☼ chia1214: 40 years coming off - tapering lamotrigine, clonazepam

[chia1214]

Oops! I never posted a link before, I thought just the link would post, not the whole video! Oh well, it is funny. I laugh at it even when I'm very down. I have a few video clips that I go to once in a while just to make me smile...

[chia1214]

Okay, I'm playing with how to use features on this site. Since it looks like I'll probably be part of this site long-term, I need to settle in. I just read how to change your Avatar picture. So I stuck in a chia head. Not sure if that's how I'll keep it, but I had to use something. I had a scale for a few minutes, but I went with the chia head since it goes with my name.

 

Obviously, my brain is doing not so bad today, since I can manage this type of activity. I am not very technical, so this was a big accomplishment.

[luv2knit]

Yes... That is pretty good. My husband and daughter got me an iPad mini for Christmas. My brain is so messed up right now, trying to learn it was a joke. They got me started on it, though, so I can use it for the most part. When checking things on this site, though, I am usually on my phone.

[chia1214]

 

 

Hi Rhi and thanks SO much for your reply to my post!

 

First, I asked my husband to explain why he is having me do my taper the way I am. He is a an engineer in a research lab, and has a minor in analytical chemistry. So before he runs off to start his project he is here now and explaining it thus:

 

"Volumetric glassware is calibrated to be accurate at a certain temperature, normally 20 degrees celsius. Then of course, you need to sight the meniscus properly, which takes some training. That's my main concern with glassware.

 

The scale we are using is accurate to 0.01gram. The weighing plate is enclosed in a draft shield for measurement stability. The weight is independent of small temperature fluctuations, unlike liquid volumes.

 

We're diluting the 200mg lamotrigine pill in 100 grams of water, including the pill weight. So 1g of water equals 2mg of lamotrigine which we remove with a pipette while the medicine is in suspension."

 

There. I couldn't have explained that at all. I feel confident about the measuring process with my husband's oversight.

 

 

I'm following the instructions in the Q & A sections about how to attach a photo into my post, so hopefully this will work.

 

This is a photo of the balance (scale) we use to measure my liquid taper.

[Junior]

Hi Chia. I've just read your post and can't believe what you have been subjected to from such a young age.  I'm 52 and remember the days of institutions and all the stigma and shame that went with them. I can';t imagine how hard it must have been for you and I'm so sorry you've been subjected to so much misdiagnosing and mismanagement. It breaks my heart to think you were probably just a teenager who needed guidance.

 

The mods here are very knowledgeable and very good. I also believe that we can't go too slow. Better to allow our messed up systems time to adjust than thrown it into outright chaos.

[chia1214]

Oh hi Junior, thanks for visiting! And from down under too! Yeah, I have my moments when the tragedy of it all overwhelms me. But not right at the moment. I'm in 'focus on the present and look forward to the future' mode. I'll have to check out the link to your blog. I see from a glance at your sig that you've not made any changes since Oct of 2013? Looks like you have had it rough. I guess that's why we're all on here though. Withdrawal ain't for sissies!

 

Thanks for the reminder about going slow. Seems to be the main theme.

[chia1214]

Just another update. So I posted on Jan 19th my crying returned out of the blue after a 2 week absence. Then I had 4 days of fighting my head again. Then Fri the 23rd I woke at 4am very energized and chipper. I actually felt happy. Not euphoric, just absence of chaos and blackness. My brain definitely shifted into a good place and I have been in this good window up to the present. It is my first feeling of well-being in a very L-O-N-G time.

 

I've been consistent in my bedtime, my amber glasses in the evening (to cut down on blue-light exposure), my treadmill walking every other day, and my morning day-light lamp exposure. I think they may all be contributing to this window.

 

This evening I am feeling a bit wobbly but I also feel a chest cold coming on. First time in ages I have been any kind of physically sick. Which I find interesting, since I don't know how my body has held up especially these past 3 years with all the mental wear and tear. 

 

Just a note to myself - my tinnitus has been very pronounced while I have been feeling good. Maybe I am just noticing it more since all the chaos is quiet. I'll take the trade-off! 

 

I'm still reading on here, lately focusing on one member's intro thread. Trying to slowly get to know different people here and figured that would be a good place to start. Still very thankful for having found this site and for the hope it has given me.

[brassmonkey]

I'm so glad to hear that you're getting a nice window, hope the cold doesn't cause too many problems.

 

(((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) at least cyberhugs re noncontagious.

[chia1214]

Aw thanks brassmonkey, for the visit and the hugs. They are contagious, in a good way!

Here's yours: ((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))) My first cyberhugs. Never heard of them before!

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Nice signature, someone is a really quick learner!

[chia1214]

Someone has a very good teacher!  

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Yeah ok. Computers I am good at, other stuff not so much.

 

Just a note: we only need a brief synopsis of your drug history in your signature and the doses and drugs you are currently on. The site software is supposed to limit you to '750 characters' and '12 lines' of text but I think it gets confused. The 'character limit' includes SPACES and the line limit may or may not include LINES, I am not sure (I do not know how many characters are in a line). This is important to know because you may run into a situation, as your sig gets larger, where it won't let you update it: you keep getting an error. Sometimes the only way to relieve an error is to erase almost everything and start over. If that happens, just copy the info to your thread in a post and that way you can edit it and set it back into a sig.

 

Ok, there are 2 ways to get a link into a post: using the 'link' button in the editor or 'pasting' it into the editor. The site software 'truncates' (shortens) all links. You must (at this time) be using any OTHER browser than Internet Explorer to 'paste' things into the post editor. So in your case I can tell you are not using IE because you were able to paste. Just use whatever works.

[chia1214]

Okay, I will digest that information. And try to figure a way to simplify my sig as I continue my taper. I get ideas from looking at others' sigs. but it still overwhelms me and I often stare blankly at what I'm looking at or even reading, like your helpful tips. I will get it though. My browser is chrome at the moment.

 

Oh and I am at page 15 of your thread. Making my way through! 

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Page 15? How did you get through all of that gunk?

 

The one you might want to start after mine is Petu(nia)'s. We started about the same time and you will see a radical difference in our experiences of cold-turkeying drugs. mammaP's thread gives a great read on what it was like to learn and follow a tapering plan.

[chia1214]

Thanks CW, I'll check those threads out.  

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

In the meantime, before I have finished your thread from the beginning, I need to ask why you are tapering both of your drugs at the same time. It is often recommended that the AD be tapered before the benzo as the benzo seems to offer a bit of cushioning of symptoms that may occur while tapering the AD, mainly the emergence of the awful withdrawal insomnia.

 

If you are still having symptoms that are related to your previous drug tapers it may not be a good idea to taper anything just yet but if you are determined to do so you might want to go really really slow and not do routine drops according to a 'calendar' time period. You'll remember that my protracted withdrawal did not occur until I had been off an AD, a purported 'mood stabilizer' AND a benzo for over a year. When it hit it hit bad and I recovered far sooner than I ever had a right to expect.

 

Just mentioning this and with the understanding I have not finished your thread from the beginning yet so the comment might not really be applicable.

[chia1214]

Uh oh, Rhi commented to me earlier about the same thing. Going much slower. I thought I was going slow. And my husband and I felt okay about adding in the clonazepam taper. We both want to get these poisons out of my system. He is my most awesome, incredible support. 

 

Rhi also said this: "You're probably going to continue to have a lot of ups and downs due to the changes you've already done, with other drugs, recently. It sounds like you're probably used to this kind of emotional/biochemical chaos. Please be cautious; just because you're used to it doesn't mean it has to be that way, and it also doesn't mean it can't get worse. We do find that people do best with as much stability and consistency as possible."

 

So as she said, just because I'm used to the emotional/biochemical chaos doesn't mean it has to be that way and doesn't mean it can't get worse. Now with your caution and reminder of your protracted withdrawal beginning a year AFTER you stopped, I hope I'm doing the right thing. As far as following a calendar, it just fits with how I do things. I love routine and I really do feel like I'm DOING something by checking off my decreases. I will talk to my husband again and see if I should hold for a while. Especially since I am currently in a stable window for just over one week now.

 

Thanks for the advice. I really will think this over.

[chia1214]

Okay, I adjusted my sig to reflect that I am now going to hold my current dose for at least a month or two. I got red flags from Rhi and CW about how I was going about my taper so I will heed their advice. So now I wonder, when will I know to make another cut, since it seems I can't rely on my own judgement? Hubby and I really thought we were going about this according to a safe, responsible timetable.

 

If one does not do drops according to a calendar schedule, what do you go by?

 

And just when I thought I had it all nicely figured out....

[brassmonkey]

That's the "fun" part about all this stuff.  As soon as you think you have it sussed it changes on you.  I kept a pretty faithful schedule for the majority of my taper, but still had to throw in some adjustments from time to time as my body told me to do so.  I learned that my brain had a mind of its own and I had to play by it's rules, not the calendar.  I usually was able to drop when the symptoms leveled out to the "neutral" state I refereed to as WDnormal for a couple of weeks.  The feelings were still there but not extreme in either direction.  As time went on the definition of WDnormal would slowly change as things improved in general.  DH seems to be doing a brilliant job of supporting you and I would like to thank him for it.  The loving support I have received from my wife has been invaluable, so I know what it means to you.

[chia1214]

Hey brassmonkey - thanks for your reply. I will pass your thanks on to DH. I'm still in a relatively stable place, since the 23rd, so 9 days now. And that's with being into day 4 with a nasty chest cold.  I still can't quite figure how my taper was considered fast, I mean look at yours! I was only going down 2%. Part of me wants to push on, but part of me wants to heed the red flags I was given, so DH and I figure we'll hold a bit. 

 

I took a look at your thread and saw what you've been dealing with. You have a good attitude and a good sense of humor. And a lot of company! It was fun reading through it, even with the rough patches you and your wife have been facing. 

 

Did you ever try out any amber glasses?

[brassmonkey]

The way it is written on your signature it looks like you dropped every two week with no breaks.  With the effects of the drops being cumulative and taking 4-6 weeks to appear makes that seem kind of fast.  They take a very conservative approach to tapers here and try to error on the side of caution/slow.  Mine is based on the idea of 10% every 6 weeks, I just spread out the 10% to lessen the jolt.

 

Major life lessons have taught me that attitude and humor are two of the biggest keys to making it through the tough times.  Attitude is a choice that can make a tough time worse or tolerable, and a positive attitude really does make healing quicker.  I've been through enough to know that every situation is temporary, so why make things worse for my self.  As for humor, ya gota be able to laugh at your self before you can make fun of others, and a lot of natural occurring events are just plain silly so why not laugh at them instead of being embarrassed or upset.

 

Haven't had a chance on the glasses yet, too much "life" getting in the way.

 

Hope you're doing well on your break.

[chia1214]

The way it is written on your signature it looks like you dropped every two week with no breaks.  With the effects of the drops being cumulative and taking 4-6 weeks to appear makes that seem kind of fast.  They take a very conservative approach to tapers here and try to error on the side of caution/slow.  Mine is based on the idea of 10% every 6 weeks, I just spread out the 10% to lessen the jolt.

 

Major life lessons have taught me that attitude and humor are two of the biggest keys to making it through the tough times.  Attitude is a choice that can make a tough time worse or tolerable, and a positive attitude really does make healing quicker.  I've been through enough to know that every situation is temporary, so why make things worse for my self.  As for humor, ya gota be able to laugh at your self before you can make fun of others, and a lot of natural occurring events are just plain silly so why not laugh at them instead of being embarrassed or upset.

 

Haven't had a chance on the glasses yet, too much "life" getting in the way.

 

Hope you're doing well on your break.

So my 2% drops every 2 weeks is 6% every 6 weeks. You're doing 10% every 6 weeks. DH and I are wondering how my taper is fast compared to yours? You wait only 1 week between your drops, I wait 2 and my percentage drop is less. Just scratching my green head here...

[brassmonkey]

I guess it is the hold period that makes the difference.  I end up with drop, drop, drop, drop, hold, hold, so my brain has a chance to get use to the lower dose before I start adjusting it again. The way you did it, every two weeks, doesn't allow time for your brain to catch up with the decreases.  That would be the only reason I can see that it could be considered "too fast".

[chia1214]

I just re-wrote my sig to try to clarify what I'm up to. It looks like both our hold periods are 2 weeks. I make one 2% drop then hold for 2 weeks. You make four 2.5% weekly drops, then hold 2 weeks. This stuff makes my hair curl. Wait. It's already curled. And green.

 

No matter, as I've committed to at least a full month hold for the moment.

[chia1214]

Just updating my own thread here. I'll probably forget some of this so I should record my thoughts somewhere.

 

So Monday was day 10 of absence of chaos. Still hard to believe. It's like going from being in the middle of a cyclone for months on end, to complete calm. It was such a different picture not so long ago. The other day I asked my husband, "Where did all those horrible thoughts and emotions and fears go? Where did they come from for that matter?" He simply answered, "They were just from the drugs doing things in your brain." He can say that NOW that he's learned all that I've read him from this site. 

 

But it really is amazing how crazy things were. I'm impressed with how well some folks here are able to put it all down in words. I still feel in shock that I popped out of the madness and that it has lasted this long. If I had not found this site, my husband and I would have continued to repeat the pattern of going back to the psychiatrist to try another round of drug changes and/or dose increases. 

 

I have seen others voice the question here, "Who am I off these drugs?" So much of my life has centered around trying to cope with my "mental illness" which I now see completely lines up with a continual loop of w/d symptoms. I honestly can't believe I'm alive after all these years. So I can relate to wondering who I am off drugs, since I've never really been off them! I can tell you I don't really have green hair, that much I know.

 

The week before I joined SA, I really was at a critical place. I knew I couldn't go back on any more drug changes, but I knew I couldn't go on living with the incredible mental torment. I really felt my family would be better off without me in my present state especially and since it seemed to be worsening with no real answers in sight. So I left home, checked into a rental cabin and holed up for 4 days. My husband was away and my 2 young adult daughters begged me to at least let him know where I was going. I did, but it kind of shook everyone up a little. I've never done anything like that before. It let us all know how bad things were. Turns out I was having trouble communicating just how bad and what some of my needs were. Ended up having to let our daughters know I had to have my living space completely to myself to cope with this raging storm within.

 

We have a guest apartment and it was decided they should move into it. I felt even worse then, feeling I was throwing them out all due to my issues. But the trauma for me about that has all settled down and they are getting on quite well in their "new" home. They needed to learn to be on their own soon anyway and this is a good transition for them. My husband didn't move out! (NEVER!) I didn't realize how much extra stress I was under trying to fight this broken brain while also trying to interact with the girls while we were all sharing the same household. They have jobs and are largely independent, but I was hiding out more and more in my room when they were home, not wanting them to see me in such a state. It was a huge relief to have the freedom to be able to wail, sob, moan, pace, rock and cry out to God (which I did all day long) without worrying someone would hear. It did not take the agony away, but I could express it better.

 

So I felt extra disastrous during their move over to the apartment, like I was abandoning them, but my husband tried to reassure me that this was a good thing for them as well as me and they were going to come to this point in their lives soon anyway, moving on to their own place. My husband just lets me do and say whatever I need day and night when the waves roll. His presence is my only solace, even though it does not diminish the horror of the experience.

 

I've had a bad cold for 5 days now, hubby and I both got one. I've used the time to read through a couple of intro threads and browse a few topics. I probably don't need to post a single word of my own on here, I could cut and paste quotes from all over this site that would reflect much of my experience. 

 

Yesterday I woke with a slight return of dread and anxiety, the kind that precedes a fall into a wave. But I have not panicked and assumed I will slide down into the abyss. If I do, I do, but I know now it will be part of recovery, not proof I'm mentally ill and need drugs for the rest of my life. Yay! I'm trying to identify just what my symptoms are/have been. I can relate to many mentioned so far, in the different threads. Some I'm glad to have a name for. This anxiety, or what I call anxiety, I'm not even really sure if that's what it is. I don't know if I can give words to it, but I guess I don't need to. It's just one of my nasties and it will pass.

 

I got all my psychiatrist notes from the last 3 years since I started seeing this one. I am in the process of trying to list the drugs, dates I was on and off, and how long each. I still don't know if I can get a full drug history for the past 40 years since I was 13. Some records just don't exist anymore. For many years, in my 20's, 30's and 40's, a gp just wrote scripts without me even seeing a psychiatrist. But with my memory and a few notes I've found, I think I can have a go at trying to update my sig soon to reflect more of my 40 year poly-drugged history.

 

My hope level for recovery and a meds free life is still high. Looking forward to getting to know more folks here.

[chia1214]

I was reading through the topic called "Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms" and some thoughts came to mind. I didn't think that was the right place to post this though, so I'm just jotting it down in my own thread.

 

My newest non-drug technique to cope with my emotional symptoms this past autumn was very unconventional. I brought a Husqvarna helmet and asked my husband to teach me how to chainsaw so I could help him harvest the trees on our property. I didn't want to be apart from him while he was out in the woods working away and I was rocking and wailing inside. I'm not sure I'd recommend it to everyone, but it helped me feel useful and kept me near my main support person.

 

I had moments when I wondered if I should be let loose with a chainsaw in my frame of mind, but those moments I would just turn off the saw and help with hauling the brush and limbs.   

 

Then I helped with the splitting and stacking. Since he and I both had ear protection on, and we live in the boonies, I could still wail and sob and be productive at the same time. I fight feeling unproductive a lot in my waves, so this was important to me.

 

A friend once told me when I was in a bad way and didn't know what to do, "Do the next thing." That is the hardest thing for me to do, but it is so true. Even if it is just to stack our firewood. Or do the laundry. Or sweep the floor. Often, my husband has to tell me what the next thing is.

 

But often, like a lot of others here, I have to cope simply by riding out the wave and bearing the pain best as I can. I liken it to childbirth, I just try to breathe and get through the seemingly eternal contractions.

[brassmonkey]

Those were two brilliant posts, brought tears to my eyes.  You have just made several giant strides in your recovery that can't be taken away.  (((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

 

My father was a firewood fanatic.  He was always collecting and cutting any type of wood he could lay his hands on.  Your description reminded me of seeing him at 85 leaning on his walker with one hand and wielding a chainsaw in the other.  Actually I don't think yours was nearly as frightening.  Getting out like that is so therapeutic, DH, the great outdoors, cutting thing up, it is wonderful distraction as you found out. Plus you get nice cozy fires out of it. The pulling inside and needing ones space is so important and trying to express the need is next to impossible, I'm just lucky that both Monica (DW) and I are quiet people and the long silent evenings were not a problem, but I can see the trouble with having a lot of family around.  I glad the girls like their new apartment.

[chia1214]

Now that's a sight, an old man on a walker, with a chainsaw!    Yup, thank God for our wonderful, spouses. I don't take mine for granted. I know many folks don't have that, or much family support at all, I'm grateful. Yes, the girls really like their space, it's a nice situation all around.

 

Thanks for the visit! ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS AND GIVE A COUPLE TO MONICA FROM ME TOO!))))))))))))))))))))

[chia1214]

 

I posted this to the "Let's pray for one another" thread and am copying it here to my own thread too. Click on the image to make it bigger if you can't see it very well.

 

I try to recall this to my mind when I am spiraling inside my broken brain. I like the image, it goes along with the passage.

 

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

[luv2knit]

Just wanted to stop by and see how you are doing, chia!

[chia1214]

Oh hi luv!  I was going to pop in on your thread and say hello to you! You beat me to it, thanks! I'm holding steady in my window since Jan 23, even with a bad cold I came down with. I have a bit of wake up anxiety, very mild. I am SO grateful to be stable and calm all these days. For my history, it doesn't seem like I should be enjoying this "vacation".  So yeah, I'm very grateful.

 

Here is a quote from a post I recently made to imac, which I'm copying here to have as a record. I could pluck it out of all my posts here on my thread but sometimes it's nice to read a condensed version of how things are.

 

"I have no explanation for why I am holding steady in this most recent window, except perhaps because I did not go back to the psychiatrist and switch any drugs around this time, in an attempt to "help" get me through this. Dec 31, I woke and up and the daily torment and crying just wasn't there. I wobbled for a bit, fought the deep depression and lots of uncontrollable anger, almost rage, it was terrifying. But because I had just found SA, I rode it out and it was the first time I made it through a bout like this without going back to the psychiatrist. On Jan 19th I woke into crying again and the same stuff came back. Then on the 23rd it was gone again, just like someone was turning light switches. Again, it was the first time my husband and I just rode it out, since we had become more informed here on this site."

 

I've been following your thread. I'll pop over and post a hello to you there too. I was going to when I saw you here, really! It's lovely to get visitors, isn't it?!

[luv2knit]

Chia, I'm glad your window is holding. That is awesome!! Hope it continues. I'm not sure there is any rhyme or reason to our pattern or speed of recovery. I posted an answer to your questions on my thread. Thanks for stopping by!

[chia1214]

Just copying a few notes from my reply to a couple of brassmonkey's  recent posts.

 

Hi bm -  I agree about the daily routine being critical to keeping the mind focused and off wd. I know some can't do that for various reasons, but any little steps in that direction are so helpful. I personally have not worked outside the home for an employer since my girls were very young, but was always busy with being a wife, homeschool mom, keeping the home up, volunteer work and being part of a church community. When I went through this latest horrific wd pattern of the last 3 years, the girls were young adults, no longer needing my oversight. I really hit the floorboards though, so don't know if I would have been capable of anything. During this most recent wave, in the past month or two, I asked some friends who teach, for projects to do at home. They really appreciated the help and I could stay busy while still melting down. Didn't take away the angst a lot of time, but was a tremendous distraction, as well as being productive. I'm still doing it, as I have a hard time even now, making my own routine to fill the whole day up. But it's gotten better with this most recent period of stability. Thankfully I also have my husband to steer me when I need it most.

 

And about the switching drugs, tragically, my husband and me (and even our close friends) always thought we had to keep trying to alternate drugs when one or a combination pooped out. Each time I would experience what we now know to be wicked withdrawal, we were told and believed, it was my "illness", which we were told had to always be managed with drugs. Unbelievable to me it took this long to put two and two together. I always suspected these drugs were causing more problems than they fixed, but every time I tried to go off them, it was without wd knowledge and I always had horrific rebound symptoms. So the reinstatement of the same or new or a combo of drugs always seemed to calm the storm and I always felt subdued back into compliance with another cocktail. Over time I just began to settle for that kind of existence and put on a functional front as best I could. What a wicked merry-go-round. Hopefully it’s over now. And hopefully I won’t have to go through too much wd hell if I taper correctly. I’m going to copy this to my thread too, just for my own notes.

[Rhiannon]

So glad to hear you're having a good window! Yay!

 

This may help answer your question about "if I don't follow a calendar schedule, how will I know how fast to taper?" Your body is the boss. It will tell you how fast you can taper.

 

You should not be feeling terrible during a taper. Not only is it just no fun, and as you've seen very disruptive to your life and your family, but I personally think that if you're feeling terrible, your nervous system is probably not in great shape and it's no time to be cutting more and making things harder for it. (That is, "you" as in "one", not just you, but in general everyone.)

 

If you break a bone, you don't heal according to a calendar schedule, your body heals however it heals, and everyone is different. With what these drugs do to us, it's even more variable than that, because during evolution we have never before encountered anything like these drugs, so we've never had the chance to evolve mechanisms to heal and rebalance and recover from how they change our brains. So it is very, very variable.

 

So the safest way to taper is by learning to listen to your body and follow what it tells you. That's pretty impossible to do when you feel like hell no matter what you do, but once you've stabilized (and it sounds like now you know what that feels like) you can make small changes, wait a while for the symptoms to appear and then play out and then resolve, and you can learn what your own body's healing pattern is like.

 

Over time you'll learn what your own patterns are, and then you can tweak the speed up to the level that you can tolerate. You can also adjust your cuts according to life stressors (like if you have a trip coming up, for example, you can hold off on cuts for a while beforehand).

 

And since you're only making small changes and you're giving it time between them, if you cut too much you're not going to crash and burn, you can just hold and wait for the bumpy period to smooth out.

 

Your husband's way of measuring and calculating sounds fine. Most people can't afford that good of a scale, nor do they have the technical background to calculate the dilutions and dosages, but what he's doing sounds like it will work to me.

 

Glad to hear you're seeing improvement. Don't be discouraged if you hit a wave again, that's normal. Over time, with a slow taper, never pushing past symptoms, taking occasional longer holds to allow your healing to catch up, these windows and waves will settle down and things will be much smoother.

[Rhiannon]

Also, if you haven't yet, I highly recommend you and your husband read Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker.

[chia1214]

Thanks again Rhi - for taking the time to reply with the detailed post above. And for the book recommendation. Your posts in the various threads, especially the ones that chronicle your experience, are invaluable.  -- chia