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btdt

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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How to be good to your brain. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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Have to say disagree with depression treatment unless he means taking fish oil... but the rest sounds good. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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Every doctor looks psychiatrists guess he said this here same guy as above a shrink spec scan of folks on benzo look like alcoholics he says that too depression scans high activity and low activity - antidepressants do not work... depression is a symptom he says that too... 

 

calls other shrinks the flat earth club... 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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his website

http://www.mybrainfitlife.com/

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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Hopefull Rookie

Hopefull

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Great video.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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diet 

by the brain doctors wife

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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female brain including hormones

same guy

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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Your welcome. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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InvisibleUnless Newbie

InvisibleUnless

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and here was me clicking and hoping from the title that this was a thread for signing up to exchange brains...

from 2005-2012, i spent 7 years taking 17 different psychotropic medications covering several classes.  i would be taking 3-7 medications at a time, and 6 out of the 17 medications listed below were maxed or overmaxed in clinical dosage before i moved on to trying the next unhelpful cocktail.
 
antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, tetracyclics): zoloft, wellbutrin, effexor, lexapro, prozac, cymbalta, remeron
antipsychotics (atypical): abilify, zyprexa, risperdal, geodon
sleep aids (benzos, off-label antidepressants & antipsychotics, hypnotics): seroquel, temazepam, trazodone, ambien
anxiolytics: buspar
anticonvulsants: topamax
 
i tapered off all psychotropics from late 2011 through early 2013, one by one.  since quitting, ive been cycling through severe, disabling withdrawal symptoms spanning the gamut of the serious, less serious, and rather worrisome side effects of these assorted medications.  previous cross-tapering and medication or dosage changes had also caused undiagnosed withdrawal symptoms.
 
brainpan addlepation

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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wow wouldn't that be great like getting a new hard drive and just download what you need :) 

 

I could not find your home page here... ?  I know it is me.

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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InvisibleUnless Newbie

InvisibleUnless

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thats the tricky thing, really...  each person is like their own type of storage medium instead of just their own version of a single kind.  brain-mapping and neurosurgery and other things cant really describe to us the differences in experience because each brain sort of creates itself as a new technology.

 

i have a thread, somewhere, id imagine, but its never updated.

from 2005-2012, i spent 7 years taking 17 different psychotropic medications covering several classes.  i would be taking 3-7 medications at a time, and 6 out of the 17 medications listed below were maxed or overmaxed in clinical dosage before i moved on to trying the next unhelpful cocktail.
 
antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, tetracyclics): zoloft, wellbutrin, effexor, lexapro, prozac, cymbalta, remeron
antipsychotics (atypical): abilify, zyprexa, risperdal, geodon
sleep aids (benzos, off-label antidepressants & antipsychotics, hypnotics): seroquel, temazepam, trazodone, ambien
anxiolytics: buspar
anticonvulsants: topamax
 
i tapered off all psychotropics from late 2011 through early 2013, one by one.  since quitting, ive been cycling through severe, disabling withdrawal symptoms spanning the gamut of the serious, less serious, and rather worrisome side effects of these assorted medications.  previous cross-tapering and medication or dosage changes had also caused undiagnosed withdrawal symptoms.
 
brainpan addlepation

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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Would that not be more like soft ware as we know there are basics .. I read this book one time oh here we go with the memory.. churchill churchland something like that 

it was a good book explaining the connections in the brain how everything they suspected about the brains connections turned out to be incorrect... 

I read it a long time ago before 2012 when my brain was kind of working ok.  The connections bounced all over the place with not only chemical reactions but electrical and if I am not mistaken a mixture of both... not sure about that last one.. was a good read... I miss the part of me that could digest information...but that is the nature of the breast maybe next month or next year I will be back. I hope so. 

 

So I think I get what you mean the nitty gritty is all custom made. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt Newbie

btdt

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According to the input and life experiences of the individual... so what does that leave us with after all these drugs.. we are an experiment I wonder if they will collect our brain for research when we die... and never tall anyone. You know keep adding to that vault of information they never have to share because it is proprietary

ok creeping myself out I am done. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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InvisibleUnless Newbie

InvisibleUnless

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i was meaning that our fundamental differences as human beings, in terms of biological function, are so different that its more than just 'operating system' or 'software'---its hardware.  for instance, hard drives for computers mostly come in two different kinds---solid state (flash memory) and optical drives (the magnetic discs and whatnot).  both of these mediums allow you to store chunks of data ('bits') in a uniform way so you can transfer data between those two different kinds of drives, and access that data using software installed on either kind of hard drive.

 

human brains are so complex in their functioning, both due to genes/personality as well as choices/growth, that i dont think its accurate to propose that we are so similar that data can be reliably and uniformly transferred between individuals.  we often build interfaces for communicating and translating, or find individuals who think more like we do so we dont have to really dictate the parameters of our communications anywhere near as often as we would with the average person, but people, i feel, excel at their various interests and fields of success largely because they have modified themselves neuronally (or been gifted with an architecture more suited to particular abilities or tasks).  different people literally store and process information differently, on the biological level.

 

creativity, insanity, insight, brilliance, etc are often resulting from someones wiring being so radically different that they can offer humanity something beyond the scope of the average/more bio-conforming individual.  theres evolutionary benefit, but only when its the minority of people, otherwise the insightfulness could not offer a new perspective, or the deficits that are mandated by specialized functioning would create a society that is unable to efficiently accomplish some of the more rudimentary survival tasks.  i think everyone has something unique and meaningful to offer...thats how evolution works.  so its not a matter of making a system that values or uses those abilities, but rather finding our natural place in the systems that already transcend social structures designed to keep us isolated.

from 2005-2012, i spent 7 years taking 17 different psychotropic medications covering several classes.  i would be taking 3-7 medications at a time, and 6 out of the 17 medications listed below were maxed or overmaxed in clinical dosage before i moved on to trying the next unhelpful cocktail.
 
antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, tetracyclics): zoloft, wellbutrin, effexor, lexapro, prozac, cymbalta, remeron
antipsychotics (atypical): abilify, zyprexa, risperdal, geodon
sleep aids (benzos, off-label antidepressants & antipsychotics, hypnotics): seroquel, temazepam, trazodone, ambien
anxiolytics: buspar
anticonvulsants: topamax
 
i tapered off all psychotropics from late 2011 through early 2013, one by one.  since quitting, ive been cycling through severe, disabling withdrawal symptoms spanning the gamut of the serious, less serious, and rather worrisome side effects of these assorted medications.  previous cross-tapering and medication or dosage changes had also caused undiagnosed withdrawal symptoms.
 
brainpan addlepation

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westcoast Newbie

westcoast

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I struggled to change the bedsheets yesterday. Brain maybe next week.

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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RubyTuesday Newbie

RubyTuesday

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it is a good thing I read this guy's book right before I decided to get off psych meds, otherwise i never would have the courage to face the brain impairment. as it was though, i knew that the brain is self repairing.

2002: "Situational depression" 2002-2010:Prozac.Birth Control.2011 Short trials: Paxil, Celexa, Lexipro, Wellbutrin, Xanax, Ativan- Gee, Doc never mentioned protracted AD wd syndrome. Imagine that. 2011-2015. Lamictal. Seroquel. Remiron. 2012: "Complex post traumatic stress disorder." Fast taper of Remiron jumped off June 2013. Slow tapers ever since of Seroquel & Lamictal.  crippling muscle spasms. crying fits. panic attacks. akathisia. nerve twitches. the jitters. the heebie jeebies. de-personal/realization. numbness. tingling. fatigue. lethargy. nightmares.insomnia. weird images. eye pain.vertigo. dizziness. brain zaps. and on and on and on. withdrawal? side effects? which drug? impossible to know. Stopped Seroquel October 2015.  Stopped Lamictal  March 2016. Had more severe muscle/joint spasms that paralyzed me for 3 days at a time, last episode was March 2017.Going back to work as of February 2018 after 14 years off full-time work due to the crippling effects of psych meds. Check out Robert Whittaker "Anatomy of an Epidemic" for  his breakdown of the rates of mental disability  since the introduction of Prozac into the human population. Best solutions for me: Social support via AA meetings. Acupuncture. Meditation. Dance. Nature. Yoga. Social support online with psych med survivor community. Nutrition. Exercise. More outdoor time. Go sit in the sunshine for 5 minutes. Touch a tree. Breathe deeply.

 

 

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btdt

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i was meaning that our fundamental differences as human beings, in terms of biological function, are so different that its more than just 'operating system' or 'software'---its hardware.  for instance, hard drives for computers mostly come in two different kinds---solid state (flash memory) and optical drives (the magnetic discs and whatnot).  both of these mediums allow you to store chunks of data ('bits') in a uniform way so you can transfer data between those two different kinds of drives, and access that data using software installed on either kind of hard drive.

 

human brains are so complex in their functioning, both due to genes/personality as well as choices/growth, that i dont think its accurate to propose that we are so similar that data can be reliably and uniformly transferred between individuals.  we often build interfaces for communicating and translating, or find individuals who think more like we do so we dont have to really dictate the parameters of our communications anywhere near as often as we would with the average person, but people, i feel, excel at their various interests and fields of success largely because they have modified themselves neuronally (or been gifted with an architecture more suited to particular abilities or tasks).  different people literally store and process information differently, on the biological level.

 

creativity, insanity, insight, brilliance, etc are often resulting from someones wiring being so radically different that they can offer humanity something beyond the scope of the average/more bio-conforming individual.  theres evolutionary benefit, but only when its the minority of people, otherwise the insightfulness could not offer a new perspective, or the deficits that are mandated by specialized functioning would create a society that is unable to efficiently accomplish some of the more rudimentary survival tasks.  i think everyone has something unique and meaningful to offer...thats how evolution works.  so its not a matter of making a system that values or uses those abilities, but rather finding our natural place in the systems that already transcend social structures designed to keep us isolated.

I get it now we have different storage and likely operating systems too... apple and ms... different ... corel and word different. 

 

They cannot communicate they will never understand each other... like a taker and a giver can't quite get the other one. 

 

Born with specialized brain function I get that too I was tested to have a nack for spacial relations so what type of work I would excel at was nudge to study in that direction. 

this explains it

http://work.chron.com/jobs-related-spatial-intelligences-8847.html

 

I did study in this line and it went well till a was in mva  kind of screwed that up getting into a car accident ... so did menial jobs some I got fired from at this time too... ya a bad spot. I had a concussion and I learned things healing from that experience that gave me an edge with the next career I took up disabled children... I had a nack for that too.

 

The job I wanted had a lot of applicants who had university degrees and more experience than I did (if you don't count mother hoods 24/7 on the job training)  they offered great benefits I needed for my son and I ... at the time I had two jobs already to make ends join but this job meant I could quit both the others. 

 

The interviewing was an actual process... testing.. skills questions health safety mostly common sense. This area is so varied with different syndromes it would not matter how much education you have you have to learn anew for each child it is one on one intensive study... day in day out with one day of the wk for training we compulsory... with access to the top specialists in each area for each child we work with ... any problems were brought back to the group of 35-40 skilled people who had been doing the job for years... and a boss who also taught university students so she had a knack for teaching... 

 

It was perfect but i did not have a chance in hell or so I thought.. but I did get the job :) one of the best days of my life when I heard those words... sometimes the sun can really shine hot and sweet. 

 

This job required different skills and different ideas on what was marketable and useful... in part because of my experience with concussion I fit as we never know how a child is perceiving the world or you... relationship is the door in if you have no relationship you can't get in your skills are useless..just like getting us to take the drugs first we have to be sold a bill of goods we had to believe we had to trust... so the ability to do relationship with a child was essential.  Safety I had from having my own child as well as other skills... caring.. drama busting... patients... energy control so I could feed them the proper energy as kids pickup on that first... so many things were different from this job to the one I was training to do. I had to ask why how I got the job ... I did this after a long time working when I was at a convention sitting with the big cheese it popped out of my mouth... 

 

I was told I had the knack for it I was a naturally empathetic and my instincts were on the money... I have to say this is the only job I was paid to do that I would have done for free. 

 

Life changes us we get a different skill set based on experience. 

 

For all things in life intelligence is needed if we feel our brains are impaired we will not do as well .. this is one common theme... if you can't learn and can't remember you cannot thrive. 

 

So while our brains may be all different some common damage seemingly affects us all the same way... tho we can see it and try to describe it we do not know exactly how to fix it. What we are describing is the effects not the broken bits the ability to scan the brain is one idea to actually see the damage that we describe in functional terms.  I would like to see such a study out of curiosity rather it would help us to heal is another matter entirely.  Still I would like to see it. 

 

Oddly enough the biology of being human while so vastly different always has a common thread .. as in what happens when you break it with a certain thing... like smashing a window with a hammer the glass will break in different patterns in different ways I could use a million words to describe the variances but I won't as you know what I mean... but after hitting the window with a hammer we all know what the results will be... the glass will be broken. 

 

it is kind of like that only different. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt

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I struggled to change the bedsheets yesterday. Brain maybe next week.

 

I wondered where you were... I thought you were off working on your blog or discovering new things .. walking the dogs maybe enjoying the sun... what is the bed sheet thing... what was the struggle physical or otherwise will or other issues... sometimes I can't make msyelf do things I know I should as I can't seem to make myself move ... I just can't do it I don't know what that is called.. a failing of the will I use to be able to will myself to do things I did not want to do cause they needed doing ... not now.  at times I am immobile I can't force myself... 

 

Like you say maybe next wk.. when lost hug your god... I went to say dog but it came out back wards so I just left it in case there is special meaning in that accident for you... as in it was not acciental at all but me picking on on what you need without even knowing i am doign it... 

ya I am a bit of a nutter... I believe some things happen for a reason some things that are beyond our knowing or our abiltiy to know... tried out have to go I wish you 

PEACE!

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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I hope so, B. (things 4 a reason)

 

I dont have a red flag on my mail thing but maybe I owe u a reply!  I've been around and doing the usual data dives. found a study of mice given ritalin for a few weeks. 5 months later some of them had neurons acting like they had had Ritalin that day. i wonder if they tried that with our drugs. know how drugs have numbers before they get names like venlafaxine and Effexor? maybe I can find. or maybe the sociopaths keep the studies in-house. i think I posted Grace's link in another thread btw. Saw your topic and will read it. thanks. she seems REALLY smart. It looks like she is now n Arizona btw.

 

w

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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btdt

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Sometimes there is mail and the flag does not go up :) 

She is a long way away from me... not that I have any money to pay her anyway but I sure would like to get an opinion from her.

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt - that is a really great story, and i agree with you on all points.  we are very function-oriented...theres always a place we can apply ourselves, and we can find commonalities with other human beings based on how we apply our functional skills, even if we cant always know how the other person is thinking.

 

you are indeed a motherly seeming figure, and i think a company would be idiotic to hire degree-trained people that dont have the experience and emotional touch of someone who has spent a good amount of time 'fighting in the trenches', as it were.  universities these days are just pyramids schemes.  you can encounter some cool knowledge, friends, and professors, but the institutions exist to take your money so you can go take the money of other people, and all for a social situation that could work just as well without universities at all, as you have proven your own self.

 

westcoast - laundry is one of the most difficult things in my life sometimes.  i go weeks without washing, and luckily have enough stored up to pull it off most times.  the mental and physical energy coupled with the fatigue, cramping, spasms, and concentration issues make laundry one of the most frustrating things, especially due to how simple it seems.  i applied for social security in-home care so maybe i can have transportation to buy groceries or pre-cooked food, and maybe ill get some help with laundry, but itd make me feel like a fuckin bum.

from 2005-2012, i spent 7 years taking 17 different psychotropic medications covering several classes.  i would be taking 3-7 medications at a time, and 6 out of the 17 medications listed below were maxed or overmaxed in clinical dosage before i moved on to trying the next unhelpful cocktail.
 
antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs, NDRIs, tetracyclics): zoloft, wellbutrin, effexor, lexapro, prozac, cymbalta, remeron
antipsychotics (atypical): abilify, zyprexa, risperdal, geodon
sleep aids (benzos, off-label antidepressants & antipsychotics, hypnotics): seroquel, temazepam, trazodone, ambien
anxiolytics: buspar
anticonvulsants: topamax
 
i tapered off all psychotropics from late 2011 through early 2013, one by one.  since quitting, ive been cycling through severe, disabling withdrawal symptoms spanning the gamut of the serious, less serious, and rather worrisome side effects of these assorted medications.  previous cross-tapering and medication or dosage changes had also caused undiagnosed withdrawal symptoms.
 
brainpan addlepation

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westcoast

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UI, I hope you can get that help. If you feel like a bum, try to enjoy feeling like a bum.What's the alternative? You're not ripping anyone off. The people who had the job of preventing drug damage and didn't do it are the bums, and the taxpayer gets to pay for the mop-up.

 

BT, it was a nice story. I can see that knack in your posts on this site. Fearless but not aggressive. And open, while knowing your limits.

 

WC

2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink.

2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ...

Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.
2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures.

:o 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years.

I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body.

2015: I  began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning.

I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral.

And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. 

I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up.

In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body.   :unsure:

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btdt

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i was meaning that our fundamental differences as human beings, in terms of biological function, are so different that its more than just 'operating system' or 'software'---its hardware.  for instance, hard drives for computers mostly come in two different kinds---solid state (flash memory) and optical drives (the magnetic discs and whatnot).  both of these mediums allow you to store chunks of data ('bits') in a uniform way so you can transfer data between those two different kinds of drives, and access that data using software installed on either kind of hard drive.

 

human brains are so complex in their functioning, both due to genes/personality as well as choices/growth, that i dont think its accurate to propose that we are so similar that data can be reliably and uniformly transferred between individuals.  we often build interfaces for communicating and translating, or find individuals who think more like we do so we dont have to really dictate the parameters of our communications anywhere near as often as we would with the average person, but people, i feel, excel at their various interests and fields of success largely because they have modified themselves neuronally (or been gifted with an architecture more suited to particular abilities or tasks).  different people literally store and process information differently, on the biological level.

 

creativity, insanity, insight, brilliance, etc are often resulting from someones wiring being so radically different that they can offer humanity something beyond the scope of the average/more bio-conforming individual.  theres evolutionary benefit, but only when its the minority of people, otherwise the insightfulness could not offer a new perspective, or the deficits that are mandated by specialized functioning would create a society that is unable to efficiently accomplish some of the more rudimentary survival tasks.  i think everyone has something unique and meaningful to offer...thats how evolution works.  so its not a matter of making a system that values or uses those abilities, but rather finding our natural place in the systems that already transcend social structures designed to keep us isolated.

I get it now we have different storage and likely operating systems too... apple and ms... different ... corel and word different. 

 

They cannot communicate they will never understand each other... like a taker and a giver can't quite get the other one. 

 

Born with specialized brain function I get that too I was tested to have a nack for spacial relations so what type of work I would excel at was nudge to study in that direction. 

this explains it

http://work.chron.com/jobs-related-spatial-intelligences-8847.html

 

I did study in this line and it went well till a was in mva  kind of screwed that up getting into a car accident ... so did menial jobs some I got fired from at this time too... ya a bad spot. I had a concussion and I learned things healing from that experience that gave me an edge with the next career I took up disabled children... I had a nack for that too.

 

The job I wanted had a lot of applicants who had university degrees and more experience than I did (if you don't count mother hoods 24/7 on the job training)  they offered great benefits I needed for my son and I ... at the time I had two jobs already to make ends join but this job meant I could quit both the others. 

 

The interviewing was an actual process... testing.. skills questions health safety mostly common sense. This area is so varied with different syndromes it would not matter how much education you have you have to learn anew for each child it is one on one intensive study... day in day out with one day of the wk for training we compulsory... with access to the top specialists in each area for each child we work with ... any problems were brought back to the group of 35-40 skilled people who had been doing the job for years... and a boss who also taught university students so she had a knack for teaching... 

 

It was perfect but i did not have a chance in hell or so I thought.. but I did get the job :) one of the best days of my life when I heard those words... sometimes the sun can really shine hot and sweet. 

 

This job required different skills and different ideas on what was marketable and useful... in part because of my experience with concussion I fit as we never know how a child is perceiving the world or you... relationship is the door in if you have no relationship you can't get in your skills are useless..just like getting us to take the drugs first we have to be sold a bill of goods we had to believe we had to trust... so the ability to do relationship with a child was essential.  Safety I had from having my own child as well as other skills... caring.. drama busting... patients... energy control so I could feed them the proper energy as kids pickup on that first... so many things were different from this job to the one I was training to do. I had to ask why how I got the job ... I did this after a long time working when I was at a convention sitting with the big cheese it popped out of my mouth... 

 

I was told I had the knack for it I was a naturally empathetic and my instincts were on the money... I have to say this is the only job I was paid to do that I would have done for free. 

 

Life changes us we get a different skill set based on experience. 

 

For all things in life intelligence is needed if we feel our brains are impaired we will not do as well .. this is one common theme... if you can't learn and can't remember you cannot thrive. 

 

So while our brains may be all different some common damage seemingly affects us all the same way... tho we can see it and try to describe it we do not know exactly how to fix it. What we are describing is the effects not the broken bits the ability to scan the brain is one idea to actually see the damage that we describe in functional terms.  I would like to see such a study out of curiosity rather it would help us to heal is another matter entirely.  Still I would like to see it. 

 

Oddly enough the biology of being human while so vastly different always has a common thread .. as in what happens when you break it with a certain thing... like smashing a window with a hammer the glass will break in different patterns in different ways I could use a million words to describe the variances but I won't as you know what I mean... but after hitting the window with a hammer we all know what the results will be... the glass will be broken. 

 

it is kind of like that only different. 

 

The job working with the kids was perfect for me had an amazing reputation and a lot of pull... bet it still does.  They actually get results which is something you do see a lot of... kids bloom there no matter their problems it was integrated with "normal" kids in a large system in a large area of many cities.  One place where you would find single mothers walking strollers and bmw at 7am as doctors brought their kids and some kids had been abused and came under protection orders by the courts.. so we could keep an eye on them and work with them while parents went to parenting programs.

It was a good mix a change in the gov't of the day meant a change in financial support meant my job was cut.  :(

This was all before I took any psych drugs.

I still could work there in that city by throwing the organizations name around... but I had to move when my mother got cancer and the next city did not recognize my experience ...indeed had not program in the scope of previous city... I talked a different language they did not understand me... I hated what I seen them doing with kids they were so behind. I ended up working respite so got to see how they operate with the kids in my care. 

I could not find work in the next city not well paying but I did work my way into respite for disabled kids hired by parents on the gov'ts dime... I had the most disabled kids based on my experience ... one was in an abusive home... rough go... the other had a perfect situation except for parent burn out and break down. It ended up them both wanting me... too much I did not have enough time for a life for me...it did not pay enough... and I said so was going to quit... they doubled my salary... still could not get home it was a 24/7 job. 

When you can't keep up... take some effexor and start stripping :) seemed to go something like that but I am sure due to my craziness there was more to it than that... I just can't see it today... my blinders are on. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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btdt

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btdt - that is a really great story, and i agree with you on all points.  we are very function-oriented...theres always a place we can apply ourselves, and we can find commonalities with other human beings based on how we apply our functional skills, even if we cant always know how the other person is thinking.

 

you are indeed a motherly seeming figure, and i think a company would be idiotic to hire degree-trained people that dont have the experience and emotional touch of someone who has spent a good amount of time 'fighting in the trenches', as it were.  universities these days are just pyramids schemes.  you can encounter some cool knowledge, friends, and professors, but the institutions exist to take your money so you can go take the money of other people, and all for a social situation that could work just as well without universities at all, as you have proven your own self.

 

westcoast - laundry is one of the most difficult things in my life sometimes.  i go weeks without washing, and luckily have enough stored up to pull it off most times.  the mental and physical energy coupled with the fatigue, cramping, spasms, and concentration issues make laundry one of the most frustrating things, especially due to how simple it seems.  i applied for social security in-home care so maybe i can have transportation to buy groceries or pre-cooked food, and maybe ill get some help with laundry, but itd make me feel like a fuckin bum.

To tell you the truth I worked under a lot of people with a lot of educations many times they came to me for advice and often for a pick me up line when they were down ...like why are we doing this work they are never going to heal... 

 

they did not get it.. there is not making the broken window unbroken.. it is not even about trying to do that... it is not the point... some if it is abuse and not a huge physical birth defect some of those can be massaged back to health with enough love and care... some with trauma abuse can't... that is my greatest regret... a 5 year old who would not speak.. who was a grey area and I had no room for her on my list... but tried to get to her in the day as I knew she was going to have a bleak future I had her brother and sister of younger ages in the same center... I was sure there was some way to get to her given enough time and effort but it had be soon... I made no head way... none I regret that. I hope she is well... all three kids witnessed the father kill the mother... the grandparents had them.. but one was dying of cancer... off topic again...

 

Here is the point the point is to add joy... enlightenment ... growth ...pleasure ... more independence ... freedom to explore and enjoy the world with whatever working senses they have and develop new ones... Nothing would make me madder than a system that alters a tricycle for a disabled kid and sends it to be used with bolts sticking out far they hit the ground... making it unusable... and a rule your not allowed to modify it because of insurance ... pff... as if... bought my own bolts fixed and got a warning ... i don't work well in systems that are stupid.

 

The point is not the fixing for some not all can be fixed... but they still are human they still experience life... as living beings they can be shown experiences to enhance their experience of being alive... communications is a huge part of this and so is always a focus of such work.

 

Crap sorry I am off topic my mind wonders.. so much.  

 

"time 'fighting in the trenches" 

I did not have time fighting in the trenches I had time loving children... lol the job I would do for free remember... that is the joy of it all or was. Everyone who wanted that job had to work in th center and have their skill set observed... while they worked I think that was the clincher it was not smarts but intangible things... carefully choosing employees I think is a huge part in their success. 

 

The laundry... I see you... where you are.. wow i am honored you spend your time typing to me.  Have you had any windows yet where you could easily do the laundry so your waiting for a window... I have spent a lot of time in nightgowns waiting on windows in my life. I am low on clothes due to finances and not fitting into clothes cause I am fat ... things hurt my stomach a lot so nothing can touch it... 

 

sorry interupted have to go...

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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I know this was for WC but I want to comment.

"- laundry is one of the most difficult things in my life sometimes.  i go weeks without washing, and luckily have enough stored up to pull it off most times.  the mental and physical energy coupled with the fatigue, cramping, spasms, and concentration issues make laundry one of the most frustrating things, especially due to how simple it seems.  i applied for social security in-home care so maybe i can have transportation to buy groceries or pre-cooked food, and maybe ill get some help with laundry, but itd make me feel like a fuckin bum."

 

I am on social security the version we have here in Canada and while I should not complain I could.  I am not good at asking for or taking help even when I really really need it... I have done some outrageous things to avoid asking or taking help... some were not good for me. That is how I am made I guess.  In home care is in such short supply here there is not chance of getting any unless you are bedridden or just home from surgery... once after a surgery home care just never showed up tho it was booked ect. There are other home care helpers who are also in short supply they are in a constant battle to have enough of these people and nobody wants to do the job as the pay really what we seem to do with such work is bring in immigrants saying we have a labor shortage like McDonalds and Tim Hortons out west... there are no people to work... that is what they say.... 

 

what is really going on there are no people to work for the money your paying given the high cost of housing out west ... immigrants come they pay for housing at several people per place ...paid directly to the employer ...comes off their pay.... ya workers shortage my ass. If they complain or act up home they go... new ones come.. that is politics... 

 

Another reason there is not enough home care here lack of political will... the rich can pay a private nurse they don't care like private schools ect... ok enough political junk cause it is junk. 

 

I have washed some things in the sink... not as hard as it sounds... small things sink.. big things tub... I throw them in let them sit. I know it is not ideal but better then nothing. 

 

Food is a big one we all need food. I don't have many ideas on this except freeze extra when your well of things you can eat... but I know that may be pie in the sky thinking... some days it won't happen. 

 

For a long time my diet was boiled veggies and that was it.  Are there certain types of food you do well with?  Others you can't eat? 

 

I had stages for food for a time I ate only carrots then green beans then broccoli threw in a bit of grilled chicken for balance. I think it is part of healing the digest side of this.. probiotics are good too... if that is an issue.

 

Forgive the rant... I do runon .. I hope you get the help as for feeling like a bum... I am sure every one of us has at some point or maybe all the way thru this felt like a bum... I sure do and all the way thru not just hit and miss. I am not living up to my potential I am not sure if I ever will again but I am still here and willing to find out. 

peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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UI, I hope you can get that help. If you feel like a bum, try to enjoy feeling like a bum.What's the alternative? You're not ripping anyone off. The people who had the job of preventing drug damage and didn't do it are the bums, and the taxpayer gets to pay for the mop-up.

 

BT, it was a nice story. I can see that knack in your posts on this site. Fearless but not aggressive. And open, while knowing your limits.

 

WC

Thanks WC 

Some times I wish I had no limits was all powerful and could just fix all these simple things that seem so easy... but likely aren't. 

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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