Posted 20 April 2015 - 12:22 PM
The Lame Goat
You've seen a herd of goats
going down to the water.
The lame and dreamy goat
brings up the rear.
There are worried faces about that one,
but now they're laughing
because look, as they return,
that goat is leading!
There are many different kinds of knowing.
The lame goat's kind is a branch
that traces back to the roots of presence.
Learn from the lame goat,
and lead the herd home.
--Rumi (translation by Coleman Barks)
Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease" as I was told. Long and tragic story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything.
Now tapering, ironically (but not surprisingly) healthier and more functional than I ever was during the years on the "meds," even with withdrawal (usually fairly mild at this slow pace).
Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.
Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien
Feb 14 2011: 86 mg Neurontin 144 Lamictal, 5.5 Celexa 0.42 Xanax 1.9 mg Valium
Feb 16 2012: 10 mg Neurontin 115 Lamictal 3.7 Celexa 0.285 Xanax 2.0 Valium
Feb 22 2013: 86 Lamictal 2.05 Celexa 0.23 Xanax 1.8 Valium
Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium
Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium
Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium
Now: 43 0.625 0.0775 1.3
I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.