kateinsocal Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 It has been forever since I have updated but I really feel like there has not been any significant changes in my situation and I have been avoiding putting that down in words because it can be so distressing. I have been holding at 10 mg for almost 6 months now. I have had a few good days and I have bad days. Windows and waves I guess. I have a doctor’s appointment next week that was scheduled months ago to discuss my medication and continuing my taper. At this point I think I have decided I am going to stay on the 10 mg for 2017 and start tapering again in 2018 if, God willing, these symptoms have subsided. They have taken such a toll on me and have been so debilitating at times that I just don’t have it in me to keep going and fight though more or increased symptoms. I have been on this drug for almost 20 years so I believe it is going to take a lot of years to get off of it and at this point that is okay. Current symptoms: Dizziness has been coming and going and has gotten bad again the last couple of days with the vertigo and spinning room and collapsing. It seems like there is some form of dizziness every day, mostly mild but it has come on again the last couple of days as bad as it was in the beginning. Headaches – especially in the neck and upper shoulders seems to be a daily occurrence lately. Vision issues – the floaters in my eyes seem to be more annoying than usual. Skin is all itchy and have some breakouts/sores and rough dry patches cropping up. Terrible fatigue all day and insomnia at night. I could lay down and sleep for hours in the afternoon and come bed time I can’t seem to turn it off. Have been avoiding the naps but still get that weird second wind at night. Intermittent clicking in the ear lasting 10-30 seconds at a time. I wish I could say my mood and feelings are getting better but it seems I have been feeling the doom cloud the whole time. Bouts of feeling depressed and angry to just feeling blah and detached. Still plugging along trying to take care of myself and keep trying to think positive and hope the longer I hold the better it will get. Hi JLynn, SkyBlue recommended I check out your thread as I am also a Paxil user. Have you ever tried any sorts of cognitive behavioral therapy or talk therapy? Most of your symptoms do sound physical (and less likely to lead to therapy)... Just curious 2002-2003 25mg Paxil CR due to PTSD and severe anxiety. 2005-2016 25mg Paxil CR due to resurgence of panic attacks and severe anxiety. Started tapering late summer 2016. Aug 2016 - 25mg CR immediate cut to 12.5mg CR, then held 4-5 months Jan 2017 - 12.5mg (CR) to 12.5mg (non CR), then after a week. Jan/Feb 2017 - 12.5mg (non CR) taper down 2.5mg/week (1.25mg every 3-4 days), and felt no symptoms at all until debilitating withdrawal effects at 1.25mg, so immediately went back up to last stable dose of 2.5mg. Held at 2.5mg. Experienced mild/moderate anxiety waves, brain zaps, lightheadedness, feeling fuzzy, cortisol spikes, burning/prickling skin and lots of anxious energy. Tried Omega 3s for two days and experienced debilitating anxiety and depression (+urgent care visit), so stopped that 2/19. Mar 12 2017 - Switched to half liquid/half pill, had a minor spike in anxiety but it faded over a couple days Mar 19 2017 - Switched to full liquid - 2.5mg/1.25ml - experienced a spike 7-8 days in, but stabilized over next week. Another awful spike over 4/12-4/16 due to inadvertently eating a ton of flax seed, but two amazing normal weeks followed that. Tapering off liquid - 3/19 - 2.5mg, 4/30 - 2.25mg, 5/29 - 2.02mg, (weekend of depression around 7/2), 7/24 - 1.82mg, 9/4 - 1.64mg, slow taper (.04mg/wk) until .025ml liquid (0.50mg) last dose on 8/8/18, plus melatonin almost every night. Also daily mindfulness, CB therapy, exercise, and positive self talk. 1/2 lorazepam in emergencies (not since Sept 2017). Battle random nights of insomnia, and difficulty falling/staying asleep, lapses in focus, obsessive thought. A/O Aug 9. 2018 - PAXIL FREE. Link to comment
Jlynn Posted February 23, 2017 Author Share Posted February 23, 2017 It has been forever since I have updated but I really feel like there has not been any significant changes in my situation and I have been avoiding putting that down in words because it can be so distressing. I have been holding at 10 mg for almost 6 months now. I have had a few good days and I have bad days. Windows and waves I guess. I have a doctor’s appointment next week that was scheduled months ago to discuss my medication and continuing my taper. At this point I think I have decided I am going to stay on the 10 mg for 2017 and start tapering again in 2018 if, God willing, these symptoms have subsided. They have taken such a toll on me and have been so debilitating at times that I just don’t have it in me to keep going and fight though more or increased symptoms. I have been on this drug for almost 20 years so I believe it is going to take a lot of years to get off of it and at this point that is okay. Current symptoms: Dizziness has been coming and going and has gotten bad again the last couple of days with the vertigo and spinning room and collapsing. It seems like there is some form of dizziness every day, mostly mild but it has come on again the last couple of days as bad as it was in the beginning. Headaches – especially in the neck and upper shoulders seems to be a daily occurrence lately. Vision issues – the floaters in my eyes seem to be more annoying than usual. Skin is all itchy and have some breakouts/sores and rough dry patches cropping up. Terrible fatigue all day and insomnia at night. I could lay down and sleep for hours in the afternoon and come bed time I can’t seem to turn it off. Have been avoiding the naps but still get that weird second wind at night. Intermittent clicking in the ear lasting 10-30 seconds at a time. I wish I could say my mood and feelings are getting better but it seems I have been feeling the doom cloud the whole time. Bouts of feeling depressed and angry to just feeling blah and detached. Still plugging along trying to take care of myself and keep trying to think positive and hope the longer I hold the better it will get. Hi JLynn, SkyBlue recommended I check out your thread as I am also a Paxil user. Have you ever tried any sorts of cognitive behavioral therapy or talk therapy? Most of your symptoms do sound physical (and less likely to lead to therapy)... Just curious Hi Kate, I responded on your thread to this as well but in short I have not tried any CBT or talk therapy in a while. To be honest that is what got me in this situation in the first place and I have a hard time trusting doctors of any kind any more, which is saying a lot because I one of my jobs is in emergency medicine. 40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding..... Link to comment
Jlynn Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 Update: 10 mg for the last 8 months Just wanted to update my timeline. It has been almost exactly two years since I crashed on my bad very fast taper and found SA. This journey seems long and never ending sometimes. I have been holding at 10 mg for 8 months now and I have had some improvements and some setbacks. As always my biggest issue is with the ongoing vertigo and dizziness. It is still persistent and now seems to come in the afternoons and stays till bedtime. Some days it is mild and some days it is almost debilitating. Any advice on how long I count this as withdrawal before considering it might be something else? I don't want to spend a ton of money on doctors and tests if it would still be withdrawal related but I don't want to put off seeing a doctor if it could be something else that is serious. I really just want it to get better and go away. I am also dealing with some mood issues as well that have come on recently. Looking back I wonder if it is possibly I have withdrawal PTSD from two years ago when I had my life changing withdrawal episodes? If you have read my story you can see the dates and the symptoms were so bad and I have never been so scared in my life. Last year about this time was when the dizziness came back full force and I got a symptom flare up. I didn't think much of it because I was still tapering. Fast forward to this year and now here we are in March again and I have been on 10 mg for 8 months now. I have been suffering from dizziness, headaches, tension, insomnia, night sweats, depression, emotion swings, crying spells, ect. Now that the weather is changing like it does in March and it is the same time of year and I am having these weird things where I get really bad deja vu triggered by something I am doing or a smell or something and I begin to have this terrible dread come over me and then I get really anxious. It lasts for a while and then subsides and then something else triggers it. Is that even a possibility? I am hanging in there though with no plans to change my dose until I feel like I am healed from what I have now. Hopefully I am still healing! Trying to stay positive and work through everything to get better. 40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding..... Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted March 30, 2017 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 30, 2017 Just wanted to update my timeline. It has been almost exactly two years since I crashed on my bad very fast taper and found SA. Hi Jlynn, For my own symptoms, I try to think of it as: if it started on a dime with rapid-tapering or cold-turkeying, it's withdrawal. It would be too much of a coincidence for it not to be. I would be curious what others have to say. I'm glad you are hanging in there… It is a very tough road. Hugs!!!!!!! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
kateinsocal Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Update: 10 mg for the last 8 months Just wanted to update my timeline. It has been almost exactly two years since I crashed on my bad very fast taper and found SA. This journey seems long and never ending sometimes. I have been holding at 10 mg for 8 months now and I have had some improvements and some setbacks. As always my biggest issue is with the ongoing vertigo and dizziness. It is still persistent and now seems to come in the afternoons and stays till bedtime. Some days it is mild and some days it is almost debilitating. Any advice on how long I count this as withdrawal before considering it might be something else? I don't want to spend a ton of money on doctors and tests if it would still be withdrawal related but I don't want to put off seeing a doctor if it could be something else that is serious. I really just want it to get better and go away. I am also dealing with some mood issues as well that have come on recently. Looking back I wonder if it is possibly I have withdrawal PTSD from two years ago when I had my life changing withdrawal episodes? If you have read my story you can see the dates and the symptoms were so bad and I have never been so scared in my life. Last year about this time was when the dizziness came back full force and I got a symptom flare up. I didn't think much of it because I was still tapering. Fast forward to this year and now here we are in March again and I have been on 10 mg for 8 months now. I have been suffering from dizziness, headaches, tension, insomnia, night sweats, depression, emotion swings, crying spells, ect. Now that the weather is changing like it does in March and it is the same time of year and I am having these weird things where I get really bad deja vu triggered by something I am doing or a smell or something and I begin to have this terrible dread come over me and then I get really anxious. It lasts for a while and then subsides and then something else triggers it. Is that even a possibility? I am hanging in there though with no plans to change my dose until I feel like I am healed from what I have now. Hopefully I am still healing! Trying to stay positive and work through everything to get better. I wish so badly I knew what to tell you! I don't want to weigh in with my thoughts if they are incorrect and steer you down the wrong path. Have you other symptoms outside of the vertigo/dizziness gotten better at all? The crying spells was very consistently a withdrawal symptom for me as I never experienced that outside of withdrawal, but I'm not sure if 8 months in it would still be considered that... I know I had days where some symptoms were worse than others (they kind of took turns) but that long and consistent with the dizziness is quite puzzling! Have you ever had a blood panel done to check for iron levels etc? 2002-2003 25mg Paxil CR due to PTSD and severe anxiety. 2005-2016 25mg Paxil CR due to resurgence of panic attacks and severe anxiety. Started tapering late summer 2016. Aug 2016 - 25mg CR immediate cut to 12.5mg CR, then held 4-5 months Jan 2017 - 12.5mg (CR) to 12.5mg (non CR), then after a week. Jan/Feb 2017 - 12.5mg (non CR) taper down 2.5mg/week (1.25mg every 3-4 days), and felt no symptoms at all until debilitating withdrawal effects at 1.25mg, so immediately went back up to last stable dose of 2.5mg. Held at 2.5mg. Experienced mild/moderate anxiety waves, brain zaps, lightheadedness, feeling fuzzy, cortisol spikes, burning/prickling skin and lots of anxious energy. Tried Omega 3s for two days and experienced debilitating anxiety and depression (+urgent care visit), so stopped that 2/19. Mar 12 2017 - Switched to half liquid/half pill, had a minor spike in anxiety but it faded over a couple days Mar 19 2017 - Switched to full liquid - 2.5mg/1.25ml - experienced a spike 7-8 days in, but stabilized over next week. Another awful spike over 4/12-4/16 due to inadvertently eating a ton of flax seed, but two amazing normal weeks followed that. Tapering off liquid - 3/19 - 2.5mg, 4/30 - 2.25mg, 5/29 - 2.02mg, (weekend of depression around 7/2), 7/24 - 1.82mg, 9/4 - 1.64mg, slow taper (.04mg/wk) until .025ml liquid (0.50mg) last dose on 8/8/18, plus melatonin almost every night. Also daily mindfulness, CB therapy, exercise, and positive self talk. 1/2 lorazepam in emergencies (not since Sept 2017). Battle random nights of insomnia, and difficulty falling/staying asleep, lapses in focus, obsessive thought. A/O Aug 9. 2018 - PAXIL FREE. Link to comment
Vasherr Posted December 22, 2022 Share Posted December 22, 2022 Hi, @Jlynn, hope this message finds You well, how are You lately? Wishing You a lifelong window! V. Duloxetine 2016/17 - 30/60mg/30mg, c/t, light WD. Sertraline June 2019 50mg ADR Clorazepate June 2019 20-15-10mg for 3 weeks then sparsely until 2022, 2 times per month max and very low dose (5mg) Clorazepate Jan2022 10mg 5 days 2,5mg 2 days then off Venlafaxine June 2019 75mg ADR, 17,5mg, titrated to 37,5mg Venlafaxine Jan 2022 Covid, hard ADR on 37,5mg, reduced to 20mg ADR, tried ct, crash, Venlafaxine 22Jan22 reinstated 9,4mg, too low/ 01Feb22- 12mg/ 12Feb- 11,25mg/ 16Feb- 11mg/ 20Feb- 10,8mg/ 24Feb22-10,575mg/ 16Mar22- 10,46mg/ 26Mar22- 10,35mg/ 26Apr22- 10mg/ 01Oct- 9,9mg/ 13Nov- 9,7mg 01Jan24-7,5mg MAR24 Due to another sudden intolerance had to fast taper venlafaxine to 1,14mg Seems like all of this time I was in benzo withdrawal, because when I took it now in desperation to help it made me feel worse, tried reinstatement first 1mg, then 0,05mg both made me feel worse. Link to comment
Jlynn Posted February 10, 2023 Author Share Posted February 10, 2023 Hello everyone, Wow has it been a long time since I posted! This is a long journey and unfortunately, I have been hit with something that I guess could be some form of protracted withdrawal symptoms. I am still on 10 mg and have been since 2016. A kin to something like PTSD I have just not had the will to continue a taper. In December I was hit with another round of severe vertigo, dizziness, headaches, and neck muscle pain. Now six weeks later it is still there and still strong. Dr. visits, vestibular therapy, chiropractic, massage, muscle relaxants, and pain medications, and nothing seems to resolve it. I fear I may have a recurrence of withdrawal symptoms since they cannot tell me what is causing it. I am going to try acupuncture for the first time tomorrow but I am not holding out any hope as everything I have tried has not helped. As I struggle to cope I wanted to come and write this down in case it is a part of my withdrawal story and the battle continues. 40 years old and have been on 20 mg of Paxil for the last 19 years. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to quit over the years.01/2015 Was tapering using liquid Paxil. MD has prescribed 1 ml = 2mg taper every two weeks or once withdrawal symptoms at that dose subside. Reduced from 20 to 10 mg using this method and at 10 mg severe withdrawal set in. 1.5 months of pure hell. Found SA, learned what was happening, and reinstated to 20 mg. After a month of severe symptoms recovered with the reinstatement. Fish oil - Multi Vitamin - Pro-biotic, amino-acid/B Vitamin supplement every day. Magnesium as needed.08/09/15 - 18 mg - 09/08/15 - 16.4 mg - 10/10/15 - 15 mg - 01/02/16 - 13.6 mg 02/15/16 - 12.0 mg - Bad symptom flare up 40 days into drop - Dizziness, panic/anxiety, overheating (esp at night), low appetite, headache, insomnia with bizarre dreams, internal shaking. 04/16/16 - 11mg - 7/17/16 - 10 mg holding..... Link to comment
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