Jump to content

If you find useful information here, your gift would help keep this site going. Our staff is entirely volunteer.

Photo
* * * * * 1 votes

When Strangers Become Your People


  • Please log in to reply
23 replies to this topic

#1 Meimeiquest

Meimeiquest

    Platinum star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,879 posts
  • LocationSpring Hill, TN

Posted 09 November 2014 - 09:04 AM

http://www.thehouseo...me-your-people/

In many ways, this website has done this for me.,,,I am grateful
1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.
Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12
Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13
Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15
11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)
9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol
7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol
56 years old

#2 Altostrata

Altostrata

    Administrator

  • Administrators
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 24,091 posts
  • LocationSan Francisco, CA

Posted 09 November 2014 - 11:15 AM

Thank you, meimei. What a beautiful story.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#3 btdt

btdt

    Fingers of titanium

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,167 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 10 November 2014 - 07:09 PM

“They said this would be easy. But it’s not. Unexpected things happen that change everything. This is too hard for me.”

Sometimes our people look different than we imagine.

Sometimes they are only in our life for a train ride.

But we need them to get us through the unexpected.

Today I am grateful for my people, both the ones that support me in my daily walk and the ones God provides simply for those unexpected moments when it’s just too difficult to stand on my own.

 

EXACTLY!!!

peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#4 hacilar

hacilar

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 52 posts
  • LocationNorthern California

Posted 09 December 2014 - 07:39 AM

That was beautiful; I've had these experiences-they make life worth living.


21 years of various psych meds.

Currently experiencing 'withdrawal syndrome' from 14 years of 0.5mg Klonopin: 1 q hs

Tapered over a year and a half dry cutting.

Hx of Imipramine (nightmare) (1992) Zoloft,(1992) Paxil (difficult to d/c)(2000) Effexor(2004-5) (also very difficult to d/c) Lamictal(2004-6), Neurontin(2004-6), Depakote(2006-2012), Remeron(2007) Various sleeping pills at different times...

 

UPDATE

Month 40 post Benzo taper

 

there have been windows, sometimes weeks of feeling 'almost normal' and the BLAM

 

windows and waves, indeed


#5 MissSerene

MissSerene

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 105 posts
  • LocationEast Coast

Posted 29 December 2014 - 03:17 PM

What a wonderful thing. Thank you, Meimei.


Prozac 20 mg/daily since 1995

July 19, 2013, initial cut to 15 mg; Aug. 2 updosed to 18 mg; Aug. 19, to 16.2 mg
Held at 2.52 ml/day Jan. 11-April 16, 2014
April 16, 2014, cut to 2.40 ml/day
Dec. 29, 2014, 1.84 ml/day, and held there almost six months
June 23, 2015, 1.75ml/day; July 21, 2015, 1.70 ml/day
Aug. 13, 2015, 1.60 ml/day

Feb. 7, 2016, .7 ml/day; April 26, 2016, .6 ml/day

 

Taking anastrozole (estrogen blocker)
 
Successfully completed long, slow Klonopin taper November 2011. :ph34r:


#6 westcoast

westcoast

    Gold star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,245 posts
  • LocationMidwest

Posted 18 January 2015 - 11:57 AM

Tears running down my face. How wonderful to have helped that lady that and to have written about it. This is what people are at our best.

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:


#7 KarenB

KarenB

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 2,379 posts
  • LocationRaglan, New Zealand

Posted 10 February 2015 - 10:18 PM

It's the heart of everything, really.  Life ain't worth much if we can't be there for those around us, wherever, whoever, whenever.  This was brought home to me when I was 19, living in a city after growing up on a farm, and driving a motor-scooter which broke down one day far from my flat.  I knocked on the door at the nearest house and an elderly lady invited me in and offered her phone.  She gave me cake and a drink and sat me in her lounge while I waited for the garage man to arrive.  I felt like I'd really put her our and was apologising and thanking her, till she said 'But - that's what we're here for.' 

 

To her it was obvious - people are here on earth to help other people. 

 

I've never forgotten her words, and it's how I try to respond to people.  Wherever, whenever, whoever. 


2010 May Fluoxetine 20mg. Raging mostly stops, become more functional.
2011 February Escitalopram 10mg (sudden switch). 2012 January Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Early June Feeling great, decide to taper. Doc advises alternate days 20mg/10mg for 4 weeks.  Late June Steady. Drop to 10mg daily. Early July Not coping, raging, flu symptoms, shaky, anxious, low, spaced-out, self-destructive.  Mid July Return to alternate days 20mg/10mg - minimal improvement. Early August Return to full dose 20mg. Lost.
2014 February Switch to Venlafaxine. (First reduced Esc. to 10mg/day for a week) Feb-April Lost, 'light' self-harm, exhausted.
April Increase Ven. to 150mg/day. Dizzy. July 75mg twice a day to improve dizziness. Deep depression remains.  2015 Feb Vigilant dose spacing partially eases dizziness. Mar Switch to Effexor 75mg 2x/day. May Cut 10% to 135mg - bad w/d 2 mths, held 1 mth.  Aug 1.3% cut - bad 1mth, held 1mth. Oct 4 wkly 0.4% cuts held 6 weeks. Jan 2016 2 wkly 0.4% cuts. 8 month hold. Sept Wkly cuts: 0.5%, 3 1% cuts.  Oct 4 wkly 1% cuts, hold 3-4 weeks.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamins E & C, magnesium, iron, MSM, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.  My story of healing: ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor or counselor; please do your own research and be prepared to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.


#8 btdt

btdt

    Fingers of titanium

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,167 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 10 February 2015 - 11:21 PM

It's the heart of everything, really.  Life ain't worth much if we can't be there for those around us, wherever, whoever, whenever.  This was brought home to me when I was 19, living in a city after growing up on a farm, and driving a motor-scooter which broke down one day far from my flat.  I knocked on the door at the nearest house and an elderly lady invited me in and offered her phone.  She gave me cake and a drink and sat me in her lounge while I waited for the garage man to arrive.  I felt like I'd really put her our and was apologising and thanking her, till she said 'But - that's what we're here for.' 

 

To her it was obvious - people are here on earth to help other people. 

 

I've never forgotten her words, and it's how I try to respond to people.  Wherever, whenever, whoever. 

" Life ain't worth much if we can't be there for those around us,"

 

For me this is a problem not being there for the real people... in my real life and maybe even more importantly not being there for me... for myself for my own life as wd has damaged it so terribly I no longer recognize it or myself. It is a terrible situation to be in. 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#9 KarenB

KarenB

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 2,379 posts
  • LocationRaglan, New Zealand

Posted 11 February 2015 - 05:22 PM

They are hard things.  The care needs to at least equal the hurt, and I guess all of us on this site need more care coming in before we can give care to others.  We possibly need a certain amount of care from others before we can even give some care to ourselves.  I used to wonder if I could ever get enough love to cover all the hurts.  Now days I sometimes believe I will, but that it happens slowly.  I hope you will get some more care and love coming your way.

 

PS I love your tag 'There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in.'


2010 May Fluoxetine 20mg. Raging mostly stops, become more functional.
2011 February Escitalopram 10mg (sudden switch). 2012 January Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Early June Feeling great, decide to taper. Doc advises alternate days 20mg/10mg for 4 weeks.  Late June Steady. Drop to 10mg daily. Early July Not coping, raging, flu symptoms, shaky, anxious, low, spaced-out, self-destructive.  Mid July Return to alternate days 20mg/10mg - minimal improvement. Early August Return to full dose 20mg. Lost.
2014 February Switch to Venlafaxine. (First reduced Esc. to 10mg/day for a week) Feb-April Lost, 'light' self-harm, exhausted.
April Increase Ven. to 150mg/day. Dizzy. July 75mg twice a day to improve dizziness. Deep depression remains.  2015 Feb Vigilant dose spacing partially eases dizziness. Mar Switch to Effexor 75mg 2x/day. May Cut 10% to 135mg - bad w/d 2 mths, held 1 mth.  Aug 1.3% cut - bad 1mth, held 1mth. Oct 4 wkly 0.4% cuts held 6 weeks. Jan 2016 2 wkly 0.4% cuts. 8 month hold. Sept Wkly cuts: 0.5%, 3 1% cuts.  Oct 4 wkly 1% cuts, hold 3-4 weeks.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamins E & C, magnesium, iron, MSM, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.  My story of healing: ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor or counselor; please do your own research and be prepared to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.


#10 btdt

btdt

    Fingers of titanium

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,167 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 15 February 2015 - 11:44 PM

They are hard things.  The care needs to at least equal the hurt, and I guess all of us on this site need more care coming in before we can give care to others.  We possibly need a certain amount of care from others before we can even give some care to ourselves.  I used to wonder if I could ever get enough love to cover all the hurts.  Now days I sometimes believe I will, but that it happens slowly.  I hope you will get some more care and love coming your way.

 

PS I love your tag 'There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in.'

 

Hard things indeed Karen I hope we all get what we need.  I can't take credit for the tag as I borrowed it directly from a song 

Mr Cohen a Canadian 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#11 btdt

btdt

    Fingers of titanium

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,167 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 17 February 2015 - 04:41 PM

1491684_944992365530005_3410495626579200

 

 

I found this today on another site thought it would fit perfectly here :) 

peace


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#12 AliG

AliG

    Platinum star

  • Moderators
  • 3,477 posts
  • LocationAustralia

Posted 07 March 2015 - 02:19 AM

"When strangers become your people".  I feel a little like that about some of the people I've met on this site. I've only been here a relatively short time, but in that time I feel an understanding about the issues we face that I don't get from friends or family . They haven't walked in my shoes, but the members here have and that makes such a difference. It's great to have the support.

 

It was a beautiful story, Meimei. Thank you.


Many SSRI's &SSNRI's over 20 years . Zoloft - 7 years .  Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and many more - on and off . No tapering. Cold turkey -  Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                            Drug free since May, 2014
.
             "Find a place inside where there's joy and the joy will burn out the pain" - Joseph Campbell


#13 Adagiooo

Adagiooo

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 306 posts
  • LocationUnited States

Posted 27 June 2015 - 04:47 PM

Thank you to the people on this site for being my people...for helping to help me keep myself alive even though I don't want to be alive.
2001-04 Polypharmacy to include Paxil,Celexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Depakote, Ambien, Geodon, Valium, Ativan, Haldol
03/04-11/04 Abilify
11/04-05/07 CT Abilify Non symptomatic
6/07 took Valium, began to experience altered reality and physical symptoms of withdrawal from Valium.
07/08. Abilify 2 mg, 12/08 Abilify 1 mg, 03/09 Abilify 0 mg, 03/08-06/11Altered reality but fully functional
10/12 hospitalized, Invega Depot, 2 shots discontinued, severe insomnia
6/14-10/14 flexeril, discontinued, developed insomnia; 10/14 10 mg Doxepin I week, no help with insomnia; 10/14 Remeron for two days, paradoxical reaction
Present Risperdal 1mg, clonazepam 2 mg, Restoril 15 mg. Went from .5 to 1 to 1.5 to 2mg of clonazepam in 2014. Also in 2014, tapered from 2 mg risperdal to 1.5 (fairly slowly but still too fast) and had to up dose back to 2 mg. Got liquid risperdal and started from 2 mg again.

#14 btdt

btdt

    Fingers of titanium

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 7,167 posts
  • LocationCanada

Posted 28 June 2015 - 04:47 AM

They are hard things.  The care needs to at least equal the hurt, and I guess all of us on this site need more care coming in before we can give care to others.  We possibly need a certain amount of care from others before we can even give some care to ourselves.  I used to wonder if I could ever get enough love to cover all the hurts.  Now days I sometimes believe I will, but that it happens slowly.  I hope you will get some more care and love coming your way.

 

PS I love your tag 'There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in.'

When I was still limping or crawling I made a decision that I would help those I love in my life in any way I could it did not always amount to much...  as I could not do much.  It took the focus off myself and when I was feeling dismal putting a few cups in the washer or putting in a load of laundry ...or sending a supportive note to one strained on fb...yes I know it was not actually in me but I did it anyway they were too far away to ever know...it was not in my day...but it was in me some place it came from somewhere to show compassion to be supportive. Maybe when we are too broken to sort out and still in the thick of things a small attempt to put good out into the world when we can when it is easy for us... maybe taking tiny movement in that direction is a place to start. 

 

I came to this from darkness.. I was in all ways ill,  I was not thinking I would survive it., I thought how do I want to be remembered... what do I want to leave those I care about.. since I could not do much.. this was the best I could leave tiny mementos  of love for them.  It was all I could do it was a choice I could make I chose to do something very tiny rather than nothing.  I think it helped but can't say how exactly.

 

We have to start some place.  


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#15 SoMuchGrace

SoMuchGrace

    Getting started

  • Members
  • Pip
  • 6 posts
  • LocationThe Texas Panhandle

Posted 02 July 2015 - 11:54 AM

I'm thankful that God has given me you people who understand.   In just a few days, you've provided support and comfort, 2 things for which I longed.



#16 gemini

gemini

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 127 posts
  • Locationsan diego, ca

Posted 27 July 2015 - 10:46 PM

I'm going to go heal relationships with my family that I've estranged for so long while on numbing SSRIs. I'm going to do what I can to make up for lost years. I hope to help others with my experiences in wd and to never give up hope.
off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

#17 gemini

gemini

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 127 posts
  • Locationsan diego, ca

Posted 12 August 2015 - 07:52 PM

Well now that I'm here living with family I realize sometimes cutting off your family of original. Is the healing experience. My family is toxic. I've forgotten how bad they are and the reason I took meds in the first place. I'm in horrible environment right now but will use this time for healing, then get back to work and gtf out, cut off all ties with these psychos, ND be grateful I refused to become like them, that I took the humane/pro humanity and peace path.
off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

#18 cyopher72

cyopher72

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 106 posts
  • LocationMaine

Posted 13 August 2015 - 05:34 AM

beautiful!


AD History
Zoloft (Sertraline) 4/07 - 7/09, Celexa (Citalopram) 7/09 - 10/09 , Zoloft (Sertraline) 11/09 - 4/10 , Pristiq (Desvenlafaxine) 5/10 - 4/15 , Effexor (venlafaxine) 5/15 (2 week taper)

 

Taper 
05/2015 - Effexor (venlafaxine) 75mg  7 days, Effexor (venlafaxine) 37.5mg 7 days.

 

Reinstatement  Effexor (venlafaxine)
05/21/2016 37.5mg 06/01/2016 18.75mg


#19 manymoretodays

manymoretodays

    Gold star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,370 posts
  • LocationSouthwest.....Mountain time

Posted 13 August 2015 - 05:53 AM

I don't know......my biological family is alright.  But only........as I discovered long ago........one at a time please.  Difficult to always do and then for some there is always a spouse involved.  The spouses are actually much easier to deal with.

 

Just had Mom and sister visiting/helping and I feel a lot of regrets now.  I couldn't be who I wanted to be.  I did try to delegate but then it always involved me too much.....to actually get the job done that I had foreseen.  So.......a lot of part acts got started.........better than nothing.  Household, yard, etc. really type stuff.  I ate better, got out more and all that was good.  Thing is.....my Mum is 87......and can't always travel alone.  I would have preferred just her to come.  And then that particular sister......I knew......that she wouldn't really know......what to do......how to help, etc.  I guess it was what it was.  I learned something anyway as far as having subsequent bio family come again.  They are all out of state and it does involve some expense and all too.

 

I know I can say it here.  I am glad they are gone now but also very glad they came, made the effort, wanted to help,.........and they did.

 

I do hope, however, that it never comes down to me having to live with any one of my family members.  That WOULD be torture.

 

It was very difficult, to say the least.  Brought up a lot of emo......neuroemotions and hypercritical and.......Oooof tah.......to the swearing place.now..........

 

Yes, I Love my strangers.  Hugs.


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once?, Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= approx. 1200/day. Magnesium citrate orally,diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C and E.  B12, melatonin 3mcg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=300 mcg. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.

 


#20 gemini

gemini

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 127 posts
  • Locationsan diego, ca

Posted 13 August 2015 - 10:17 AM

My family of origin is not okay. They have severe personality and schizoid behaviors they do not address because maybe they cant. I am going to use them to aid my healing. At least they can give back to humanity this way before they die, i.e., have some use as carbon-based beings with a conscience, such as they have it.
off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

#21 gemini

gemini

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 127 posts
  • Locationsan diego, ca

Posted 13 August 2015 - 10:20 AM

I can't stand these beasts, especially the monstrous daughter of the sister beast!
off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

#22 manymoretodays

manymoretodays

    Gold star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,370 posts
  • LocationSouthwest.....Mountain time

Posted 13 August 2015 - 02:19 PM

"carbon based beings with a conscience"........lol.  Hang on......hang in.  I "should" probably post this in your intro. thread??  IDK.  One of those days.........ayup.....that sister of mine needs an antidiarheal of the mouth medication.......I finally told her it was just "overstim" but before that I am pretty sure I insulted her......not meaning to.....but.........whoooosh.  Might have been a lesson for me however.......I sometimes do ramble on in real life..........have to really stay aware so that I do not.


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once?, Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= approx. 1200/day. Magnesium citrate orally,diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C and E.  B12, melatonin 3mcg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=300 mcg. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.

 


#23 gemini

gemini

    Silver star

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 127 posts
  • Locationsan diego, ca

Posted 13 August 2015 - 02:37 PM

The biggest gift I was given through wd is how meaningful relationships are so important, and taking away the importance of the term "family of origin" as is many times is the case, not meaningful at all and harmful.
off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

#24 manymoretodays

manymoretodays

    Gold star

  • Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 1,370 posts
  • LocationSouthwest.....Mountain time

Posted 15 August 2015 - 10:12 AM

That does sound rough......  I don't suppose they are able to understand much, even if you tell them what you need now either.  Even mine......brief stay here......I couldn't even figure out how to tell them what exactly I needed.  At least no bellowing.  But I did feel really criticized.  Neither of mine were scary though.  Good luck.....try and hide some snacks to eat in private when you can maybe?  Sheesh....


Started with psycho meds circa 1988 I think 27 or 28 total.

AD's, antpsychotics, antiseizure mood stabilizers. Lithium, lamictal,benzos, and stimulants. Some med. for narcolepsy once?, Gabapentin........probably more.  Ask me?......I probably was on it.  Haphazard W/D's by Dr. recommend or uneducated self.

10/2014- off Lexapro--had been on highest dose 10 mg. then 5 mg. for a couple of years, went from 5 mg. to 3 mg. liquid and then CT in hospital(voluntary).  I got out of the hospital on a combination of low dose adderal salts x1/day and trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!

 

3/21/2016---I did some unwise updosing of trileptal/oxcarbazepine with some stressful stuff......doubled the above dose x2 during this last wave but began liquifying again and on approximately 68mg. starting today.  11/12//2016 24 mg. oxcarbazepine  12/9/2016 off oxcarbazepine/trileptal!!!! :) optimistic

Omega3's,EPA +DHA= approx. 1200/day. Magnesium citrate orally,diluted in a liter of H2O(that I can shake up.....it usually dissolves more completely as the water gets down to room temperature) and/or Epsom salt baths prn.   Vit. C and E.  B12, melatonin 3mcg., and bioidentical hormones sublingually.  Trace mineral drops.  L-lysine.  L-methylfolate=300 mcg. Totally ready for a good long window to hit soon and getting better strings of full days and partial days along the way.  Definite improvement overall since I first arrived on the SA survivor ship.  Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.