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From awalkerphoenix


awalkerphoenix

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Hey everyone. I have been reading these posts for months now. I have to say in some sick way I have found comfort knowing that I am not the only one suffering from weird symptoms. It seems like most people on here are suffering way more than me, but I have had my own personal hell, not just in the last 3 months since my taper, but the last year and a half in general. I have told my story many times, so will try to keep it short.

 

March 2010 I started have strange dizzy spells. I was suffering from imbalance issues. It took me forever to find out what was wrong. In about 6 months I saw maybe 9 doctors. A few of them were convincing me that I had migraine problems, even after I had testing done 3 separate times showing that I had a large vestibular (inner ear) loss. The doctors felt that Vestibular Neuritis (which I had) would not have lasted that long. They started pushing drugs on me for migraines. These are the drugs I was on, all described by different doctors and specialists. Looking back, this is crazy to see what I tried, but for anyone who has never experienced a vestibular problem as bad as mine, you have no idea how scary it is:

 

Nortriptyline (tryciclic AD) - About 9 mos, starting at 25mg building to 100mg a day. 100mg for at least 5 mos. This was done with very little Dr. supervision.

 

Topamax - Only about 2 weeks. I didn't like the drug and did not trust the Dr.

 

Neurontin - 300mgs for about 3 months

 

Klonopin - 2.5 or 5mg depending on situation. Used this as needed.

 

Valium- 5mg? Used as needed.

 

 

In the end, I ended up finding a Physio Therapist in Jan of 2011 who specializes in vestibular and balance problems. She was a godsend. I saw her once a week and she gave me exercises to do at home that would help my head, eye and body coordination. All I can say is that I never thought I would get better, and now in the last 2 months or so, cannot believe how much better I am! I have had this problem for almost 1.5 years, and am glad that the worst of it is over.

 

So, once I started feeling a little better, I figured I would get off this last drug I was on, the Nortrip. I called the doctor in Feb and he told me to go from 100mg to 75 for two weeks, then 50 for two, then 25 for two, then take 25 every other day. Honestly, I think he might have just told me one week per drop...can't recall. Anyway, I recall driving one day and started seeing little bubble shaped FLOATERS against the skyline and bright colored cars. I don't remember when it was that I started noticing the horrible spiderweb / fiber FLOATERS, but those are still very constant. I have been officially off the drugs for 5 weeks now, which seems still early by judging what I have read on here from other posters.

 

I saw an Opthamalogist in October 2010, before I had any of the floaters or light sensitivity. We both felt that my eyes were perfect. I have never had any vision problems or complaints. As soon as the floaters started I saw him in March. He couldn't find anything wrong. I saw him again a few weeks back, in May. Again he said I have perfect eyes. Can see nothing wrong. I explained to him my theory about the drugs doing something to my nerves or eyes. He , like all the other doctors, said that that drug should or wouldn't do this to me, but he understood I was suffering so told me my theory could be somewhat possible.

 

I am obviously fixated on this now. I feel like if I knew the drugs were 100% my problem and this would somehow, someday go away, I would be ok with it. I mean, I just got through 16 months of what I thought was the worst thing I have experienced in my life. I now know I can face anything, but the uncertainty is scary.

 

This brings me to my questions:

 

I read about Benzo's and SSRI's on here a lot, but can a Tryclicic do this to me?

 

Was 10 month and 100mgs on this drug a long time?

 

Is it strange that really the only sidefx I notice are the floaters, light sensitivity and severe dehydration? I have some fogginess in the head and cognitive problems, but I had these the entire time I had my vestibular problem.

 

I read people ask the all the time, but rarely to see any real positive answers...Does this get better? Will these floaters subside? I don't think they are "real" floaters as the eye doctor cannot see anything and I am only 28 with no vision problems.

 

 

Thank you so much everyone. It has been a pleasure reading some of the positive things you have said. Some of the posts do scare me though. I can't have this eye junk forever, it is the worst!

 

Thanks!

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Welcome, AW!

 

I'm going to read your post again later when I'm more clear-headed but a few thoughts come to mind and besides, I wanted to say hi!

 

Others here might be more familiar with tricyclics. I'm not much help on that, but I do think more and more that there can be many symptoms in recovery from any med that affects the nervous system.

 

Did I understand correctly that you've only been off the nortriptyline three months?

 

That's not long at all. I expect you'll have a lot of healing but you'll have to give it a little more time. Especially after a taper schedule that is common insofar as what doctors give but not a good one for meds that act on the nervous system (especially the every other day dosing).

 

I had a weird visual thing occur after a very fast taper (could hardly even be called a taper) off a pretty large dose of a benzodiazepine many years ago. It's different from what you're experiencing, but the important thing is I had it for quite a while but it got better over time and almost never have it anymore.

 

In my case I had a large circle that was sort of a metallic (gold-silver) color shooting up periodically from the lower outer corner of my vision at a diagonal to the center of my vision, then back again. Is that weird or what?

 

My eye doctor is excellent and he couldn't find anything that could be causing it, so I didn't worry. But it was distracting sometimes.

 

It did last a while. But the last time it occurred, I realized it has probably been years since the last time. It really surprised me, in fact, because I was amazed that I'd actually forgotten all about it. While previously it occurred frequently every day.

 

I know that floaters are a common SSRI withdrawal symptom.

 

So I know it must be annoying, but if you only recently went off the med, do know that symptoms heal faster than others. This will probably just need some time and then decrease to where you'll suddenly remember you had this symptom but it's gone!

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Thank you for the encouragement. Like I mentioned in my post, I am still recovering from the inner ear problem, and that has been like 15 months, so I know things take awhile, but they do eventually heal. In the meantime it is just so difficult to work all day and not let these things bother me =(

 

It has only been 5 full weeks since my last pill, but started tapering about mid Feb I think.

 

Happy to be off drugs. I will never take another one again. I am currently taking Fish oil and Magnesium. Doubt it will do anything, but hopefully it can't hurt.

 

Thanks again for the reply.

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  • Administrator

Welcome, awalker. I've moved your first topic to Introductions. Please feel you can ask any questions about your condition here, and keep us updated with how you're doing.

 

Hey everyone. I have been reading these posts for months now. I have to say in some sick way I have found comfort knowing that I am not the only one suffering from weird symptoms.....

 

That's not weird -- we all feel that way. Glad you're here.

 

....In the end, I ended up finding a Physio Therapist in Jan of 2011 who specializes in vestibular and balance problems. She was a godsend. I saw her once a week and she gave me exercises to do at home that would help my head, eye and body coordination.....

It's amazing what these non-invasive treatments can do. I wish doctors would start with them instead of loading people up with drugs.

 

....I read about Benzo's and SSRI's on here a lot, but can a Tryclicic do this to me?

AW, the tricyclics (TCAs) were notorious for withdrawal problems. That gave impetus to the development of the second (or third, depending on whom you cite) generation of antidepressants -- the SSRIs and SNRIs which, competitively, were claimed at first to have less severe side effects and withdrawal symptoms.

 

The tricyclics, including nortriptyline, are anticholinergics, which contributes to their awful side effects and, possibly, withdrawal issues. Antihistamines are also anticholinergics. Among side effects are dry eyes and mouth.

 

In the 1960s, tricyclic withdrawal symptoms were attributed to cholinergic rebound, causing nausea and diarrhea. However, while cholinergic rebound may be involved, it's more likely that, like all antidepressants, the real culprit in TCA withdrawal is serotonergic downregulation. (The only SSRI/SNRI with anticholinergic activity is Paxil or paroxetine.)

 

The answer to your question is yes, your TCA can cause prolonged withdrawal symptoms.

 

....Was 10 month and 100mgs on this drug a long time?

In people who are sensitive, the amount of time on a drug has no relation to severity of withdrawal.

 

Also, your entire drug history has to be taken into account. Each successive drug can compound the sensitivity or previous damage from earlier medications. Do not blame yourself for this. Most of us have been put on multiple drugs as we searched for a solution for our symptoms. Medical error is responsible.

 

....Is it strange that really the only sidefx I notice are the floaters, light sensitivity and severe dehydration? I have some fogginess in the head and cognitive problems, but I had these the entire time I had my vestibular problem.

It isn't strange. We each have odd assortments of symptoms. This is because withdrawal syndrome is probably dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system, which affects all the "automatic" activities of the body.

 

Light sensitivity is very, very common in antidepressant withdrawal syndrome. In the Symptoms forum, we're talking about ways to cut down the light input to assist recovery.

 

By the way, how are you sleeping?

 

....Does this get better? Will these floaters subside? I don't think they are "real" floaters as the eye doctor cannot see anything and I am only 28 with no vision problems.

You are correct, they aren't "real" floaters -- the ophthalmologist would be able to see real floaters in an eye examination, as well as corneal or retinal damage. (I had a burst of real floaters in withdrawal, they eventually subsided; I was in my mid-50s.)

 

If I were you, I would suspect upstream problems in nervous system interpretation of vision. Many of us have had visual distortions. They do resolve over time. Reducing light can help -- see the Symptoms forum.

 

You might talk with your ophthalmologist to see if the cholinergic issue has anything to do with your eyes. Perhaps they are still dry from the TCA and eye drops can help while they get back to normal.

 

....It has been a pleasure reading some of the positive things you have said. Some of the posts do scare me though. I can't have this eye junk forever, it is the worst!....

We're all here because of medical error -- it's true, this can be scary. Don't get scared, get mad and join us in changing things so people don't get injured by these drugs anymore.

 

Please don't worry, you will get better -- perhaps by inches instead of yards, but you will get better. As you've found with the physiotherapy, small changes can make a difference.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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My sleep has actually been really great the last 8 months or so. My whole life I always had problems falling asleep, but lately falling asleep is not an issue. The issue I do have is the mornings. Usually once I was up I cannot fall back asleep. I think a lot of this also has to do with light sources. My window faces the East, so we get it bright in the morning. I end up sleeping with a pillow over my face because any kind of light bothers me when my eyes are closed. I always had this problem growing up...could never sleep with TV or any kind of lights on, but it seems just a little worse nowadays.

 

I must also note that the whole time I was on all these drugs, I never had any issues. I also used Zoloft for a few years in my teens, but never had any side effects either while on it. I also think I stopped the zoloft kind of cold turkey, mostly because I was uneducated on it. I don't recall ever having any issues with it. This Nortrptaline seems to be wreaking havoc on my eyes now though.

 

I also recall telling doctors about Palinopsia (afterimages) for the last year. I am pretty sure I had them before the drugs, thinking they were just a result of the vestibular problem. That symptom has seemed to lessen in the last month or so.

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Awalk, welcome to our forum! Thank you for sharing your story with us and please keep us updated about your progress.

2000-2008 Paxil for a situational depression

2008 - Paxil c/t

Severe protracted WD syndrome ever since; improving

 

 

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once”

Albert Einstein

 

"Add signature to your profile. This way we can help you even better!"

Surviving Antidepressants ;)

 

And, above all, ... keep walking. Just keep walking.

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  • Administrator

That waking up early is classic withdrawal light sensitivity. Your eyelids register the light even if your eyes are closed. Suggest light-blocking on your windows plus sleep mask so you can sleep in the early a.m.

 

Getting more sleep can't hurt, it can only help recovery.

 

If I were you, my guess would be the visual disturbance is your nerves complaining about too much incoming stimulation, reduce stimulation overall and they'll settle down. I'd work on consistently reducing light stimulation in all ways you can control to assist recovery.

 

Protect your eyes from light in other situations. Turn the brightness on your computer display down.

 

If the amber shades in http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/304-blocking-out-blue-light-to-help-sleep/page__view__findpost__p__3231 don't appeal, invest in some very dark amber sunglasses that are guaranteed to block blue light (apparently there are a lot of false claims out there).

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I already wear amber glasses! Funny you bring that up, because I had an amber pair break a month ago, so I went to buy new ones. They man there told me that the black ones are more polarized and knock down more light, so I tried them. I took them back the next day and told him I want amber. I guess on my own I found that the amber blocked out the floaters more. Crazy. Thanks for the tip!

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  • Administrator

Yep, if we listen to our bodies, they'll tell us what they want.

 

About the light-blocking in the morning -- you might start with the sleep mask (it's weird but try to think of it as attractively kinky). The idea is to block the light before it reaches your eyelids. After that, your waking clock is triggered and the eye mask may not help.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I guess something that would be nice to know is, has anyone had these floaters because of the drugs/wd and actually had them go away? It seems like 90% of people on here or ****** have them forever or they never go away... =(

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These floaters are just really getting to me. Instead of getting better, they are staying or getting worse. They are so distracting. With every minute that I find a little hope or optimism, it is quickly replaced with fear and anxiety that they will never go away. I hate this so much. I am so terrified of light now! For every person I find with something good to say about them, I find 5 others who are stuck with them. I need this to end!

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  • Administrator

AW -- true floaters are like clusters of mucus in the liquid that fills the eye. They are a typical symptom of aging and once they start, they never completely go away.

 

You have been checked for this. If you had them, they'd be physically present and the doctor would see them in an eye exam. You do not have the true kind of floater. It may be others are talking about the true kind of floater.

 

What you seem to have is a sort of visual disturbance. Many of us have had this symptom. It does change and alleviate.

 

For a couple of years in withdrawal syndrome, light sensitivity made me uncharacteristically prone to migraines when exposed to bright light, such as reflections from the chrome trim on cars. (Fortunately, pre-withdrawal, I was not prone to migraines.)

 

They were preceded by visual disturbances, a typical symptom of migraines. A couple of times, this took the form of checkerboarding -- a checkerboard pattern would start at the edge of my vision and gradually take over all of it. I could barely see. This is not unheard-of in migraines.

 

On a couple of occasions, I would get a visual disturbance but not get the headache.

 

Although migraines are not well understood, the visual disturbance is thought to be in the way the nervous system is processing stimuli, not from a physical cause.

 

The migraines seem to have stopped, although some types of bright light do make me feel sort of uncomfortable.

 

This may relate to what you're experiencing -- maybe a kind of very low-grade migraine, thankfully without the pain. If I were you, I would cut down light stimulation across the board, in every situation, in every way you can.

 

If you have a big flat-screen TV, either turn down the brightness, watch it with sunglasses on, or don't watch it. Hours in front of a monitor can be triggering your light sensitivity -- sunglasses again, or those amber shades can help.

 

This may not help immediately, give it a couple of weeks. The good news is these symptoms do lessen over time. The bad news is it may take months or a couple of years.

 

When you say people "never" recover it may be because 1) the posts are fragmented and you miss the one where they say the symptom went away, 2) when people recover, they tend to stop posting, 3) when symptoms change, people focus on the worst that's happening now and forget what they were complaining about previously.

 

One of the purposes of this site is to capture recovery stories over time (longitudinal) so others can understand how symptoms change and resolve, and how long it takes.

 

Again, you will have to be patient. We are so used to taking a pill and feeling better in a day or two, we need to learn to be patient while the body repairs itself without intervention.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Again these seem like actual floaters, which I guess I could have, but find it strange that they just showed up, overnight, in both eyes and at the same time I started tapering... The migraine isn't my case, as they are always there, constantly. The reason I was on these damn drugs was because the doctors were trying to convince me I had migraines, which was not the case. I love how doctors say the are "harmless". It is good that they are no dangerous, but the affects they have on your daily life is anything but harmless. They are impossible to ignore. Since they started I have been unable to even think when in bright lights. Looking at the sky I now see all kinds of shimmery visual snow as well as bubbles and wormlike things floating around, on top of the black fibers, threads and spiderwebs. I had absolutely 0 problems like this before and on the drugs. Since my first taper they showed up. The drugs HAVE to of caused this, I am just worried they fried my eyes and brain forever =(

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  • Administrator

The drugs have NOT fried your eyes and brain forever. It may take a while to recover; you might as well stop worrying now and resign yourself to being patient.

 

A doctor would be able to see actual floaters. Perhaps your doctor wasn't taking you seriously and didn't look too hard? Maybe you need a second opinion?

 

If they are actual floaters, most often they settle down; like the flakes in a snowglobe, they tend to drift towards the bottom of your eye. This also takes some weeks or months and you cannot accelerate it.

 

At any rate, since you have light sensitivity as well, it seems cutting down on light stimulation might help.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I am trying sssooooo hard to just ignore this stuff and think positive, but my god it is hard at times! The Opthamologist did looks at my eyes very extensively both times. He did take me serious, and although he had never heard of drugs causing eye problems like this, he did think that my theory about the drugs causing problems with my nerves was plausible. There was nothing he could do on his end.

 

I try to avoid light stimulation at all costs, but I work in Film VFX and use computers all day! Plus our offices are full of white walls, lots of windows and flourescent lights =( I avoid them like the plague, but hard to do it all day and all week. I only get some relief once the sun goes down at night, which is now like 8 30pm in California. Trying to remain calm, but like everyone on here, I just want to be "normal", something I haven't felt since the end 2009.

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  • Administrator

AW, I am beginning to understand your difficulty.

 

Do you have to do color correction? If not, can you wear smoke-colored glasses while you're working on the computer? Can you turn down the brightness on the monitor or are they all calibrated?

 

Staring at the computer screen all day -- I can definitely see how, if you have withdrawal light sensitivity, it might set off afterimages. I get them myself if I spend too long on the computer, staring at the screen.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I do not do color correction. I could wear shades, but really don't want to be the weird guy in the office who wears sunglasses. It's also that kind of thing where I don't want to mask the problem, I just want it to get better! I used to get afterimages pretty bad while on the drug, but this symptoms seems to have decreased a bit...or maybe it just doesn't bother anymore since this new stuff is so much worse.

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  • Administrator

Wear the shades and tell them you need to wear them temporarily because your eyes have become light-sensitive in the allergy season.

 

Also take breaks to rest your eyes.

 

You're not going to get a clear-cut diagnosis and treatment, don't be stubborn. Do you want to become unable to work?

 

Seriously, you have to take care of yourself.

 

PS Try to make them brownish shades, maybe blocking some blue light will help, and try wearing those amber shades at home.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I know this question is asked a lot, but what I don't get is, shouldn't these drugs b e out of my system after 7 weeks? I feel like I am getting worse the longer I am off. For people like my family and wife, how do I explain to them that I am still suffering from a drug I stopped taking almost 2 months ago? Why is it getting worse and not better? I was only on the drug for 9 months...

Edited by surviving
put title in upper-lowercase
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  • Administrator

AW -- Withdrawal symptoms occur on reduction or cessation of a drug. That's what withdrawal means. The drugs are out of your body, that is exactly why your nervous system is complaining.

 

Antidepressants are not technically addictive, but they cause physical dependency. When you reduce or stop dosage, you can get withdrawal symptoms, just as heroin addicts get withdrawal symptoms from kicking heroin.

 

People experience various intensity and duration of antidepressant withdrawal. For some, maybe the majority, it is mild and over in a few weeks. Medicine bases its assumptions about withdrawal on these people. For others, withdrawal is more difficult and lasts longer.

 

It's hard to tell how long it will take any one person to recover. It could be months, it could be years. In your case, because you are young, it probably will be a shorter period.

 

Because doctors insist that withdrawal takes only a few weeks of recovery, they deny prolonged withdrawal exists and don't have any information on how it resolves. That is why we have started a peer support Web site. We are providing support and gathering information on recovery from prolonged withdrawal syndrome, which medicine largely pretends doesn't exist.

 

You have been to many doctors searching for a quick cure for your symptoms. You can keep looking -- as so many of us have -- but there is no definite treatment for withdrawal syndrome. There is no pill you can take to make it go away quickly. We have suggested ways you might alleviate your symptoms. We have all found from experience that all we can do is, very gently and little by little, help our nervous systems to repair themselves.

 

You need to find some things that can work for you. It takes patience, inner strength, and a positive attitude to work through this. All of us have had difficulty explaining our situations to family, friends, and employers. If you have questions about that, please start a topic in the Family forum.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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But people do get out of this? It just feels so permanent when you are dealing with it on a daily basis. These floaters are killing me and I feel like they will never leave. All I hear from people is "they are natural, you just have to get used to them."

 

The doctor doesn't see any floaters or anything wrong with my eyes. They started over night when I began to taper. It has to be the drugs! The only reason I was put on it was because my doctor kept trying to convince me that I had migraines, which I never did. My only problem was VN. When I said I felt fine on the drug, I meant I had no side effects. Once I started getting better with VRT, I decided I no longer needed the drug. Plus my doctor was not monitoring me at all.

 

When I would see him after a few month he would just say "Try going up to 75mg...now 100mg..." I didn't have migraines or anxiety problems so why stay on it? Plus I had multiple other doctors giving me other drugs all at the same time. None of them thought this was strange or weird. I am not even close to bedridden. My sleep is good and I work full time. My balance was great for about a month or so while off these drugs too. The only thing I really noticed once I started tapering was the eye floaters which is very, very common with AD withdrawal.

 

They are not "real" floaters which everyone suggests. Bunches of them showed up over night within days of my taper. I am young and healthy with no eyes issues whatsoever. I have seen the Opthamologist twice and he had done thorough checks both times. He says my eyes are perfect and he sees no floaters or other issues. I DO NOT have migraines.

 

I know I have/had VN because my gaze stability has greatly improved with VRT. I had weeks where I didn't think about my VN or imbalance. I really thought I turned the corner. I know these drugs did something to my Nervous System because I can't walk outside without being blinded by the sun and seeing black and clear objects floating all over the place as well as visual snow.

 

My biggest problem now is the chicken and the egg. Am I having vestibular problems or withdrawal problems. Is one causing the other? As far as any other drugs, there was a time about 10 years ago when I used Zoloft for about 2 years. In my late teens I would get terrible nervous stomachs and throw up a lot. I had no problem on Zoloft or getting off. I came off of it because I outgrew my anxiety problem. I was anxiety and drug free for about 5 to 6 years. The only reason I started trying these other drugs was because I could not figure out my vestibular problem.

 

Also, walking around dizzy all day and not knowing the problem did create some anxiety, so the Nortrip did help me. But once I started to get my balance back and more confident I decided I wanted to be drug free.

 

Other than the vestibular and withdrawal symptoms causing some depression and anxiety now, I don't have any "real" depression or anxiety. I love my job. I love my wife and family. Everything is good. I just want to feel normal again and it has been a year and a half since I felt that way. I am scared I will never feel like my old self again. I cannot stress enough that this vestibular problem has nothing at all to do with anxiety or depression. It is real. I had testing done three times showing that I had severe loss of my input on my right side. I have almost conquered this problem which is why these floaters and eye problems that seem like something so minor to many people on this site are such a big deal to me.

 

I had 16 months where I couldn't walk or think straight, now I got these things that affect me every second my eyes are open. I am content now that this problem is here and may be here for awhile, but I would feel way better if I knew these problems were normal for someone in my situation and will eventually get better and go away. Thank you for your time everyone, I am really having a hard time right now.

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But people do get out of this? It just feels so permanent when you are dealing with it on a daily basis. These floaters are killing me and I feel like they will never leave. All I hear from people is "they are natural, you just have to get used to them." The doctor doesn't see any floaters or anything wrong with my eyes. They started over night when I began to taper. It has to be the drugs!....

 

AW, don't despair. Recovery is slow but you will recover.

 

I believe your reasoning is sound, your symptoms are a result of the drugs and withdrawal.

 

You seem to be in the self-blame phase, where you go over and over the mistakes that led you here. (I think when we do this, we are reviewing history, hoping to undo it.) Please do what you can to stop blaming yourself.

 

When you do this, you can start dealing with your present situation.

 

Everyone here is suffering from medical error, as you are. This is a very, very difficult realization to make.

 

Hang in there, we're here for you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Shades, aw, shades.

 

Did I read on FB that you've developed additional symptoms?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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The scariest thing is the eye stuff. Hard not to think that these things in my eyes are permanent. Is it possible that the withdrawal has affected my nervous system and will just improve in time? And by possible, I mean others have had the before and gotten over it?

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Not, not really. I think it is my vestibular stuff acting up, but I think the withdrawal stuff could be causing them...

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  • 4 months later...

My eye floaters are still driving me crazy and my last pill was like 8 months ago. The dehydration has improved, but I still just can't believe that the drugs could still be causing this many problems for my eyes. I am scared that I will never get better.

 

I am giving up hope now.

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  • Administrator

awalker, as you can see by the experience of others on this site, recovery from withdrawal syndrome can be very slow and frustrating.

 

Still, it's a good sign dehydration is better. How did you deal with that? What were the symptoms?

 

Are you still light-sensitive?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Light sensitivity is still horrible. Outside during the day intensifies the floaters, I can barely open my eyes, plus I also see shimmering white stuff in the blue sky. Think it is Scheerer's Phenomenon. I had none of this before I started tapering and eventually getting off.

 

As far as dehydration, I am still thirsty all the time, but nowhere near how bad it was 4 months ago.

 

I understand everyone has issues when going through withdrawal, but I just don't see a lot of people. especially on here, that have this bad of vision issues. Plus after 8 months I would just think things would be getting better, not staying the same or getting worse. =(

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  • 3 months later...

I am still really struggling with the eye symptoms. No improvement. In fact it seems worse at time. I am really starting to lose my faith...

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  • Administrator

Hi, awalker. Thanks for checking in.

 

Have you been using dark glasses at the computer? How about the blue light blocking amber shades?

 

Have you tried reducing light stimulation overall?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 year later...

The scariest thing is the eye stuff. Hard not to think that these things in my eyes are permanent. Is it possible that the withdrawal has affected my nervous system and will just improve in time? And by possible, I mean others have had the before and gotten over it?

What I suggest is to recall a time when a physical symptom or circumstance seemed unbearable and interminal.... And recall when it did end and life was good again. It helps me remember, no matter how bad it's been or for how long, it WILL change. It never stays exactly the same for terribly long (even when it's the same for several years it DOES eventually change!). In the midst of the dankest night, it's always darkest right before the dawn. And it simply cannot rain forever; you may be in a rainy season right now!! But the sun will shine again. I always replay how I ended up somewhere like I am looking for breadcrumbs to find my way back out.... It's especially helpful when you are dealing with multiple issues at once. I am not blaming myself as much as I want to find my way out of the darkness and not end up back in this spot again. We need to be pro-active advocates for ourselves bc our drs sure aren't fully invested enough to watch out for us. My state is very thin on decent neurologists! But if your area has a good one, maybe if your symptoms don't begin to improve in the next couple of months, you could ask a good neurologist to help you rule out residual damage from your time on this med?? From your description of symptoms I would ask a neurologis about the source of these issues. I am hoping you are just about to turn the corner!!

Withdrawing meds: * lexapro 20mg (?) since maybe winter 2009-10. Self weaned this summer stopping in sept 2013 (I just cut in half for a few weeks, then took every other day then a couple x a week then nothing); *Xanax 0.5mg 4xday (dr cut by 50% twice in 16days oct 5-21st. By late Nov, dropped from 1/2 a 0.5mg tab tid to bid...by dec 1st, I was suicidal. Told dr I had to hold!) am still holding at 1/4 a 0.5mg tab bid since early dec; *sept 9 began buspar 7.5mg bid, raised to 15mg bid oct, nov 23 raised it 30mg am holding pm dose at 15mg. By Dec 11th I knew my liver was heading into failure again... Heart rapidly moving towards stroke levels. BP escalating rapidly towards stroke levels... BP moving past 200/130+ and heart rate hitting 200s everyday after buspar dose. Ribs were burning from being pushed so far out by the swollen liver plus itching severe- needed scissors to scratch deep enough but still itching 24/7. Checked for buspar symptoms I had them all plus a few underlying conditions making buspar contraindicated. For me buspar is literally toxic.

*buspar taper:

~dec 11th dropped from 30mg am/15mg pm to 15mg am/pm

~dec 17th pm dropped to 12.5mg am/pm

~dec 29th pm dropped to 10mg am/pm

~jan 5th pm dropped to 7.5mg am/pm

~jan 7th pm dropped to 5mg am/pm {dropped in only two days under pressure from alto to drop Now... Bc she then realized I was referring to significant organ failures and was dealing with serious side effects not merely inconvenient ones. My w/d side effects spiked}

~jan 8th I raised the pm dose to 6.25mg leaving the am dose at 5mg; stayed at 5mg am/6.25mg pm for a few days

~jan 12th pm dropped to 5mg am/pm

~jan 18th pm dropped to 5mg am/3.75mg pm; experienced a crushing spike in symptoms including liver irritation and "lightening storm headaches" among others. Currently at this dose.

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  • 2 years later...

But people do get out of this? It just feels so permanent when you are dealing with it on a daily basis. These floaters are killing me and I feel like they will never leave. All I hear from people is "they are natural, you just have to get used to them."

 

The doctor doesn't see any floaters or anything wrong with my eyes. They started over night when I began to taper. It has to be the drugs! The only reason I was put on it was because my doctor kept trying to convince me that I had migraines, which I never did. My only problem was VN. When I said I felt fine on the drug, I meant I had no side effects. Once I started getting better with VRT, I decided I no longer needed the drug. Plus my doctor was not monitoring me at all.

 

When I would see him after a few month he would just say "Try going up to 75mg...now 100mg..." I didn't have migraines or anxiety problems so why stay on it? Plus I had multiple other doctors giving me other drugs all at the same time. None of them thought this was strange or weird. I am not even close to bedridden. My sleep is good and I work full time. My balance was great for about a month or so while off these drugs too. The only thing I really noticed once I started tapering was the eye floaters which is very, very common with AD withdrawal.

 

They are not "real" floaters which everyone suggests. Bunches of them showed up over night within days of my taper. I am young and healthy with no eyes issues whatsoever. I have seen the Opthamologist twice and he had done thorough checks both times. He says my eyes are perfect and he sees no floaters or other issues. I DO NOT have migraines.

 

I know I have/had VN because my gaze stability has greatly improved with VRT. I had weeks where I didn't think about my VN or imbalance. I really thought I turned the corner. I know these drugs did something to my Nervous System because I can't walk outside without being blinded by the sun and seeing black and clear objects floating all over the place as well as visual snow.

 

My biggest problem now is the chicken and the egg. Am I having vestibular problems or withdrawal problems. Is one causing the other? As far as any other drugs, there was a time about 10 years ago when I used Zoloft for about 2 years. In my late teens I would get terrible nervous stomachs and throw up a lot. I had no problem on Zoloft or getting off. I came off of it because I outgrew my anxiety problem. I was anxiety and drug free for about 5 to 6 years. The only reason I started trying these other drugs was because I could not figure out my vestibular problem.

 

Also, walking around dizzy all day and not knowing the problem did create some anxiety, so the Nortrip did help me. But once I started to get my balance back and more confident I decided I wanted to be drug free.

 

Other than the vestibular and withdrawal symptoms causing some depression and anxiety now, I don't have any "real" depression or anxiety. I love my job. I love my wife and family. Everything is good. I just want to feel normal again and it has been a year and a half since I felt that way. I am scared I will never feel like my old self again. I cannot stress enough that this vestibular problem has nothing at all to do with anxiety or depression. It is real. I had testing done three times showing that I had severe loss of my input on my right side. I have almost conquered this problem which is why these floaters and eye problems that seem like something so minor to many people on this site are such a big deal to me.

 

I had 16 months where I couldn't walk or think straight, now I got these things that affect me every second my eyes are open. I am content now that this problem is here and may be here for awhile, but I would feel way better if I knew these problems were normal for someone in my situation and will eventually get better and go away. Thank you for your time everyone, I am really having a hard time right now.

Has your vision improved? I am having the same problem.

Took Prozac  (generic Fluoxetine) 10 mg for 4.5 months. First and only psych med. Stopped cold turkey. Been in protracted withdrawal for 2 years since I stopped ssri.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Vision symptoms: floaters, snow, blurred/dimmed vision, twitching and pain

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