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Marriages destroyed by SSRI SNRI - Topix


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#73 Gigi

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Posted 07 January 2015 - 12:55 AM

I have been married 15 years. I'm a Christian lady. After a few years of being on celexa my behavior was shocking even to me . Lying and cheating came with no remorse almost killed my marriage. The details are so humiliating.

2 days into tapering off 4o mg selexa.

#74 btdt

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Posted 26 January 2015 - 05:23 AM

Worth the work to understand this and in it I learned a new word....

clitorectomy is the surgical removal of the clitoris in this case it was chemical not surgical

 

http://survivinganti...gs/#entry123832

 

This title is not just what you think ... by Helen Fisher... 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#75 btdt

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Posted 26 January 2015 - 07:06 AM

ssri change people 

http://survivinganti...-change-people/

 

no ****...


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#76 btdt

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Posted 31 January 2015 - 07:09 PM

For anyone still interested Marriages Destroyed topix can be found on way back here

https://web.archive..../drug/effexor/*

 

it starts on page #9 and goes to page 10 

 

look for this  search it on the pages " 759" all the marriages pages have this number in the link... find 759 

 

sorry there is no way to know what is in the link till you open they are dated if your looking for a certain time frame. 

 

peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#77 btdt

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Posted 01 February 2015 - 09:38 PM

For Dwayne... 

Oxytocin as a possible mediator of SSRI-induced antidepressant effects.
Abstract

The nonapeptide oxytocin is released into systemic circulation in situations of psychosocial interaction, and has been shown to be involved in mechanisms of social bonding and social recognition in laboratory studies. In view of disturbances in psychosocial relationships being a triggering factor for depression and anxiety, it is interesting to note that experimental studies have shown oxytocin to possess antidepressant- and anxiolytic-like actions. Thus. in the present study we examined effects of the SSRI citalopram (20 mg/kg i.p.) on plasma oxytocin, acutely and upon repeated administration, in adult male Sprague-Dawley rats. Plasma oxytocin, and some functionally related peptides (CCK, gastrin, somatostatin and insulin), were measured by standard radioimmunoassay techniques. Acute citalopram administration produced a statistically significant increase in plasma oxytocin and CCK levels. Administration of citalopram for 14 days did not attenuate the oxytocin-releasing effect to a challenge dose of the SSRI zimeldine (20 mg/kg s.c.), whereas CCK levels were not increased after the subchronic citalopram treatment. Thus, the SSRI citalopram produces increased plasma oxytocin levels acutely, and there appears to be no or little tolerance to this effect upon repeated administration. There were no, or variable, effects on plasma levels of gastrin, somatostatin or insulin. It is suggested that oxytocin release is an important aspect of the pharmacological actions of SSRIs, and this could be an important contributory factor for the clinical profile of this group of antidepressants with particular efficacy in disorders of psychosocial origin.


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#78 btdt

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Posted 11 February 2015 - 02:04 PM

http://davidhealy.or...e-hornets-nest/

 

"You are here: Home / Blog / The boy with the ponytail who kicked the hornets’ nest

The boy with the ponytail who kicked the hornets’ nest
January 15, 2013 33 Comments

In The boy with the ponytail who played with fire, we saw Jan Akerblom struggle up the side of a mountain in his attempt to drop the Ring of Power into Mount Doom. Where others, especially doctors, are seduced by the Precious he isn’t.

Why do it – because he saw lives destroyed and wonders if we are at risk of destroying society itself. Are any contracts anyone enters into while on an SSRI valid. Far-fetched?

-   My Wife has Left Me Imagine you are approached by someone who says his wife has been on an SSRI for several years and during this time she has changed personality. Where once she was very sensitive and caring she has become more callous and unfeeling. Where once she would be in floods of tears at a weepy movie, at the funeral of a beloved twin-brother who died in tragic circumstances she didn’t cry at all. He contacts you because now she has left him. He concedes that maybe the marriage was heading for the rocks anyway but he is still concerned that this is not her. That if she ever stops the medication and starts feeling more like herself again she will regret what she has done – if not to him at least to her children. What do you do? There is abundant evidence SSRIs can cause exactly this kind of emotional blunting or disinhibition. The comments by Neil Gorman and Allostrata on The boy with the ponytail give detailed accounts and references. One of the first articles on the topic had a Baltimore society hostess while on fluvoxamine serving her guests wine while naked from the waist up. Its worth thinking for a moment before reading on – if you were the doctor, what do you do? It’s almost impossible to know. Little details can change the picture dramatically. Perhaps he is much older than her and now that she has grown up she has found herself and resents his control and the SSRI disinhibits her just enough to make it possible to do what she might in many respects be better off doing – leaving him. Would it really be better to live a safer life or a life of quiet desperation? If you’re her doctor and he approaches you, what do you do? If you suggest reducing the dose and she insists that no this is the real her and perhaps brings friends along who vouch for the fact she is now doing what they’ve implored her to do for years, what do you do? Perhaps she tells you she will get the drug through the internet if you don’t prescribe. Who are you to decide these important issues for someone else? You’ve had no training in matters like this. Better surely to play Pontius Pilate, continue prescribing, and let events take whatever course they will. Who Cares – about Side Effects? - See more at: http://davidhealy.or...h.ME5WtUUb.dpufSee more at: http://davidhealy.or...h.ME5WtUUb.dpuf

 

 

Is it tricky to see it all laid out in such simple way... you bet it is ...such few words can hold the keys to the horror of a life gone crazy of families destroyed of people who are running hard and fast to death... yes I say death because even if they live their lives will never again be the same... a bit of death hangs over them as they know the truth of it all.. how easy it is to become somebody else... something else not only in thinking but in essence and action... I know.  I wish I did not know but I do I cannot unknow it... that keeps me here... hoping one day maybe we will all wake the **** up and see what is happening to people either use or those we love.

A few word on a page represents so many  injured people... there only words and words are all I have... being the hobbit I am. 

 

I wish you peace I also wish you truth... 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#79 btdt

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Posted 11 February 2015 - 02:23 PM

I am a bit surprised by this comment

 

"Doctor faces Marriage-buster: What should s/he do? | RxISK says:

[…] about an issue covered before – the effects of antidepressants on relationships – see My Wife Has Left Me.  This post had thirty-four follow-up comments which show that this issue gets at the heart of […]

- See more at: http://davidhealy.or....RstahSFt.dpuf"

 

"

 

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bluesmurf
 

 

Jan 22, 2011
 
I have to say that I am really glad that this forum exists. My life went from stressed to over the Sunday before Thanksgiving and there wasn't really a whole lot of warning. She had been taking the SNRI Tramadol for 5 years with increasing doses when she tried to quit. This left her mind racing so she was given Celexa which effectively killed the relationship of 9 years. Had it not been for this forum, I would likely still be mystified and curled up in a little ball or worse. At the last check, she had been off the medication for 14 days. If she continues that, today will be day 16. She still manages to put in the "I don't want to be in a relationship with you" jabs, but she is beginning to talk more like her former self. Whether she wises up and comes back or not, at the very least, I am not sitting around wondering what I did wrong...because, truth be told, I was a great partner. I know that the issues that she is having aren't with me, they are with her psychotic mom and I am just the fall guy. Maybe in time she will learn to deal with her mom and will step back in to reality, but...in the meantime, I have other responsibilities of my own and I am not going to play her game any longer. Not to say that I have given up on her, but I have to take care of myself.

On a separate note, it seems like every week I have friends who have had personal experiences with these types of drugs. None, to my knowledge are currently on drugs, but there is a "past." I have one friend whose dad was on Celexa and it took acupuncture to get him off them. Not even rehab worked for him. Now, 2 years off the drug, he is back with his ex-wife and his daughter says that he is back to his old self like nothing ever happened. Another friend was on them and said that he got tired of everyone saying that he was more of an ass than normal and that is why he got off. He lost most of his friends and his girlfriend, but he said that he did not, in the end, lose love for her. It did take him 3-4 months to get back to his former self. 

I think that long story short, there are 4 outcomes for these meds as regarding the majority of posters: 1) they stay on the meds and they don't love anyone 2) they try to get off the meds but can't creating bipolar-like conditions 3) they get off the meds, but their significant others have moved on 4) they get off the meds and go home. 

Any one of these conditions is likely to cause mental disorder in the offended significant other. Relationships that end quite suddenly are hard and the mental energy required to try to figure the situation out is exhausting at best, frustration at least. Whether these people get off the meds or not, we have to learn that we are worth the effort to take care of ourselves and stand up for ourselves. These medicated people do not feel...period. They are just looking for a "high." Something that proves to them that they are still alive. They don't have the social responsibility pressure and tend to mentally live in fantasy land where they are king/queen and nothing bad will ever happen to them. They want their freedom from their abusive spouse and every slightly negative thing you say or do is magnified a thousand-fold to make even Mary Poppins look like Marylin Manson. You guys, for the most part, it is not you they are reacting too, just their exaggerated, skewed interpretation of you. Be strong and point out the errors in their logic without being mean in the slightest. Show them what they are doing without telling them what you are showing them. They will never believe it is the drugs unless shown otherwise over and over again without anger or contempt.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------from here on down it is me talking... 
I captured one page from awhile back from the wayback machine... of a topix thread as you can see at the top of the page ... 
this was post 1930 of 7,538 posts ... the fact they mention 30 some posts kind of boggles my mind and that the same time I see why the site was closed down even tho the one person who makes a comment of getting their spouse free.... Neil Gorman... used the site to learn and support his spouse... who did get free of the personality changes and the drugs...
this is a huge problem I am very sad to see the site go. 
It did help a lot of people. 

that topix page came from this link

https://web.archive....R28DFD3N759/p96

 

 

I see my previous post with links to other topix post has been edited and not by me... the links are missing


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#80 btdt

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Posted 21 February 2015 - 05:00 PM

So I was having another rough night and ended up looking at cheating memes (pics with funny quotes on them) and wound up looking at those screen shots of funny text conversations.... I found one that was interesting and after digging it seems a mother and daughter (maybe son) were arguing about the mother cheating. I can't seem to get pics to load so I'll paste the conversation and word out the text convo. 

mom: I'm sorry I'm sure I'll end it I'll go to the doctor I think these pills make me not care

daughter: You need to do something, I can't handle this crap

and I found this conversation over that very screen shot. Here's an exerpt:
To me it is blatantly obvious that this all started after starting her medication. I think it is pretty much all over, and just hardly anyone is aware of what's truly going on. 

Wow, no remorse on her part. The fact that she isn't begging you to not tell your dad, let alone she is encouraging it, tells me she really doesn't care. In all fairness, if she is having mental/depression issues along with new medication, she may not be at her best. It also sounds like she is playing the guilt trip on you by saying she will have to move far away if he finds out. Really crappy on her part 

 

 

"Wow, no remorse on her part. The fact that she isn't begging you to not tell your dad, let alone she is encouraging it,"

 

See what happens when you don't talk to me for awhile your forget... how a person is completely changed by these drugs how when your on them you don't have access to your entire brain some of the brain is just shut off from you if it is there and fuctional at all I don't know but when drugged for me I could not access it.. or the part that contained common sense or my heart... does this women sound like she has any common sense or heart... Nope she don't.. and she can't help it now.. when she is off the drug if she heals a different person would emerg dollars to donuts the fact they figured out it was the pill is a small miracle... 

 

I came here to talk about oxytocin there are probiotics that affect it.. so read the next post... 

take good care Dwyane sorry lifes a hitch... 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#81 Bitter

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Posted 23 February 2015 - 02:46 PM

Please someone I need help as I am about to tell my wife I am leaving her...

 

My wife had a really bad case of postpartum depression and was hospitalized for a month in February 2014.  They prescribed Effexor and by the end of April 2014 she was back to normal and life was bliss.  By Sept / Oct of 2014 I started to notice changes in her personality that match what I have been reading in all the posts above.  Exaggerated behaviour, extreme highs and lows, extreme aggression, lack of focus, sketchy personality and mannerisms.  She started smoking cigarettes (half a pack a day) and weed (every 2 hours).  She shoplifts from stores because she gets a high from it and has for some reason gotten into 3 car accidents in the last few weeks.  She has been unfaithful, has had an affair with at least 2 men (from what I know) and has no real remorse or empathy at all.  Ive hacked her phone as there is no trust between us at all and saw all the messages (deleted and undeleted) she has sent to people / guys I dont know, talking about me and our marriage like it doesnt mean anything at all, like Im a joke.  That was the worst part, when I read those messages I knew that this was not the same person or I was conned into marrying a monster.  We've been married for only 2 years. 

 

All her family and friends notice this change and Im at the end of my rope.  I cant trust her with our 1 year old daughter as I am afraid that she will have an episode / tantrum / freak out moment and hurt her.

 

In 48 hours I am about to sit her down and tell her that Im taking our daughter and leaving her.  I have read the posts and am sympathetic for sure but I have to protect myself, my sanity and most importantly my daughter.  I feel like I have been using the information in these posts as a crutch to excuse her for this behaviour but how can a drug make you lose all sight of right and wrong like this?  My main concern is that she didnt start acting like this until she was on the drug for 6 - 7 months.  Usually when you take medication you should start seeing these effects soon after no?

 

I should add that this is her second marriage.  During her first marriage she cheated on her husband as well which caused it to end.  She said she was young and was pressured to marry through family but I just dont know anymore.  Did I marry a monster that was just hiding all this inside all this time?  Or is this another case of Effexor gone bad?  Is it possible for her to start this kind of behaviour after 6 - 7 months of taking the drug?  Am I just fooling myself?

 

Please someone help, I have 2 days to make my decision and I dont want to break up my family and what I thought was the perfect marriage...I thought I was with my soul mate.

 

Bitter



#82 Ramsnic

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Posted 23 February 2015 - 03:27 PM

Bitter,

I feel so much for you. It's horrific what this drug does.
my husband left me and I can't blame him.
But 7 years later when I rbrbtually got off this poison the reality of what is find was horrific and I don't know how I've got through it.
While she is still taking this drug she is not your wife. She's not herself and has no control over her behaviour.
The withdrawal off the drug is horrific so you can't just stop taking it. It's a really slow process and j didn't see reality till I was only on 15mg. It took a very long time to reduce that low. I had to get to 5mg to get off it without withdrawal symptoms.
Her only hope is that you don't give up on her. You must try to get her to reduce. Please do it slow though as its horrific coming off it.
She is drugged. She wouldn't be acting this way.
I pray you can get her off it. X
Effexor Free. Day 1. 25/09/14
7 years and today I can see what I did snd it's hard to live with.

#83 Konjo

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Posted 24 February 2015 - 06:02 AM

Bitter

 

It is horrific. Unfortunately I went through break up and divorce due to my ex Lexapro. 

 

Before your talk you should take care of you bank accounts, belongings, memorable family photos and so on. Change PINs on your cards, move out all valuables from your home etc. I guess you can find lot of  advice how to do it online.

 

 

Like this one:

 

https://askthepsych....ng-a-sociopath/

 

It is about divorcing a person with personality disorder but you can expect a lot of similarities. IMO - my ex was behaving very borderline and psychotic during drug use and months of withdrawal. 

 

Don't blame her. Try to protect yourself and your daughter.



#84 mylifeisback

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Posted 24 February 2015 - 05:55 PM

I have been working hard to recover from my husband being drugged and crazy but its not working all that great. I am still struggling with the terrible things that he did. I still find it hard to believe that a tiny pill can cause a person to cheat on his wife, the one person who he says he loves unconditionally. is thusthis all a bad dream or do this drugs really cause this. How am I to live with this when I can't get myself to come to terms. Could he really have loved me as much as he says and have an affair without realizing what he was doing? Because thats what he says " I didn't know I was doing anything wrong". I know i sound like a broken record and I guess that is what I am, its been 2:years and here I still am.please help with this I need you all to help me understand.

#85 mylifeisback

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Posted 24 February 2015 - 06:17 PM

my husband has asked me a couple of times "why didn't you help me? I was f____d up and you didn't help me". I didn't know anything was wrong he lied so much and that is one of my problems I didn't know and when I found out I was in total shock and he didn't care one bit.

#86 dewayne76

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Posted 25 February 2015 - 08:44 PM

To the new fella, sorry I forget the name and in a hurry. PLEASE do not just move banks. If / when you divorce lawyers can see  and seize your accounts. Pull it out. ALL of it. If asked, tell them you used it for various things. Of course this depends on how much is in there. Put it to cash. Hide it. Keep it in your posession. At a friends. ****, BURY IT. Lawyers will find a way to get it. The more they find, the more they keep. 

Mylifeisback. When your husband asks why you didn't help him, just tell him what you told us. He didn't care enough to listen or didn't care enough about you. He left you no choice. You were stunned. Shocked at his behavior, etc. To be honest, I question his 'return' if he's not nicer / better understanding of this. He really SHOULDN'T be asking you this, in my opinion. Unless of course he's saying it in a manner like "I wish you'd helped me so I could've gotten out of that funk faster", in that case I wouldnt' be so worried / upset at him. 

The thing is, all of you... YES a tiny little pill CAN do this to people! It's life changing. Most don't come back. I literally watched my ex, my best friend, lover, mother of my child, "soulmate" if you will... change in a 5 minute span. 7 months in, after the lying, cheating etc started I caught her in a mood / window where she was herself and she was crying and asking why she'd done all these things. Saying she felt like she was experiencing multiple personalities and can't control it. On the way home, 5 minutes later, she was back to being the cold hearted monster, recanting everything she had said 5 minutes earlier. Voice changed, tone changed, stopped holding my hand. Moved closer to her door (passenger) just to get away from me. I WATCHED THIS CHANGE BEFORE MY EYES! ... literally the scariest thing I've experienced. I watched my best friend disappear. It took her soul, the very essence of "who" she was. 

Never. EVER doubt it was the pills!



#87 mylifeisback

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Posted 26 February 2015 - 04:50 AM

Dewayne, he doesn't say why didn't I help him in a bad way, he is saying that he neede help because he couldn't help himself and I as his wife didn't see that he was in trouble and help him.But I do believe if I would have found out the things he was doing while be was drugged we would have gotten divorced because he would not have wanted to stop and either one of us would have known what was happening.

#88 DevastatedWife

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Posted 26 February 2015 - 10:37 AM

Mylifeisback.

 

I too have experienced the same hell you have with my husband.  We are still working at it.  it is not easy and I don't have any great words of wisdom, trust me I wish I did. One thing my husband has done though is that he has OWNED this! Yes he was completely manic, like Dewayne, I watched it happen.  Our son found his online craziness before I did and not only that but he was so creeped out by his dad's behavior that he approached me to remove the guns from our home. When we took it out of the safe, it was loaded with no safety on.  After I removed the guns, he was fixated on what I had done with them. Several times a day he would call or text me about it. I finally told him to leave - that is what it took for him to go to a rehab center to get off of suboxone, effexor, and ambien! A 30 day rehab center!  Oh of course he was told he was bi-polar and of course this was handed down with no one even asking me. I've lived with him for over 20 years, he is not bi-polar.  He is angry with himself for not questioning the doctor, for not allowing me to have a say.  He went to this doctor for help in getting off of pain meds that our ex-primary care doctor gave him.  He lost his business, dignity, and he almost lost his family.

 

So the reason I stayed in the beginning was not for him or our marriage - it was for my son.  He was so angry with his father, I had so much power in that situation. I don't want my son carrying this anger into his adulthood over a snap shot in time.  Yes this was a Snap shot of him similar to that of me in my younger days single and drunk out with my friends. Do I want people to think of me only as that snap shot in time?  Absolutely not.  We are always evolving and I had to find a way to forgive him for not being stronger.  I struggle with trusting any doctors.  I fired my individual counselor because I found she defended these medications and I just couldn't handle these conversations with her.  I've turned to the church now. Never in my life would I have ever thought I would have done that but it's been the only thing that has brought me some sense of peace.  My husband has been supportive of this as well and is going with me.

 

I was one of those people that would have never believed that any of this could happen.  We are a middle class, suburban family that is extremely ordinary.  My eyes are extremely wide open now and I thank God that it wasn't worse.  I know you feel like how could it have been worse? right?  I felt that way for a long time but go look at drugawareness.org or ssristories.net or google the David Crespi family and you'll see really quick how it could have been way way worse.  Take one day at a time, when you're overwhelmed....take a deep breath, you don't have to make life changing decisions right now.  This website also has helped me to help my husband through what has worked for others.  God bless!



#89 mylifeisback

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Posted 26 February 2015 - 12:04 PM

DevastatedWife, it is so hard tounderstand how this has happened, I know the facts are placed right in front of my eyes, I see it, I know it nd I read it but with all of that said I still have the gut wrenching feeling of all the hurt and shock inside of me and that feeling the overwhelming feeling that came across my soul at the moment this all came out.its that feeling that I carry every day that when it surfaces I could just die inside.how could my husband be with another I just dont know what to do with all of this. I cant even be passionate with him without thoughts of him beinn with a prostitute and being drunk in strip clubs.this plays over and over in my head. I wonder if this affects him in the same way? one of the psychiatrist that evaluated him told me that I was lucky it was a prostitute and not a gun to the side of his head. This is so terribly hard and like I said I don't know how to process it or what to do with it it just stays in my brain over and over and over again.

#90 DevastatedWife

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Posted 26 February 2015 - 01:33 PM

I understand how you feel and unfortunately I understand that overwhelming feeling also.  It takes years to overcome infidelity.  Also perhaps this was a deal breaker for you.  That's ok too.  There is no wrong or right feeling.  I found out about my husband by looking at his phone after he went to rehab and I called the girl. That was completely crazy and she was not a good person.  She wanted his money (lol that she thought he had) and was totally ghetto.   My mind was racing, I went off the deep end!  I have never felt so out of control.  We walked out of marriage counseling.  That was a complete joke for us. This was always a deal breaker in my mind.  I guess you never really know what you'll do until your in those shoes.  I would read the surviving infidelity website but I found that it was better for me to take the resources it provided and I just left the rest.  In my little bubble over here I never realized how broken people are or maybe I just didn't want to see it.  What was worse is that now I was the broken one and on that site they are telling me to go to the doctor and get AD's! WTH right!  I'm over here thinking are you crazy, hell no I'm not going to do that.  My OBGYN offered them up when I went in for my complete STD screening.  I completely broke down when they drew blood for my AIDS test!  I was quite a sight for sore eyes let me tell you.  Then you have people saying that it's BS that AD's won't do that to someone that it's an excuse so it's so confusing and you feel like your head is going to explode.

 

My husband wasn't perfect before this and he had a rocky childhood and like most men he didn't talk or express his feelings.  We went to a retrouvaille weekend and he wanted to leave.  I told him that was fine, he could leave but I was done.  I would forgive him for my own sanity and so I could move on but we would need to arrange for our divorce.  He decided to stay and that is what saved our marriage.  We now finally had a tool for him to actually communicate with me.  I got a book for him to read about what his affair did to me so he could begin to understand what I needed and that helped too.  I know your husband isn't saying in a bad way why didn't you help me but that is not something he should be saying to you at all.  There is so much going on in this that I do understand how people just leave and end it.  There's the medication and getting off of it and the aftermath of the the side effects.  For those around it's just a big pile of S***!  We are the collateral damage.

 

Really what it comes down to is the decision to heal.  Only you can make that decision.  Life is too short to be overcome with the past.  You can't relive it and there will be no other outcome but you can decide to leave it there and learn from it.  I can't and won't say that is the best thing that has ever happened to me because it definitely wasn't but I am more aware of things and I know what I want and what I don't.  Also my husband and I talk about things at a level that I never would have imagined possible.  I would recommend Retrouvaille to anyone struggling with a troubled marriage and I most definitely recommend it to you and what you've been through.  Your husband has a lot of guilt and he has his own healing to contend with.  You are not in charge of his healing and he is not in charge of yours but it sounds like you both need tools to help each other through it.



#91 DevastatedWife

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Posted 27 February 2015 - 07:11 AM

Mylifeisback - I was thinking about this over night and one way to shift the focus away from your husband's actions during his drug induced craziness is to focus on the times that it wasn't that way.  Obviously there is something there or you wouldn't be attempting reconciliation.  The easiest thing to do is to leave and move on but there is something holding you back from that, what is it?  I understand the thoughts that creep in at the worst possible time but when that happens switch your thoughts back to a happier time.  As angry as you are (and have every right to be), your husband needs to move on too.  If you can't move forward, he will live in a constant state of guilt and turmoil.  All you have to do is read the other stories on this site to see the guilt and damage from just he drugs alone but now add all of the horrific things he did to the people he loves, that is a lot to bear.  The best way I've found is talking about it but I don't mean marathon talking 24-7.  Schedule time each day or week to discuss. Don't drag it on and on.  Also the most frustrating thing for me is the why and how can he not remember??? The reality is he may never know why or ever recover those memories. I do believe this because I've talked with other people who have experienced this. It's been described like a dream state or an out of body experience.  It's like when we dream we don't remember the little details but we remember the big things like falling off the cliff or crashing in the dream but we struggle to recall the details of how we got to that point in the dream.  it does get easier and you are not alone.



#92 Bitter

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Posted 28 February 2015 - 10:46 AM

Thank you Devastated Wife and MyLifeIsBack for your advise.  

 

I have decided to leave my wife.  We had a meeting with the Psychiatrist and found that she is in fact a danger to our daughter.  It is not advised that we live in the same house as she cannot be alone with her.  I have to think of my daughter first, she has hurt her before more than once and I cant let that happen again. 

 

She is getting steadily worst.  She is acting much like your spouse MyLifeIsBack, she can be in tears one minute, guilty and remorseful and then a completely different person the next.  She has also done some terrible things and lied to the point that I dont know if I could ever look at her in the face again with any kind of trust.  We are 2 years into our marriage and have a lifetime to go, I cant take that risk right now for my daughter, my family and my own sanity.  I think I have also uncovered some issues that I didnt know about before which makes me distrust the real person that she is even further.  

 

I cant trust her feelings, she cant trust her own feelings.  I feel like we have no hope and I have to concentrate on what's important.  My family.

 

Thanks for your advise, I need to move on

 

Bitter



#93 dewayne76

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Posted 01 March 2015 - 03:10 PM

Bitter, I am terribly sorry for your sitch. But, I am glad you're being strong and trying to take the best stand possible. The "I must move on now" strikes me... fearing I should note; You will always find times where you second guess yourself, where you think possibly you should try harder, to NOT move on, etc. This is absolutely normal. Just as much as her brain is out of wack, yours is too. It's trying to make sense, but you have an advantage.... a non SSRI soaked (wet) brain. So hopefully you'll maintain course and help from afar. 

Please take care of your daughter and yourself... and from a distance, try to help your friend if you can. The ONLY thing you can / need to do, imo, is to just try and see to it that she gets the help, the PROPER help and reduce accordingly... the named 10% drop (every 4 - 6 weeks) anything else.. can send her into a spiraling abyss. 

Good luck to you. 

I tried to keep it "professional" here, as my daughter JUST left with my ex. She didn't shed tears this time but my daughter hated to go home. She even said "Mommy, I don't to go home with you" . . it was tough, and I teared up. My ex? Looked at me like she had no feelings, like it didn't even phase her. I took a second look at her (hard to do now days)... zero make up, bed head, her thinning hair is so much worse, still gaining weight, poorly dressed... NOTHING like what she used to be. Anyways, neither here nor there I suppose. 

Again, good luck to you. 



#94 DevastatedWife

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Posted 02 March 2015 - 11:16 AM

Bitter - I'm so sorry that it came down to leaving.  For me it came down to him making the decision to get off of everything and help himself.  If my husband would not have done that, I would not still be married.  Ending a marriage is never easy, I'll pray for your peace and healing.  I'm so sorry!



#95 mylifeisback

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Posted 02 March 2015 - 06:58 PM

Bitter, I am so sorry for your family I was very blessed that I did not have to deal with getting my husband to stop the Celexa, he is the one who realized that something was wrong with him. I didn't find out about his crazynesss until after he realized. It was still super crazy dealing with him until it was out of his system. I feel your pain and I pray that she will come to her senses before it is to late.There is not much you can do for her until the drugs are stopped. take care of yourself ans your daughter first. And please don't give up on your wife because if she ever returns you may be her savior.

#96 dmpjhp

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Posted 06 March 2015 - 09:21 PM

DevastatedWife,
I apologize if you said this and I missed it, but how long was your husband off drugs before he completely felt healed?
Did he have roller coaster feelings for you during the withdrawal
Husband took Lexapro for supposed depression September-December 2012
Became distant after increasing to 20mg middle of September
Left home November
Went off pills cold turkey in January. Cut to 10mg for two weeks, then to 0
Went back on sporactically in April because of physical symptoms, mainly brain zaps
Off completely end of April 2013
Rollercoaster of emotions toward me for the next year
Has not had positive feelings for me since April '14, extremely hostile
Divorced me May '15

#97 dewayne76

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Posted 08 March 2015 - 08:00 PM

dmpjhp, 

 I am not speaking for the person whom you asked directly, however I can say that for the most part, they usually do swing. The mind has to make adjustments, all the time during healing. Just because someone is "Back" or off completely of a proper taper doesn't mean their mind is completely over the ordeal... and some folks' minds can still give them little fits from time to time. Sometimes, I've read, are just minor little quirks that are noticeable but lower on the threat totem pole. 

As far as the timeline, I don't know about them, but I do know it ranges so widely it's hard to speculate... however a 6 month mark seems to come up although a LOT of people here are always quick to spout off about "Ohh nothing of significance happens at the 6 months mark, it just doesn't do it" (that being said in a very sarcastic tone), however you'd have to be dumb as shlt to believe this in my opinion because there are MAAAANNYYY folks who I have seen on these boards, other forums, personally etc talk about a 6 month mark being a marker of some sort. Either getting worse, having a huge wave or window etc. Not trying to sound "angry" or anything here, but it really irks me to see / think of those who say these things when even 'I', someone who wasn't even LOOKING for a timeline landmark can see that so many people have seen a 'landmark' at the 6 month mark. 

Now, this can be from C/T, or from full taper, etc. But, the thing is, it can be anything really. From a few months, to a few years, to a decade.... to never. I know of a few people who I've spoken to personally that have experienced the latter. But more folks of a 2 year mark before they felt / saw their loved one 'feeling healed' or significantly better. 



#98 DevastatedWife

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Posted 09 March 2015 - 08:51 AM

DevastatedWife,
I apologize if you said this and I missed it, but how long was your husband off drugs before he completely felt healed?
Did he have roller coaster feelings for you during the withdrawal

 

Some background - he was originally prescribed pain meds back in 2009 after several unsuccessful attempts to not use them he found a psychiatrist who claimed that he would not need to enter into a rehab as he could get him weaned off using suboxone.  This was in 2011. The doctor and my husband did not feel that he belonged in a rehab center for this because he was taking the pill as prescribed and therefore didn't fit the mold of what most people would consider a "drug addict". Suboxone is intended for short term use however this doctor kept him on it for over 2 years.  He experienced anxiety that he never had before and was first prescribed Celexa.  The anxiety was a side effect of the Suboxone.  Then came the insomnia so Ambien was added to this fine cocktail of prescriptions. In Dec 2012/Jan 2013 he was switched from Celexa to Effexor.  This was when the biggest change happened.  At first he seemed to be getting better and then I found out later that he was so desperate to get off of this that he would try his own taper usually at the end of each month.  Looking back on the timeline of incidents, it made total sense as he was completely manic.  He would not make sense, he purchased many big ticket items, he thought he was on top of the world.  During this time he also discovered another side effect which is low testosterone and he is still being treated for it today.

 

I knew something was wrong but I was not allowed to talk to the doctor.  By August - I told him to leave, I was angry and completely done. He was an emotionless shell of the person he once was. The doctor increased the Effexor dosage as well in August. It was this that actually made the difference because instead of taking the full dosage he misread his prescription and started taking less which cleared his mind enough to recognize that he needed help. He entered a holistic rehab center in Oct to get off of prescription medications that he was taking as prescribed. He was there with meth and heroin addicts that were given the same drugs in the rehab that he was there to get off of.  This is still CRAZY  to me!  I 100% believe that he would have been much worse off had he not gone to the rehab.  This rehab focuses on diet and they did yoga multiple times daily. They are not even allowed to have caffeine.  He would not have had this support at home.

 

As for the lasting side effects - he now wears glasses (blurry vision), he has to get testosterone shots (low T), Emotionally it's a roller coaster because it's confusing on how this could happen and he doesn't understand why he did some of things that he did.  He suffered the typical effects for about 6 months but hasn't had a whole lot since then (brain zaps, restless leg syndrome, etc).

 

My biggest frustrations:

1.) While I understand the need for HIPAA - i do not feel it should apply to people being prescribed these kinds of drugs! Had I been consulted, I would have been aware of what all he was being given.  And in addition to the prescriptions he was given there were numerous free samples of ADHD meds thrown in here and there as well as Xanax!  

 

2.) He was given a bi-polar label by a different psychiatrist at the rehab while he was coming down off of these meds. I find this absolutely absurd and again I was never asked any questions about his behavior prior to any of this. He was given lithium that he was able to stop taking in Feb, this is when the fog finally lifted completely.

 

3.) The drug companies KNOW this is happening yet the money is worth more than the people.  So many people are quick to defend these drugs and refuse to believe that there is any correlation between them and the increase in mass shootings, violence, etc.  Instead they say, we need to pay attention to mental illness but no one acknowledges that they were already being treated with mind altering drugs.

 

What I hope can come of this:

1.) I hope people will come to see that just because a doctor gives you a prescription doesn't mean that you should just hop on the bandwagon and take it. My father suffered horrible effects from a statin drug which caused him to be diagnosed with diabetes.  Doctors are "practicing". We should be in control of our bodies. I do understand that people feel depressed but I think that our biggest problem is that we are being programmed to believe that everyone should be happy all of the time and when we're not then there must be something wrong with us so we need to get a mind altering pill.  It's very disheartening and sad to see what is being done to children also.  If they don't fit the mold or if they're too excitable, not paying attention then they must have ADHD so they are being medicated and many parents don't even question it because the doctors say this is what needs done.

 

2.) Would love to see a rehab center for prescription drugs only. I'm not lost on the fact that my husband was very fortunate to have attended this rehab to get off of these pills even if I don't agree 100% with their treatments.  I know the holistic foods and approach that he received helped his recovery.

 

Lastly - I don't know if he will ever be 100% healed from this experience. Like I said he has physical side effects that are still there and there is always the lingering guilt of what he put our family through.  I know that I'm better than I was a year ago but I still have my moments.  I pray everyday that no family will ever have to endure this kind of hell.



#99 btdt

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Posted 10 March 2015 - 07:58 AM

"He was given a bi-polar label by a different psychiatrist at the rehab while he was coming down off of these meds" 

 

First let me say I am sorry this has happened it is more common than people want to admit. 

As for the quoted bit above... you CANNOT diagnose anyone when they are in withdrawal or on drugs... so that dx is wrong period don't let it follow him.  

 

I am so sorry how this has affected you and it is in the black box warning on ALL these sort of drugs that the families take special notice of any changes in personality ... for them to report this change to the prescribing doctor.  

 

There is a break down in this process as I have watched many spouses try to make reports and doctors do not listen to them.  In at least one case the doctor has been taken to task on this in court.  I do not know the outcome of the case as the site where I talked to said person closed mid conversation. 

 

I hope things improve from here on.  How is he doing now what is he taking if anything?  


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#100 btdt

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Posted 10 March 2015 - 08:04 AM

ps 

I have always thought spouses of drug takers could be the way to bring light into this subject as those who have taken the drugs are often not aware enough to do themselves any justice or just too sick to take it on.  Plus the drug takers opinion on their care is always subject to ridicule since they have a psych dx... on the other hand there are those like myself who were given these drugs for non psych reason pain or stomach issue who ended up with a psych dx AFTER ingesting the drugs. 

 

I think it is important that those people closest to the drug user stick to believing their own perceptions of the changes that took place tho I know it is night and day ...time and struggle has a way of grinding us all down so far and so hard we start to doubt if our loved one ever was what we thought they were... take it from me as I have been watching this exact thing go down for years.

 

Drugs change people drastically and often the drugs cause more problems than the fix... there is a book call ...your drug may be your problem... exactly what we are talking about here....

 

I have to agree completely with your comments and hopes posted above.   I pray for a good outcome for you and your family. 

peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#101 btdt

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Posted 30 March 2015 - 10:11 PM

I am copying a post I made to relationships to this thread as I think it has information especially important to people here. If you have been changed by drugs or have a partner who did a 180 while taking them this documentary the bit by Helen Fisher sheds some light on the changes. I have noticed when couple break up the drug taker always seems to seek out a person to date who is the opposite type of what they once wanted. I have noticed this to be very much a pattern... from being a one person man to being completely fascinated or obsessed with strip bars and casual sex. Wives who once liked the calm steady type swerving in their tastes to guys who play in the band and live on the edge... complete opposites that is what I see. From my own observations of myself and how my life changed when taking antidepressants to reading the stories of others for the past 7 years I have noticed some things. I woke in the night and found a documentary on tv called the Automatic Brain... I just happened to wake at the point where Helen Fisher was stating how we choose are partners based on our own brain chemistry... bingo.  I had to get up and find it before I forgot.  Here is the copy of the post I made with more information.

 

Wherever you on this path it is a strange path not like anything we have known before we don't have much to base healing on as others who have gone thru this were either unaware and completely confused and I would imagine terrified and lost... or have not had anyone who believed them or cared to hear what they had to say.  As this changes so does our understanding still the road is rocky so hold  on tight... I wish you peace.

 

here is the post:

http://tvo.org/progr...automatic-brain

 

This is a Canadian program but I know this documentary can be found online at other sources so if you cannot get this link to work search for it in other places. The title of the documentary is "The Automatic Brain"

 

One of the interesting areas discussed by our old Friend Helen Fisher is the make up of our brain chemistry controls who we choose as a partner.  Raise the serotonin you will want a different person.  Up the oxytocin norepinephrine you have... something we call falling in love. 

 

I did not see it all just a bit from Helen but it was just the right bit I will be watching the rest for sure. 

 

We want to think we are controlled by something explicitly different then chemicals in our brains but more and more it is becoming apparent we cannot fight our brain chemistry... changing our brain chemistry changes who we are .. if we like it or not is not an option... it just is.  This is my own observation based on my own experience and a few other things I have learned along the way. 

 

If any old pp members are here and your recall the thread "Some things I have noticed"  of how people say they changed when taking ssri drugs... I will say this thread was the first hint I had that the drugs had changed me. It is a long road to the understanding of it but with more and more knowledge coming forth it is becoming better then ever was. 

 

For some of use who were extremely changed by drugs understanding this is an important part to understanding our lives and our relationships.  I hope it helps you. 

 

peace 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#102 btdt

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Posted 30 March 2015 - 10:26 PM

Bitter, I am terribly sorry for your sitch. But, I am glad you're being strong and trying to take the best stand possible. The "I must move on now" strikes me... fearing I should note; You will always find times where you second guess yourself, where you think possibly you should try harder, to NOT move on, etc. This is absolutely normal. Just as much as her brain is out of wack, yours is too. It's trying to make sense, but you have an advantage.... a non SSRI soaked (wet) brain. So hopefully you'll maintain course and help from afar. 

Please take care of your daughter and yourself... and from a distance, try to help your friend if you can. The ONLY thing you can / need to do, imo, is to just try and see to it that she gets the help, the PROPER help and reduce accordingly... the named 10% drop (every 4 - 6 weeks) anything else.. can send her into a spiraling abyss. 

Good luck to you. 

I tried to keep it "professional" here, as my daughter JUST left with my ex. She didn't shed tears this time but my daughter hated to go home. She even said "Mommy, I don't to go home with you" . . it was tough, and I teared up. My ex? Looked at me like she had no feelings, like it didn't even phase her. I took a second look at her (hard to do now days)... zero make up, bed head, her thinning hair is so much worse, still gaining weight, poorly dressed... NOTHING like what she used to be. Anyways, neither here nor there I suppose. 

Again, good luck to you. 

 

"I tried to keep it "professional" here, as my daughter JUST left with my ex. She didn't shed tears this time but my daughter hated to go home. She even said "Mommy, I don't to go home with you" . . it was tough, and I teared up. My ex? Looked at me like she had no feelings, like it didn't even phase her. I took a second look at her (hard to do now days)... zero make up, bed head, her thinning hair is so much worse, still gaining weight, poorly dressed... NOTHING like what she used to be. Anyways, neither here nor there I suppose."

 

It is the fallout Dwayne... I look in the mirror some days and don't know the person I am looking at. I read something from Healing's site about the Gremanwing crash - on here some place... that said they are changed for good... I know who wants to believe that.. not me but I think it may be true. I will see if I can find it... 

http://davidhealy.or...#comment-117334

"Once treated with a drug, a pilot is never the same again.  Even if the underlying condition clears, he may not be able to stop.  The risks are not eliminated.  - See more at: http://davidhealy.or...comment-117334"

 

That is the bit that got to me.. am I the same now as before drugs .. no way in hell how could I possibly be... still I hope for some it is possible to return mostly to their real selves and real lives... but like it says above.. never the same again... and I believe that part. 

 

I am sorry you lost the love of your life she lost her too... 

I hope there is some peace to be found some day around this I know it is a stretch to get some... still I wish it for us all... first we have to understand it and as Healy says doctors don't know so they can't help us... we do the best we can with what we have... I do wonder if she knows your x... does she see it now... will she ever... I wonder that. 

peace all. 

B


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#103 dewayne76

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Posted 02 April 2015 - 05:45 AM

Heya, You know, when I first read about the plane crash, my FIRST response was "Bet he was on meds".. so it seems as if he was now. 

I want peace as well. I wound up loving my ex way more than I realized I guess. I still find myself, almost 3 years later wanting to tell her about something in my day, or w/e. I feel like I can never love again. So I feel like I can't be fair to anyone if I try to date. So I've given up dating. Peace... that would be nice. Peace would be good, perhaps one day. I'd even like to be able to "feel" love again. . . but I fear that those days are gone. We'll see. 

Hope everyone's having a good week. 



#104 mylifeisback

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Posted 02 April 2015 - 08:30 AM

btdt, it is seems so strange how a little pill can do these things to people, but it is the truth. You nailed my husband to the T when you said it takes a one person man and they start going to and being obsessed with strip clubs and having casual sex. My husband loved me, he never wanted to be away from me. And now as I have been searching for reasons for his actions over the past 25 years I see how much he really does.As I stated many posts ago or maybe even another site, he was mean our first few years of marriage, I understand why now and its because when we would have a disagreement he would panic over the thought of me leaving. This man never was without me unless he was working. And on drugs he could care less where I was. I asked this over and over " if you love me so much how could you be with another" and he would say "it wasn't me" I now see that it wasn't him. I now feel sorry for him, he must be going through hell. These drugs do more damage than most people will ever realize. He almost to his life when he realized what he had done, I a lmost took my life because I didn't understand, and the hell our children went through hell. But we all survived. WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES, SOME ARE NOT SO LUCKY.

#105 felin

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Posted 02 April 2015 - 09:07 PM

Wow!

 

Though all of that article (on first pg of this thread) was not me, I identify with it sooo much and I haven't even STARTED tapering yet.

 

I am getting really REALLY overwhelmed at the idea that tapering is actually going to make me worse than I already am. I don't know how much more of me my poor husband can take. Though we have been married for almost 30 yrs (29 this month), we are not doing at all well. The one thing that has kept us together all of these years is love. We really do love each other. But I am very very sick and now he is too (even tho not on anti d's).

 

My heart breaks at the reality of it all. AND... I am just furious at the evil behind these drugs. Just livid! If I am speaking honestly, these drugs have ruined my life. I am now almost 50 yrs old and have been on one form or another of anti d's since I was in my early 20's. How DARE these money hungry savages become more and more wealthy at MY expense and at the expense of all those whom I love and whose lives have been affected as a result.

 

Will I ever be normal again?


All that I can give you at this point is what I can remember. Will add more after I've called the zillions of doctors that I've had over the past 30 years. I have spent all day calling old insurance co's, etc to get the long list of doctors names that I once had, so will update this someday. Unfortunately, most records are no longer available. :(

 

Haven't started tapering yet. Will.

 

Currently am on:

  • Cymbalta 60 mg/ daily - actually taking the generic for it. It is called Duloxetine
  • Wellbutrin XL 150 mg/ daily - taking the generic for this. It is called Bupropion XL
  • Naturethroid 3/4 grain/ daily - this is a natural dessicated thyroid med for my Hypothyroidism
  • Relpax only take as needed - for migraines

FINALLY started tapering Cymbalta by 5% reduction May 5, 2016


#106 mylifeisback

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Posted 03 April 2015 - 09:00 AM

felin, I have come to the conclusion that, they do mot care. This stuff almost ruined my life. had it not been threads like this I would not have known what was happening. the hard part for me is just about over. and now my husband and I have lots of healing to do.

#107 btdt

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Posted 03 April 2015 - 03:13 PM

**** Dwayne I wrote you such a long and heartfelt post and then it disappeared on me... I just don't have what it takes to do it over today... sorry. 

 

I wanted to say I completely understand where your coming from... peace is what I shoot for


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#108 mylifeisback

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Posted 03 April 2015 - 06:16 PM

btdt, I spoke too soon. it has been a terrible afternoon for my husband. we drove an hour today for me to go to the eye doctor. I didn't realize at that time but he was quite. I went into the exam room and he stayed in waiting room. when I came out he didn't say much and did not seem to want to help me pick out my new frames. he was very distant towards me being very quite. when got back into the car he asked would I pay for supper, I said yes if we went somewhere not so expensive because I had just spend 500.00 on glasses. He wanted to go to an expensive place so I told him no. Well he got super mad and when I looked over at him he was crying. He wanted me to put him out and I refused. well a little tine went by and we were on the way home and he made me pull over and let him out. he told me to leave. so I did but just went a block or so and pulled over waiting for him to call. he did call abd wanted me to pick him up. we did not say one word all the way home. when we got home he went in tge bedroom abd closed the door. about 10 minutes later I went to check on him and he was in the bed. he rold me his brain is telling him to kill himself. he said he felt lije his head was foing going to explode just like when he stopped the celexa. its been over two years now, when will it stop? this is the second time it has been this bad.