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Hibari: tapering Remeron and want to start tapering Lamictal


Hibari

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It is so annoying how I deal with daily nausea of varying intensity and extreme fatigue.  I can't believe how many times a day I will sit down on my couch and fall asleep.  

 

Having some temperature fluctuation and still holding from my last cut.  Sometimes I worry that I am drawing out my wd unnecessarily but at this point it's too risky to me to try and speed it up. 

 

My mood is okay, more irritable than anything.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I notice I'm irritable, too, and the fatigue is a downer. I totally understand worrying about drawing out wd unnecessarily but you are so right, Hibari. You have been pretty much on target all along and you have come SO FAR!

 

It really is too risky to try and speed things up. I am a perfect example of what happens to a person trying to speed things up. I was nauseous for so long and I should have known nausea was a good indication to hold or slow down.

 

I bought a graduated cylinder and make my own liquid up dosing to 25 mg. I am not nauseous for a change but still very tired which creates a low energy level that gets in the way of being vibrant and joyful.

 

Our day will come. If we just wait a while. No tears for us. Think love and wear a smile.

 

Sometimes the phrase "fake it till you make it" is helpful? Just a tiny bit? Maybe not.

 

I'm tired and weary.

 

Good healing to you,

L

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Hi Leahy,

 

Yes, we are getting there-it is what it is right now,   I actually feel that the Remeron doesn't do anything for me anymore except make me drowsy.  

 

I am looking to make some more micro cuts next week after I stabilize some more. 

 

I'm so glad you found a good method for tapering Leahy.  And your are probably lower than 25mgs because using a liquid.  You are getting there.

 

Thinking good thoughts for you!

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I have moved out of a fragile stability, a phrase I found on this site and I wish I could attribute it to the person who created it but I can't remember.   

 

For the most part the dual micro tapering of my meds has been working for me.   I am in a busy work time right now so I need to be super aware of how I feel as I go down. 

 

Lately I have had nausea when I take my Remeron, not sure why.    Has anyone had that experience?    It started happening when I hit the 15mg mark.  My initial thought was that it no longer works for my body but it still knocks me out at night.  Leahy suggested doing some research, which I will do. 

 

While my memory is getting better, my eyesight is still weird.  It started happening when I first started the Remeron.   I am taking some eye vitamins and hoping things will improve.

 

I can't say I am relaxed about tapering, more annoyed, but it is going along.    I know I want to make changes in my diet but at this point, with the daily low grade nausea, I am giving myself permission to eat what I want.  I eat pretty well but not so cleanly lately, some sugar, some dairy but not really motivated to eliminate them yet.

 

Overall okay but just  want to be off everything so I can access my health. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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One of those days where I feel like I am looking over the fence into other people's yards and the grass in much greener.

 

I had a check in with my psychiatrist today.  He actually is a really nice man and I shared with him that my mood overall was pretty good but that I was experiencing daily nausea, headaches, temperature fluctuation and days where I cried uncontrollably.  He was amazed that I would have 3 days in a row like that and I told him that it followed a pattern.   I said to tell his other patients that it does get better and that wd is real thing.  No real response from him but no dismissal either. 

 

My mood today is not based on wd, I don't think.  Feeling regret over choices not taken but I think it's because I'm tired.  I've been working a lot and my work is about helping other people. 

 

Even now, I'm going to sign off because I'm just too tired to keep writing. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Hang in there, Hibari. It is going to get better. I do think the mood is wd related. I think wd magnifies our regrets. These regrets keep appearing randomly and repeatedly. I often find myself saddened by regrets from the past I didn't ever think about before.

 

It's a real downer, can't be changed, and is not helpful at all as we struggle with tiredness, headache and nausea. It's feels like a losing battle. Sometimes all we can do is tread water.

 

Hang in there.

 

L

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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You are such a life support to me Leahy.

 

I hope you are getting sleep and handling your latest squeak down.

 

H

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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I have been in a pretty stable place these past 4 days.   My mood has been good and no real physical symptoms except for hot flashes in the morning. 

 

With out a doubt, acupuncture has really contributed to my healing.  I have had to educate both acupuncturists I work with, one for treatments and one for the customized Chinese formulas I take.   I have had to be very firm in my explanation on what medication wd is in order for them not to give me a standard Traditional Chinese Medicine response.  For example, I had a session today and this was for th

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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(hit post before I was done)

 

Today was for the Chinese formulas.  I told him I was feeling much better and that is was due to the work he was doing plus coming off the medication.  I said I felt like a cork had come out of bottle in terms of energy.   He said, and he has said this before.  You have always seemed to be in control before but I don't know you well.

 

 I corrected him again, and said,"Today I feel more of who I really am and this is what you are seeing.   The medication and the Lamictal in particular flattened my energy, it has kept my emotions pushed down.  He said, so the medication kept your personality down?".  I said, yes.    He seemed to finally take that in but we will see.   A

 

 I know he has believed that I have some kind of emotional pain that has caused my system to be weak.  AND he is wrong!  All I care about now is continuing to receive my formulas and treatment.  As they say in program, "Take what you like and leave the rest".  And I am. 

 

Grateful for this site.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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The fact that you have regained the strength to assert yourself like that is very impressive to me. It shows tremendous growth physically and mentally.

 

I especially like this part focusing in on the word "AGAIN" that you use! Ha! Hibari is not giving up. NO way! This is awesome.

 

"I corrected him again, and said,"Today I feel more of who I really am and this is what you are seeing.   The medication and the Lamictal in particular flattened my energy, it has kept my emotions pushed down.  He said, so the medication kept your personality down?".  I said, yes.    He seemed to finally take that in but we will see."

 

Remember when you said educating people is exhausting? You're right it is exhausting but you had a point to make here and you made that point. I love it!

 

Happy Thanksgiving, Hibari.

 

Leahy

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Thank you Leahy! 

 

How are you feeling?  

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Hibari

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Hi Hibari,

 

You sound pretty good at the moment ." Today I feel more of who I really am ".  :)  

 

I think educating other people  ( relatives/ Doctors etc. )  can be exhausting , as you have found, but the main thing is that you know the truth now .Therefore as long as you have the end goal  in sight , it doesn't matter so much what they think . Use them  ( Psych's & acupuncturists) , for your own purposes. If it's working well , keep it up . You don't need their validation . You know what is right for you.

 

Just my thoughts.  I think you are doing so well .

 

Hugs,

 

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Where are you with your cuts? I take lamictal and Remeron each night and wake up nauseous and anxious. Wondering which one may be causing the nausea.

I'm on 1800 mg of gabapentin 3x600, .325 Klonopin(.25 in am, .125 afternoon), in the evening I take cymbalta 30mg down from 60mg, remeron 30mg and lamictal 100 mg. Nausea and anxiety are my worst symptoms. C

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That's a really good question I wish I knew the answer to. I take Remeron and wake up nauseous and severe headaches which then last all day.  I had a good 8 days with no symptoms a couple of weeks ago. I have no idea why things change when I make no changes. I then take xanax to help me get some sleep through my sickness. Not happy about either one and I feel like I am making no progress. It is very discouraging. I don't know what I am doing wrong to wake up feeling so sick and in pain from the headache. My entire body feels sick from the stomach to the head. It's like a severe hangover of flu. Thanksgiving was very difficult and I feel bterrible also that I can't be "present" with my family.

 

Leahy

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Does it ease off toward the evening hours?

I'm on 1800 mg of gabapentin 3x600, .325 Klonopin(.25 in am, .125 afternoon), in the evening I take cymbalta 30mg down from 60mg, remeron 30mg and lamictal 100 mg. Nausea and anxiety are my worst symptoms. C

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What doses are you on now? Has l-theanine or inositol helped anyone?

I'm on 1800 mg of gabapentin 3x600, .325 Klonopin(.25 in am, .125 afternoon), in the evening I take cymbalta 30mg down from 60mg, remeron 30mg and lamictal 100 mg. Nausea and anxiety are my worst symptoms. C

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When I have a headache I have it all day.  This is most of the time for me. Only "real"sleep helps my headache to subside. It doesn't ease off until I can sleep again. 

 

I've tried L-theanine, inositol, melatonin, boswellia and many other supplements as I find research to suggest it might help. I'll think aha this will help me but no...The reality is nothing seems to help. I'll think what I'm doing is helping and then for no apparent reason the headache/nausea is back.

 

I am having difficulty getting below 25 mg remeron. I don't dare cut remeron when I feel so sick. It permeates my whole body. I wish i could figure it out. My pdoc says I am taking too long to decrease remeron. I am at a complete loss as to the answers. I am sick of being sick and tired and fat and cranky. Sorry I am not much help...

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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I am so sorry you are going through all this pain. Are you working? How do you push through the pain?

I have nausea and sometimes a headache. I hate the idea of feeling like this forever. I will be praying for you.

I'm on 1800 mg of gabapentin 3x600, .325 Klonopin(.25 in am, .125 afternoon), in the evening I take cymbalta 30mg down from 60mg, remeron 30mg and lamictal 100 mg. Nausea and anxiety are my worst symptoms. C

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Thank you, TMM. No, I am not working. I retired a year and a half ago. I know I could not perform at work feeling like this and the unpredictability of wd. My heart goes out to those who are doing this while working.

 

I'm pretty sure we will not feel like this forever. It just feels like forever while we are suffering.

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Where are you with your cuts? I take lamictal and Remeron each night and wake up nauseous and anxious. Wondering which one may be causing the nausea.

I wasn't sure if you were asking Leahy this but I will answer just in case. 

 

I take both Remeron and Lamictal at night as well.  I am micro tapering both drugs at the same time and after I make my cuts, I usually feel nauseous and have a headache the next few days.   I am feeling a little bit of that now and it usually means my cuts have caught up with me and I need to hold again. 

 

When I first started tapering the Lamictal, I did some of the first few cuts without touching my Remeron.  Major nausea and headaches.  Now that I do them both together, I'm not sure which one causes the physical symptoms the most but for me I think it's the Lamictal. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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When I have a headache I have it all day.  This is most of the time for me. Only "real"sleep helps my headache to subside. It doesn't ease off until I can sleep again. 

 

I've tried L-theanine, inositol, melatonin, boswellia and many other supplements as I find research to suggest it might help. I'll think aha this will help me but no...The reality is nothing seems to help. I'll think what I'm doing is helping and then for no apparent reason the headache/nausea is back.

 

I am having difficulty getting below 25 mg remeron. I don't dare cut remeron when I feel so sick. It permeates my whole body. I wish i could figure it out. My pdoc says I am taking too long to decrease remeron. I am at a complete loss as to the answers. I am sick of being sick and tired and fat and cranky. Sorry I am not much help...

Hi Leahy,  I am so sorry it's been a tough wd period for you.   I did have a period like that when I was trying to get below 28mgs and I kept hopping between 26, 27, 28.  I finally went back to 28mgs for about 5 days and then started down again.  It seemed to work.

 

You are not taking too long to taper because you were on a high dose for a long time,    I'm wondering if you are experiencing the peak of your wd symptoms right now and then will move into a more stable place.  I say this because I really feel you are in the thick of it and have been for the past days.  I believe you will stabilize and be able to start again. 

 

You are not alone and you will make it.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Hbari,

When you stabilize are you symptom free? What doses are you at now? How do you get through your nausea at work? Why are you cutting both drugs? Is L-theanine or inositol helping you? Is there anything to get you motivated? I'm stuck on the couch a lot which is quite disturbing to my family.

I'm on 1800 mg of gabapentin 3x600, .325 Klonopin(.25 in am, .125 afternoon), in the evening I take cymbalta 30mg down from 60mg, remeron 30mg and lamictal 100 mg. Nausea and anxiety are my worst symptoms. C

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Hibari and TMM,

 

This is so interesting that lamictal gave you more nausea than remeron. For me I would have to say it's the remeron. Maybe it's the med that our bodies feel the most "loss" of. Or maybe it's the one we've been on the longer amount of time. 

 

Hibari,

 

You're right, H. I have been teetering around 25 mg for a while now. I need to remember that graph that's on SA. Dropping below 30 is a straight drop. I suppose I am at my uh-oh spot.

 

TMM,

 

How long did it take to go from Cymbalta 60 mg to 30 mg? From reading the fb page Cymbalta Hurts Worse, and the pending lawsuit against Eli Lily, it sounds like a tough drug to taper off. Could that be the current culprit? I can't tell from you signature what the timing has been.

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Hbari,

When you stabilize are you symptom free? What doses are you at now? How do you get through your nausea at work? Why are you cutting both drugs? Is L-theanine or inositol helping you? Is there anything to get you motivated? I'm stuck on the couch a lot which is quite disturbing to my family.

Yes, almost symptom free-it takes about a week for that to happen with each day getting better and better.  I still am more tired than before I went on meds.

 

My doses are Remeron (liquid from a compounding pharmacy) 13.60mg-down from 41.25 and Lamictal 56.25 down from 200mgs.   

 

I have been drinking ginger ale for my nausea when I work.   I am micro cutting both drugs because (and these are only my reasons) I did not want to taper off one drug and then have to taper another.  I also had read on this site how other people had tapered more than one drug at a time and had been successful at it. 

 

I do take L-Theanine as needed-between 100-200mgs per capsule-up to 3x a day.     My motivation is up and down, being very tired is one of the symptoms of wd.

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Hibari and TMM,

 

This is so interesting that lamictal gave you more nausea than remeron. For me I would have to say it's the remeron. Maybe it's the med that our bodies feel the most "loss" of. Or maybe it's the one we've been on the longer amount of time. 

 

Hibari,

 

You're right, H. I have been teetering around 25 mg for a while now. I need to remember that graph that's on SA. Dropping below 30 is a straight drop. I suppose I am at my uh-oh spot.

 

Do you remember where that graph is Leahy?   I think you are right, you must be at that uh-oh spot.  I think you had one before and made it through? 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Hibari,

 

I think you might mean this graph from  :  Tapering - Why taper? paper demonstrates importance of gradual change in plasma concentration.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6036-why-taper-paper-demonstrates-importance-of-gradual-change-in-plasma-concentration/

 

I hope it's the one you meant.  If not , it's a good one to have a look at anyway.

 

Hugs,

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Yes, Ali, that link is where the graphs were presented. Thank you for posting that link. Very interesting information. When my brain is working better I will try to read it again.

 

The drop at minimum doses is linear so it does explain why tapering is essential. I wish my pdoc understood that. I have to forget about her rushing me and do what I need to do. It really irritates me that she says I'm going too slow when I am trying so hard.

 

I think making Thanksgiving dinner pushed me over the edge. All conditions need to be perfect for me to succeed. No staying up late, stress and working overtime. I feel a little bit better today. Back to liquid 25 mg.

 

Thanks, Hibari.

 

L

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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 When we feel so very low, we to think it will be like this forever; that we will never feel better. I have seen people writing exactly those sentiments so many times and I am one of them. The ill feelings bring on a fear of never getting better which of course makes everything feel so hopeless.

 

But now that I do feel better after some very rough days, I realize there is hope. With a little help from my friends.

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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I am so glad you are feeling better Leahy.   I am holding the intention for you that you are going into stabilizing. 

 

I am having a rough two days-very emotional.   What you said above " I think making Thanksgiving dinner pushed me over the edge. All conditions need to be perfect for me to succeed. No staying up late, stress and working overtime" really resonated with me.   I have to be very attentive to my self care or else I feel much worse going through wd.

 

My wd has peaked from Thanksgiving till now.  I know part of it is what the holidays bring up for me, loss and grief about the lack of familiy ties and the other part is just this need to cry because I am in wd.  I feel strong underneath all these tears but my emotions are stuck in my body.  My neck is tense and I know it's because I need to cry.   So upset that I'm upset and that I have to go through this. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment

Hibari,

 

I think it's amazing how well you do with tapering two difficult medications. The holidays are notorious for bringing up loss and grief particularly over family ties. I dread it. At this time of year I am sorry I am the adult and basically "head" of my small family (3 of us). As much as I try I can't make my son happy at Christmas. He wants a BIG family filled with drunk uncles and jolly laughter.

 

My mother died long ago but I still miss her every day. Father also passed. My brother steals from me. My sister lies about/to me set on hurting me as much as possible. Always has. Really. I don't bother with either one anymore. But when I used to pretend my family was OK, it really wasn't anyway. Still, all of that is a loss.

 

Ha! See how Christmas can elicit negative emotions. Be like Taylor Swift and Shake it Off, shake it off. I'm not sure which holiday you celebrate but I bet it's Christmas. Nothing raises unrealistic expectations, delivering more pain and suffering than that day can. If it the christmas season, remember it is only one day and this, too, shall pass.

 

Hibari, I'll bet you are looking so wonderful these days with your new haircut. I bet your skin is glowing and you're body is renewing, growing younger as you are healing and making beautiful new cells everywhere. Your hair is growing in stronger and shinier than before. The body swelling has probably slowed down and you are getting your body back, too. These are good times! You are almost there now...

 

As my ruminating thoughts often spirals down to events/action I am embarrassed about and regret. I cringe but try to remind myself to:

 

"Nurture who you are now. As best you can each day. Nurture who you are now."

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Hibari,

 

I think you might mean this graph from  :  Tapering - Why taper? paper demonstrates importance of gradual change in plasma concentration.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6036-why-taper-paper-demonstrates-importance-of-gradual-change-in-plasma-concentration/

 

I hope it's the one you meant.  If not , it's a good one to have a look at anyway.

 

Hugs,

Ali

Thanks Ali. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

Link to comment

Hibari,

 

I think it's amazing how well you do with tapering two difficult medications. The holidays are notorious for bringing up loss and grief particularly over family ties. I dread it. At this time of year I am sorry I am the adult and basically "head" of my small family (3 of us). As much as I try I can't make my son happy at Christmas. He wants a BIG family filled with drunk uncles and jolly laughter.

 

My mother died long ago but I still miss her every day. Father also passed. My brother steals from me. My sister lies about/to me set on hurting me as much as possible. Always has. Really. I don't bother with either one anymore. But when I used to pretend my family was OK, it really wasn't anyway. Still, all of that is a loss.

 

Ha! See how Christmas can elicit negative emotions. Be like Taylor Swift and Shake it Off, shake it off. I'm not sure which holiday you celebrate but I bet it's Christmas. Nothing raises unrealistic expectations, delivering more pain and suffering than that day can. If it the christmas season, remember it is only one day and this, too, shall pass.

 

Hibari, I'll bet you are looking so wonderful these days with your new haircut. I bet your skin is glowing and you're body is renewing, growing younger as you are healing and making beautiful new cells everywhere. Your hair is growing in stronger and shinier than before. The body swelling has probably slowed down and you are getting your body back, too. These are good times! You are almost there now...

 

As my ruminating thoughts often spirals down to events/action I am embarrassed about and regret. I cringe but try to remind myself to:

 

"Nurture who you are now. As best you can each day. Nurture who you are now."

Thank you Leahy.  Sometimes I think I have made things more difficult for myself by taking the time I am to taper.  But it is two drugs and you are right, they are both very difficult. 

 

My mom died 3 years ago and I think of her every day.  Some of the memories are sweet though she was very unhappy the last years of her life.  She wasn't easy even when I was a child but since I've been going to Alanon, I understand more and more that being a daughter of an alcoholic, the way my mother was, had a huge impact on her life. 

 

I just carry with me the sorrow that my mother was over medicated at the end of her life and I was too overwhelmed with her care taking to understand everything.  I am remembering these days that my mom has lost a lot of weight due to a fall and they put her on Remeron.   I think it affected her cognitive abilities even more but I didn't know anything about medication at that point.

 

My skin is glowing Leahy! :)   I am really working on taking good care of it and I had booked a series of facials awhile back and I go once a month.  The person I go to is really good and has gotten me on a good path.  The body, well that still is a work in progress.  But I am due for a haircut and that should make me feel better.

 

I'm sorry your brother and sister have treated you badly.   It sounds like not be in touch with them has been the best choice.   I heard someone say this a few months back and bear with me if I have already posted this (memory stuff).   They said they had a sign over their door.  "Friends welcome.  Family by appointment only". 

 

Thank you for your friendship Leahy, that is really the gift for me this holiday season. 

 

H

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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Gee, back when your mom was losing weight any "good" doctor would have prescribed Remeron. Any "good" doctor probably still would to this day. We surely had no idea about the cognitive damages Remeron would cause, among many other damages we don't know about yet. You were such a good daughter to your mother doing the best you could with what you had to work with at the time.

 

I understand Alanon being a member myself. My father was an alcoholic and I will very rarely mention him. My issues about him are unspeakable. My mother left me to "grow up" with a parent no one child deserves. Yes, Alanon is a good thing. I should go to a meeting.

 

I mention these things to let you know I understand pain. I understand difficult childhoods. I understand mixed emotions. I understand pain and sorrow. I understand hate and anger. I understand love. I understand how we can beat ourselves up incessantly. Sometimes understandings seem to come too late. But when understandings do come... then it's time to practice extreme self care emotionally too

 

We are here now. Nurture who you are today so you can be the best you and nurture those who love you - especially yourself.

 

You really are doing such a great job. I'm so proud of you - how hard you work, how much you've grown, how you never give up, how you manage to work and manage wd and keep on getting better every day. 

 

I am so pleased my friendship could be a gift to you Hibari. You're friendship is the gift for me this season.

 

L

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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Thanks Leahy.

 

Today is just a day of sadness.  I feel completely helpless about what I am going through right now.  I can't concentrate on any creative projects and just feel so down and sad. 

 

One of those days where I feel like I will be here forever.    My mind is not letting me know that there is another way of thinking.  Just going to hang on and do my best. 

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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It will get better. I promise.

2001-2007 Rem 90 mg, xanax 2 mg synthroid 112mcg - 2007-2014 Rem 60 mg xanax 3-4 mg

2015   Feb Rem 45 mg xanax 2 mg, March Rem 30 xanax 2, April  Rem 22.5, May Rem 30  xanax .25x4 hrs, June Rem 26 xanax 2-3, July Rem 22.5 xanax 2, Aug Rem 15 xanax 2, Sept Rem 22 xanax 2, Oct Rem 18 mg xanax .25 mg /4 hrs, Nov Rem 23 mg xanax .5mg, Dec Rem 24 xanax 2 

2016  Jan Rem 20 xanax 2,  Feb Rem 18 mg xanax 1.5, Feb Rem 14 12 mg xanax 1 mg, March Rem 10 9 mg xanax 1-2 mg Rem 7.3 8 xanax 1-2, April Rem 10 12 mg xanax 2 mg, May Rem 11 xanax 1 .75mg Nov Rem 10mg Xanax 2mg 2017 May Rem 10.25 Xanax 1 mg, November Xanax 1mg

 

 

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It did.   At around 5:30, something lifted and I was so surprised.    It was like my mind clicked on something.  I kept telling myself all day, "this is wd, this is wd and the way you know that is that you have a slight headache and slight nausea".   I didn't have headaches and naseau when I was anxious and depressed, in fact I couldn't eat anything.

 

I don't know if my brain was able to make sense of something or it grew some new synapses while I was walking the dog but something clicked and lifted.  I still have a thread of sadness but nothing like I was feeling earlier.

 

You did promise Leahy and it happened. :)

9/2013-4/2014:  After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro,  Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 

1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs  

1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs

7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 

3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021  Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free 

July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 

9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize

10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 

2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6  6/16 3.4  6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7  7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0  9/5 1.8  9/16 1.6  9/30 1.4  10/13 1.2  10/26 1.0  11/9 0.8  11/22 0.6  12/6 0.4  12/23 0.2.

2024 1/4/24  Remeron/Mirtazapine free 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs,  L-theanine 

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