Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted January 12, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 12, 2017 I'm doing so much better again and seem to be coming out of my wave. It gets easier each time and the pattern is such that I know what to expect now. It is not always predictable in duration or intensity but it is in terms of what to expect symptom wise as there is a certain synchronicity to that as well. It's always a feeling of Oh Oh - here we go again ! Hang on .... Wonderful update, Ali! You're one of my cold turkey heroes, so you're shining a light for the way out for the rest of us. Thank you! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Santino Posted January 13, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 13, 2017 Alig great update... I am also starting to balance myself in my bad days. Today it is good so most probably i will continue with another drop this Sunday. Trying to stay away from the forum for a while... otherwise the ruminating over the Mirtazapine will take over and then i might find myself back. I wish you a very happy weekend ahead... you so much deserve that. All the best Santino 2015 - 2016 Xanax only rescue doses of 0.125 mg 1-2 times per month March 2016 0.125Mg * 2 Xanax for 10 days. 20 March 2016 0.25 Mg * 2 Xanax for one week. 1 April 2016 Tranxene 5 mg and Fevarin but bad reaction for 5 days.4 April 2016 25 Mg Amitryptiline + 6 MG bromazepam at night Started tapering Bromazepam 6 days later reached up to 3 MG in 10 days and withdrawal. Pdoc asked to go 6 MG again. 10 of May started Remeron 15 MG and started tapering Bromazepam again. SINCE 09/06/2016 BENZO FREE - Started Tapering Remeron 04/07/2016 04/Jul/16 12.8 Mg, 11/Aug/16 12 Mg, 20/Aug/16 11Mg, 3/Sept/16 10Mg, 11/Sept/16 9 Mg, 30/Sept/16 8.1 Mg, 14/Oct/16 7.25 Mg, 17/Nov/16 6.7, 23/Nov/16 6.5, 2/Dec/16 6.25, 9/Dec/16 6Mg, 25/Dec/16 5.7Mg, 4/Jan/17 5.4Mg, 20/Jan/17 5.2Mg, 07/Feb/17 5 Mg, 15/Feb/17 4.8Mg, 27/Feb/17 4.5Mg, 15/Mar/17 4.2Mg, 23/Mar/17 4Mg, 1/Apr/17 3.7Mg, 14/Apr/17 3.4Mg, 27/Apr/17 3.1Mg, 06/May/17 2.8Mg, 22/May/17 2.6Mg, 31/May/17 2.3Mg 09/Jun/17 2Mg, 20/Jun/17 1.7Mg, 29/Jun/17 1.4Mg, 11/Jul/17 1.2Mg, 20/Jul/17 1Mg, 31/Jul/17 0.8Mg, 11/Aug/17 0.6Mg, 23/Aug/17 0.5Mg, 05/Sept/17 0.4Mg, 13/Sept/17 0.3Mg. 22/Sept/17 0.2Mg, 03/Oct/17 0.15Mg, 10/Oct/17 0.1Mg, 23/Oct/17 0.05Mg, 22/Nov/17 0.025Mg, 06/DECEMBER/2017 MIRT FREEE. Link to comment
AliG Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 I'm sorry I haven't replied individually but I appreciate you all so much . Frogie, Flowers ,Skyblue, LexAnger, ManyMoreTodays, Shep Santino. Bruin , Amy , Andy , Lilly , survivor, triplem., Nz11, Grandma , Catnapt. THANK YOU. Santino - we each have to find our way. For me it helps to stay in touch and focused but each to their own. Wishing you well. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
nz11 Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 It's always a feeling of Oh Oh - here we go again ! Hang on .... This sums it up very accurately. Sure can relate. Glad you are doing heaps better. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Dan998 Posted January 13, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 13, 2017 One day we shall all be able to step through that last window. We shall enjoy that mythical peace and calmness that has eluded us for such an interminably long time. It will be such wonderful gift to be able to experience life with a fully functional brain once again. 2001: 20mg paroxetine2003-2014: Switched between 20mg citalopram and 10mg escitalopram with several failed CT's2015: Jan/ Feb-very fast taper off citalopram; Mar/ Apr-crashed; 23 Apr-reinstated 5mg; 05 May-updosed to 10mg; 15 Jul-started taper; Aug-9.0mg; Sep-8.1mg; Oct-7.6mg; Nov-6.8mg; Dec-6.2mg2016: Jan-5.7mg; Feb-5.2mg; Mar-5.0mg; Apr-4.5mg; May-4.05mg; Jun-3.65mg; Jul-3.3mg; Aug-2.95mg; 04Sep-2.65mg; 25Sep-2.4mg; 23Oct-2.15mg; 13Nov-1.95mg; 04Dec-1.75mg; 25Dec-1.55mg.2017: 08Jan-1.4mg; 22Jan-1.25mg; 12Feb-1.1mg; 26Feb-1.0mg; 05Mar-0.9mg; 15Mar-0.8mg; 22Mar-0.7mg; 02Apr-0.6; 09Apr-0.5mg; 16Apr-0.4mg; 23Apr-0.3; 03May-0.2mg; 10May-0.1mg Finished taper 17 May 2017. Read my success story I am not a medical professional. The information I provide is not medical advice. If in doubt please consult with a qualified healthcare provider. Link to comment
AliG Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 It's a roller coaster NZ. What can I say ? Apart from - Hang on . It's a wild ride. Thank you. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AliG Posted January 13, 2017 Author Share Posted January 13, 2017 Dan. Thank you so much. One day we shall all be able to step through that last window. We shall enjoy that mythical peace and calmness that has eluded us for such an interminably long time. It will be such wonderful gift to be able to experience life with a fully functional brain once again. I love that. Thank you. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AmyK Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I hope you are ok, Ali. Many hugs! Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
AliG Posted February 20, 2017 Author Share Posted February 20, 2017 Amy . You're sweet. Thank you. I appreciate it. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AliG Posted February 20, 2017 Author Share Posted February 20, 2017 Just when I think I'm over my symptoms I get hit with another wave. It does get better but it's slow and takes so much exquisite patience. Every day seems like a battle - tiring and exhausting . I think it was Alto who said we become like Zen warriors. I believe that is true. If we get through this everything else in life will feel like a walk in the park. Still on "Struggle Street". It is getting better. It just takes time. Everyday - practicing acceptance. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Ali, in which case you and the other Mod's are our "Zen Masters" :0) Hugs, JC xxx Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
LexAnger Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 So sorry dear AliG! Very heartbreaking more we know and longer we travel, I'm with you, time to read succee stories . It will change for better. Hugs, Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted February 20, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 20, 2017 Oh dear, Ali, so sorry you're back on Struggle Street, as you say. Tread water softly for now until the wave ends. We'll be with you all the way. Link to comment
Survivor1 Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 AliG, sending healing vibes and positive energy your way. I hope Struggle Street leads to Awesome Avenue ... PAST Gabapentin: about 6 months in 2015, 300-900 mg, cold turkeyed Sept 2015 (at same time dc'd Klonopin) Klonopin: June 2014- Sept 2015; 1mg tapered over 6 mths, dc'd at 0.25mg, withdrawal hellish (perhaps because of concurrent dc of gabapentin) Mirtazepine: Jumped off at 2.4 mg. (stable in 8 months). Seroquel: June 14 - July 24, 2016, 25 mg alternate nights; smaller doses for shorter periods. Total use about 3 months Lamictal: March 19, 2018 - 1 mg; March 23 - 1.25 mg; April 6 - 2mg. Discontinued at 2 mgJuly 1, 2018 due to Steven Johnson Syndrome. CURRENT Supplements: Vit D, turmeric Naturethroid: 65 mcg for hypothyroidism Trazodone: Oct 2015 - June 2016; 75 mg tapered over 2 mths, intense w/d after 3 weeks. Reinstatement: 07/25/16 - 25 mg; updosed 08/03/16 - 50 mg; 10/01/16- 62mg; 03/24/17 dropped to 50 mg (stable in 2.5 months) Current psych meds: Trazodone 50 mg Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted February 20, 2017 Mentor Share Posted February 20, 2017 (((((hugs))))) PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content PRESENT DAYS: Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted February 21, 2017 Moderator Share Posted February 21, 2017 AliG Hope you feel better soon. ((((HUGS)))) Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted February 21, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 21, 2017 Ali, many hugs to you. As Shep said, we are with you all the way. <3 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Hopefull Posted February 23, 2017 Share Posted February 23, 2017 Hi AliG, Thank you for your kind words and for checking up on me. Sorry to hear that you are still struggling with WDS. But at some point the WDS will dissappear for good. All we can do is stay hopeful and be positive, that we will return to our original selves. DRUG HISTORY: November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction). January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey). January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering. October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg. September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed. September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised. February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted March 3, 2017 Mentor Share Posted March 3, 2017 thinking of you and hoping things are getting easier PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content PRESENT DAYS: Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
AliG Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 Thanks Catnapt. I appreciate that and thank you folks for the support. Much love. Your support means so much to me. JC, Lexanger,Shep,Survivor,Frogie,Skyblue,Hopeful. I am still in a wave and hanging in there. I have had many improvements so I know it will just take more time. On the plus side - sleep is great now after so many years of insomnia. 5- 8 hrs most nights, drug free. No real physical symptoms now : dizziness is gone as well as the akathisia. Occasionally, I still get that weird ( want to jump out of your skin) feeling but it passes fairly quickly especially if you just MOVE. Go for a walk or run. Rebounding is great also. Sometimes, I have the RLS but that's nothing really. I can live with that. Also - burning feet - solved by a tub of iced water. The main remaining symptoms are fatigue, mood swings/ neuro- emotions/ short term depression and anhedonia but I have noticed they are less intense. I started on the drugs for Post natal depression but there were other factors at play also. Coming from an abusive past I was prone to some depressive moods. It could be some ongoing Tardive Dysphoria but I believe that like the other symptoms it will dissipate in time also. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mad-in-america/201106/now-antidepressant-induced-chronic-depression-has-name-tardive-dysphoria " What lies behind you and what lies in front of you , pales in comparison to what lies inside of you ". Ralph Waldo Emerson Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
direstraits Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Hi,Ali..just want you to know I'm thinking of you, and know how hard this journey STILL is...unbelievable,isn't it? We'll get through it together, we refuse to let these f@#$ers win! love ya,ds xoxo hey,just read your post and I'm having a lot of the same sx's as you...RLS back again,burning feet etc. we'll make it...we're survivors! (((((((Ali))))))))))) went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
AliG Posted March 3, 2017 Author Share Posted March 3, 2017 Thanks DS. Yes after all this time you would think it could / would possibly get easier and yet it persists. My patience is wearing thin and I feel " battle weary ". I have so much anger about the drugs and what they do to people's lives. I have seen improvement - but it's so slow and tedious. Sorry for being and feeling down.I know it's only temporary. Hopefully , I'll be through this bad patch soon and back to business. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
direstraits Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 don't be sorry,you have nothing to be sorry for...we feel what we feel...good and bad. I agree with everything you wrote...could have written it myself. I gave up my whole life caring for a daughter that was basically a vegetable just to get some kind of validation from my narcissist mother..waste of time. we have to learn that we come first ,and love ourselves enough to do what's best for our lives..so we can then be there for others. we still have a lot of life ahead and it can be a lot better,once we get through this hell and we WILL! lots of love,ds went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Hibari Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 Ali, you are a champion, a tired one but still a champion. I was reading some posts on Beyond Meds, and so many people have made it to health and recovery. You will too. You have come very far and have every right to be tired and angry. Some of the stories I have read have to do with the pain of the past and what the wd journey has been about. I too have had to reflect and grieve what has happened to me in the past and it's so important to grieve without judgement. You are one of the nicest people I have met on this site and that is a huge part of who you are in the world. Your ability to encourage others is a gift and maybe one that you would not have known unless you had gone through this. I know that might not be comforting right now but you are seen and cherished here. 9/2013-4/2014: After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro, Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs 1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs 7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021 Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize 10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6 6/16 3.4 6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7 7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0 9/5 1.8 9/16 1.6 9/30 1.4 10/13 1.2 10/26 1.0 11/9 0.8 11/22 0.6 12/6 0.4 12/23 0.2. 2024 1/4/24 Remeron/Mirtazapine free Additional Support: Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs, L-theanine Link to comment
Survivor1 Posted March 3, 2017 Share Posted March 3, 2017 AliG, I feel like a dolt complaining about my stuff when you are going through some tough times. I thank you for being so supportive of me and know that I wish that you continue to improve. You really inspire me with your patience and fortitude. All the best. PAST Gabapentin: about 6 months in 2015, 300-900 mg, cold turkeyed Sept 2015 (at same time dc'd Klonopin) Klonopin: June 2014- Sept 2015; 1mg tapered over 6 mths, dc'd at 0.25mg, withdrawal hellish (perhaps because of concurrent dc of gabapentin) Mirtazepine: Jumped off at 2.4 mg. (stable in 8 months). Seroquel: June 14 - July 24, 2016, 25 mg alternate nights; smaller doses for shorter periods. Total use about 3 months Lamictal: March 19, 2018 - 1 mg; March 23 - 1.25 mg; April 6 - 2mg. Discontinued at 2 mgJuly 1, 2018 due to Steven Johnson Syndrome. CURRENT Supplements: Vit D, turmeric Naturethroid: 65 mcg for hypothyroidism Trazodone: Oct 2015 - June 2016; 75 mg tapered over 2 mths, intense w/d after 3 weeks. Reinstatement: 07/25/16 - 25 mg; updosed 08/03/16 - 50 mg; 10/01/16- 62mg; 03/24/17 dropped to 50 mg (stable in 2.5 months) Current psych meds: Trazodone 50 mg Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted March 11, 2017 Mentor Share Posted March 11, 2017 just dropping by to say hi and see how you are going hope all is well PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content PRESENT DAYS: Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
mFrustrated Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 Yes, AliG we would love to hear how you're doing! ???? Been following you as your story encourages me. Are your waves as intense ad they were to begin with? I'm 12 months in and when I struggle with intrusive thoughts and neuro-emotions of "I'll never get better and I'm stuck like this" it seems just as intense as it was in the beginning. I do see windows, just wish I saw them a lot more. Thanks for sticking around and keeping us all posted. mFrustrated Celexa- 2 days (February 2016) Paxil- 5 days (February 2016) Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016) BuSpar-2 days (June 2016) Link to comment
AliG Posted March 12, 2017 Author Share Posted March 12, 2017 Thanks guys. I'm going through quite a bad wave at the moment. I feel like I'm on " high alert " and cortisol seems to be running high once again. I thought I was over the cortisol issues. I dislike going out at the moment particularly to noisy ,crowded public places . Anhedonia is also a continuing symptom right now as well as a low mood. I'm sorry this isn't a more encouraging update. Hopefully , it will improve once again as it has in the past. I have experienced a lot of healing so far but I seem to have taken a few steps backward lately. I guess that's the way of recovery and I'm more than familiar with the pattern. I'm sure it's just another wave although this one feels more intense than others I've been through.The random constantly changing symptoms makes this all so unpredictable and disconcerting. As always patience is key. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
mFrustrated Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 I'm so sorry Ali. It's probably not much coming from me considering I had a bad reaction to the meds and was on them for a short time, but I truly believe you're going to heal. You are a strong person and you CAN do this. I think maybe it's just a rough spot for you, a wave, and it will pass. Thank you for being so open in your posts and not sugar coating things. Don't completely withdraw yourself, I know that's easier said than done, but find something to find joy in to keep you going in these rough patches. 20 years was a long time, but I've read success stories and I know you're going to be one! Hang in there! Hugs! M mFrustrated Celexa- 2 days (February 2016) Paxil- 5 days (February 2016) Zoloft- 11 days (February 2016) BuSpar-2 days (June 2016) Link to comment
Survivor1 Posted March 12, 2017 Share Posted March 12, 2017 (((Hugs))) PAST Gabapentin: about 6 months in 2015, 300-900 mg, cold turkeyed Sept 2015 (at same time dc'd Klonopin) Klonopin: June 2014- Sept 2015; 1mg tapered over 6 mths, dc'd at 0.25mg, withdrawal hellish (perhaps because of concurrent dc of gabapentin) Mirtazepine: Jumped off at 2.4 mg. (stable in 8 months). Seroquel: June 14 - July 24, 2016, 25 mg alternate nights; smaller doses for shorter periods. Total use about 3 months Lamictal: March 19, 2018 - 1 mg; March 23 - 1.25 mg; April 6 - 2mg. Discontinued at 2 mgJuly 1, 2018 due to Steven Johnson Syndrome. CURRENT Supplements: Vit D, turmeric Naturethroid: 65 mcg for hypothyroidism Trazodone: Oct 2015 - June 2016; 75 mg tapered over 2 mths, intense w/d after 3 weeks. Reinstatement: 07/25/16 - 25 mg; updosed 08/03/16 - 50 mg; 10/01/16- 62mg; 03/24/17 dropped to 50 mg (stable in 2.5 months) Current psych meds: Trazodone 50 mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Shep Posted March 13, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 13, 2017 Sending healing vibes your way, Ali. I hope you see some improvements soon. Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted March 13, 2017 Mentor Share Posted March 13, 2017 hang in there, kiddo this too shall pass..... PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content PRESENT DAYS: Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted March 13, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 13, 2017 Hi AliG Big hugs if you are up to them. Yup, this will pass as you know. We are getting hit with some blue skies and nice Spring temperatures around here so I figure you must be going into Fall or Winter. Do you think that has an effect? Have you gotten comfortable with a therapist of any kind? I haven't seen mine now since November.......yet, am glad to have her on file. It's amazing to me when I get out of a wave how little I can remember.......... or even imagine feeling so intensely the way I did......all that worried, overwhelmed, just hanging in business. Keeping it all very simple seems to help me.........as well as patiently waiting.........doing or even writing down some of my gratitude too........stretching with arms up and those silly fake grins really do help as well. Love, healing, and happy moments sent, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Santino Posted March 13, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 13, 2017 HI AliGJust hang on my friend. You are going to make it. It is the roller coaster of WD lying to youa s always but in the end you going to be you again.You have done sooo god up to now and there is no way you will fall back down.I love your progress and do not let your bio emotions delude you. We are in here for making it, i promise.Big hug from me.... 2015 - 2016 Xanax only rescue doses of 0.125 mg 1-2 times per month March 2016 0.125Mg * 2 Xanax for 10 days. 20 March 2016 0.25 Mg * 2 Xanax for one week. 1 April 2016 Tranxene 5 mg and Fevarin but bad reaction for 5 days.4 April 2016 25 Mg Amitryptiline + 6 MG bromazepam at night Started tapering Bromazepam 6 days later reached up to 3 MG in 10 days and withdrawal. Pdoc asked to go 6 MG again. 10 of May started Remeron 15 MG and started tapering Bromazepam again. SINCE 09/06/2016 BENZO FREE - Started Tapering Remeron 04/07/2016 04/Jul/16 12.8 Mg, 11/Aug/16 12 Mg, 20/Aug/16 11Mg, 3/Sept/16 10Mg, 11/Sept/16 9 Mg, 30/Sept/16 8.1 Mg, 14/Oct/16 7.25 Mg, 17/Nov/16 6.7, 23/Nov/16 6.5, 2/Dec/16 6.25, 9/Dec/16 6Mg, 25/Dec/16 5.7Mg, 4/Jan/17 5.4Mg, 20/Jan/17 5.2Mg, 07/Feb/17 5 Mg, 15/Feb/17 4.8Mg, 27/Feb/17 4.5Mg, 15/Mar/17 4.2Mg, 23/Mar/17 4Mg, 1/Apr/17 3.7Mg, 14/Apr/17 3.4Mg, 27/Apr/17 3.1Mg, 06/May/17 2.8Mg, 22/May/17 2.6Mg, 31/May/17 2.3Mg 09/Jun/17 2Mg, 20/Jun/17 1.7Mg, 29/Jun/17 1.4Mg, 11/Jul/17 1.2Mg, 20/Jul/17 1Mg, 31/Jul/17 0.8Mg, 11/Aug/17 0.6Mg, 23/Aug/17 0.5Mg, 05/Sept/17 0.4Mg, 13/Sept/17 0.3Mg. 22/Sept/17 0.2Mg, 03/Oct/17 0.15Mg, 10/Oct/17 0.1Mg, 23/Oct/17 0.05Mg, 22/Nov/17 0.025Mg, 06/DECEMBER/2017 MIRT FREEE. Link to comment
Purplestars22 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Hey AliG, sorry to hear that. I bet the wave will dissipate soon and you will be back to normal. Hang in there, you will get through this glitch. Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety Failed attempt to stop reinstated 1 year taper skipping doses Celexa free 12/2013 1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only Link to comment
freespirit Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 I hope the wave is passing for you Ali. I know it's hard when it feels like a step backwards. But I know you've told yourself all along that symptoms are signs of healing--so, it's another wave of healing. I think you're right about trying to practice patience--it will carry you through the wave and beyond. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
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