Frustrated Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 In the midst of a flu bug right now. Feel extra horrible. Sorry man. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Givemepeace Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Hi ten, Do you have many symptoms now you are stabilised. What about the dreadful mornings, did you have that inner tremor/agitation. G Started diazepam when needed june2013 Various antidepressants citalopram, sertraline amytriptaline upto nov2013 Dependant on diazepam 3 mg daily with amitryptaline 10mg march2014 Start of June Changed to mirtazapine 15mg then 30mg for about 2weeks while fast taper from diazepam .5mg a week. Back down to 15mg mirtazapine and down to 1 mg diazepam end of June. During July tried to stop mirtazapine 7.5mg for 2 weeks then off still on 1 mg diazepam. August back on 15mg mirtazapine down to 0.8mg diazepam End of August escitalopram 10mg tried to cross taper from 15mg mirtazapine cut to 7.5 for 2 weeks but couldn't still 0.8 diazepam. 10/11/2014 Jumped from diazepam cutting .2 every 2weeks 10 weeks on 10mg escitalopram felt crazy!! Down to 5mg for 2 weeks and off (dreadfull mind changing) off 17/11/14 17/11/14Trying to stabise on 15mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 7, 2015 btdt and frustrated, thanks for the compassion - much appreciated. it sounds like you both have recent/current and direct experience with this year's flu to know how nastybombasty it is. i am happy to report that this morning, i have gone from hot sweats to cold sweats which means that it, the flu, is burning itself out. burn baby, burn. i feel markedly less achy this morning and the headache has abated some. moving in the right direction. good to hear from you both!givemepeace, hi.when i stabilize, symptoms come very sporadically in isolated incidents - instead of the massive blocks of time (24/7) that they used to occupy. in terms of the dreadful mornings - and oh man, do i remember the inner tremor/agitation - that has pretty much left the scene altogether. i think that as you slowly and carefully descend down dose-wise, you are going to find the exact same thing. i know we're all different, but improvement is a reality. i might have a few cortisol-rev-mornings in the first two weeks of a cut - but beyond that, it has almost abated altogether. i never ever thought it would, as i assumed that i was an outlier case that would not heal. those dreadful mornings will abate. i should also mention that even when i have them now in isolated occurrences, they last a fairly short amount of time - an hour to two hours max - then everything settles. it used to be a very long-lasting horror-show. this whole experience has shifted my threshold for pain. nothing hurts me like it used to. i hope this gives you some peace. it is precisely how it happened for me.hang in there and stay in touch.dave 1 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Givemepeace Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Thanks Dave, What you wrote today has settled me a little, those two are my biggies, along with the suicidal ideation. Still trying to come to turns with this one, did you ever get like an urge to do something but it's the last thing you really want to do..... If that makes sense. Like an inner rage if you like.....so hard to explain. Started diazepam when needed june2013 Various antidepressants citalopram, sertraline amytriptaline upto nov2013 Dependant on diazepam 3 mg daily with amitryptaline 10mg march2014 Start of June Changed to mirtazapine 15mg then 30mg for about 2weeks while fast taper from diazepam .5mg a week. Back down to 15mg mirtazapine and down to 1 mg diazepam end of June. During July tried to stop mirtazapine 7.5mg for 2 weeks then off still on 1 mg diazepam. August back on 15mg mirtazapine down to 0.8mg diazepam End of August escitalopram 10mg tried to cross taper from 15mg mirtazapine cut to 7.5 for 2 weeks but couldn't still 0.8 diazepam. 10/11/2014 Jumped from diazepam cutting .2 every 2weeks 10 weeks on 10mg escitalopram felt crazy!! Down to 5mg for 2 weeks and off (dreadfull mind changing) off 17/11/14 17/11/14Trying to stabise on 15mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 7, 2015 um... YES! welcome to the wild world of intrusive thoughts. check this - i literally just posted it for ThinkPink's thread: YES! oh, i had these intrusives terribly - horridly! they weren't just thoughts - it was like this very physical-feeling pull to drive off the road, jump in front of a car or train, swallow a razor, etc. mine stretched into other weird things like the intrusive thought to throw hot tea on co-workers as i walked past their desks, drive my car into groups of people, etc. it was my WORST symptom. it was terrifying. and guess what - it went away. it is totally a manifestation of withdrawal. it is almost like a form of withdrawal-induced OCD. hang in there. i'll tell you one thing that helped me. a wise person once told me that the people who have the thoughts and think there is nothing wrong with them, those are the ones who should be worried about them. you know the thoughts are messed up - you wouldn't be talking about them if you thought they were normal. that should be VERY assuring to you. i had some of the most god-awful thoughts. they scared me to death. i never acted on a one. and if you didn't have the thoughts before withdrawal, it is unlikely you will have them after. they have gone for me. but they used to be a 24/7 torturer.... hang in there. dave 1 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted January 7, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 7, 2015 Hi Dave This is my first visit to your thread. Nice to meet you. I appreciate the support you are giving to the community As a fellow remeron traveller I have to say, slowly does it. I have had to hold longer in these last few mls than ever before and I'm just exploring ways to drop less than .1. There is a post that explains why here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6036-why-taper-paper-demonstrates-importance-of-gradual-change-in-plasma-concentration/ Take care Dalsaan Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
Givemepeace Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Thank you Dave, God I am so glad to have met you. What you have told me the last few days has really helped me understand this beast a lot more. This symptom is the worst and when it comes I feel like I'm trying to escape from my inner self!! Deep down I know I won't act on these but buy god they certainly s..t me up. I never had these thoughts until medication, just poxy panic attacks. Wish I would have found cbt first before the meds! Keep healing Dave...and thank you so much for your words the last few days, you really don't know what it means to me.......actually you probably do!! Thank you Started diazepam when needed june2013 Various antidepressants citalopram, sertraline amytriptaline upto nov2013 Dependant on diazepam 3 mg daily with amitryptaline 10mg march2014 Start of June Changed to mirtazapine 15mg then 30mg for about 2weeks while fast taper from diazepam .5mg a week. Back down to 15mg mirtazapine and down to 1 mg diazepam end of June. During July tried to stop mirtazapine 7.5mg for 2 weeks then off still on 1 mg diazepam. August back on 15mg mirtazapine down to 0.8mg diazepam End of August escitalopram 10mg tried to cross taper from 15mg mirtazapine cut to 7.5 for 2 weeks but couldn't still 0.8 diazepam. 10/11/2014 Jumped from diazepam cutting .2 every 2weeks 10 weeks on 10mg escitalopram felt crazy!! Down to 5mg for 2 weeks and off (dreadfull mind changing) off 17/11/14 17/11/14Trying to stabise on 15mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted January 7, 2015 Moderator Share Posted January 7, 2015 Hi Givemepeace We were just talking about this over on Thinkpinks thread, you may want to drop in and take a look. (I tried to give you a kink but it won't paste). 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Ever Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 (I tried to give you a kink but it won't paste). LOLOLOLOL - thanks for that laugh Tom! Sorry to hijack your thread Dave - I'm following your thread as it's so inspiring. Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989. Recovered. Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000. Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero. Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me. Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal. Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever. Feeling good:). 7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg 28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 7, 2015 dalsaan, hey to you down under. it's nice to meet you too, and thank you for visiting my thread and saying hello. ah, another foxhole comrade in the withdrawal from mirtazapine. look at you all low at 1.3mg i agree with your "slowly does it." and i am in no great rush really. i want off eventually, but i don't want to make things worse by rushing the process. as the beastie boys said in their 1986 song "slow and low" of the license to ill record, Let it flow, let yourself goSlow and low, that is the tempoLet it flow, let yourself goSlow and low, that is the tempo givemepeace, you are very welcome. it was my worst symptom too. you're good. and it is very cool that you didn't have the thoughts before the drugs. you didn't all of the sudden just end up with "harm OCD" and intrusive thoughts! it is a withdrawal effect. it'll go. like you, i was "treating" straight-up anxiety too. the only positive about this whole period of anguish for me - the anxiety that once pushed me to seek prescriptions doesn't seem so bad anymore. after you get through withdrawal, nothing seems quite so bad. you'll get there. stay in touch, anytime. ever, tom's attempted KINK was the first ever thrown at me. dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
btdt Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Thank you Dave, God I am so glad to have met you. What you have told me the last few days has really helped me understand this beast a lot more. This symptom is the worst and when it comes I feel like I'm trying to escape from my inner self!! Deep down I know I won't act on these but buy god they certainly s..t me up. I never had these thoughts until medication, just poxy panic attacks. Wish I would have found cbt first before the meds! Keep healing Dave...and thank you so much for your words the last few days, you really don't know what it means to me.......actually you probably do!! Thank you "This symptom is the worst and when it comes I feel like I'm trying to escape from my inner self!!" This is not your inner self...or real self this is withdrawal and has nothing to do with self... I know how you feel these thoughts in withdrawal and on other psych drugs is what kept me drugged for 18 years... such a horrid waste of a life. Once I learned the truth I would usually pray... to take my mind off it a positive distraction for me... then say that is an Effexor withdrawal thought or simply Effexor thought. A lot of really painful crap comes with withdrawal and these drugs but it will end ..please know this is not "yourself but a drug induced reaction" Think of the things we use to hear about the horrors of street drug in my opinion all those things apply to these drugs. Flashbacks included. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Givemepeace Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 Thank you Dave, God I am so glad to have met you. What you have told me the last few days has really helped me understand this beast a lot more. This symptom is the worst and when it comes I feel like I'm trying to escape from my inner self!! Deep down I know I won't act on these but buy god they certainly s..t me up. I never had these thoughts until medication, just poxy panic attacks. Wish I would have found cbt first before the meds! Keep healing Dave...and thank you so much for your words the last few days, you really don't know what it means to me.......actually you probably do!! Thank you "This symptom is the worst and when it comes I feel like I'm trying to escape from my inner self!!"This is not your inner self...or real self this is withdrawal and has nothing to do with self... I know how you feel these thoughts in withdrawal and on other psych drugs is what kept me drugged for 18 years... such a horrid waste of a life. Once I learned the truth I would usually pray... to take my mind off it a positive distraction for me... then say that is an Effexor withdrawal thought or simply Effexor thought. A lot of really painful crap comes with withdrawal and these drugs but it will end ..please know this is not "yourself but a drug induced reaction" Think of the things we use to hear about the horrors of street drug in my opinion all those things apply to these drugs. Flashbacks included. I wish you peace. Today has been a big learning curve for me. I feel as though a big wait has been taken away from me. These thoughts were so confusing....I was fighting them......trying to solve......trying to think happy......just over thinking. I now feel like I can let them be......I have tagged them my drug thoughts!! Thank you guys. G Started diazepam when needed june2013 Various antidepressants citalopram, sertraline amytriptaline upto nov2013 Dependant on diazepam 3 mg daily with amitryptaline 10mg march2014 Start of June Changed to mirtazapine 15mg then 30mg for about 2weeks while fast taper from diazepam .5mg a week. Back down to 15mg mirtazapine and down to 1 mg diazepam end of June. During July tried to stop mirtazapine 7.5mg for 2 weeks then off still on 1 mg diazepam. August back on 15mg mirtazapine down to 0.8mg diazepam End of August escitalopram 10mg tried to cross taper from 15mg mirtazapine cut to 7.5 for 2 weeks but couldn't still 0.8 diazepam. 10/11/2014 Jumped from diazepam cutting .2 every 2weeks 10 weeks on 10mg escitalopram felt crazy!! Down to 5mg for 2 weeks and off (dreadfull mind changing) off 17/11/14 17/11/14Trying to stabise on 15mg mirtazapine Link to comment
btdt Posted January 7, 2015 Share Posted January 7, 2015 good idea peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 7, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 7, 2015 Perfect, G! Don't try to fight, solve, or rationalize them. That can't be achieved with nonsense thoughts like these. They're like fireworks bursting against the canvas of a blank sky. Let them pop all they want and evaporate into the nothingness from which they came. You nailed it: label them "drug thoughts" and let them evaporate. In the near -future, they'll be replaced with more, but one day you'll find you labeled a " drug thought" and another didn't come to follow. Believe in that, hang in there, keep up the great work! Dave 1 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted January 7, 2015 Moderator Share Posted January 7, 2015 Very well put Dave. It is one of the big keys to making it through WD and one you can't be taught, you have to learn for yourself. Ever-- I washed my hands this morning and can't do a thing with them. I'm just trying to carry on the tradition of typing inappropriate things that I started elsewhere. BTW Dave, your avatar picture is kinds cute. LOL Givemepeace-- That is a major lesson and one that will be very useful throughout WD and the rest of your life. Well done on picking it up. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 8, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 8, 2015 Hahaha, thanks for the laugh, man. I figured a photoshop of me under a deluge of water seemed apropos for this journey, damn... Glamour Shots By Dave. LOL for sure. Thanks for at least attempting to send me the "kink." The way Ever framed it, I took it as high compliment, Tom. ???? OK, my brothers and sisters in arms, I need to crash. Any vibes sent this way for an end to this fever and flu would be appreciated utmost. Tomorrow, come softly... Night... Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted January 8, 2015 Member Share Posted January 8, 2015 As a fellow remeron traveller I have to say, slowly does it. I have had to hold longer in these last few mls than ever before and I'm just exploring ways to drop less than .1. There is a post that explains why here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6036-why-taper-paper-demonstrates-importance-of-gradual-change-in-plasma-concentration/ Bumping Dalsaans post. That article might be extremely important for you to read. You seem intelligent and very articulate, I think you'll understand it. mammaP's story illustrates it perfectly. She is now down to ONE BEAD of her drug and was getting a return of symptoms just by virtue of differences in bead SIZE. I am not sure if it is still the case but you might want to read the later parts of her thread about what happened. Good healing to you! What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 8, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 8, 2015 cymbaltawithdrawal5600, hey. thank you for checking in. very cool of you to bump dalsaan's post. i had actually read that article a short time before joining the site, it has been a good refresher to revisit it now. and... it makes perfect sense. i actually made that chart my screensaver for a short while when i first came across it, ha! a total epiphany moment. one thing i have not done is extensively read mammaP's post and i will commence to doing so. thanks for the well-wishes, and i wish you good healing as well.hang in there. dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
lolly Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 So I'm having a really bad time this cut its been about 5 weeks and I just can't stabilize my head and body are all over the place and it's worsening an existing illness I have. Having real trouble even typing this... I hate to moan I'm normally a fighter!! So do I up dose? Think I probably will my last drop was from 3.8 to 3.6 so I'm thinking maybe try upping to 3.7 feel so defeated all of this time I spent fighting will go to waste.. Sorry to be on a downer! Help much appreciated Lolly Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg 2 months drug Free awful withdrawal May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 9, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 9, 2015 Lolly, hey, whoa... I am super-sorry to hear this news. You are not being a downer, just being honest and that is cool. This is tough. How long have you been @ that dose? You cut early December? And you were fairly conservative; less than 10%. Personally, the few times I've had to upD, I've done so no further out than 3 weeks. Past that, I grit my teeth and bear because upping any further out from that has done me no good. Just my experience. What's your gut feeling? You think if you up, it'll swing things? And when exactly did you cut? Hang in there. Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
lolly Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I know it was a small drop I can't believe how badly it has hit me this time and such a small amount! Before that I was doing 10% but things were getting bad so I dropped a little less. My last drop was in the first week of December I was fine for a week then the flu hit me and just couldn't seem to recover. My gut is telling me to up dose as it's always worked in the past. Just hope it works this time. Thanks for the advice hope you are feeling a bit better.. how's the flu? Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg 2 months drug Free awful withdrawal May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 9, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 9, 2015 Wow. You and I cut at the same time and also both had the flu! Lucky us! My flu symptoms are better, but of course the overall cortisol load is heavier because of the stress of it all. All of my icky feelings are intensified too. And I hope they don't hang around for long. For either of us! I commend you for going with your gut! You are basing your choice on past successful experience. I hope it will work for you too Let's think positively, it will work May stabilization be yours Lolly, hang in there. Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
lolly Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Cheers Dave I appreciate your help. The flu has worsened my cortisol, tiredness aches and pains. And a whole load of ickyness. Let's hope this buggers off soon for us (a British saying if that doesn't make sense to you lol!) Much love and stabilizing Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg 2 months drug Free awful withdrawal May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while Link to comment
Givemepeace Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Cheers Dave I appreciate your help. The flu has worsened my cortisol, tiredness aches and pains. And a whole load of ickyness. Let's hope this buggers off soon for us (a British saying if that doesn't make sense to you lol!) Much love and stabilizing Hi lolly,Do you think your last cut could be drawn out a little longer from you been naturally poorly? Maybe if you hold fire until your flu recedes before deciding to up dose? Hope you stabilise soon. Started diazepam when needed june2013 Various antidepressants citalopram, sertraline amytriptaline upto nov2013 Dependant on diazepam 3 mg daily with amitryptaline 10mg march2014 Start of June Changed to mirtazapine 15mg then 30mg for about 2weeks while fast taper from diazepam .5mg a week. Back down to 15mg mirtazapine and down to 1 mg diazepam end of June. During July tried to stop mirtazapine 7.5mg for 2 weeks then off still on 1 mg diazepam. August back on 15mg mirtazapine down to 0.8mg diazepam End of August escitalopram 10mg tried to cross taper from 15mg mirtazapine cut to 7.5 for 2 weeks but couldn't still 0.8 diazepam. 10/11/2014 Jumped from diazepam cutting .2 every 2weeks 10 weeks on 10mg escitalopram felt crazy!! Down to 5mg for 2 weeks and off (dreadfull mind changing) off 17/11/14 17/11/14Trying to stabise on 15mg mirtazapine Link to comment
lolly Posted January 10, 2015 Share Posted January 10, 2015 Thanks give me peace. I really do agree that's what is happening my body is finding it harder to repair itself because it's also trying to repair from the flu. This is why I feel I do need to up dose to get my strength back then I'll be ready to start tapering again. I guess I know my body and know I need to do this. But I really do appreciate your input Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg 2 months drug Free awful withdrawal May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 17, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 17, 2015 Hi all, I've decided to cut tonight. Tonight marks 6 weeks since my last cut of 10%. I feel sufficiently stable to cut, however I plan to cut 5% this time with the hope of making smaller cuts slightly more frequently. Hang in there. Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Ever Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 5% cut - Woot Dave! Good luck! Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989. Recovered. Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000. Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero. Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me. Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal. Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever. Feeling good:). 7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg 28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg Link to comment
Givemepeace Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Hi ten, Your in a good place now buddy, your in charge of it now. I know you'll breeze the rest!! G Started diazepam when needed june2013 Various antidepressants citalopram, sertraline amytriptaline upto nov2013 Dependant on diazepam 3 mg daily with amitryptaline 10mg march2014 Start of June Changed to mirtazapine 15mg then 30mg for about 2weeks while fast taper from diazepam .5mg a week. Back down to 15mg mirtazapine and down to 1 mg diazepam end of June. During July tried to stop mirtazapine 7.5mg for 2 weeks then off still on 1 mg diazepam. August back on 15mg mirtazapine down to 0.8mg diazepam End of August escitalopram 10mg tried to cross taper from 15mg mirtazapine cut to 7.5 for 2 weeks but couldn't still 0.8 diazepam. 10/11/2014 Jumped from diazepam cutting .2 every 2weeks 10 weeks on 10mg escitalopram felt crazy!! Down to 5mg for 2 weeks and off (dreadfull mind changing) off 17/11/14 17/11/14Trying to stabise on 15mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 17, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 17, 2015 Ever, GMP, thank you both so very much for your support! I measured out the 1.9mg last night with a smile on my face. The 5% feels less aggressive than the 10% - and that seems ok for this late-stage in the game. So, I'll hold in tight for some weeks and see if there are any bumps or bruises. Thanks for thinking of me. Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted January 17, 2015 Moderator Share Posted January 17, 2015 Wow, under 2.0 way to go Dave. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
lolly Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Well done Dave you are doing amazingly! Good choice doing 5% let us know how you get on. I'm sure you'll be fine it seems you're on a good road now. Feb 2013 - started Mirtazapine 15 mg have CFS /ME did 6 months of tapering to 0 mg 2 months drug Free awful withdrawal May 2014 reinstated at 6 mg August 2014 - 5 mg. October 2014 - 4 mg. November - 3.8 mg December - 3.6 mg. Jan upped to 3.8 holding for a while Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 19, 2015 Brassmonkey, Lolly, thank you both immensely I appreciate you passing on the good energy, for taking the time. Today has been an oddly difficult day - but I am not ready to say it is a result of the cut. I think some other things might be in play. I will definitely keep everyone up-to-speed. Dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted January 29, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 29, 2015 Hiya ten , it's good to meet you. I find your journey and the way you write inspiring . . . you're quite the poet. It's been 13 days since your last drop . . .how are you going ? 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted January 29, 2015 Author Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 29, 2015 Hiya ten , it's good to meet you. I find your journey and the way you write inspiring . . . you're quite the poet. It's been 13 days since your last drop . . .how are you going ? Fresh, hey. Thank you so much for inquiring about my state of being - and for your kind words about my writing. It means a ton. I also like seeing the messages you leave for others. You offer solid words - decidedly good. It was cool to see Givemepeace get into his window the other day - it was good we were there for him. He's a good guy in a tough (temporary) place. Yeah, that 2 week mark is always a prickly little patch for me. I don't suffer anything like I did in the early days of withdrawal, but I still get some unpleasant sensations. Rapid thinking, the general sensation that my anxiety levels are rising, a slight off-balance feeling, some hot skin, the urge to cry anytime/anywhere. But it doesn't hang around long. Maybe a couple hours or something like that. Today had some of these symptoms present - they rained in about 10 am and slid away around 1 pm. It truly has become somewhat clockwork for me - I feel an initial bit of discomfort within the first two weeks of a cut, then that two week mark gives me a little thump like today, and then I slip into stabilization and start thinking about cutting again. It's almost sadistic. "Ooh yeah, that one hurt. But now I feel good. May I have another?" I'll be glad when it is all through. Anyway, thanks again for taking the time and checking in. I feel solid all-things-considered and am grateful for it. I see so many on this site in a world of hurt and it makes me realize how far I've come - because I was there once. I don't take healing for granted. But I didn't do anything special to get to it. I just waited it out. I dug a foxhole, kept my spirit up, tried to exercise my body as possible, and tried to be careful what I put into myself. When the barrage came in, I took it and let the fear do what it had to do to finally show itself the door. But mostly, I just waited. There is a lot of fear on this site that healing is impossible - that this is a life-sentence. Healing does happen. I don't know what the structures in my brain look like, but all I know is that they, or something in there, is actually working again. I was completely torn down in withdrawal - physically, emotionally. I'd been on benzos and ADs - and in the hospital, the atypical anti-psychotics were given to me. Threw some gabapentin in there as well just for giggles (actually the stuff made me weep uncontrollably). Aw, I was poly-drugged like nobody's business! I felt I was destroyed. I thought it was the end for me. Dave's life, done. I wasn't destroyed. It wasn't the end. Ultimately, I was simply a hot coal buried in the smoldering ash of a medical disaster - time came around and I'm beginning to blaze up again. It'll be cool to see everyone on here taste healing in their own time and way. To see everyone blaze up and shine like that. Fresh. New. A sort of rebirth. It'll happen. Hang in there. Dave 1 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
Ever Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Awesome post Dave! Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989. Recovered. Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000. Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero. Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me. Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal. Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever. Feeling good:). 7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg 28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg Link to comment
sunflower Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Hi Dave, Thank you for stopping by my intro and for the encouragement. I really appreciate it! 1998-2010. Zoloft 100 mgs. 3/2010. Switched to generic Z and began not to feel well. 7/2010. Estrogen patch added which caused severe depression. 8/2010 to 10/2010. Zoloft increased from 100 mgs to 200 mgs., Klonopin .25 mgs in am; .50 mgs pm; Remeron .25 mgs. added by new doc 1/2011. Began tapering K; last dose of K 7/2011. 11/2011 Began Remeron taper; last dose of R 1/2012 (Tapered K & R by dry cutting) 1/2013 Began tapering Z from 200 mgs to 100 mgs by dry cutting 3/2013. Experiencing wd sx...took break 9/2013. Down to 150 mgs. 2/2014 - Present. 100 mgs Z 1-21-15. Began dry cutting 100 mgs. Link to comment
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