coldturkmama

Coldturkmama: paxil 14 years, cold turkey, protracted withdrawal.

316 posts in this topic

Hi I'm not sure but do u have body pain. I have pain in the right side of my back for 2 years and I'm to scared to go to Drs in case it's something serous. How I hate this all

I have pain doggiemama. My muscles hurt all over my body and I have burning skin that comes and goes. Not fun let me tell ya! 

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I do.

My legs have felt heavy as tree trunks. I've had shin pain in the first if withdrawal and major lower back pain. My back would go out for years before I got off the stuff and since my first two years of withdrawal my back pain hasn't been nearly as bad. Yay!!

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yay for windows!

 

love your positive attitude...stay strong,we're getting closer everyday to recovery!

 

xxx

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Yeah can't wait to read your success stories one day....as well as write mine!  :)

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Me too! Going to be awesome!

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Coldturkeymama, I was on paxil 10mg then cold turkey after 3 years, you really give me hope!

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How are you doing?

Have you been off Paxil long?

Such a bad drug. We will heal though, just takes some time. ;)

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Not so hot at the moment I'm in a 2 month bad wave.... I've been off 9 almost 10 months so I'm the scheme of things bot long, but I was only on it for 3 years so hoping recovery is coming soon. We will all heal for sure! The time frame just sucks.

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Do you feel like your symptoms have been mostly physical or mental?

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Time frame blowssss

I feel like I've had both pretty bad, physical and mental stuff, which sucks.

I still get brain zaps by times as well.

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Things are still plugging along.

I'm so glad my sleep has improved! In the start I would get very little sleep. I would jolt awake with panic and heart palpitations and didn't know what was happening.

I'd often lay awake for hours as well.

Now I can go to sleep at 10 and sleep well until 3-4 then usually have an hour of insomnia and then sleep til 7, so I consider that much improved.

I've even slept in today and didn't have the insomnia hour!!

 

I started tracking my progress and there is really no rhythm to it.

I used to get bigger windows too, now things are more choppy. Odd to me but it is what it is.

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What’s the mental stuff like? Desire to think negatively? Or is your brain giving you more rest than in the previous years of withdrawal?

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Mental stuff, well I get some relief but my mind will tend to go to negative/fear/worry, etc

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Unbelievable how our minds want us to suffer. I hope you have found the button to not get dragged into these negative spirals.

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It's difficult.

I have head pressure and zaps still as well, although the pressure is a LOT better than it was. It used to be constant!

I find I'm stressed out easier, and since I have three kids you can imagine how that is!

Lol

I get fake UTI's as I call them, all the problems of one but it's not actually a UTI.

I also get really tired at times, which sucks because I've got a lot to do.

I do manage to work but I work my own schedule, if I had to do a 9-5, I can't imagine.

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Don’t be harsh on yourself and do what you can handle.

 

Being stressed out is an emotional reaction. In itself that’s not a problem. Just don’t transform the energy into thoughts. Dare to feel!

Don’t talk it away.

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Yes, I try! :)

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I find that when I'm feeling bad (what I like to call *wavy*) my mind reasons everything out non-stop. I'm analyzing everything. It's exhausting!

For example, when I'm in a window, everything is just still. It's great, I usually feel about 90-95% awesome in a window and my brain is just chilling and going with the flow but then uh oh look out WAVE!

It is frustrating that there is no real pattern.

I used to get longer windows and now everything is more choppy.

Time is on our side, just need to keep plugging along.

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"I find that when I'm feeling bad (what I like to call *wavy*) my mind reasons everything out non-stop. I'm analyzing everything. It's exhausting!"

 

This sounds like a manifestation of an Emotional Spiral, you might try handling it in a similar manner. 

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How exactly?

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Actually I have been changing the channel lol but it's not always easy.

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I find that when I'm feeling bad (what I like to call *wavy*) my mind reasons everything out non-stop. I'm analyzing everything. It's exhausting!

 

It’s very exhausting indeed. And the explanation always justifies the anxiety, so you always end up with problems to solve. I have this too. My mind wants me too sink. With time this gets more and more clear to me.

I don’t believe in positive thinking. I try to feel the pain and not think at all.

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Changing the channel, like you're doing, which can be hard but improves with practice.  Distraction of any sort. AAF or the more aggressive DARE (do a site search for more on that). Analyzing thoughts takes a conscience decision to do so, so you need to make the decision not to, and stick to it.  Many of the thoughts will be repeats that have been hashed over and over again.  Identifying them like triggers and when they reappear telling them that they have been thought through and handled and it is no longer necessary to address them eventually helps too. It can be a slow tedious process and quite tiring, but it will work.

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Lay down with the fear of not having an explanation. That’s a game-changer as it stops the mechanical negative thinking. The alternative is to live with the fear caused by your thinking, a process which will repeat over and over again.

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Changing the channel, like you're doing, which can be hard but improves with practice. Distraction of any sort. AAF or the more aggressive DARE (do a site search for more on that). Analyzing thoughts takes a conscience decision to do so, so you need to make the decision not to, and stick to it. Many of the thoughts will be repeats that have been hashed over and over again. Identifying them like triggers and when they reappear telling them that they have been thought through and handled and it is no longer necessary to address them eventually helps too. It can be a slow tedious process and quite tiring, but it will work.

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Thank you for the advice, I will work on this more. I do find distraction very helpful, when I've got a busy schedule I can keep my mind from overthinking tooo much.

I was hoping things would be a lot better this far out, but seeing as how it was a cold turkey and I was on the drug 15-16 yrs, I guess it's a miracle I'm doing as well as I am!

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And thank you MIT, I appreciate your thoughts on this. ????

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Hi CTmama,

 

How is your summer going? Are the kids home all day? I hope you have been having more windows than waves. I've been thinking of you.

 

Hugs and continued healing,

T

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