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Learning to rest in God


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#37 Wildflower0214

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Posted 04 January 2015 - 04:34 PM

During the worst years of my WD I was totally lost and didn't know what to believe in... that led to hopelessness. Being influenced into a belief system of strict moral obedience or hell made things worse as well. I kept thinking about suicide nonstop for a period of one year when my symptoms were the strongest.

I too am trying to develop a solid belief system to get me through the tough times, so far I came up with this:

I read a lot of near-death experiences during my time of suicide contemplation, some of which influenced my current beliefs. Some people were told during their NDE that all their suffering was part of the plan set for their life, a plan which they agreed to fulfill before being born on earth even. Some people were told their plan during the experience, and they were really excited about it so much that they were willing to return to earth to continue their suffering because of the good that will result from it for others on earth and in their spiritual growth in the afterlife (although they were also told that they will not be allowed to remember their plan when they return to their bodies). Many were also told that if they committed suicide, they'd have to return back into the mortal realm to relive all their suffering from the beginning.

This is the best I got ATM, and I hope it will help me through the tough times which might await me in the future. If all this suffering is running according to plan designed by a God of unconditional love, will result in great good for me and others, then it makes some sense for me to keep going and get it right the first time.

It's unfortunate that I'd have to use NDEs for this, and no one can be certain this is all true, but I feel like there aren't any answers to the big questions of life anyway, yet a strong foundation of optimistic beliefs is essential for getting through the suffering, so I choose to believe the best thing I could come up with.

Thanks, Muddles, for directing me to this thread and to this post in particular. It really helps and reminds me of the belief system I had before I took the drugs and my life changed.

I've always believed in God, not necessarily always in the conventional sense but the belief has always been there. I also believed in reincarnation. I was fascinated by near death experiences and had several books on the subject.

A few years ago I read an amazing book..one of the most fascinating books I've ever read. It's called 'journey of souls' by Michael Newton. He used to do past life regression and would take people back to past lives through hypnotherapy. During one session, he was amazed when he accidentally (from what I remember) took a woman back to a life IN BETWEEN lives. He started to do this work with others. There were many, many similarities between the stories. People experienced an incredible sense of peace. They also talked about soul groups, which really resonated with me, and of choosing life experiences before being born. I always believed that we were here to learn, choosing different experiences in each life to learn a different lesson. This book felt so right.

Since being slammed by the drugs, all that got lost. All my spiritual connection was severed. I'm sure many people here feel that too. I tried and tried to reach out to God but couldn't feel it. I had a semi window a couple of weeks ago and I actually felt my connection to god again, after 15 months without it. During that time I felt and saw people healing from this. I not only felt that people would get better, I KNEW it. So take heart..this can suddenly come back unexpectedly. My window shut and I currently can't access my spirituality but it was definitely there for a couple of days.

This post, reminding me that in NDEs people were told that they needed to fulfil a mission in this life, is a great reminder to keep pushing forward with this experience. It may be a dreadful one but it's still an experience.

WT,

Reading your description of your experince in your window made me feel better. I have been all over the map with spirituality. One week anything about God or religion petrifies me (I have no idea why), the next week I can feel some connection to God, the next week I'm numb, then the cycle repeats.

I'm just glad I know someone else has had shifts in their perception of spiritual matters. It has really bothered me, and others I have talked to don't seem to struggle as much in this way...

I'm just glad I can feel anything, even if only for a few days, I guess.
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#38 LoveandLight

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 05:32 AM

I know what you mean that sometimes the thing that brings you most comfort can petrify you. I've been frightened of a lot of strange thing recently. One of the strangest is when people talk about or I hear about a job ending, or something closing down or even (don't laugh, I know this is totally nuts, lol) but I can tell you guys, the Hoover packing in! It reminds me of death and for some reason, although it didn't before, death scares me a lot just now. Even though I've been suicidal recently, it does.

Winning through, what a beautiful post!

Xx
2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.


Nightmare that could have been avoided!

#39 SelmaLady

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 05:48 AM

I know what you mean that sometimes the thing that brings you most comfort can petrify you. I've been frightened of a lot of strange thing recently. One of the strangest is when people talk about or I hear about a job ending, or something closing down or even (don't laugh, I know this is totally nuts, lol) but I can tell you guys, the Hoover packing in! It reminds me of death and for some reason, although it didn't before, death scares me a lot just now. Even though I've been suicidal recently, it does.

Winning through, what a beautiful post!

Xx

I have felt the exact same way, J.  And I know of others with the same guttural fear.  Anything that is ending makes me feel as tho I will be obliterated with it.  Utter lack of any control over my own existence.  The only thing that brings relief for me is to remember that this is God's universe and He keeps me in His care.  This morning, after another scary scary dream, I am in that place of feeling as tho I am falling through eternity with no way to escape.  Awful, awful feeling.    Lord, keep us from falling.


1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1988- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zolft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Mico Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 01.10

 

 


#40 SelmaLady

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 05:59 AM

 

I know what you mean that sometimes the thing that brings you most comfort can petrify you. I've been frightened of a lot of strange thing recently. One of the strangest is when people talk about or I hear about a job ending, or something closing down or even (don't laugh, I know this is totally nuts, lol) but I can tell you guys, the Hoover packing in! It reminds me of death and for some reason, although it didn't before, death scares me a lot just now. Even though I've been suicidal recently, it does.

Winning through, what a beautiful post!

Xx

I have felt the exact same way, J.  And I know of others with the same guttural fear.  Anything that is ending makes me feel as tho I will be obliterated with it.  Utter lack of any control over my own existence.  The only thing that brings relief for me is to remember that this is God's universe and He keeps me in His care.  This morning, after another scary scary dream, I am in that place of feeling as tho I am falling through eternity with no way to escape.  Awful, awful feeling.    Lord, keep us from falling.

 

Prayed this morning, asking God for comfort for this awful feeling of being extinguished.  Saw this Bible Verse on a devotional site that I go to.  It gave me peace and certainty that God's care for us can never be overwhelmed.

 

John 1:5  New Living Translation (NLT)

The light shines in the darkness,
    and the darkness can never extinguish it.


1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1988- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zolft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Mico Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 01.10

 

 


#41 LoveandLight

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 06:23 AM

Totally know that falling feeling. At least we all know whats wrong with us..I didn't know for years..

Take care xx
2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.


Nightmare that could have been avoided!

#42 Wildflower0214

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Posted 05 January 2015 - 07:50 AM



I know what you mean that sometimes the thing that brings you most comfort can petrify you. I've been frightened of a lot of strange thing recently. One of the strangest is when people talk about or I hear about a job ending, or something closing down or even (don't laugh, I know this is totally nuts, lol) but I can tell you guys, the Hoover packing in! It reminds me of death and for some reason, although it didn't before, death scares me a lot just now. Even though I've been suicidal recently, it does.

Winning through, what a beautiful post!

Xx

I have felt the exact same way, J. And I know of others with the same guttural fear. Anything that is ending makes me feel as tho I will be obliterated with it. Utter lack of any control over my own existence. The only thing that brings relief for me is to remember that this is God's universe and He keeps me in His care. This morning, after another scary scary dream, I am in that place of feeling as tho I am falling through eternity with no way to escape. Awful, awful feeling. Lord, keep us from falling.
Prayed this morning, asking God for comfort for this awful feeling of being extinguished. Saw this Bible Verse on a devotional site that I go to. It gave me peace and certainty that God's care for us can never be overwhelmed.
John 1:5 New Living Translation (NLT)
5 The light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness can never extinguish it.

I like it!
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#43 Jopro

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Posted 14 January 2015 - 09:29 PM

What a beautiful thread.!
I feel Closer to the Lord just reading it.
For months ive had a total block in reading the bible at all. Almost a FEAR of the bible. (satan at work)

My terrible cognitive problems are,nt any help either!

When I do I always find things that scare me ...or make me feel condemned somehow.!
I only hear scripture by listening to sermons on line or occasionally I read devotionals.
You are all so wonderful here. Thankyou for giving me my hope back. x x x

Ct from 60mg Prozac May 2012

Taper from 2.4mg Nitrapepam  for 1 and half yrs.Finally over on Nov 17th 2014

Still in a very bad place :(


#44 lionofJuda

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Posted 19 January 2015 - 09:14 PM

 The level of destruction in my life is like a tornado that came and pulvarized my entire life, I was a very healthy individual I took those drugs and my life took a very sad turn, I have pssd and anorgasmia I honestly feel that I will never have a wife or children, I saved myself for marriage after my divorce, my career is in shambles all my dreams my finances too, I was truly following Christ but the level of destruction is unberable, prior to my life in Christ I had a life, now I am barely surviving the recovery is so painful, I have nothing all is lost, my health, my future and present I am trying to rest in God but I see no hope


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.


#45 Wildflower0214

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 09:11 AM

Well, if you are able to go to CBT therapy, strength train, and have a nervous system that will allow you to take Omega and Amino Acids and you have recovered from akathisia, I would say you have recovered A LOT!

So, to say there is no hope for recovery is not true. You have proven that, you have recovered a great deal. And, I think you said you are only just over a year off of drugs. So, you are fortunate to have seen such progress.

Stay hopeful, you have evey reason to believe you will recover with how much progress you have made already.

I know this is hard, but being a Christian does not keep us from pain. I wish it were so. I guess it gives us hope that we can survive it. It is not a promise of an easy life. I don't understand it, but I learned somewhere along the way that to think God was going to spare me pain in this world was setting myself up for a pretty hefty disappointment. The world is broken. Medicine is not 100%...nothing is...and nothing will be, until Heaven. There are no guarantees on earth. It's a harsh reality, but its truth. And, it was very difficult for me to accept, but necessary.

I hope you find some peace. I know we all need it. I do desperately, and it is hard to find and hold on to.

Prayers for us all that we recover sooner rather than later.
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#46 lionofJuda

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 05:10 PM

Thank you for your beautiul words of encouragement you are right  God spared my life, I have to think that there is hope

a light at the end of the tunner nevertheless, I get mind boggled when I remember all the pain and suffering those drugs are terrible

my only hope for healing is God, please keep in touch maybe our tragedy tomorrow will become a testimony of how God made a miracle in our lives

I been told that I will be a pastor, at this moment I am not sure I just learning to live day by day trusting in him. I play this at night

this is so soothing for the mind and spirit


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.


#47 lionofJuda

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 05:13 PM

I want this level  of faith

please watch it

 


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.


#48 Wildflower0214

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 06:00 PM

I want this level of faith
please watch it


This is surely a miracle and a LOT of faith. :)
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#49 Wildflower0214

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 06:04 PM

Sometimes, God uses what seems awful to glorify Himself.

I don't believe sickness was in the original plan for mankind, but Job surely learned a lot during his experience.

That is the way I have come to view this experience.

But, like you, I get tired. I am now. Weary.
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#50 Wildflower0214

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Posted 20 January 2015 - 06:07 PM

Thank you for your beautiul words of encouragement you are right God spared my life, I have to think that there is hope
a light at the end of the tunner nevertheless, I get mind boggled when I remember all the pain and suffering those drugs are terrible
my only hope for healing is God, please keep in touch maybe our tragedy tomorrow will become a testimony of how God made a miracle in our lives
I been told that I will be a pastor, at this moment I am not sure I just learning to live day by day trusting in him. I play this at night
this is so soothing for the mind and spirit

You are most welcome. Im always around here. We will stay in touch. You have already come out on the other end, and I wish I were as healthy as you. You have a lot of reason for hope.
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#51 SelmaLady

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 02:38 PM

A hymn that I sing over and over through this is , It Is Well With My Soul written by a man who had just lost four daughters to drowning.  I love all the verses but this is my favorite and is one that I had not song in church before so seems like it has been given at this time.

 

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

 

If Christ has given His own blood for me, then He has not forgotten me nor is He unaware of my suffering.  There is a purpose then and He is working now for good even in this.  I have to continually focus on that or the whole thing becomes more than I can bear. 


1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1988- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zolft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Mico Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 01.10

 

 


#52 SelmaLady

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 02:42 PM

JDM and LOJ:  Such a blessing to see God working to restore faith and hope. 


1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1988- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zolft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Mico Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 01.10

 

 


#53 Purplestars22

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 06:47 PM

I have some quotes that help me get through this:
You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away. (Job 11:16)
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. (Psalm 71:20)
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me. (Psalm 138:7
When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. (Psalm 138:3)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
Hope this helps
Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety
Failed attempt to stop reinstated
1 year taper skipping doses
Celexa free 12/2013
1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day
Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

#54 Wildflower0214

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 06:57 PM

JDM and LOJ: Such a blessing to see God working to restore faith and hope.


:) it is
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#55 Wildflower0214

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 06:59 PM

I have some quotes that help me get through this:
You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away. (Job 11:16)
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. (Psalm 71:20)
Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me. (Psalm 138:7
When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted. (Psalm 138:3)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference
Hope this helps


Thank you!! I like these. I'm writing them down. Thx again. It is nice to have the community of people here that share faith through this suffering.
2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor.....
5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses.

#56 Purplestars22

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 10:05 PM

JDM1984 glad you liked the quotes they give me so much hope and relief that I will get better with GODS guidance. I am grateful for this site of the exchange of ideas, support and valuable information of wd. I would be lost without this site.
Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety
Failed attempt to stop reinstated
1 year taper skipping doses
Celexa free 12/2013
1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day
Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

#57 lionofJuda

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 11:21 PM

 
DELIVERANCE AND HEALING FROM PERSCRIPTION MEDICATIONS

By: Mona S.

I was suffering from a life resulting from a lot of bad choices I made as a messed up person.  I was addicted to work and pleasing others. 

A couple weeks after 9/11 happened I went to a doctor because my heart was racing and I thought I was having a heart attack. I had stopped treating my sleep problems (I had insomnia my whole life) with natural products like vitamins and herbal teas and was drinking lots of coffee at work -- doing stuff that made me worse, including working 6 days a week and long hours. What I needed was to just let go and let GOD and a vacation.

The doc probably thought it was stress due to all going on in the country at the time.  She put me on a medication (I knew better than to do this!). It was called Paxil.  In 2 weeks I called her and told her I was worse.  She increased the dose.  This led to a nightmare for me.  In the 6 weeks I was on this drug I went what you call "MANIC". In all my years I had never gotten to this place before, even back many years ago when I did illegal drugs.

I was an outstanding employee; right arm to the president - helping doing various responsiblities of cleaning up a company they purchased.

During this time I stole thousands of dollars from my employer and spent it all in 6 weeks! Yes, me, who never stole a pencil from work.  I also did some other crazy things.  None of the money could be accounted for because I was out of my mind.  Fortunately I or nobody else lost their life during those 6 weeks.

I stopped the drug and crashed. I told them what I did. I got arrested and ended up in a 3 day stay at a mental hospital because I was afraid I would kill myself over what I had dThese psychiatric doctors said I was bipolar. Well who wouldn’t be after being on that drug.  Anyway, these doctors wanted me to sue the medical doc who put me on that drug because she should have taken me off it when I called at 2 weeks with worse symptoms.  Instead she had increased it. They kept telling me I had a great case. I didn’t want to sue anyone.

I had to go to court proceedings.  I should have been put in prison. BUT, THE LORD TOOK CARE OF ME THROUGH THIS.  Even though I did not plead insanity like the doctors told me to do (because I felt I should own up to the consequences of my actions), I pled guilty and did not present my medical issues. By the grace of God I got off with just probation and to make monthly payments for 10 years.

I was such a mess.  I let the doctors put me on drugs.  I believed the lie I was bipolar. After going through a lot of drugs, this is what I ended up on daily for a few years: (enough to put down an elephant): 900 mg Seroquel, 300 mg Topamax, 3 mg Ativan, 3 mg Klonopin and more that I forgot the names of.  Also, for my fibromyalgia: 3 different drugs daily.  I forgot what they were but they were muscle relaxers and pain meds.

 

 

So I was for sure not in my right mind.  I could not function. I went on disability and gained a ton of weight.  One of my daughters had to do my checkbook. I was a zombie.

It took some years of living like this before the Lord could break through the wall. But thanks to HIM I was delivered from all these very very addictive meds and HE HEALED me.

I had pain for 20 years.  I had insomnia my whole life, and was addicted to lots of medications. Now I am pain free and drug free and I sleep. Also, I am more “balanced” than ever before, due to looking to Jesus for my everything - not others, nor constant drugs.

Also - instead of this legal mess going on for 10 years, in just 4 years for no reason at all every legal issue was all dropped and my record was wiped clean and I no longer had to repay the monthly payments.  It was if it never happened.  Who could do this?? JESUS of course!!!!

I have walked many paths but that was a very dark, scary one.  Still - HE REMEMBERED ME!  The Lord just keeps restoring all that the enemy stole from me.  No matter what path you are currently on, Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Light!

 

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.


#58 lionofJuda

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Posted 25 January 2015 - 11:21 PM

 
DELIVERANCE AND HEALING FROM PERSCRIPTION MEDICATIONS

By: Mona S.

I was suffering from a life resulting from a lot of bad choices I made as a messed up person.  I was addicted to work and pleasing others. 

A couple weeks after 9/11 happened I went to a doctor because my heart was racing and I thought I was having a heart attack. I had stopped treating my sleep problems (I had insomnia my whole life) with natural products like vitamins and herbal teas and was drinking lots of coffee at work -- doing stuff that made me worse, including working 6 days a week and long hours. What I needed was to just let go and let GOD and a vacation.

The doc probably thought it was stress due to all going on in the country at the time.  She put me on a medication (I knew better than to do this!). It was called Paxil.  In 2 weeks I called her and told her I was worse.  She increased the dose.  This led to a nightmare for me.  In the 6 weeks I was on this drug I went what you call "MANIC". In all my years I had never gotten to this place before, even back many years ago when I did illegal drugs.

I was an outstanding employee; right arm to the president - helping doing various responsiblities of cleaning up a company they purchased.

During this time I stole thousands of dollars from my employer and spent it all in 6 weeks! Yes, me, who never stole a pencil from work.  I also did some other crazy things.  None of the money could be accounted for because I was out of my mind.  Fortunately I or nobody else lost their life during those 6 weeks.

I stopped the drug and crashed. I told them what I did. I got arrested and ended up in a 3 day stay at a mental hospital because I was afraid I would kill myself over what I had dThese psychiatric doctors said I was bipolar. Well who wouldn’t be after being on that drug.  Anyway, these doctors wanted me to sue the medical doc who put me on that drug because she should have taken me off it when I called at 2 weeks with worse symptoms.  Instead she had increased it. They kept telling me I had a great case. I didn’t want to sue anyone.

I had to go to court proceedings.  I should have been put in prison. BUT, THE LORD TOOK CARE OF ME THROUGH THIS.  Even though I did not plead insanity like the doctors told me to do (because I felt I should own up to the consequences of my actions), I pled guilty and did not present my medical issues. By the grace of God I got off with just probation and to make monthly payments for 10 years.

I was such a mess.  I let the doctors put me on drugs.  I believed the lie I was bipolar. After going through a lot of drugs, this is what I ended up on daily for a few years: (enough to put down an elephant): 900 mg Seroquel, 300 mg Topamax, 3 mg Ativan, 3 mg Klonopin and more that I forgot the names of.  Also, for my fibromyalgia: 3 different drugs daily.  I forgot what they were but they were muscle relaxers and pain meds.

 

 

So I was for sure not in my right mind.  I could not function. I went on disability and gained a ton of weight.  One of my daughters had to do my checkbook. I was a zombie.

It took some years of living like this before the Lord could break through the wall. But thanks to HIM I was delivered from all these very very addictive meds and HE HEALED me.

I had pain for 20 years.  I had insomnia my whole life, and was addicted to lots of medications. Now I am pain free and drug free and I sleep. Also, I am more “balanced” than ever before, due to looking to Jesus for my everything - not others, nor constant drugs.

Also - instead of this legal mess going on for 10 years, in just 4 years for no reason at all every legal issue was all dropped and my record was wiped clean and I no longer had to repay the monthly payments.  It was if it never happened.  Who could do this?? JESUS of course!!!!

I have walked many paths but that was a very dark, scary one.  Still - HE REMEMBERED ME!  The Lord just keeps restoring all that the enemy stole from me.  No matter what path you are currently on, Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Light!

 

Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.


#59 SelmaLady

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Posted 15 May 2015 - 07:08 AM

One of my "go to's" when I am overwhelmed and having no strength to go on.  This is a poem by a lady who had extreme pain for most of her life so I can trust that she understands. 

 

He Giveth More Grace

 

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

 

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

 

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

 

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.


1971-81  Valium 5mg c/t PAWS     1988- through now Zoloft 25mg    2003-05 Valium 12mg Slow Taper Off

2013 Afrin Exposure to CNS    2013 O/D Val 230mg    2013 Doxepin 50mg Clonidine 2mg Zolft 25mg

3/15/16  Doxepin 49mg Mico Tapering  Zoloft 24.3mg Holding taper

3/15/16 Clonidine mg 0.1 1/2 -    Decreasing incrementally. 

10/9/16  Doxepin 48.9  Zoloft 24.3  Clonidine  01.10  Continuing micro taper on Doxepin.

11/16/16 Doxepin 48mg  Zoloft 24.3mg  Clonidine 01.10

 

 


#60 lionofJuda

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Posted 06 September 2015 - 08:32 AM

Posted 06 September 2015 - 11:21 AM

DELIVERANCE AND HEALING FROM PERSCRIPTION MEDICATIONS

 

 

I was suffering from a life resulting from a lot of bad choices I made as a messed up person.  I was addicted to work and pleasing others. 

A couple weeks after 9/11 happened I went to a doctor because my heart was racing and I thought I was having a heart attack. I had stopped treating my sleep problems (I had insomnia my whole life) with natural products like vitamins and herbal teas and was drinking lots of coffee at work -- doing stuff that made me worse, including working 6 days a week and long hours. What I needed was to just let go and let GOD and a vacation.

The doc probably thought it was stress due to all going on in the country at the time.  She put me on a medication (I knew better than to do this!). It was called Paxil.  In 2 weeks I called her and told her I was worse.  She increased the dose.  This led to a nightmare for me.  In the 6 weeks I was on this drug I went what you call "MANIC". In all my years I had never gotten to this place before, even back many years ago when I did illegal drugs.

I was an outstanding employee; right arm to the president - helping doing various responsiblities of cleaning up a company they purchased.

During this time I stole thousands of dollars from my employer and spent it all in 6 weeks! Yes, me, who never stole a pencil from work.  I also did some other crazy things.  None of the money could be accounted for because I was out of my mind.  Fortunately I or nobody else lost their life during those 6 weeks.

I stopped the drug and crashed. I told them what I did. I got arrested and ended up in a 3 day stay at a mental hospital because I was afraid I would kill myself over what I had done.

These psychiatric doctors said I was bipolar. Well who wouldn’t be after being on that drug.  Anyway, these doctors wanted me to sue the medical doc who put me on that drug because she should have taken me off it when I called at 2 weeks with worse symptoms.  Instead she had increased it. They kept telling me I had a great case. I didn’t want to sue anyone.

I had to go to court proceedings.  I should have been put in prison. BUT, THE LORD TOOK CARE OF ME THROUGH THIS.  Even though I did not plead insanity like the doctors told me to do (because I felt I should own up to the consequences of my actions), I pled guilty and did not present my medical issues. By the grace of God I got off with just probation and to make monthly payments for 10 years.

I was such a mess.  I let the doctors put me on drugs.  I believed the lie I was bipolar. After going through a lot of drugs, this is what I ended up on daily for a few years: (enough to put down an elephant): 900 mg Seroquel, 300 mg Topamax, 3 mg Ativan, 3 mg Klonopin and more that I forgot the names of.  Also, for my fibromyalgia: 3 different drugs daily.  I forgot what they were but they were muscle relaxers and pain meds.

So I was for sure not in my right mind.  I could not function. I went on disability and gained a ton of weight.  One of my daughters had to do my checkbook. I was a zombie.

It took some years of living like this before the Lord could break through the wall. But thanks to HIM I was delivered from all these very very addictive meds and HE HEALED me.

I had pain for 20 years.  I had insomnia my whole life, and was addicted to lots of medications. Now I am pain free and drug free and I sleep. Also, I am more “balanced” than ever before, due to looking to Jesus for my everything - not others, nor constant drugs.

Also - instead of this legal mess going on for 10 years, in just 4 years for no reason at all every legal issue was all dropped and my record was wiped clean and I no longer had to repay the monthly payments.  It was if it never happened.  Who could do this?? JESUS of course!!!!

I have walked many paths but that was a very dark, scary one.  Still - HE REMEMBERED ME!  The Lord just keeps restoring all that the enemy stole from me.  No matter what path you are currently on, Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Light!

Staff Note:  To appreciate even more what God has done in Mona's life, you can read another testimony she has written:  http://www.precious-testimonies.com/BornAgain/L-N/Mona.htm

Many people ask God to take away their pain, (addiction;etc.) and leave it at that.  When He doesn't, they come to believe God doesn't care.  But for multitudes who have testified of the delivering and healing power of Jesus Christ becoming actively involved in their painful situations ... they had to be willing to place their total trust in Him, and then be willing to do everything He asked them to do from that point on. 

Jesus declares:  "Have faith in God" - Mark 11:22 

When Jesus stated that, the context in which it was intended was addressing this issue:  When there seems to be no way, God will make a way if we wholeheartedly trust Him.  When we've run out of human answers, God has answers we can't fathom, but we must wholeheartedly trust Him.  God always has and always will be the God who can execute ANY miracle.  The question becomes:  "How desperate and determined are we to trust Him for one?"

When we are in pain, we just want it to go away.  We want a "zap" from God in a moment of time so it will go away.  God has and does do that at times, but usually He DOESN'T because He sees areas in our lives that need to be dealt with first - often spiritual matters of serious importance - before deliverance and healing (and blessing) comes of our problems.

When it comes to sicknesses and diseases, often time we must be willing to change what we are putting into our bodies, as well as engaging in proper excercise.  Lifestyles may need changing, because stress kills.  What we are feeding our minds can be killing us.  What we think about can kill us.  There can be many issues God wants us to deal with before He's willing to execute healing on our behalf.

God allows us to reach points of pain where it will drive us to Him for relief.  It's in our times of desperation when we call out to Him and refuse to let Him go, that He sees a willingness in us to deal with certain issues we've minimized in the past ... or outright buried because of the trauma it has caused us, and/or aren't even consciously aware of. 

Sometimes it goes even deeper than that.  Sometimes it becomes necessary to have pointed, accurate prayer executed on behalf of demonic strongholds in the spirit realm that hold us ensnared, and unless those demonic strongholds are broken, we can walk around never walking in total victory.  Other times, breaking demonic strongholds off our lives involves changing the way we believe about things -- changing the way we go about trusting God and trusting His Word.

The person with serious health issues who does not have a trusted individual to help them deal with spiritual sickness issues has no recourse but to get alone with God and let God do what He knows is always best in their particular situation.  (Though getting alone with God should never be a last resort.  It should always be our first course of action!)  In so doing, we need to be trustingly patient with God.  We need to trust in Him to do what needs to get done in all areas of our lives -- doing whatever He wants us to do to work in co-operation with His plan -- and show a willingness to be teachable.  This is the soil in which miracles happen in our lives.

There is no sickness nor disease that faith in Jesus Christ can't heal.  There is no addiction/s faith in Jesus Christ can't set a person free from.  There is no situation on earth a person might be dealing with that faith in Jesus Christ doesn't have an answer for and the power to execute His answer.  His answer might not always be what we want at the time, but His answer/s will pay eternal dividends.  Jesus Christ has ALL power, because He and the Father and the Holy Spirit are God.  But we must be teachable.  Often - We must come to a place where there is no other option to turn to for help but Jesus.

Wiser words have never been stated.  For most people ... do you know when you'll get free from your addiction/s?  When you get desperate enough.  Do you know when you'll get healed from your sickness and disease?  When you get desperate enough.  When there seems to be no other way; when it seems like all hope is gone ... no matter how frustrated you are with God from times past or at present ... He is eagerly waiting for you to trust Him again and again and again and ... 

Trusting God can seem to be the hardest thing in the world.  I've tasted that painful, frustrating place.  Yet it's the wisest thing we can do -- leaning on Him to deal with our pain.  If it wasn't, I wouldn't be alive this moment writing this, nor would a multitude of others who have testimonies to share of the mighty power of God to deliver and heal and bless.  

Yet I believe we need to be very careful about forming beliefs that refuse to believe that God can take someone to glory through their sickness and/or disease.  We view things soley from this side of eternity.  Ever person who has died from some sickness or disease and passed into heaven never started complaining they were in in heaven, I have no doubt.

I'm of the belief that God wants us doing everything we know to do to help either ourselves or someone else become free of sicknesses and diseases, if they want our help -- yet be willing to hear the Holy Spirit say that it's time to let that person go on to glory if that is what God determines is best for the person, or ourselves.  

Sometimes the accumulated pain of life and/or the pain of the sickness or disease is too great for a person suffering (and sometimes those close to them).  Sometimes God weighs that issue and determines it is best to let that person come HOME.  Who are we to hinder that option, or get all bent out of shape about that option God many times uses? 

Sure we would like everyone to be totally healthy at death.  One moment perfectly healthy; then the heart stopping quickly and translation to heaven.  I'm guessing God would like the same.  But we don't live in a world YET that deals in "perfect situations".  That world is coming; it just is not here YET.  We live in a broken, chaotic world where sin and evil rages, and God works with us more at that level at present than in "perfect situations." 

We'll close with that.

- Norm Rasmussen, Director, Precious Testimonies

JESUS DID IT!  - or -  JESUS DID IT!

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Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.


#61 seekinghealth

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Posted 06 September 2015 - 04:02 PM

He Giveth More Grace

 

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

 

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

 

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

 

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

 

Selmalady,

Thank you for posting this! What a beautiful image of Christ holding us in His hands. I don't know how I would get through this experience without Him. I think about heaven a lot more lately. What a beautiful place that will be! No pain, no tears, no sorrow, no suffering. I am looking forward to it! But, right now, the Lord has me here....and I'm thankful for that as well. When I am lying awake at night and the rest of my household is sleeping, I feel His presence carrying me through.

 

There is a song by Meredith Andrews with an amazing verse that I repeat over and over as I lie awake and sleep won't come:

 

You were singing in the dark, whispering Your promise

Even when I could not hear.

I was held in Your arms, and carried for a thousand miles to show

Not for a moment, did You forsake me.

 

After all, You are constant, After all, You are only good,

After all, You are sovereign.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

 

We're not alone. Hang on!

 


Feb-May 2013 Took Setraline (Zoloft) 100mg for extreme postpartum insomnia. Also took Ativan (2mg-2 weeks) and Trazodone (50 mg- 1 month) for sleep. Tapered Traz, then Zoloft.

 

June-Sept 2013 Took Ativan (.5mg off and on) for rebound insomnia after stopping all daily meds.

 

Feb-March 2015 Second episode of extreme, sudden insomnia. Self-medicated with Ativan in order to sleep (.5mg-2.5mg). Started Zoloft (100mg) and Traz (100mg) again Mar 15. Spent one hellish week on Xanax.

 

Took last dose of Zoloft on Aug 3rd 2015 and holding on Traz (50mg). Planning to taper Traz after a while when Zoloft has had time to clear out.

 

 


#62 gemini

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Posted 07 September 2015 - 02:17 PM

I have doubts about existence of God and Jesus of the Christian Bible.
off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago.

#63 Darwin

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Posted 07 September 2015 - 10:06 PM

Don't mean to bash on your beliefs, but i just can't help but say Christianity or any religion for that matter is false spirituality. You're living someone else's truth. Why not create your own? You live your whole life worshipping a "god" that can't even communicate back to you. Then you live after your next life to spend eternity worshipping the same "god" what's freedom in that?
Even if this being existed he would be dimensions higher than us beings therefore leaving your prayers pointless. It's like us human beings trying to connect with ants,vice versa.
Seriously the only way to grow spiritually and mentally is to hop off your indoctrination and this religion Bull. It's illogical and another delusion to control the masses. 


Summer 2013: started on Prozac for OCD

Fall 2013: started Lexapro due to Prozac zombie effects

 

Stopped Lexapro because of lack of empathy/emotion,anxiety,lack of concentration etc.

Fall 2014: switched to zoloft 

 

February 2015: started effexor quit C/D after 2 weeks.

April 2015: was on zoloft for a month again to try and wean a bit more slowly. DID not work.

May 2015: dumped all of my medications

July 2015: Struggling day to day with withdrawal symptoms but hopeful that I'll be better at the end of august for the next school year.


#64 antidepressantsNoMore

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Posted 23 September 2015 - 06:44 AM

Believing in God and having faith is proven to strength both the body and mind. I think it is important to have "faith". A lot of people do not know what it means to have faith in God. It means putting all your struggles in Gods' hands by trusting him.


2013- stopped prestiq cold turkey

2015-  restarted Prozac 40 mg (feeling better)

2016 - Prozac 20 mg


#65 babtt

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Posted 27 October 2015 - 02:31 AM

I have a single thought we who believe in christ have a new spirit the same spirit that rose jesus from the grave.with have the power for complete healing and im claiming it.god is a healer the bible is full of healings.jesus healed everyone who came to him im claiming this.jesus said he came to give life and to the fullest im claiming this.
Zoloft 8yrs 50mg
Stopped march
Started late august 1 wk 50mg
Stopped after 1 wk
Started avanza 15mg pass 5 days oct 15
7.5 mg day 6

#66 tezza

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Posted 06 December 2015 - 10:52 AM

Don't mean to bash on your beliefs, but i just can't help but say Christianity or any religion for that matter is false spirituality. You're living someone else's truth. Why not create your own? You live your whole life worshipping a "god" that can't even communicate back to you. Then you live after your next life to spend eternity worshipping the same "god" what's freedom in that?
Even if this being existed he would be dimensions higher than us beings therefore leaving your prayers pointless. It's like us human beings trying to connect with ants,vice versa.
Seriously the only way to grow spiritually and mentally is to hop off your indoctrination and this religion Bull. It's illogical and another delusion to control the masses.


I'm sorry you feel that way, D... The God I know and serve can absolutely communicate with me. I serve a LIVING God that holds the Universe in His mighty hand. He has taken care of me when I didn't have enough wits to take care of my own self. He is a God of love and mercy. He didn't send His son to die for a bunch of goody goody two shoes either. God loves the sinner, God loves all... God IS love. I've been walking thru the lowest valley but guess what lilies bloom in the valley. When you can't stand anymore... Kneel...

Love, T
http://survivinganti...dal-withdrawal/

Seroquel and Mirtazipine

#67 lionofJuda

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Posted 06 December 2015 - 11:23 AM

Faith is personal journey, If you choose not to walk by faith there is nothing we can do about. You have to have faith to recover from all the damage done to your body by these medications. If you don't believe in God that is personal decision a personal journey like the one we decided to trust more some pills than a higher power to help us. Now we are paying the consequences of trusting science and men more than God  It was just so simple to trust him rather than doctors and their pills


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.


#68 wareagle82

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Posted 04 August 2016 - 10:54 AM

Wow.  I now understand why many forum members here are struggling so. 

 

You aren't free of any of this until/unless you drop this burden at Christ's feet.  I wasn't very religious either before the past few years, but my life is so much easier now that I have dropped my fears, anxiety, addictions and even my weird obtrusive withdrawal thoughts at His feet.  I trust my future to Him.  I know I am powerless without my faith in God to carry me.  I would've already given up my taper, as I had done so many times before, if it weren't for my faith.  I have tapped into His power and it has made my life so much easier!!!!  In all areas, not just AD withdrawal. 

 

My worklife is better, my relationships are better, and my creativity and zest for life have improved as well. 

 

I am more free--free from past mistakes, shame, worry--than I ever imagined. 

 

I am not trying to ram it down anyone's throat--I am just happily reporting my faith in God and what it has meant in my life.

 

I pray for many people on here, because Jesus interceded for me on the cross.  Miraculously, I can ask him to intercede for people by praying.  I have faith that it helps.  Not just the person needing prayer but it helps me to not focus on me! 

 

I was skeptical as many of you still are, but I gave it all to God.  He has convinced me thoroughly.  May each of you also receive His power and healing. 


Edited by KarenB, 23 August 2016 - 02:52 PM.
moved from 'losing faith'

Began Paxil for situational panic attacks in 2000. Then psych put me on Prozac to transition me to Lexapro in 2008. I forget the dosage of Paxil and Lexapro. Switched to100mg Sertraline since 2011.

 

75Mg taper began 06/21/2016. 67.5 mg taper began 07/10/2016. 61mg taper began 08/01/2016. 54mg taper began 08/24/2016. 48mg taper began 09/06/2016. 44mg taper began 09/20/2016. 40mg taper began 10/11/2016. 35mg began 10/25/2016. 25 mg began 11/15/2016.  20 mg began 12/03/2016.  12.5 mg began 12/22/2016.  DRUG FREE JANUARY 16, 2017!!

 

Began daily meditation 12/01/2016.  Very helpful!!

 

Prayer, always, and Acupuncture, as needed.<p>Isaiah 50:7 (NLT): Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be dismayed. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will triumph!


#69 btdt

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Posted 08 August 2016 - 07:37 PM

I too was cast out your not alone not only me but I am sure there is a God and that he is always with us even when we doubt he exists.. I was attracted to this thread today cause I feel faithless and yet I can't even read it all in case it pushes me over the edge I am that close... 

 

Yet I can't do it I cannot say what I know is a lie... I know there is a God cause when I have been over the edge before I found God there... yet I do not tempt my God or my faith.... 

 

I move and now I will take this as a cue to move a nudge in the right direction... I will take a bath... I will seek my own answers while I know he attempts to help me.. it is my will that allows me to move....

 

churches are great but they do not always do the best of Gods work sometimes we are cast out to learn new lessons we can share with others once we are made stronger by the trial.... 

 

God is faithful... reach ask move...

 

if you can't lay still and try to calm your thoughts try all the things on here that have helped other people....... do something 

 

DO NOT GIVE UP .... IT IS NOT AN OPTION 

 

DO ANYTHING ELSE 

 

SEEK PEACE


Edited by KarenB, 23 August 2016 - 02:53 PM.
moved from 'losing faith'

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#70 triplem15

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Posted 19 September 2016 - 06:33 AM

Hello. I would like to join this thread. I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I have been for many years. Though I had believed I was walking closely with him, since I went into W/D and found that my body became very dependent on the medication, and had to RI at a small dose, and am now working toward good and steady, I have learned that my walk then was nowhere as close to Him as it is now. I have been struggling with how very difficult this has been. I have been struggling with questions around the why this Lord? I struggle with the process while in the wave as the Neuro emotion is intense at times and I feel fear in it. I do know this, He has faithfully kept me these past many months. He is closer to me now than ever. Yet this situation does challenge faith. Especially when the process is so slow. I do believe I am on the Potter's wheel as difficult as it has been. I am trusting him to deliver me in His time and in His way. I, by His grace will continue to hold His hand and walk. I have never needed Him more!!!! He has bee faithful to keep me. My total trust is in Him and His ability and power. I am learning that the timing will be His and it will be in His way but I am clinging to the promises of His word.
I do take Flonase,also take Zyrtec on and off. Maybe twice per week. I am on Vit. C, B-complex, Vit. D, selenium, Vit E, fish oil, and l-lysine and thats it. No street drugs. No alcohol. 9/2006 Welbutrin XL 150mg, Began Weaning June 15, 2015, Alternating days, changed each mos. Oct 2015 switch to Immediate release 37.5mg. mid october 2015 down to 18.75, (9.37mg twice daily. stayed there one mos.) Dec 2015 down to 9.37mg in AM and 7mg in PM, January 2016 down to 7mg AM and 4.6mg in PM. 4/5/16 cut down what I thought was 2.5 to 3mg. From 4/16/16 until yesterday, was not doing well. 4/20/16, 37.5mg yesterday for first time. 4/21/16 Two days now on 37.5mg. 4/22/16 took monitors advise and dropped dose to 18.75, split dose ,twice daily, now holding.

#71 Sheri755

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Posted 18 October 2016 - 02:10 PM

Hello. I would like to join this thread. I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I have been for many years. Though I had believed I was walking closely with him, since I went into W/D and found that my body became very dependent on the medication, and had to RI at a small dose, and am now working toward good and steady, I have learned that my walk then was nowhere as close to Him as it is now. I have been struggling with how very difficult this has been. I have been struggling with questions around the why this Lord? I struggle with the process while in the wave as the Neuro emotion is intense at times and I feel fear in it. I do know this, He has faithfully kept me these past many months. He is closer to me now than ever. Yet this situation does challenge faith. Especially when the process is so slow. I do believe I am on the Potter's wheel as difficult as it has been. I am trusting him to deliver me in His time and in His way. I, by His grace will continue to hold His hand and walk. I have never needed Him more!!!! He has bee faithful to keep me. My total trust is in Him and His ability and power. I am learning that the timing will be His and it will be in His way but I am clinging to the promises of His word.

Hi Trip,
I also reinstated in July. 5 beads of Effexor. I had a month long window recently and now in a six week wave.
I have thanked God for what I'm going through because through this my hubby has dealt with his previous anger issues towards me. Hes a totally different person now.

We were out of touch and church with like minded believers but, praise God that He allowed us to connect with a new church home and wonderful people just before this wave hit.

Also, we have started having devotionals and praying together nightly. Something we had never done before.

So I thank God if this is what it took to not only bring my hubby and me closer, but to also have a more personal, intimate relationship with Him, it is worth it! 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼
Effexor XR 300 (brand) mg & various SSRIs 15 yrs (Effexor XR 300 mg past 10 yrs
Clonazepam, 1.0 mg. am, .5 mg pm. - 15 yrs, 7-17-16- Began .5 three times a day
Vyvanse 60 mg, - 2 yrs, Cut to 50 mg for 6 mths, Cut to 30 mg. on 4-1-16. Tapering.
Approx. 4-1-15 began Effexor XR 300 taper, very slowly for a year. Held at 37.5 for about 3 mths. Cut to 18 mg for 2 wks to 0. WD began 2 wks later. Depression, anxiety, paranoia, low appetite, nausea.
7-14-16-Reinstated 5 beads Effexor after 4 mths of misery. Pooped out after 10 days.
9-12-16-to present- Wide eyed terror, bedridden with fear, no appetite or feeling of being full.
10-30-16- Began 15% liquid tapering of 30 mg Vyvanse. (25 mg)
11-13-16- Liquid Vyvanse 22 mg,11-27-16- Liquid 15 mg, 12-12-16- Vyvanse 12.5 for 5 days. 12-16 - 12-29, 15 mg.
11-20-16- Switched back to 1.0 clonazepam am & .5 bedtime
12-30-16- Moved to 15 mg COMPOUNDED Vyvanse.
Current meds:Effexor XR- 5 Beads, Clonazepam-1.0 mg am, .5 mg bedtime,Vyvanse-(tapering) Estradiol- 2
mg,Progesterone 200 mg,Testosterone 30 mg/ml,Nature Throid- 48.75 mg.(12-21-16, increased to 65 mg.)Current supplements: Fish Oil-1360 mg, Curamin- 2706 mg.

#72 Mellowplease

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Posted 07 March 2017 - 12:08 PM

I feel like God and my sister are the only ones I can trust. My trust in doctors is gone. I pray so fervently and I am guilty of asking God why he gave me the brain/ genetics/ situation he did. Daily apprehension and fear are gradually being replaced with acceptance and trust in Christ. This is difficult, especially the days when I am hit by a wave when I was praying for a window. Bless us all.
Mellowplease