coldturkmama

Coldturkmama: paxil 14 years, cold turkey, protracted withdrawal.

315 posts in this topic

On my phone the signature doesn't show up, so that sucks.

Yeah, I'd probably hold for a while for sure. Cold turkey sucks! :/ ugh. I wish you well. <3

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Here's an annoying thing....

I get these energy spurts where I feel like I'm on speed (I've never done speed just assuming LOL) And it's like I can't stop, I have to go go go....today for example I cleaned, hung laundry, took the car to the shop, ran some errands, did newborn photos, cleaned up, cleaned both my kids' rooms, hung more laundry, changed the rabbit cage, did loads of dishes, ran kids to and from etc and made supper and still I'm wide awake.

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I read that you also CT I also did I stopped taking Citalopram and a Z drug . The first year and a half was total hell all the WD symptoms were there but lots have gone but I can't take any stress at all. I took care of my hubby who had termanil cancer and passed away on the 22 october . I was so anxous that everything would start strong WD again but I thank GOD that I've been coping well some days are bad but never as bad as before . So we do heal in many ways

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Oh my goodness, you've certainly been through a lot. I hope you are doing better now?

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While I can see how much I've healed, I hate the slams of waves when they come crashing down.

I'm soon due for my period so I'm sure the hormones don't help. It's hard to believe that after 36 months things can be like this. I am a huge do not cold turkey advocate after having gone through what I have. Especially if you've been on the drug for 14 or more years. Yikes!

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CT,

 

Why did you cold turkey? Did your doctor tell you it was ok? 

 

I had to due to the extreme side effect of akathisia but I don't know if I would have tapered in the first place. I had CT'd off of the same med back in 2003 or 2004 and didn't have any problems. My doctor started a taper of 25% and I had, what I now know, were really bad withdrawal symptoms. He said it was my depression returning. If I had gone slower I might have been ok. It wasn't long after that though that the akathisia kicked in. I think my benzo had been keeping it at bay but I reached tolerance and it stopped working for the side effect. So now I have withdrawal symptoms from the CT and I'm snail slow tapering off of my benzo because I am having tolerance withdrawal symptoms from it. It was either updose or taper off. 

 

I hope you are at least getting more windows and that they are longer. Do you find stress causes waves? I know my cycle causes problems for me too. 

 

Hugs

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I CT'd because I didn't know any better. My Dr never told me that I needed to taler off etc

Actually over the years I was on it I had cold turkeyed a few different times, some times I'd forget to take it for a while and always thought it was just me when the symptoms flared up. Now I know better.

I was having tolerance or poop out symptoms though it was no longer working for me.

I am getting a lot more windows than waves I'd say, it just hits so hard when the waves do hit.

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CTM. Don't feel bad. There are many of us in the same boat. It's not you - it was the doctors and Big Pharma. We all know the story now but back then we were clueless.  We did what we were told to do.  Period. :huh:  Never again !

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AliG, never again is right!

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Never again, and my kids will never take a psych med, either!

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There are natural alternatives but people think that these pills are the safe way, easy way, etc but they just are not. 

 

Ughhhh the waves suck....I'm in to about a week of one...:( 

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So sorry, CTM. I seem to have almost all waves these days. I'm sure the stress from the holidays contributes!

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I'd imagine, that's probably true. :(

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So, this wave seems like a particularly bad one.  My period is due any day now so I know once that comes I'll probably get a little bit of relief. Hormones suck!

I was wondering if anyone has any information on cold turkey success stories that took longer than 3 years?

I clearly see the pattern of waves and windows in my life, the first year being the WORST.

Now I get windows that last some times for a few weeks, or hours, etc but the waves just seem terrible.  I don't know if they seem terrible because the good is SOOO good that it just sucks to be zapped back there or what. Ugh.

I still get brain zaps at times as well.

I calculated wrong before, it would seem I was actually on paxil for about 17 yrs altogether, so I guess 3 years isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things when things are getting so much better, but I just hate these waves. Anyone relate or have any advice? 

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Been thinking of you are hoping you are doing OK.

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Nothing much new to report...windows and waves....lalala lol 

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Ditto!! But we are getting closer and closer to freedom. Even we snails. ;)

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Winter time is the worst time in the world....ugh, I really hate the long days, dark evenings and cold weather. 

Being in Canada you might think it's super cold/dark all the time, but it's not.  It's only really blah from about the middle of December to the end of March.

It seems the worst time for snowfall where I am is in those months which makes it harder to get out, harder to keep busy- and so- you are stuck with your brain a lot more lol

 

I'm due for my period in 4 to 5 days and just before that time, almost EVERY month I experience way worse symptoms. Head is tight, head pressure, anxiety, ruminating thoughts, basically my brain won't shut it's mouth, and more. It's frustrating but usually by the 2nd day of my period I feel a bit better.

The last little while I can't clearly see a pattern for windows/waves which is frustrating me.

I mean, two or three days ago I felt GREAT......about 95% awesome and now here I am again feeling not one bit awesome! lol

 

With three kids and a husband and a pretty busy life, I am trying my best to forge ahead but at times I must admit it is difficult.

 

I am holding out high hopes that by the time I reach 4 years out in October, that I'll be freeeee...

One can dream! :)  

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I used to like winter a little. I would do some snowshoeing in the woods with my husband. It has been a warm winter and we haven't had much snow. We also moved all of 75 miles south but it seems to have made a big difference in the amount of snow we get. We keep seeing where we used to live getting hammered this winter. If we hadn't moved I wouldn't be in withdrawal and we would be out snowshoeing. In a different world! 

 

I'm not currently a fan of winter right now either. It seems the cold makes all my sxs worse. I have noticed that storms even in the summer will sometimes trigger sxs. Do you have that experience?

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you are still struggling with such bad waves. How frustrating that must be for you. The dark and cold don't help at all I'm sure!! 

 

Hugs 

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You really have your hands full with 3 kids! I applaud you for being able to keep going the way you are. Do keep believing. One day you will be free!

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I used to like winter a little. I would do some snowshoeing in the woods with my husband. It has been a warm winter and we haven't had much snow. We also moved all of 75 miles south but it seems to have made a big difference in the amount of snow we get. We keep seeing where we used to live getting hammered this winter. If we hadn't moved I wouldn't be in withdrawal and we would be out snowshoeing. In a different world! 

 

I'm not currently a fan of winter right now either. It seems the cold makes all my sxs worse. I have noticed that storms even in the summer will sometimes trigger sxs. Do you have that experience?

 

I'm so sorry to hear that you are still struggling with such bad waves. How frustrating that must be for you. The dark and cold don't help at all I'm sure!! 

 

Hugs 

 

You know I never did connect storms to my WD symptoms, but you never know....

I do know that I am feeling better today- so YAY! :)  

Snow is almost all gone and the sun is out! 

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You really have your hands full with 3 kids! I applaud you for being able to keep going the way you are. Do keep believing. One day you will be free!

 

Not much of a choice I guess! lol can't give them away haha :) 

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The sun is out here today too. I hope your wave continues to recede and you have a nice loooooong window.

 

Hugs

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"Not much of a choice I guess! lol can't give them away haha :)"

 

Ah, I know the feeling. Had kids at home when I went through my AD stuff. So true, can't give them away! :lol:

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Isn't that the truth. I had little kids the first time I went through being on AD's. They turned me into a zombie and my husband did most of the work!! Do you have someone that helps you cause this w/d stuff is worse than the zombie thing I went through with little kids. Sometimes I'm surprised they survived though  :P .

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It's been a while since my last update...

I usually check things out from my phone & since I can't remember my password (it's on my computer, automatically) I don't usually sign in.

I thought I'd come give an update. 

I really wish I'd left better notes on my recovery, so I could look back and clearly see big huge strides I've made.

 

I feel as though this whole process is so frustrating.....1 step forward.....3 back, rinse and repeat.

It's been incredibly hard at times and although I've always tried to put a positive spin on things, some time there is just nothing positive about this mess.

 

I have felt a variety of symptoms over the years, but after 3.5 years off the stuff- I can honestly say I still feel pretty crappy at times, which sucks when I see people fully recovered at 4.5 yrs and I think, hmm will I be there in a year?  I am praying YES! 

 

I saw a pharmacist/Dr person who thinks my adrenals aren't functioning properly, or my thyroid.  I figure this has been brought on by WD. 

I am fatigued at times, so badly that I don't want to get off the sofa or bed, but I have to since I have three kids! 

I found out my iron is low, so I've had to take a supplement for that- I have no real idea if that's affecting me at all in regards to WD stuff because I was already feeling kinda gross.

My windows are very clear when I have them (those wonderful days!!) but the rest of the time it's small windows with a mixed bag of issues going on. When it's a bad wave, I definitely know it and feel pretty bad. 

I hope everyone is doing OKAY and fighting the fight! 

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Thank you for checking in. I'm sorry things are still so rough for you, but, oh, those wonderful windows. Hang onto those memories of woindows and know they mean your brain still does know how to right itself! And it is still hard at work doing it!

 

(((Hugs)))

MN

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I'm echoing MNgal. I'm really glad you are getting really clear windows at times. 

 

I remember reading something about adrenals and being careful about taking anything for them during w/d because the supplements to help your adrenals can rev up your symptoms. Kind of darned if you do and darned if you don't type of thing. I think it was in a thread on cortisol, or panic and anxiety, or morning wakings. Somewhere in there. Not sure how helpful that information is. 

 

I think of you often as you are blazing the path before me. I'm 10 and a half months from my CT. Knowing you are still going strong despite the trials of w/d, and having three kids to take care of, helps me keep faith that I can get throug it too. 

 

I also take an iron supplement. I'm not sure if it has helped or not. I increased my dose after a visit to the doctor and had a window about 19 days later. Probably just a coincidence but it does make you wonder!!

 

I hope you have a lot more of those wonderful windows.

 

Hugs and healing

T

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I'm echoing MNgal. I'm really glad you are getting really clear windows at times. 

 

I remember reading something about adrenals and being careful about taking anything for them during w/d because the supplements to help your adrenals can rev up your symptoms. Kind of darned if you do and darned if you don't type of thing. I think it was in a thread on cortisol, or panic and anxiety, or morning wakings. Somewhere in there. Not sure how helpful that information is. 

 

I think of you often as you are blazing the path before me. I'm 10 and a half months from my CT. Knowing you are still going strong despite the trials of w/d, and having three kids to take care of, helps me keep faith that I can get throug it too. 

 

I also take an iron supplement. I'm not sure if it has helped or not. I increased my dose after a visit to the doctor and had a window about 19 days later. Probably just a coincidence but it does make you wonder!!

 

I hope you have a lot more of those wonderful windows.

 

Hugs and healing

T

 

 

Thank you so much <3

I have also read that we need to stay away from anything that might mess with our adrenals so even though it's tempting to chase after a quick fix, it would really just mess things up MORE from what I've read. 

I am praying and believing...:) My faith is the only thing that has gotten me through these past few years. :) 

I hope you are doing well. 

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Hi CTmama,

 

I was wondering, do you have more windows, clear or other, than waves now a days?

 

I just experienced my first window in six months and it was wonderful. It wasn't clear all the time but it was on a few occasions and oh how glorious those days were. I'm back in a wave now as is the pattern most of us experience. 

 

I'm hoping that you are having some wonderful windows and are able to get out and enjoy any good weather you might be having.

 

Hugs and healing

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Sorry

 

Hi CTmama,

 

I was wondering, do you have more windows, clear or other, than waves now a days?

 

I just experienced my first window in six months and it was wonderful. It wasn't clear all the time but it was on a few occasions and oh how glorious those days were. I'm back in a wave now as is the pattern most of us experience. 

 

I'm hoping that you are having some wonderful windows and are able to get out and enjoy any good weather you might be having.

 

Hugs and healing

 

Sorry! Hadn't been on in a bit to answer you.

Honestly, I've had a lot of really good windows and a lot of really crappy waves! Some days I feel 100% awesome, amazing and WD is just sort of 2% lingering.  Other days 100% terrible. 

I've prayed, and I have faith things will get better- symptoms will gooo! :)  Hope you are having a good day today. :) 

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No worries. I'm always hoping you're out living your life and I know you have little ones to care for. 

 

I was really hoping that I would have a light wave but it has been 100% horrible like you describe. Too bad there is no way to know which days will be which so we could plan activities around them (I have severe agorahobia so am housebound when in a wave). 

 

I hope that you are doing well today.

 

Hugs and healing

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No worries. I'm always hoping you're out living your life and I know you have little ones to care for. 

 

I was really hoping that I would have a light wave but it has been 100% horrible like you describe. Too bad there is no way to know which days will be which so we could plan activities around them (I have severe agorahobia so am housebound when in a wave). 

 

I hope that you are doing well today.

 

Hugs and healing

 

I certainly would hope and wish the same for you!

Life is full of ups and downs but when you are dealing with WD it is certainly a whole nothing issue, isn't it?

I'll add you to my prayers- :)   You will overcome this with time and healing. The human body is remarkable with what it is capable of.

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Thanks for adding me to your prayer list. I'll put you on mine as well. 

 

So sorry we had to CT from our meds but we will make it through. Lots of things in life to do yet :)

 

Hugs and healing always

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Thought I'd come do a little update today.

Things have been OKAY.

I had a good window that was kinda awesome, lasted two days.

Still believing that I'll be totally healed! The brain is awesome, and God is good!!

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Hi I'm not sure but do u have body pain. I have pain in the right side of my back for 2 years and I'm to scared to go to Drs in case it's something serous. How I hate this all

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