I think you're going to live an amazing life and things are going to work out. 

 

Love and hugs,

Osk

[gemini]

 

I want to give an update on what has/is happening during my time off these meds: Zoloft, Trileptal, and Strattera.

 

I was polydrugged on these for over a decade by well-meaning and not so well-meaning physicians/psychs.

 

I am almost 9 months off the above highly offensive meds and taking Latuda as a "maintenance" drug (having started at 20 milligrams nightly 5 months ago) weaned down to .05 milligram of which I will further lower in dose over the next several weeks ineluctably down to ZERO milligrams! Yay!

 

My central nervous system is adjusting nicely and I am able to sleep and function at about 80% for which i am eminently grateful.

 

I cold turkey'd off the diabolical drug trio which i regret in retrospect. i should have weaned off in percentage doses.

 

During my acute withdrawal (which first hit me with flu-like symptoms, electrical brain zaps a couple of weeks after stopping the meds, and then about a month afterwards painful, debilitating, neuralgic depression to the point where i had to crawl from my couch to my bathroom in my teeny tiny studio apartment) i wasn't sure whether my condition was an "underlying" one, the return of my original condition of which i can't even remember what my original condition having been polydrugged since i was basically a teen!

 

I now feel secure in saying that i don't have an "underlying" condition but i have human problems, human ailments, human emotional/biological processes and conditions that led my mother to take pause all those years ago and sought psychiatric help for me and an inevitable scrip for a psych med to "fix" me, as it were, although i was never broken. I don't believe any of us are broken, but human, and i believe in letting emotional illnesses (and yes i believe my situation was a temporary emotional illness with a timeline) run its course with a helping of psychological support, maybe.

 

At almost 9 months off the offending meds, i find myself homeless, having lost the ability to work in my professional field temporarily, unable to keep up with bills, drained all of my savings (who knew protracted ssri wd would last months and months. really? yes, really! sometimes even years!) and life spiraled out to the point where my home and lifestyle in southern California had to be exchanged for a small room in a very toxic family member's home in Georgia! But do I regret what I did for myself, taking myself off the cocktail of meds I was on for over a decade? No. I'd do it again! If i had stayed on them they would have ended my life. never mind being given a choice of homelessness or being six feet under, the choice would become moot!

 

I can't tell you the undeniable, provable inner strengths I've discovered and discovering about myself to endure what so many of us find unimaginable and to live with pain to its finite end, to endure it.

 

Right now I am at 80% of how I would like to be neurologically, synaptically, physically. I am at 10% of where i would like to be with living situation and work situation (i need to work anywhere right now, even Wendy's ). i don't regret having traveled through Dante's Circle of Hell and traversed it to a clearing!

That sounds amazing - 80% recovery is absolutely phenomenal. I'm sorry about the family situation, but I look forward to hearing about your continued success.

 

I agree that there is no such thing as an underlying condition - just human behavior. There's nothing wrong with any of us - just the changes the psychiatric drugs made.

 

I think you're going to live an amazing life and things are going to work out.

 

Love and hugs,

Osk

[gemini]

I believe we will both live amazing lives! How Are You doing?

[oskcajga]

I believe we will both live amazing lives! How Are You doing?

 

I'm ok - I think I'm getting better - feeling slightly more emotions as time goes by.  My sleep is slowly improving, and my limbs and face are less numb.

 

Still have a screwed up relationship with my mothers side of the family - they seem intent on me working immediately, and refuse to support or acknowledge my situation in a reasonable mature way.

 

My relationship with my father is ok, but I just get sick of him because we're around eachother a lot.  People with similar personalities tend to find eachother difficult to deal with.