Posted 10 January 2015 - 12:24 PM
Hi there and welcome. Can you describe the leg pains? Mine were in the muscles--it felt like a burning anxiety attack in my legs. Hard to describe. I went to emergency because I couldn't stand it, but they treated me like a drug addict, wanting to enroll me in an addiction recovery program. That's because I said I drank for relief from intense agitation aka akathisia. Big mistake. No doctor was available. I believe Xanax or Ativan would have helped. I went home and suffered rather than play into that crazy scheme. I think I got it by using Straterra for a few days. It stopped after a few weeks of no meds.
2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.
2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...
Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.
2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.
I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.
2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.
I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.
And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past.
I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.
In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.