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Moon -- I'm Still Alive!


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#1 Moon

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Posted 27 April 2015 - 10:48 PM

Hello... Anybody still out there? I haven't posted in awhile...(okay, maybe years)! I just wanted to update anyone who remembers me from PP as gbass that I am still doing well! I recently ran into a couple guys who were taking paxil and I had completely forgotten how miserable life used to be!! I haven't been on this site in a long time because of that fact, but after speaking to these two men for awhile, I thought an encouraging word about life after Paxil might be encouraging!! It's been about 5 years since my cold turkey, and life couldn't be better! I guess the best thing to say is that there is hope for everyone and the best testimony I can give is that for two years, I remembered every day that I was no longer taking this drug and now I barely remember what it was like! I will try to visit this site more often in the future and offer any encouragement I can as well as just plain chat with old friends (not as in agewise old, just longtime friends! :D). Hang in there everybody and as a very dear friend once told me, "If you find yourself in hell, keep walking"!



#2 Prestorb

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Posted 28 April 2015 - 05:30 AM

Thank you for your post, it is very much appreciated!!

2005-2009, Lexapro 10 - 20 mg, CT WD w/severe depression and anxiety
2010-2015, Paxil, 30 - 40 mg, tapered off at 10 mg/week, moderate anxiety and depression
2010-2015, Clonozapam 0.25 mg, as needed for anxiety and sleep
1/10/2015, Zoloft 25 mg, tried to increase to 50 and 75, but nausea and dizziness
2/13/2015, Paxil 5 mg, added back after 2 weeks at zero to reduce WD
2/28/2015, Paxil 10 mg, increased from 5 mg to reduce WD, HOLDING
3/04/2015, Zoloft discontinued (reduced to ~12.5 mg on 2/19, ~6.25 mg on 2/26, then zero)
4/26/2015, Paxil starting 10% taper (no scale so was inadvertently at 20% taper, yikes!)
4/30/2015, Paxil 10 mg, reinstated

5/02/2016, Started 10% taper, reinstated to 10 mg on 5/11/16

Primary symptoms: apathy, demotivation, anhedonia, fatigue (WD basically disappeared in July 2015 until start of taper, May 2016)


#3 alex

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Posted 28 April 2015 - 08:34 AM

Thank you for your post, it is very much appreciated!!

 

DITTO!!


4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.
Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months.

Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.
First 3 months off acute w/d
Protracted w/d ever since.
Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD

04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast.

3 years and 4 months off.

waves and windows.Very much recovered.

November 2015,health issue.Setback.
 

 


#4 WinningThrough

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Posted 28 April 2015 - 09:46 AM

This looks like one for the success stories section! I'm so glad you are better, Moon.
The only way out is through.

Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia
Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn
Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg
End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg
End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg
End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn
April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014
29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever
29 June 2014 - med free

#5 Altostrata

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Posted 28 April 2015 - 10:25 AM

Hi, Moon! Good to hear from you and really good you're doing so well.

 

May I move this topic to Success Stories?

 

How much were you taking, how long, when did you go off?

 

In retrospect, what was the recovery process like? Did it go in phases? What withdrawal symptoms did you have at the beginning, which went away first, did anything help move healing along?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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#6 Moon

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Posted 29 April 2015 - 04:12 AM

Move this wherever you see fit!!!

 

It's almost like a bad car accident that you don't remember all of the details real clearly, possibly because you don't want to remember them because it was too painful. I was on 40 mg daily for 6 years and quit cold turkey.

 

The beginning I was very emotional and even suicidal. Brain zaps, sleepless nights, crying, not understanding what was going on, pretty much all the typical symptoms. The best therapy became talking to other people who were going through the same thing and realizing I was not alone! Once I realized what and why, it was only a matter of overcoming! I would listen to heavy metal at very loud volumes while doing other tasks, even posting nonsense on the other, no longer available website for people suffering the same thing!

 

I think overstimulating my brain to perform more tasks than it wanted to was key for me. You have to understand when I listen to music, I couldn't tell you the words to a song after listening to it a hundred times, but after a couple of times, I knew the key signature, time signature, and can memorize and play all the parts so it wasn't just listening, I was learning! (That was a serious run on sentence!)

 

That's what I mean by overstimulating and why music worked for me. I couldn't just listen though, I had to be performing at least one other complex task or several other simpler tasks.

 

I also believe laughter is great medicine! watch funny videos, read a list of banjo or engineer jokes, (Sorry any banjo playing engineers out there! Double whammy)!

 

Learning there are people all over the world out there suffering because of the same thing, lets you know you are not alone, but we are each unique individuals. Medications have similar effects on many but specific effects on each and every one of us, so learn all you can from others, but never say that "this worked for this person and we like the same things so it must work for me".

 

I would never reccomend quitting c.t. like I did to anyone!!! It may have worked for me and I had a fairly short recovery period of 18 months, of which only 6 were really bad. I believe it is similar to addiction. After you get to a certain point in the recovery process, it becomes a mind over matter thing. Let me reinterate, AFTER A CERTAIN POINT!!

 

At some point down the road, for me it became, "I am not going to let Paxil control the rest of my life"! This could be at 6 months, or a few years. For each individual and their body chemistry, and personal habits and lifestyle, and strength and willpower, it is different! Never gauge your progress or success to someone elses. They may be recovering at a quicker pace which is psychologically depressing if you are close to or look up to that person. Celebrate "Your" triumphs and sucess at "Your" pace.

 

I am certain by now this doesn't need to be reinterated, but I will again anyway. Each and every one of us are unique. All medications come with a list of possible side effects, not because everyone who took this medication had all of the side effects. Only one person in a thousand had "Anal seepage". (Sorry if that gave you a visual)!

 

I hope that is what you wanted in a fairly short form as i am a three fingered typist so this took awhile and is more than I usually type. I also hope that each and everyone here takes from this post that there is life after anti depressants, and it is wonderful for me and hopefully will be for you as well! I don't really have any advice for anyone other than try many different things, as what is good for the goose isn't really always what is good for the gander. What if the goose is cooked for Christmas dinner? Not pleasant for the gander!

 

Just as in any tough work project or correcting a bad habit, celebrate the baby steps that you overcome or take! We didn't get in the shape we are in overnight so we won't get out of it overnight either! Progress is measured not a destination. It is an ongoing action.

 

Enough rambling for now I guess. I love you all and pray for you that you will be succesful in your desire to achieve your goals! (One step at a time)!


Edited by Altostrata, 29 April 2015 - 01:32 PM.
added paragraph breaks


#7 Altostrata

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Posted 29 April 2015 - 01:34 PM

Thanks, Moon. Please stop by and let us know how you're doing.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#8 WiggleIt

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 12:25 AM

Moon, what a GREAT story!!  Thank you for posting, and I hope to see you back again soon, cheering us all on!
 




(For the sake of my own sanity, I think I need to dig through threads again and find some female recovery stories of 100% success.  I am accidentally coming across all sorts of 100% recovery stories from men, which end up upholding the urban legend that men heal form this better—maybe because of less hormone fluctuation?—but that just CAN'T be true!!!  There have gotta be some girls out there for me who've had as much success as Moon, Pax80, and Lossleader!!!)


-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in October 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014, off-label for pain

-Meds were prescribed for an "autoimmune chronic pain disease."  It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but did not find out until AFTER meds had caused total damage.  All med tapers & cold turkeys directed by doctors 

-Nortriptyline from May 2012 - Dec 2013

-Desipramine from Jan 2014 - October 2014. 60 mg reduced by 10 mg each month. Held 30 mg for 3 months. Rapid taper over 1 week from 30 mg down to 20, 10, 0

-Lorazepam 1 mg per night in 2011. In 2012, used 1 mg per month or less.  Lorazepam on & off Dec 2013 - Aug 2014, did not exceed 1.5 mg, did not exceed 3x a week

-On desipramine had muscle tremors & rigidity. Were they side effects or withdrawal effects as I reduced desip throughout 2014? Or was I in WD from nortrip as I was on desip? First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs were too stupid to help me figure it out

-Last dosage desip 10 mg on Oct. 29, 2014. Last dose lzpam 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Paradoxical reactions to benzos after quitting TCAs

-Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed.  NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it.

-Month 7 off meds: hair falling out; no improvement in vision; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned
-Month 8 off meds: thrown back to acute, including Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia
-Month 9 off meds: tardive dystonia worsened, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat.
-Month 13 off meds: Back to total acute, brain zaps back, plus developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs are now damaged


#9 btdt

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Posted 01 May 2015 - 01:22 PM

If we can do a poll her perhaps we should of men and woman who feel completely or near complete in their healing. 


WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivinganti...ng-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)


#10 Cyrosp

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Posted 03 May 2015 - 02:49 PM

I'm new here today and your post is just what I needed! I'm reading a book by David Fox and he says "if you are feeling stuck in a negative state and you feel yourself spiraling further and further into a mental funk, get out of the house. Get out of the house IMMEDIATELY and go somewhere. If it's for exercise, even better. But go out and take some deep breaths and move your body. " it's my current mantra!

Anti-depressant free as of October 2015

Started therapy/counseling January 2016

---

Took Wellbutrin only after several years of Effexor plus Wellbutrin.
discontinued Effexor on 4/25/15 against doctor's orders.
Experienced brain zaps, dizziness, and insomnia. Super woman energy. Major grief and rages.
----
Started antidepressants about 20 years ago. Have been on celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, Wellbutrin.
Really want to get off meds but don't know if I can. Not much support for this goal from physician or family.


#11 Moon

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 07:34 PM

Just doing my (whats every 3,4, or 5 years?) check in. My life has slowed a little, so I'll try to check in a little more regular. I can't remember how many years it's been off paxil, but at least 5! Life is good. At a recent doctor's visit, She said she could give me an A.D. to take off label for another issue. I couldn't stop laughing! I politely said "No Thanks", and left. My life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it is sooooooooooooooooooooooo much better! I just wanted to drop a note of encouragement to those of you who are struggling. Ask questions. There are good people here and some good advice. Don't give up! If anybody knows where I can get in touch with my buddy from Poland, I'd like to reconnect. Carpe Diem!



#12 Fresh

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 07:38 PM

Hiya Moon ,   thanks for the update.   This will be joined to your thread in "Success Stories".

 

Is your buddy from Poland  member of this site?

 

bw ,  Fresh


1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg
2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg
Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta
Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.
July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.
Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.
October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.
March 2016 , 21mg

#13 Moon

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 07:42 PM

I Thought he was one of the original members. I can't figure out how to P.M. Give me a minute... *begins humming Stairway To Heaven for hold music*



#14 Moon

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Posted 14 February 2016 - 07:48 PM

*Stops humming as I finally figured out how to P.M.*

 

Sorry, It's been a long week. I have to crack myself up!



#15 Altostrata

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Posted 15 February 2016 - 01:58 PM

Good to see you again, Moon.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#16 SkyBlue

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Posted 16 February 2016 - 11:50 AM

Moon, what a wonderful story and thank you for sharing it.  :)


Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" in July 2015 from 20 to 10 to 5 mg in a month, at doctor's advice. = Essentially a cold-turkey.

*Current*: Feb. 2: 0.86 mg. Jan 1:  .88 mg, baby!! …. August 31: Less than 1mg Paxil! ... July 30: 1 mg Paxil! ! ! And 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression likely caused by (then-undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder. 

Rapid "taper" July 2015 and started Zoloft as a "cross-taper". Feb 2016: Found SA!! As of June 2016: Doing 2% cuts (Brassmonkey Slide!). 

Now: fish oil, magnesium; protein; exercise; healthy fats; acupuncture, meditation, & a new doctor.  I am in recovery from an eating disorder!!!  ***Have you had a sleep study?***    *Feel free to message me if I don't respond to a forum thread.* 


#17 Lexy

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Posted 16 February 2016 - 05:19 PM

So glad to read your success!!!
Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds
Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg.
Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg
May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg
Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45
Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg
Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg
Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89

#18 Moon

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Posted 16 February 2016 - 08:24 PM

Good to see you again, Moon.

You to Alto!! I spoke with a very good friend of ours from the left coast for almost 2 hours the other night!! It was a great visit. Hope you are well.



#19 Tootsieroll

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Posted 17 February 2016 - 01:47 PM

Aww this is such an uplifting story. I think i remember your posts Moon. I love the fact that you can find the humor in life once again. I found myself in a pickle with some additional benzo use, but i can't wait to be where you are now! Onward and upward!
<p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

#20 Moon

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Posted 17 February 2016 - 06:34 PM

Aww this is such an uplifting story. I think i remember your posts Moon. I love the fact that you can find the humor in life once again. I found myself in a pickle with some additional benzo use, but i can't wait to be where you are now! Onward and upward!

 

Sounds like you are well on your way already! I had to learn to laugh at myself again. That was key.



#21 SkyBlue

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Posted 22 February 2016 - 05:59 PM

My life has slowed a little, so I'll try to check in a little more regular. I can't remember how many years it's been off paxil, but at least 5! Life is good. At a recent doctor's visit, She said she could give me an A.D. to take off label for another issue. I couldn't stop laughing! I politely said "No Thanks", and left. 

 

Oh, man. That's funny! :) Hopefully more and more people will laugh at our doctors when they suggest taking an AD. 


Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" in July 2015 from 20 to 10 to 5 mg in a month, at doctor's advice. = Essentially a cold-turkey.

*Current*: Feb. 2: 0.86 mg. Jan 1:  .88 mg, baby!! …. August 31: Less than 1mg Paxil! ... July 30: 1 mg Paxil! ! ! And 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression likely caused by (then-undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder. 

Rapid "taper" July 2015 and started Zoloft as a "cross-taper". Feb 2016: Found SA!! As of June 2016: Doing 2% cuts (Brassmonkey Slide!). 

Now: fish oil, magnesium; protein; exercise; healthy fats; acupuncture, meditation, & a new doctor.  I am in recovery from an eating disorder!!!  ***Have you had a sleep study?***    *Feel free to message me if I don't respond to a forum thread.* 


#22 BlueLeader

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Posted 28 February 2016 - 05:24 PM

Moon, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story of recovery with us. It is so necessary to read success stories of people who have come through this.

Please continue to stop by and let us know how you are doing!


Mid 2006-Early 2013  Celexa 40 MG, Xanax .50, Trazadone 50 MG - No problems with side effects

Very fast-few weeks taper in Early 2013 off all medication.

Crashed summer 2013 Went back on all meds same dosage (different brand of Celexa) Sept 2013. 

 

Sexual Side Effects (which I never had before) begun December 2013.  Off Celexa February 2014.  Xanax remained while Trazadone done in August 2014.

Continue to experience complete PSSD to this day with sadly no signs of improvement yet.


#23 Hopeinahpwr

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Posted 01 April 2016 - 03:12 PM

Moon,
Thank you for your thoughts and I will use that saying, it's great!...If you find yourself in hell, keep walking!!!! Congratulations on your freedom!

On zoloft since 2000 for OCD/anxiety. Tapered off from 150mg to 100, 50, 25 over Dec/Jan 2015. After month n half off, began depression. Being terrified, as I never had depression before, after a few days, went back to 50mg, then five days later to 100mg. Now stable. I will stop this medication, with time and perseverance...my current taper level and timing are as follows, which includes No other Rx's, No alcohol, NEVER any illicit drugs:
    84mg from October 2016

    82mg from February 2017

"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift." - Eleanor Roosevelt 

"Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation."

               - Viktor Frankl 


#24 Prozac20

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Posted 02 May 2016 - 06:13 AM

Im so happy for you . How long were you in Paxil and do you remember how long it took your symptoms to subside ?
Xanax PRN ( 1/2 of .25mg approximately 2-3 a month when needed ) since May 2015
In April 2016 started birth control and in my opinion it triggered anxiety for almost a week straight and took 1/2 .25mg Xanax everyday for that week ( never had taken that many in a row before )
Saw the family MD and gave me Prozac 20 mg.
took it for 6 days and could not handle the side effects and had to stop working
Went back to the dr on the 7 day and told me to stop CT . I told him that I was scared to stop so suddenly so he gave me 10mg to take to see if the side effects decreased
Took the 10mg that night and the next day felt so much worse . After that did take anything any more except and antibiotic due to UTI
It's been almost 7 weeks and I have a lot of weakness ( comes and goes) anxiety , cortisol urges at night and worse in the morning which usually lessens throughout the day , tinnitus , heavy leg feeling , fatigue and burning skin mostly my left arm, face and neck mainly when I fee the cortisol surges .

#25 Mort81

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Posted 07 May 2016 - 02:00 AM

HAAHAHA so funny that doctor offered you another antidepressant omg! IF I were you I would have died laughing aswell.  Thanks for checking back 


Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th Clonazapam. Currently 0.10mg daily. PPI Dexlant 20-30mg for last 29 months currently at 30mg

#26 Nadia

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Posted 10 May 2016 - 09:51 AM

Yay!!


'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.


#27 NaturalBorn

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Posted 02 October 2016 - 05:14 PM

Move this wherever you see fit!!!

 

It's almost like a bad car accident that you don't remember all of the details real clearly, possibly because you don't want to remember them because it was too painful. I was on 40 mg daily for 6 years and quit cold turkey.

 

The beginning I was very emotional and even suicidal. Brain zaps, sleepless nights, crying, not understanding what was going on, pretty much all the typical symptoms. The best therapy became talking to other people who were going through the same thing and realizing I was not alone! Once I realized what and why, it was only a matter of overcoming! I would listen to heavy metal at very loud volumes while doing other tasks, even posting nonsense on the other, no longer available website for people suffering the same thing!

 

I think overstimulating my brain to perform more tasks than it wanted to was key for me. You have to understand when I listen to music, I couldn't tell you the words to a song after listening to it a hundred times, but after a couple of times, I knew the key signature, time signature, and can memorize and play all the parts so it wasn't just listening, I was learning! (That was a serious run on sentence!)

 

That's what I mean by overstimulating and why music worked for me. I couldn't just listen though, I had to be performing at least one other complex task or several other simpler tasks.

 

I also believe laughter is great medicine! watch funny videos, read a list of banjo or engineer jokes, (Sorry any banjo playing engineers out there! Double whammy)!

 

Learning there are people all over the world out there suffering because of the same thing, lets you know you are not alone, but we are each unique individuals. Medications have similar effects on many but specific effects on each and every one of us, so learn all you can from others, but never say that "this worked for this person and we like the same things so it must work for me".

 

I would never reccomend quitting c.t. like I did to anyone!!! It may have worked for me and I had a fairly short recovery period of 18 months, of which only 6 were really bad. I believe it is similar to addiction. After you get to a certain point in the recovery process, it becomes a mind over matter thing. Let me reinterate, AFTER A CERTAIN POINT!!

 

At some point down the road, for me it became, "I am not going to let Paxil control the rest of my life"! This could be at 6 months, or a few years. For each individual and their body chemistry, and personal habits and lifestyle, and strength and willpower, it is different! Never gauge your progress or success to someone elses. They may be recovering at a quicker pace which is psychologically depressing if you are close to or look up to that person. Celebrate "Your" triumphs and sucess at "Your" pace.

 

I am certain by now this doesn't need to be reinterated, but I will again anyway. Each and every one of us are unique. All medications come with a list of possible side effects, not because everyone who took this medication had all of the side effects. Only one person in a thousand had "Anal seepage". (Sorry if that gave you a visual)!

 

I hope that is what you wanted in a fairly short form as i am a three fingered typist so this took awhile and is more than I usually type. I also hope that each and everyone here takes from this post that there is life after anti depressants, and it is wonderful for me and hopefully will be for you as well! I don't really have any advice for anyone other than try many different things, as what is good for the goose isn't really always what is good for the gander. What if the goose is cooked for Christmas dinner? Not pleasant for the gander!

 

Just as in any tough work project or correcting a bad habit, celebrate the baby steps that you overcome or take! We didn't get in the shape we are in overnight so we won't get out of it overnight either! Progress is measured not a destination. It is an ongoing action.

 

Enough rambling for now I guess. I love you all and pray for you that you will be succesful in your desire to achieve your goals! (One step at a time)!

beautifull story, just a question, you mentioned that your life is not nearly perfect... i hope it's not due to withdrawal or any health issue related to that right? would you say that you feel 100%?  like not a single residual symptom from that cold turkey experience? i tried going cold turkey but couldn't deal with that so after 4 months i went back to the poison called effexor. now i'm taking trazadone and seroquel. but what i want to really ask you is, do you feel totally healthy and over the withdrawal? like i what i really want to know is, can you AT SOME POINT feel tottaly healed? with any kind of wd symptoms, or any wave as well? please i need to know if i'm ever going to be like i was before this drugs.... every single success story that i read, people are saying like "it's been 7 years or something, and i'm really better but still worst then before i tried drugs" and that really desencourages me (ignore my english please)... am i going to someday be able to feel like i never did any antidepressant? i hope you understood my question, it's really hard to express yourself in other language and going to withdrawal at the same time


(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 


#28 Cean

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Posted 04 January 2017 - 08:14 PM

I'm new here today and your post is just what I needed! I'm reading a book by David Fox and he says "if you are feeling stuck in a negative state and you feel yourself spiraling further and further into a mental funk, get out of the house. Get out of the house IMMEDIATELY and go somewhere. If it's for exercise, even better. But go out and take some deep breaths and move your body. " it's my current mantra!

Thanks Cyrosp! I've had moments of spiraling into the abyss. This will become my mantra as well!

#29 Lawyerliz

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Posted 07 January 2017 - 08:23 AM

Hi moon, I new, but glad you are better.

#30 bhasski

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 01:33 PM

Hi .. I am new here ... Happy for you. I have CTed Paxil 12 months back on doctor's advice, living through hell then . Reinstated on Sertraline for a month, with Aripropazole and Seroquel.. got restless legs with all problems standing. This time I CTed it and now 8 months off . I am sorry that I m posting it here but very tired in head.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda

#31 SkyBlue

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 09:55 AM

bhasski, can you write an Introduction thread so people know more about your experiences? Cold-turkeying Paxil is horrible, beyond horrible. If you share your experiences people will likely be able to help you a bit, or at least share their similar experiences to let you know you're not alone.


Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" in July 2015 from 20 to 10 to 5 mg in a month, at doctor's advice. = Essentially a cold-turkey.

*Current*: Feb. 2: 0.86 mg. Jan 1:  .88 mg, baby!! …. August 31: Less than 1mg Paxil! ... July 30: 1 mg Paxil! ! ! And 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!!  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression likely caused by (then-undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder. 

Rapid "taper" July 2015 and started Zoloft as a "cross-taper". Feb 2016: Found SA!! As of June 2016: Doing 2% cuts (Brassmonkey Slide!). 

Now: fish oil, magnesium; protein; exercise; healthy fats; acupuncture, meditation, & a new doctor.  I am in recovery from an eating disorder!!!  ***Have you had a sleep study?***    *Feel free to message me if I don't respond to a forum thread.*