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☼ Ten0275: I'm Dave and I'm almost there


ten0275

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Dave, welcome to SA. Thank you for sharing your story with us, you have come a long way and it sounds

like you have really suffered along the way! 

Well done for getting where you are, you will be free of the remeron one day and have you brain back healthy

and alert once again. I can imagine that you can't remember what it feels like to be without drugs or the effects

of withdrawal after being started on meds so very young.

 

I would take that last 2ml very very slowly to ensure that you don't end up with withdrawal. In our experience the

last little bit can be very hard. You would think that it would be ok to jump off that last mg but it isn't, it is unbelievable

how bad the withdrawal can be from such a small amount!  Make tiny cuts of 10% of the current dose with at least 4

weeks between the cuts. Don't make another cut until you have stabilised from the last one, even if that is several

weeks or even months, that way you will be less likely to go into withdrawal when you take the last drop. 

 

Could you list the drugs you have had and the doses, plus when you started/stopped. If you put them into your

signature strip it will be there for everyone to see at the bottom of your posts, and understand what you have gone through 

and overcome, without having to read back through your thread.

This thread tells you how to do that. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/ 

 

It's good to have you with us.  :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Dave.

 

It sounds like maybe your body needs a hold on tapering for now, to settle down from the drug changes.

 

Then, you may wish to reduce by 5%, to avoid those withdrawal symptoms you're still getting. You might want to try this for a month or so. If it goes well, you might be able to make a 5% reduction every 3 weeks or even every 2 weeks.

 

I think you have a very important message for those who are tapering! Thank you for joining us.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

mammaP, hello.

thank you for the kind and warm welcome. you are right. i have no recollection of what it feels like to be without the drugs, or the effects of withdrawal. sometimes new emotions come to me and i realize that i am actually beginning to feel things. it is startling and wonderful all at once.
per your suggestion, i've listed my recent drug history. prior to 1996, i was given many drugs including parnate, paxil, prozac, zoloft, and others that i cannot now recall. i wouldn't be able to list the dates of those medications, but simply note that i was started on medication sometime in the early 80s. i've done as best i can for the signature, especially with the space constraint.

Altostrata, hi to you as well.

thank you also for the welcome and the wise advice. both you and mammaP have reminded me how delicate i need to be, especially as i find myself at the lower doses. just yesterday, i got a refill of my liquid remeron and requested a 1ml syringe. i will absolutely hold as long as necessary. also, i appreciate very much your suggestion of the 5% every 3 weeks, or possibly 2. i do believe i will approach that method.

i hope to contribute as i can to this site and also, i will keep updating as i continue on my way off the drugs.

thank you both for the welcome and words. very much appreciated.

dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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Some of the things you wrote not many people had but I did and I find it still odd that I can be set back to the memory of it...I was too ill for the first 8 months to read .. that early time I have not talked about much but find your truths are giving them voice congratulations on giving them a voice and for working wow I am very impressed.  Welcome.  I wish you peace. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • Moderator

Hi ten-- welcome to the group--  Having my emotions start to come back after many years of being drugged is a really scary experience.  Nice thing is that they come back slowly so they can be explored, rediscovered and learned about so you can understand and manage them.  I see coming out of my drug coma as a second chance at life, a time to review and examine all the things I thought I believed and make changes to things I didn't get right the first time around.  In a way we are the lucky ones in that we get this chance, kinda a cleansing by fire if you may.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

btdt and brassmonkey, hello.

i'd like to thank you both for the welcome and for checking out my introduction. thank you for reading the thing, it means a lot. even though many of the heaviest symptoms have either disappeared completely or lessened greatly in intensity, i still feel physiological changes when i write about them. and sometimes i still cry. disbelief remains, even as my own private storm is passing. i can't help but think that when we emerge from something as engulfing and life-altering as withdrawal, the reverberations trigger these responses, ongoing for some duration. perhaps a sort of ptsd.

i've been spending a good deal of time reading introductions on this site. one thing that strikes me is the level of compassion here that is generated for one another. we share the common desire to be free of suffering and see others free from theirs. reading the individual stories on this site is very powerful and it has moved me greatly. the connection to, and validation of, others' pain seems to be a way of honoring the truth of our suffering, both individual and collective. i wish i had more to say to people sometimes, could help more, but the compassion is intensely felt.

oh, and brassmonkey, "kinda a cleansing by fire." i think there is real truth in that. a clarity emerges. beyond teaching us the disastrous effects of pharmaceutical negligence, we see ourselves as the fragile and ecosystem-like humans we are. and in that fragility that is not weakness, there is a constant discovery of the mettle and fortitude to push forward. just showing up to this site daily proves this community's desire to see themselves, and their brothers and sisters in arms, to the other side of the struggles. so many strong people here. so much respect.

thanks again. your responses brightened my day.

hang in there.

dave

ps- general update. dropped from 2.2mg to 2mg remeron 12/6. two weeks out from the cut tomorrow, and the symptoms are setting in. i've surely cut too much, despite it being 10%. i will be more conservative in future cuts. but for now, it is burning sensations, nausea, the waltz of some moderate anxiety and depression, and some head pressure. i feel positive though. and it's friday, hooray - i can hunker down and ride it out.

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi dave,

after reading your general update above, I was going to suggest something but then saw that Alto had already suggested it:

 

It sounds like maybe your body needs a hold on tapering for now, to settle down from the drug changes.

 

Then, you may wish to reduce by 5%, to avoid those withdrawal symptoms you're still getting. You might want to try this for a month or so. If it goes well, you might be able to make a 5% reduction every 3 weeks or even every 2 weeks.

 

 

Thank you for sharing your story, I'm sorry for everything you have been through and I'm glad you have found our little community so that we can keep you company as you complete your taper.

 

I hope you feel better soon after you last cut. Many people find that they really need to slow down as the dose gets lower.

 

Petu.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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" i can't help but think that when we emerge from something as engulfing and life-altering as withdrawal, the reverberations trigger these responses, ongoing for some duration. perhaps a sort of ptsd."

 

There are ongoing issues after the last drop in dose for most people so expect it. Some have gradual return of emotions some have dumping that could be somewhat like is identified in ptsd either way I am sure there will be some people here that can identify and help you through whatever is ahead.  Living in the NOW as best I can is what I intend to do and I could not always do still can't but I strive for it.  

I hope you think about going slower as the dose get lower I have seen some people delay drops and lower drops both near the end.  There is a theory I am not sure it is a proven thing or not at this point I can't recall but it is this...

The drugs change how the body metabolizes the drug so as your dose gets lower the liver works more efficiently and the small amount of drug has a larger affect ... sorry if it is all ass backwards I am not perfect and not trying to get it perfect just give you a general idea why some think the dose needs to go slower near the end.  I am sure if this is of interest to you to have the facts on it some person smarter with a better memory than I can answer you questions.  I am good for the gist of things mostly.  

peace to you

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Petu, hey.

 

It's sound advice, for certain. I'm going to hold for awhile this time, New Year, new start. I really don't want to do anything to screw this up. I think about it a lot. Failing, crashing and burning. There is a lot of fear about coming to the end of my taper. I've been on psychotropics since before I can remember. I'll turn 40 in the coming year. The halfway mark of most modern life expectancies. I want the second half to be unclouded by the haze of chemicals, in appreciation of the time I have left. Having true emotions is intense. My brain struggles to comprehend them. It's kind of a full time job. I'm glad for it though. Very. I feel fortunate to have made it this far. I want to see this through. Thank you, and all, for being there. It means a megaton.

Btdt, thank you for your words. I appreciate you thinking about me and my situation.

Hang in there.

Dave

 

P.s. Awoke with decidedly less anxiety this morning, the cortisol dissipated soon after the iPod put some music in my ears and the coffee did its thing. I think it's going to be a better day. May everyone's day be a better one.

 

Ps.s. From the poor-humor department. I think the day after Christmas, I'm going to go for a cold turkey... Sandwich! Leftovers of course.

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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:) hahaha :) 

I wonder why it is called that?

"

In the state of drug withdrawal the addict's blood is directed to the internal organs, leaving the skin white and with goose bumps. It has been suggested that this is what is alluded to by 'cold turkey'"

oh my why do I always have to know... things. 

peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Wow. I had the worst night in about a year and a half last night. I am a little over three weeks out from my last cut - I cut from 2.2mg Remeron to 2mg. Fell asleep fine, woke up after about 2 hours. This wake up was around 10:30pm. I could not return to sleep. My mind was racing, I was sweating, I felt truly horrid. Nearly vomited. Nonstop urination. I have not experienced this intensity in so long. I think these last 2mgs are going to be some serious business. I am dreading the coming night. I am traveling and don't have my usual safety zone which does not help. Hopefully it won't be a repeat. I am not ready for another night in the pit. Thanks for listening. I will definitely hold for some time. I want to be done so bad. Patience...the hard won ally.

 

Dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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I am so sorry you had such a horrible night; I can only imagine how hard it has been away from home as well.  Holding sounds like a really good idea.  I hope you get some relief very soon!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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Hey Dave,

Sorry to hear about your bad night!hopefully there won't be a repeat!

Happy New Year!

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Sorry you had a bad night Dave,  and hope you manage to get some good sleep tonight. It's 

awful when you are sleep deprived, everything seems so much worse.  I would hold for a few 

more weeks before cutting again to allow your brain and nervous system  to catch up and stabilise. 

Hope you feel better soon. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Hi Dave

 

Well done you're nearly there just take it slowly and have longer holds in this last 2 mg

 

I'm at 3.6 mg remeron going to stay here for a good while as there is no hurry and think slowness is going to be tho key for me. I also found higher doses way to activating I would talk a mile minute and feel like climbing trees lol! And also been non functional too I'm just worried I'm never going to get past these last few mg as I've failed in the past and kept having to up dose.

 

Did you find your symptoms morphed and changed at the lower doses? Mine have gone from stomach problems and anxiety to more having trouble functioning and getting my thoughts straight and feeling stressed. Think this may be because my cortisol is getting high but who knows.

 

Anyway cheers for your post it gives me hope I can do it too

 

Lolly

Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME

did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg

2 months drug Free awful withdrawal

May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg

August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg

December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while

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Thank you, so much, for your messages of support. It's 1816 hours and I am doing my best not to advance-freak-out before it's time for me to fall out. I feel slightly revved and that feels uncool. I'm going to try some push-ups in my room here, drink some water, and try to hit a mellow with some Beatles or Scott Walker on the iPod. I'll dose w/ my 2mg of Remeron at about 2000 hours. I may hit up the magnesium glycinate tonight as well. Last night felt like throwing bricks at my soul. Please sleep, come to me, come to us all tonight.

Lolly, absolutely. The symptoms have morphed in a major way. When I started at 30mg, it was like my brain was crackling. I revved like an engine out of control. Anxiety reigned, I had some pretty intense energy, felt oversexualized, too much energy in my body. As I've decreased, this has lessened. Same with the gastro issues. They have dissipated. This is the first taste of some serious revving I have had in some time. It's unnerving. I always fear returning to the nonstop horror. It is like a hot ghost that always hangs with me. I don't ever want to return to the constant intensity. Wantrelief, mammap, tgirl, lolly... Thank you for considering me and hang in there yourselves...

I love this site and am thankful for you all.

 

Dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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I can't agree with u more I hated the revved up feelings that would go from energy/adrenaline to anxiety of another level that doesn't have a off switch. I still get it but no where near as bad. Good you have you can exercise maybe it burns off the energy.

 

Hope it doesn't escalate too much keep us posted

 

Lolly

Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME

did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg

2 months drug Free awful withdrawal

May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg

August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg

December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while

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Thank you, Lolly. It's funny how the psychological side of this works. It is helpful to hear from you, I feel calmer knowing there is kind support here. It is so appreciated and it is palpable. I wish I were home tonight. Tomorrow is my travel day and if there are no delays, I'll be back in my own place tomorrow pm.

 

I will report back.

 

I hope all SA community members have a night of minimal or no discomfort. My best to everyone. I'm going to dose now and hope for the best.

 

Dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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Update. I got some sleep last night, thank goodness. Woke up with a splitting headache and a really bad tummy. Puked a few times, even during the four hour trip, but have arrived home and will now

Crash

Crash

Crash...

I have no idea where the onslaught of symptoms have come from. Getting through them as I can though.

 

Dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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Hi Dave--

 

Just read through your story. So glad you joined us. You've really been through the wringer, especially starting so young.

 

I think you're going to do fine, but please be really patient now, take a couple of years to get off that last 2 mg. I know it sounds impossible, but going slow at the end is absolutely the key. So many people have seen that finish line and pushed for it and ended up back on meds. I see it over and over and over and over again. You seem to have the determination and intelligence to really do this; use that to summon up the patience to really do it slowly.

 

Holds are amazing. I have become convinced that holds are just as important a key to success as the right size and timing of cuts. I think a three-month hold right now would do you a lot of good, if you would consider it. It gives your body time to really adjust and get in there and do some healing that it just can't do while we're continuing to reduce. While you're reducing your body/brain is just pedaling fast to adapt. I think from time to time it really needs to do more than that, to do some deeper healing that only a long hold will allow. So please consider giving that a try.

 

Hopefully this bad wobble is due to some kind of stomach bug--there's a lot of stuff going around, and you've been traveling so exposed to stuff probably. Don't know what part of the country you're in but out here in the NW there's a stomach bug going around.

 

Anyway, so glad to meet you and glad you're here.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Rhi, hello, and thank you very much for your thoughtful reply, for taking the time. I will most certainly consider a prolonged taper. I am excited to be finished, but not in a huge rush. And there is no way I want to precipitate anything that would cause me to backtrack. I think a three month hold sounds rational. Start from a clean slate at 2mg in March, and start cutting again.

 

In terms of the tummy stuff, you may well be right that it is a bug/virus of some sort. I woke up this morning and knew right away that I was in for it. About 10 minutes before departure, I heard "the voice." You know, the voice down there that basically says you have about 20 seconds to find the nearest toilet, to kneel before the porcelain goddess, and revisit your dietary intake of the 6 or so hours prior. I did a lot of porcelain goddess worshiping today. TMI, sorry :) I have the worst headache today. Very migraine-like.

 

Read your story too, Rhi. Whoa... Very intense. It is so cool of you to moderate. You can speak from that center of intensity. Foxhole comrades.

 

Thanks again.

 

Dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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I hope 2015 brings all of you closer to healing and that your suffering ceases. I am thankful for this site, the efforts of the moderators, and the individual journeys of everyone who shows up on this site.

Please be well.

My very best wishes,

Dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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Happy New Year Dave. I hope the next year brings you continued healing and recovery.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Dave - just read your story. Blew me away.

 

I have crashed many many times after getting to zero. I now realise, from this site, that the last few mgs need to be tapered very slowly. I have been terrified of getting to zero again, but now I feel relieved and excited to think that if I go much slower on these last bits, that this time I could actually make it. I hope you stabilise soon. Glad to have your company on this journey down.

 

Happy New Year!

Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989.  Recovered.   Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000.   Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero.   Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me.   Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal.   Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever.  Feeling good:).

7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg

28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg

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Hi Dave how's it going? Was it a virus or withdrawal.. Keep us posted.

 

Hope you are doing well

 

Lolly

Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME

did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg

2 months drug Free awful withdrawal

May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg

August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg

December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while

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Lolly, hi.

 

Thank you for posting, for inquiring. It was the cut - I feel certain of that now. The symptoms were a total, temporary re-visitation of all the yuckiness I experienced in early withdrawal. I am going to hold in here @ 2mg until I am stable as a cornerstone.

As luck, or lack of it, would have it, I now actually do have the flu - like the real deal. In-flu-enz-ugh... :( No tummy issues, but chills, aches, etc. It is exacerbating symptoms, but at least I know what's going on.

I hope you are doing well too. I hope everyone is. I have the highest admiration for everyone here.

Thanks again, and stay in touch.

 

Dave (insert sniffles here)

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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Ps.. Ever and Brassmonkey (that funky monkey), thanks for the New Year Wishes! Made me smile! And tidings returned, with interest accrued.

Dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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You are getting there :)

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

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Aw poor you :( you have my full sympathy as I had exactly the same over Xmas.. the worst flu I'd had in years it made my withdrawal so much worse and the stress of it made me take ages to recover. Try to just rest your body completely and ride it out without pushing yourself too hard. Won't be long till your back to some sort of normality.

 

So I'm in holding mode now for a while too. My body certainly needs a rest from it all.

Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME

did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg

2 months drug Free awful withdrawal

May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg

August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg

December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while

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Hi ten,

 

I read your story, your certainly are strong.

I have a similar story and at a point where I am trying to stabilise on the mirt.

 

It is very intense for me at the moment, I am sleeping pretty good but the daytime is hell. Like you feel stuck on the mirt hoping to stabilise but feel totally ramped, suicidal thoughts, you name it.

 

How long did you persist with the mirt after stopping your other meds before you felt like tapering.

 

I feel like you did, don't feel like I'm gonna stabilise on mirt but stuck on it. Just awfull!!

 

Cheers, Mark

Started diazepam when needed june2013

Various antidepressants citalopram, sertraline amytriptaline upto nov2013

Dependant on diazepam 3 mg daily with amitryptaline 10mg march2014

Start of June Changed to mirtazapine 15mg then 30mg for about 2weeks while fast taper from diazepam .5mg a week.

Back down to 15mg mirtazapine and down to 1 mg diazepam end of June.

During July tried to stop mirtazapine 7.5mg for 2 weeks then off still on 1 mg diazepam.

August back on 15mg mirtazapine down to 0.8mg diazepam

End of August escitalopram 10mg tried to cross taper from 15mg mirtazapine cut to 7.5 for 2 weeks but couldn't still 0.8 diazepam. 10/11/2014 Jumped from diazepam cutting .2 every 2weeks

10 weeks on 10mg escitalopram felt crazy!! Down to 5mg for 2 weeks and off (dreadfull mind changing) off 17/11/14

17/11/14Trying to stabise on 15mg mirtazapine

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Welcome Dave!!!

 

I haven't posted in months, generally being doing well with remeron taper. Down to 3 mg. Man am I glad you joined this exceptional online community! Seriously! I was curious and worried about you. You were such an inspirational voice to so many on a different site which I stumbled across earlier when I began researching Mirtazapine withdrawal. People like you and Wulfgar and Dalsaan from this site were absolute beacons of light when I was really struggling. I can't thank you enough. This site and its members will benefit immensely from your addition as will you from the experience and knowledge of Alto and the "mods". They are the best.

 

You made my day

 

Bayboy

<p>Dec 2012 - Some benzo's, some AD's for PTSD induced anxiety and insomnia

August 2013 - things go south with benzo (Klonipin), tolerance withdrawal, REALLY SICK, AD's (effexor/citalopram) added for "reset"!?!?, EVEN SICKER

Dec 2013 - RESEARCH begins…located Ashton manual (first breakthrough), my A-HA moment = benzo + too fast WD of other meds caused this mess...

Jan 2014 - convinced to take Mirtazapine 15-30 mg to help with Klonipin/ temazepam/ Citalopram taper, hit with wd symptoms but powered through

Feb 2014- stopped Klonopinipin (too quick taper but was destroying CNS) -, more wd symptoms but masked by Mirtazapine

March 2014 - silly ct attempt of 30mg Mirt , HORRIBLE hwd, no sleep, lasted 1 month, found this site (second breakthrough), armed with new knowledge, began proper slow taper of Mirtazapine and doing exponentially better, roughly 10% of each dose, and some long holds!

April 2014 - reinstate 7.5 mg Mirt, (30 day hold then slow taper for rest of year, took months to stabilize)

Jan 2015 - 3 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2016 - 1.87 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2017 - 0.37 mg (slow taper continues)

Aug 27, 2017 - 0 mg (JUMPED from 0.12 mg) - DRUG FREE!

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Lolly, hi.

 

Thank you for posting, for inquiring. It was the cut - I feel certain of that now. The symptoms were a total, temporary re-visitation of all the yuckiness I experienced in early withdrawal. I am going to hold in here @ 2mg until I am stable as a cornerstone.

As luck, or lack of it, would have it, I now actually do have the flu - like the real deal. In-flu-enz-ugh... :( No tummy issues, but chills, aches, etc. It is exacerbating symptoms, but at least I know what's going on.

I hope you are doing well too. I hope everyone is. I have the highest admiration for everyone here.

Thanks again, and stay in touch.

 

Dave (insert sniffles here)

 

LOL--thanks for the sniffle grins. Anyone who can make me laugh when they have the flu has a true gift.

 

Yuck, the flu! I had it Christmas week. My thoughts are with you.

 

Thanks for your comments to me back up yonder. Foxhole comrades, indeed. I like it.

 

:-)

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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lolly, hi. oh yeah, this particular flu is brutal - the first i've experienced in 14 years. sorry you too had to weather it. i'm burning at about 3 scorching degrees above normal body temperature. last night was a sleepless fever-on/fever-break/fever-on sweat-fest, and the muscle aches are tremendous. oh, and the nasty dry cough. glad you too are holding in the aftermath. i will do the same thing. i am still learning to treat my body like the precise yet delicate machine it is. thanks for your sympathy. hopefully i'll pull out of this thing in the next day or two and start seeing some light.

mark (givemepeace), thanks for checking in man. really nice to make your acquaintance, though i wish you weren't on the mirt roller-coaster at all. i'm glad you are logging some sleep, that is key. that totally ramped feeling was experienced by me at 15mg too. even though 15mg and below are acknowledged as the less activating, more sedating doses, i still felt a lot of regularly experienced rev at 15mg - we're all different (anyone ever said that on this site before? ha!). and the suicidal ideation too - horrid. so, to answer your other question, i tapered the mirt in swoops/passes. after the benzo mess/cessation, i waited about 3 to 4 months before i started knocking down that mirt from 30mg to 15mg. i could literally feel my brain sizzle on 30mg, i was revving like rocket-booster, so it was a painful, but necessary series of drops. once i got to 15mg, i held for awhile and then really got dutiful about getting from 15mg to 7.5mg. after 7.5mg, i have been taking my sweet-ass-time, man. i want off, but i know i can't rush it. i'd take a shake of your suffering for a day if it worked that way, but it doesn't - i feel you though. really appreciate you taking the time to write. hang in there and keep in touch.

bayboy, hello! thank you for that kind and enthusiastic welcome. i'm glad some of the notations i made elsewhere helped you pull through some dark nights and days. it does me real good to know that. i'm glad to be here! i've been doing solidly with the cutting as well, though due to some recent flu-issues and perhaps a premature cut, i've been feeling some UGH. but i do believe it will right itself. it's cool to be walking with you in the last stretch. let's get there and shoot-the-curl, shredding smart all the way. stay in touch!

rhi, i could hear that laugh resound back to the eastern seaboard :) glad i could precipitate it. absolute Foxhole comrades. we hunker down, we share the incoming, push back as we can, and at the end of the day we'll be veterans victoriously returning back to the lives we deserve. i believe that.

 

i'm going to climb under the covers now and try to sweat this thing out of me; sweat like James Brown, funky-flu town.

hang in there everyone. my very best to each of you.

dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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ps. joannad - i so needed to hear that yesterday! and straight outta inverness to boot... thank you!

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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Ugh the flu :( if doctors are right I just finished 2 bouts of it or it came back on me after we thought it was gone.  May the force be with you... wishing you peace B

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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