success Hibari: tapering Remeron and want to start tapering Lamictal

[Hibari]

Having a tough time right now-in a wave for about 4 days.   Very emotional, depressed, so many hot flashes and despondency.

 

I dread these are return of menopausal symptoms because that is what partially drove me into depression.  

 

I have felt every cut I have made in my taper of Remeron and now Lamictal.  Whether big or small and holding, I have felt them. 

 

I could use some support and encouragement at this time.  And a reminder that this is wd. 

 

 

[AmyK]

Dear Hibari, of course this is wd. You are doing everything right, this is the drug talking. 

It's so hard, I know, but IT will pass, just hold on. 

Many hugs.

[Hopefull]

Hold on Hibari,  it will pass. 

You have done very well.  Take care,  Hopefull.

[Hibari]

5 hours ago, AmyK said:

Dear Hibari, of course this is wd. You are doing everything right, this is the drug talking. 

It's so hard, I know, but IT will pass, just hold on. 

Many hugs.

Thank you Amy.  I want to keep the faith.

[Hibari]

1 minute ago, Hopefull said:

Hold on Hibari,  it will pass. 

You have done very well.  Take care,  Hopefull.

Thank you Hopefull.  I just hit a wall today.  Ended up working with shifted my mood a bit but it's been low grade in the background.

[Santino]

Hi Hibari...

How are you my friend...???!!! Did the bad days passed..??? 

I truly believe you are a winner and the bad days are just a bump down the road. You are being so good into handling this whole process.

All the best

[Hibari]

Hi Santino.

Thank you for checking in.  Yes, the bad days did pass and I have stabilized.  I will hold till I get through some work next week and then start again with small cuts.  

 

I see you are down very far on your taper and it won't be long now for you till you are off.  

 

Thank you for your support and you have mine.   

[Hibari]

Tough couple of days.  Feeling both the physical and mental symptoms of wd.   I also am waking up to some other emotions and discovering those has been uncomfortable but okay for healing. 

 

It's the low depressive mood, wanting to cry and lack up energy that is affecting me.  One of those lost days. 

 

It's been 6 months since I stopped Remeron and now I'm at 16.50mgs of Lamictal.   Having gone through the other taper, I feel surprisingly far from the finish line as I am moving into low dose territory.  

[Survivor1]

Hibari, you are very brave to tackle another taper so soon after the remeron one, but I am sure you can handle it.  Hang in there.  You are at a relatively low dose of lamictal.  All the best.

[Hibari]

Thank you Survivor.  I appreciate your support. 

[Hibari]

Two days of fear and such a low mood.  Crying spells and feeling very vulnerable.

 

I need to write about it so that I can release my fear.  These are the times when I feel my mind is not my friend and I have to just force myself to move forward. 

So funny what I used to want and now the biggest desire I have is good health for the rest of my life.   I want to have the faith that the path that I am on is one that will lead me to where I am meant to be.  I'm showing up and want to turn over the rest to a power greater than me.  

[Santino]

Hibari...

Do not let yourself down with such kind of thinking. It is normal to want good health and some times a lot of people let go of other valuable things just to have the good health. You have experienced good windows and you have experienced bad waves. We both know that those windows will come again down your door... so in the bad times just try to push through and spent time with as less stress as possible. It is doable my friend so just keep at it. You have done sooo well. And you will do well.

Very soon this will be over. You re on such low doses of lamictal now so just concentrate on that... the worse is over.

Good luck my friend. Be there...

[Hibari]

Your support is very kind Santino.  Yes, it was a bad wave and now I am more stable. 

 

I hope you are all right too. 

[Hibari]

I get a lot support from this site in different forms.

 

I now am looking to connect with other people who are actively withdrawing from Lamictal at this time.  I have done a lot of reading on Beyond Meds and looked for other people going through this particular medication wd.

 

If you are, please let me know. 

 

Thanks.

 

[AmyK]

On 2017-10-03 at 3:26 AM, Hibari said:

Two days of fear and such a low mood.  Crying spells and feeling very vulnerable.

 

I need to write about it so that I can release my fear.  These are the times when I feel my mind is not my friend and I have to just force myself to move forward. 

So funny what I used to want and now the biggest desire I have is good health for the rest of my life.   I want to have the faith that the path that I am on is one that will lead me to where I am meant to be.  I'm showing up and want to turn over the rest to a power greater than me.  

I feel the same, Hibari. I just want a clear head and try to get on with my life. I will be grateful for ever, and appreciate all the great small wonderful things, if I get my health back. Patience...

hugs! 

Amy

[Hibari]

12 hours ago, AmyK said:

I feel the same, Hibari. I just want a clear head and try to get on with my life. I will be grateful for ever, and appreciate all the great small wonderful things, if I get my health back. Patience...

hugs! 

Amy

Thanks Amy.   I actually am in a better place this past week.  In wd normal, which is better than wd hell.  

[Hibari]

Have been feeling the physical withdrawal symptoms very acutely the past 3 days.   A constant headache,  low grade nausea and my eyesight is bad.   All  have been with me ever since I started withdrawing from Lamictal or at least more recognized since it is the only medication I am on at this time.  I find it exhausting to deal with even though I am working and functioning on a daily basis.

My last cut was 2.5%.  

 

It is one of those times where the temptation to get off is so strong.    I won't jump but wish I had the courage, space and belief that if I did, I would come out of it all right. I know that is not the reality of what I will do. 

[Hibari]

I just posted this on the tapering forum but am posting it here as well in case anyone sees it.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1596-using-a-digital-scale-to-measure-doses/?page=4

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Posted 2 minutes ago

Hi,  I need help with the weighing of tablets.  I originally used tablets, then switched to liquid but as I have come down, I don't know how much of the medication I am getting and I think it is

 

So I decided to switch to a scale and bought the Gemini 20-portable Milligram Scale.  

 

First of all the choice of measurements is confusing to me: gram, oz, ozt (troy oz) dwt (penny weight), ct (carat), gn (grain)

 

I think I should be using the ozt measurement because when I weigh my 25mg lamictal tablet, it comes up as 27. 

 

So, currently I am a16mgs of Lamictal.  I don't know how to do this with the scale. 

 

Do I just cut up my 25mg tablet and place the pieces into the tray till it weighs 16mg? 

 

Thanks. 

 

 

[AmyK]

Hi Hibari. I saw that you got good advice. Best of luck!

Thanks for commenting on my thread. 

Hugs! 

[Hibari]

Thanks Amy,  I actually have decided to go back to cutting my pills until I need to weigh them.   I was finding myself struggling with the liquid taper because I really wasn't sure how much of the medication I was getting in the syringe.  There was always a bunch of the sediment in the water.  I know it was probably filler stuff but I was struggling with symptoms.   Now that could just be good old withdrawal but for now, I want a consistent of medication in each dosage I take.

[Hibari]

My Lamictal wd continues to be a wild and anxiety ridden ride.  I switched back to pill cutting after feeling like the water suspension was not accurately giving me the right dose of medication each time.   Between the fillers and meds, I kept feeling I was not settling into one dose.  I had 4 days last week of bad headaches and poor eye site.  

I got a scale but have decided to use my 5mg Lamictal pills and stabilize myself at 15mgs and then use the scale as I get farther down.  I may have been close to 15 already with the liquid suspension of 16mgs.  .

 

My headaches have subsided but I still have through the roof anxiety and panic during the day.  Hot flashes and nausea daily and a foggy head and fuzzy thinking.

 

I'm writing because I still grapple with the fact that I was only on both my meds for 10 months a piece before I started to taper.  I think that I feel I should move faster because of that or in reality my fear is that I've een keep feeding my brain this drug for longer than the peak time I was on it.   It has taken me over 2 years and 3 months to get to 15mgs after a 10 month dose of 200mgs.   Actually less time at 200mgs because I titated up over 3-4- months.   

 

I just feel crazy and sick today though I'm able to work during this time.    I wish I could be philosophical or wise but I just feel wrung out by this process. 

[AmyK]

I know how you feel, Hibari. I was on Zoloft for five months then I began to taper. It took me six years! But I couldn't do any other way, otherwise I couldn't have worked at my job. Don't freak out about the length of your taper. You do what you have to do to be kind towards your body and brain. Just keep on tapering at the speed you are comfortable with. 

Sending healing thoughts.

I hope you feel better soon. I never had problem with using water titraded liquid, but I started with that at around 3-4 mg, I think. 

Amy

[Hibari]

Thanks Amy.  I have to sit with this for a bit.  If I don't stabilize or find some relief, I may up dose slightly.   I have written this before but it's true, whether I have done small or large cuts, my withdrawal has always been present.  It has never been in the background as I lived my life.  Will see how the next days go. 

[Hibari]

An update.  I have stabilized using 15mgs tablets.  I feel much less anxious and thought there continues be some fogginess and fatigue, things are much better than when I was using the 16mg water suspension.   I'm going to hold now for a bit and really get some stable weeks underneath me.

 

 

[Hibari]

I continue to be in wd stability.  No headaches, or depression.  Still some hot flashes-much less and some anxiety.   I feel like addressing the dosing issue made a difference.  

I am however, so tired.  Just am getting over a cold and am hitting such a wall of fatigue.   It's definitely a combination of being sick and Lamictal fatigue. 

 

 A program friend said to me, can you surrender to this right now?   I can, even though resting is the biggest thing I deal with because I want to keep going.  But, I can't for now.  And saying those words "for now" makes all the difference.   I want to hold onto t he vision that I will become vibrant again and have a clear mind.   I'm grateful I can function these days and continue to work, which I have to do. 

 

So, I'm okay and that is okay to notice. 

[Hibari]

I am in a Lamictal wave right now.  So down and weepy.   My mind feels clear but this feeling of sadness and low mood is awful.  It's been 3 weeks since I made my last cut.

I am functioning right now but these past 3 days I have been depressed and fearful.   Having more hot flashes so I imagine there is some brain stuff going on. 

 

I could use some support and reassurance yet again that is wd and not me. 

 

Thanks. 

[AmyK]

Just go with the flow and accept the sadness and the depressed feelings, Hibari. This is wd talking. The brain is adjusting and working hard to get balance. 

I know It's very hard, but just be kind to your self. This will pass. 

 

Many hugs, Amy

[Hibari]

Thank you Amy.  I am willing my way through this.  Not shutting myself off but a lot of self talk. 

 

 

[broadmargin]

I don't see a lot of people in the middle of a Lamictal withdrawal on this board, so i wanted to stop in and say hello.

I'm currently down to 50mg from 75mg.  I peaked at 75mg before a competent psychiatrist saw me and told me to stop upping my dose, and instead taper off.  And oddly enough She suggested that i taper slowly (though her idea of slow is 12.5mg every 2 weeks).

 

I get the headaches behind my eyes.

I get the fatigue, and then i feel guilty because i feel like i'm being lazy, but i'm just totally drained.

I get waves of depression after a cut, but i feel better knowing that i'm lowering my dose.

 

I'll have to get a hold of some 5mg pills at some point (After reading about your water suspension issues).

 

Hold tight.  The windows come.

[Hibari]

3 hours ago, broadmargin said:

I don't see a lot of people in the middle of a Lamictal withdrawal on this board, so i wanted to stop in and say hello.

I'm currently down to 50mg from 75mg.  I peaked at 75mg before a competent psychiatrist saw me and told me to stop upping my dose, and instead taper off.  And oddly enough She suggested that i taper slowly (though her idea of slow is 12.5mg every 2 weeks).

 

I get the headaches behind my eyes.

I get the fatigue, and then i feel guilty because i feel like i'm being lazy, but i'm just totally drained.

I get waves of depression after a cut, but i feel better knowing that i'm lowering my dose.

 

I'll have to get a hold of some 5mg pills at some point (After reading about your water suspension issues).

 

Hold tight.  The windows come.

Thank you for stopping by.  Yes,  I haven't found so many people tapering Lamictal though they may be around .

 

It's validating to hear your symptoms and I have lots of empathy for what you are going through.   Yes, it's a weird feeling knowing I am fine on the inside yet having these low sad feelings during this taper. It's almost as if I am wearing a coat of symptoms but it's not who I really am-hard to believe at times.

 

 

[broadmargin]

6 minutes ago, Hibari said:

Thank you for stopping by.  Yes,  I haven't found so many people tapering Lamictal though they may be around .

 

It's validating to hear your symptoms and I have lots of empathy for what you are going through.   Yes, it's a weird feeling knowing I am fine on the inside yet having these low sad feelings during this taper. It's almost as if I am wearing a coat of symptoms but it's not who I really am-hard to believe at times.

 

 

 

“A coat of symptoms” is a great way to explain it.  

[Rachel1963]

Hi Hibari...

I am so inspired by you.  I have been watching your struggles and successes.  I am so hopeful that I will get off the Remeron one day now that you have.

I have finally decided to start tapering all my meds as I have been on them five years now and doctor would like to see me ease off them.  Because my estrogen dose is so high we decided I would start that first, then do a little Remeron, then a little more estrogen and so on.  I am down three of my Premarin pills and feeling it so waiting to stabilize.  I thought I would come here and be inspired by you and I am.  I am so hoping the rest of your taper smooths out.  I am just going to creep along at a snail’s pace depending on my body to tell me when to go again.  I’m reducing my Remeron three times after going down four more Premarin pills.  Thank you for sharing your story Hibari!  It helps me more than you can imagine starting on my own healing journey. ❤️

[Hibari]

Rachel, what a nice message. 

 

I know you will get off Remeron and your body is the best guide.  I think you know that I stopped my estrogen patch as well maybe 6 or 7 months ago.  I didn't want to take it anymore and wanted to get to the other side of menopause, which I feel I have been in for 6 years.   I still use natural progeterone cream but have even cut down on that.  I won't stop that till I am off Lamictal.  

 

I can honestly say Rachel that tapering off Remeron gave me more of myself back than I ever thought was gone.  I knew it was a sedating medication and now I wake up without needing 4 hours to feel functional.

 

I'm rooting for you and you have my support. 

[Hibari]

I've been in a window for about 4 days and it's a relief.   I've also made some other changes in order to help my body stabilize. 

 

I have now switched over to green tea after being able to drink coffee throughout my Remeron/Mirt taper.   I used to be so sedated from Mirt that it would take 3-4 hours to fully be functional.  Coffee really helped me through those times.  But the past month I have been too jittery and anxious so I made the switch.  I feel better and green tea has always cleared my head.  It has L-Theanine in it and it's one supplement I've had good results with.

 

I also stopped taking magnesium at night, which I added in for sleep.  On a gut level I felt it was absorbing or interfering with my medication.  I used to take everything at night and now it's only the Lamical and sometimes L-Theanine for sleep.    Everything else, progesterone and all vitamins in the day time.

 

I also read a lot of the recovery stories that were recently posted.  They mainly have to do with benzo recovery but I found them very inspiring.   People do recover. 

 

I am tired but that is better than the intense feelings of sadness and anxiety I was feeling. 

 

Onward. 

 

 

[Hibari]

It's time to make another cut.  I have been feeling solid; a couple of rough days due to over doing in terms of work but generally very withdrawal stable.

 

My mind is clearer and I am not feeling the horrible sadness, headaches or nausea that I have had before.  The reason I feel it's time is I feel a certain flatness  and a sense of being medicated.  My body is telling me it's time. 

 

I am writing this out so that I can remember that I do stabilize and that wd plays havoc with my thinking. 

 

 

[AmyK]

Good that you feel stable, Hibari. Good luck with the cut. You will be ok. 

Hugs!