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tjdeepthinker: Hi From Cape Town, South Africa

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#37 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 21 September 2015 - 03:50 AM

Hi Fresh and Bubble,

 

Thank you for the response. It would seem I was withdrawing too much too quickly. Quite a hectic wave of two weeks, but coming out of it. As always, for me it follows my menstrual cycle, so I am optimistic for a week or two almost symptom free.

 

Just getting a response at all from someone who 'knows' was very helpful to me. I fear I may need help again at some point too. Am currently looking for a source of 2mg Pax to be able to make smaller withdrawals. Otherwise, I have researched the threads on using water to measure withdrawals and found that helpful.

 

I guess this is all trial and error. I am still getting used to the idea of being my own lab rat.

 

Will try to keep this more updated, at least once a month, for future bad times. It's just that when it goes well for a week or so I just want to forget that I am so ill, just ... pretend... for that little bit, so I stay away from this site. But when the going gets rough again, I need help.

 

Anyways,

Thanks again... Giving myself a couple of weeks to breath and heal. And yes... F**k the doctors.

 

-T


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#38 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 05 November 2015 - 06:54 AM

Note to myself...

 

Just did my forth withdrawal, my first Seroquel withdrawal since reinstating in June this year, and after a two month 'hold. Withdrawal went reasonably well.

Just for my own records... Withdrew 3mg Seroquel 1 Novermber 2015.

 

The hold helped A LOT. That was great advice.

 

Onward with life...

 

-T


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#39 Altostrata

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Posted 05 November 2015 - 01:57 PM

Very good to hear! Pay it forward in advising our other Seroquel taperers, please.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#40 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 28 December 2015 - 11:47 PM

Still going strong... Well as strong as any of us can go!! For anyone who wants to know about my journey ridding myself of Seroquel (Quetiapine), Pax (Diazepam), and Dornonoct (Alprazolam)... Feel free to inbox me, or take a look at my blog. I am not online all that often, but I will always get back to checking my messages eventually! I am no expert, but no one really is... These drugs... So much is not known about them.

 

Good luck and all the best to all of us!

 

https://tjdeepthinke...rawal-syndrome/

 

-TJ


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#41 Grassstains

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Posted 10 January 2016 - 04:07 AM

Thanks for your sharing, am planning to withdraw from Seroquel in 3 months time
Currently focusing on a gut imbalance affecting fatigue first
Knowing other people have documented their journey helps a lot xxx

#42 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 28 May 2016 - 06:20 AM

Just wanted to check in again, for my own records. 

 

I have withdrawn way more than I thought I had. It is good to see it written here. It really surprised me to come and look at my history and take note how far I have come! 

It has been two days less than a year since my big crash. I have come a long way! 

 

'Well done me.' 

 

One day I will come back here as a success story.

 

Thanks for your sharing, am planning to withdraw from Seroquel in 3 months time
Currently focusing on a gut imbalance affecting fatigue first
Knowing other people have documented their journey helps a lot xxx

To Grasstains, sorry I didn't see this until now. At least I don't think I replied. I hope your withdrawal is not going too badly! -T


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#43 Africa

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Posted 28 May 2016 - 02:51 PM

Hi tj

I just wanted to say hi and well done for coming this far.

I'm from Durban but have lived in the UK for almost 8 years now. We miss home and family terribly and would love to go back for a visit soon.

I'm still reducing my AD very slowly and have had a lot of the same physical symptoms as you.

Take care

Africa
<p>February 2009 started taking Paroxetine 10 mg everyday. Started reducing very slowly in February 2015.15 December 2015 Was on 5 mg Paroxetine 4 days a week and 7.5 mg 3 days a week. Severe withdrawal. Back to 7.5mg everyday from today 25 March 2016 starting 7.1 mg everyday (stayed on this dose for 8 weeks) 23 May 2016 starting 6.7 mg everyday (stayed on this dose for 6 weeks) 4 July 2016 starting 6.3 mg everyday (stayed on this dose for 8 weeks). 2 September 2016 starting 5.9 mg (stayed on this dose for 10 weeks) 9 November 2016 starting 5.6 mg (stayed on this dose for 8 weeks) 4 January 2017 starting 5.3 mg (stayed on this dose for 6 weeks) 20 February 2017 starting 5 mg (it's taken me 2 year to get half way!!)

#44 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 26 July 2016 - 07:38 AM

Hi Africa, 

 

Not good to hear about your being in the situation of having to withdraw! But good to hear from someone from SA! I'm really sorry to hear you are suffering. I hate to hear that about people ;(. Thank you for connecting with me -TJ

Hi tj

I just wanted to say hi and well done for coming this far.

I'm from Durban but have lived in the UK for almost 8 years now. We miss home and family terribly and would love to go back for a visit soon.

I'm still reducing my AD very slowly and have had a lot of the same physical symptoms as you.

Take care

Africa


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#45 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 26 July 2016 - 07:42 AM

I put together all my blog posts/ diary entries/ notes into a book from the worst part (first six months or so of withdrawals. I have uploaded it for free reading for anyone who is interested. The sharing helps me heal... And maybe I can help someone else by connecting. 
 
In the mean time... Still fighting. 
 
-TJ
 

I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#46 Altostrata

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Posted 26 July 2016 - 10:27 AM

Thanks, tj. How are you feeling now?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

#47 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 26 July 2016 - 10:37 PM

Thanks, tj. How are you feeling now?

A difficult question to answer. Lol. In terms of withdrawals. I have found a way to withdraw super slowly. I have learned, as I guess we all must, what the warning signs are, and I play it by ear. I am able to live a pretty full life within the restraints. Much better than this time last year!  -TJ


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#48 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 01:26 PM

I am writing this for me. I want to remind myself. I want to record this.

 

Right now I am not in a good space. I have been worse. I have been much worse. And until a day ago I was on a good track. 

 

I forgot to factor in possible life events. I guess I started getting more confident in my withdrawals. 

 

I have been doing this for what feels like forever. Three years maybe. 

 

Right now, I can't sleep. My arms are burning and I am extremely nauseous. I know that I will most likely not sleep tonight. I know that I am near a crash. 

 

I have taken my current dose of Diazepam, DOrmonoct and seroquel already, so I am writing this in one of those withdrawal/drugged states. My absolute worst. I am trying to keep the drgs down for as long as possible, because that will make tomorrow easier. But I guess nothing really makes this easier, once it has gotten started. 

 

I am hoping that I will be able to break the cycle this time by writing. I am hoping i can reason myself out of a hasty decition in a very bad state of mind to make decitions. 

 

To be continued shortly... 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#49 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 01:37 PM

(Continued)

 

I just wanted to post that first bit, so that maybe, I could imagine there was someone out there who could help me. Anyone who has been through withdrawals, will know why I did that. You just claw at straws really. You try anything. To cope. To make the pain go away. 

 

I have gone many nights without sleep before. So I know one night without sleep won't kill me. But last time I crashed, It was because of sleep. 

 

I feel like I am crashing now. I have to try and convince my bodywhat my mind already knows. What i have practiced over and over in meditation. But my body is on this loop. It seems to have a 'mind' of its own. 

 

A life event happened. My cat fell off the balcony and was in intensive care for a day and a night. She is home now. She Still might not make it. 

 

This has triggered loads of other traumas for me. 

 

And even though I last withdraw a month ago. A tiny amount even for me! The month before was a bigger amount. There was my mistake. I may not have crashed. 

 

I don't even ask how anymore. How do I cope. I just don't. When it is bad. I sit and I hope. And i pray to a god I don't relaly believe in. Like in the song. And when it is this bad.... I write. I write and I pray even harder. 

 

I have a doctor who tolerates my withdrawal and prescribes what I need. He can also admit me again if my withdrawals get to that stage where i crash. 

 

I do not waant that. But if comes again and again for me. 

 

I did not keep to the rules. I have to raise the dose a timy bit tomorrow and pray it works. 

 

Right now Iam sitting in my bedroom with my very sick cat. And I feel like pain is erupting out of my chest and my skin. I am feeling slightly sleepy, but wired wired wired. The slightly sleepy thing gives me hope. But  Icant think about hope or sleep right now.

 

The elevator in the building is makinga noise. 

 

I am typing very fast, so I keep making mistakes. But I forgive myself for those mistakes. 

 

I am so terrified I am shaking but I don't want togo there. I have to cope. I have to let my partner get rest.  Ihave to not build stress between the two of us. That does not help. 

 

I have to survive. I have to keep the pills down. I have to sit here nad endure. 

 

I am going to take a post break again to try and lie down for a while. Then back to writing. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#50 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 01:58 PM

It's funny how I still look for the answers in drugs, even after all these years. Even after all I have been through. Icould have gone into this trauma drug combo even if I had my dose stable for months. Plus it never lasts, the stability. Your brain becomes immune. But what am I telling you guys that for. You already know.  The lying down did not help. There is just too much pain. My whole body is vibrating now. 

 

Typing helps a bit. I think throwing up might relieve some pain, but I really want to keep the drugs down. I am going in circles. It's so sad really. When i look how far i have come. Getting ready to start working and everything. So much hard earned tiny bits of milligrams. What a waste! 

 

Not helpful right? 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#51 scallywag

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 06:35 PM

tj - I'm sorry to learn about your cat's mishap and injuries. That would be difficult for any human companion of a beloved animal at the best of times, let alone while tapering neuroactive medication.   (((((hugs)))))

 

Please be gentle with yourself.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, taper details in this post;
2017: 7.0 (65 beads) Dec.10; 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22;
Current dose: 5.4 mg (50 beads) 2017-Mar-15
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction Post
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#52 doggiemama

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 07:33 PM

Hi nice to know there is another south African out there . I understand your trauma this is a horrible thing to go though. I ctrl 2 and half years ago and I'm still suffering but it does get better

#53 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 10:29 PM

tj - I'm sorry to learn about your cat's mishap and injuries. That would be difficult for any human companion of a beloved animal at the best of times, let alone while tapering neuroactive medication.   (((((hugs)))))

 

Please be gentle with yourself.

 

To Scallywag. Thank you so much for replying. I managed to sleep! Three or four hours even. It is great to hear a calm voice. tapering never get's easier, does it? My little kitty is very sick. She slept next to me last night. She took a little water this morning. She has fractured her pelvis.  But can just about make it to her kitty litter box and back. She has to choose to eat. It is a very demanding situation! You are right. Anyone would be rather traumatised. 

 

At least I am here with her. And as I said, I slept a little! I took one Paracetamal and it helped. And listened to music. I had not slept much the night before either. So I guess  I was in shock as well. 

 

I had another withdrawal planned. I must go and prepare the dose I had stabilised on now. So that I have it ready. No withdrawals until kitty is better. I have to stop her jumping for eight weeks. If she even eats at all. What a nightmare. I hope I sleep tonight. Sleep trauma is my biggest thing. I did not sleep for a very long time when I almost two years ago. 

 

I have to survive this. 

 

Thank you again! 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#54 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 11 January 2017 - 10:32 PM

Hi nice to know there is another south African out there . I understand your trauma this is a horrible thing to go though. I ctrl 2 and half years ago and I'm still suffering but it does get better

To Doggiemama. It is nice to know there are others nearby. I have been micro tapering for a long time. I am still a long way off. It is very daunting. Life's traumas in the outside world, adding to the traumas of the withdrawal process, make for a difficult, extrememely challenging time ahead. 

 

Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate it. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#55 doggiemama

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 09:53 AM

Hope kittys doing a bit better. I'm a animal lover so I know the feeling when one is I'll, I have 3 little dogs and they keep me going hope you had a good day

#56 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 01:45 PM

I think I can explain this a bit better this time. 

 

There comes a time in drug withdrawal. Over and over. Where you have to make hard choices. Last night I was in crash mode. Tonight i am in another mode altogether. A mode where i need to understand the depth of the sacrifice I need to make to survive. 

 

I did not make new pills. I thought i could ride this one out. But there are too many external forces at work here. I have to sleep. 

 

So I took a half of a paracetomol. And a quarter of a Valiod for the nausea. I wated and hr. They helped with the nausea, but did not help me sleep. SO I broke of a carefully small amount of Diazepam. I about a mg. I am not one to change my doses randomly ever, so that is my way of making sure i don't try and risk not going up is the doses again tomorrow. 

 

The pain is bearable, but I can really feel it getting to a critical stage. Where nothing will help me really. I have to deal with going back up. I have not done that in a long time. I have to go back up, and i have to do it tomorrow. In fact,  I had to do it tonight.

 

Please excuse my drugged state of writing here. I have been meditating for some hours.

 

I had an okay day, but my nerves are completely haywire.

 

I have to sacrifice the work I have done. One step forward, two steps back.

 

That is how it goes.

 

I know this, but I was so busy today. I thought it could wait one more night. That was silly. ONe night is all it takes. As it is it will be a few days before the new dose takes effect anyway.

 

Thank you near strangers out there who understand what this is like. Thank you for allowing me this outlet. I never come onto this sight, unless I need it. I find it too hard. It is better not to believe in what I am going through, most of the time. That is how i survive it. A delicate balance between being crazy enough to withdraw, and forgetting enough, and then letting out the pain by yoga, meditation and writing, or just surviving. 

 

And then doing it all again. 

 

I must say.. I have been lucky. I have had a good ride. I mean, it has been hell. But it has been manageable. 

 

This... is not quite as manageable. 

 

Actually sitting here and writing is not helping much either. My hope now is that after the next few rough days, my new dose will take effect and HOLD. I will give it four nights. Four nights, assuming I get an hours sleep here and there, which I should do. 

 

Four nights, and then i should be improved. 

 

There is hope. 

 

Please pray for me, if that is your thing. Pray that I will have the strength once again. 

 

This is of course, all because of my beloved kitty. 

 

I Have had to nurse her myself, I can;t even put her in intensive care. Isn't that rediculous. The vet sent her home because they could not get her to syringe eat. I am doing that. I have to get her out of critical stage again. And then I can admit myself, for a break, if I need to. 

 

I may well not need to. Let's look at the bright side. All the prayers. All the hope. Those who read this, I hope I hear from you. I am so sorry I don't give more to this help site. That iss my way. One day, If I am one of the miracles who make it off the drugs, I will help at east one other person. Pay it forward. 

 

But even then, only if I can. I will always put my own needs first. There truly is no other way. 

 

I need to not crash. 

 

I am going to try the meditation again. I may be back soon. I may not. if not. I have fallen asleep thank god! Or i have managed one way or another. 

 

Thank you for reading this!! Thank you for being with me in spirit. Like my silly kitty who is just as bad at hospitals and doctors and medication as I am. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#57 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 03:55 PM

And... the cog has broken. I can feel it. I know what i need to do. Up the dose. Wait. Pray. Believe. But none of that helps with the pain. Being awake all night with extreme... What is the word when you can't sit still when all your cells are screaming? I forget. 

 

I would have been alright I think. 

 

But the cog broke. The branch of the tree broke. 

 

I am in big trouble. 

 

All because of a little trauma of my cat falling off the balcony. 

 

Oh can i describe the pain? Is there a reason to. Those who ave it bad, they know. They know. 

 

I am typing to pass the time. Because I have to pass the time ad pray this will get better. Oh my god. To reinstate the high dose again! This time is even harder than the last time. 

 

Or maybe much the same really. I can't remember. It was really bad last time. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#58 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 04:01 PM

I need help. I need to know that it will work. To go up. And advice on how much i should go up. I am currently down to 3.8 mg Diazepam. I cut too soon! I am down to 9.75 quetiapine, and the rest the same. Alstrata? Scallywag? I have reach emergency zone, but there is still hope. I need to lean on someone. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#59 scallywag

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Posted 13 January 2017 - 03:29 AM

tj - There's nothing available in this situation that has 100% certainty of working.
 
What non-drug techniques are you using to deal with your symptoms?
Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms
Non-drug techniques for dealing with physical pain
Change the channel - dealing with cognitive symptoms

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, taper details in this post;
2017: 7.0 (65 beads) Dec.10; 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22;
Current dose: 5.4 mg (50 beads) 2017-Mar-15
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction Post
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#60 doggiemama

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Posted 13 January 2017 - 10:28 AM

Stay .calm you will get though this

#61 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 15 January 2017 - 01:15 AM

Hanging in there. Time. Time heals everything. I have done this before. Thank you for the support. Just have to keep positive. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#62 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 16 January 2017 - 04:13 AM

Coming out of it... It DOES get better. Wow. I think I almost lost myself there. But this support group really helped me, as it always does. That and IRON WILL to live. 

 

My little kitty seems to be on the mend too. Praying she will make a full recovery. 

 

Thank you so much Doggiemama and Scallywag! 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#63 scallywag

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Posted 16 January 2017 - 01:40 PM

Good to hear that all in your abode are on the mend -- both you and your feline!


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results
Cymbalta (brand name), 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 20 mg to 7 mg in 2016, taper details in this post;
2017: 7.0 (65 beads) Dec.10; 6.3 (58 beads) Feb. 1; 5.6 mg (52) Feb. 22;
Current dose: 5.4 mg (50 beads) 2017-Mar-15
+ Supplements: fish oil (1500 mg EPA/500 mg DHA), Vitamins: D3, K2, C; Minerals: Mg, Se, Cr, I, V
scallywag's Introduction Post
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet


#64 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 19 January 2017 - 11:44 AM

Hello,

 

I am going to be super honest with myself. Here in South Africa, we had a huge pharmaceutical changeover last year. One of the problems that arose from this was that one of the drugs I am dependent on, namely, Diazepam, become unavailable. I was told it was not being brought into the country anymore. I then changed my withdrawal plan from trying to get off the Seroquel first, to trying to get off the Diazepam. 

 

I think I also probably withdraw too quickly. Just over a milligram in two months. Then holding. I will add this to my signature, to remind myself. I had held for two months as well, but then I had some family trouble, and then my cat was the last straw. 

 

I so very nearly ended up taking a huge step backwards. 

 

There does not seem to be a liquid version of Seroquel available here either. So i have no idea what i am going to do for the lower doses. 

 

Currently, I use a nail file to reduce the dose, and weigh with my milligram scale. That has been effective for almost two years! And i believe it still will be. 

 

I just read through the forum here, on which drug to withdraw first. I agree that the Seroquel, an atypical antipsychotic, should really be first. 

 

I guess I am looking for encouragement here. I am on a kind of low dose now right? And at least i don't have any antidepressants or stimulants in the mix! I need encouragement to carry on! 

 

I have updosed now. I seem to be slowly stabilising, as I said above. Thatnk goodness for that! The stimulation was terrible and one withdrawal problem i have is my body seems to have learned to make on of my legs go numb. That is very scary indeed as it effects my ability to do yoga! 

 

Any threads on 'holding' for long periods of time with cocktails like mine? 

 

I also don't want to make this withdrawal thing my 'whole world'. If that is even possible for any of us. But I have to live a little. I have traumas I want to work through. I need to cry, mourn. I need to look after a sick cat and try and find a place for myself in the world. 

 

Can the body really heal? The years go by and you think you have this thing all under control and then it all happens again, and it is so terrifying. 

 

Has anyone heard of importing drugs yourself to a country? I mean, for the liquid version of Seroquel. 

 

I am so very very grateful I did not end up in hospital. It's a lie that that would have been a help anyway. I only lost a few milligrams in dose too. I am grateful for that. 

 

I am just so sad. Sometimes you need to take a moment you know.. To feel sorry for yourself. To know that maybe others are reading. That maybe, there is still hope. 

 

I guess I am past the 'crisis' part, and now into the grieving. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#65 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 19 January 2017 - 12:01 PM

Here is my withdrawal history: (run out of space in my signature)

 

2014 - Tapered off lithium 1000mg (on for ten years) early 2014 over three months,and diazepam 5mg I stopped cold turkey in November 2014, was on the for 6 years.

Tapered down most of my Seroquel,  also on for six years. 300mg in the first year and then between 25-150 mg thereafter. Seroquel (down to 25 milligrams) at this time.

2015 March, stopped taking the last 25 mg.  

2015 March-June Went into protracted withdrawals.

2015 June Hospitalised, Reinstated:Seroquel 25mg Diazepam 20mg Dormonoct 2mg. 

2015 September 3 Withdrawals down Seroquel 25mg Diazepam (Pax) 7.5mg Dormonoct 2mg.

2015 November  4 WIthdrawals down Seroquel 22mg Diazepam (Pax) 7.5mg Dormonoct 2mg.

2015 Dec Seroquel: 20mg, Pax: 7.5mg, Dormonoct 2mg

2016 June Seroquel 12.5 mg Pax 6.25mg, Dormonoct 2mg

2016 July Seroquel 11.25 mg Pax 6.25 mg Dormonoct 2mg

2016 September Seroquel 10.5 mg Pax 4.3mg Dormonoct 2mg

2016 November Seroquel 9.5 Pax 3.8 mg Dormonoct 2mg (hold for the holidays)

2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up dose due to life circumstances) 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#66 Hopefull

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 03:35 AM

Hi tjdeepthinker,

I am not by any means an expert in this area. I just want to offer you my support so that you don't feel alone in this.
Give your self some credit, because you have done really well to come to this point. There are a lot of drugs that you have managed to tapper.
Hats off to you. Don't feel discouraged.
You managed to reduce Seroquel from 300mg to 10.75 mg. That is achievement in it self. I wish you all the best, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(


#67 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 04:48 AM

Hi tjdeepthinker,

I am not by any means an expert in this area. I just want to offer you my support so that you don't feel alone in this.
Give your self some credit, because you have done really well to come to this point. There are a lot of drugs that you have managed to tapper.
Hats off to you. Don't feel discouraged.
You managed to reduce Seroquel from 300mg to 10.75 mg. That is achievement in it self. I wish you all the best, Hopefull.

Hi Hopefull,

 

Thank you so much for getting back to me! I need encouragement. I am so afraid.  I guess at this stage I want to hold for a long period of time. I see on your signature, you held for five months! How did you find the long hold? I am always os scared that I I am doing myself more damage by holding for a long time. I can just feel my brain getting used to the drug and I am scared of two things: 

 

1. That the drugs will stop working as a force against withdrawals if  I Ieave it too long and I will be worse off anyway. 

2. What i said earlier, that I am damaging myself more. 

 

I guess, this many years in, you sort of hit a new level. A new place. 

 

I want to hold for a while. Even a year. Get somewhere in my life. I have... Crashed, but I am not showing it, you know? My heart and fight is out right now. It is so good to hear from others. I know there are no answers! 

 

I guess I am hoping that holding for a long period of time will, you know... Help a bit! 

 

-TJ


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#68 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 06:33 AM

Bad akathisia today. Praying for a miracle. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#69 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 27 January 2017 - 06:35 AM

Tried Epsom salt bath. Sort of okay. Made my skin burn a bit but gave me ten minutes of relief. 


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#70 Hopefull

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 04:22 AM

Hi Tjdeepthinker,

I found holding for 5 months helped me to heal. I used to think that I was causing myself more damage, but at the end of the day, what choice do you have? You can't quit cold turkey, so the only other choice you have is to listen to your body and get off meds safely.
I took Mitrazapine for approximately 10 months, and have been trying to get off for the last 2 and a bit years.
It has been tough and I recently screwed up by missing one dose and has destabilized me, but today has been s good day. That is the nature of the beast.
I understand how you are feeling, but perseverance is the key. There is no other option.
If you read Fresh's thread, she recovered from Akathasia.
If you feel like you need to hold, do that. I am still finding that I feel emotianally numb. I still can't feel love, and I can't cry.
Be patient and you will get there in the end. Take care, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(


#71 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 05:22 AM

Hi Tjdeepthinker,

I found holding for 5 months helped me to heal. I used to think that I was causing myself more damage, but at the end of the day, what choice do you have? You can't quit cold turkey, so the only other choice you have is to listen to your body and get off meds safely.
I took Mitrazapine for approximately 10 months, and have been trying to get off for the last 2 and a bit years.
It has been tough and I recently screwed up by missing one dose and has destabilized me, but today has been s good day. That is the nature of the beast.
I understand how you are feeling, but perseverance is the key. There is no other option.
If you read Fresh's thread, she recovered from Akathasia.
If you feel like you need to hold, do that. I am still finding that I feel emotianally numb. I still can't feel love, and I can't cry.
Be patient and you will get there in the end. Take care, Hopefull.

Hi Hopeful,

 

I love writing your name. It is like talking to hope, personally. It's like, 'Hi hope, how are you today?' And hope says, 'Well not so good actually, but I am hopeful...' 

 

Do you know how to change a name on here? I don't know how. But then again, a deepthinker I am. And I don't think that is going to change any time soon. Although I am trying. Daily meditation does actually help.

 

I am reading a book called the Tao of Poo. It is sort of sweet. Winnie the Pooh is not a big thinker. And he seems to do alright. I never thought about the stories in this way before. The characters really do well represent different approaches to like! I think right now I am more of an Eeyore...

 

But this is my feed, for an update.

 

The epsom salt bath did help the muscle cramps. And made me sleepy. But sleepy does not go well with akathisia. So maybe won't try that again. Maybe, just before bed might be a good idea. Although honestly I think the bath on it's own is calming enough.

 

I am regaining some muscle weight, so I have been able to get out and about a bit. Clinging to yoga for dear life. On Friday I broke down in front of the whole class because I was too weak to do a downward dog. I told them I had an autoimmune condition. For all I know, I do. Certainly in withdrawal my immune goes out of wack completely. My body eats itself. That was why I had to up-dose.

 

So now what... Try to forgive myself. For not being perfect. For the lost months. And try to accept, accept, accept. And try to live a little when I can... And try to give back when I can.

 

Sometimes seeing success stories makes me feel more bitter than anything. I am working on letting that go. Does that happen to you? (Or to anyone else who is reading this?).

 

It's like, on the one hand it's hope... But on the other hand it's like... Not fair. But life is not fair. Life doesn't know about being fair. Life just is.

 

Plan of action: Talk to my sister again. Read. Sleep.

 

And be Hopeful, against the odds.  


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 


#72 tjdeepthinker

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Posted 02 February 2017 - 06:03 AM

Posting this link on CBT for later: https://www.getselfh...k//thoughts.htm


I know I can handle this moment, simply because I AM handling this moment. 

 

*Current: 2017 January Seroquel 10.75 Pax 5mg Dormonoct 2 mg ( holding up-dose due to life circumstances) 

 

*My full withdrawal history so far, up to Jan 2017 here in my intro (post #65)

*My Blog: tjdeepthinker@wordpress.com

 

...and we can SING about LOVE together...

:rolleyes: 






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