Jim24: When will I get back to my normal self after stopping risperidone

[Petunia]

Hi Jim,

You weren't on the drugs long, your nervous system will heal.  No one can say how long it will take, but you are healing a little bit more every day.  In a few years, I'm sure this will be a long gone memory and you will be back to enjoying your life again.  In the mean time, do the best you can to take care of yourself and live a healthy lifestyle, it will support the recovery process.

 

does anyone know if I should take L-Tyrosine to try and boost my dopamine would that be a good idea or not ??

 

Be careful with l-tyrosine

 

There is a company that is recommended and ships all over the world but I cannot remember what it is called.

 

iHerb.com ships worldwide, good service with reasonable prices.

[Jim24]

I took a benzo to help me relax I probably shouldnt of do you think it will ruin my recovery?

[Jim24]

I never had ringing in my ears before I took any meds and Ive been off meds for 5 months now, will the ringing in my ears go away eventually? Im not seeing any improvements no windows, nothing my world is still flat and grey my memory is still shot ect I hate how I cant injoy anything, no matter how nice it is outside im still

"dead", can anyone promise that ill get better, is there hope, I like to believe that theirs hope.      

[Jim24]

My mom and sister say they see alittle improvement in me but I dont feel like I improved but maybe they can see something that I cant anyway just thought I would share that. 

[amro1991]

I agree with you about that. A lot of people around me say that I have improved a lot over the past months. I think I have improved a lot in terms of my cognitive abilities and I am more alert than I was on meds. It might be a good sign that people notice a difference and I hope the difference will become internal as well.

[Jim24]

I still cant have fun anymore its a mental prison I used to have fun every weekend before the risperidone...........I want my brain back   

[Jim24]

Im disappointed in myself for not looking up this "med" first before taking it that was very dumb of me   

[btdt]

Me too but then I did not have a computer when I took it and who knows what was known about it then... there is always more to it then we know... or so it seems. 

I was on it only a couple of months was given it at an out patient clinic everybody in the program was on it... I ended up on effexor after a few months of just laying in bed after I quit taking it and a benzo both given at the same place when I think ... if I did not go there I could have been good by now ... it makes me crazy and is not at all helpful so I don't think it... really I just move past it to something that will not hurt  me and distract myself with something else.  That is how I deal with it maybe it will help you too. 

peace

[Jim24]

The fact that im going to be like this all summer is just heart breaking,

[Jim24]

If anyone could send me some resperidone recovery stories that would be awesome thank you.

[LoveandLight]

Sorry jim you are struggling..you will get there in time..best wishes to you.

[Pugknows]

((((Jim)))) We're both off meds around the same amount of time. Maybe our summers will be great. You never know. Hugs to you.

[lapd]

Hey Jim, I absolutely feel you with the "no emotions" stuff, I'm right there too. In my case Haldol did this to me. I hope we make it sometime in the future. I just force myself to work out and eat healthy now. 

[Jim24]

yup it especially sucks when you didnt need that crap in the first place and it totally destroys you this stuff ruines lives but maybe are brains will go back to the way it was before the meds good luck. I have to force myself to do anything now I miss the days when I wanted to do things not force myself to I loved the way I was before the meds and how god made me but anyways hope we all recover from these evil neuroleptics.   

[Jim24]

hey lapd Im going through all this and more because of Risperidone and im also in my prime im 24 I also find it hard that all fun things have been wiped away in life but be hopeful that we will recover its been 6 months for me I dont feel any improvements but my family say that I look more "alert".

[Jim24]

Im starting to think i have been permanently destroyed by risperidone i mean its been 6 months now.?  

[lapd]

Im starting to think i have been permanently destroyed by risperidone i mean its been 6 months now.?  

Hey Jim, give it a year at least, at 6 months you are supposed to feel only a tiny bit of improvement, that's when the recovery should really start. How's your libido/ability to get high, if you're into that? 

[LucaDiProspero]

Jim,I'm off Risperidone from 4 months now and no improvement...I just do things like walking, watching TV, reading comics (can't read more difficult stuff), talking to some friends but all i do is the same for me, I feel nothing really nothing inside me. So I decided to go to a lawyer, I'm ready to legally act versus janssen company...I also have a statement written by a psy doc in which he writes Risperdal left me with no emotions.

[Jim24]

Good luck with the trial let me know how it goes and no I haven't tried to get high I don't want to mess up my brain even more and the reason why im so desperate to get back to myself is because before I took these meds just last summer I was so AWESOME and injoyd every day anything could make me excited and now im just dead inside its very sad, inhumane, and unacceptable this should not of happened to me at all, that quack doc should of known that I didn't need the sh*t plus he over dosed me with 4mg a day for 3 months I know I should of looked it up before I took it but still this is messed up big time its like he was trying to ruin me damn loony I think that doc needs 4mg of risperidone a day and everything I do is 100x harder. Anyway hopefully next year im back to normal good luck everyone.     

[jjasssonn]

There is light in our futures. My brain was pummeled by haldol, profoundly damaged, but I've begun to significantly recover. The first 4-6 months I didn't recover much at all, if at all, but my recovery seems to be accelerating these last couple months (although it is slow and glacial... but at least I'm moving in a consistent upward direction now). I could only get maybe 3-5% high from weed immediately after getting injected with haldol, but now, about seven months later, I can get about 20% high. It's progress.

 

check out schizor's story:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6664-%E2%98%BC-schizor-can-the-brain-recover-from-antipsychotics/

 

 

 

Also research ibogaine. Here's some of what I've found:

 

At the Iboga House, we have had many people detox from amphetamines, methamphetamines, cocaine, crack, Adderall, Ritalin, Dexadrine and others with great results. Iboga and Ibogaine (one of the alkaloids in Iboga) is extremely beneficial because it resets the dopamine uptake pathways in the pleasure and craving centers of the mind that are thrown out of balance by the abuse of these substances. There is no other known substance that addresses these areas with such accuracy. It is the dopamine in your brain that controls pleasure. When you get off of amphetamines, people notice a lack of any pleasure and depression can set in. This ends up causing relapse in many instances. Iboga helps correct the damage that has been done.

 

 

 

Ibogaine alleviates physical withdrawal symptoms of opiate detoxification by resetting and refreshing the opiate receptor sites. How this is done is still not fully understood; no other known substance has shown this method of action. Once this process is complete, no further use of Ibogaine is necessary. It functions in a similar way to treatments that block or take residence in the receptor sites that normally harbor chemical substances. However, unlike methadone or suboxone, which lead to chemical dependency, Ibogaine is non-addictive and doesn't need to be taken on a continuing basis. Ibogaine treats other chemical dependencies by cleansing the body of the drugs, and resetting the brain's neuron-chemistry. It appears and feels as if the memory of dependency is removed from the mind and body. It addresses cravings from the metabolite Nor-ibogaine. This may take a couple of days to fully set up for stimulants and alcohol. Ibogaine also works to rebalance the brain chemistry and level out dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, adrenaline etc. to a pre-addicted state. This helps the individual to feel better much more quickly, especially compared to quitting a substance cold turkey.

 

 

 

 

Ibogaine can also successfully interrupt stimulant addictions, mainly through its ability to modulate the release of dopamine in the brain and "reset" countless other neurochemical pathways, many of which are still not yet understood. Withdrawals from cocaine and crack are usually not physical; they are generally "mental" in the sense of the addict experiencing intense anxiety, sleeplessness, and constant cravings for their drug. Because stimulant dependence is mainly connected to the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine, ibogaine interrupts these "mental" withdrawal symptoms through its action on the dopamine pathways, changing the way dopamine is released.

 

 

 

Ibogaine influences the receptors for two major neurotransmitters, serotonin and dopamine. These neurotransmitters are associated with feeling happy and confident; they are also the major point of influence in the brain for cocaine, crack, and meth. These drugs make a person feel euphoric by causing spikes in serotonin and dopamine. Over time, the receptors adjust to the artificially elevated levels and because less sensitive to these neurotransmitters. These drugs also cause the brain to produce less serotonin and dopamine. This explains why heavy drug users develop a tolerance and eventually cannot feel happy at all without taking drugs.

Several studies with animals have shown that ibogaine increases the amount of serotonin that the brain releases, and blocks the brain from reabsorbing excess serotonin. Taken together, these effects dramatically increase the amount of serotonin available in the brain. Ibogaine does not increase the amount of dopamine released, but it decreases how quickly dopamine receptors expel dopamine. This means that the dopamine receptors fire more frequently. These findings explain why ibogaine provides short-term relief from cocaine addiction. The brain of a cocaine user requires high levels of serotonin and dopamine to feel normal, and ibogaine increases those neurotransmitters. Ibogaine must also reset the neurotransmitters; otherwise, the addiction would return full-force within a few days.

 

 

 

Ibogaine has benefits for treating addiction because of the way it acts on receptor systems. It has been found to reset the dopamine uptake pathways in the brain which then can help to stop conditioned responses to a drug. It is also believed that the drug changes habitual thought patterns and restores normal levels of neurochemistry.

 

 

 

Ibogaine has proven successful for addiction because it resets the neurotransmitters in one’s brain while regulating opiate receptors. It relieves both physical and psychological symptoms of addiction and helps with both serotonin and dopamine levels in the brain. 

 

 

 

"Regarding the thread we MUST not forget reward requeres rythmic firing of several neurotransmitters activation of receptors, LDOPA while raising dopamine wont improve sa, anhedonia or depression, another example is varenicline wich causes depression despite upregulating dopamine.

Dopamine upregulation is NOT enough, it must involve CB1, mu opioid, 5HT2A, ALPHAB1 upregulation and upregulation of some muscarinic receptors. Downregulation of kappa.

That covers most important things.

The only option to truly restart reward is ibogaine wich modulates all those receptors."

 

 

 

What it does instead is help reset and refresh opiate receptor sites. Serotonin and dopamine levels in these receptor sites often become severely damaged by drugs. Without more drugs, it is nearly impossible to regain adequate levels of serotonin or dopamine. This is the reason so many people continue to use. Without drugs, they don’t feel normal and cannot find any sort of peace of mind. It is a viscous cycle and one that can seem impossible to break.

 

 

 

Ibogaine can help break this cycle and has proven so time and time again by completely resetting the chemistry of the brain to its pre-addictive state.

 

 

 

Ibogaine is completely natural and although it does contain psychoactive characteristics, in no way has anyone ever sought out ways to continue to use this substance after receiving help for addiction. Rather than artificially release dopamine to the brain, ibogaine naturally resets dopamine levels and restores balance in the mind. 

 

 

 

Ibogaine has also been demonstrated to modulate the uptake of various neurotransmitter systems, restoring a level of balance to the brain’s systems. It has also been shown to be neuroprotective of dopamine receptors, which play a role in mood disorders.

 

 

 

Ibogaine is also extremely beneficial in the treatment of Alcohol, Cocaine, Methamphetamine, and/or Nicotine addiction because it resets the dopamine uptake pathways in the pleasure and craving centers of the mind that are thrown out of balance by the abuse of these substances. There is no other known substance that addresses these areas with such magnitude and accuracy.

 

 

 

Ibogaine alleviates physical withdrawal symptoms of opiate detoxification by resetting and refreshing the opiate receptor sites. How this is done is still not fully understood; no other known substance has shown this method of action. Once this process is complete, no further use of Ibogaine is necessary. It functions in a similar way to treatments that block or take residence in the receptor sites that normally harbor chemical substances. However, unlike methadone or suboxone, which lead to chemical dependency, Ibogaine is non-addictive and doesn't need to be taken on a continuing basis. Ibogaine treats other chemical dependencies by cleansing the body of the drugs, and resetting the brain's neuron-chemistry.

 

 

 

It also helps to reset the neurotransmitters of one’s brain that have been damaged due to excessive cocaine and crack use.

 

 

 

By ‘resetting’ the neurotransmitters of the brain and body, Ibogaine restores the body’s natural homeostasis facilitating a state of natural general wellbeing.

 

 

 

Iboga totally curved my anhedonia. Now I can feel plesure from social interactions, and I can laugh and feel after a cathartic feeling. It was like codein was blocking me to evacuate tension, and Iboga cured that. I'm so thankful! Iboga decrease my procrastination too!

 

 

 

 I have seen many different reactions and results from taking the medicine.  I've seen it barely phase one person, and have profoundly positive effects on another.  You really never know until you take the plunge.  I had very positive results, and I had 12 years of poly substance abuse under my belt. After Iboga, my brain was stronger and life was more peaceful than it had been in a long time.  However, I still struggle with depression, but I have come to realize that struggle is just a part of my journey.  The short of it is: Iboga has something custom and unique to offer all people, it's just hard to say what that might be for you until you do it..

 

 

 

I don't know how much of my experience is relevant to you, but I'd thought I'd share. I took 950 mg Ibogaine 6 weeks after I had quit Suboxone. I had tapered down to .3mg milligrams of the Subs, but two weeks after the acute withdrawal had eased up, I got hit by depression, anxiety, irritability, and anhedonia, definite PAWS symptoms. I'll write more about the experience soon, but after taking Ibogaine, I've never felt better in my life, I really mean that. I took the Ibogaine two weeks ago, and I've been microdosing most of the last week. Although that pristine mental space has dissipated a little, and anxiety and stress has come back some as I've begun the difficult work I knew I would have to do afterwards, I still feel much more capable of dealing with it. I plan to continue microdosing. 

 

 

 

 Ibogaine. This is a psychedelic but a very unusual and interesting one. It has a number of effects on a number of receptors, with stunning and profound results. One of its uses is in drug addiction, where it is up to 20x more effective than traditional detox programs,. The OTHER use – which is intertwined with the anti-addictive effects – is in non-psychotic depressive disorders.

 

Its multi-pronged action simultaneously resets opiate receptor tolerance; floods the brain with dopamine, leading to re-regulation of disturbed dopaminergic effects such as anhedonia; has profound NMDA inhibitory effect (which is a whole new area of anti-depressive research right now, and also allows you to “re-process” traumatic memories); is a stimulant (cures brain fog and lethargy); is an SSRI (cures depressive behaviours); and last but not least, it upregulates production of BDNF. BDNF is a growth factor which causes neurons to “re-sprout and repair”… think a bare tree growing new leaves. Further, taking the full “flood dose” of 25mg/kg gives you a fascinating 20 hour trip in which you have unparalleled access to all your memories (thanks, NMDA inhibition) and can literally re-visit and gain insight into any part of your life. This has been called “2 years of intensive therapy in 1 day”.

 

Ibogaine can be dosed as the hallucinogenic “flood dose”, but that requires medical preparation, a minder, and is quite rough as a trip – expect nausea and ataxia. However it’s rewarding enough that many people do it once a year just for the incredible insight into one’s self that it brings.

However the way I tend to use it is the “microdose”. This is a 50mg dose per day, in a 7 days on, 3 days off pattern. The dose is not psychedelic at this point. You don’t notice it affecting you at all, but it IS there doing its work.. and by Week 2 you will definitely notice significant improvements in many aspects . If you’re interested in learning more, I wrote an entire treatise and protocol manual on this and can share it with you.

 

 

 

Studies suggest that ibogaine has considerable potential in the treatment of addiction to heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine, methadone, and alcohol. There is also indication that it may be useful in treating tobacco dependence. It has also been suggested that the drug may have considerable potential in the field of psychotherapy, particularly as a treatment for the effects of trauma or conditioning. A single administration of ibogaine typically has three effects useful in the treatment of drug dependence. Firstly, it causes a massive reduction in the symptoms of drug withdrawal, allowing relatively painless detoxification. Secondly, there is a marked lowering in the desire to use drugs for a period of time after taking ibogaine, typically between one week and several months. This has been confirmed by scientific studies. Finally, the drug’s psychoactive nature is reported to help many users understand and resolve the issues behind their addictive behaviour.

 

*Arguably because their brains have been restored to a significant extent following the damage done by drugs like meth.

 

 

 

 

 

Ibogaine is a natural alkaloid of Voacanga africana that is effective in the treatment of withdrawal symptoms and craving in drug addicts. As the synaptic and cellular basis ofibogaine's actions are not well understood, this study tested the hypothesis that ibogaine and Voacanga africana extract modulate neuronal excitability and synaptic transmission in the parabrachial nucleus using the nystatin perforated patch-recording technique. Ibogaine and Voacanga africana extract dose dependently, reversibly, and consistently attenuate evoked excitatory synaptic currents recorded in parabrachial neurons. The ED50 of ibogaine's effect is 5 microM, while that of Voacanga africana extract is 170 micrograms/ml. At higher concentrations, ibogaine and Voacanga africana extract induce inward currents or depolarization that are accompanied by increases in evoked and spontaneous firing rate. The depolarization or inward current is also accompanied by an increase in input resistance and reverses polarity around 0 mV. The depolarization and synaptic depression were blocked by the dopamine receptor antagonist haloperidol. These results indicate that ibogaine and Voacanga africana extract 1) depolarize parabrachial neurons with increased excitability and firing rate; 2) depress non-NMDA receptor-mediated fast synaptic transmission; 3) involve dopamine receptor activation in their actions. These results further reveal that the Voacanga africana extract has one-hundredth the activity of ibogaine in depressing synaptic responses. Thus, ibogaine and Voacanga africana extract may produce their central effects by altering dopaminergic and glutamatergic processes.

 

 

 

 

Popik et al. (1994) determined Ibogaine to be a competitive inhibitor of MK-801 binding to the NMDA receptor complex. MK-801 has been shown to attenuate tolerance to opiates (Trujillo & Akil 1991) and alcohol (Khanna et al. 1993). MK-801 has also shown a blockade of "reverse tolerance" of stimulants (Karler et al. 1989). Ibogaine's effects on dopamine, a substance hypothesized to be responsible for reinforcing pleasurable effects of drugs of abuse, and the dopamine system were found by Maisonneuve et al. (1991), Broderick et al. (1992) and Sershen et al. (1992). Ibogaine binding to the kappa opiate receptor was reported by Deecher et al. (1992). Thus we begin to see a broad spectrum of mechanisms by which Ibogaine may moderate use of substances so diverse as opiate narcotics, stimulants and alcohol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– There is an inherent level of risk with ibogaine treatment. Twelve people are known to have died in connection with taking ibogaine or other iboga alkaloids. In actuality, the figure is likely higher, given that ibogaine is frequently administered in surroundings where people may be reluctant to contact the authorities in the event of something going wrong. Statistically, a ballpark figure for deaths during treatment is probably of the order of 1 in 300. (This is based on 12 recorded deaths having occurred within 3611 recorded treatments, outside of Africa, as of March 2007). The following factors have been identified as having caused death:

• having a pre-existing heart condition, sometimes one not detectable by EKG
• using opiates when on ibogaine, or shortly afterwards
• using the rootbark or iboga extract. Ibogaine HCl is statistically much safer
• taking ibogaine outside of a clinical facility. Persons taking ibogaine need constant supervision and, ideally, online heart monitoring

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The above might be bunk, but maybe it's not. I'm thinking about trying it, but I'm less inclined than I was a few months ago because I seem to be improving more and more.

[Jim24]

http://www.quora.com/How-come-irreversible-antagonism-of-neural-receptors-is-an-acceptable-outcome-for-treating-anything

 

Does this mean I will never completely recover from this im worried and kinda scared. 

[Muddles]

I think you will definitely recover. You were not on them for long.

 

I recognise all of your symptoms as I am suffering myself, only from Mirtazapine. I'm sure mirtazapine is like the evil antipsychotics as my symptoms are so similar to those who have took them.

 

Take one day at a time and soon you will see improvements.

[mammaP]

You are healing Jim and will be yourself again. Maybe not the same exactly just because time passes and we all grow and change with each passing day. You will be wiser, and will learn how to deal with things without drugs, making you a stronger person. You re doing great and improving, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

[Jim24]

are there any supplements that will increase my dopeamine levels I think thats what antipsychotics damage the most.

[Jim24]

does anyone know if this site is real?? http://www.serotune.com/

[Jim24]

I have to do something to try and get my emotions and personality back this is horrible and I don't want to be like this anymore I was never ever like this in my life I have to do something to make me feel how I used to be serotune amino acid is a supplement that has 5-HTP 100 mg L-Theanine 100 mg L-Tyrosine  300 mg Magnesium (As Magnesium Citrate) 50 mg I dont know if it will work and I dont know if the site is safe to get it from but I have to do something this is not acceptable to be like this I just want to be me its been 7 months and im fed up and sick of this sh*t all I want is my emotions and personality back every second of every day is torture this has to end somewhere or somehow.

[jjasssonn]

I have to do something to try and get my emotions and personality back this is horrible and I don't want to be like this anymore I was never ever like this in my life I have to do something to make me feel how I used to be serotune amino acid is a supplement that has 5-HTP 100 mg L-Theanine 100 mg L-Tyrosine  300 mg Magnesium (As Magnesium Citrate) 50 mg I dont know if it will work and I dont know if the site is safe to get it from but I have to do something this is not acceptable to be like this I just want to be me its been 7 months and im fed up and sick of this sh*t all I want is my emotions and personality back every second of every day is torture this has to end somewhere or somehow.

 

surely you've improved a little, right?

[Fresh]

Hi  Jim ,  I just looked at the Serotune site.

 

Each capsule contains:  5HTP 100mg  ( many people find this activating and it's not recommended by this site)

                                       Magnesium Citrate 50mg  (you can buy this separately)

                                       L-Tyrosine 300mg

 

I know how frustrating this process is , and I can feel your impatience to get on with your life.   You're still recovering , and

there's only so much we can do to facilitate that.

Your emotions and personality will come back into your life as you heal.   Mine are , and I'm old and have been on these

meds. for 25 years.

 

How do you spend your days?    

Try to focus on things you CAN do to help the healing - some physical exercise , good nutrition , some structured activities

each week , tasks around your home , relaxation or meditation.

 

You're going to get past this ,  you need to remind yourself of that often.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

[Jim24]

I do try to eat healthy most days and I go for walks and as far as recovery goes no I haven't I might have alittle more energy then I did 6 months ago but its hard to tell, Risperidone really messed me up and scrambled my brains and I can get serotune on amizon so ill see how that goes and ill be starting work really soon as a deck hand on my dads fishing boat I always used to handle it with a smile on my face and joke around the whole time but this year i dunno its going to be harder kinda stressed out about it but all I can do is my best and hopefully by the end of the season I can enjoy myself again.

[Jim24]

I just ordered serotune from there website it was expensive I got 3 bottles ill post when/if I get it and how it works im willing to try anything at this point and it should be safe to use right?? 

[InvisibleUnless]

i took antipsychotics for 7 years---risperdal being about half of that time on them.  its taking me a long time to complete withdrawal (three years and still not done), but, the main point is: i have improved, dramatically!  since quitting, all of the problems risperdal was causing have seen some level of improvement.  hearing problems, thinking problems, memory problems, libido problems, sleep and dreaming problems, energy level problems, depression and anhedonic and rage problems, etc.  im confident you will see some improvement after some time, though i cant really speculate as to how long that will take.  i am not fully better, and i still cycle through worsening symptoms taking me back to how i was when i was on the meds still, but things have clearly and decidedly changed in the past while ive spent free from all the medications.

 

one of my main concerns was memory, as it might be for you.  losing my concept of self, and personal history, and ability to remember a conversation from sentence to sentence is pretty much necessary for someone to continue on in life as a human being.  im sorry you were so misled and mistreated with all of this.

 

i cant speak to a lot of the substances youve mentioned, but i have found the following things to help me personally.  please be warned that some people have very strong reactions to these, and they can put your situation in further peril, or at the very least, not help:

 

-exercise! things that require coordination between your right and left hemispheres, things that help restore your sense of balance and bodily orientation.  i used to be a pretty active and athletic guy, but my brain was pretty fried by everything, and even if my muscles didnt atrophy on the meds, the physical abilities i had required a mental acuity that was greatly dissolved by the meds.  i am recovering presently, but exercise can also be very agitating of my conditions, so i try to be reasonable---i cant be as intense as i used to be, for now, but semi-daily walks, at the very least, can go a long way.  spend time with basic movement, and also get out to natural places where the sights and scents can energize your system and remind you of how good things used to be, and will be again.

 

you do seem pretty hung up on how drastically stuff has changed...and i can definitely relate to that.  it can be crushing to think of what was lost, or how things have changed and might never be the same.  and now that im in my later 20s, i feel like 7 years---often the best years of someones life---were more or less lost to the void.  maybe i missed out on things that are essentially impossible for people as they get older now.  i dont know.  but im determined to at least put my current time to good use, insofar as i am able.  i bet recovery will make stuff feel less depressing, little by little.

 

-krill/fish oil.  omega-3 fatty acids are a huge component towards healthy brain functioning.  these supplements (or eating good, wild-caught seafoods) can help a lot with the dopamine insensitivity and thought issues, especially creativity.  however, withdrawal can hypersensitize you to such things, and so i advise a lot of caution.  i took them on a daily basis for a while, but at this stage in my recovery, i only take a few pills a week usually---it can cause serotonin syndrome (which is potentially fatal) when your brain is rewiring itself to this extent.

 

-weed.  most people here say to avoid liquor and drugs, and im not here to disagree.  i bet its the best move for them and many others, and im also definitely not here to suggest that you partake of any of these substances, even if you have in the past.  im just trying to state diplomatically and simply that a very small amount of marijuana has helped with some of my withdrawal symptoms---both through the medicative aspects, like relieving some of the painful muscle dystonia, and also because weed is a natural antipsychotic and might ease the neurological tension a bit, since i either tapered too quickly off the meds or just didnt do so well with the process even if i tapered properly.  i preferred THC-heavy weed before i quit the meds, but in withdrawal, i am MUCH more drawn to CBD-heavy strains.  THC is the more activating and potentially dangerous compound for people oversensitive to things.  CBD isnt necessarily safe, but for me personally, i have found it less potentially dangerous, and also containing more of the curative elements i am presently seeking.  i smoke nowhere near what i ever used to, and, frankly, the amounts i take when i do take any are so insignificant that they would not have even produced a buzz in previous times.  im talking very, very minute quantities---one or two very partial breaths that are not held like they traditionally would be.  also, using it in a social setting where i can be engaged with other people and distracted from the worries and paranoias involved in my withdrawal is a safer and much more preferable way to seek the helpful properties.

 

i dont really recommend you experiment with this unless you have exhausted safer options, have a controlled setting and dose, and feel like its something that you could handle.  before i knew i was in withdrawal, i experienced a few trips that were...utterly incapacitating.  please exercise wisdom, restraint, and caution in considering such things.

 

-appropriate dietary choices.  my cravings have been quite varied and spontaneous after quitting meds, and ive found that my body is pretty attuned to what substances it needs in order to best repair itself and relieve itself.  ive been trying to eat much more healthily in general, but things like dairy (with high fat content) and green vegetables have been instrumental in cleansing and treating.  ive found that even food can be risky and cause very agitated states, so, as with the rest of these, i advise caution and research.

 

as general comments, i can say that amazon can be a good source for vitamin/supplement delivery, though some sellers are better than others.  i dont think its safe to tell someone anything is 'safe to use' for someone else---we all react in our own ways, and sometimes the way we react changes over time.  all we can do is supply our thoughts on the potential risks and benefits.  finally, i exhort you to not try to rush your recovery.  you can cause undue stress by having severe expectations or frustrations at not meeting deadlines.  i know what its like to feel like youre missing out on stuff, but the more positively you frame your recovery process, the more your mind and body get on board with it, i think.

[Jim24]

Thank you for the post and the info InvisibleUnless it's good to know im not alone in this. I went to the mall today and I was like spacey, and lethargic and couldn't think what I needed I must of looked like someone who has been labotamized its hard to explain but maybe you get it its like a retardation feeling in public sometimes and its horrible I never ever felt like this before the meds I was always full of energy with a sharp quick mind maybe you can relate? After the meds I feel like it gave me some kind of retardation or something nothing is the same I cant go out or do anything like I used to absolutely nothing and it sucks it really really sucks hope everything clears up for me it sucks feeling like a slow labotamized guy with a retardation I cant evin think of things to say in a real conversation this state of mind sucks so much.     

[InvisibleUnless]

i can relate 100%, man.  i was always smart and fast---not just "above average" but top percentiles---and antipsychotics turned me to mush.  my ability to read, grasp concepts, and even finish sentences i began myself diminished to the point of being unable to complete tasks or enjoy anything i once did.  and everything was so tiring for my brain that i spent a lot of time just staring into space, especially if there were light patterns (sunlight on a walkway, windows, etc).  engaging with people, especially in a physically active situation, was absolutely exhausting, and oftentimes impossible.  so, definitely both a mental and physical retardation in the quite literal senses.

 

the first 24 or so hours after entirely quitting the meds (it took months to fully taper off), i was in some severe withdrawal of the short term sense, but my brain was quite active for a short period.  i read for like 8 hours a day and had new thoughts and felt very happy.  it lasted for a day or two, but then the protracted withdrawal symptoms took hold and its been more of an uphill battle to do anything i used to do.  but ive seen much improvement...im writing these posts at all, which, while not always something im capable of, is definitely a good sign.

 

over the past few years, i have begun reading many days a week, even if its just briefly, and having intellectual conversations again.  i can make sense of things i wrote down before the meds took it all away, and learn, and synthesize.  memory, too, is still often an issue, but i keep a lot of checklists and stuff like i had to in my medication days so i could remember daily tasks and things to get at stores and how to do things that require more than one step.  my memory used to be rather above average as well, and i was worried the meds had permanently stripped me of it.  reducing the doses and switching off different kinds of antipsychotics didnt give me back my memories, and being tested for short term memory and cognition by psychiatrists after i quit did not show a meaningful amount of progress.  but, after a year or two, i began having memories resurface.  its a rather messy process, and involves a lot of confusing and intrusive thoughts, but i have more of my past back than any time in the past 8 or so years, and it feels amazing.

 

im sorry if my posts are so long that they are hard to read...theyre harder for me to read than write, cuz i take em piecemeal.  but throw out any other concerns youve got, or symptoms you wonder about, if you want some feedback or to know you arent alone.  risperdal was the singlemost f*cked up drug i was on of the whole 17 i took, both in terms of side effects and in terms of withdrawal effects.  people just dont understand, especially people with no psych or psych med history.  ill close with reiterating that i think you will recover much or all of your former functioning...its just a frustratingly slow process.  i know the embarrassment and struggle and, really, the incredulity of it all.  its good to come here and find ways to talk about it.

[Jim24]

InvisibleUnless yup I agree with all that and another thing thats hard to bare and sucks is I lost my emotions and personality I never even thought that was possible and I should of looked up the drug before ever taking it but its to late now and the ******* put me on 4mg a day for 3 months I should of known not to take the crap I should of stopped it when I was falling asleep at random times and sleeping for like 12 hours straight and pissing myself in my sleep because of the drug when I realized I couldn't cum that was enough for me damn freaky but it was to late by then the damage was done and now im suffering and now I also cant get stimulated by anything like music movies cant feel cigarettes nothing can stimulate me which means no more fun plus the brain damage stuff friggen aweful but the damage has been done and hopefully by next year ill be recovered.  

[InvisibleUnless]

its a slow burn sometimes...you lose more and more, and they reassure you that its ok or that you should stay on the meds because its worth it.  then, finally, you realize there ISNT anything left to lose, and you still havent gained much at all (if anything at all!)

 

4mg is a pretty high dose, too.  lots of inpatients are put on like 8mg or more, but 4mg was as high as i went myself, i think, and spent more time on 2mg and 3mg.  any dosage was pretty terrible, and i, too, was sleeping 12 hours a night (bare minimum) and having so much trouble with urinary retention that i feared to sleep at all.  i was so neurologically traumatized that eventually i because chemically castrated nearly.  first went the pleasure, then orgasm, then responsiveness, then all thoughts of sexuality or meaningful romance.

 

after like 3-4 years of treatment, i basically just dropped out of life.  i lost the love i had for everything i used to do, and also the energy to even pursue it.  stopped the art, stopped going out much, even stopped watching tv and movies, because i couldnt be f*ckin bothered to care.  i was sleeping up to 36 hours at a time, which means sometimes i spent an entire 24 hour day in bed...i could go to bed on a monday and not get out until a wednesday.  i spent another 3 or so years in such a state, unable to have a job or do more college or work towards having a girlfriend again.  and it was pretty terrifying...because after you lose that much, you have nothing to cling to, nothing to say "well, at least i have this still".

 

and that, i feel, is the most important part of hearing from other people that it can improve, and does improve for most people.  they sap away your hope and imagination and anything positive, and you need the rock solid evidence that things can get better.  i researched the drugs as i was put on them, and i knew they all had some potentially terrible side effects, but i was already dealing with psych symptom **** and had tried everything else i could to get better...it was my last step before throwing in the towel, really, and i thought id be ok as long as i reported the more serious symptoms and switched off meds if things got so bad i couldnt even live with myself---like a 3-day straight panic attack i had on geodon, another antipsychotic.  no one ever mentioned protracted withdrawal, and my withdrawing has been worse than anything i dealt with on the meds (though not by too awfully much, aside from the psychosis that has developed from it).

 

its the worst, in many cases, for people like you that were forced to take these medications for conditions you didnt even have to begin with.  i was on all sorts of stuff 'off-label', like the antipsychotics for depression or anticonvulsant for anxiety/depression and the weight i gained from all the antipsychotics (50-80 pounds), but they are sure to fry your brain even more if you had not even a tangential psych-type symptom, and you have more to lose in that sense, as well.

 

things have improved, though, since ive quit it all.  i lost all the weight (except for visceral fat---my internal organs probably still need some work, but exercise can be really dangerous).  my thinking is better than it was, though still making a recovery.  it tends to come and go, which is very frustrating, but it gives me glimpses.  my memory has improved, both short and long term.  i can remember what happened earlier in a day or week sometimes, and can carry on coherent conversations many days.  people have noticed a profound change in me.

 

it sounds, from what you said earlier, like you tapered off pretty quickly from such a serious medication.  that might make your recovery have more difficulty in picking up speed (like trying to run from a complete standstill instead of a slow walk---very different physics).  i tapered off for months, under supervision, and despised having to do so at such a slow rate, but i was warned about the potential for problems (just not long term, so far as i can recall).  the guy wasnt totally ignorant, but he was pretty dismissive of the serious symptoms i often reported, and would try to deflect them off onto anything else he could---like saying the memory issues were due to weed, even though staying away from weed never fixed them and staying away from the risperdal did.  but in looking back, this week, i thought of how maybe smoking could have aggravated stuff, at least---with the huge sh*tfest the meds were causing, with my dopamine and serotonin and such, the weed might have done harm as well as good.  it was always a better antidepressant than anything i got from the psychiatrists, and anxiolytic as well.

 

i dont know how realistic a 1 year plan would be, but i feel confident that you will see some measure of improvement within 12 months.  some things, i bet, will get worse as well as better.  watch out for sketchy stuff like akathisia cropping up, for instance.  we are in it for the long haul, but its beatable.

[Mort81]

Jim I can totally relate buddy , I am 7 months off of AD and only now am I getting small windows, most of on here probably had no idea what was going to come after we stopped our meds. Thats been the tough part , its like being sucker punched in the face, and to make it worse doctors don't have knowledge about withdrawal. The brain does heal , it quite amazing . I had several brain injury's from sports as a teenager and than a near fatal drug overdose that absolutely destroyed my cognitive abilities. My brain healed ! I went to school, graduated with honors, hit the gym all the time , played sports . I thought I was toast! Than I got prescrived Lexapro for anxiety .. and after 7 yrs being on the med and now 7 months off , I feel beaten up again . But I know the brain heals , Ive been there before in just as bad as a spot. The one thing we dont know , is how long does it take. but I do know that we get better !  Its like your holding a lottery ticket with the winning numbers but you cant cash your ticket yet. When you heal you will live life like never before  ,appreciate everything . I cant wait until we all get there:)