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Marriages destroyed by SSRI SNRI - Topix

491 posts in this topic

Oh and she won't research anything about SSRI or educate herself. I just don't understand why.

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It's going to take a long time before you get I'm sorry but one day it will come it may take a while and that of the blue she's going to come to you and say I'm sorry. Right now she's not sorry for what she done because she doesn't even understand it herself it all takes time and a lot of it and that's where the patients come in.

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It's going to take a long time before you get I'm sorry but one day it will come it may take a while and that of the blue she's going to come to you and say I'm sorry..

 

My ex wrote me an e-mail where she said that she is thankful for all good moments of our relationship and she is sorry for all bad things that happened. 

 

That was all. After that she married  other guy.

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My husband has done and is doing everything in his power to make me happy. He is truly remorseful. It took along time for him to understand what was happening to himself but when his head was cleared he came to me with his apologies and remorse. I know several others that this same thing happened. I am sorry for your loss. This is truly a life changing experience.

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It will have been two years in May since my partner quit Paxil. We are back together, he is a lot more loving towards us all, but the remorse is still barely there. He still refuses to talk or move forward. He is still putting his own needs before his family and being really quite selfish. He makes promises of family holidays etc, but never follows through, but still does all his hobbies. I saw on another thread somewhere that people tend to take roughly the same amount of time that they were on the pills to recover. So for me that could be another two years until he is completely himself again! Most days things are ok. But because I don't agree with his selfish choices and have voiced them, he's started ignoring me and acting childish just like when he was on the pills. I really hoped we'd be back on track by now. No one can accuse me of not being patient (to the point of losing a lot of respect for myself). I wonder if he'll be one of the ones who never fully recover...

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Since getting off of these meds, I am a whole different person and it saved my marriage. Well, unless my withdrawal symptoms now destroy it. The pressure on my wife is immense. She is carrying the financial burden for the most part, working a difficult job that she hates to begin with. And she gets frustrated with me because there are days when I can't do much of anything around the house because the symptoms are so huge.

 

But I am grateful for my personality off of the drugs. And I do stay as helpful as possible. I have cut down to 3 days a week for work (very understanding boss, who actually was on Zoloft, did a perfect taper, got withdrawal but didn't know what it was and let her doctor put her back on Zoloft) - but even then it is very hard for me to go to the office and put in a full day.

 

SJ

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Hi, I would like to share my story. I was in a loving, beautiful relationship for six years. We loved eachother to bits. He proposed to me last summer. We were really looking forwards to a life together. After proposing he went on lexapro (20 mg), he almost immediately changed. He started picking fights, became cold, unloving and uncaring. Suddenly he also became what I would describe hypomanic. He started drinking and partying all the time. One day I found him on a dating site. He had no regrets what so ever. He could not see what was wrong with it. He became hostile an paranoid, thinking I was after his money. He changed his password to every account he had and kicked me out of the hous (we owned together). He said he wanted to be alone, that he finally was fealing fine. His personality totally changed. I do not recognise the man he has become. I have tried to give him space, to show him it is the medication doing this, but he doesen't want to listen. It is so increadable sad, we had the most beautiful relationship, looking forward to a life together. Five months after he proposed and started on lexapro this happens, why does he not wan't to see it? I have tried to talk to his doctor, but they are also telling him that he is fine now. I'm helpless, just praying that he will one day wake up from this nightmare and realise what he has done. All I think I can do for now is to stay away, he doesen't wan't to see me, and are treating me like the enemy, just for wanting him to taper down. This drug really can change people, and ruin relationships. (Sorry for the bad spelling, I almost never write in English)

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Hi, I would like to share my story. I was in a loving, beautiful relationship for six years. We loved eachother to bits. He proposed to me last summer. We were really looking forwards to a life together. After proposing he went on lexapro (20 mg), he almost immediately changed. He started picking fights, became cold, unloving and uncaring. Suddenly he also became what I would describe hypomanic. He started drinking and partying all the time. One day I found him on a dating site. He had no regrets what so ever. He could not see what was wrong with it. He became hostile an paranoid, thinking I was after his money. He changed his password to every account he had and kicked me out of the hous (we owned together). He said he wanted to be alone, that he finally was fealing fine. His personality totally changed. I do not recognise the man he has become. I have tried to give him space, to show him it is the medication doing this, but he doesen't want to listen. It is so increadable sad, we had the most beautiful relationship, looking forward to a life together. Five months after he proposed and started on lexapro this happens, why does he not wan't to see it? I have tried to talk to his doctor, but they are also telling him that he is fine now. I'm helpless, just praying that he will one day wake up from this nightmare and realise what he has done. All I think I can do for now is to stay away, he doesen't wan't to see me, and are treating me like the enemy, just for wanting him to taper down. This drug really can change people, and ruin relationships. (Sorry for the bad spelling, I almost never write in English)

My heart breaks for you, Irenee. These drugs have a way of putting the real person in a cage. I know that for me, when I would act horribly while on the meds, there was a voice inside of me that was the real me, telling the med-me to stop acting so horribly. Many other victims of these drugs say the same thing.

 

So no matter what comes next for you two, hold in your heart an image if who he was before. Sadly, that person may never come back, but at least you will have the comfort of that image.

 

I hope you don't mind if I lift you two up in prayer.

 

SJ

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Hi Irenne

 

I have had the exact same thing happen to me recently.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14552-another-failed-relationship/

 

I don't know what to tell you because I am as confused as you. The only good thing that has come out of my situation is that she has actually stopped taking the meds 3 or 4 weeks ago, so she may get better and realise what she has done, then again, she might not.

 

I wish you all the best. Try to look after yourself, I know how awful and painful this is.

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Hi you guys, just needed to reply to you and tell you I am in the same boat but only I was the drugged one. I have been tapering for a year and I am finally off medication. I can feel little tiny moments of myself come back and I pray my feelings come back for my partner like they were there before I was on these medications. Wish you the best and I'm here if you need any help

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Hi cooper girl thanks for popping in. I do hope that your feelings come back too. I can only imagine how awful it is but st least you know that there is a problem.

 

Take care

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I have been through all of the same things, it has been 4 years and 4 months we just got back from an overnight hospital stay and nothing was found with many tests and nothing was found in know it is still withdrawal.

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I have been through all of the same things, it has been 4 years and 4 months we just got back from an overnight hospital stay and nothing was found with many tests and nothing was found in know it is still withdrawal.

Mlib, I am so sorry to hear that your husband is still suffering after all this time. Can I ask how long was he on the drugs for in total? Does he have regular difficulties due to his withdrawals? Does it happen less frequently as time goes by?

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Hi, Henry. Thank you for your reply. I really hope she comes back to herself again now that she has stopped taking her medication. I really feel for you and can only say how sorry I am that you also have to go through this nightmare. Please let us know how it is going.

Best of wishes.

 

Hi Irenne

 

I have had the exact same thing happen to me recently.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14552-another-failed-relationship/

 

I don't know what to tell you because I am as confused as you. The only good thing that has come out of my situation is that she has actually stopped taking the meds 3 or 4 weeks ago, so she may get better and realise what she has done, then again, she might not.

 

I wish you all the best. Try to look after yourself, I know how awful and painful this is.

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Hi, SJ. Thank you so much for the reply. Your words is vert comforting. Thank you for lifting us in your prayers.

Best of wishes for you.

 

 

 

Hi, I would like to share my story. I was in a loving, beautiful relationship for six years. We loved eachother to bits. He proposed to me last summer. We were really looking forwards to a life together. After proposing he went on lexapro (20 mg), he almost immediately changed. He started picking fights, became cold, unloving and uncaring. Suddenly he also became what I would describe hypomanic. He started drinking and partying all the time. One day I found him on a dating site. He had no regrets what so ever. He could not see what was wrong with it. He became hostile an paranoid, thinking I was after his money. He changed his password to every account he had and kicked me out of the hous (we owned together). He said he wanted to be alone, that he finally was fealing fine. His personality totally changed. I do not recognise the man he has become. I have tried to give him space, to show him it is the medication doing this, but he doesen't want to listen. It is so increadable sad, we had the most beautiful relationship, looking forward to a life together. Five months after he proposed and started on lexapro this happens, why does he not wan't to see it? I have tried to talk to his doctor, but they are also telling him that he is fine now. I'm helpless, just praying that he will one day wake up from this nightmare and realise what he has done. All I think I can do for now is to stay away, he doesen't wan't to see me, and are treating me like the enemy, just for wanting him to taper down. This drug really can change people, and ruin relationships. (Sorry for the bad spelling, I almost never write in English)

My heart breaks for you, Irenee. These drugs have a way of putting the real person in a cage. I know that for me, when I would act horribly while on the meds, there was a voice inside of me that was the real me, telling the med-me to stop acting so horribly. Many other victims of these drugs say the same thing.

 

So no matter what comes next for you two, hold in your heart an image if who he was before. Sadly, that person may never come back, but at least you will have the comfort of that image.

 

I hope you don't mind if I lift you two up in prayer.

 

SJ

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Hi! I hope everyone is doing okay. It's been about 10 months since my loss of feelings and there have been some days in the past few weeks where I finally am somewhat feeling like I could be getting better, like maybe I'm finally starting to thrive and feel VERY slightly something for my boyfriend and somewhat connected but it all goes away the next day and doesn't return for a good while. Does anyone think this is normal? Like I said the slight feeling I get isn't really being in love or anything close to that, but there are some times I feel that I don't wanna lose him. I hope this is a good sign. Thank you in advance!

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Hi! I hope everyone is doing okay. It's been about 10 months since my loss of feelings and there have been some days in the past few weeks where I finally am somewhat feeling like I could be getting better, like maybe I'm finally starting to thrive and feel VERY slightly something for my boyfriend and somewhat connected but it all goes away the next day and doesn't return for a good while. Does anyone think this is normal? Like I said the slight feeling I get isn't really being in love or anything close to that, but there are some times I feel that I don't wanna lose him. I hope this is a good sign. Thank you in advance!

 

Hi SadandConfused - 

 

First off, my heart goes out to you! The loss of feelings is not an easy thing to deal with.

 

Secondly - hooray! Hooray that some sort of feelings have come back for you! Even if they are fleeting, they are a sign that your body is healing, that your heart is overcoming the lies that the meds tell us.

 

So take what is going on as a good sign - because it is!

 

SJ

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Hi! I hope everyone is doing okay. It's been about 10 months since my loss of feelings and there have been some days in the past few weeks where I finally am somewhat feeling like I could be getting better, like maybe I'm finally starting to thrive and feel VERY slightly something for my boyfriend and somewhat connected but it all goes away the next day and doesn't return for a good while. Does anyone think this is normal? Like I said the slight feeling I get isn't really being in love or anything close to that, but there are some times I feel that I don't wanna lose him. I hope this is a good sign. Thank you in advance!

Hi SadandConfused -

 

First off, my heart goes out to you! The loss of feelings is not an easy thing to deal with.

 

Secondly - hooray! Hooray that some sort of feelings have come back for you! Even if they are fleeting, they are a sign that your body is healing, that your heart is overcoming the lies that the meds tell us.

 

So take what is going on as a good sign - because it is!

 

SJ

Aww thank you so much!! I appreciate everyone on this site seriously so much!!! Seriously I don't know where I'd be right now without you guys. It's just crazy cause when me and my boyfriend first met I didn't have to "try" at all to love him, it just happened so fast and I was so so crazy about him. And now it's like I'm always trying to find a reason to stay. Yes these pills definitely lie to us! That's such a good way to explain it. It's so crazy how you can be with someone for years and be so so in love and then feel so much nothingness.

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Hi everyone. I've posted on SA before, but not here I think. My husband, the love of my life, has been on and off SSRIs for more than 20 years. He went from 10 mg. to 20 mg. Lexapro last spring and became an entirely different person. He left me within weeks of the birth of our third child. I can now see how he was emotionally blunted the last 7 years or so, the years he STOPPED going off the meds, but it was nothing compared to what happened last spring. Hypomanic, cold, apathetic . . . brutal nightmare. Thanks be to God, he started tapering, though not nearly slowly enough, a few months ago. I've noticed a few occasions since then where he was more engaged, more himself, but he's in a wave right now of this evil twin version of himself. He probably stopped the meds cold turkey 30 times or so since he was 15, so this is the first time he's "tapering." I'm just asking for your support, which I know you'll offer, and put my prayers out to everyone else struggling with the hell these meds cause to loving relationships. I will ask for prayers as well. I'm on the various FB support groups as well, and understand the nature of tapering, especially when done too quickly. Just hoping that even if he holds at 5 mg, his current dose, for a few months, some feelings will begin to surface. Thanks for listening. Any insight welcome, especially from folks who have withstood a successful taper and gotten their loves back. 

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Hi Mermaid - 

 

I am so sorry that you and your husband and children are going through this. You have my prayers.

 

My marriage turned around when I got off of the meds. We went from a hellish contentious existence to a loving and caring one. So keep the faith and have hope! This will happen for you guys also. Just stay connected to each other and God. Practice long suffering and forgiveness. And nurture the times when they are good - and praise your husband every time that you can! It will actually help heal his limbic system - the place where emotions, memories, and biochemistry meet. By forming new good memories, the limbic system learns to calm down.

 

Hang in there!

 

SJ

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Thank you, SJ. This info is VERY helpful. I am as loving as I can be, but during these waves he seems almost irritated, agitated, by positive interactions from me. Like his system can't handle it. God has been the single biggest source of hope throughout this ordeal, so thank you for reiterating that as well. I'm trying to surrender to Him, while being actively hopeful. It's a paradox that's hard to sustain at times. My truth is simply that I love my husband. I love him I love him I love him. It feels nice to affirm that here. I love him. Sigh. I feel there is nothing to forgive, but the long suffering part is REAL. But as I said, I love him. Thank you again. 

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13 hours ago, Mermaid17 said:

Thank you, SJ. This info is VERY helpful. I am as loving as I can be, but during these waves he seems almost irritated, agitated, by positive interactions from me. Like his system can't handle it. God has been the single biggest source of hope throughout this ordeal, so thank you for reiterating that as well. I'm trying to surrender to Him, while being actively hopeful. It's a paradox that's hard to sustain at times. My truth is simply that I love my husband. I love him I love him I love him. It feels nice to affirm that here. I love him. Sigh. I feel there is nothing to forgive, but the long suffering part is REAL. But as I said, I love him. Thank you again. 

HI mermaid sorry for the troubles brought to you by these disgusting drugs.the irritation from interaction you talk about ,I can relate to this so much,its a horrible part of withdrawl ,he is irritated but not by  you personally .my partner has a hard time understanding this .one thing is loosing libido but this is a whole different level of horrible .the brain gets lost with itself I reckon and it cant distinguish between all the interactions going on ,like a bomb going off in the brain I reckon .

 

Maybe learn when to stay away from him to give you a break ,its very hard being around us when like this .you got to take care of yourself first ,you cant end up with depression also .I stress this a lot with my partner .

take care

PB

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