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Hibari: tapering Remeron and want to start tapering Lamictal


Hibari

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Link to Hibari's Success Story:

 

hibari-polydrugged-benzos-twice-and-now-im-well

 

Link to benzo forum threadHibari: Swtich from Ativan to Clonazapam

 

 

Hi,

 

I have been Remeron since April 2014 reaching a dosage between 37.50-41.25

 

I also have been on Lamictal since September 2014 reaching a dosage of 200mg.

 

I began a taper of the Remeron with my psychiatrists knowlege, I think at the end of February/March?  Hard to remember with my somewhat foggy brain.

 

I am now down to 28.125-tapering at about 10% for each cut. 

 

My withdrawal has follwed a specific pattern.  I make the cut, feel some nausea but okay, then after about 2-3 weeks have a crash, depression, crying, and anxiety.

Then I pop through and move into a more stable period.  I think I let myself stabilize for about 10 days and then make another drop. 

 

My question is about starting a slow Lamictal withdrawal at the same time.   I may be overeacting but when I read about what Lamictal can do to the brain, along with other antidepressants, I want to start the taper now.  

 

I do have some professional obligations happening over the next few months but I don't want to stop my progress.   I like many others I have read am very impatient about getting off these medictions.  They served their purpose to help me after a long stressful period of caretaking-7 years-and then the death of my mom 2 1/2 years ago.

 

Any thoughts or experience about taper from two drugs at the same time.

 

Thanks.

 

Hibari

 

28.125 Remeron

200mgs Lamictal

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added link to benzo forum thread/added link to success story

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Hibari , welcome to the site.

 

In relation to tapering 2 drugs at the same time , the site advocates not to do that , with good reason.

It's recommended to wait at least 4 to 6 weeks between 10% drops , to give your brain a chance to stabilize.  A lot of people find decreases of 5%  are

easier to accommodate.

 

In the Tapering section there's a thread at the top called "Taking Multiple Psych Drugs. Which drug to taper first"    that will give you helpful advice.

I'm happy for you that things have gone alright so far.  You'll find a lot of information and support here.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Thank you Fresh.

 

I will check it out.

 

HIbari

 

2014 Remeron 28.125mg, Lamictal 200mg

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Hibari, welcome to SA.  It may be that you would be better with a micro taper, which is smaller cuts but more often as you are suffering from withdrawal symptoms.  We usually recommend tapering the antidepressant first, if you taper more than one drug at a time it is hard to see which is causing any  problems. Some taper down one drug for a few months, then taper down the other and alternate until both drugs are finished. One of our mods has been very very carefully tapering multiple meds for years with miniscule cuts but that takes a great deal of patience and knowing your body and how each drop affects you.  

 

Here are some links for you to read so that you can understand the best ways of tapering. 

 

Micro tapering http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2878-micro-taper-instead-of-10-or-5-decreases/

 

Tapering remeron http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5301-tips-for-tapering-off-remeron-mirtazapine/

 

Tapering lamictal    http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1122-tips-for-tapering-off-lamictal-lamotrigine/

 

Tapering multiple meds http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1070-taper-more-than-one-drug-at-a-time/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2207-taking-multiple-psych-drugs-taper-the-antidepressant-first/

 

That's a lot to read through but will help you to understand tapering, knowledge is power! 

 

It would help us if you can put your drug history in your signature strip for us, you can find how to do that here  

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Thank you Platinum Star

 

I did add to my signature and will check out the links you posted.

 

On top of everything, I am in menopause and have waves of emotion due to estrogen highs and lows.  I am on an estradial patch 0.25mgs and about 200mgs cream 2x a day. 

 

Today I am emotional and having hot flashes.  Will not make any hormonal changes for the next 48 hours. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Hibari.

 

Do you have any side effects from Lamictal?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Alto,

 

No, I have no real side effects from the Lamictal.  

 

In fact when I first started taking it, I calmed down immediately.  I do think my psychiatrist had me go up unnecessarily after saying a blood test revealed I didn't have enough in my blood stream.  I felt fine on 150mgs.  Now I realize I was so exhausted from care taking that I really needed to work on supporting my brain and adrenals. 

 

What I am struggling with now, besides the physical and mental withdrawal from Remeron, is my endocrine system.

 

I have been on bio-identical hormones and I have read conflicting data on the effects of Lamictal on hormone replacement and vice versa.

 

My psychiatrist says Lamicatal effects the potency of bioidentical hormones and then I read that hormones affect the potency of Lamictal.

 

I checked the interactions between estradial, progesterone and Lamictal and there is a moderate interaction-saying that the hormones are affected by Lamictal.  .

 

I ask because I am experiencing more hot flashes, mainly during the night and early morning-typical times for hormone imbalances to show up.

 

Also, my withdrawal symptoms really hit me hard in the morning during the time I am trying to stabalize.  I feel anxious, fleeting suicidal thoughts, and some despair.

 

Is this common to have worse symptoms in the morning? 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Just wanted to check in and say that I have popped through into a window after a really tough day yesterday. 

 

I think it was because I hadn't stabilized enough from my cut of Remeron from 30mg to 28.125 mg in the later part of April.  From now on I will be specific about the dates of my cuts because I get confused about how long I have been on a taper phase. 

 

I was nibbling around this cut, meaning trying to shave a little bit off into a micro taper, but I was so sick yesterday that I made sure I was taking the exact or as close as I can get with my pill cutter to the 28.125 dose.  I woke feeling the usual hang over from the Remeron but the horrible sick feeling is gone. 

 

I read in the slow taper forum that taking it slow, even though it drives me crazy, is the way to go.   I have to do it this way and accept the pace.  I want to be able to enjoy my life as I taper and that's what I got from reading the slow taper forum.  I can't just put my life on hold and be in a constant state of physical and mental strain. 

 

For today, that is my plan though knowing me I will have to revisit this issue of slow tapering again. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I think the Remeron withdrawal process is tough for many, and the Lamictal may soften it a bit. If there is a hormone interaction, decreasing it is going to be changing how it works, adding more variability. Just my random ideas, but why I am keeping lithium for last in my taper.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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  • Moderator Emeritus

hibari, hello!

 

glad to hear about your window and your plan to slow taper - SLOWWWWW TAPER!

 

it sounds like you are seeing improvement. i often found that very nice windows followed some of the most atrocious wave days. it's almost as if the wave is fighting as hard as possible to hang on but can't... and finally recedes leaving that nice window, clear. long may it last for you.

 

hang in there and be patient.

 

dave

1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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  • Administrator

Please consider using the liquid form of mirtazapine to taper.

 

If I were you, I'd not worry about lamotrigine for now.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you for all your support!

 

I will keep paying attention to my hormonal shifts and see how things change or not.

 

Yes, I will definitely consider getting a liquid form of Mirtazapine.  I see my psychiatrist next week and will ask him for a prescription, he is a nice guy and pretty open to things.  He knows I am tapering of the Mirt. He's the one that suggested L-Theanine for my initial acute anxiety when I first started to taper, without talking to him about it.     

 

I was fearful he wouldn't support me, not based on past behavior but I think on past experiences with 4 different psychiatrists who were much more set in their beliefs about medication.   The L-Theanine has really worked for me. 

 

I also will hold on the Lamictal for now, your question Alto on whether I was having any side effects made me realize that I wasn't.  

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi,

 

Because I am so impatient, I made too quick a cut with my Mirtazapine,

 

On Monday, May 11th, went from 28.175 to 26.25-felt really sick. 

 

Reinstated back to 28.175 and had 5 really good days.

 

So of course on the weekend, I tried to taper again and felt really sick

 

Tried to add just a tiny bit back in, don't have liquid Mirt and even my psychiatrist could not find liquid in the U.S.

 

I tried to bring it back up to about 27mg.

 

I am still feeling sick and emotional.

 

My question is, If I go back up to 28.175 am I upsetting my brain too much and I won't feel better at that dose?

 

Is the up and down causing permanent damage? 

 

I know I need to stabilize for longer periods of time, I just fight it.  I even said in an earlier posting that I had to be patient but also knew I would be tested.

 

Anyone have any advice or experience with this?

 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I realize my post belongs in the slowness of slow tapers postings so I have posted it there.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I moved the above 2 posts from the tapering section. This is your own update thread which you can use as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want to ask questions about your own specific situation.

 

Continually changing doses isn't causing permanent damage, but you are causing unnecessary suffering for yourself and possibly making the process of tapering and recovery longer than it needs to be.

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

I don't know if going back up to 28.175mg will make you feel better, but while you keep jumping around in doses, you are further destabilizing your NS, you need to pick a dose and stick with it until your symptoms have stabilized before making another change. You need to think in terms of weeks, not days.

 

 

 don't have liquid Mirt and even my psychiatrist could not find liquid in the U.S.

 

 

Liquid mirtazapine is not available in the US, but there are alternatives, please see the mirtazapine tapering topic for details here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5301-tips-for-tapering-off-remeron-mirtazapine/

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Hi Petunia,

 

Yes, I agree.  I back up to about 28.125 maybe slightly less.

 

I consulted my psychiatrist and was able to find a compound pharmacy in NJ.  Miller Pharmacy https://www.millerspharmacy.com/

 

 

My psychiatrist sent in a proscription and I am having a suspension made for my Mirtazapine.

 

I feel so so today.  No real physical symptoms but very emotional-feel like crying.   

 

I discovered that I was bitten by a tick, and developed the classic circular rash . I am now on antibiotics for 3 weeks.

 

I used to be such a holistic person and still am at heart but it is so upsetting to see the numerous prescription bottles along my bedside. 

 

I am taking bio identical hormones, my Mirtazapine, Lamictal 200Mg and now antibiotics.

 

I fear I will never be able to get my body back in balance.  I am trying not to go there and know my tearfulness is part of the withdrawal but I am feeling sorrow for myself today.  

 

I think I have said this before but except for this site, this process has been extremely lonely. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi  Hibari ,   you're mood is part of the withdrawal - it's not permanent , just a phase you're passing through.  You will get back

to your old self after a while.

 

Word of warning about antibiotics - some members here have reacted badly to them.    I'd take a small dose first

(if possible) , and if you have an adverse reaction stop immediately.   

 

There's a thread in Symptoms and Self Care called "Which antibiotics can I take . . . . "   that may be helpful to read.

(Sorry , can't copy the link today , not sure why)

 

Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

Hi Fresh,

 

I really appreciate your perspective around the mood piece.  I am very clear that underneath all of this I am ok but the tears were concerning me.  I cried again today and knowing it's related to withdrawal is good to hear.   There is also some genuine grief about my life that I am letting go of. 

 

Yes, I am keeping an eye on the antibiotics and so far I am all right.  I usually am very sensitive to them but I am not having a huge reaction-some itchy skin stuff but manageable.

 

I wake up with hot flashes and it's probably due to low estrogen, which can be affected by Lamictal.

 

I may raise my hormones just a little instead of willing myself to heal because I say so. 

 

Thank  you again.

 

Hibari

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment

I am so emotional today and it's scary.   I want to cry and cry and along side of that is such deep rage about what I am going through.

 

My husband, who has been very supportive, is walking around on pins and needles around me and I can't take it. 

 

I don't have it in me to make it okay for him while I go through this and I know how unfair that is.   It's like I can't let myself have the space to go through this the way I need to because of the guilt I feel.   We had a conversation about a month ago where I said to him, stop checking in on me, I will let you know if I am feeling bad or need your help. 

I haven't really kept up my end of the bargain-I try and keep my wild emotions and physical symptoms to myself but of course he picks up on them.

 

My tendency going through this is crying and then I feel completely confused because I wonder if my estrogen is being effected and lowered.  

 

I just wish there was one practitioner who could help me with all of it, the withdrawal and the hormones.

 

My husband is going away on a business trip this week and I have dog duty.  I am going to try and get out everyday for myself till he comes back.  I don't want to get trapped in my emotions and the apartment. 

 

How is it possible that I want to cry deeply every day?  I know some of you have said it's withdrawal and I am clinging to that. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Sorry to hear you're still feeling so unsettled.  Remember today next time you get impatient about decreasing slowly.

 

The site recommends staying at each new level for at least 4 weeks until you see how you feel.  

This is to allow the brain to stabilize , not just to weather the w/d storm and then assault it again with another decrease.

If you're tapering 2 meds , you still need to wait after changing either of them , before cutting the other one.

 

Crying has always been one of my main symptoms , and it's hard to suppress.   I'd say just go for it , let yourself sob , and 

when you don't need to anymore , you wont.

 

Do I understand from your first post that you've been on these meds for 10 years?

All the more reason to go down slowly , specially as you need to honour your upcoming work commitments.

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

Link to comment

Hi Fresh,

 

I feel better know someone else cries too.

 

Yes, the warning of rushing the tapers is taken.  

 

The other emotion I am experiencing is rage-so much rage, not only about the medications, but what caused me to have to be put on them in the first place.  Over-giving and care taking to the point of exhaustion. 

 

No, haven't been on medication 10 years.  Remeron about 11 months, Lamictal 9 months.  What is in the mix as well is menopause and that has been really hard for me.  The drop in hormones has me out of my mind, not so much with the physical symptoms but the drop in mood.  

 

Now also antibiotics for a tick bite.   

 

All I want to do today is stay in bed and hide.   I have some obligations, which I think will help but wow, in addition to being in a major depression for over a year, this has been the hardest time of my life.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment

So down today.  Reinstated my Remeron to 28.125 last night and today, I changed my Estadial patch and raised it from 0.025-0.03.75.   

After a complete meltdown yesterday, crying uncontrollably and raging with a friend, I still felt sad at night. 

 

I feel so despairing today that I will not recover my health.  I seem to be sliding back instead of moving forward.   I feel scared I will be stuck on these medications forever and that my nervous system will not recover.

 

I have been trying to contact some sort of higher power, God or the Universe and have been begging for help and relief.  I am so angry because I do not sense the help.  I feel like I am the one who shows up everyday to try and get better.  Where is the miraculous healing I hear so much about?   I don't trust that I am being supported by some unseen forces  As I ranted to my friend last night, the only one who can hold the space for me, I said, how about God or the Universe meeting me half way?  I have been showing up and doing my part, but how about some sign that I am being heard! 

 

 I know you all know this but this is so hard especially on days where you feel the same depression, cognitive fog and despair that you did before.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I feel the same hibari..

 

I'm sorry you feel so bad.

 

At least, we are all not alone in this. Some poor people out there may not have a clue whats happening to them!

 

Hug x

2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare!

 

On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect.

 

Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan.

 

 

Nightmare that could have been avoided!

Link to comment

Thank you Love and Light.  

 

Yes, I am so glad I am not alone.

 

And it means so much that you understand what I am going through even though you are having a hard day. 

 

I've been reading through some of the success stories to keep me going.   

 

I also had another thought today- Rermeron/Mirtazapine has a very sedating effect. I have been worried about my lack of passion for life and blaming myself for not having a spark.  I realized today that the drugs are holding down not just feelings but my zest for life. 

 

Besides your email, I went to acupuncturist that I have just started seeing.  I told her I was afraid I would never get off my medications and she said very quietly, "you will". 

 

I am holding your message and hers close today.

 

Hold on and we will get through! 

 

Big hug back to you.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment

Hi Hibari,

 

I relate to a lot of what you've shared..and I'm also a fellow Remeron survivor.

 

I think you're right about the drug having a sedating effect on both emotions and inspiration about life. I feel markedly different on both those counts, now that I am off the meds...and for me, both things began to change during tapering.

 

I know that most everyone on here says the emotions that come are due simply to wd. I don't think that was true for me. It certainly magnified them, especially the feelings I wasn't very skilled at dealing with (anger). I believe that most of us have grief that has not been felt and while some part may be neuroemotion, I suspect some part of it is also real. Crying is a great release.....and can be beneficial.

 

Something about wd, perhaps the suffering itself, seems also to precipitate a kind of spiritual crisis. While distressing in many ways, there's a potential for it to lead to a more genuine spiritual life. I spent a good chunk of time unable to connect with anything, even though I continued with some spiritual practices throughout. But that period of walking in the desert does come to an end...gradually, something else begins to spring up and the landscape isn't so barren anymore.

 

Your acupuncturist sounds like a gem...try to hold onto those words of others when your own fail you. You've been on the meds much shorter than many of us on here...I'm finding healing after 10 years on them..we are more resilient than the drugs and docs would have us believe.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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Wow, I have taken in so much of what you have written.

 

Yes, I agree, not all the deep emotions I am feeling right now are all wd.   I have wells of anger and grief coming  up that have to do with loss and longing.   I also believe I am going through a dark night of the soul, less intense then about 6 months ago but still happening. 

 

When I was sobbing and raving on the phone with my friend, I said "don't let anyone lock me up.  I am crazy with emotions right now and they need to come out". 

All of these held down and held back feelings are flooding out and I have been in therapy for years.   I stopped about two months ago because I said to myself, "there is nothing psychologically wrong with me.  I no longer to dig for anything because there is nothing wrong with me and I know it.  The support of therapy has been great but I don't need to understand anything anymore. 

 

What I need is to let the feelings out in meetings or with trusted friends while I taper. 

 

You said some of your tapers with Remeron were held longer than others.   I felt as ok as I could coming down from 41.25-30, then the drop from 30-28.175 was a bit rougher.  And now, I can't get below 28.175 and that is where I think I need to hang here for a bit. 

 

What was your experience of why some tapers needed to be held more than others or is it just our nervous system at that moment?

 

Thanks so much. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I think there's some wisdom in allowing the feelings to come, without the need to understand or figure them out. Often when there's one loss, it will touch into all our losses. Most of us have been conditioned to believe that loss is only about death...but we face multiple losses all the time, some small and some large. The accumulate because of the culture we live in. Most of us have little support through them..and people tell you in subtle and not so subtle ways, to grow up or move on.

 

The holds that I took while tapering (which I did faster than recommended) were sometimes related to the grief I was facing because of the death of my wife and a number of other losses in several years before that. For example, I did no tapering around holidays or other significant dates. Those were hard enough, without adding additional stuff to them. I also had a few drops where the rage was so intense, I needed time to process that without digging up more. In those periods, I did a lot of extra spiritual practice..until I felt stable enough to make the next decrease.

 

 

I didn't allow myself to dwell on the thoughts I'd never get off the drug. I was so determined to free myself not just from remeron, but from the rest of the drugs I was taking, well....I can be a very stubborn person. I knew without getting off it, I would not be able to get off the others...

 

I really think of the wd as a dark night of the soul or a hero/heroine's journey...but for me, that helps give some meaning to the suffering. Everyone is different on such things..but for me, it provides a context and prevents me from staying stuck in anger at the doctors or in self-blame. Somehow, this is part of my life's journey..even if I don't understand why it happened. At age 60, I don't know how many of these opportunities I'll have left. I intend to make the most of it.

 

Don't worry about timing...just trust that your body/mind will tell you as it's ready for making the next decrease. I think the holding places can provide a lot in terms of gathering strength, resources, allowing things to settle...which then makes the next part a little easier.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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I cannot imagine the pain you felt when you lost your wife.   I hope that you have experienced some peace around her passing though I would not impose that on you if that is not your experience. 

 

I appreciate your insight around holidays and significant dates.  My tumble into depression and exhaustion came after I had taken care of my mom for an intense 7 year period. 

After her death at the end of July in 2012, I functioned for a year and then started to slide into depression in September/October of 2013.  The stress and the loss just hit me after the shock had worn off.   

 

I had forgot to mention in my introduction that I went on and off a series of anitdepresants very quickly from about 4 different psychiatrists.  Each one was from 1 day to 10 days at the most.  My body could not handle it-I  had  Zoloft 4 days, Lexapro-1 day, Nortriptyline-10 days, Liquid Prozac, 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.  This occurred in about a 4 month period.  One psychiatrist wanted me to try Ritalin to jolt me out of my depression-I refused.  My body could not handle the medication-I had never taken heavy duty drugs before and I don't say this to point out that I was special-I think most people have a reaction to medication.

 

In addition, I was put on Xanax after a reaction to the Lexapro and used that till I was switched to Clonazepam-.averaging about 0.25-0.50 daily.  That was from December 2013-September 2014.  Once I started the Lamictal I just stopped the Clonzepam- and never felt the withdrawal I had experienced when I tried to stop it before-knowing nothing about withdrawal.  I was breaking it into tiny pieces and was probably at about.0.12.  I didn't write about all this because once I started the Remeron and then the Lamicatal-everything else seemed a long time ago.  But as I write it out, it is quite a bit of trauma to the body.  I also was in such a depressed anxious state I do not remember much about late 2013 till the summer of 2014. 

 

My emotions of rage, deep grief and loss are emerging.  And reading your thoughts on why you held at certain times is making me realize that it's about this time of year that I put my mother into hospice.  The end of May into July.   The sorrow I have felt for the last years of her life is so deep.   I feel badly about what she went through and though she was a difficult person, I know she loved me and was grateful for my care.  

 

I burned myself out in caring for her and I grieve that lost time and I am filled with all of the anger and rage I experienced taking better emotional care of my mom then she did of me.  I also am feeling the angry towards my siblings who allowed me to handle the  care taking.  I am very aware that I volunteered, because I wanted on some level to get from my mom what I did not get as a child but my siblings were very willing to step back-not all of it was because I was super girl.

 

So yes, the feelings are pouring out. 

 

The last think I want to say is that my self-esteem has taken a beating from the weight I have gained on both drugs though mainly the Remeron.  I used to take dance classes and exercise on a regular basis.  When I got depressed, I couldn't even leave the house to walk our dog    Now I can and I am out in the world more but very conscious of how out of shape I am.

 

I also know I will get back to more and more as I heal.

 

Thank you for listening.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Hibari,

 

I think there are many people who end up on ad and/or other meds following a loss. Doctors do not understand that grief looks a lot like depression (although I no longer believe in the concept of depression). The DSM says that if grief goes on longer than 2 months, then you are depressed. I'm shocked that we are operating from an idea that people should be over a loss in 2 months. In 25 years of working with people, I have never once seen anyone be over a loss in that period of time. Never.

 

I'm sorry for what you went through with your mother..and don't find it all surprising the emotions that have come up for you. As I said before, we are often hit with years of feelings that have been buried for one reason or another. Maybe that's especially true when it comes to family.

 

Try to be gentle with yourself through this time in particular. I've found those anniversary dates to be very challenging, even several years after the fact.

 

I don't know what words to put to where I am with regard to my wife's death. I don't feel the level of sadness and distress I once did. But there isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss her. This is my first time through the anniversaries minus any drugs..and think there are more feelings emerging because of that.

 

Wishing you well on your journey.

 

I can relate to your distress about gaining weight on these stupid meds. I put on 70 pounds on Remeron..and nothing I tried helped me to lose weight. With each increase on the drug, I gained more. I had previously been an active woman. I played competitive sports into my 40's..and after that, continued with swimming, hiking, cycling. I was a few pounds overweight before I started the drugs...but nothing like the 70 pounds. I got to the point of not wanting to look in a mirror.

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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I started on a liquid suspension of Remeron/Mirt made by a compound pharmacy on Thursday night.   Taking 28mgs. 

I felt pretty good on Friday, the usual stupor in the morning and flatness throughout the day but not sick or depressed.

 

Did the same dosage last night but today I feel tired and emotional.   Who knows what's causing it.  I am taking antibiotics for what I thought was a tick bite but the text came back negative.

I will finish the course-starting the 2nd week of 3 weeks.

 

The part I hate most about this, aside from the sick feeling and roller coaster ride of emotions, is that my mood is a crap shoot in the morning.    I know people don't always wake up in the best of moods but I remember having more of a baseline of ok before I got depressed and then went on medication.  I get very worried when my mood is low and I know it's in reaction to the horrible depression I went through and now the medication withdrawal. 

 

Today is a day where I feel like crying or something.  I want to remember that I am down 30% of my medication and that is an accomplishment.  I want to hold onto that and keep telling myself I will get my health back.  

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Just read the forum on switching to a liquid form of medication and how doing so is like making a cut.

 

I'm so glad I read that because I am feeling so sick and emotional.   I was wondering what was wrong with me and I was concerned I was really sliding backwards.

 

I am in it today-meaning the physical and emotional WD is happening.  I have to be very precise in my liquid measuring or I could send myself or I could create more WD symptoms.

 

Said by many people here, I cannot wait till I am free and clear.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Woke up this morning in a deep state of fear and terror.   I felt so overwhelmed and sick and my thoughts were frantic.

 

I kept saying to myself that this is WD and that I will get through.

 

As I said, I am on antibiotics as well for a tick bite that I believe had Lyme.  I have that tell tale ring so my stomach is not the best anyway. 

 

This feels like WD but I am going to stay here till I stabilize-as I wrote above-switching to a liquid suspension of Mirt gave me an unexpected cut in my dose.

 

I had my coffee and I am functional and as long as I am functional, even with the waves of fear and anxiety, I am going to stay with the cut. 

 

I just need to keep the faith.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Made it through today.  Was sick and out of it most of the day but was able to function.  Even though I felt wired and hazy, no seemed to pick up on it. 

 

Confirmed that I am not just my wd, but have other parts to me as well.

 

Going to start adding back in some Omega 3's and work on making my bedroom even darker because the mornings are hellish for me right now.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I feel better today.  I wore something over my eyes last night and I don't know if that shifted things this morning but I feel don't feel as sick as yesterday-still somewhat nauseous but betty. . 

 

I also am sticking with my liquid Mirt dose for the next few weeks to really allow myself to stabilize.   

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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This is turning into a journal for me but why not?

 

Woke up again without the usual anxiety, second night of covering my eyes to keep my cortisol from jumping.

 

I feel more sad today than anything today and I am hoping it is mostly WD.   I am not ignoring the things I am grieving at this part of my life but I don't want it to dominate my wish to be in my life again.

 

I am on my way to acupuncture now to continue the healing of my body. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I could use some support today.   I am very emotional, want to cry and very angry on top of it.

 

I feel so angry that I exhausted myself taking care of a difficulty parent for 7 years.  I got so exhausted I fell into a depression and was so down I accepted medication. 

 

Now, I feel so emotional and yet lack of passion for life.   Everyone else out walking around seems so chipper and optimistic.  Meanwhile I am stuck with medication weight, a mood like a roller coaster and a ways to go before I am off my medications.

 

I pray this is mostly WD and that I will even out again.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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