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  • Moderator Emeritus

Titled:  Alcoholics Anmonymous Tremendously helpful

 

I had a drinking problem many years ago, and went to AA for years, and stayed sober.  As I was coming off of the SSRI's, I no longer had anything to numb my emotional pain, and became tempted to start drinking again.  I was also using Xanax, which is very dangerous for a recovered alcoholic to use.  So, I went back to AA a month ago.  I cannot say enough about how much this program is helping me.  I was not doing well in November or December.  I was having quite a lot of anxiety, and sadness, etc.  I went to AA and got a very strong sponsor, and am working the 12 steps.  I am having SO much more peace and serenity, and my anxiety is hugely reduced!!  I am also less sad.  I'm making new friends, and feel much less isolated!  

 

I would highly recommend a 12 step program to help with this process. I realize that some people see 12 step programs as a cult, but it doesn't have to become a cult, as long as I don't make AA my entire life.  Some people do that.  Just keep a balance.  

 

Jennifer

Edited by manymoretodays
merged

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Jennifer, @getofflex

 

Merged your recent post here, as I think it fits.

Yes, me too.  It's been really helpful to me as well.

 

I really need to stay active in my 12 step program and fellowship.  It's kind of at the top of my priorities now.  When I keep it that way, the rest does seem to fall into a nice balance.  And it's such a wonderful program in which to stay spiritually fit.

 

How  are you doing?  And thankyou for posting on my introduction!

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello everyone,

 

I have only managed to skim through this thread due to very limited capacity right now.  But I wanted to ask a question to see if anyone else has considered this:

 

I was introduced to 12 steps in 2015, CODA initially, and then ACA.  The fellowships became really important to me and I felt like 12 step programmes were really very very special, and I was amazed that such an amazing thing existed worldwide, available to all of us.....  Anyway, through the effects of a withdrawal which was too complex and too fast, I ended up housebound and unable to go to my meetings.  I did try to continue them online for a while but noticed that I was starting to identify less and less because I wasn't able to be active in relationships (at work, with friends, at home....) because I have lost all my relationships through my declining health over the past ten years due to meds.  It is a grief that is huge and I'm not managing it well.  I realise how ESSENTIAL it is for me (and probably for most of us) to have connections, meaningful relationship, especially during the toughest times of our lives.  I need to make this a priority now to be able to keep going.  So, I considered Chronic Pain (and Chronic Illness) Anonymous, CPA.  Does anyone else have experience of this fellowship?  I have tried a few meetings.  I think part of my inner struggle is trying to work out whether I want to identify as being chronically ill, within myself, or not.  That might sound ridiculous, because I am chronically ill!  And I know I'm fighting that reality and that in itself is causing huge problems.  But part of me is saying, "don't adopt that identity; keep looking towards health; keep tipping in that direction".  Whilst it was a big and emotional thing for me to identify as codependent, I am absolutely able and willing to own that identity.  I am really really struggling to identify as chronically ill.  [I'm rushing a little as I am being called away.  I don't want to be sloppy but I also know that if I don't post this, it might take me a long time to get the energy and focus together to do it another time.  So please forgive waffliness or lack of care/clarity.]  I would really welcome anyone else's thoughts on this.  Thank you.  I know I'm circling the whole issue of acceptance (especially because I have been rendered so disabled by psych drugs) and because I am looking at 5 - 7 years plus of tapering, and am already housebound, and having to hold because I'm so unstable😌.  I'm just trying to find any ways I can right now to keep the flame of hope alive.  And I think, for me, now, it's essential that I make some connections.

 

Warmest wishes to you all,

 

Harriet8

1997   1st psychiatric appt: began medications (no record);   2002   Efexor XL, Xanax, Risperdal, Stilnoct; 2003  Efexor, Xanax, Stilnoct, Serlain;   2004   many medications (no record), but including Lithium, Diazepam, Lorazepam;   2005  Clomipramine; Imipramine; (8 sessions of Electroconvulsive Therapy, ECT);   Sept 2005 Citalopram, Quetiapine 800mg, L-Tryptophan;   2006 - 2009 Reduced L-Tryptophan and Quetiapine, finished Quetiapine Nov 2009;  Jan 2010  Began reducing Citalopram   >>>STARTED NOTICING SOMATIC SYMPTOMS (described above)>>>   2012   Citalopram, Diazepam, Zolpidem, Promethazine, Risperidone, Mirtazepine, Trazadone, Buspirone, L-Tryptophan, Chlorpromazine, Alprazolam   Sept 2012medications changed to Citalopram, Quetiapine, Diazepam, L-Tryptophan;   2015 - 2017: reduced meds until just Citalopram 60mg;   2017  1 May   Citalopram, 50mg   25 May Citalopram, 40mg   Dec 2017 - Apr 2018: Citalopram, 35mg > 30 mg >   25 mg > 20mg;   2018   1 May Citalopram 30mg,   21 May 35mg   Jun Diazepam, 2mg, increased to 6mg (3 x 2mg to assist eating)   Aug Zolpidem for 10 days   Sept Zopiclone 3.75mg;   (Nov: inpatient admission):  Dec Pregabalin 100mg added, Diazepam increased to 8mg, Citalopram increased to 40mg;   2019  Jan Citalopram 40mg, Diazepam 8mg, Pregabalin 100mg, Zopiclone 3.75mg (now reducing Zopiclone: 2.81mg on 2 May, 1.88mg on 16 May)

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 9/8/2018 at 1:18 AM, manymoretodays said:

Hi guys!  Yah, I am going to try alanon one of these weeks.  I've been getting back to my new/revised AA program and it's going really well.  I love my AA fellowship, often where ever I go.

 

My sponsor is back too......she'd been traveling, and checked on me post dental procedure.  She's a keeper for sure.

 

Also, I had meant to mention awhile back that is was LSD that Bill W. did, not mushrooms..........according to the official literature.  Lois even joined him in this endeavor and he turned down an offer from Timothy Leary to do LSD with him...........or so the legend goes........  B)

 

I'm getting a lot out of meetings lately, and getting more disciplined in my daily use of the tools inherent........once again.  Progress, not perfection we often say.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

mmt

I'm glad

  • 13th of August 2019 started to take 20 mg citalopram
  • 😀24th of August 2019 down to 10mg stopped citalopram altogether on the 30th of August 2019
Quote

Short term citalopram

 

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On 2/10/2020 at 1:54 PM, Harriet8 said:

Hello everyone,

 

I have only managed to skim through this thread due to very limited capacity right now.  But I wanted to ask a question to see if anyone else has considered this:

 

I was introduced to 12 steps in 2015, CODA initially, and then ACA.  The fellowships became really important to me and I felt like 12 step programmes were really very very special, and I was amazed that such an amazing thing existed worldwide, available to all of us.....  Anyway, through the effects of a withdrawal which was too complex and too fast, I ended up housebound and unable to go to my meetings.  I did try to continue them online for a while but noticed that I was starting to identify less and less because I wasn't able to be active in relationships (at work, with friends, at home....) because I have lost all my relationships through my declining health over the past ten years due to meds.  It is a grief that is huge and I'm not managing it well.  I realise how ESSENTIAL it is for me (and probably for most of us) to have connections, meaningful relationship, especially during the toughest times of our lives.  I need to make this a priority now to be able to keep going.  So, I considered Chronic Pain (and Chronic Illness) Anonymous, CPA.  Does anyone else have experience of this fellowship?  I have tried a few meetings.  I think part of my inner struggle is trying to work out whether I want to identify as being chronically ill, within myself, or not.  That might sound ridiculous, because I am chronically ill!  And I know I'm fighting that reality and that in itself is causing huge problems.  But part of me is saying, "don't adopt that identity; keep looking towards health; keep tipping in that direction".  Whilst it was a big and emotional thing for me to identify as codependent, I am absolutely able and willing to own that identity.  I am really really struggling to identify as chronically ill.  [I'm rushing a little as I am being called away.  I don't want to be sloppy but I also know that if I don't post this, it might take me a long time to get the energy and focus together to do it another time.  So please forgive waffliness or lack of care/clarity.]  I would really welcome anyone else's thoughts on this.  Thank you.  I know I'm circling the whole issue of acceptance (especially because I have been rendered so disabled by psych drugs) and because I am looking at 5 - 7 years plus of tapering, and am already housebound, and having to hold because I'm so unstable😌.  I'm just trying to find any ways I can right now to keep the flame of hope alive.  And I think, for me, now, it's essential that I make some connections.

 

Warmest wishes to you all,

 

Harriet8

Hi Harriet

 

I tried CPA (Chronic Pain and Chronic Illness) for awhile.  The people were kind and welcoming and I was familiar with 12 step programs having been member of Alanon, which I loved.  But after I was injured by medication, I couldn't attend the in person meetings and even on the phone  meetings, I found it hard to relate to the familiar Alanon issues.  

 

I have stepped back from CPA because I too did not want to identify as a chronically ill person.  I just found myself getting upset and not relating to the group even though the members are kind and caring.  So I understand your thoughts on CPA.   I want to feel hopeful that I will heal completely at the end of this final taper and defining myself as chronically ill was hard for me too.

 

In the end I had to trust that my reluctance was not denial but actually the part of me that has hope and belief that there will be an end to this.phase of my life.  

 

Hibari 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • 3 years later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Ahhh, I get that @Hibari  I work hard on unlabeling myself as well.

Late response I know......

 

I kind of wanted to bump this topic, for just in case.........it might be useful for someone and has gotten quite dusty.

 

I suggest a full read of the whole topic prior to posting here, as that always helps.  And it is not a substitute or any official 12 step group......if you know what I mean.  It's just how it is helpful for us, the 12 steps can be.......or how it has not been I suppose too.  There's always both sides to any issue.  All matter.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth..........

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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