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Coldturkmama: paxil 14 years, cold turkey, protracted withdrawal.

paroxetine Paxil

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#1 coldturkmama

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 06:21 AM

I'm another refugee from PP....I was so shocked when I logged in and found it gone! Very upsetting.  I found a few people whose names I recognized from PP so that was nice. 
I'm currently in month 14 of my cold turkey WD.....I was too far out when I found out I should have tapered....PP was a wealth of information and support for me and reading the uplifting posts that "This too shall pass" was so encouraging in the thick of things.  I am here if anyone needs an ear, wants to ask what my experience has been like, etc. My name is Gina and I am from Canada :)


Edited by scallywag, 21 July 2016 - 04:32 AM.
tags added

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#2 cymbaltawithdrawal5600

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 06:39 AM

Hi Coldturkmama and welcome. Thanks for starting a topic here in the Introductions and Updates forum, I added your member name to the title. You may wish to bookmark it for easy reference (some members also put a link to their first post in their sig like I have), that way you can find your topic from any recent post you have made that you can see in the forum list. And thank you for providing a sig, too!

 

You can keep us updated about your progress in your topic and post here any questions you may have that are particular to your situation, they will be more visible here. Have you seen our Symptoms and Self Care topic? Lots of helpful info there especially in the pinned topics at the top.

 

I hope you find everything you need here and I am sure the other members will benefit from your experiences. I went cold turkey too and I would never recommend it to anyone, it is rough going. Hope you are doing better than I at 14 months. My real destabilization did not come until 12 months and it is just now starting to let up at 2 years off.

 

(If you need help and want to do it, I may be able to help you find some of your content from the other site. Just PM me.)


What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivinganti...ion/#entry50878

July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site.

Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey.

#3 luv2knit

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 07:44 AM

Hi, coldturkmama. I would be very interested in hearing more of your story. I didn't (quite) quit cold turkey, but I tapered much too fast off Zoloft (from 100 mg. to 0 in about 6 weeks. I have been off for 5 months now, but my withdrawal symptoms did not start until about a month later. By the time I found this site, it was pretty iffy whether I would be able to reinstate, and I decided not to risk making the akathisia worse. At this point for me, some things seem to be somewhat better, but I fear some may be getting worse.
Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).
Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

#4 Frustrated

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 07:55 AM

Hi there. I also tapered much to fast off paxil. From 20mg to 0 in 2 months. It has been 5 and a half months and I am still suffering pretty badly. I am also afraid that it will get worse. I tried reinstating 1.2 mg a few weeks ago but it is causing issues so I recently dropped to .9 mg and will taper off that starting in mid Feb. Welcome to the group.

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.


#5 Wildflower0214

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 09:55 AM

Hey there. Like the others I am almost six months into this situation. I tapered waaaay to fast.

We would all like to hear about how it went for you. :)
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#6 brassmonkey

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 10:15 AM

Hi Gina-- I'm so glad you found us and this wonderful site.  There are a whole bunch of us PP refuges here and they are making us feel quite welcome.  The site is set up a little differently but there is a ton of information and even more support.  Hope you're doing well and are all set for the Holidays.


20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mg it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking


#7 coldturkmama

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 06:02 PM

Hey again guys :) I too didn't realize the dangers of cold turkey....but I knew that the paxil was no longer working and I didn't want to continue taking it.
I quit and had no withdrawal for about six weeks I would say, but when it kicked in, woah!! I sat I bed for a week feeling like I had the flu...cold, shaking, anxious, stomach issues, etc. I also had horrible pains in my legs that left me in tears.
Finally that settled and I was began having some obvious patterns of windows and waves which I didnt know was possible until digging around online and finding PP.
I remember March being very very bad for me....six months out...probanly the worst time so far.
Eventually that passed and slowly things keep getting better but this whole thibg feels like four steps forward and five back...almost like someone building a jenga puzzle and so.eone keeps taking a piece from the middle lol
I had a bad wave in August that seemed to last almost two months. I also ha e had lots of head pressure at times where it feels lime so.eone has a vice on my head.
Right now (and I dont know how common this is) it feels like things can change from day to day or hour to hour. I feel pretty good here lately...God is good.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#8 Wildflower0214

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 06:09 PM

Yes, He is. :)
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#9 Frustrated

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 06:14 PM

Glad you are feeling good lately. I am at the six month mark at the end of Dec and I think I have more bad days then good. Right now the pain in my legs is so bad I have spent the entire day on the couch. The muscles actually pop. I hope I will start to better soon.

2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale.
.6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th)
.4mg(April 27th)
.2 (June 27th)

0mg.  done taper at beginning of August.


#10 coldturkmama

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 06:23 PM

Glad you are feeling good lately. I am at the six month mark at the end of Dec and I think I have more bad days then good. Right now the pain in my legs is so bad I have spent the entire day on the couch. The muscles actually pop. I hope I will start to better soon.


I have a lot of back pain and regular aches and pains now that I had thought was arthritis but am pretty sure it js withdrawal related. In the new year I am going to quit coffee ( I quit for six months during the worst of WD) and get healthier...walk more etc. I gained a lot of weight on paxil...lost 20 lbs so far just from quitting. ..but still have 50-75 I could stand to lose.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#11 luv2knit

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Posted 24 December 2014 - 06:56 PM

Glad you're doing better!

Hope you have a Merry Christmas!
Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).
Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

#12 Altostrata

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Posted 25 December 2014 - 02:47 PM

Welcome, ctm.

 

Very good to hear your withdrawal symptoms are abating.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#13 Songbird

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Posted 25 December 2014 - 03:35 PM

I have a lot of back pain and regular aches and pains now that I had thought was arthritis but am pretty sure it js withdrawal related.


Good to see you over here Coldturkmama, I remember you from pp. I did not CT, but I've also had back pain issues, and other aches and pains, it's hard to know if it is w/d-related, as I suppose I might have had them anyway, but I do believe w/d exacerbates these things. Anything involving inflammation seems to flare up in w/d.

2001-2002 Jul - Feb Aropax 2003 Feb-Dec Citalopram 2004 Jul Aropax 20mg
2005-2007 various failed tapers  2007 Feb 20mg … Nov 6mg
2008 Jan 5.5mg Feb 5mg Mar 4.5mg Apr 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009 24 Jan 12.5mg … 18 Dec 6.3mg     2010 30 Aug 6.15mg 28 Nov 6 mg
2011 20 Feb 5.9mg … 26 Dec 5.3mg       2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
2013 25 Jan 4.9mg … 15 Dec 4.4mg       2014 18 Jan 4.3mg … 8 Dec 3.45mg
2015 Jan 3.4mg Apr 3.3mg May 3.2mg Jul 3.1mg Aug 3.0mg 18 Sep 2.9mg 24 Nov 2.8mg 25 Dec 2.7mg

2016 5 Feb 2.6mg

Blog: http://anxietystuff.weebly.com


#14 coldturkmama

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 10:41 AM

Christmas Eve I could feel myself feeling like a wave was coming. Does anyone else feel that way, like there is a shift in the way you are feeling and you just know a wave is around the corner??
Compared to last year and what I was going through, these newer waves are different and not as bad as in the beginning thats for sure, but they are uncomfortable and hard to go through.
How is everyone else doing?

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#15 Wildflower0214

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 10:55 AM

Sorry to hear you had a wave on Christmas Eve. I feel like I live in one, but I'm not nearly as far along as you are..

Hope your wave ends soon. What kind of symptoms are u having?
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#16 coldturkmama

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 11:16 AM

Sorry to hear you had a wave on Christmas Eve. I feel like I live in one, but I'm not nearly as far along as you are..
Hope your wave ends soon. What kind of symptoms are u having?


Right now an inner restlessness, pain in lower back, bad pain in my right hands fingertips, anxious (but not horribly so)...cold/tired...
14.5 months out..big improvement from other waves so I am glad of that.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#17 Wildflower0214

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 11:33 AM

Well, I'm so happy you have improved!!! That is really really good. I am cold constantly, I took my temp, it runs about a degree lower than normal now. The inner restlessness is difficult to deal with, I hate it.

I have body sensations that really stink. They are the worst besides intrusive thoughts.
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#18 coldturkmama

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 11:49 AM

Well, I'm so happy you have improved!!! That is really really good. I am cold constantly, I took my temp, it runs about a degree lower than normal now. The inner restlessness is difficult to deal with, I hate it.
I have body sensations that really stink. They are the worst besides intrusive thoughts.


Yes intrusive thought's are terrible. ..keep fighting this, it will pass.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#19 Wildflower0214

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 12:08 PM

Thanks for the encouragement!!

Hope u feel better SOON!!
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#20 coldturkmama

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 12:32 PM

Thanks for the encouragement!!
Hope u feel better SOON!!



Thanks you too!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#21 IndigoEarthling

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Posted 28 December 2014 - 05:01 PM

I'm another refugee from PP....I was so shocked when I logged in and found it gone! Very upsetting.  I found a few people whose names I recognized from PP so that was nice. 

I'm currently in month 14 of my cold turkey WD.....I was too far out when I found out I should have tapered....PP was a wealth of information and support for me and reading the uplifting posts that "This too shall pass" was so encouraging in the thick of things.  I am here if anyone needs an ear, wants to ask what my experience has been like, etc. My name is Gina and I am from Canada :)

Hello Gina-  I quit lithium, adderall and citalopram cold turkey 10 months ago after 10+ years of medication. I realize now I should have tapered but I think it's too late for me to go back-plus I think I am starting to have a few okay days in a row every now and again. Currently experiencing LOT's of pain right along my spine, intrusive thoughts and anxious obsessing.

 

Having a rough day- just knowing someone else is going through the 'cold turkey trot' makes me feel MUCH better. Thanks for your post and welcome!


Diagnosed bi-pollar II in 2003 at age 15.

Lithium, lexapro and seroquel for the next 8 years, with occasional klonopin.

Quit seroquel cold turkey in 2011.

1st unsuccessful attempt to stop ALL meds cold turkey- 2012

Switched to lithium, citalopram and adderall (only on adderall for a few weeks).

Cold turkey off EVERYTHING Feb 2014.

 

Previous symptoms; crying spells, suicidal depression and hopelessness (3 months). Frequent urination and chocolate, allergy medicine and food sensitivities (3 months). Body pain radiating through my spine, legs, arms and butt followed by muscle stiffness, weakness and tingling/loss of feeling (7 months). Brain zaps, head aches and intense depersonalization. Fight or flight upon waking and difficulty sleeping (2 months). Difficulty regulating body temperature-incredibly cold hands and feet (8 months). Diarrhea and difficulty eating (lost over 30 pounds). Acute and itchy acne? on my forehead, cheeks and chest (7 months). 

 

Current symptoms: anxiety, obsessive compulsions, feeling stuck/unable to act/shocked, pain along my spine, hair loss, easily stressed and overwhelmed, difficulty with social situations, generally moody. 


#22 coldturkmama

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Posted 29 December 2014 - 05:51 AM

 

I'm another refugee from PP....I was so shocked when I logged in and found it gone! Very upsetting.  I found a few people whose names I recognized from PP so that was nice. 

I'm currently in month 14 of my cold turkey WD.....I was too far out when I found out I should have tapered....PP was a wealth of information and support for me and reading the uplifting posts that "This too shall pass" was so encouraging in the thick of things.  I am here if anyone needs an ear, wants to ask what my experience has been like, etc. My name is Gina and I am from Canada :)

Hello Gina-  I quit lithium, adderall and citalopram cold turkey 10 months ago after 10+ years of medication. I realize now I should have tapered but I think it's too late for me to go back-plus I think I am starting to have a few okay days in a row every now and again. Currently experiencing LOT's of pain right along my spine, intrusive thoughts and anxious obsessing.

 

Having a rough day- just knowing someone else is going through the 'cold turkey trot' makes me feel MUCH better. Thanks for your post and welcome!

 

 

I'm glad that it helps a bit :)  When I was in the first of it I didn't even know that's what it was!  I had a good month of YAY I feel GREAT off those pills and then crashed which was scary because I had no idea WD could hit that far out and that it is not uncommon, etc after 15 yrs of an SSRI.  

Thankfully I am having good days too and by the grace of God I know it will get better as my brain heals.  I am doing everything I can to help it heal now that I know things I can do (quit coffee just the other day, am eating healthier, starting to exercise, and have been taking a high quality fish oil)...I hope you feel better soon, that was so much to quit all at once.  


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#23 coldturkmama

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 07:35 AM

 

 

I'm another refugee from PP....I was so shocked when I logged in and found it gone! Very upsetting.  I found a few people whose names I recognized from PP so that was nice. 

I'm currently in month 14 of my cold turkey WD.....I was too far out when I found out I should have tapered....PP was a wealth of information and support for me and reading the uplifting posts that "This too shall pass" was so encouraging in the thick of things.  I am here if anyone needs an ear, wants to ask what my experience has been like, etc. My name is Gina and I am from Canada :)

Hello Gina-  I quit lithium, adderall and citalopram cold turkey 10 months ago after 10+ years of medication. I realize now I should have tapered but I think it's too late for me to go back-plus I think I am starting to have a few okay days in a row every now and again. Currently experiencing LOT's of pain right along my spine, intrusive thoughts and anxious obsessing.

 

Having a rough day- just knowing someone else is going through the 'cold turkey trot' makes me feel MUCH better. Thanks for your post and welcome!

 

 

I'm glad that it helps a bit :)  When I was in the first of it I didn't even know that's what it was!  I had a good month of YAY I feel GREAT off those pills and then crashed which was scary because I had no idea WD could hit that far out and that it is not uncommon, etc after 15 yrs of an SSRI.  

Thankfully I am having good days too and by the grace of God I know it will get better as my brain heals.  I am doing everything I can to help it heal now that I know things I can do (quit coffee just the other day, am eating healthier, starting to exercise, and have been taking a high quality fish oil)...I hope you feel better soon, that was so much to quit all at once.  

 

 

 

How is everyone doing? 

I started a wave Christmas Eve and while it eases up by times, it's still been a rather rough one.  Head pressure GA-LORE, anxiety, stomach issues, feeling of unesay/restlessness....ugh ugh ugh!

I've got three kids to look after during it all, so this is NOT fun.  

I think the worst about the waves is how while you'r IN it you think, "This must be me, this can't be WD, I'm the problem, etc" and then you try to talk yourself around to "No, years of paxil did this to me, going cold turkey made it worse."  Then these GREAT windows open up  and you feel SOOOOOO NORMAL and you praise the Lord, you're FREE (for the moment) and WD seems so far away and then.............it isn't.

Anyone relate?


Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#24 luv2knit

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 08:21 AM

Yep... Absolutely! My "windows" are just "partial" windows, I guess you could say. Not normal, but much better than the bad waves. Had a couple of bad days (waves), then yesterday was one of the best days I have had yet. Today, not so much... So frustating the way things change from day to day!
Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day).
Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired)

#25 IndigoEarthling

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 08:45 AM

ColdTurkey Mama... Your 14.5 months out right? I'm almost 11.... Question for you- are you still experiencing the same wave as Christmas? Do you know how long they last for?

Diagnosed bi-pollar II in 2003 at age 15.

Lithium, lexapro and seroquel for the next 8 years, with occasional klonopin.

Quit seroquel cold turkey in 2011.

1st unsuccessful attempt to stop ALL meds cold turkey- 2012

Switched to lithium, citalopram and adderall (only on adderall for a few weeks).

Cold turkey off EVERYTHING Feb 2014.

 

Previous symptoms; crying spells, suicidal depression and hopelessness (3 months). Frequent urination and chocolate, allergy medicine and food sensitivities (3 months). Body pain radiating through my spine, legs, arms and butt followed by muscle stiffness, weakness and tingling/loss of feeling (7 months). Brain zaps, head aches and intense depersonalization. Fight or flight upon waking and difficulty sleeping (2 months). Difficulty regulating body temperature-incredibly cold hands and feet (8 months). Diarrhea and difficulty eating (lost over 30 pounds). Acute and itchy acne? on my forehead, cheeks and chest (7 months). 

 

Current symptoms: anxiety, obsessive compulsions, feeling stuck/unable to act/shocked, pain along my spine, hair loss, easily stressed and overwhelmed, difficulty with social situations, generally moody. 


#26 coldturkmama

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 12:10 PM

ColdTurkey Mama... Your 14.5 months out right? I'm almost 11.... Question for you- are you still experiencing the same wave as Christmas? Do you know how long they last for?


Christmas eve started the wave...its more intense at times and then I'll get windows of time (maybe a few hours) where things arent as bad, but I believe this is the same wave since Christmas.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#27 OffEFFexor

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 12:15 PM

Yes, CTM, I relate.  10 months out CT Efffexor. 


1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs
1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac
2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 225
2014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.
March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.

Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down.  Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog.

July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health.  Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!!  ☼

Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards.  Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough.

 

Current supplements:  Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime.  Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure.

Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation.


#28 coldturkmama

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 12:20 PM

Yes, CTM, I relate.  10 months out CT Efffexor.


Sucks so bad. What are your waves and windows like? Hourly...daily. ...weekly...or do you get good windows at all?

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#29 westcoast

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 12:24 PM

Hi there and welcome. Can you describe the leg pains? Mine were in the muscles--it felt like a burning anxiety attack in my legs. Hard to describe. I went to emergency because I couldn't stand it, but they treated me like a drug addict, wanting to enroll me in an addiction recovery program. That's because I said I drank for relief from intense agitation aka akathisia. Big mistake. No doctor was available. I believe Xanax or Ativan would have helped. I went home and suffered rather than play into that crazy scheme. I think I got it by using Straterra for a few days. It stopped after a few weeks of no meds.

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:


#30 coldturkmama

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 12:49 PM

Hi there and welcome. Can you describe the leg pains? Mine were in the muscles--it felt like a burning anxiety attack in my legs. Hard to describe. I went to emergency because I couldn't stand it, but they treated me like a drug addict, wanting to enroll me in an addiction recovery program. That's because I said I drank for relief from intense agitation aka akathisia. Big mistake. No doctor was available. I believe Xanax or Ativan would have helped. I went home and suffered rather than play into that crazy scheme. I think I got it by using Straterra for a few days. It stopped after a few weeks of no meds.


My legs hurt so much at the start...felt like major bone pain in my lower legs...just horrible ache...like a burn too..cried a lot but at that time I had no idea it was withdrawal.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#31 Songbird

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 01:51 PM

I think the worst about the waves is how while you'r IN it you think, "This must be me, this can't be WD, I'm the problem, etc" ...  Then these GREAT windows open up  and you feel SOOOOOO NORMAL and you praise the Lord, you're FREE (for the moment) and WD seems so far away and then.............it isn't.
Anyone relate?


Oh, yes, even though I'm tapering not CT, I still ride this rollercoaster. "This must be the real me, this is what I'll be like off meds" (depressed, irritable, etc.). Then when I feel great it feels like the "real me", or the me I would like to be anyway, but then I worry that it is just hypomania from w/d. And after the high of the hypomania comes the big dip again...

2001-2002 Jul - Feb Aropax 2003 Feb-Dec Citalopram 2004 Jul Aropax 20mg
2005-2007 various failed tapers  2007 Feb 20mg … Nov 6mg
2008 Jan 5.5mg Feb 5mg Mar 4.5mg Apr 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009 24 Jan 12.5mg … 18 Dec 6.3mg     2010 30 Aug 6.15mg 28 Nov 6 mg
2011 20 Feb 5.9mg … 26 Dec 5.3mg       2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
2013 25 Jan 4.9mg … 15 Dec 4.4mg       2014 18 Jan 4.3mg … 8 Dec 3.45mg
2015 Jan 3.4mg Apr 3.3mg May 3.2mg Jul 3.1mg Aug 3.0mg 18 Sep 2.9mg 24 Nov 2.8mg 25 Dec 2.7mg

2016 5 Feb 2.6mg

Blog: http://anxietystuff.weebly.com


#32 coldturkmama

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 02:02 PM

I think the worst about the waves is how while you'r IN it you think, "This must be me, this can't be WD, I'm the problem, etc" ...  Then these GREAT windows open up  and you feel SOOOOOO NORMAL and you praise the Lord, you're FREE (for the moment) and WD seems so far away and then.............it isn't.Anyone relate?

Oh, yes, even though I'm tapering not CT, I still ride this rollercoaster. "This must be the real me, this is what I'll be like off meds" (depressed, irritable, etc.). Then when I feel great it feels like the "real me", or the me I would like to be anyway, but then I worry that it is just hypomania from w/d. And after the high of the hypomania comes the big dip again...

Try not to worry that it is hypomania....after all sooo many people have come out the other side of tjis and are living life the way it was meant to be lived and have beaten withdrawal. We will too!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#33 Songbird

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 02:10 PM

Yes, we will!  I would take the hypomania permanently if I could, LOL!


2001-2002 Jul - Feb Aropax 2003 Feb-Dec Citalopram 2004 Jul Aropax 20mg
2005-2007 various failed tapers  2007 Feb 20mg … Nov 6mg
2008 Jan 5.5mg Feb 5mg Mar 4.5mg Apr 5mg Jun 10mg Jul 20mg Oct Loxamine Dec 17.5mg 15mg
2009 24 Jan 12.5mg … 18 Dec 6.3mg     2010 30 Aug 6.15mg 28 Nov 6 mg
2011 20 Feb 5.9mg … 26 Dec 5.3mg       2012 19 Feb 5.2mg 14 Oct 5.1mg 6 Dec 5mg
2013 25 Jan 4.9mg … 15 Dec 4.4mg       2014 18 Jan 4.3mg … 8 Dec 3.45mg
2015 Jan 3.4mg Apr 3.3mg May 3.2mg Jul 3.1mg Aug 3.0mg 18 Sep 2.9mg 24 Nov 2.8mg 25 Dec 2.7mg

2016 5 Feb 2.6mg

Blog: http://anxietystuff.weebly.com


#34 coldturkmama

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 02:38 PM

Yes, we will!  I would take the hypomania permanently if I could, LOL!


I read up on hypomania and unless you ceel UP accompanied with restlessness and not needing much sleep, etc than its just a ni e normal window. We will beat this thing. Time heals! :)
LOL I'm sure we'd all take the windows from here on out if we could!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 


#35 OffEFFexor

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 06:36 PM

 

Yes, CTM, I relate.  10 months out CT Efffexor.


Sucks so bad. What are your waves and windows like? Hourly...daily. ...weekly...or do you get good windows at all?

 

Kinda 4 hour blocks.  Whenever I feel at my worst, I can be pretty sure that within 4 hours I will feel at the very least not as bad.  This morning, I had bit when I felt like dying; 4-6 hours later, I felt darn near normal.  So weird.


1983-1995: On and off several tricyclic ADs
1995: Quit alcohol, started Prozac
2003: Stopped Prozac; 2004: Started Effexor XR 225
2014: Tried and failed three rapid tapers; stopped cold turkey March 11, 2014, eight days of Prozac as a bridge.
March 19, 2014: SSRI/SSNI free; four weeks acute withdrawal, then five month window of minimal symptoms.

Sept 2014-June 2015: Delayed, prolonged severe withdrawal from Effexor. Roller coaster, way up and way down.  Symptoms swing widely. Clear improvement in Mar-Apr, but still much hell. In May symptoms shifted to insomnia and depression, less HA, tinnitus and brain fog.

July-Sept 2015: After two weeks of using CES device, tremendous relief of insomnia, depression and other symptoms. Feeling much better, finally! Symptoms still come and go, good and bad days.Sneaking up on return to good health.  Alto gave me a 'Here Comes the Sun'!!!  ☼

Oct 2015-Feb 2016: Difficult several months, some good days but the bad days felt like I'm moving backwards.  Struggling after steady improvement, but hanging tough.

 

Current supplements:  Mg-Threonate; glutathione; krill oil; borage oil; phosphatidyl choline; multivite, vit B12, vit C, vit D vit E; OTC meds pseudoephedrine in the AM and benadryl at bedtime.  Clonidine 0.2 bid for high blood pressure.

Filled with hope, courage and self-appreciation.


#36 coldturkmama

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Posted 10 January 2015 - 07:01 PM

Yes, CTM, I relate.  10 months out CT Efffexor.


Sucks so bad. What are your waves and windows like? Hourly...daily. ...weekly...or do you get good windows at all?
Kinda 4 hour blocks.  Whenever I feel at my worst, I can be pretty sure that within 4 hours I will feel at the very least not as bad.  This morning, I had bit when I felt like dying; 4-6 hours later, I felt darn near normal.  So weird.

So weird. I have odd patterns like that by times. Cant wait for this to be behind me.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 






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