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☼ manymoretodays: off many years of many medications


manymoretodays

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Hi mmt.  Thinking of you today. 

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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Thanks Marsha.  Hold steady.

 

Best,

mmt

 

 

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Hi mmt.  Holding with all my might. Thinking of you today.  

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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Good job then with the holding.  I got on out in the sunshine for an hour or so today.  Have left dishes in the sink for ? a week or so.........horrible smell.......just horrible........so working on that.  I must be healing fiercely now........is a good way to look at it, for me.  Got the trash out too yesterday and back in today which included cleaning the cat box.  Getting over my lost trip and all I think.  Now to get back to good healthy routine and optimism. 

 

Go ahead and msg. me Marsha if you want to just talk and tell me how life is going and all.   Or just here is fine too.  I am once again having some difficulty with the site too........non specific......... and I am kind of a disorganized mess to boot.  My perception is skewed  Better though.......I mean overall.........all things considered.  Better.  I mean I can't advise you on much at all but we can do the pen pal thing when possible.

 

((((((Marsha)))))))  Thinking of you too.

 

Best,

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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.......and walked!!!!!!  :D:D

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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No worries mmt.  :)

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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So........had I been positioned just a tad differently yesterday I would have been hit head on while driving.  I witnessed this accident right in front of me.  And then after hearing some of the other drivers/witnesses to what happened I felt somewhat awestruck. 

 

So now........I have some of that universal good fortune going for me.........and it was needed.  Casper.  Yay!  I mean I always have had such good fortune........just needed the reminder.

 

Okay.......other than that I am still sluggish and slow and some might even call it depressed.  Feet and hands falling asleep again......no tingles or pain though.  Probably the result of inactivity.   The stress of good things too can set one back I have learned.  All the more reason to work hard at recovery/healing, Love, Peace, and growth.

 

I just needed to be positive.

 

Thanks.

 

manymoretodays

 

Aaaackkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!  Why couldn't I go on my trip/vacation!!!!!!!!  nothing venturednothinggained.......:blink:

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Kind of an interesting shift so far after the partial solar eclipse in my area of North America.  I happened to be on the phone when it occurred(partial only) and inside.  The light outside really changed quite a bit and I have to admit I have been feeling pretty well since that time.  Well.......well in a more decisive way again I think........something like that.    I wasn't even sure exactly the time frame when it would occur here but later checked with the teenage neighbor and yes, indeed...........it was confirmed........it happened during that time frame when I was on the phone and not only noticed the light shift but felt something pretty phenomenal.

 

I would be most interested to hear of others experiences as well, here in North America.

 

I do so love the natural phenomenon's of this universe.

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Oh my.......RIP so many lost.  Thankyou nz for keeping the roster.

 

Something to be said for all my experiences and all my loved ones support.  SA included.  Something along the lines of gratitude.  We lost another one in the local AA sector as well.  I give hugs, hold little ones, drive my car, go to meetings, eat, sleep, minimal stress, some laughs, some tears, some reading, some listening.........it's all good enough.

 

To health.  To Love and all my relationships.  To the peace inside that passes all understanding.  To all our continued growth and learning and actions.  To Life in other words.......

 

mmt

 

 

 

 

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Hi ManyMoreTodays. Interesting times. It sounds like someone was truly looking out for you in regard to the accident. That sounds scary and I'm glad you're ok and continuing to do well. Sending much love ...    

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Oh AliG.......(((())))))........much Love back at you!

 

What a fine, fine grateful mess I still be.......in recovery/healing........and frankly.........a success!!!  (AA speak I guess........it keeps me going strong)  Right where I am supposed to be.  So glad to be forever free of the psych drugs and all else.  I'm not sure what I am presently morphing into but I trust it is all good enough.  A few symptoms I suppose of withdrawal, not even sure anymore..........these too will pass as they always have......nothing chronic here.  I mean I just cannot dwell on it anymore.   I am though......drinking a bit too much coffee and smoking close to a pack.......ugh...........I feel lost once again as far as how to fit in withdrawal land here so just blurt every now and then........I expect I'll get back to it........just can't multitask worth beans so have to ride above it.......change from the inside......look and find all the silver linings.

 

So nice of you to stop on in.  :)  Many thanks from me, mmt.

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Oh and finally got my glasses ordered.  Progressive lens so both reading glasses and for my new farsighted ness.........so........if you want your fortune told you better ask me before correction.  And then the antiglare glass in them........hopeful that will really help with night driving and maybe a little with computer use.  I still have to get into Voc Rehab and make a plan so "might" get the computer glasses too.  No, no paid work yet........and honestly........I keep changing my mind as to what would be best fit for me........PT only keep in mind.

 

Mostly over the vanity of having to wear them(it'll be cool to be kind of nerdy looking) and just hope I adjust to them(it may take a couple weeks).  Maybe down the line I can do contacts or something too.  Speaking of vanity I got my hair trimmed and colored and only a little streaked blondish now........it surprised me how it came out.  Alas, she said it was balancing.  I may be moving out of my hippy look.......hmmmm.......not sure. 

 

No other problems noted with that exam so yeah!!!!  Wish me luck.

 

Happy long weekend USAers.  Hope it's all peaceful.

 

mmt

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Hi mmt. Miss you. Wish I was psych drug free too.

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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Hi Marsha!  Miss you too.  I'm here.  Off and on.  Doing well enough.

 

You are doing fine too.  Just a day at a time.  You will get there.  You've made progress and that is the important thing........... and minimized harm to your nervous system.   

 

Hopefully a long one soon.  I am just still a teeny bit less focused and not real creative with words for a bit..........  I think it'll come back soon........it always does.

 

Thanks for popping on in.  :)

 

L,P, R/H, and growth as always,

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • 3 weeks later...
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On 9/25/2017 at 9:35 AM, Bellatrix said:

Fava definitely seems to be the one publishing the most on this. Here are the ones I found. (I'll try to make a prettier post later, hard to do on my mobile). 

 

New Classification of Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor Withdrawal

 

Chouinard G.a, b  · Chouinard V.-A.c 

 
Psychother Psychosom 2015;84:63-71



https://www.karger.com/Article/FullText/371865

 

Withdrawal Symptoms after Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor Discontinuation: A Systematic Review.

Fava GA, et al. Psychother Psychosom. 2015.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/25721705/

 

Long-term antidepressant use: patient perspectives of benefits and adverse effects

Claire Cartwright, Kerry Gibson, [...], and Tamsin Dehar

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4970636/

 

 

 

 

I just quoted this to my introduction here for ease of future access.  Thank you Bellatrix very much for posting!!

 

I wish they had mentioned more than just CBT and the addition of further psycho drugs/ meds for treatment of the persistent protracted withdrawal.  Movement therapies and exercise, water therapy(swimming especially for me), relationships, spirituality, quality individualized nutrition,  meditative retreats etc.  The few case studies included were pretty bleak as they used klonopin(a benzo) and AD's for prolonged periods.   Interesting that they mentioned the use of anticonvulsants to help in one article........makes me wonder if a very mini dose of Trileptal might help me with my current struggle...........  However, I do think I will try and up the rest of my tools before that as I remain hopeful and optimistic.......and have not been as diligent and disciplined as I need to be.

 

The articles were good though as far as possibly changing prescribing practices and leading to more full and honest disclosure of the pluses and minuses of AD's.  Something most of us never got.  I had to laugh as I just vaguely recall "pretreatment/predrugging" symptoms and they did talk about worsening from baseline from the drugs, which was what happened to me over and over again.  So it's good........they are publishing stuff like this.  I hope all prescribers are doing their reading!

 

Anyway........I'd say I'm in a wave except that I am almost 3 years out from the Lexapro so I don't think waves apply anymore.  It may be possibly a wave from the last of the Trileptal/oxcarbazepine(almost 10 mos. off and the only drug I really tapered)??  Current symptoms of tardive dysphoria, improving agoraphobia and general anxiety/fears,  a few more body aches and pains than usual(probably due to decreased movement therapy and exercise me thinks), and fatigue( low motivation included),  obsessing on the past and future kind of negatively too.....urgh.........seems I got hit a bit harder with the onset of fall, with the symptoms so maybe just a seasonal shift.  Focus and concentration improving.  Soooo........a lot of optimism..........I mean do I have a choice????!!  Me.......with the nearly 3 decades of the drugs, and lot's of switches around for awhile............I can just imagine the state of my receptor reorganization...........yowser!!!!!  :huh::o;)B)  It's cool........lol.  This little miracle, me, is going to be fine!

 

On another note and just for update purposes for myself.  I haven't adjusted to my new glasses yet.........I just did a day here and there(progressive lenses and they need a good 2 week consistency to adjust to them) and it seems that the sensory change was just too much for now.  I forget the term for the sensory overload thing.........sound especially but the visual is a little tough too.   I'll keep trying though.  I held off on going to Vocational Rehab as scheduled a couple weeks ago.........hoping to go if I am up to it and at least do an online course in something or other(and I do need their $$$ help.......thankful I qualify for that).  It will be good for my brain.   So no real earned income yet.  Stressed of course on my not receiving alimony anymore yet grateful for a bit in savings and also my IRA sooooooo..........I'll be fine............my usual sunny acceptance of that turned to that kind of fear.........which for me then leads to flight from doing anything productive to bring in my own income.  I think that is something I can work on..........my pattern of flight and then avoidance and then go back to old patterns, etc.  I can change!  I've been doing a little isolating too..........ugh............can do better.

 

Betsey Ross cat is a little troubled too per usual due to my state.  We had some wet snow this week and some sticking up in the mountains!  Seems early.  No hurricanes, floods, or further wildfires at least.  I just feel like I missed the end of summer and am a bit miffed about that........so be it.........onward and upward.  Dear Son/Sun is okay.......applied for another job but I don't think he got it and has stayed out of any further trouble since his DUI..........I'm just wishing he would face the music now and contact his parole officer and get it done and over with, the fines, whatever.........and go to school again or something............. I remain patient, loving Mom though.............grateful for my small family and a couple of good supports/friends at this point.  Sure miss those at a distance though and kind of growing weary of living here, in this home again, with all it's responsibilities and upkeep.  Wish I was braver and more courageous sometimes.  Well I am.......it's just not always sustained.  Good old paradise.  :blink::)

 

Love, peace, recovery/healing, and growth,

 

manymoretodays

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Well the good news is that today has found me reading about nutritional strategies.............finally.  I'm not sure what approach I'm going to go with.........maybe something combined anti inflammatory and more raw foods.  Somewhere along the way of reading(and it does go slowly......the reading,comprehension) I started feeling some real hope again.  I was reading hard copy books that I had collected these past few years.........I mean I am always going to prefer that I think, but I do still know I have to get more technologically inclined.

 

Anyway........my diet has been crappy lately.........and..........I think that has been a huge factor in me getting on back to withdrawal normal.  Some days I have even skipped my morning blender concoction.  Wow!

 

Nice fall weather now and I am once again seeing the beauty of it all.........this all...........and feeling like the right things(and people) will come to me once again to guide me gently and lovingly along.

 

Going to force my way on out of the homestead now.  Just wanted to note a bit more positive energy and I had one good day this week so far.  Yay.

 

Love, healing/recovery, peace, and growth(neuroplasticity) at any age............faith and hope in change

 

manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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13 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Well the good news is that today has found me reading about nutritional strategies.............finally.  I'm not sure what approach I'm going to go with.........maybe something combined anti inflammatory and more raw foods.  Somewhere along the way of reading(and it does go slowly......the reading,comprehension) I started feeling some real hope again.  I was reading hard copy books that I had collected these past few years.........I mean I am always going to prefer that I think, but I do still know I have to get more technologically inclined.

 

Anyway........my diet has been crappy lately.........and..........I think that has been a huge factor in me getting on back to withdrawal normal.  Some days I have even skipped my morning blender concoction.  Wow!

 

Nice fall weather now and I am once again seeing the beauty of it all.........this all...........and feeling like the right things(and people) will come to me once again to guide me gently and lovingly along.

 

Going to force my way on out of the homestead now.  Just wanted to note a bit more positive energy and I had one good day this week so far.  Yay.

 

Love, healing/recovery, peace, and growth(neuroplasticity) at any age............faith and hope in change

 

manymoretodays

Hi mmt.  Yay, a good day. Good for you. Thinking of you often. Don't post positive comments so well though. But I'll keep at it. May you have love peace healing and a blender concoction tomorrow. Oh, I am a firm believer in neuroplasicity, yes at 64 and beyond.

I am not a medical professional. My comments and posts are based on personal experiences. Please consult appropriate medical professionals for advice. 

I was started on psych drugs back in the late 80's. You name it. I probably was on it. Tapered off final cocktail 2013-2019. For Hashimotos and high blood pressure I take Levothyroxine. Liothyronine. Spironolactone. Hydrochlorothiazide. Losartan. B12 hydroxy. Fish oil w/D3. Bee pollen. Magnesium Glycinate.

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Still feeling rather stuck.  I do think some of it is situational so that's good, although I am not in good practice with how to deal.  It also seems that I have pretty much pulled out of just about everything I WAS feeling passionate about........which unfortunately has left me without much passion for anything.  Doing a lot of isolating still.........so will try hard to get on out there and connect with others as well as get some more physical motion in.  Residual depression due to not knowing where else to go mentally I think.  A lot of fears going forward in any way.......yet not a whole lot of physical stuff going on with the fears.  So lost in my head.  Fatigue.  Feel like a different person somehow........I just don't even see myself the same.

 

This too will pass I assume.  Tough times though.

 

Prayers and positive intentions please and will send them on outward as well for all of you.  Not at all ready for winter as I had hoped to be.

 

Best,

mmt

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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dear many,

 

feeling a lot of the same things as you...maybe part of it is getting older?...IDK.

yeah,lost in my head,don't see myself the same...it's scary.

 

hope we can get to a better place soon.

not lookingforward to winter either....ugh.

 

sending positive thoughts,healing,love,hugs.....ds

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

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Good to hear from you dire and thank you so much for your kind words. 

 

Hanging on the best I can.  It so feels like the beginning again..........like when I first got here.  So very slow to do anything.......never mind trust my intuition and KNOW what to eat, etc.  My energy is totally zapped as is my cognition.  Well not totally on the cognition.......I can read books and do crossword puzzles and such.   Fatigue.  And when I get some good lengthy sleep intervals when I wake up I feel like lead.  Constantly trying to shift my thinking to hope and health again.  Sometimes I feel like I must be dying now.......very scary.....yet hopefully I do my best to believe this very quiet time must be exactly what my mind/body spirit needs right now.  Baby steps back again I pray.  It's like I can't remember how to do some very basic stuff.   Hoping that somehow I am right where I am supposed to be now..........a lesson?  IDK.  Faith.  We are young in spirit.

 

Today........just working on better food intake at more regular intervals.  A friend came by.  Good enough.

 

positive thoughts, healing, love, and hugs accepted and sent right on back to you.

 

Best,

manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Boo!

 

Okay.......I AM doing okay.......feeling better........very grateful.  Trying not to eat the rest of the Halloween candy by myself.......I don't think many more kids will come and my light goes off at 9pm.

 

What helped?  Well I have gotten out the past couple of days now and quit schlepping on showering and hygiene and healthy or at least better eating.  Quit the pity party for myself essentially.  Oh.......relationships, real life.  With limits and bbbbbahbahboundaries(but not walls).  Starting to see the rainbows again instead of just the rain.   Colorful out there too still.  People in costumes today were smile inducing.

 

Onward.....kapowie.........exercise, more AA mtgs(they help.....really.......alot of useful stuff and friendly people for us live-aloner types.....and I think I am one, for sure, at heart and by history going way back......the personality type).  Eventually.......yah......sure........hope, hope.......PT work and either home renovation or downsizing movement.   I need to make decisions on my IRA pay out one of these days........hopefully after the new year(taxes you know).   Or hopefully just getting to go see Mum again either before or at her 90th.......woohoo.........Mum is going to be 90!!!!!  The last of her mohecians and I am thrilled.  Yikes.....not sure if I'll get back to any of those committees and things I used to do.  Probably.  Kind of hope so.  Don't know.  A day at a time sure helps.

 

Bills paid.  Laundry pile decreasing.  Dishes done.  It's my life and it's a good enough one.

 

Anyway......just had to post.  Sugar rush.

 

Happy Halloween!

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Okay.  One walk......20 minutes, out in sunshine.  Monday and Tuesday full hygiene and out and about small scale.  Weds. isolated again.........and no that's not working for me at all.

 

Happily gave out Halloween candy.  Have gone to 2 AA meetings as I don't have much else going in the way of therapy, stuff to do, etc.  And do so want to continue with the program for life.  Yes......I still know that the medication/drug dependency is different from alcoholism/addiction.  So many there a bit like me though and some not but I'll stay put.  Many built in opportunities for giving getting outside of oneself, service.......spiritual growth, etc.   I get outside of myself and man oh man everything else just becomes easier vs. dwelling and over analyzing and stuck in me, me, why me.  Lesson learned.

 

Oh......biggie........dear Sun/son lost his job this week.  I've stayed optimistic in my support and responses and remain hopeful for him as well as I and our relationship going forward.  Very thankful that he is close by with his Dad, my ex.

 

Slow and steady.  Going to kick that last wave to the curb.  Learn better coping, self care, etc.  It was about 3 mos. with a peak in October really........I could and will manage better next time around.

 

Celebrating quietly 3 years off Lexapro(unfortunately CT from 5mg. to 3 mg. and then just off during my last voluntary psych hospitalization), 2 years 4 mos. off low dose Adderal and around 10 mos. off my last psycho med. Trileptal/Oxcarbazapine.  So I am kind of proud of all that but not recommending anybody do it how I did.

 

I'm pretty sane........not sure if I am any real success story.........yet...........but doing okay.

 

Love, peace, recovery/healing, and above all.........growth at any age!

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Adjusting to time change.  Out each day.  Eating good enough.  Scrambled eggs brain yet persevering.  Very, very difficult to multitask in any way.  Not manic, not "real" panic attacks.   Not dementia.  I really have to work at staying in the moment and staying with anything task wise from start to finish.  Part acts come to mind and that helps.........to just do small pieces of the whole at a time.   Sat in a meditation group for 20 min. today so that was good.   Sleep is usually good enough.........sometimes maybe getting too much sleep.

 

Still not back to the comfort of ? June yet doing okay........feeling positive.   Making progress.   Getting to meetings........giving rides........talking to others.  Official new woman sponsor and doing what she asks.  Ending the isolation at home......so yay!  Reading, some t.v. and movies.  Still just that one walk this past week but will get there I believe.........back to the pool and yoga and just more outside healing time too.  No kitchen dancing yet either........oh, those were the days.........and I will keep trying.  At this point can only do music while driving if I have no passenger.  And haven't really tried listening to music again much at home.........preferring quiet.  What's up with this?

 

So.......still working at leveling out a bit.......the busy mind thing.

 

Good enough.  A day at a time.

 

Love, peace, recovery/healing, and growth baby growth!

 

mmt

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Hi ManyMoreTodays. You're sounding a little better and much more positive.That's so good to see. You will definitely have to crank the music up and get back to that" kitchen dancing"!  :)

 

I find that I have to work on staying in the moment too but I think that's probably a universal thing, particularly in these times ...  Maybe, we have to work just that little bit harder at it but It seems to be a common theme, today. Everyone seems to struggle with this due to the whole " busyness" factor. Your meditation should help with that - well done. It's something I struggle with although I like " walking meditation". I find it so much easier.

 

Just wanted to touch base and wish you continued healing and of course - growth!

(( hugs))

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Hi AliG.  Okay........good.  I have been fairly miserable and today not so good but am working at it all.  So glad I "sound" better.  I really have to work for the positive thoughts and optimism sometimes now.  I think I'm turning the corner though.

 

This is different, that's for sure...........not all roses........yet.

 

Faith, love, healing, and definitely.........GROWTH!

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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A little bit of GER at night.........improving with the recent decrease again of caffeine and cigarettes. 

 

That is one of the problems of AA as my main "go out to" place for community, spirituality, and the like.   Perhaps for service I will set up and stock a herbal tea stand for certain meetings.

 

Feeling more like myself.  Yay!

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

https://beyondmeds.com/2017/11/06/site-retired-ive-retired/

 

I think I just self taught how to do a link!!!!!  Huge.  Success!! 

 

A link to a fine now retired site........as far as retired from further postings by the site originator who asks for anonymity at this time.   Many writings there for inspiration and thought gathering for all of us striving to better manage our health, thinking, balance, and connection as humans in this world together. 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Man........I am slow in the morning and squirrel brained.  Finish the bills.  Try for a more meditative state.

 

I like my new sponsor in AA.  She is definitely not going to send me on off for medication, has had her own experiences with them.......so that's great.  Will rework all the steps with her and a new friend too!   Went to a nice women's meeting yesterday too.  I may have to move on out of the AA central meetings.........not sure yet.........they are like the ICU of AA though, not kidding........so many newcomers or recent relapse's and those from the local public mental health system........yet intermingled with some really good people and old timers..........so I don't know.

 

I'll get on back to those committee meetings next month in the bigger city as well.  Behavioral health planning committee and commission.........learning and input I guess.

 

A little bit of a cold.  So will try the Ionic Colloidal Silver.

 

Progressing.

 

Gratitude month.

 

mmt.

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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And threw away the high potency liquid B vitamins.  I took the full dose today and am still spinning just a bit.   I could barely connect the dots so to speak as well as a fair amount of emotionality/neuroemotions.   It wasn't fun.

 

Bathed, dressed, ate fair, took Sun to market and back.   He passed up a "could walk to work" job and is hell bent on moving to the City............makes me worried.   To a mtg.  Talked to a few safe people.  Got an invite for Gratitude day from one of the outlaws.........Yay!!! and will do some service as well.

 

Oh.......bills all paid.  House and grounds still a bit disheveled.  Oh well.  I probably should ask for help instead of trying to do it all myself.

 

Phhhew.  Progress.  Coping.  Connection.

 

manymoretodays..........bettah ones soon enough........

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Ahhhh........much better........and a good start to the week.  I like Mondays again.  I should be able to accomplish a lot this week.  So very much to be grateful for. 

 

Oh.....and found a record where I WAS on 20mg. Lexapro, probably briefly.........I never could tolerate the higher doses of some of the medications,  many that I could barely tolerate the lower doses of yet stupidly stayed on, was a good compliant guinea pig.  Perhaps I will title my success story  "from compliant guinea pig to..........hmmmm.........human being". 

 

Much gratitude.  No complaints.  I am right where I am supposed to be.

 

Love, peace, healing/"in recovery", and growth at any age.......

 

manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Once upon a time in the Paradise, land of mountains/desert and Zion, there lived a woman who, at least today, appreciates her journey.  And today she did receive a medal of sorts at her sometimes favorite, but not always, AA mtg.  Her 18 mos. chip!!!!  She had gotten kind of sick of being sick all the time and getting sicker, from her once highly esteemed Gods and Godesses of psychiatry, psychology, social work, therapy, (CBT, DBT, MIT(;)), EMDR, et al nauseatum), hospitalizations,  over analysis, and being a compliant guinea pig to their many potions of medicine.   Labeling over listening.  Chemical incarceration she said.  It had to end.  It has.  Hence the medal!!!!

 

(phone break)

 

Some youth showed up today too and in 20min. raked and bagged many many leaves.  Elves.  Love them.  Helpers.  Christmas has arrived before gratitude day!  I didn't even ask.  Paradise.  Zion.  Awesome place to heal.

 

(to be continued)

 

manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Ugh and the stress of "difficult" people.  Especially text only communicators.  Another ugh.  And it's hard being in AA sometimes.........all the personalities, accepting, no judgement, etc.  Staying serene among sometimes not so serene newbies or just not program practicing people.  Just like real life.  I wish I had more of it.  Real life outside of AA.  Oh well.    Anyway.......I got real thrown into resentments and acting childish, etc. with another woman.......via text yesterday.  I hate text anyway.  But I am in the terrible two's of maturity right now.

 

That brought up all kinds of things/symptoms that got worse.  Blurry vision and so difficult night driving.  Guilt and shame.  Low self concept/esteem.  Last night I could feel my heart palpitating and a hopefully just a mild/transient irregularity.  Weakness........just generalized in my legs and arms.  Emotionalism.  Rage.  Ugh. 

 

So I don't know.  Other service opportunities abound.  I am not the greatest person around and am still learning how to be comfortable without any dependencies or use of other substances.  It's just hard.  Sure hope I can do better and be some kind of role model some day.  State things clearly.  Do more than just AA mtgs. and rides.  I turned down a couple "meals on wheels" subbing opportunities in these past months.  Things get old.  I get bored.  I feel old and kind of done sometimes.  Has been, etc.  It passes.  Low energy and motivation though, but trudging onward. 

 

I now.......keep an open mind to the idea that I "might" try something AD wise again someday........just in case.  So I am open to it.  That's all.  Not making any appointments or planning to anytime soon.  Just stating.   Probably better that than driving to a legal state for better controlled weed, or taking a stimulant for ADD again.  I have iatrogenic ADD.  It's hard is all I am saying.  Holidays.  Less daylight.  I still struggle a lot.

 

Me boy......the Sun is good enough.  No new job yet.  No pending move.  Off to a concert yesterday.  Lord......keep him safe and please help him face "the music"(court system) soon.  I know how people react to grand kids and love them and stuff........yet, I am very thankful to have none as yet.   I like little kids in short bursts only.   Betsey Ross had her expensive vet appointment this week.   Groomed/shaved her and I need to get her some low cal cat food.   I got my car washed.  This cough/cold has been rough but I think it's on the almost 10days now to 2 weeks period.......and is improving.

 

Colder temps. and sleet/snow yesterday.  The sun beckons today.

 

Love, peace, healing/in recovery, and growth,

 

manymoretodays

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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.........and drumroll.........all bettah a few hours later.  Funny how that works sometimes.  Although I think I may wait a bit and then do an amend/forgiveness visit to her.  For myself really.  And for my own well being.

 

Best.......looking forward to turkey, turkey, turkey.........gobble gobble and some outlaw family I have not seen for quite some time. (from the longest marriage ever :blink:B))

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

.......still feeling better.  Yay!!!  Good sleep and up early reading some of the more intellectual stuff.  It's a good sign.  And just weird sometimes how I can feel my cognitive as well as perspective just shift.........slowly at first and then back to my "better, weller" self.

 

Doing Aok here in Paradise.

 

Love, peace, healing, in recovery, and continued growth,

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

........drumroll..........a really great gratitude attitude day for me today.........so enjoyed the festivities and outlaw family(only slightly removed) as my own(biological family) is all out of state.  A lovely day!  Filled with Love, laughter, food........young and old all gathered together.  Even gave the ex a nice hug and had no resentments whatsoever.  None.  The youngest nephew(age 5) looks a lot like my ex did as a young child, and also my Sun.......so that was pretty cool........indeed.  Dear Grandpa is 89 and I am so very proud of him.......he was so very generous to us back in the hey day.  My youngest sister outlaw maintains on 5mg. of Lexapro and Lamictal(unknown dose) and maybe someday........or not.........she's the mother of the 2 youngest and really needs to function now........and has had......without......a.........doubt........a more precarious journey that I.  She does okay with a great husband and other support back in NYC where they traveled from.

 

And to be back in the area I relocated to as a young woman for my first career job was.........well.........good, good, happy memories.

 

My AA family also rocks.  Did cleanup and lots of visiting.

 

Ahhhhhhhhh.........peace, love, healing/in recovery, and growth baby growth at any age......

 

manymore......todays  :DB)

 

 

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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2 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Lol.  I like AA.  I can go there and say things like I have murderous intent, and some other phrases, and they always laugh and understand.  (p.s.  I wouldn't ever even hurt a fly)

That's great .I went to a couple of AA meetings early on in my sobriety and I noticed it was a great place to vent .I never spoke myself at the time .

PB

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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