AmyK

AmyK: Intro about myself

695 posts in this topic

Thankyou Hibari for your support! I am a little little better today. No crying at least.

Hugs to you!

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Soon out of the wave, I think. Head is better, sleeping is better. Burning is better. Restlessness is better.

When I was at 50 mg I felt totally numbed and zombiefied. I just existed. On this tiny tiny tiny dose of 0.013 mg I still feel the drug's power. Its just unbelievable. And schocking, really.

But I feel hopeful anyhow.

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Soon out of the wave I think.

 

Awesome, Amy.  You are doing so great.

 

 

 

On this tiny tiny tiny dose of 0.013 mg I still feel the drug's power. Its just unbeliavable. And schocking, really. 

 

In some ways, given your history, it makes perfect sense.  For someone to be as "attached" to the drug as you were after such a short time, there has to be a particularly high level of affinity of your receptors to the med.  In light of that fact, it is logically consistent that you are someone who needs to taper all the way off as opposed to jumping at a higher level.

 

You will get off and never have to look back.  I'm happy for you (and a little jealous truth be told).

 

Best,

 

Andy

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You are right, Andy. Thank you for stopping by and for the support. I have never heard of anyone going this low, actually. I read Hudgen's thread and he stopped at 0.02 mg, I think. Effexor.

I hope you are well, Andy. Just keep on!

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Sending ((((((((HUGS)))))))) from Cairo.

 

Brass

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Thank you, Brass! I thought of you when I heard about the recent events in Egypt. Good to hear you were'nt near.

We had a terror attack in Stockholm on friday. We've never had an attack like that, it was very frightening. But I am safe, and everybody I know of.

I have dropped again to 0.009 mg. Can you believe that? And I can feel it. Nauseous and brain foggy.

I have tapered down 49,99 mg in total. Ridiculous small now!

 

Keep on, everyone!

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It's total insane, but it's so true.

Incredible battle and you are winning! Hats off!

 

Hugs Amy!

Lex

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How are you now, Lex? Hugs back!

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Completely doomed :(

Gonna to be a long struggle for the rest journey.

 

Do you feel overall much better except for the time after the cut?

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I dont know, really. I can sense better days and the "real" me. But these lower doses have been very edgy. And maybe the jump will be felt no matter what weight I stop from. I think so, but I am being a bit negative now.

I absolutely feel better than on the higher doses, anyway.

What dose are you on, Lex? Still 0.13?

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This makes me mad and sad! How is it possible you don't feel almost back to normal after such a slow and steady taper! This timeline is even longer than CT.

 

Yes, I'm still around 0.13, been having severe reaction lately since the updose, so dropped 0.004mg over a few days. At the same time WD is still pretty strong although Managable ( not bed ridden strength). I know I still need this dose to control the WD so can't drop much to help with the reaction. I can function better during a WD day than in a reaction day. Current plan is to drop 0.0004mg every day, which means 300 days to reach zero from where I'm now. I know it most probably will change along the way, just a theory for now,

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It's always good to gave a plan, Lex. I think you dont have to go for 300 days though. But just keep carry on. Are you able to work?

I am thinking of you, dear friend.

 

I did my last cut on Saturday, and feel better today.

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Good for you Amy. I also made my last cut and stepped off of Remeron on Friday night. Some physical side effects but as I walked home tonight I felt joy!

 

It can be done!

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Oh did you, Hibari?! Congratulations!

I didnt mean I stopped completely, but soon!

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Very soon for you Amy, very soon!

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It's always good to gave a plan, Lex. I think you dont have to go for 300 days though. But just keep carry on. Are you able to work?

I am thinking of you, dear friend.

 

I did my last cut on Saturday, and feel better today.

Hi Amy,  so good to hear you are feeling better now!

No, I cant get anything simple done anymore from both severe physical and mental melting down. It will be a fair day if I am not bed-ridden all day long, and can accomplish something tiny like wrote a check, sent couple super simple emails for work etc. 

 

I used to have windows within a day so I could catch up with stuff and work, now they symptoms are constant, the brain melting down and severe DR totally disabling literally for anything except for breathing. I am very terrified with this mental state. cant believe I got to where I am now.  

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Lex, I hear and feel your struggle. We are here for you. And you will get through this, things will change.

Sometimes, in the midst of severe struggle, I tell myself I just have to exist to get through. And that it was you can think now. Just breathe, rest and try to be kind to your self. Remember to eat and sleep as much as you can. You WILL get through, and this phase will end.

Sending lots of hugs and love.

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oops Sorry Amy i just posted a comment for Lex then realised this was your thread.

 

go well

nz11

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Amy your story is inspiring. Its amazing how positive you stay despite your withdrawal. Any advice to those just starting.

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Thankyou Isabel. Just take it slow. And believe that you are going to make it thru. Surf the waves.

And never give up the vision of being med free.

That's my best advice.

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just say hi Amy, hope you are doing well!

Lex

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Hi Lex. I am ok, still tapering. I am down to 0.006 mg now since two days. It's basically nothing, still I can feel the difference after the pill. It calms wd (a bit of restlessness, aches, brain fog). Well, it's not actually a pill anymore, it's as small as dust divided into invisible nothing in water. How can it affect me, it's so weird.

After Brassmonkey's jump (excited for him!) I really long for the zero day myself. But I am so sensitive, I will go with how it feels. I cant make plans.

Take care, Lex. ???? I will visit your thread.

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Those tiny doses are such a problem to make up, the pile of dust is so small.  Keep at it though, as long as the dust is manageable, I think it will pay off in the end.  It's been such a long trip, I can't wait for you to finally get to the end.  Listen to your body and do what's right.

 

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

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Hi Amy, I'm glad you are doing ok!

I would say stay as long as possible before jumping, we learned so much from many others including me definitely how important being slow is. There seems no too slow in ssri withdrawal.

 

Your amazing patience is paying back! You are almost there beating this monster! I would have felt so thrilled dancing around for your achievement if not for the WD suppressing all my emotions.

 

Best wishes,

Lex

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I am down to 0.006 mg since more than a week. And it's soon time to drop again, I can feel that. I feel drugged.But the next drop is to nothing really.

 

I titrate the dose of .32 mg in 5 ml water and what I take now is is 0.1 ml. It's a few drops in the syringe. I cant go lower than to remove this totally and maybe just add water to the nonexisting solution and drink. It might be something in it?

 

I am scared though since I am so sensitive and can feel this dose. I am scared of going to zero. Maybe my body will react with a shock? Or relief?!

 

Thankyou Lex, I would love to see that dance. Once all this is over we'll dance together in cyber space! :)

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I totally understand this Amy.   I think it's a big deal to go to that final drop and for me it had a lot of meaning when I finally did.  

 

You've been very tuned in to what you may need in your drops.    I've also read on other threads that that final drop into an new state is personal to each us.   

 

I support you in doing what ever you need to do to ease into 0.  

 

You will make it Amy. 

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I am scared though since I am so sensitive and can feel this dose. I am scared of going to zero. Maybe my body will react with a shock? Or relief?!

 

Amy,

 

I think you would be very odd if you weren't scared.  That is a normal human reaction.  It is impossible to say how your body will react, but the drop to zero is really no different for you than any of the other drops.  You have done such a careful taper that there is no "jumping off."  You will feel this cut the same as you have with all the others.  It will take a little while but your body will filter through and adjust to the reduction in the way it has been for quite some time.

 

You are ready, Amy.  It will be fine.

 

We are all so happy for you and proud of you.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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Scary times aren't they Amy.  The prospect of making that final reduction can get really heavy with all the "what ifs" and the like.  In the end it's not really any different than any other cut, we just make it into a really big deal in our heads.  I was lucky in that I had the distraction of out trip to mask the time leading up to the jump so there wasn't much anticipation.  Not much thinking about it, just went ahead and did it.  Not telling anyone for a few days also seemed to help.  How to make the "announcement" was quite a stresser.  It really is the end of an era, something that has dominated your thinking for so many years coming to an end.  A new chapter of your life starting, there are a lot of emotions to have to work through on top of all the "what ifs".

 

Like with every other cut or change you've made you have to trust that your body knows what it's doing.  You've done everything possible to give it the best chance it's got.

 

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

 

Tom

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Just started reading your thread but you've done everything you could have to this point and hope all continues to be all you've been waiting for!

 

 

Can I ask advice-when you first started your journey, it said after 4 months you got WD after 25/18/12. I assume this was too fast, Did you feel fine dropping so quickly which is why you proceeded and then it caught up with you? I just don't want to second guess my decisions later when I can learn from those that have conquered!

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You are in my prayer Amy for a soft, smooth, light and sturdy landing!!!!

Hugs,

Lex

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Thankyou, dear friends.I listen to all of you, and will trust the process.

I hope it will go somewhat smooth since I am taking a course at university (distance and part time). I need some part of my brain. :)

 

I appreciate your support so much. I couldn´t have done this taper for years without your (and other's) online support.

 

Love you all.

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Just started reading your thread but you've done everything you could have to this point and hope all continues to be all you've been waiting for!

 

 

Can I ask advice-when you first started your journey, it said after 4 months you got WD after 25/18/12. I assume this was too fast, Did you feel fine dropping so quickly which is why you proceeded and then it caught up with you? I just don't want to second guess my decisions later when I can learn from those that have conquered!

Hi Isabel. I couldn't tolerate zoloft from start. So after seven weeks on I started to taper. At 50 mg I felt like a zombie and I just knew I had to go down in doses. During four months I could drop the dose without much symtoms. But when I tried to go down to 12 mg it got terrible suddenly. I don't know why, but I think I was to fast in the end. I should have stayed on 18 mg for a while. Which I did when I went back to that dose.

I think I had a "window" with no symtoms because I was in the beginning.

I never ever thought it would take this long to taper to zero. It has been kind of a night mare. But tolerable, since I have been very careful. I could work full time for several years.

Take care!

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Thank you. You are a great example!

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"I hope it will go somewhat smooth since I am taking a course at university"

 

Excellent distraction, the course is much more important than any old WD symptom.  You're in charge now, concentrate on where you want to go and let the other fall by the wayside.

 

(((((((HUGS)))))))

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Thankyou, Tom. <3

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Wow, I'm excited you are taking courses from an university!

Wonderful news!

Hugs,

Lex

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