manymoretodays

☼ manymoretodays: off Adderall

813 posts in this topic

I don't know......I am practice posting.

 

At present I am about 5 days off Adderal, 2.5 mg.  It feels alot like when I finally came off Lexapro......I was down to 3 mg. and they took me off of it completely in October while I was in the hospital........meanwhile started up on the Adderal and still am on Trileptal 150mg. x2/day.

 

Anyway mostly upper back achiness now.......total demotivation as anything is stressful and am just working for staying calm, fluids, eating, sleep.   A conversation by phone once in awhile.  Pay the bills.  Accept help when I can.

 

So maybe I am somewhat on topic.

 

Not sure I could list all the meds. that I have withdrawn from yet........someday soon.

 

I just wanted to be around people that get it..........and find the hope and strength again.

 

You know.......I believe in God(although a God that accepts my anger sometimes), but even more so in a universal strength to be found in others.

 

Anyway.......thankful for my journey in a way.......especially in those windows I get of clarity and calm.

 

 

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Welcome, manymoretodays.

 

I moved your post here to start your own Introductions topic, where you can talk about your situation and track your progress.

 

How did you go off Adderal? When did you go off Lexapro?

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Off Lexapro in October.

 

I was only on 2.5mg. Adderal so just stopped it 4 or 5 days ago.

 

Off Seroquel a couple of years ago.

 

Off Effexor before that.

 

Zyprexa before that.

 

And many more.........

 

10 years of an MAO inhibitor and finally off that at least 10 years ago.

 

27 years total of medical(pharmacological) mental health management.

 

Best I can tell from what I have read is that it could be several weeks of this kind of suffering.

 

My main goal at present..........avoid hospitalization at all costs.  I did go to the hospital for the first time in 7 or 8 years this past Oct.  The co-pay would be way to stressful.

 

I can still remember better days........well great days and a great outlook and feeling healthy........so that's good.

 

Upbeat and positive......as much as possible........one of these days I may be able to write/type better, gather my thoughts and all that.

 

Thanks for being here.

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Welcome manymoretodays from me also.

 

Thank you for joining and for posting an introduction, you will find a lot of help and support here. Whatever you are able to write is fine, many of us here have problems with writing and cognition due to withdrawal and drug effects, so we understand.

 

How long were you on Lexapro for? Did you taper from that, or just stop taking it? What symptoms are you having at the moment?

 

You wrote that the way you feel now is similar to Lexapro withdrawal, did you find that going on Adderal and Trileptal stopped the lexapro withdrawal?

 

I apologise for all the question, but the more information we have about your history, the easier it is to understand what might be going on and then be able to offer helpful suggestions. Is your plan to eventually come off Trileptal also?

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Probably easier to just answer questions so thanks for asking them.

 

I wish I could remember how long on Lexapro.......probably 8-10 years and often in combination with other psych meds.

 

I had gotten down to 5 mg. and had finally tried the liquid and was down to 3 mg. when I went into the hospital.........a "loved one's" suicide the Spring before became so emotionally difficult.  This time the psychiatrist told me he thought I had a "thought disorder" and offered me either/or a benzo. or a stimulant and I suggested the trileptal thinking perhaps I could go with that a year.  Of course in the hospital they just took me off Lexapro completely.  And I had come a long way.......such a long way from October to Febuary only to lose it or so it seems.

 

The thing is I am so very sensitive to any psych meds now.........my experiences with many were so frightening.

 

Most recently I suppose the trigger was a very bad relationship with a sort of deceptive internet troll.........disturbed individual who left me feeling very used, as well as confused.  I can only surmise that his intent was to harm in the end.........  So........subsequently instead of seeing all the good and daily miracles and actually liking myself........I am now pretty wary of all.

 

Symptoms now........hmmmmm........tearful quite frequently, alot of fears about this and that,  loss of daily functioning in any kind of moving forward direction, most of the suicidal ideation seems to have lifted and honest I know it is JUST ideation.  Lot's of negativity.  Hard to relate to people at all.  I spose some of that agoraphobia that you mention.......so hard after the season change to even put myself together in a way that feels acceptable to go out at all.  A general overwhelm.......household stuff that should be taken care of, an iffy car.  Nervous on the freeways.  Sadness at knowing I have very little support that actually knows what I need.......I don't even know what I need.  I mean I have read about it but do know that it just doesn't exist for most of us.   Other than to just stay alive and wait........I have been fairly good at doing that so many times.  And it seems I have lost the ability to use so many of my coping skills gleaned over time.  Focus is shot.  Irritable.  That kind of emotional pain that just brings one to their knees.  Trying to read bits and pieces.  Trying to only talk to people when I feel up to it so I can do my best to be my old kind self who is actually interested in them in any way.  Paranoia.......improving.

 

I have followed Beyond Meds for a long time and Will Hall and all those great people.

 

Anyway......just trying to get the right attitude back. 

 

Just trying to listen.  A rambling mind as well.

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Headaches.  Exhaustion.  Some tinnitis.

 

And........is this really a safe place, this site? 

 

I will try a gratitude list.........

 

I know I have people that Love me and accept me even with all my inconsistencies.

It is okay that they can't be here and take care of me. 

I know I am strong enough.

I do have a roof over my head.

Money to pay the bills.

I am aware of my effect on others and try to minimize it as it does, truly, bring them down.

My son seems happy and well and just turned 23.

Last Spring I was doing okay at this time of year........happy and dealing with things as they come.  Hopeful for a more balanced life and greater security.

This IS my journey........no one ever said it would be easy.

I have time.  Time, time, time.

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On the Trileptal and Adderal helping with the Lexapro withdrawal question.

 

You know I am really not sure what was what at that time.  I came home from the hospital still pretty messed up.........had a bit more help than I have now.......and gradually.......maybe over a month or 2.........felt like I could make it on my own again.  I started walking and got to some walk/jogs and swimming and then some ski ing........and for awhile everything seemed good, manageable, doable.  I did manage to get away for 3 weeks as well around the holidays......that helped more than anything.   I thought I would be ready for some PT work even.......  But pfft.......starting at the bottom again.  Honestly........completely blown away by the internet/text relationship thing........it just ended so ugly.........kind of a long story of how it even began.

 

So yah.....maybe not the best time to further get off yet another med. ...........but still........there is a part of me I trust and listen to or have learned to.......so so far I am sticking with it.  I mean I feel like I could not feel worse, or felt like that, and honestly not sure if I feel worse than I did before coming off the Adderal.

 

And yes I would like to get off the Trileptal as well and go med free.  I am not totally sure it is realistic anymore.  I mean I don't have any live in help.......a few folks that I just don't want to overtax with requests. 

 

Kind of a patchwork job of putting a long history somewhat together.

 

Wish me much luck getting some bills paid today...........I truly appreciate your reading and caring.

 

 

 

Oh also Depakote and Tegretal in the past meds.

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MMT, it's a good sign some of the symptoms have eased.

 

Please put ALL the drugs you take in the Drug Interactions Checker http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.htmland post the results in this topic.

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Wish I could.  I wish I could.......

 

I went to the highlighted site without success but that's okay...........as I am doubtful I could fill anything out.  Difficulty logging in even so maybe will just read a bit.......there is a ton on this site.  And journal a little.

 

I did a phone visit with my therapist.........I mean it is nice that after all these years I have one who I feel pretty okay about.

 

I guess my quest for going med free someday started with reading Robert Whitaker's anatomy of an epidemic.  I actually felt like his poster child.  I mean he is so right and I am so thankful that he can see and get into words what has really been going on with mental health care since prozac came on the market.  Kind of coincides with when I started seeking treatment for depression and anxiety. 

 

And then I was able to attend a freebie given in my State, training to be a certified peer specialist.  And I began to trust what I already knew...........that all along I was right.........

 

I used to be a medical professional.  First an RN..........pediatrics, critical care and then became a pediatric nurse practitioner.  I used to believe it all. After worsening psychologically with every medication prescribed and gaining diagnosis after diagnosis I certainly do not believe it anymore.

 

I guess I do believe I will get there.........not knowing where where is going to be yet.  And refuse to believe that I will lose it all, in fact, still believe I may get further than I am now.    And do know that it could be worse, I could have worse circumstances. 

 

So hard to read some of the stories here and the time consumed in healing to get to a functional level again.  I so wish it was easier for us all.

 

I wrote another entry but managed to lose it.........one of these days.........don't know when..........I will try and get that medication history going that is alongside most peoples posts.

 

Still working on paying bills........do what I can when I am able, that is my motto for now...........and stay afloat.

 

Thanks Altostrata for having this site.

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No gross interactions found in present medications.  I am on Acyclovir and Trileptal only right now.   And the L-methylfolate for a known genetic deficiency.   D3 and Vit. C.    But geeze.......looking at all the side effects I do believe I will cut both the Acyclovir and Trileptal doses in half.

 

I believe I made it to day 7 off of Adderal 2.5 mg.  And will say approximately 6 mos. off Lexapro(last dose 3mg.)

 

So I will celebrate??  :)

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Oh.......next tell me how to put my list with approx. dates and doses below my avatar.  I realize it is probably explained in the intro. section.........but I am special and......well slow........ :mellow:

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Insomnia.  Raging headache.

 

I will live through today bedridden and up and down as I can manage.  Neighbor angel coming this am to get me some supplies.  Food that needs no dishes nor clean up.  Cigarettes.  Melatonin that usually works.

 

I don't know........much about anything anymore.  I should probably stay on the Trileptal, it's a low dose anyway.  I think it helps me sleep. 

 

Go do banking now me!!!  May 2nd is pushing it.

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Okay......working on the signature part while waiting for supplies.  Lord and universe:  I thank you for my kindest of kind angel neighbor today.  Let me be patient and kind and get through this all with dignity.  Gonna go for the Pedialyte and Instant Breakfast when she returns and hopefully sleep.

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L-methylfolate can be activating. What is your daily symptom pattern relative to when you take your drugs?

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I don't know but I can tell you about today so far.

 

Yesterday after the insomnia and some neighbor angels getting me supplies and then mowing my lawn my perception shifted.  I was happy and laughing.  Physically I felt like a bobble head is the best way to describe it.

 

Today about 10am I took the trileptal and L-methylfolate and D3.  I think I was already up for a few hours by then.  Yup, I was.......I got a few bills paid......finally!  By eleven just felt empty, tired........so I laid down.  Up again......huge feeling of dread and disgust and overwhelm.  Have had a banana, mocha coffee, and am now eating a PB and J.  I just really want to get cleaned up......I mean me......it has been days in my robe and some outfit underneath.  Brush my teeth.  Try and do my hair and look presentable.  So hard though......when I catch a glimpse in a mirror........so pale.  And my weight had been dropping.  And I have just a couple large piles of laundry and will get depressed about the lack of choices.  And then the time just keeps marching by.  I mean it has been six weeks now that I have been so non-functional.  Not sure I am even ready to begin again.......somewhere.......anywhere........my fear in starting is huge......as it quickly becomes too much when I just look around.

 

I keep trying to read for ideas......and it just gets more confusing.  I know it is beautiful out and I so miss the old me.  The tears have started before I came on.

 

I probably will just take 500 of the L-methyl sometime soon instead of the 1000.  I toy with the idea of taking 2.5 of Adderal but don't want to.......but just to see.  Anyway......no peace of mind at the moment.

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Me cat is very broken.

 

Took a dose of 300mg. Trileptal to get some sleep.

 

Up way too soon.

 

Afraid the crisis line is going to send someone to check on me......

 

It was bad tonight.

 

Crying, pacing, clutching pillow, darn it God.......just give me a break.

 

I don't want to go to the hospital.

 

But this is so hard to take.

 

Took a bath.

 

Took a propranolol.

 

Doing okay in the wee hours.

 

No one ever died from insomnia.

 

I can eat enough.

 

Drink enough.

 

Maybe even venture out this week.

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Hi manymoredays , I'm so sorry things are so tough for you at the moment.

 

Do you think things are worse since stopping the adderal?

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

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Possibly things are harder, not sure......... 

 

I am pretty sure that my stress response is like ultra magnified and now 2 recent stressors.  Not sure but I may have to put my "rescued" cat down due to some injuries he sustained.  Bob Marley is his name........and will be singing "no woman, no cry".  Not sure what happened.....but he has basically crawled off and is dealing with his injuries the way cats do.......bless him.  I can't afford an expensive vet and the shelter will take him for $50.00.

 

It's just that if at all possible I don't want to be on a controlled substance and it really was amping up my stress level and all the body and mind stuff that goes with that.

 

Thanks for posting.  Looks like you have been at this a long time too.  Hang in.......hang on........life will improve!!

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Oh, I am so sorry about your cat friend.

 

Do you take your drugs at the same time each day? When do you take them, and at what dosages?

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testing....

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Yes.....me too.  He was kind of a rescued cat just like my other one.  Pretty badly injured.....car? I don't think a critter or cat fight as no bleeding.  I just couldn't afford another vet bill so he is gone......animal shelter....$50.  Had help getting him there.  And he was a rascal.....mouser, birder, fighter with a strange personality to match mine....lol.  Bob Marley cat RIP....."no woman, no cry"  of course I did though and probably will some more.  He was young and a pain but........well......might as well have something else to grieve while the erratic emotions continue.

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My current plan for meds. and supplements"

 

AM---Vit C, D3--5,0000mcg. I think.  L-methylfolate-1000mcg. or mg.

 

PM, bedtime-  Trileptal 150-300mg.  Acyclovir-200mg.  Vit. C.  B12, and melatonin---3mg. as well as my bioidentical hormones with a touch of DHEA.  Last 3 are sublingual....dissolve under the tongue.

 

prn.....will use B12 or propranolol 5mg. if too, too worked up.

 

Suggestions welcome.  I do the magnesium(epsom salts) in bath......can't tolerate the supplements orally.  Nor have I ever found a Omega 3 that I can tolerate real well......fish farts.  I am thinking maybe some Taurine?? 

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Freaked out last night and the trileptal did bring me down.  Pacing, clutching pillow, wanting to scream....well did a little.  Stress.  Faulty emotional regulation.  Lotta stuff on my mind.....obsessional thinking often about it all.  Home repairs, job, blah, blah, blah and then the cat......missing old Bob Marley.  He was just a kid really.

 

Sorry for the multiple posts but if I write a long one......seems I lose it.....the post....lol.

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Oh and I mean the real grief comes......once in awhile still.  Did I mention my "go to guy" suicided last May?  For the Love of Scott.......darn it.  So kind of a gruesome anniversary time here.  I really wanted to sue AstroZeneca......he was on Cymbalta and then not and then not disclosing anymore what he was taking.  Anyway May 13th......coming on up.  I know though.....I know he is at peace finally.  And I am certain I will not take my own life......ever......sheesh......I have a son.  I will go to the nursing home or state hospital bravely and with dignity if it all falls down financially and emotionally.  Right?!  Working on my Karma or something now......upbeat and positive.....springtime......

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9 am this morning for what I listed above.  By 11am I felt spent so back to bed until 12:30 or so.

 

Last night I don't remember for sure but I think around 10 or 10:30 and then did 150 of the trileptal and during a night awakening the other 150.

 

I possibly slept better.....not the insomnia of the previous night and now, right now......just a bit more like myself.

 

I did see something on the MTHFR(hope I got that right) genetic glitch.  I believe mine was a type 6.  I have the results somewhere.  Anything on this......as far as treatment goes?  I definitely think the stuff that my doctor supplies is better than what I got at Good Earth.  He was out.  It finally came in though and I can resume what I had been on after friday.  I am sure hoping that helps.  He said a month ago that if after a week and 1/2 or so it did he can try and hook me up so I can get it on my own from the supplier.  I am pretty sure he know somewhat of just how awful this suffering can be.  Later......I am kind of hoping that I don't forget.......just because maybe it will help someone else........it does seem that the mind will wipe out the worst after to some extent.  Not in complete hell today so thankful for that.

 

Still off the Adderal and still hoping to get to 3 weeks before I even consider perhaps adding it back.

 

No 2 days are alike.  Happier after the couple of insomnia nights I have had but also then have to deal with the scattering of thoughts.

 

Weird and sad without the presence of Bob Marley cat........and questioning my decision but........nothing to be done on that.

 

Doing a sudoku.  Then hopefully can clean up and go get my hair done with help........you know that always helps or has throughout the years.  And going to try to eat what I can throughout the day.

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How long have you been taking Acyclovir?
 
You might have withdrawal symptoms from suddenly quitting Adderal.
 
What kind of MTHFR-related symptoms do you have? Do the L-methylfolate and B12 help? How often do you take B12? What kind of effect does it have on you?

 

It might be a good idea for you to stay steady on your drugs now for a while.

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Several years on the Acyclovir.

 

Yup.

 

I don't know on the MTHFR symptoms.  I don't know what the symptoms are.  My heart is okay.  Have always had depressive symptoms(if that even relates to it, since teens.....alot of flucuation with menses but that's thankfully over).  I thought the L-methylfolate helped cognitively for awhile.  I usually just take the B12 at beditime and for anxiety.....not often.  Little bit of calming from B12.

 

Yup.

 

And am thinking if after as long as I can possible stand it......what now is like......I could go liquid with the amphetamine and slow wean.  I don't know......6 or 7 weeks now.....even before coming off the amphetamine, only 2 weeks on Saturday since coming off........I have to at least function pretty soon to get to my own appts. and remain independant.......take care of house, yard, and all these pesky things of living.

 

Missed hair appt.  Doesn't matter.  Thankful for the rain today and peace and quiet.  Did a webinar.....sort of......listened.......and a sudoku.  Ate.

 

Thanks again Alto.  Do you ever share your story?  No pressure.....it's cool if you don't. 

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A very tiny bit of the Adderal may take the edge off withdrawal symptoms. See Tips for tapering off Adderall for titration suggestions.

 

Do you have Adderall tablets?

 

Do you have company nearby or someone to talk to? It seems you are going through a difficult time.

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Yup.  I took a crumb today of the Adderal.  Maybe another at one pm or so.   Short acting tablets.  The rest, mixing, syringes, etc. is far too much for now.

 

I talk once in awhile on the phone.......daily calls with a friend.......don't know what to ask for or prioritize and often the tears start.  Maybe a stop in by son today.  Hanging in as best I can....... occasional moments of hope or clarity......they don't last long enough to do much more with self care.  I find stuff to read on the internet.  I watched tv the other day.  Back to main goal.......no psychiatric hospitalization.

 

Very difficult.  My weight is dropping......? if hair is falling out when I washed it last night.  Not tolerating much food......upset stomach or further wipe out mentally. 

 

A couple more bills to take care of.  Nothing is easy these days.  More out of bed than in I think.....not sure.

 

Thank you.

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I don't know.  Seems like I am still getting over the crabby, hate the world, and everybody from yesterday. 

 

Hard to shift it.  Headache to boot.  My nerve endings in my upper back were on fire.......I guess it's nice that that alternates with headaches, wouldn't want more than I can handle all in one day. 

 

Not real good company as I tend to be all critical and want to swear all the time like a sailor.  I mean I still know the inner me and "that" is not it. 

 

So......crumbs of adderal or not today?  That is the question.  I feel like going to some upscale substance abuse treatment center........ha ha ha........like that is affordable?  Still have supplies........so will lie low.  Most attempts at communication eventually piss me off.  So.........will just read...........this stuff fascinates me.

 

Thankful for an almost wintery, rainy day.........

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Try to take crumbs of Adderall in a regular way -- same size crumbs at same times each day.

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Alto will tell you if this is a bad idea, but you might try stopping your supplements for a bit. I tolerated a fourth of a tablet of methyl folate, but got really sick when I increased the dose to a half tablet. I have been remembering that as I think I have recently made myself ill again with too many greens and legumes (both rich in folate). Last round actually took quite a long time to recover from.

 

I had a random B12 and it was off scale, seems that is not uncommon in people with CFS-ish symptoms.

 

I am just throwing random possibilities out there as I am so sorry you are having such a hard time.

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Yup and yup.

 

I am thinking that while I have a bit of oompf I will make a chart and and stick to it........some minimal guidelines.  Go back over some of these suggestions and actually do them.

 

CFS= chronic fatigue type symptoms??  There are so many abbreviations but I figure that is what you meant.  For me in the past......these neck and upperback pains always improve as soon as I get swimming/sauna and just about any kind of exercise so hoping that is the same.  Epsom salt baths help too.

 

Walsh protocol?

 

Oxazepam?

 

Tolerating B12 okay and actually have been cutting down on L-methyl a bit........just a 1/2 dose maybe 3 times a day.  Crazy world......it seems like my Dr. has run off with my usual L-methyl(maybe he needed them for himself?) and I just don't care.  The Good Earth stuff just must be comparable.  Also off my hormones due to his inability to f/u on a fax request..........funny when our Dr.'s become unreliable and inconsistent........maybe there is some meaning in all this that will be healing.  I mean......I can't control anybody else really........these things happen........practice some kind of communication skill with him without too many barbs........will that make me a better person?  Probably.

 

Unfortunately or fortunately my big event today may be my blender concoction.......usually involves about 5 fruits and veggies in some form.  So I will see how that goes..........it sure has worked well for me in the past.  Throw in some yogurt and protein powder too.

 

Kind of have to find that happy medium between angry at everybody else vs. angry at myself and disgusted........

 

Anyhoo.......feeling a bit high with the amphetamine salt boost........surely needed.

 

Thanks for comments..........

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Well on Adderal x3days.  Off Trileptal.....Oxy carbazapine......today.  We'll see......  I am pretty headstrong when it comes to decisions and it was very important to me to be off at least one of these meds. started 6 mos. ago. 

 

Did crumbs every 4 hours......9am 1pm 4pm.......and managed to get up, stay up, not cry all day nor get lost in all the past and future tripping so that's a coup of some kind.  I got some equipment and am going to have to try to liquify my doses to be more exact........unfortunately seemed to need a total of about 5mg., which is low but still......  I have 10's and 5's but they are all somewhat halved or quartered inexactly so I expect this will be interesting.  Pfffft.......feel like a total substance abuser/addict but I am.  As well as aware of so much more as far as the aftermath of Lexapro. 

 

Got out!!!!!  In my car and all the way to the next town over.  Discovered a Monday evening/night happening.......food and music right here in my town.  Music doesn't start until Memorial day but I will remember to take a walk with some cash every Monday night now.

 

Listened to meditative self affirmations the entire morning and early afternoon which helped tremendously in getting out of my usual thought tirade.  What to expect from my doctor......pdoc specifically was great.  I don't go until the end of the mos. and at which time I can get a refill with more exact pills.  But I may have to watch that video daily to prepare.  

 

  Did water therapy twice.......shower AND bath with hopes of getting to my gym place with pool and sauna maybe later this week.  AND have got to......HAVE to get out in nature especially by the streams and walk........walk my way to wellness and freedom.....

 

Any comments on protein powder......the whey isolate kind?  Helpful for addicts and withdrawlers?

 

Oh.....in afternoon I could hold a few yoga poses.  Less of a jelly fish.  Felt good......

 

Out of house did wonders though........it is still a beautiful world........I noticed a lot.

 

Most definately will get my medication solution mixed up tonight for tomorrow.  Gonna a try a bit of Mg. Citrate soon too.

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Try to keep a record of exactly how much adderral you're taking.  

You want to take the same dose at the same time each day.

It takes about 4 days to get to a steady state in your blood stream , and the lower dose you can stabilize on the better.

 

Before you stopped were you having just one daily dose?

 

I read in post 3 that you thought this may last for 3 weeks.  

It may in fact continue much longer than that (sorry to have to say) , months even ,so don't be worried if it seems to be

taking a long time to settle.  Just take one day at a time.

 

The fact that you haven't been pacing , clutching a pillow and crying is a good sign.

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