Sounds like a hard day.
I was just reading your signature and noticed all the changes with the Remeron. You've been up and down, even though it's in small amounts...and switched to liquid, plus altered your hormones, and have done a number of different supplements. I'm not an expert on this, but seems like all of that could contribute to more instability.
But, I'd also say I've found it impossible to distinguish at times what is grief and what is WD. I had a lot of anger and rage, plus sadness, and a whole range of other feelings after my wife died. I was on a board with other widows, so know that we were all going through very similar stuff. And it would often strike out of the blue the way WD symptoms do. I'd latch onto something or other from the past or what someone said to me, or the way the person in front of me was driving...and off I'd go, sometimes for hours at a time. My thoughts were crazy at times too--the same as people describe on here.
I started tapering about a year and a half after she died...then, I couldn't tell what was wd and what part was grief. I think they were likely mixed together....and maybe one more than another at times. As I said, anniversary or holidays are especially heightened..and you said this was the time your mother went into hospice care. I'd suspect that is fueling things as well.
Have you been able to talk with someone about your grief? I'm thinking that most hospices provide counseling for family members after a death...and there is often group support as well. It could be helpful with that piece of things.
You probably already know this, but when someone dies, all the unsaid things come up...all the ways we've given ourselves away..regrets, everything really. It's not pretty, but it's part of the process of healing. It's very normal to be angry, even under better circumstances than you've described with your mother. I was furious with my wife, the doctors, with family, friends, and everyone who was going on with life, while I was trapped in this state of limbo and so much pain. I could barely tolerate being around people, maybe even worse than in wd. Everything grated on me.
In a way, what matters most is how we lean into whatever is coming up...and not so much the source of it. We can make ourselves crazy and unstable by chasing the symptoms or pushing them away or trying to figure it all out. What things can help you meet what's arising? Or distract from it at times, to give yourself a break. Some things we need to find our way through, however unpleasant...but it helps having some ways of working with what comes up.