Distraction

[WinningThrough]

I hear a lot of people talk about distraction as a means for getting through this.

 

What worries me is that no matter what I do or how hard I try, I can't distract. I remember years ago when I had an anxiety and panic disorder (I was on no meds except propranolol), I could often distract. I could get lost in something and forget about my anxiety.

 

This is a different kettle of fish. It's so all consuming that I just can't get away from it ever. In my better days (semi windows) it's still there all the time. I don't get any breaks from it. It's just marginally easier to function on those days.

 

I go for walks when I can. I've eaten in pubs with great difficulty. I've made myself go out at times. I play computer games. I sort of watch tv. I make myself do housework when I can manage it. I talk on the phone. I see friends if I can manage. I try so hard. No matter what I do, I just can't distract. With normal panic disorder (and my panic disorder was bad years ago), I could distract for quite long periods of time and I could enjoy myself. I worked during most of it. Now, I don't enjoy myself ever.

 

In my thread, I've described a few windows I've had where more of me has been there and where I've sort of felt my feelings a little bit and felt hopeful. But even on those days, its still all been there all the time.

 

The longest I can distract is if something is on the telly and I might comment on what I'm watching or follow the story a little bit. But that distraction is only for a few seconds at a time.

 

Is this normal? I guess it is for akathisia because you simply can't escape the terror or intense all over body unease ever. It's like I need the akathisia not to be there in order to distract.

 

Do a lot of people struggle with this?

[Barbarannamated]

I do. I also have no job or any regular activities that (I think) help many people distract during withdrawal. That's an assumption only; I've read of several people who have hardest times on weekends or days off with nothing scheduled.

 

I, too, can only watch TV for short periods if I'm VERY interested in the show. Things that used to hold my attention don't now and I'm afraid it's not getting better. Important to note that I was on a cocktail of drugs for nearly 20 years.

[LoveandLight]

Yes winning through, I understand it you are not alone xx

[Petunia]

I've also had problems trying to distract, sometimes the symptoms can be so intense its impossible, I used to regularly have mornings like that, so I would just lay and focus on what I was feeling, using breathing to keep myself calm.   Now I can usually partially distract myself in the mornings, its like I'm still aware of the symptoms, but they only occupy about 50% of my awareness, but they still make it hard to focus and it can be quite a battle until mid-afternoon, which for me is when I usually start to feel a little better.

 

Now I can have periods of up to half an hour where I'm able to completely distract and be involved in what I'm doing, but its taken over 17 months of being completely medication free to get to this point.  But like Barb, I have been on many different drugs over a 16 year period.

 

As symptoms reduce it becomes easier to distract from them.

[WinningThrough]

Thanks Barbara, Joanna and Petu. I'm so sorry you all struggle with this too.

 

Petu, it's great that you're now getting times when you can distract. That's very encouraging!

[UnfoldingSky]

Yes I have had this problem and still can at times but it's so much better now. The other day I caught myself getting wrapped up in photography and realized that I wasn't able to do that before.  I had so much difficulty distracting myself not only because the symptoms were severe and because I couldn't focus well on most things (there were a few exceptions) but the things I had liked to do before mostly were not accessible--they actually mostly would make me feel worse.  TV was mostly out for instance, it was either too brightly lit for my sensitive eyes or the plot lines too upsetting. 

 

With akathisia I think it's basically that your fight/flight "mechanism" has gone haywire, so that you feel a continual need to move, because your body wrongly believes you are facing some external danger, ie the flight part has been activated.  Under such circumstances then it makes a kind of sense why distraction wouldn't work.  If your body perceives  danger, it isn't in your best interest to distract yourself from it.  But of course there is no real danger here, not outside of you anyway (hopefully!) so it seems nonsensical. 

 

Or that's my half-baked theory on why this happens. 

[WinningThrough]

Thanks unfolding sky. I'm so glad you've been able to get wrapped up in photography.

 

You're right about the fight/flight mechanism. I wonder if something happens to the amygdala in akathisia.

 

I've realised with severe 24/7 akathisia that there really is nothing you can do but just keep white knuckling it through. After 13 months of this it's so hard. I try so hard, I really do. But in order to really do the things I need to do to help, the akathisia has to go, or calm down to a bearable level. It just has to.

 

I wish there was something I could take to stop it but there is nothing. I had it dreadfully all the time I was ON the meds. It never calmed down.

 

Rant over. Back to my positive affirmations and reading the success stories I guess. I'm compiling akathisia success stories.

[UnfoldingSky]

I am sorry it's still ongoing for you Winning.  I wish there was some way to make it stop too. It will go away though.

[Wilting]

 I guess it is for akathisia because you simply can't escape the terror or intense all over body unease ever. It's like I need the akathisia not to be there in order to distract.

 

 

This is exactly how I feel. I just cannot get distracted from it, I feel it every second!

[Junglechicken]

Yup, me too - really struggle with getting out of my head and away from all of the associated symptoms.

 

It's a bit easier now that I am in a sort of window, but in a wave it's impossible.

[wantrelief]

I am finding it difficult to distract myself as well.  All I seem able to do is read on this forum; for some reason I can concentrate on that - perhaps it is some kind of obsessive behavior over my "condition"?  However, I would like to try to find other ways to distract myself if at all possible.  I try to read novels (I used to love to read) or other websites but find I can't focus for very long.  I can watch a little bit of TV but not much as I can't keep my focus on it for very long (also very unlike me) either.  So all of my usual ways of trying to relax are now not working.

 

Has anyone found anything that is helpful for distraction?

[Lakelander82]

It's probably an extremely overactive nervous system causing all the introverted thinking about yourself and your situation. When the this calms down you will have clarity and be able to concentrate fully on hobbles and be fully present.

 

Mornings used to be the worst for me when on the full dose, nothing could catch my attention because my head was all over the place, sometimes being simultaneously depressed and anxious at the same time. Basically I felt like a bag of shite. Now I'm on my taper, and bearing in mind I'm still early in the journey, I'm beginning to feel more like my old self - more calm, less irritable with people and generally more patients, easily lost in activities/interests and moving about in public at ease with no anxiety etc.

 

It all goes back to the screwed up nervous system I reckon, once it's at peace, you stop thinking and analysing your situation and just take life as it comes. Fix the nervous system and the inward thinking fixes itself.

 

Btw, swimming/running/ mountain biking are great activities to get lost in if you haven't tried them.

[Waiting12]

Any of the original posters found that this goes away over time? I have been consumed with introversion and not being able to concentrate on pretty much anything. Very unlike me before the bad reactions.