Update - Reporting on an awesome partial window
I'm having a really great partial window this afternoon. A sudden break from fatigue, which manifests as almost an "awakening" type of moment.
Memory and cognitive function became suddenly enhanced. The head pressure lessened.
I hadn't been listening to as much Mooji lately, as if I didn't need to. Silly Shep. I should know better.
But I returned to it yesterday and this morning and I think that may have lead to this window. When I take a break from this kind of meditation, I tend to do worse.
The weather was warm enough this morning to walk to work, and I practiced "tuning in" when I was walking to work, engaging all 6th of my senses into the walk's narrative. I think a walk is like an animal from mythology. It's a living and breathing experience with the trees, birds, and even the graffiti of the city patterning itself into forms and figures. You just have to pay attention and meet them where they are.
I'm not sure if this is a break in dp/dr or simply a further mastery of it as a skillset. I think the latter, though. There seems to be more "added" to it instead of it leaving, like adding shapes, context, and story to shadows and random voices and bringing them into the narrative.
Last night, I walked home and noticed the tunnel vision was much improved. There were lights in the building windows. Even my own building seems vacant during episodes of tunnel vision (it's a very large building with hundreds of residents, so not likely the case). Usually, I can't see the lights. It's like this abandoned fortress that bends and sways inside a state of derealization and the aftershock of my own brain damage. But last night, the lights were visible. The buildings looked solid, not underwater, more real, less mythical.
So there's definitely an expansion of awareness, the inner night-light of the brain turned down due to brain damage and is now periodically coming on, a brief but poignant look into "memory" and "foresight".
I just hope if the light inside my brain starts working, it won't affect the access into my mind, since that's where mindfulness is stored. For now, the visuals are under control and seem to be less of "hallucinatory" quality and more settled into "narrative" and "context".
Sorry for the word salad. It's the best I could do to describe it.
Locked up and forced onto drugs as a teenager - misdiagnosed manic depressive.
Developed dependency and stayed on cocktails of drugs for nearly 30 years.
My Intro: Shep's Journey
My List of Non-Drug Coping Skills - Non-Drug Coping Toolkit for DP/DR
Last drug cocktail: Seroquel, Halcion, Klonopin, Sonata, Vibrydd, and Dexetrine
After 30 years of polydrug use, completely med free May 22, 2015.
Remaining symptoms: dp/dr with memory problems and insomnia
I am not a medical professional, and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.