Thank you Bubble.
Had a brilliant night's sleep last night, ie head touched the pillow and then nothing, only woke to alarm - something my exercise is definitely helping with. My sleep was very deep and refreshing, no nightmares or dreams.
Exercising is not really helping my weight, but is helping my sleep. It seems to give a deeper level of relaxation at a very physical level. Some aspects of exercising remind me of a panic attack, but not in a disturbing way - I guess exercising may help with panic attacks as well as sleep.
I will have to reduce my food intake for the weight control - this is another learning curve for me, as it is something I have never been very successful at doing. Basically, I don't know if my weight gain is from over eating, comfort eating, poor food choices or taking citalopram and it making me more hungry and possibly altering of the hormones involved in weight control. Probably all of them together, but time will reveal more. I don't want to be slim or skinny, just tidier and a stone less will do - I have lost some but not enough by a long way.
Today I have no withdrawal symptoms whatsoever. It was interesting when I read all of my story through so far, to note how many times I typed 'no withdrawal symptoms', so the whole journey so far, has not been too bad at all, but when it has become bad I have not stuck it out, and when it became bad it was very bad.
I am taking the fish oil, which I am taking at the maximum dose on the bottle, 3 capsules, and have not had any brain zaps. I read somewhere on this site that fish oil can really help with brain zaps, but of course we can't really know. However, in my other attempts at withdrawing I had brain zaps.
I have been wondering if the individuals on this site who really struggle with sleep issues, have tried exercising. However, I recognise that it requires motivation, which individuals can be low on when struggling with various issues. I don't actually enjoy it myself, but afterwards I feel so much better and sleep so much better that I seem to be committing to it.
I am going to be honest about my food now. This is how bad my food choices are. I went out and about with my nearest and dearest family the other day. I didn't eat breakfast, had fish and chips for lunch and mushy peas, nibbled at my husband's left over chips, and had walnut cake for my tea. I know what I should have eaten, but didn't. I suppose all my life I have eaten badly, but now due to age and a life time of psychiatric meds, and citalopram of late, it has become much more of a problem and I am having to forge new attitudes to food. I was actually underweight when I was young and suffering from depression, I used to struggle to eat enough. Of course, at 58 now my metabolism will have slowed too and life is generally much more sedentary for everyone, but especially me.