Posted 23 April 2017 - 08:50 AM
I was talking with a friend of mine about this idea of the "middle part of any journey". This is where the not so pretty, sludgey work happens till you get to the end. I said to her that one of the most frustrating mental parts of wd is that awareness doesn't always bring relief. What I meant was that when I am in emotional pain, I find relief once I understand why I am in emotional pain. My body and mind relax.
But with withdrawal, awareness doesn't take away the ongoing symptoms. It's like saying, "Oh, that's why I am in such pain", and then still being in pain. I have always felt that the mental/brain compromise piece of wd is what makes it so tough for me. I can't rely on my brain to help me through all the time. I'm aware that I am fine underneath but then still have to cope with a low grade down feeling, nausea and stuffy head.
It's only been 17 days since I stopped Remeron and while I am certainly functional and out in the world, I am not feeling like a well person.
September 2013-April 2014: After the death of my mom in July 2012.-became very depressed in September of 2013. Given a series of antidepressants very quickly from about 4 different psychiatrists in a 6 month period. Each one was from 1 day to 10 days at the most. My body could not handle it-I had Zoloft 4 days, Lexapro-1 day, Nortriptyline-10 days, Liquid Prozac, 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.
December 2013-September 2014: Put on Xanax after a reaction to the Lexapro, averaging .50-1mg per day. Switched to Clonazepam-midway averaging about 0.25-0.50 daily.
June 2014: Jan/Feb 2015: Put on 7.5 Remeron titrate up to 41.25mgs
September 2014-July 2015: Put on 25mgs of Lamictal titrate up to 200mgs daily. Also stopped the Clonzepam- never felt the wd I had experienced when I tried to stop it before (knowing nothing about withdrawal) because the Lamictal calmed me down.
Currently: Tapering both medications together using micro cuts. Started tapering Remeron in January 2015, Started tapering Lamictal July 2015 Main wd symptoms-sweating, nausea, headaches, deep crying, anxiety. 12/21/16 Remeron 1.6 Lamictal 22.50 mgs 1/19/17 Remeron 1.2mgs, Lamictal 22.50mg 2/12/17 Remeron 1.2 Lamictal 21.25 mgs 3/4/17 Remeron 0.85 Lamictal 21.25 3/14 Remeron 0.85 Lamictal 20mgs 3/22 Remeron 0.45 Lamictal 20mg 3/25 Remeron 0.45 Lamictal 18.75mgs 3/30 Remeron 0.025 4/7 Lamictal 18.75mgs Remeron 0.025
4/7/2017 Remeron Free stopped at 0.025mgs
Additional Support: Acupuncture with Reflexology, Alanon, L-Theanine for anxiety as needed, Estradial patch 0.025, Bio-indentical Progesterone cream 150-200 Armour Thyroid 90mgs.