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Marriages Destroyed by SSRI SNRI - Topix


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#37 btdt

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Posted 19 October 2014 - 04:20 AM

We are chemical soup we truly can be changed by drugs we can also be changed back somewhat when we stop taking them we truly can.  I wish you peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#38 btdt

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Posted 19 October 2014 - 04:22 AM

Two things generally go with this remunerating and negativity there are threads about these topics here on SA please search and read them or the self care section if you need some help in finding peace. 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#39 mylifeisback

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Posted 28 October 2014 - 06:35 PM

I just found the second page on this site, my husband is still having a hard time withdraw is still knocking at his door, its been 2 years now and he is still fighting. I find that he is even becoming more remorseful as time goes by. He now knows it was the drug and all of the things that je did over the past 5 or more years is hitting home. Things that happened with him that I didn't think about the drugs causing have now come to our attention as being drug related. Wow it is all so clear now how lost he really was.we are getting better but the hell we have been through has been hard.now that we know the truth and have been talking with others about the drugs we are finding more people that the same kind of thing happens to lots of people.

#40 btdt

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Posted 29 October 2014 - 08:31 PM

It is common but I am surprised your finding others who have had this experience too in real life maybe invite them here.  There may be other places there use to be a few but they were shut down.  There are private messages from people from the old site to me and I hope they start talking on this thread soon they too are struggling to put their lives back together.  Maybe in time they will find their way here.  I have suggested old posters from topix come here but few have and the effexor activist site is completely closed now that leaves this one and a few others look for withdrawal websites if you want more contact maybe you will find some. 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#41 btdt

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Posted 29 October 2014 - 08:45 PM

you may find the odd person here 

http://www.topix.com...QN38BPQUNLP/p36

if you think they have something you would like to talk about reply to one of their posts they may answer you.  


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#42 Ramsnic

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Posted 02 November 2014 - 03:45 AM

I can't live with it.
I wake up everyday slowly withdrawing from this poisen with the reality of what have done.
While they all live their lives I lay here. My heart broken, my heads saying end it all.
They don't need me anymore. Hang yourself.
I know it would kill them but I can't stop that's thoughts. Just want the pain to stop.
I cannot believe how horrific my actions were.
How could I crucify the ones I loved.
How could I walk out on my husband and watch him shatter feeling nothing. I am not that person.
I wish I hadade these decisions myself as I could live with that. But to wake from the drug fuelled hell and see the pain I caused. I cannot stand it.

They were my family. They said they couldn't get me off the tablet. They knew it wasn't me. But they left me in the end. I wouldn't have left them.
If thru knew it wasn't me snd it was the change in my personality why didn't they take the drug off me.
I know it's unfair as they say they couldn't be sure if it was me or the tablet.
There going out for tea tonight. My family minus me.

I'm scared of dying. Scared God is mad with me.
But I can't face this no more.
Taking tiny bits less of Effexor each day. Praying the withdrawal will get better. Praying the pain will ease. Knowing if I take it he pain will go but who do I become.

Please God give me strength.
Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14
7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

#43 btdt

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Posted 02 November 2014 - 04:34 AM

I can't live with it.
I wake up everyday slowly withdrawing from this poisen with the reality of what have done.
While they all live their lives I lay here. My heart broken, my heads saying end it all.
They don't need me anymore. Hang yourself.
I know it would kill them but I can't stop that's thoughts. Just want the pain to stop.
I cannot believe how horrific my actions were.
How could I crucify the ones I loved.
How could I walk out on my husband and watch him shatter feeling nothing. I am not that person.
I wish I hadade these decisions myself as I could live with that. But to wake from the drug fuelled hell and see the pain I caused. I cannot stand it.

They were my family. They said they couldn't get me off the tablet. They knew it wasn't me. But they left me in the end. I wouldn't have left them.
If thru knew it wasn't me snd it was the change in my personality why didn't they take the drug off me.
I know it's unfair as they say they couldn't be sure if it was me or the tablet.
There going out for tea tonight. My family minus me.

I'm scared of dying. Scared God is mad with me.
But I can't face this no more.
Taking tiny bits less of Effexor each day. Praying the withdrawal will get better. Praying the pain will ease. Knowing if I take it he pain will go but who do I become.

Please God give me strength.

If you are tapering taking a bit less everyday... I hope you are doing it the right way.  As a too fast taper can cause big problems you don't need. 

Please go to this link:

http://survivinganti...um/14-tapering/

 

It may be the most important thing you ever read on the internet. I am serious. Go there and read how to taper properly with not only the least pain and suffering but the least trauma to your brain.  I wish I had known this before I quit.  It can make a huge difference in the outcome of your life. 

 

I know exactly where you are now as I have been there too.  Waking up in the middle of the nightmare and learning it is not a dream at all.  I can actually recall hoping it was a dream thinking it had to be as there was no way it could be otherwise I would never do those things.  However it was all true. As far as family yes they sometimes get it but can't make you do anything sometimes they don't know what is really wrong with you.  When there are doctors saying you need the pills and you think you need them too... that is an uphill battle for any family unless you break the law and happen to get the attention of Breggin or one of the few doctors who know this is all real. 

At one point when I was in the thick of it my sister wrote me a letter. Which some how survived the next few years and I found it... felt like I had never seen it before if I had I have no memory of it. 

I was going to copy it hear for you but it is now missing.  It was interesting as to how tuned in she was and how it looked from her side.... sad it is gone if I find it I will post it.  I have kept it in a picture of hers for years now am sad it is gone.  No idea where it could be and small things mean a lot to me now so you know I will be looking for it. 

The healing process is painful there are few  places you can go and talk about this where anyone will believe you this is one just now the only one I know.  

I know what you say is true as what other motivator could there be for sharing such things on an internet site such as this.  More importantly I have lived through it I know how it messes not only with your head but your heart too.  

I have not had a miraculous recovery... I wish I had I wish I could say all will come up roses and your brain will be brain new your body will forgive all... I can't.  I can say that after going thru cold turkey and a lot of suffering I am better than I was.  I have had times my body and brain are functional and well.  Are they as good as before drugs "no" they are not.  There have been times I have been relatively well and relatively happy. 

I think the decision to heal is made not once but repeatedly during this process... as it is so intense we o5ften need an out and suicide is a good one for letting of steam... for me it often was getting a break by knowing it would soon be over and the break was enough so far to keep me here.  There have been other times when I was in a withdrawal state it could have happened and being able to identify the difference is a bit of an art that comes with experience I think.  For a long time I felt completely alien in my own body in my own mind... taking time to step back and look at the system you live in is a good thing to do when you able.  Before your able to do this just hang on and come here and talk... it out if you need to.  The self care section offers things to try.  

As nobody else seems to be there in your life to say this to you... I will say it as I think it invaluable.

The drugs changed you it is not only possible it is real.  Doctors don't know us well enough to see it and let it go on indefinitely it is a sad commentary on the state of psychiatry. I will bet this happens a lot more than we know I wonder where the rest of the people are the ones who really destroyed their lives while drugs who were changes so much they don't recognize themselves or the place they woke up.  Where are they... I can't say.  I suspect some do die and I hope your not one of them.  I suspect others have this personality change but were somehow blessed and got out before the new life consumed them... somehow I can't imagine how. Some I am sure never attribute the changes they made to the drugs and went on living however they are changed and drugged forever... even as I say this I wonder if it is possible... could a body take this for a life time my body couldn't take it.  I wonder if I had stuck with the doctors what my drug and dx would be at this point .  It is anybodies guess...

I really don't know I am just guessing at this last section.  

This is what I know.  

There are some people who realize what is going on while drugged and they get off the drug... not many of this type in my experience.  It has usually been an outside person who has said you need to get off the drug. A few of these types have been to sites like this and learned the personality changes can happen when taking these drugs... that gives them the confidence to start the conversation.  Often a significant other or other close person. Mostly  the drug user does not agree and does not stop the medication.  Often if they give it a chance as a possible they try to quit the drug too quickly using a taper their doc suggests or cold turkey....both are so painful the user thinks they need the drug forever. 

 

Then there are a few who have made it out both well because they found out in time what the drugs can do how to get safely off the drugs and the SO believes the drug caused the problems.  There are increasingly larger numbers of these people I like to think I am part of that and do feel I have done something in these past several years that is worth doing.  

 

It is not easy but healing can take place. 

 

I am now curious about you.  

Do you have any supportive people in your life now?  What are your living arrangements?  How do you survive financially?  I ask because I know these are the first major problems for people when they are trying to heal.  If you post there may be ideas other have used that could help you get thru this time.

I so wish you peace.


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#44 Ramsnic

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Posted 03 November 2014 - 12:55 PM

Thank you so much for yesterday.
It was a really bad day.
It was very close but somehow I'm still here.
Surprisingly today is good!!
I've managed to clean the house.
I live with my teenage daughter.
I work full time but jhabe taken 4 weeks sick leave. I'm scared is lose my job and my home but
Today I feel less panicked. What will be will be I guess.
I really appreciated your message yesterday.
I'm scared it will happen again. But for now I'm ok.
I'm down to 6mg. Tapered very slowly but faster this last bit. Feel like I'm prolonging the pain.
I don't have side effects other than my mood plummeting occasionally. I spend my dats laid on bed reading. No energy. No get up and go.
Thank you again. X
Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14
7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

#45 mylifeisback

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Posted 04 November 2014 - 06:17 PM

This is something that is hard to believe and understand, not only for the drugged but also their family and everyone else that is involved in the life of the drugged person. I will try and get some of my story and understanding of this mess in words. When I was struck by the facts of what my drugged husband had been doing I was blown away, it hit me lije a brick wall. My husband going to strip clubs, drinking ,prostitution, spending crazy amounts of money, drugs, lies and lots of other crazy actions he treated our children terrible and me also. But never did I emagin my husband doing that kind of stuff this went on for 8 months and I had no idea he was doing it. I have the question of why did I not see it? I blame myself to an extent because as his wife I should have known. When I found out some of what he was doing I prayed a lot and then I discovered a women named Meredith on paxil progres, Meretdiths story was just like mine. Then I found Dr.Peter Breggin. I had so much put on me that I totally went crazy, my husband had no remorse, no care nothing at all he was telling me so what I cheated, she is my friend, it was just something to do and on and on with crazy excuses. This is hard for loved ones to process. Like with me I think why did he not love me enough not to hurt me so bad? Its just hard to understand but I have come to the conclusion that his love had nothing to do with it, he had no feelings for anything. How he ended up where he was I do not think we will ever know. So I guess what I am trying to say is, this stuff is so crazy that people do not understand, it is so way out their from normal that its hard to process so family just gives up sometimes because the understanding ia not their. My husband and I are lucky that I searched till I found the answers. Am I ok with all of it? No far from it but I work at it daily.I will post this and then talk about him.

#46 mylifeisback

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Posted 04 November 2014 - 06:29 PM

Now getting to him, he is far from normal he has had withdraw for the past 2 years. Right now if he gets upset his throat closes up and he cant breath , nightmares keep him awake at night. After two years the remorse is still getting worse and he does everything in his power to help me get over this. He tries to understand but has no memories of the drugged times, he hates the stuff he was doing and has told me many times that if it all doesn't get better soon he may end it. We have v truly been thru hell. But to understand all of this is not easy. It has to be taken one day at a time minute by minute. With time we heal will it be 100% I do not know.

#47 Ramsnic

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Posted 04 November 2014 - 11:34 PM

I am where your husband is. Everyday is a challenge.
How did you convince him to stop the medication though!?
My family gave up on me. I've only found my way here because the medication was causing me side effects snd memory loss. So I reduced. When I got to 15mg I started to realise something was wrong. I started to look at what I'd done and I knew it wasn't me.
But I was on it 7 years and after all this time my husband has moved on. My children have all had to adapt.

I feel so sorry for you. I know some if the pain my family suffered. I dare not think too much off it as it really affects my mood and at the moment I'm holding on.
I feel so sorry for your husband. He had no idea and will suffer terrible guilt. As my previous post shows, taking my life is something I'm struggling with. Living with this horrific experience. I had my life raped from me. I did things I wouldn't do. I left my husband and broke his heart while having a new relationship. I had no emotion when my husband screamed and cried. My children in tears. I just walked away. Loved into my own place.
Have you ever suggested your husband speak to anyone? Maybe a counsellor or one of these sites!?
I feel the anguish he must be in will eat away at him until he finds a way of healing. My thoughts and prayers are with you both x
God bless you both and your family.
Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14
7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

#48 mylifeisback

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Posted 05 November 2014 - 04:26 AM

My husband figured it out on his own. My dates maybe a little off but around October of 2012 he told me that Something was wrong with him Because he was loosing money on jobs and that maybe it was the Celexa so he said he was going to taper off of it. He said that after he started to taper he than realized what he had been doing and stopped but by than it was to late the damage was done. Even though he qas tapering he still was out of his mind. Strange how loosing money brought his attention to something beibg wrong but all the crazy stuff he was doing did not faze him.I did not get to tell you everything yesterday so I will add it now. My husband wasn't the only one on this crap I was and so was our 16 year old son yeah the doctor had all 3 of us on it. I did not take it that long but when I did I hated my husband. Now here I am telling him I dont love you leave me alone if you want sex get it somewhere else. If he touched me I got out od bed if he tried to look at me naked I would slam the door in his face and I had no time for him. It got to the point one time where I woild not fix him anything to eat I remember one night he went to my son and said "ask your mother to fix you a sandwich and give it to me I am hungry I know if you ask her she will make it for you" thats how bad I was. He says that what I was telling him had nothing to do with the things that he was doing he says that he would have lived with that. He says that he now knows the celexa was why he was doing that stuff. He says he loved me before and after celexa that he has no idea what he felt on it.I knoe that he has aged about 20 years in the past 2 I know that this is killing him slowly. Now our son who should not have been given this crap at 16 took it for a few weeks and than destroyed his best friends truck, why would he do something like that? No one believes us that it was because of an antidepressant he lost all of his friends as their parents decided that my son was a bad person. My son will tell you that the medicine destroyed his life and he only took it for a short time.I can say this about it all "this is truly the worst thing that has happened to our family, to overcome something like this has got to be one of the hardest things a family could go through it rips through us like a tornado leaving destruction and devastation in its path" hold on it will get better. The only reason your husband gave up is not because he didn't love you its because the destruction this stuff does to a person is so harsh that if you do not know what it can do you just give up because their is no reasoning with the drugged. This is not yours or your husbands fault. Hang tight and fight hard to recover. Its hoing to be hard but at this point you have no choice don't let yourself be another victim to this crap.

#49 btdt

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 08:17 AM

Btdt. There is a group on Facebook.
It's called 'Effexor' I know there's others but this one is the main one I read.
Some people commented about this site and the old Topix site. They said they missed you. You helped people so much. Maybe you could have a look at Facebook and these sites.
I know you said before you don't like technology but you are highly thought of and the Facebook groups are in need if you. ;))) xxxx

I think you should tell them where they can find me :) right here and I will be looking forward to reconnecting and hearing updates from the old folks from topix ...and thanks for doing that... I appreciate it. 

peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#50 btdt

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 08:25 AM

I am where your husband is. Everyday is a challenge.
How did you convince him to stop the medication though!?
My family gave up on me. I've only found my way here because the medication was causing me side effects snd memory loss. So I reduced. When I got to 15mg I started to realise something was wrong. I started to look at what I'd done and I knew it wasn't me.
But I was on it 7 years and after all this time my husband has moved on. My children have all had to adapt.

I feel so sorry for you. I know some if the pain my family suffered. I dare not think too much off it as it really affects my mood and at the moment I'm holding on.
I feel so sorry for your husband. He had no idea and will suffer terrible guilt. As my previous post shows, taking my life is something I'm struggling with. Living with this horrific experience. I had my life raped from me. I did things I wouldn't do. I left my husband and broke his heart while having a new relationship. I had no emotion when my husband screamed and cried. My children in tears. I just walked away. Loved into my own place.
Have you ever suggested your husband speak to anyone? Maybe a counsellor or one of these sites!?
I feel the anguish he must be in will eat away at him until he finds a way of healing. My thoughts and prayers are with you both x
God bless you both and your family.

" I dare not think too much off it as it really affects my mood and at the moment I'm holding on"

 

You cannot afford to dwell on this in the early healing stages it will break you and drugs will win don't let that happen.  Time helps heal this somewhat but I know how extremely painful the memories are.  Flooding may happen to where they over take you and you can't shut them down... learning self care and meditation now before it hits is a good idea.  Again later it will get a bit better in the early stages when everything is raw and excruciatingly painful ...TINY BITES!  Learn meditation as a way to help recover from a stint in recovering the memories of times you can't recall... it will come.  If you get flooded by them hand on for dear life and don't give in... trying to stop them or slow them can be managed somewhat but mostly what is up must come down and it is going to land.   Let it as you have no choice... just as you have no choice in this you had no choice in the things done while under the spell of antidepressants... 

Don't believe the lies of it all this is the truth

the weight of it in your normal state is too much protect yourself...

For me this was the closest I ever came to not being alive... and I have been thru hell... this is what damaged me most. Be Safe


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#51 btdt

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 08:44 AM

For me life while drugged was like being a half human or zombie my heart and conscious mind were not engaged some of my executive brain functions were so badly impaired I was really nonfunctional if one were to look at the person I was to the person I became. 

Oddly enough I could still walk and talk to this day it amazes me that I could look ok...or at least human to most people who did not know me well and did not engage me in an intimate way.  It is astounding that a drug can do this to human beings to not know it is what got us trapped and to disengage from all the people who cared about us is a pattern I not only lived but see over and over. 

All the things that made life worth the bother before drugs became troublesome as I no longer could contribute to anything that I once loved as I no longer loved... I no longer felt much of anything but bored and disconnected from everything I previously loved.  Not only that but they bothered me...they were  a problem as I always felt uneasy around them so I disengaged I no longer understood them and I no longer was connected to them. I was free falling but had no sense I was changing I thought it was just a normal transition is life I no longer liked what I once did so headed off to find some things I could relate to. 

I could related to things that once would have me recoil.  

I sought out things and often felt in a dream state of unreality nothing bothered me that use to bother me... nothing comforted me that use to comfort me.  Nothing I found revolting was revolting I was curious to know why... the more I looked the less sense anything made... eventually a type of complete disconnection came a sort of madness.  It came with illness much illness .... still not connection to self. 

 

As you begin to heal a great state of confusion come upon you and many of the things you blacked out start coming back when it comes in huge waves of recalling I call it flooding. There is no rest from it and it can drive a person over the edge... I suggest taking a step back... and following this advice.  Some how you lived thru the living of these events and since you had the strength to survive it you will have the strength to relive it... to recall it.  For a long time I could not control it and just had to endure it... sometimes writing it down will put some distance between you and recovered memories... it may help. 

 

To keep yourself strong for this en-devour I suggest you get some tools from the self care section of this site and learn to use them as best you can as they will help sustain you while you go thru the process. This seems to hit when your least able to deal with it as it comes when your in a deep state of negativity... know this it is important to know that both will get better in time. 

 

I would like to say this ends but so far for me it has not ended it.  It has slowed I have become better at dealing with it.  I am hoping one day it will be over.  I now believe the drugs were the reason so the guilt and my understanding helps.  

I wish I could transfuse all folks with the problem with the knowing I have but I can't.  

I wish you peace... it gets better in time.  


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#52 mylifeisback

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 12:28 PM

btdt, I am so worried about my husband he came to my job today and told me that he broke down crying with one of his employees at work and he said that his head keeps telling him over and over to kill himself he was also telling me his funeral arrangements. I called ans made him a doctor's appt and he is their now.I so wanted to go with him but my job would not allow for me too. I do not know how to help him. I assured him that I love him and I am here for him.it is about 20 - 24 months off of celexa now. What can I do?

#53 Ramsnic

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 12:40 PM

Just love him, reassure him it wasn't him, tell him no matter what he has done it makes no difference. It wasn't him. It was the drug.
Reassurance, understanding and no questions about the times. He's flooding with the memories.
He's gonna be close to throwing in the towel. Reassure him tomorrow will be better. DONT LET THE DOCTOR GIVE HIM MEDS!!!!
Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14
7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

#54 mylifeisback

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:01 PM

Doc wants him in the hospital and he refused. He claims he has no memories it feels like its the end if the world. He cant function to do every day activities.

#55 mylifeisback

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:07 PM

He claims no memories but maybe their is and he doesn't want me to know, maybe he doesn't want me to hurt because it almost killed me.oh how can this happen? You never know how much you love someone until tragedy happens.

#56 btdt

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Posted 07 November 2014 - 09:05 AM

If he says he has no memories maybe he doesn't.  If he has them and can't trust you to share them or he can't bare to even bring up the subject as it makes him ill and crazy... then there will be no forcing him anyway.  It is painful to have and more painful to share. 

If a person would rather die than have you hurt by what he has done I think that is quite enough proof this is not something he would plan to ever do or ever tell you or ever have to remember. It is a type of pain that is all consuming. 

If he has no memory he may well be at a place where he has entered into a state of severe negativity... many on here do get to that place for me it hit around 18 months. It lasted a long time. 

I think now is the time to seek out the self care section and seek support from other people at this stage. 

It may be that time off would help but really I don't know the man some people are better working. 

Self care is about bringing some calm and quiet to the mind and body it is not about healing it all at once it does not work that way.  Calm and quiet allow the body brain to stand the healing process. 

Relaxation... meditation ...baths ... so many things are there in that section of support on this forum please take a look. 

 

Not everything is helped by talking some times just being with a person and letting them know your with them thru thick and thin is more important... have a bath take a nap... look at changes that could be made to relieve stress. 

He can't help this he can't stop it... he has to endure it.. how can you make it easier for him?  

He likely won't know any ways of helping himself and if he is not a reader the ideas may have to come from you... if you want to help.  Read the self help section. 

 

Year 3 should be better... 

wishing you peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#57 btdt

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Posted 07 November 2014 - 09:06 AM

I am not completely against drugs sometimes they are needed... but they are always a last resort and I don't know enough about it to tell you anything you would have to talk to Alto.... epson salt baths ... walking in nature were the first two things I did that helped me.  maybe try that if he will

peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#58 btdt

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Posted 08 November 2014 - 06:20 AM

I read about people being low who suffer depression and it's never tested as anti depressants are given.
I insisted they test me and they rang tonight up say I needed D vitamin and folic acid.
I sat and cried. I feel like they poisoned me with Effexor and it may have just been vitamin deficiencies. I feel so annoyed. I've cried so much tonight. My daughter said her dad doesn't care snd he's moved on. I feel like it's all pointless.
I am in still in the process of replying to your last messages. I think you are a really good person. You speak with such insight. You are the only person I speak with that gets this. I'm grateful for your insight. I pray God looks after you as you are to me a life saver.
Every time I read your posts I know you get it. You have experienced this and know where I am at. I don't feel suicidal today I just feel lost. I'm not sure where to go now. I think I would like to take a holiday. Walk on a beach and breath in the air. My life is finished here but I know I have to find new purpose. I just need to be well enough to do that.
When you said you no longer connect with people from your past I really get that. It's like it's all changed. I want to feel happy again one day. I want to find a purpose.
As for Facebook I told them where to find you. I wonder if they look on the family section though.
It's a shame this thread isn't in the main page.
God bless you and keep you safe. You were sent here to share your experience snd I know it saved me. I know your road is still rocky and I hope I can offer you the support one day they you offer others. God bless.

Take it easy.  Rest and much as you can keep you system stable or get it stable as much as you can.  Ease into everything try not to make any changes that will jolt your mind or body...easy is the way to heal this.  It takes a long time. 

I hope you find distraction since it will take a long time to get better so what do you like to do while you heal?  What calms your mind?  Do those things any sort of thing that enhances your health would be a step in the right direction caring for you diet... cooking fresh food ect.  

If you have money for a holiday and can tolerate travel do it if you want. 

Time is going to be your friend in healing it will take time be gentle and kind with yourself self love is a big deal when healing this now that you know the truth mustering up some love for yourself should be a bit easier... do it.  Your not to blame for all this crap and just because others don't get it is no reason for you to not get it and treat yourself accordingly.  The better you think of and treat yourself the better you will feel and other people will eventually pick up on it.  There are bound to be some who want to pushin you for preceived wrong doing you know what... avoid them like the plague not only are they wrong!!! they offer nothing to your healing path... avoid for now. 

 

Thank you for all your kind words I know how lonely this place can be...but your not alone anymore.  I know it others do too... lets hope they find us but if not well a few is better then none :) 

I wish you peace. 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#59 btdt

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Posted 08 November 2014 - 06:36 AM

There is a book Medication Madness by Peter Breggin.  

I have never read this book of all the books I have read about these drugs I missed this one. I was told by somebody on SA about it and have it now.  It does discuss changes people have while on these drugs and most are very bad newpaper type stories of murder ect.  I find it very difficult to read I am not sure if that is because I am recovering from a bug or if I can't tolerate being this close to the evil these drug have caused.  

It is out there and if your going to try and read it be careful it is rough book for me so far... again it could be because I have been sick I have read the horror stories before I just can't seem to stomach it now.  Maybe because the drug affects are missing and I feel the pain and confusion of these people and those who loved them.  Also there is a tiny bit inside me that believes I could be one of those people in the book... the newpaper people... a horror story.  I was not, not in the newspaper way but It was a horror story to me.  It is too close to home I don't know if I will be able to read this book it may be one of the books I take a pass on. 

 

If however you are still trying to convince somebody sending the book may be a decent idea.  I no longer care enough to bother but if anyone else cares it is out there.  

peace all


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#60 btdt

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Posted 08 November 2014 - 06:50 AM

Spellbingding by medications Dr Breggin (this is a term he has developed and it has another name that escapes me now) 

Four aspects:

Mental condition deteriorates without patient appreciating it.

No idea the psychiatric drug had anything to do with what was happening

Although getting worse patient at times thought he was doing better than ever especially when he became euphoric and went on spending sprees. 

Ultimately, he developed compulsive destructive behaviors that took over and ruined his life.  

 

Terms involuntary intoxication as he had not expectation the drug would intoxicate his mind. 

 

Drug induced psychiatric disorder has been listed in the DSM since 2000

Stubstance Induced mood disorder is an official diagnosis (292.84) in the American Psychiatric Associations manual. 

"This is a genuine central nervous system neurological disorder caused by drug-induced disruption of the neurotransmitter systems. " from the book

peace 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#61 mylifeisback

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Posted 09 November 2014 - 07:37 PM

Just an update on my husband, he is not well. I have been watching him closely, he was fine this afternoon. While I was cooking supper he was watching television, I heard something on thr news that he was watching and as soon as it was said he changed the channel. It was only a minute and he was in the kitchen asking for me to hold him, hr then said "I am having those feelings again." He is now in bed early this evening. This is harder on him now than it ever has. He has said a few times that he is excited about Thanksgiving and I know its because all of the children will be home.I have noticed that he talks to them a lot when they call.he has lost 7 years of their lives because of antidepressants. Yes btdt it is hard to read about the terrible things that have happened to others while on this stuff. We are here and alive others are not so lucky.Thus is a very heart breaking issue this happens to people without any mercy.

#62 Ramsnic

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Posted 10 November 2014 - 12:17 AM

Please tell him he is not alone. Tell him it's not his fault. Tell him to try forgive himself and accept what he's done. He still has the love of his family.
I wish I could speak to him. I wish I could reassure him it's gonna get better. It will ease. The pain will ease and the memories become easier. I know myself this is not an easy process.
Has he started taking vitamin supplements and reduce his sugar intake. He needs to eat healthy and try look after himself so help him heal.
I know he's having bad thoughts and this will only improve if he's feeding his brain with the goodness it needs. I had blood tests and take vitamin supplements. I know it's not a quick fix but it's a start.
Has he read about others and their experiences. Maybe he will feel less alone.

This link helped me. It explains a lot about the drug and the effects.

http://www.willhall....de2Edonline.pdf

Maybe you could print it off for him.
I've ordered the books Bdtd suggests above.
I've joined an Effexor support group on Facebook but not everyone has has the horric experiences we have but it helps to know others understand.
I get scared and the thoughts of ending mylife are horrific. I can only guess he is suffering the same.
If he wants to talk I'm happy to listen. Maybe because we have lost do much to it will help him.
Men find it harder to talk. He is blessed to still have you. Praying he stays strong. God bless you all. Btdt I hope you are feeling better today. I've been in bed for days. I've ordered Dr Breggins books and a recovery book. God bless you all x
Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14
7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

#63 btdt

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Posted 10 November 2014 - 07:14 PM

http://survivinganti...me-your-people/

 

it helps to have support

peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#64 mylifeisback

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Posted 11 November 2014 - 05:51 AM

a dear friend of mines husband went to the hospital with pain in his arm the Dr put him on xanax, celexa and hydrocodone he has not been off of the couch in 3 days. I tried to get them to understand what these drugs are capable of.my friend understands but her husband refuses. The doctor told them that the hydrocodone and xanax will not work without the celexa. And then people wonder why the world is so crazy.

#65 btdt

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Posted 11 November 2014 - 06:36 AM

People here now would think the doctor is mad...but Ads are often given to treat pain.  Pain was the reason I was given my first Ad.  

If I were his wife I would be taking him back to the hosp for a second opinion not stopping till the cause of the pain was known and the cause treated. 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#66 MissingMySoul

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Posted 26 December 2014 - 10:04 AM

It is so hard being on these pills or being the spouse of somebody on these pills.  When it comes to anti-depressants I have no faith in doctors anymore.  My husband was put on them for reasons he didn't need, was never checked in on, I was not checked in on and we were not told of the severity of some of the side effects.  The severity of them took its toll on us from 2011 to 2013.  We are lucky in the sense that it took my husband a relatively short period of time being on them and then coming off of them before he returned to the man I loved.

 

In the end it was due to his insulin being switched (for any diabetics out there, if you read about Lantus it can cause symptoms similar to panic attacks and that will lead doctors to put you on anti-depressants) that caused it all to happen.  No doctor ever figured this out for us either, I did so much research over two years and we asked for things to be changed, prescriptions to be changed, tests to be done to try to get to the bottom of everything.

Sleep apnea and a change in his insulin is what appears to have almost destroyed our lives, and did destroy it for a while.

 

For those of you fighting through, keep fighting.  It is the hardest thing to do but there are good stories of spouses returning to the person you know and love.  The hard part is not knowing how long it will take.

My husband has been off the pills since July 2013 (having started one form of AD's or another in November 2011) and it took until about March or April of this year for all the doubts and mind games to go away.  Up until that point he still got spurts of feelings disappearing for me one day, of the brain zaps, of the confusion at his life....but they finally disappeared and even in that time he was so much closer to the man I had always known.

 

It is a hard fight but it is so important and I think we know so much more than the doctor's when it comes to these pills and what can happen and it is our responsibility to show them and teach them the epidemic these pills are causing so many people. 

There are the small few that need them, 100%, but at this point from the people I know, what I have read and researched, it seems like 90 to 95% of people are put on them for the wrong reasons, do not need them at all or are put on them long term as opposed to a few months while figuring out how to address or fix the issue at hand, and due to this so many families are put at risk unnecessarily.



#67 LesPaul1959

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 10:22 AM

Hi all. 

 

I hope no one minds me posting on here. I was sent a link to this thread by another member. After reading it I see similar lines of life to others while other lines differ. 

 

Things started to change for me in 2009 with the birth of my son. When being honest I don't think our bind was a quick one. I was fully involved in all aspects of his life but it wasn't until later that I felt like a father to him. I know for this I am no the only one and that this is common. I feel I missed a little by not feeling what I wanted to or was expected to but I tried and was there. For me that is enough, enough that I tried and did my best. 

 

I was ill over Christmas as was my Mum, Dad, Sister in-law and a few others. My Mum never regained her appetite. My wife was diagnosed with post natal depression and too citalopram for it. My Mum was taken into hospital a few months later with stomach pains. It turned out to be a cyst totalling 28cm that they found and removed. My wife was away on holiday for a week seeing her parents (they live around 400 miles away) with our son. I suddenly found it hard to sleep. my head would hit the pillow and as soon as I started to relax a rush or adrenalin would come over me. Almost like that moment right before you go over the top on a rollercoster. From my wifes experience I went to the Dr who said it was probably depression. It was true since my son had been born I'd slowly become more emotional. I was prescribed Sertraline. 

 

The Sertraline helped with my relaxing. I felt less anxious and was able to get to sleep again. I also started doing more with my son, not that I ever didn't but I started bonding more. Later in the year my Mum and Dad went on a cruise in the summer. My Mum took ill and got taken to an Italian (I think) hospital. My Dad stayed with her giving me updates daily on her condition. After 2 weeks she was brought back home to the local hospital. They gave her a hysterectomy. They said what they removed had shown signs of cancer, but later tests showed no cancer signs. She was discharged. It was only a little while after this (maybe 4 weeks max) that she again had stomach pains as was taken in for tests. It was maybe a week or 2 and they discovered she had cancer. She was discharged and made it out for my 30th birthday. Shortly after this she went back in for treatment. That lasted a week before they said that they would not continue treatment and it was terminal. She lasted another week before passing. She was 63.

 

All of this happened right before my sons 1st birthday. To top it all off me and my wife were trying to buy a house at the time. We finally did it 2 months later and moved in in Jan '11 while remortgaging our current flat to rent out. It was a stressful time and at some point during that I'm sure I was put up to 100mg from 50mg of Sertraline. 

 

I tried coming off Sertraline and went back on after the side affects. Again in October 2012 I did it again and felt really depressed. I must say that this is the first time I ever felt depressed. All I wanted to do is be with my wife and curl up on the sofa. Watching episodes of How I met your Mother with my wife until my meds kicked in over the weeks is what got me through it. My Doc Started me on 50mg, to 100mg then to a new amount of 150mg. I have never been on 150mg before. 

 

You can see from my sig below what my history has been since then. I tried coming off it in Feb '13 by coming down 50mg a month. I really didn't react well to this. I tried becoming vegetarian to help cleanse as I came off the tablets. I was down to 50mg when we had a gig one night (I play bass). We went for a bite to eat but I didn't like what I got so I never ate it. I had quite a bit to drink at the gig too, something that I rarely do is drink so that, the coming off the meds and the lack of food made it hit me fast and hard. I remember thinking that it was almost like old times, playing a gig, having a drink etc... I started looking around and saw there were a lot of good looking women around and wondered what it would be like to be single again. I started picturing it, what I'd say, how it'd go etc... I had no intention of actually doing anything but the next day (with the hangover) I felt really bad about those thoughts.

 

I managed to come off Sertraline a month or so after the above. Around 4 weeks later I was in hell. I felt a lack of energy, really didn't want to do anything, places where there were a lot of people really made me feel anxious. W also had to go on holiday to Lego land. That was something I had arranged because of my and my sons love for it, I couldn't enjoy myself at all. I had thoughts like others have had on here about my partner. That I didn't love her, she wasn't attractive to me anymore. I kept looking at other women and thinking I'd be better off with them. I didn't want to feel like this or think these thoughts but I did. I did talk to my wife. I told her she had put on a lot of weight and I thought that might be a trigger or issue. She made me go to the Dr again. My Dr prescribed Duloxetine at 30mg.

 

After 2 weeks on Duloxetine I started to feel better but not 100%. I told the Dr I didn't want to go onto a higher dose as I felt I could function on this dose. I'd rather feel stressed when stressed and cope than have stress but not feel stressed. All was fine even when my in-laws came to stay for a week (normally a stress for me as I lose my man cave room to them). In Dec this year it was my wifes birthday. I was attentive as I wanted to be that, I made her favourite meal, got her a birthday cake, lovely present, all because I loved her and wanted to do that for her. Mid Dec and her parents come to stay again. Halfway through I start to breakdown again and have the same thoughts like I did prior. We'd had an argument about her snoring, something that's been going on for years (since 2008 but more so since she'd had our son). It is bad, to the point where I regularly have to sleep in the spare room.

 

I thought about leaving my wife, planned how I was going to do it. Imagined what it would be like to meet someone else. I felt un-attracted to her due to her weight gain. My life doesn't feel like it's gone anywhere, I feel trapped and that I've wasted my life. I thought about ending it all, I truly did. Even thought about how I would end it so it didn't look like I'd done it myself as I'd want my wife and son to be taken care of financially.

 

At this point my wife and friend both stepped in. Got me to a Dr who told me to go up to 60mg Duloxetine. After 2 weeks there was no difference. I was upset as I couldn't feel happy at Christmas, I had missed out on something happy that I'd been looking forward to. I stopped taking the Duloxetine and went back to the Dr but got a different one who put me on Sertraline again. The day I was supposed to take it I went back to my Dr who said not to take the Sertraline but prescribed me 30mg mirtazapine. I've been taking this for 4 days (today is the 5th) and I still feel like I'm in hell. I don;t want to have these thoughts about my wife, I want to love her. I'm scared that these thoughts are real and that I don't love her anymore. I broke down yesterday and called NHS 24 who have agreed I need more than just meds and sent an email to my Dr and told me to make an apt with my Dr to discuss this. I have started to get short tempered and irritable since taking these. My sleep was not great prior to taken them and has not improved like I was told it would.

 

During all of this out sex life has suffered. Especially in the last 6 months. That has put a strain on both of us as we were pretty active before. 

 

I just wanted everyone to know what I'd gone through that's brought me here. Should I stop the meds? Do you think continuing mirtazapine is the right thing to do? Any advice not matter how small would be honestly greatly appreciated. 

 

Thanks, LesPaul1959


2013: Nov 50mg Sertraline, Dec 100mg Sertraline

2014: Jan 150mg Sertraline, Mar 100mg Sertraline, April 50mg Sertraline, May 50mg Sertraline every other day, Jun stopped, Mid July 50mg Sertraline, End July 30mg Duloxetine, Dec 60mg Duloxetine

2015: Jan 30mg mirtazapine


#68 Ramsnic

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 02:42 PM

Les Paul 1959.

Please get off the medication. It is making you worse than the original problem.
While you are in these drugs you cannot see what they are doing to you and how they impact decisions you make.

I am 2 months off them. I take vitamins and I no longer eat wheat sugar or dairy.
I have always eaten junk processed food. I read how the chemicals affect the mind and how sugar and wheat are known to affect depression.
I feel a thousand times healthier and no depression. For yourself and your family please stop these tablets. Be careful to stop slowely if you get any withdrawal symptoms.
The doctors have no idea what these medications do to our minds and how they alter our personalities. They stop us feeling love and then we crave excitement which doesn't last.
One day you manage to stop the tablets and the reality if what you've done is too much to bear.
If you want a list if the vitamins I take let me know. It's quite a list but I'm alive and living for the first time in years!!
Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14
7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

#69 cymbaltawithdrawal5600

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 05:23 AM

Ramsnic,

 

LesPaul1959 has started a topic for himself in the Introductions and Updates forum here. You may want to visit him there. We do not generally recommend a 'list of vitamins' to anyone but you are welcome to share with him in his topic about your journey. Many people, whether they are in withdrawal or not, react in unexpected ways to vitamins and supplements.

 

Anyone else reading LP1959's note above can communicate with him in his thread.


What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivinganti...ion/#entry50878

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

#70 dewayne76

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 06:43 AM

I was advised to post my synopsis here as well. 

I'm Dewayne, I was married for 7 years, and together for a total of 11 years, almost 12. 5 year old daughter. 8 Years older than the wife (ex) and we had already hit the big "bump" in the marriage. Was my fault, I changed. I fought, scratched and clawed to become the better man, husband and father. The last 6 years of our marriage was damn near perfect. We had hit that brick wall a lot of couples don't get over, and we didn't scale it together, we busted that sumbitch down and laughed as we walked across it. We were THAT couple again, for 6 years... until the last 5 months. Here's the rundown...

Both had good jobs but we dreamed big. Started a business in 2012 and put everything we had into it. Sold the cars, house, land etc and invested into this business. We were happy moving forward with all the plans of building etc. Life was good. The wife had always had some sort of chest pains, (her ribcage is a bit deformed, always assumed it was because of that as one dr. had said) So she goes to a gen. pract... a Christian Health Clinic. (Cheap clinic, $15 office visit) one day for chest pains. They didn't send her to get her hearth checked out or anything... just prescribed 20mg of Citalopram and kicked her out the door. Said it was "Work Anxiety" because we were starting a new business. She was NOT depressed. I always went with my wife to the Dr. and no there was no chance of her being depressed w/o my knowing and etc. 

June 17, 2012: First pill. 
August; about middle of August she got very tired and easily aggravated. 
Sept, towards end of month: Suddenly outgoing, very flirty and unprofessional with the help. During this time she had started to "hot rod" our Hearse for the business. Not the 67 Camaro SS we had, but the HEARSE... showing out for the help. VERY unlike her. 
Also during September she became less interactive with me and more interactive with the help. Her life became more about the "help", aka our new friends helping with the haunted house (business) and less about work!
Oct. 1st: Suspected cheating on me. 
Oct. 3rd weekend: Caught her out at a party. She locked our then 2 yo daughter in our bedroom, home alone and walked 2 blocks down where she was picked up. When I found her at the guys house (volunteer at the haunt) she was drunk and got high. She despised both drinking and drugs. She was in a room with the guy she had cheated on me with. He was naked and passed out with a pillow on his crotch. Her in her fuzzy boxer shorts and tank top, pants and shirt in floor. She still tried to deny it. 
Oct. 31: Filed for Divorce. Not able to cite any good reasons why. Just said "I just don't feel the way I used to anymore"
Nov. 3rd, I left to stay with a friend for separation. 
Nov. 8th/ish, I went back to get the rest of my stuff, (illegal) foreclosure of building. Lost everything, all our tools, bed suites, new $1,500 fridge, tv's, movie projectors, surround sound... all of it. It was then I realized she hadn't paid ANY of the bills like she said she did. 

Any 'sane' person would've taken her chest of drawers so precious to her that was handed down for generations. She lost it. She didn't care about what we had lost, money or possessions. She acted like a kid. Completely different, complete personality change. From the way she walked, talked, even the way she drank her coffee was different. her laugh... EVERYTHING changed on her. 

During our time of fighting the changes, we didn't know what was going on. One day, in October, she broke down crying. Low on tears but bawled at her behavior, questioning why she did these things and behaving the way she was. She apologized, begged me to not leave her and to stay while we figure out what's wrong. I remember her saying "It's like I have a split personality, and when it happens, I can see things happening but have no control. I'm so scared baby" ... If I'm lying I'm dying... less than 5 minutes later, I literally watched her changed personalities in front of me, we were driving home and suddenly she took her hand off of mine and became hostile, rude and recanted everything she had just said and said "I was just telling you what you wanted to hear. Take me home, I want a divorce"!!!!  NO LESS THAN 5 MINUTES LATER!!

To anyone that's wondering, these drugs DO change your personality! Maybe not in all cases, but I literally watched it happen. Over and over until the new personality 'stuck'. To anyone reading this, one I apologize for so long, I tried to condense it, but got back into "story telling mode", also, no one, NO ONE WILL EVER convince me that SSRI's do not / can not change a person's identity. 

Later on she even admitted she had changed, even drastically. In the beginning of this she denied it was the medicine, but later on agreed it was but said there was nothing she could do. 



#71 btdt

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 06:02 PM

Hi all. 

 

I hope no one minds me posting on here. I was sent a link to this thread by another member. After reading it I see similar lines of life to others while other lines differ. 

 

Things started to change for me in 2009 with the birth of my son. When being honest I don't think our bind was a quick one. I was fully involved in all aspects of his life but it wasn't until later that I felt like a father to him. I know for this I am no the only one and that this is common. I feel I missed a little by not feeling what I wanted to or was expected to but I tried and was there. For me that is enough, enough that I tried and did my best. 

 

I was ill over Christmas as was my Mum, Dad, Sister in-law and a few others. My Mum never regained her appetite. My wife was diagnosed with post natal depression and too citalopram for it. My Mum was taken into hospital a few months later with stomach pains. It turned out to be a cyst totalling 28cm that they found and removed. My wife was away on holiday for a week seeing her parents (they live around 400 miles away) with our son. I suddenly found it hard to sleep. my head would hit the pillow and as soon as I started to relax a rush or adrenalin would come over me. Almost like that moment right before you go over the top on a rollercoster. From my wifes experience I went to the Dr who said it was probably depression. It was true since my son had been born I'd slowly become more emotional. I was prescribed Sertraline. 

 

The Sertraline helped with my relaxing. I felt less anxious and was able to get to sleep again. I also started doing more with my son, not that I ever didn't but I started bonding more. Later in the year my Mum and Dad went on a cruise in the summer. My Mum took ill and got taken to an Italian (I think) hospital. My Dad stayed with her giving me updates daily on her condition. After 2 weeks she was brought back home to the local hospital. They gave her a hysterectomy. They said what they removed had shown signs of cancer, but later tests showed no cancer signs. She was discharged. It was only a little while after this (maybe 4 weeks max) that she again had stomach pains as was taken in for tests. It was maybe a week or 2 and they discovered she had cancer. She was discharged and made it out for my 30th birthday. Shortly after this she went back in for treatment. That lasted a week before they said that they would not continue treatment and it was terminal. She lasted another week before passing. She was 63.

 

All of this happened right before my sons 1st birthday. To top it all off me and my wife were trying to buy a house at the time. We finally did it 2 months later and moved in in Jan '11 while remortgaging our current flat to rent out. It was a stressful time and at some point during that I'm sure I was put up to 100mg from 50mg of Sertraline. 

 

I tried coming off Sertraline and went back on after the side affects. Again in October 2012 I did it again and felt really depressed. I must say that this is the first time I ever felt depressed. All I wanted to do is be with my wife and curl up on the sofa. Watching episodes of How I met your Mother with my wife until my meds kicked in over the weeks is what got me through it. My Doc Started me on 50mg, to 100mg then to a new amount of 150mg. I have never been on 150mg before. 

 

You can see from my sig below what my history has been since then. I tried coming off it in Feb '13 by coming down 50mg a month. I really didn't react well to this. I tried becoming vegetarian to help cleanse as I came off the tablets. I was down to 50mg when we had a gig one night (I play bass). We went for a bite to eat but I didn't like what I got so I never ate it. I had quite a bit to drink at the gig too, something that I rarely do is drink so that, the coming off the meds and the lack of food made it hit me fast and hard. I remember thinking that it was almost like old times, playing a gig, having a drink etc... I started looking around and saw there were a lot of good looking women around and wondered what it would be like to be single again. I started picturing it, what I'd say, how it'd go etc... I had no intention of actually doing anything but the next day (with the hangover) I felt really bad about those thoughts.

 

I managed to come off Sertraline a month or so after the above. Around 4 weeks later I was in hell. I felt a lack of energy, really didn't want to do anything, places where there were a lot of people really made me feel anxious. W also had to go on holiday to Lego land. That was something I had arranged because of my and my sons love for it, I couldn't enjoy myself at all. I had thoughts like others have had on here about my partner. That I didn't love her, she wasn't attractive to me anymore. I kept looking at other women and thinking I'd be better off with them. I didn't want to feel like this or think these thoughts but I did. I did talk to my wife. I told her she had put on a lot of weight and I thought that might be a trigger or issue. She made me go to the Dr again. My Dr prescribed Duloxetine at 30mg.

 

After 2 weeks on Duloxetine I started to feel better but not 100%. I told the Dr I didn't want to go onto a higher dose as I felt I could function on this dose. I'd rather feel stressed when stressed and cope than have stress but not feel stressed. All was fine even when my in-laws came to stay for a week (normally a stress for me as I lose my man cave room to them). In Dec this year it was my wifes birthday. I was attentive as I wanted to be that, I made her favourite meal, got her a birthday cake, lovely present, all because I loved her and wanted to do that for her. Mid Dec and her parents come to stay again. Halfway through I start to breakdown again and have the same thoughts like I did prior. We'd had an argument about her snoring, something that's been going on for years (since 2008 but more so since she'd had our son). It is bad, to the point where I regularly have to sleep in the spare room.

 

I thought about leaving my wife, planned how I was going to do it. Imagined what it would be like to meet someone else. I felt un-attracted to her due to her weight gain. My life doesn't feel like it's gone anywhere, I feel trapped and that I've wasted my life. I thought about ending it all, I truly did. Even thought about how I would end it so it didn't look like I'd done it myself as I'd want my wife and son to be taken care of financially.

 

At this point my wife and friend both stepped in. Got me to a Dr who told me to go up to 60mg Duloxetine. After 2 weeks there was no difference. I was upset as I couldn't feel happy at Christmas, I had missed out on something happy that I'd been looking forward to. I stopped taking the Duloxetine and went back to the Dr but got a different one who put me on Sertraline again. The day I was supposed to take it I went back to my Dr who said not to take the Sertraline but prescribed me 30mg mirtazapine. I've been taking this for 4 days (today is the 5th) and I still feel like I'm in hell. I don;t want to have these thoughts about my wife, I want to love her. I'm scared that these thoughts are real and that I don't love her anymore. I broke down yesterday and called NHS 24 who have agreed I need more than just meds and sent an email to my Dr and told me to make an apt with my Dr to discuss this. I have started to get short tempered and irritable since taking these. My sleep was not great prior to taken them and has not improved like I was told it would.

 

During all of this out sex life has suffered. Especially in the last 6 months. That has put a strain on both of us as we were pretty active before. 

 

I just wanted everyone to know what I'd gone through that's brought me here. Should I stop the meds? Do you think continuing mirtazapine is the right thing to do? Any advice not matter how small would be honestly greatly appreciated. 

 

Thanks, LesPaul1959

I am going to address what I have come to know about the effects of these drugs not only on relationships as in partners but also about how it seems like it all makes sense and how I have rationalized all sorts of things when drugs then looked back later seeing it for what it was a drug reaction. 

I have talked to people who have left their spouses thinking they no longer loved them only to regret it.  There are precise reasons for this described by Helen Fisher if you go back in this thread you will see her video well worth watching.  Others have come to the same conclusion but she puts it in a nutshell rather quickly and easily I would offer it to you spouse if you think it would be helpful.  

I lost a relationship after the first drug... I have not formed any long term romantic partnership type relationship since the first ssri I took which was years ago.  I think this has to do with these drugs.  Not only that but I experienced and talked to others who experienced loss of connection with kids and other close relationships other than spouses. 

I would like to try to explain to you how it all seemed to make sense at the time...so many things seemed to make sense at the time. To me the distance came first I could not feel... attachment lost the bond I felt far away disconnected a bit lost and lonely... in this state I would start to look for reasons I could be feeling this way.  Never in a million years did I think it could be the drugs I was taking never.  Once I started to look for reason they were easy to find never seeing the changes in myself that others were seeing very clearly... although they were cutting me slack all the time because they knew I was struggling I was on meds wasn't I ...they gave me leeway in that leeway... I got completely lost.  Not that I would not have been lost had they not given me some space to be a mess.  

I think this is how it happens at the start... some odd feeling came up to ones like you say this seems interesting to me... for you it was women for me it was men but a strange sort of interest like I had never known before... detached impersonal... sort of deal. Seeking a high is how some explain it.  

Along with all this there was a sort of disconnect from myself too ... a sort of thinking I could not longer do.. I used to be a good problem solver and have a decent life before drugs... after drugs I would try to think thru issues when they would come up... or after in bed.  I vividly recall when things would hit me like they use to... an odd faraway hit and I would try like hell to grab onto it and think it thru ...like trying to catch a wet fish with my bare hands I could not think in that way... I could no longer process things.  That was the only clue to me that I was not working in full consciousness... it was not till years later after I had destroyed my life and had a long time off the drugs that I came to look at the bits of myself that had been shut down when drugged.  Just as Breggin says I will finish what he says after I look it up as I still can't recall details ... and I have been off the drugs for 7 + years..... 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#72 btdt

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Posted 06 January 2015 - 06:19 PM

here is a link to Breggin's thoughts on this

http://breggin.com/s...atric_drugs.pdf

"? The author has previously proposed the brain-disabling principle of psychiatric

treatment that all somatic psychiatric treatments impair the function of the brain and
mind. Intoxication anosognosia (medication spellbinding) is an expression of this druginduced
mental disability. Intoxication anosognosia causes the victim to underestimate
the degree of drug-induced mental impairment, to deny the harmful role that the drug
plays in the person’s altered state, and in many cases compel the individual to mistakenly
believe that he or she is functioning better"
 
I thought I was doing great and quitting my job and becoming a stripper at the age of 44 was a good idea... now looking back that seems about as ridiculous as a thought as anyone could ever possibly have.  As you don't know me you can't know it was a bad idea... in the end I got sick lost my house my money my health.  
I did however learn the truth of the situation and try to stay out of trouble and get/stay well. Yes I knew I had changed I no longer wanted or was interested in any of the things I had worked my entire life to get... yes I knew that... but I also thought I was living as I wanted without interference from those who loved me for the first time in my life I was getting to be me... I actually thought that... I did... now it seems bewildering to me... I have so many regrets too many to even attempt to list.  
Any time I can try to get some person who was like me to understand and think twice I like to give it a shot tho I know it is an uphill battle... people who loved me tried to talk to me but I would not listen to them... would not hear it... I was flying high and had no time or interest in any of them. 
There are other people here some lived it some watched a person they love live it. I am sure if you would like to ask any of them for help they would all try. 
 
It is not easy to convince the emperor he is naked when he feels the clothes next to his skin... I hope that fits I am now doubting it... 
 
I wish you peace I hope you find your path without to many bumps I hope you don't have to wake up to a ton of regrets but if you do we will still be here. 
peace B

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)